Mufti Menk – Sexual Rights in Islam – PART TWO
AI: Summary ©
The transcript discusses the importance of sexual intimacy and maintaining clean behavior in public settings, as well as the transmission of STDs and the need for individuals to attend to the Muslim umjit. The speakers stress the importance of avoiding certain behavior and maintaining good behavior, as well as the insensitive nature of certain actions and the insensitive nature of certain actions. They also discuss the benefits of alcohol, medication, and premeditated divorce, and encourage people to deal with the matter and not be shamed.
AI: Summary ©
You know, the difficulty is the new generation,
they have stopped asking the question.
I have had people yesterday, someone sent me
an email to say, look, as a female,
I need oral *.
The private part in the *, a source
of a lot of infections.
Sheikh, is there a hadith that says oral
* for both males and females is haram?
What is being presented in the * movies
and the * industry does not represent the
reality or the truth whatsoever.
All right, let's go to role plays in
sexual intimacy between spouses.
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, my brothers, my sisters
in Islam.
Bismillah wa alhamdulillah wa salatu wassalam ala rasoolillahi
sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
Unplugged, a video series that we have started
alhamdulillah rabbil alameen a couple of years ago
and it reached the millions by Allah's favor
and blessings alhamdulillah.
May Allah make these videos beneficial to one
and all.
But one episode in particular that attracted the
attention of so many around the world.
And towards the end of that episode, we
made a plea.
We actually reach out to you and we
ask you to provide a feedback.
And that episode was the last one when
we were in Indonesia together.
Myself, Dr. Muhammad Salah, Mufti Ismail Mink.
And we told you that based on your
feedback, we will insha'Allah record a second
episode.
And that was the sexual responsibility and roles
in Islam for, of course, married couples.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept from
one and all.
But before we dig into the discussion of
part two, I owe you an apology, Mufti.
Many people told me you were interrupting Mufti
Mink in the first discussion.
So apologies.
Please forgive me.
Because I didn't interrupt you.
That's the problem.
But many people were pointing at this that
you interrupted Mufti Mink a lot.
I didn't mind the interruption.
They were beneficial.
Forgive me.
So we need to maintain the time of
the session.
So let's dig into it.
Dr. Muhammad Salah, Mufti Ismail Mink.
Welcome back to Unplugged.
And the first question which came a lot.
By the way, this episode is based on
the comments of the first video.
And one of the questions that came throughout
the pages of Mufti Mink, Dr. Muhammad Salah
and myself is oral *.
Is it halal?
Is it flat out haram?
Are there anything in particular permissible, not allowed?
Bismillah.
Take the lead.
Basically, there are two opinions among the scholars.
There is the opinion that says that nothing
of that nature is permissible because of a
person being a believer.
You use the tongue and the mouth to
say the shahadah and so on and honorable
things and so on.
And the other opinion says, look, if someone
wants to lick their nose or do something,
it's considered perhaps not upon a level that
would be encouraged or something.
But to you, to move to the level
of prohibition would be beyond what is clearly
stated as a prohibition.
So the two opinions, one is that it
should be avoided.
And the other is there is a scope
of permissibility.
Perhaps Dr. Muhammad can elaborate on that a
little bit further, because I'm sure he would
have greater experience with huda and with all
the questions that he gets.
Usually, you know, the difficulty is the new
generation.
They have stopped asking the question.
They involve in it without asking.
And they they say, look, what is haram
in this?
If it is clean and if it is
what, you know, if there is no dalil
specifically prohibiting it, why are you prohibiting it
for us?
So they stopped asking.
So we're basically talking to those who are
really concerned and maybe the older lot.
I have had people yesterday, someone sent me
an email to say, look, as a female,
I need oral *.
This is the question.
And I recently got married.
My husband is not going to do that.
He said it's prohibited.
What do I do?
I'm not going to.
It's early on in the marriage.
And it's a tough one to navigate because
I can't convince you to follow an opinion.
If the husband believes that it's not allowed,
I mean, how do I convince him?
Look, there is another opinion.
And if someone is following the other opinion,
how do I convince them the other way?
Dr. Muhammad, you have to really navigate through
this one, because it is one of the
crucial questions that needs to be hit head
on.
You have the, you know, I don't want
to call it the old school, but you
have the, you already did.
No, no, I don't want to call it
the old school, but, you know, there needs
to be a balance.
But there are people out there are coming
now saying what's halal, what's haram without really
being grounded.
To start with, can I say something really
important, more important than the question of oral
*?
That is, please ensure that your private parts
are very, very clean at all times.
That's something that you should never compromise.
And this is why you and I know
about halkul ana that, you know, the removal
of the hair of the entire private area
is something from the fitrah.
And we should be doing it on a
regular basis.
Some people have asked, are you allowed to
laser?
Are you allowed to wax?
Are you allowed to remove this way?
You remove it however you have to.
Why don't you just give them another question
though?
Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
You added to the list.
You added to the list.
This is something very important for people to
know.
Yes.
Do you see how deep it goes?
So this time I'm interrupting you, Habibi.
Nonetheless, the place needs to be clean.
I mean, if someone wants to really, you
know, if they can really kiss someone on
the nose and bite the nose and lick
somebody's nose and lick somebody's ears.
I mean, if the place is generally clean,
it's very different from if, you know, you
have green snots coming out and you say,
can I lick the nose?
La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.
May Allah forgive us.
Sorry about that.
That's the third question.
Licking the nose.
Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu ala nabiyyin mustafa
wa ba'd.
Alhamdulillah, Islam and science go hand in hand.
And they are in harmony in every aspect
by the grace of Allah.
So it is very important also to consider
the pathological aspect of it.
The private part and the * are a
source of a lot of infections, especially there
are a lot of people who may have
STDs like HP and human papilloma and so
on.
And they don't know only when it breaks
out.
The transmission, not necessarily because of sexual contact.
There are so many reasons, you know, the
clinics, the toilet seats, the public toilet seats,
etc.
So if it happens and one of the
partners, especially the female, happens to take any
of these STDs, and you can imagine a
person is putting his mouth where there is
STDs, sexual transmitted disease.
This is completely not advised because it's not
about the cleanliness.
You're talking about viral infection.
So it's sitting there, even if you wash
so many times.
But even in this case, penetration would be
also not advisable.
Well, if they are having sexual contact, then
one time is sufficient to pick it up.
But we're talking about admitting it to your
mouth and having those rashes and so on
on your lips.
So the pathological aspect of it is very,
very important to consider.
This is a place which is full of
microorganisms, infection.
So maintaining its cleanness, as my dear brother
said, is something really important, especially when you
happen to use public toilets and stuff like
that.
Secondly, yes, there is no direct prophetic prohibition.
It's neither mentioned in the Qur'an nor
in the seven hadiths that the Prophet said
don't do oral *.
As a matter of fact, last time when
we spoke about inner penetration, yes, there is
a straightforward hadith forbidding that.
But when it comes to oral *, and
since it was not even considered, it wasn't
on the screen, it wasn't something that people
even inquired about in the past, simply because
of the widespread of the * clips and
having these sceneries available to everyone, then people
started getting aroused, learning, trying to experiment.
Navigating.
Navigating.
But in a Muslim society and in a
modest society, never ever anyone thought about it
before.
But since it is there, we have to
handle it.
We have to attend to the viewers and
to the Muslim ummah.
It is our responsibility.
So in brief, Shaykh, is there a hadith
that says oral * for both males and
females is haram?
No, there is no hadith.
So then it's not haram.
Well, there is no hadith.
But there is a hadith in which the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam disliked touching a
woman's private part with the right hand.
He said always use the left hand.
Do not touch the very private part with
the right hand.
This is the hand, not the mouth.
So if you look at it from the
perspective of not the old school cleanliness, considering
that this tongue is normally used for the
remembrance of Allah, the recitation of the Quran,
it is better to avoid it.
But do we have a reference where the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it is
haram?
No, we don't.
So let's put it this way.
So regarding the issue that Mufti Mink mentioned
that someone asked, like a lady asked him
via email about that she needed it, she
is inquiring it from her husband, in those
cases also it's better not to...
You know, it is interesting because the spouse
may detest it, may think it is disgusting.
And of course in small circles and in
the counseling sessions, one of the partners say
that it is disgusting.
I feel like I want to throw up.
And the other partner enjoys it.
So not because you enjoy it, you make
your partner throw up or vomit.
They don't like it.
Even if it is halal, don't push them
to do it.
I actually came across a few years ago
someone who said that one of the questions
before marriage was what's your opinion on oral
*?
And they were embarrassed.
They said, how could they have asked this
question pre-marriage?
And I said, you know what, maybe you
just need to answer the question and say
what you think.
They should.
Maybe it's an important thing.
It is, because if one of the partners,
whether he or she, the future partner, dare
to ask the question, that means it represents
for them an ideology.
You see, there was a time when this
was not even asked because it didn't exist.
I mean, people might laugh at it, but
there was a time.
If it did happen, it would have been
mentioned somewhere in the kutub, somewhere in the
hadith, somewhere in the Islamic history.
But because there is no mention of it
before a certain time, so it's become urf
or it's become from the urf of certain
people, it seeped into those who were more
modest about this particular thing.
And that's why today the debate is such
that, like I said earlier, the young generation,
to them it's not even a question, and
honestly so.
Because there was a certain event I attended,
and one of the things that I tried
to ask a few of the youngsters is,
you know what, what exactly are your views
on this?
And they said, what do you mean?
Besides * penetration, there's nothing else that is
haram.
Yeah, and because * became the main primary
educator in this area, and may Allah protect
us, now we receive a lot of emails
from husbands and from wives that the actions,
the disgusting actions shown in these films also
have entered Muslim homes as a result.
I remember in Medina we asked one of
the mashayikh there, when we were students, just
young, and he said it's not recommended, but
you can't say it's prohibited.
So they left it at that.
And we were, at that time I was
too young and shy to even ask further.
We just kept quiet and, you know, that's
it.
One thing, Brother Wael, just brought up, talking
about the * industry, that we need to
share with the viewers something really important.
What is being presented in the * movies
and the * industry does not represent the
reality or the truth whatsoever.
And most of those who are involved, the
actors or the actresses, they have to administer
some sort of drugs in order to bear
the pain.
The pain, the meditation.
And, you know, the filth that they are
involved in, which even animals do not degrade
themselves to such level.
How do we know that?
We know that because of a lot of
documentaries, whether on Discovery Channel or whatever.
They've confessed.
After they've come out, there are a few
who have actually come open.
Some who quit, and some who after contracting
some serious STDs and they are just waiting
for their death.
They warn, they warn the youngsters especially, a
lot of college girls who want to pay
for their education and they find easy money
there.
You know, thousands of dollars on a daily
basis.
So they destroy them.
And they give them drugs in order to
be capable to resume.
So what you see in these movies do
not represent the reality whatsoever.
Unless if you lose your life as well.
In fact, there is a professor in Australia
by the name of Mary Crabb.
She actually traveled to certain parts in the
States and she interviewed * stars.
And one of them mentioned that those who
are trying to imitate us in their homes,
they need to see a psychologist.
This is from the lips of the people
in the industry.
May Allah protect us all.
Alright, let's go to role plays in sexual
intimacy between spouses.
Handcuffing, acting as if they are * their
wives, like a scene as if he kidnapped
the wife, he threw her in the bed,
physically became violent, and they call it marital
*.
Have you ever heard about someone trying some
role play and they choked the wife and
she died?
I read that a few years ago in
the news.
In that case, in Australia as well.
I think those who are into that, they
definitely need to visit and see a psychiatrist.
You know, Sheikh Naif, I can add something.
I think it depends what exactly the role
playing is about.
Whatever he mentioned is really…
Yes, what you've mentioned is like…
They call it marital * now.
No, I think there's a difference between the
two.
A role play is generally when you're pretending,
you put up a scene, you want to
have fun with perhaps something that's been in
your mind, or whatever it might have been.
I think if it is something crazy, like
where you're handcuffing and being violent and doing
some things, that would have a ruling.
But if it's someone who says, look, I'd
like you to dress up, I'd like you
to be this, I'd like you to that,
to a certain extent, perhaps the lighter of
it might be…
It's not a prohibited thing, it makes you
guys happy, and it's something that's not violent,
it's something that's not low in its moral
itself, not degrading of anyone.
When he mentioned the role playing, what crossed
my mind first, the cross-dressing.
No, cross-dressing…
And this is something that we need to
address.
No, Islam does not allow that.
Islam doesn't allow a male to become or
be a female.
Islam doesn't allow that.
According to Islamic law, it's very clear on
that.
Habibi, we have to tell the viewers that
there is a difference between makrooh and haram
and a curse, because this kind of role
-playing, if a man dresses like a woman,
a woman dresses like a man, just mere
dressing, even in private, the Prophet ﷺ cursed
those who do so.
And cursing means attardu min rahmatillah, to be
deprived from Allah's mercy on the day of
judgment.
لَعَنَ اللَّهُ الرَّجُلُ يَلْبَسُ لِبْسَةَ الْمَرْءَ وَالْمَرْءَةُ تَلْبَسُ
لِبْسَةَ الرَّجُلُ It is absolutely a curse.
Cross-dressing, even in the bedroom, even for
fun, is something that whoever does it, is
accursed by Allah and His Messenger ﷺ.
That's an Islamic ruling.
And you know, one of the strange things
is that a lot of people think that
now that I'm married, I can do whatever
I want.
But in actual fact, Islam holds us at
the highest values and morals, even in the
bedroom and even in warfare.
Like when there's a war going on, you
cannot just do what you like, that these
are your enemies.
No, these are your brothers that you've disagreed
with or you need to fight for a
reason, but you've got to be humane.
That's why the treatment of prisoners of war,
the way you attack a person, someone who's
surrendering, you're not allowed to touch them.
So all of that, there is discipline in
everything.
Within the bedroom, it's probably the biggest discipline.
But Allah says you enjoy, because of it
being halal, in a respectable, beautiful way.
Punch in the face, punch in the face,
this is absolutely forbidden.
You don't belittle someone, you don't abuse them.
Language also, the tongue.
Calling each other names.
A lot of people have said, the only
time I swear is when I'm in bed.
What kind of swearing first?
So calling his wife, for example, a word
that is known for people who does the
fahisha, those kind of words that also are
heard usually on these * videos.
A BIT, basically.
And the Prophet ﷺ also taught us about
several diseases of the tongue, that a man
may utter a word that may anger Allah
ﷻ, and as a result of it, يَهُوِي
بِهَا فِي جَهَنَّمٍ سَبْعُونَ خَرِيفًا Someone may utter
a word, as a result of the anger
and the wrath of Allah ﷻ, such a
word may take its utterer to hellfire for
70 years.
So is this allowed in Islam?
Is this something that is acceptable?
Well, this is a very sensitive topic, and
to be honest with you, only a word
which incurs a fahisha.
Like, you know, in Islam, if a man
says to any person, a word which a
lot of people use, such as, I'm sorry
to say, the word bastard, which means born
out of good luck.
Am I correct?
This word requires a severe punishment in Islam.
It's called قذف.
It's even mentioned in Surah An-Nur.
And the accusation, even if it is just
a joke, it is punishable in Islam.
So whether a wife, whether in bed, whether
having a sexual fun, this word should be
avoided whatsoever.
Whether describing a female or describing a male.
This is something not to be...
But lighter words, which may spice up the
relationship, which does not refer to being an
adulterer, or an adulteress, or born out of
good luck, enjoy.
I see.
Simple and clear.
May Allah protect us.
That's why I said it is very sensitive.
Some people are very creative in the type
of words they use, habibi.
And by the way, every language...
And I'm sure in the comments, we're going
to have all these words, people saying, la
hawla, la hawla.
We're stepping into a very...
Sensitive.
...risky and sensitive area.
Why?
Look, we're not looking into trend.
We already have, mashallah, millions of followers.
But we cater for what people need, especially
the youth.
Because unfortunately, you will not find it anywhere
else.
Am I correct?
Like I said, they don't ask anymore.
They just do it.
I mean, the guy, look, he uses the
F word, and when you ask him, why
are you using it?
He said, well, that's exactly what's happening.
So why shouldn't I use the word?
What I mean is that, you know, when
you say F you to somebody, what are
you referring to?
He says, well, I'm in the act with
my own spouse.
Now what do I say?
So basically, la hawla wa la quwwata illa
billah.
So...
Just move on.
Yeah, just move on.
Basically, it's tough, wallahi.
And that's why, look, I believe, mu'mineen are
supposed to be upon the highest level of...
Yes, yes.
And the words and everything.
Now, I remember some time, a guy says,
you know, if we have to behave the
way some of the sheikhs have to say,
you know, our sexual relation with our spouse
would just be so formal like you're in
an office, and, you know, that's it.
You just get done and you move.
How do they know how the sheikhs behave
in bed?
No, they say the way the sheikhs are
speaking, you know, to say that you have
to...
Because I remember this, one sheikh says stuff
long back.
I mean, sheikh, he said that you're not
allowed to remove your undergarment.
You have to just, you know, your trousers.
I'm saying, how are you going to do
things?
How are you going to do things?
But it's there.
They say, no, you must be, you must
have shyness to that degree so they don't
take off their clothes.
See, if you're not going to, if you're
not going to remove your clothing...
There are some schools who believe that even
while taking a shower, this question I've received
tons of times, is it okay to swim
naked while taking a shower?
So they take shower with...
Clothes.
With their undergarments.
So some people might laugh, but there are
people like, like, for example, someone says, how
can you have lingerie, you know?
So I said, that's true.
You mean what lingerie?
You know what I mean?
You're not supposed to have anything.
This is something that we're not saying it's
permissible, we're saying you should.
Yes, so if it comes to lingerie, something,
you know, I don't want to say brand
names, but they have this, you know, the
underwear that might be attractive, depending on what
your spouse likes.
Some spouses do not like certain types of
underwear which you might think they would like.
You can find out and so on.
And that is all permissible, Habibi.
That's permissible.
Now sometimes couples get married and the husband
would travel to a different country for his
livelihood and they would stay far away from
each other for a year, for two, for
three.
And to, you know, provide themselves with pleasure,
they will open the cameras and they do
what is known as cyber *.
What's now the Fiqhi opinion on this?
And I wanted to mention a few things
quickly, inshallah.
By the way, those who open their cameras
and engage in these, what is known as
cyber *, be absolutely vigilant, even if you're
married couples, because there are hackers out there
who works for these * sites.
They are hunting these types of conversations to
download your video.
A lot of families' lives have been destroyed
as a result.
Actually, there is an AI, there is an
AI tool that hackers use in order to
pick up skin on your phone.
And the minute it happens, they are alerted,
and they will hack into your system and
record that video as it's happening without you
knowing.
May Allah protect everyone.
And many of these videos found their ways
to * websites, so be absolutely vigilant.
SubhanAllah, instead of trying to treat the side
effects, why don't we treat the disease itself,
the cause of the problem?
The cause of the problem, look how the
ummah and its ulema and its true leaders
handled this issue since the beginning.
When Umar ibn al-Khattab, radiyaAllahu anhu, while
walking in the streets, investigating the condition of
the ummah, the ra'iyah, and he heard
a woman, she was making a poetry how
much she is missing her husband, and had
it not been for the fear of Allah,
somebody else would be in bed with her
right now.
Immediately he went home, and he asked his
daughter Hafsa, who was the prophet's wife, he
asked her a question, he said, for how
long can a woman bear patiently the absence
of her husband, not having an intimate relationship
with him?
She realized that he was asking for the
benefit of the ummah.
She said, you know, four to six months.
So he immediately released a decree, all the
Muslim commanders of chiefs, because the Muslim armies
were spread all over during the time of
Umar ibn al-Khattab.
This woman's husband was deployed in one of
the armies.
So he said that the maximum period of
absence is six months.
Four months on the battlefield or in the
military camp, and one month traveling, and one
month returning, because the journey takes a month
or so.
So a total of a maximum of six
months.
Now this question was presented to me tons
of times, especially on Ask Uda.
So I advise those who are called the
kafir, you know, the sponsors, the expats who
come from all over the world, in order
to work, to earn their living, especially in
the Gulf.
So some, you know, they take their passports
away, and they promise them next year, next
year, next year, and they end up working
for several years without having a chance to
return, to check on their families physically, not
only to have an intimate relationship, but also
to see his mother before she died, his
father before he's married, his son when he
got married, whatever.
I would like to tell our rich brothers,
those who have companies and businesses and have
a lot of expats, you know, this is
superior to building a masjid.
This is superior to giving in a charity
here and there, even if you pay him
the ticket out of your pocket.
And it is absolutely his right.
So if his wife is not living with
him, his family is not living with him,
once a year they must go back.
If you want to follow the sunnah, if
you want to become a pious man, a
couple of times every year, two weeks and
two weeks, so this is an annual leave,
one month divided every six months.
And every person signs a contract to understand
that it's not only you who have rights,
you know, also your wife and your children.
When you say decipher *, and mashallah elaborated
on the danger of being recorded and then
being exposed.
Some people take their lives when they see
themselves and their wives, you know, millions of
viewership, and they don't know what to do.
You know, they're being exposed, even though they
thought, that's why in fiqh they say, الحكم
على الشيء فرع عن تصوره You cannot give
a verdict unless if you encompass all the
circumstances of the masalah.
So now we added to the fiqh something
that, if you are online, you're not actually
alone.
There is Big Brother, there are a lot
of hackers, there is AI, there is whatever.
So be careful, you're not alone.
May I add something really important?
Even if no one, if you are on
a secure network, and you're sure that it's
you and your spouse alone, does it mean
that it's okay to masturbate?
Because what do you mean cyber *?
You are in a different country, she is
in a different country.
How would you stimulate her?
She would have to stimulate herself.
And how would you stimulate yourself?
By yourself?
That's called what?
*.
So *, inducing * and sexual discharge is
haram.
I know that some of our colleagues said,
you know, it's halal, but they are missing
one point, which is...
They say it's maqroob.
When does it become okay?
When we compare between two cases, two conditions,
one which is definitely the person is about
to commit adultery.
Zina, yeah.
They say it protects you from the greatest
sin, zina.
Last night, after we had dinner, I shared
with Brother Wael an incident.
I don't want to say it live, but,
you know, a woman approached me in the
street.
And, you know, I figured that she is
a worker, one of those who do this
kind of...
like a prostitute.
Subhanallah, she is hunting for men.
So when a person thinks, since I've been
away from my spouse for a while, and
there is a fear that the person would
fall in zina, big time, in this case
the alternative, which is also haram, but it's
a lesser haram than committing adultery.
So when you hear one of the shuyukhs
saying that * is halal, it is not
absolute halal.
When you do it, you understand that you're
committing haram.
It's the last resort.
It is the last resort in case that
you fear committing adultery.
A follow-up on this * part, the
use of certain toys in the presence of
both.
The spouse are together, but they use, instead
of their organs, they use toys to stimulate
each other.
Is the use of these toys halal or
haram in Islam?
You see, when the two are together and
they're in the bedroom, and it also again
depends on the stimulators that someone wants to
use exactly what it is, you know, so
you're replacing what you're supposed to be doing
with something else totally, then why are you
there, you know?
But if it is something to spice it
up, then again, it depends exactly what it
is.
There are so many things out there, it's
crazy.
I hope that the viewers are appreciating that
we're talking about very sensitive.
And another thing, it's tough for us to
talk about it because we ourselves are not
absolutely sure about exactly what there is.
We are only aware of it through questions
that come through people who say things and
describe things, and it's crazy enough anyway.
So I can only imagine what it must
be in the real sense, you know?
And there is so much that happens.
There is, for example, I'll give you one
quick example.
There's a lady who says, and this happens
in many cases, says, you know what?
My husband does whatever he has to, he's
done, I'm not yet done, and he's just,
you know, not even bothered, he can't.
So is it okay for me to carry
on myself to ensure that I have climaxed?
And the husband says, here is a toy
for you and you can do your thing,
you know?
So it's insensitive on the part of the
husband.
And number two is, what option are you
leaving her with?
Another thing is what type, some people use
their own hands, right?
In order, and some people cannot be stimulated
unless they use their own hands.
And that's the addictive part of the action.
No, and sometimes...
Which is permissible if it is the hands
of the spouse.
Like, you know, *, but by the hand
of the spouse is permissible.
It's not haram.
Because it's part of the act.
That's why if the husband is done, some
people have premature * and some sickness.
It's treatable though.
Some women have like, stimulation is very different
from woman to woman according to what I
learned.
Also simply because of extreme circumcision as it
was done in the past, extreme.
So in this case, the husband should carry
on with his hand and that is definitely
permissible.
Hasbunallah.
It's tough.
Final question, inshallah.
There are plenty of questions, but we wanted
to cover those.
You mean you need a part three?
I think so.
Wallahi, you're putting us in such a spot.
Wallahi, but it's, look, people are also, remember,
people are appreciating this so much because this
one of the topics is way less talked
about than regular topics which people have been
educated on.
You know, the sad thing is because of
the difference of opinion, there is definitely gray
area.
So like we say, something is makruh, something
is last resort, something is something, you know.
The reason why this discussion happens is because
there is no clear-cut evidence to say
haram, haram, haram.
If there was, we wouldn't even be having
this discussion like there is regarding * penetration.
But we have to have this discussion because
of difference of opinion, the strong difference of
opinion.
Some of these scholars are scholars of note,
you know.
It's not just ordinary young people who know
nothing.
Some of them are scholars of note.
But then again we say even if they
have said something, carry yourself as a person
who's respectable and do that which is honorable
and enjoy yourself within what is the limit,
inshallah.
Keep in mind that experimenting new things doesn't
have an end.
It's endless.
It's limitless.
So basically, when you look at the end
result, the outcome, which is when both have
reached their climax, then it doesn't matter what
happened before and during.
They have reached their climax.
They are in a state of comfort and
rest.
If every time the person comes up with
a new thing and whether he's not sure
halal or haram or whether he knows it
is haram, but you know, for the sake
of satisfaction, it's endless.
You will get bored of this and you
will try to try something new and something
new.
How all those things come to one's mind?
It only comes through watching what is forbidden.
Otherwise, you and I have been created according
to the pure nature, fitrah, which is a
man and woman who got together, happened to
enjoy the sexual relations for five minutes, ten
minutes, twenty minutes, whatever it takes, a half
hour.
They relaxed.
I don't know what.
And then they relaxed.
Alhamdulillah, shukrullah.
You know what the Prophet said in this
regard?
This is a friendly advice.
If you see a beautiful woman outside or
a scene that arouses you, he says, grab
everything in hand, go home, enjoy an intimate
relationship with your spouse.
The same applies to the world, by the
way.
And then she's got what every other woman
has gotten.
What does it mean?
It means the outcome, the end result, which
is once the person, he or she, have
reached their climax or simply happen to have
sexual discharge, they're relieved.
They're in a state of comfort.
Sometimes you would think it was miserable.
What we did was disgusting.
Why did we do this?
Some spouses punish each other by holding back.
They say, you know what, I'm going to
hold back because I want to punish.
In actual fact, it causes so many other
haram things.
So whenever anyone of the spouses would like
to fulfill their desires, you must oblige.
Even the women, sometimes they say, I have
an urge for it.
I'm at an age where I really am
on a high.
And this guy is like he's not even
interested.
That is wrong.
You have to fulfill it as an ibadah,
as a duty, as a right, as something
you are the only person who can fulfill
it for her.
If you don't, Wallahi, what do you expect?
I have a case.
The wife is upset with her husband, so
she holds back from him.
And then she complains that she can't watch
him pour.
Okay.
And I happen to meet with both of
them, speak to them.
And I thought that he will deny, say
it was by mistake, by accident, you know,
whatever.
No, as a matter of fact, he didn't
deny.
He said, yeah, because she's refusing to share
bed with me.
And for the first time in my life,
I was speechless.
It's like, you know, okay, even though this
is haram, and I can give him lectures
and teachings in this regard, but she was
the main cause.
She did haram too.
The guy says, I was busy all day.
I was at work.
I came back.
I was tired.
No, no, no.
You are married.
You have to come back, and you have
to be energetic.
You have to take an interest in your
spouse, and so on.
On the other hand, the spouse says, I've
been all day.
Even if she goes to work, or she's
whatever, or she's sitting at home, she says,
I've been busy with the kids, and with
this, and with this, and I can't, and
whatever.
We are taught, you have to make that
sacrifice.
Whether you like it or not, you have
to make it.
That is the ibadah.
And that is the act of worship.
You know, it's a crazy thing.
You were going to say the last question?
Yeah, because we have a lot, plenty of
them.
I'm afraid now to promise 80 part 3,
but I'll leave that to you to decide.
Inshallah, our next journey will be in?
Inshallah.
Africa.
We're back to Africa later.
We're here from Hong Kong.
But Inshallah, we'll leave that to later.
Maybe we can decide.
But the final question is, using contraceptive methods
during sexual *, like condoms and whatnot, flavored,
they call it now flavored condom, to enjoy
the oral part of the *, and whatnot.
Permissibility, halal, haram?
Wearing condoms or similar contraceptives for women, this
is permissible.
This is definitely permissible.
In order to, you know, in order to
arouse further towards oral *, the question was
answered in the beginning of the session.
But it's definitely much lesser than if it
is without the condom or the such contraceptives,
because there will be a direct contact with
the *, which we say that we should
really avoid.
For many reasons, pathological, medical reasons, and also
the religious reasons.
There are many types of...
But we didn't say it is haram.
There are many types of contraceptives.
The reversible ones generally are permissible, but the
condition is you must look at the side
effects for you with that particular contraceptive.
A lot of people complain that the pill
causes long-term bloating and it has long
-term effects and then later...
I believe it is.
Yes.
It has a lot of side effects.
It has a lot of side effects.
Some people prefer the IUD or the coil
or different types of medications.
I heard about that IUD is very popular.
You have to make sure that whatever is
suitable.
Perhaps a lot of people suggest that the
condom is probably the most suitable.
It might be uncomfortable for the male.
Yeah.
كُنَّ نَعْزِلُ وَالْقُرْآنُ يَنْزِلُ So the withdrawal method
is effective only for those who have control
of it.
Withdrawal means *, but outside the *.
So basically, there is a permissibility there obviously.
But one last thing I want to just
add.
You know when talking about medication and having
medications, this issue of * and the issue
of medication to enhance one's libido.
So in Islam generally, you should not take
medication without necessity.
A guy says he's performing normally and he
wants to outperform himself so he has that
and he dies of a heart attack because
that dilates everything.
And it's dangerous.
It has long-term effects.
Then you will not be able to do
it without that medication.
So be careful.
Yes, if you're eating healthy, you're sleeping healthy
and you're exercising well, you will automatically be
able to operate better.
But if you are a person who doesn't
eat well, you don't sleep well, you perhaps
have habits, perhaps maybe smoking or drinking, whatever,
استغفر الله العظيم and drinking is not even
supposed to be in the picture and so
on.
But if people have those, then obviously you're
going to weaken your own strength.
So to have that medication is not recommended.
It's not a good thing unless you need
it.
If someone really needs something, then there is
permissibility.
So why I want to say this is
a young guy, 25 years old, just got
married.
He says, Sheikh, you know what?
I'd like to use this medication.
What do you know?
Some people aren't denied to consummate and they
marry.
Even before experimenting this, before they are given
a lot of things to take in order
to enhance their sexual ability and they end
up with a terrible night.
They rupture the * of their spouses and
so on.
You know why they do that, Sheikh?
I heard from some of my clients because
of the fear of failing during the first
night.
Habibi, let me take advantage of this and
add to the viewers something really important.
Actually, a couple of things.
Number one is when you were speaking about
contraceptives, you mentioned a specific thing.
We're not talking about the hukm of contraceptives
in general.
This is another matter.
Delaying the conception.
You were talking about it in order to
facilitate the oral *, okay?
So this is something that we discussed.
We did not address the hukm of contraceptives
in general in order to postpone or to
prevent pregnancy and conception.
Secondly, every couple, before you get married, you
have to attend courses or classes or counseling
sessions and it is very useful and it
enhances the ability of, you know, passing this
night safely, knowing how to handle your spouse
and it is for both men and women.
Thirdly, if a couple are not enjoying their
sexual relations for a reason or another, sometimes
they cannot communicate the message or get the
message across to each other.
Accordingly, they go into their own cave and
they start browsing and, you know, enjoying their
life in private, their miserable life in private.
And that's why I would like to add
one more time.
Wallahi, counseling has helped a lot of families,
even in these very private manners, especially when
the counselor, medical counselor, religious counselor, knows what
he or she is talking about and they
keep their conversation, your conversation, or them very
confidential with absolute privacy and give you some
medical or religious hints and steps, scheme to
follow, you will see a great deal of
improvement.
A lot of divorce cases, they were on
the edge of divorce because of not finding
a solution.
Then when they spoke about it, and in
the counseling sessions, they realized that it is
solvable, it is treatable.
So, do not jump into conclusion and the
final result, which is divorce, before finding a
treatment, before giving yourself a chance to find
out whether this is something that you can
overcome or not.
The Prophet s.a.w. said, إِنَّمَا الْعِلْمُ
بِالتَّهَلُّمِ You know, we did not learn reading
and writing Mufti Menk has not become Mufti
Menk, Wa'il Ibrahim has not become Wa
'il Ibrahim overnight.
It is a matter of learning and practicing
and in turn getting certificates, experience, in order
to share all of that with the viewers
and have our video, or one hour video,
and so on.
So, it takes ages.
And that is why even the relationship, the
very private relationship between a man and wife,
every person thinks that I know better, I
am an expert on that.
Wallahi, it seems like you don't know nothing.
You know, really, you don't know nothing.
You need to learn.
And the Prophet s.a.w. was a
pioneer in that.
And he taught us so many things in
this regard.
May Allah's peace and blessings be upon you.
الحمد لله بارك الله فيكم جزاكم الله خير
Can I add something?
Yes, yes.
No, you interrupted me.
No, no.
I'll add this because it's connected to the
* that I mentioned earlier and similar medications.
You know, there is something called erectile dysfunction,
where a man simply cannot get erect.
So, in that particular case, he needs to
be honest with himself.
Because I know of so many cases of
people who end up getting married knowing their
sickness.
And then, they punish somebody else's daughter.
And this person, it's so embarrassing to live
with someone and not to be able to
just confide in.
Some people, a year later, you find out
this guy hasn't touched you.
And you wonder, what on earth is going
on?
You ask him, no, no, but I'm this
and this.
Excuses.
So, we have to be honest with ourselves.
This is what Dr. Muhammad said last time.
Help five Ahkam of marriage whenever it is
haram.
Yes, you have to actually seek help.
And you have to deal with the matter.
Don't be ashamed.
If you have a problem, deal with it.
You can deal with it.
Medically, they could help you in a great
way in so many cases.
There are very few cases where they can't
really help you.
But otherwise, they can help you so much.
Even when those who have complete erectile dysfunction,
they implant certain machines and it functions with
the remote control.
I have a case.
No, no, this is permissible.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Alhamdulillah, I've seen a case where, again, they
were on the verge of divorce because the
wife was, like, simply not married.
And he went through an operation.
It's very costly.
This is not penile implantation, though.
This is, you know, something that works with
the nervous system and using a remote control
and it lasts for as long as he
wants.
As long as he wants.
And this is only for people with complete
erectile dysfunction.
So you need medical advice in this regard.
I just wanted to share with you.
The British will ask, is it on the
NHS or not?
May Allah forgive me.
Look, I'm first time hearing of this, but
it's interesting.
Medicine were mentioned in this episode.
That's not a medical suggestion from myself or
from Mufti Mink.
Maybe from Dr. Muhammad Salah.
He's a doctor by profession.
So, but anyone who wanted to seek further
assistance, you should, you know, talk to your
physician, to your doctors, inshaAllah.
InshaAllah, remind me to speak about the aphrodisiac
foods.
You know?
So that means there is an episode 3.
I think, I think what would happen is
then we will start entering territory where we're
going to be, everyone's going to be glued
to say, what's going on?
In the comments, they'll say, I ate this
and guess what happened, you know?
You don't want all of that here.
Anyway, we'll leave it at this.
May Allah protect our homes.
May Allah protect our spouses, our children.
May Allah protect us from all harms and
all vices in our time until the end
of time.
Ameen.
Until we meet Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
يَوْمَ لَا يَنْفَعُ مَالٌ وَلَا بَنُونَ إِلَّا مَنْ
أَطَى اللَّهِ بِقَلْبٍ سَلِيمٍ On that day, when
there is no one will avail you in
the least except those who will come to
Allah with pure heart.
May Allah make us among them.
Ameen.
Ameen.
JazakAllah khairan.
I love you for the sake of Allah.
And now, please, leave your comments.
If you didn't watch the first episode, we'll
leave a link somewhere.
Wallahi, it is not easy to present such
episode and to answer such very sensitive questions
willingly.
But this is for the sake of Allah.
Alhamdulillah.
BarakAllahu feekum.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.