A special lecture delivered at Masjid Ad Duhaa in Sandton South Africa on the sad reality of where we are and where we should be. A very passionate and direct message to everyone.
Mufti Menk – The Sad Reality
AI: Summary ©
The segment discusses the sad reality of Islam, including the sad reality of being in a situation where one is being the last person to greet and the sad reality of marriage and divorce where children are now adults. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding a smile and trusting oneself, while also acknowledging and embracing the holy spirit in one's life. The speaker also highlights the negative consequences of not trusting oneself and the need for responsibility from individuals.
AI: Transcript ©
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah why Allah Allah He was happy.
We praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, for indeed he was the chosen by Allah subhanho wa Taala the greatest of creation, the most noble of all prophets of Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon him, We ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to bless his household, his companions, may Allah subhanho wa Taala bless them all and bless every one of you. May Allah bless the oma at large our offspring May Allah keep a steadfast on the deen, my brothers and sisters in Islam. The sad reality is that where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing, some times we become oblivious of.
And what happens is as a result of that we tend to suffer. We suffer in our individual capacities. We suffer within our families within our societies, we suffer as an oma as well. And we struggle. And each one of us begins to ask, When will the help of Allah subhanho wa Taala? Come? You and I know that on a global level, Islam and the Muslim mean are looked at with an eye of mistrust, with an eye of evil intent with an eye of that which is negative completely. The question is, where have we gone wrong? The sad reality is individually, we need to rectify ourselves. People think it's a joke. But voila, it's not Where is the love that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam has told us
about law you may know hadoken Hector, you hit ballia he may you hit good enough. See, none of you are true believers, until you love for your brothers what you love for yourself.
If you've seen something bad in me, you need to make sure you address it in the way you would love it if you found with the same weakness or the same bad such that it would be rectified. Holding the integrity of the individual intact as possible. Where is the love gun? Today we see someone do something bad. The first thing that comes to our minds, let's expose that word expose is a dangerous word. When the Hadid sysmon satara muslimin satara hula hooping.
Whoever covers the faults of a Muslim, Allah will cover their faults in this world and the next whoever covers the faults of another the defects Allah will cover them when they're doing the opposite. That's the sad reality. The opposite we enjoy exposing even when we don't know if what we're saying is correct. We love it. We enjoy it then we will be exposed when we are all exposed. No one loves anyone. No one likes anyone. No one even wants to mix with anyone no one trusts anyone because we were the cause that's the sad reality. So we need to change this Where is the love between us? Where is the smile? That is a sorta we fail in that Where is it? The sad reality is we
smile when there is a woman in front of us whom it is perhaps haram for us to even develop a relationship with or to say more than that which is necessary. Then the smile comes about when there is a wealthy man a person who we know perhaps we're going to gain something we greet nice and loud we go we smile. We want to be kind and good to such a person. The reason is something besides the link of the dean, where are the smiles amongst us as an oma The sad reality is they are snatched away because we don't see the importance of the smile anymore. My brothers, my sisters learn to develop these beautiful sulan of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam great habits, they will come
to us with positive impact with great benefit with solutions to our problem. Where is the greeting? The sad reality is we stopped greeting each other. You cross the Muslim in a mall, you are the last person they will greet Why? The sad reality is they would prefer to greet those who don't even belong to Islam, giving them priority over brothers and sisters in the faith. I'm not saying it's wrong or right to greet someone else. But I am saying when are the priorities Subhanallah Why don't we greet one another for work.
What is the problem and then when we greet each other, let's not make someone else's life difficult by putting them into such a corner that they won't want to greet us again. SubhanAllah where is the one gone in the Medina what that means? The sad reality is when you see someone do something the worst possible thought comes to your mind. That's the sad reality. Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, the best possible thought should come to your mind. You see someone doing something that looks so negative, you must find 70 excuses for that person. The sad reality is, we are far from that we will find 70 evil reasons to put the person in such a corner that they cannot interact
in society again, and we will wrong we only find out after the damage is done. Where are the days when? Or where is the teaching that you're not allowed to backbite it is worse than adultery. It is worse than this. It is as eating the flesh of your dead brother. Where is it? The sad reality is, all of us, myself included, need to do more to protect ourselves from backbiting. May Allah forgive us?
This is the sad reality. This is where the oma has reached my brothers. My sisters make an intention to change yourself for the sake of Allah you will find within your home. Where is the respect between the spouses? Where is the dignity, where is the trust, something happens and we think the worst? And another thing is we try to tell our spouse, why don't you trust me? You have trust issues, but we are perpetrating crimes like adultery, we are involved we are guilty. We are giving them reason to doubt us. And then we want to use Islam in order to just come to our rescue to say you know what you're not supposed to be doubting that's it. Sometimes the men say I'm the man I'm
the boss, etc. That word boss, the last I saw was just a perfume. May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us.
Have you seen it too? Now I think they've developed a leather jacket to Allah subhanho wa Taala grantors goodness. So don't think that you can use this 10 boss in order to oppress your spouse. It's not it's wrong. You are part of the best oma, go to
reject me.
You are the best of nations developed for the benefit of mankind for the benefit of the rest of you. Did you know that? That's what the verse means that you have been made you have come Allah has put you in a position that you can be the most beneficial to announce to the people. And one of the ways of benefiting is to encourage people to do good to discourage them from bad in a beautiful polite way. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his interaction with the enemies of Islam was such that you wouldn't even know this one was an enemy Allahu Akbar. How did he speak to Abuja? How did he speak to an Athena signatura? How did he speak to me? He spoke to them with respect. We don't speak
to our parents with that much respect. That's the sad reality. Your father means nothing to you. Your mother is another hag stopzilla. That's what it is. We don't even have speech within the minute they want to guide us. They want to tell us something that's if there's crossed off our list. We don't want to go to the place. We don't want to make a phone call. Where is the respect? Where is the dignity that having been said, parents, it is not just a green light that you know what your gender is under my feet. So you do as I will say, That's not what the Quran and Sunnah teach, never Are you allowed to take advantage of that. Like I said moments ago, you cannot say a statement and
just try and say that word covers my oppression. It doesn't. You can be a mother but you can also go to jahannam. When you have oppressed, remember that Jana under your feet, your feet and your whole body will be elsewhere. May Allah protect us. If you oppress then you do not deserve the status. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us all guidance. So we are struggling The sad reality is parents are not proper parents in their in fulfilling their roles. And children are not proper in fulfilling their roles. That's a sad reality. Let's change that we can change it. That's why we're here today to talk about the sad reality and what we should do about it.
The world is suffering but in my little circle my suffering, I am responsible for you. I make my sister's life so difficult just because she married the guy I don't like or I may make my brother's life so difficult just because my wife and his wife had a bit of speech. One wanted to go to pizza in and the other one wanted to go to Haagen dazs no problem. So Pamela go to both places.
One day here one day, they all give them their independence. That's the reality. How do you give them their independence, one of the sad reality is we love to control control. Sometimes in some cultures, the father has to have a say as to when his daughter in law must come or go, or when she must even start villa.
Be with his own son.
With control who gave you that authority, I'm the father, unless you are nothing man. If that is your attitude, you're probably going to be cast into Hellfire, you're at your status will only come about when you fulfill allows instruction to you. The children are now adults, give them their freedom. Let them do what they have to Subhanallah they are adults, you will guide them, but you cannot keep controlling your entire Empire. It's not money. No, it's not. These are human beings who are waiting for you to die so that they can lead a life. That's the sad reality. Let them live their life, they will give you they might make two or three mistakes you have made 20 or 30. That's the
sad reality, you still want to control. The mother in law must have the statement of the house, what to eat, when to eat, how to cook, and on top of that when it is ready. It's not good enough, why we can change that.
And remember, I might be saying this, but it's not in all homes. I'm only talking about the homes where this applies. Sadly, it's a very big number.
A large number of homes.
We force our children to marry whom we want. It is happening in society and community. Recently I was in the UK and I tell you so many people are struggling young girls who have marriage age where the father says I'm taking you back to this country or that country and unica is going to be in one week, two weeks to you Don't worry, it's sorted out what is happening in the first world countries among the Muslims. Why it is haram haram haram to do this is a reality. It's a sad reality. If it's not happening in your midst, thank Allah. Then, in marriage, we become racist. The child wants to marry someone who comes from across the river back in the subcontinent. And the answer is no way you
crazy will lie even if they want to marry the darkest person in complexion. If the man has been in a flood, let it happen because it is your duty unto Allah for that to happen. You have to fulfill your role unto Allah, you don't follow your whims and fancies. The sad reality is we do what we want. You know, culture is something very good. Only if it conforms to Islam. The minute it doesn't throw it out of the window, you will struggle you will suffer. Sometimes we want to hold the whole family together. Every function everyone must be together in one place. I have 12 sons, all 12 of them with their with my daughters in law, for example, and my children, grandchildren, everyone is there every
evening. You don't have to be there every meal. Sometimes the son wants to take his wife and go to replace what's wrong. But you're the boss, you are the crown. That's what you are. Allah says it's a sad reality. Don't say we're breaking homes. No. Unity is not in being together physically, but rather it is in tolerating one another, respecting one another. That's what we're taught by Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam Have you ever known of an IED where he told all his children, his daughters? Listen, you come in my place. Otherwise, it's over. But that's what we're hearing in the oma divorces are happening for this reason. Where is the where is the tongue today? When the Prophet
sallallahu Sallam warned us about the tongue unluckily, Sonic so many times controlling your tongue today, the sad reality we lie, we cheat. We swear we steal we divorce. Just like that, but happened to the tongue. This is a sad reality. Let's go back to the path. We are suffering as an oma because of your town. Yes. You don't know how to how to talk to your folks to those whom you live with. You have no idea. Why make other people's lives difficult. That's the sad reality. We enjoy it. In the house. We enjoy making life difficult for our relatives elated to live and let live make dua for them. Everyone makes mistakes.
Why make life difficult in the house? It's a sad reality.
We have problem upon problem. We are the managers that were built and where is the sacrifice that we used to have for marriage?
One law here today I am called more for divorce arbitrations than for appreciation of nikka. Whereas a few years ago, it was the other way around. They were more nicotine than palette. today. I'm telling you there is more than nica if people get married a year later, you can say Are they still together? Mashallah, that's what's happening. Now Allah forgive us.
If the sad reality, I'm not joking with you, I'm being honest.
Where are the simple weddings where they they are gone, because we want to show the whole world show a lot that you do it the right way. That's what it is simple wedding, no matter how wealthy you are, keep it simple, because people will follow the trend. Well, ah he I know of many families who take her on bank loans in order to give their daughter a marriage they cannot afford and the marriage is broken, before the loan is repaid. Trust me, Allah forgive us. Don't do that. Not at all. Where is the Sunnah? Where is Islam? Where are we who call ourselves the Muslims? Is this not the sad reality? It is your life? Where is the respect of Allah? Where is it? Yes, they may make mistakes,
it doesn't mean that we don't respect them. When we respect that Allah we will be able to learn the deen we will be able to put it into practice. But because he made one mistake, that's it gone half the time. It's a rumor. He did not even make that mistake.
My brothers, my sisters. Like I say, I spoke about the children and the parents. We speak about respecting the allama. And we also want to encourage the Lama to say keep your respect in tact. Be careful. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us is you know, another point of sad reality as I was driving here, my phone rings, I'm busy following a satellite navigation. Now the Google Maps and my phone rings. It's very difficult to answer. But it's a disturbing. So I answered the young men. Can I ask you a question? What is your name? Brother, I wish to remain anonymous. Why my brother? I want to ask you some serious questions. I'm thinking now you know what? Maybe this man might want to ask
me something to do with terrorism, and with ISIS and so on. Because, you know, we believe that you're not allowed to kill innocent people, we definitely believe that as Muslims, you are not allowed to harm people for no reason. That is the stumbling block. That is where we differ with a lot of others who might feel otherwise. When I say a lot, it's a small number. But for us, even if it's two or three becomes a lot, we should be worried about it. So we do not harm people just because they are not Muslim. Due to their faith or inclination. You don't just harm someone. They are your brothers and sisters in humanity, whether you say yes or no, they still are human beings.
They are the creatures of the same Allah Who made you, you need to all them fulfill their rights, even if they they've chosen differently from you. So anyway, the brother says, I have to ask you some questions. What is the question my brother? Let's get to the point you won't believe in. You know what he tells me?
Do you love women?
Can you believe what I just said? will lie. As I was driving him. I told him Yes. Why not? Even the prophets of Allah Salaam loved women? What's wrong with that?
If you don't, you're abnormal.
Allah forgive us. If you're talking of Haram, that's something else. That's a different topic altogether. If you're talking of Shahar lusts, desires, it's something else. But how can you ask me such a question? No, you love women. I said, so what's wrong? If you're talking of harm, that's another topic. What is silicosis? This is the sad reality of it. Anyway, what's your next question, brother? He will you know what it was?
As disgraceful as it is. I'm going to say it here to show you the sad state of affairs, people. This is what they think that the old llama are therefore,
what's your opinion on oral *? One line, I almost fainted in Nadella here in a Roger Castleman Bill, Bill. This happened to me not more than an hour ago.
It's the sad reality. So I told him Brother, you don't know me. You don't have a clue. You haven't interacted with me. Perhaps if you interact with me, if you met me, if you perhaps traveled with me. And maybe I ask a lot to give us that opportunity. You might get to understand who I am before you even have such a mind that thinks in this way. Because now I can deduce as a human being where and how filthy the mind may be how contaminated it is, as a result of shape, man, but I still have hope in the brother. While law he I did not disrespect him.
I didn't disrespect Him. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us ease. So this is the sad reality, the way people think of Allah. And I'm not talking about myself alone. I'm giving you a real life example of mine, because it's burning. I feel look at what a waste of a phone call that money being given to a sidecar to someone else rather than give it to vodacom would have been much more beneficial for your asherah it might have been the rent that would have got you the tipping of the scales that was so desperately needed on the Day of Judgment. It could have been and here it winds in what something that was unnecessary, totally nonsense.
I'm not saying I don't make mistakes, but my brothers, my sisters.
Go back to the teachings of Islam. someone makes a mistake. Correct. When you hear something about someone, it's probably rumor find an excuse. It's called a hospital. That's what we are taught to think. Good. But the sad reality is we think the West, the West, my brothers, my sisters, what's happening in the homes, I can tell you two problems. One is people issue politics, like it's no man's business. I'll divorce you, you better watch. How can you use it as a threat? Is that what Islam teaches? You said reality is happening amongst the Muslims. And then they rattle the words and suddenly rush to the alama because they know it's a disaster.
What am I going to do for you? What?
To the one who shot all three bullets? And now what?
And the opposite is also correct where the people are not getting along. It happens sometimes. And we hold back the talaq in order to fix someone which is also Haram. I'll fix you. I'll show you I'm The Man Who do you think you are? You're the woman. Let me tell you Islam has given the woman such a rank. Can I tell you what type of rank through her your whole world can come upside down? Remember that it can be turned topsy turvy, completely gone. You won't know what hit you your health failed, things started happening, your wealth failed, you became depressed, you became sad, within the space of two, three years why you oppressed somebody's daughter. When the Quran says while Chiku
never hold back a woman's divorce in order to punish her. The Quran says that loud and clear. Never hold back the divorce of a woman you know that the marriage is over but you're holding back in order to punish in order to be fooled with enmity because of the hatred you have never do that. It's a reality but people are doing it and they think I was not going to punish them. They think Allah is not watching. They think they're not going to pay a heavy, heavy, heavy price for that. My brothers my sisters, go and learn about the law and divorce. You will know why they are three after the one you can reconcile. After the second one you can reconcile. The problem is when the three are given,
then the reconciliation process is a little bit different and more difficult.
My brothers and sisters it's a reality. We are facing disaster. Where are the honest businessmen today? The sad reality is we cheat each other such that we are scared to do business with one another.
frightened this man I'd rather do business with a Jewish man. Because you know what? He'll pay me? Muslim I don't want Am I right? This is happening. We'd rather go shop somewhere where the Spats people who are unknown to us.
We don't trust each other. That's a sad reality. My brothers and sisters this needs to change. Let's become honest. Let's live up to the word. Let's improve the image of this Deen because we are ambassadors of it. Imagine the ambassador himself or herself is a criminal. What do you think will happen to whatever they are representing? You representing Islam. Be careful. Go back home speak with respect with dignity.
Greet the people talk to them. Remember to make life easy for one another. Fulfill your Salah. What has happened to this? How come the massages are empty? How come What's going on? We are the days when we used to fill the masjid. It's a sad reality. Today we have a car we have fuel. We have the wealth. We have everything but we just lazy what's going on a menu is playing Liverpool demon. Allah forgive us, man you Liverpool.
I don't think you'll be resurrected with a football on the Day of Judgment.
My brothers and sisters you can see I'm passionate. You can see I'm trying to express a very very serious message to you. The reason is, you know we are suffering as an oma, we've been speaking politely for years on end. And even today, I'm trying my best to be as respectful as possible. But bringing out real life issues. We are struggling our children don't spend time with us because we are busy on our phones put them away. While law he put your phone away. While I tell you the phone alone is responsible for a lot of sinful behavior and for the breakage of a lot of relationships that were otherwise brilliant.
I swear by Allah that what I've just said is the truth.
Exercise any entity, throw your phone away if you have to some annaleigh throw it away.
But build your relationships cut out the harem. Why is it that the reality is when it comes to harem we are we are so so interested and we become energetic.
And the guy is suddenly full power going into her and excited. And when it comes to halaal, that which Allah has ordained, suddenly we become disinterested. Your wife, May Allah forgive us. I have had a case not one but many were men for their sexual satisfaction, they go outside the home, come home. The woman by the way, that's my wife. Anyway, a year passed two years pass Bala three years passed. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
May Allah forgive us? That is why the Hadith says to fulfill
that
desire of your spouse is a sadaqa. That's what the Hadith says. It's a charity. It's an act of worship.
The Sahaba asked, How are the Allah know how the Prophet sallahu wa sallam said do you know if a man fulfills his desires in haram? Will he be sinful? They said yes, when he fulfilled it in this way, then he will definitely be rewarded. Because he did it halon so fulfill people's rights starting with your own spouse. We need to be embarrassed of the way we behave. Sometimes. My brothers and sisters, there is still hope in the oma
and I tell you what brings a smile to my face. The fact that we are here to be inspired tonight.
Every one of you may Allah bless you. I am convinced that you have come in order to hear a message that will move you and I pray that you've been moved in one way or another. Let's learn to love one another for the sake of Allah. Let's learn to appreciate one another. Let's be genuine towards one another. Let's learn the deen and try and put it into practice. You know sometimes the more you know or the more pious you become shaytan comes to you from a different angle. And you know what he says?
Chamberlain says, Now you are holier than the others. Now you are more knowledgeable than the others. You need to despise them. You need to belittle them so we start despising and belittling others thinking that it's because we are now holy.
The Holy you become, the softer your heart becomes a sign of the love of Allah is when you start loving the rest of the creatures of the same Allah. Did you hear that?
A sign of the love of Allah you becoming pious, you start worrying about everyone. You see a man drunk. And your concern is Yala, one of your creatures, Allah protect me from it granted goodness, your law and you try and protect him, safeguard him and try and give him a good word. Sometimes that might not be the moment you might get another moment you might have to befriend him first in one way, but don't come in and justify evil company by saying those are just my friends. I'm going to correct them one day. I had a case where there was a young man on drugs Mashallah big beard hamdulillah you know, outwardly looking really good, but his family knows what they were going
through. And you know what? He tells me No, no, no, I move around with these guys because insha Allah give them he died one day I said my brother, my brother, nevermind, give them he died one day The thing is, they are impacting upon you in such a negative way already. You need to save yourself and move because the sharks will By the way, will consume. You cannot keep on saying that. So let's not cheat. You know, you can cheat people you cannot cheat Allah. You can tell people things you cannot cheat Allah, Allah will catch you. Allah knows Allah will come. And Allah subhanho wa Taala all he does, he gives us a chance. We have that chance right now. May Allah forgive ourselves. May
Allah subhanho wa Taala bless us. And Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to be the best of people. We're lucky when someone interacts with you. Any one of you, when someone interacts with you, he or she should immediately pick up that this person is on another level immediately. Don't be judgmental. Don't be a person who spreads hate today we spread so much of hay we become jealous of people for their money, for their knowledge for a gift that Allah has given them, we become jealous, become happy. One lie he become happy for people. That's an act of worship as well. Be happy at the happiness of another is an act of worship. be sad at the loss of another today someone loses
something.
Well, that's what the whole oma will be saying about you. If each one says about each other, you can imagine the condition of the oma that's where we are today. I want to end with the last point,
my 30 minutes.
The last point is my brothers, my sisters. today. We look for any and this is the sad reality, any reason to divide us and we work on it and we massage it and we allow it to grow and we become more and more divided small cracks. We chisel into it and we make it a huge crater. That's what's out.
I encourage you to look for reasons to get together. Rather than looking for reasons to split. The pool man needs to come together, we will always have differences, whether it's with our parents, with our children, with our spouses, with our brothers and sisters, with the broader family, with the community, even as an oma, sometimes you may be doing things differently from the brothers and sisters we have in Indonesia and Malaysia, they may be doing things differently from brothers and sisters in Arabia, they may be doing things differently from those in the states and those in Europe. Because each one knows what he or she is going through. You may never know the circumstances
surrounding why they are doing what they're doing. But they are your brothers and sisters, treat them that way. Treat them that way. If you need to correct because there's something seriously wrong. Be patient, be patient, and do so in a loving way. Let them feel before you tell them what's right and wrong, that you are genuine. You see when you when you develop a relationship with someone, whatever you tell them, they will listen to you in a way you know, with open ears, because you have a relation. But when you don't have a relationship, you found someone anonymous call, I want to say this and who are you brother, if you were really bothered, make a relationship come to
me greet say things want to say you know, I just want to just say one two things after you've known me for five weeks, six weeks, a year, maybe perhaps you might want to if I was really in the wrong or lie, I would love it that someone told me privately You know what, this is an issue and they did not go and advertise it today. we advertise it so badly and like I said, it's even alive. So who's destroying I'm destroying sad reality. So my brothers and sisters, as an oma, we are calling each other names, we are dividing each other we are splitting each other we have one law he loves him I swear by Allah 1000 things in common, but we will still divide each other due to the 10 things we do
not have in common that is rare.
Our failure lies that is where the distraction lies, where you are looking for reason to divide. When I see you I say no let me find the reason why. I don't have to greet you. I can call you a funny name. I can call you a coffee, even small little law and I can switch at you I don't have to reply your salad. Let me look for that reason. Why it's a sad reality. Look for 1000s of reasons why I must smile at you and still greet you.
I hope that is a message for myself and all of you. And I hope this message goes far and wide. Because there's an omen. Voila what I said tonight, I need it and you all need it and we need it as an omen to defend ourselves. Allah Subhana Allah Allah will never change the condition of an of a nation until each individual does not take it upon himself or herself to change himself or herself. In Allah, Allah Do you
foresee him that's the first May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us ease and goodness upou holy hada for sallallahu wasallam obala
from the satanic alarm on the Chicago Allah, Allah, Allah and Mr. Furukawa