Mufti Menk – Ramadan 2022 – Boost #21 – Why should I be kind to my Parents

			Prophet peace be upon him said, look for Leila together in the last 10 nights of Ramadan, make the
most of these auspicious nights and multiply your reward, donate today, w w w dot Abdullah
aid.org.uk As salam o alaikum, my brothers and sisters, today, I would like to speak about the value
of parents, many people do not value their parents. And yes, it's not going to be easy at times to
have a beautiful relation with our parents, especially as we grow a little bit older. Sometimes when
you get married, sometimes when you have differences of opinion because of a generation gap, or
whatever else it may be, but your parents are your parents. irreplaceable. You need to understand
		

			Allah has emphasized so much that we have chosen your parents for you. And that is as a test for
you. You've got to be very, very kind to your parents and respectful. The issue of kindness and
respect is in the Quran. That alone shows us that no matter what they've done, or what they say, We
need to be kind and show respect to them. The only time we actually unplug is when they have
committed a crime against us, a crime against us in the sense that there are some who have suffered
abuse at the hands of their parents, especially when it comes to sexual abuse. My brothers and
sisters, we need to understand Islam would ask you to respectfully distance yourself if it needs to
		

			be taken further, it may be taken further But respectfully.
		

			Remember that Allah Almighty has placed upon our shoulders, to be dutiful to our parents. In the
case of the vast majority, we sometimes become nasty. We sometimes say hurtful words to our parents,
I have noticed one thing, the most successful from amongst us, in the true sense, are usually those
who have a brilliant relationship with their parents, my beloved parents, if you're listening to
this, I'm sure you're happy that we're addressing this matter because many parents complain to say,
share, you only speak about how parents should be kind to their children and merciful and how we
should adjust in order to help our children but you never encourage the children to be dutiful unto
		

			us. That is far from the truth when they listen to a lot of the lectures so they hear what is said
but we also encourage the children mainly to be kind, dutiful, respectful, because that's a verse of
the Quran. Allah Almighty speaks about being kind to parents who are not even Muslim, to ensure that
they are taken care of to ensure that we pray that Allah Almighty guide them, we are allowed to pray
for our parents who are alive even for their guidance, their mercy, their health and so much of
goodness for them. They are alive We ask Allah for goodness, the minute they pass on, if they were
not Muslim, we leave it Unto Allah. Allah tells us it's okay. Now leave it to me. We leave it to
		

			Allah, but Masha Allah Tabarak Allah in the case of the vast majority, when our parents are Muslim,
and we still don't have a good relation with them, we need to have a very candid, beautiful,
respectable relationship, you have a little bit of difference. Let them know, listen, my beloved
father, I love you so much. But on this particular matter, we don't see eye to eye. And I believe
that I'm correct in this one, if you can give up something for the sake of your parents do so. If
you cannot give up something permissible for the sake of your parents, it may not be something
totally haram. You, you may want to address the matter with your parents. Many people have brilliant
		

			parents who care for them, they speak to them, they communicate with each other, they have a
beautiful relationship, especially in this day and age. You need to have a good relationship with
your children and your parents both ways. Because we're living in an age where people are trying to
rip apart family units. And if what you are doing is going to be led to pass when you don't have an
excuse to do anything of that nature. It's going to come to you as you grow older people remember I
did this to my parents. So now my children are going to do something like that to me or even worse,
it can happen come at Dino to Daniel, you know, it's a debt as the what the type of debt you gave
		

			and that's what you're going to reap from it. You're going to be treated the way you treated others.
So my brothers and sisters, this tonight is the 23rd night.
		

			I'm speaking to you here while we're in one of the nights that could be les little cuddle, and I'm
reminding you about what being dutiful to parents. The reason is
		

			Allah Almighty created you and I, and he chose a channel to bring you and I about into this earth.
That was none other than your parents no matter who they are, whether they get along with each other
or not is besides the point, you need to be dutiful unto both of them whether they are separated,
which is quite common nowadays or not, you need to be kind and good to both of them and don't allow
one to, to actually
		

			brainwash you against the other. Yes, if there is heavy abuse, and you've seen it, or you are a part
of it, you're a victim of it. You may want to step keep a bit of a distance, but a respectful
distance, like I said earlier,
		

			depending on what exactly it is, because everyone's cases are different. This is a general piece of
advice to say my brothers and sisters.
		

			Let's spend today thinking about this. Let's spend today, trying to make amends. Speak to your
folks, tell them how much you love them how much they mean to you. Serve them, do something for
them, buy them something, maybe contact them if you're far away. Speak to them. How are you? I'm
missing you. And you know what, I love you so much. You've done so much for me appreciate what they
did for you when you were little when you were small when they perhaps didn't have much. And now
you're sitting time has passed. And mashallah we have become people who are maybe qualified,
graduated successful to a degree married, perhaps we have our own children? Do you just abandon your
		

			parents simply because maybe your spouse didn't get along with your folks? No, you don't need to do
that you can explain to your spouse, listen, you have a problem with my folks, that's fine. I am
their child, I need to maintain my relationship with them. For as long as they're not contaminating
you against your spouse, you make sure that you are fulfilling their rights. If they are
contaminating you can tell them listen, please don't talk to me about my spouse, anything else but
not about my spouse. That's how it should be. So this is some candid advice. It's beautiful. We need
to make things work. It needs to be realistic advice. I can't tell you to obey your parents under
		

			all circumstances because even Allah did not say that. But I have to tell you to be kind, to be
respectful. And when we say dutiful, generally those things that are permissible, if they were to
ask you to do them or to help them in that, you should do that and don't abandon them. No matter
what. Those who have abandoned their parents, you know what they struggle in life. Those who are
really nasty to their parents. Later on in life, they regret it one day when your parents are not
there, you will realize and that's why I want to end off by saying all those who have lost their
parents, we pray for them May Allah Almighty grant them genital for those May Allah Almighty bless
		

			Jimmy mo tell Muslim in all the those who have passed away from among the believers, and may Allah
Almighty grant all of us every goodness and those whose parents are alive, May Allah help us to
improve our relationship with our parents. Like I said, parents who are listening to this, may Allah
bless you to make it easy for your children. Don't try to interfere too much in their lives. They
won't appreciate it. Once they're adults. Remember, you have to let go a little bit. Some people
like to control every aspect of their marriage, children's lives. That's where everything goes
wrong. That's where everything goes wrong. When they're married. You do not attempt to control every
		

			aspect of their lives. You can advise them, let them make their decisions. They might make a few
blunders, it's okay. They will grow together in love harmony and they will love you to pieces be
easy going and Allah subhanho wa Taala will grant you ease in the dunya and akhira Ukko Koli, Harada
SallAllahu wasallam albaraka Allah and Amina Muhammad the Prophet peace be upon him said look for
Laila to gathered in the last 10 nights of Ramadan. Amongst the last 10 days is a night better than
1000 months. Make the most of these auspicious nights and multiply your rewards. feed the hungry,
shelter the needy, empower the poor and spread smiles amongst orphans.
		

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