Fourth Jumu’ah in Paarl, Western Cape (not part of Pearls Of Peace series), Ramadan 2013
Mufti Menk – Ramadan 2013 – Forgive Family First – Jumuah 4
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of having sex with a woman who is a god and finding a balance between the mother and children. They stress the need to work on bad habits and forgive mistakes, and emphasize the importance of reaching out to family members and finding peace in one's personal world. The speakers also emphasize the need to be mindful of past mistakes and future mistakes, and stress the importance of working on one's own habits and forgive mistakes.
AI: Summary ©
salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato
Bismillah Ar Rahman Al Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa jabeen. Woman
in Isla Medina.
We commenced by praising Allah subhanho wa Taala on this beautiful day of a Friday the last Friday of this beautiful month of Ramadan.
We said blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his entire household, all his companions. And we asked Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless them all and to bless every single one of us brothers and sisters in Islam.
Really, we have a gift. And this gift is that Allah subhanho wa Taala has not kept all the days equal in spirituality. No has he kept all the places equal in spirituality, certain days are more virtuous than others, and certain places are more virtuous than others. So if I were to be in muckety muck Obama right now, it is a far more blessings and spiritual place than where I am sitting right now. And where I am sitting right now is far more blessed and spiritual than my own home and the house that might be a few kilometers away. This is Allah subhanho wa Taala. His house It is only those who have a heart that is inclined towards their maker that would feel that they want to go to
their makers house. If I for example, were always found that your house it would mean that there is a connection between the two of us either there is a business connection or perhaps a friendship or relation. Somehow there is something linking us that is why you find me at your house. The same would apply with Allah subhanho wa Taala. If you find someone as the Hadith describes, or Julian tulku Malecon Bill massagin, a man whose heart is hanging in the house of Allah subhanho wa Taala that person will have a special shade on the Day of Judgment, and he will be considered a VIP on that particular day because he's always in the house of Allah subhanho wa Taala May Allah make us
from those
who looked forward to coming to his house and May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us from those who understand that the link that we develop with him is what will help us on the final day. But brothers and sisters, Allah has a plan for us the plan,
we will take a nice time to understand it, to really to put it into practice and to convey to others
through that particular lifetime that we have. Allah subhanho wa Taala has definitely made certain paths easier for us than other paths. If a person wants to know what Islam is all about Mashallah, a few moments we had a few moments ago, we had two brothers entering the fold of Islam, we welcome you to Islam. And we asked you to learn as much as you can about this religion. Because you know, Islam is a knowledge based religion, the more you know about it, the closer you become to Allah The more you love it, the less you know about it, the more you begin to dwindle. Now Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us from dwindling. So brothers and sisters, what we need to realize this life we live at
once.
We need to make the biggest effort to get as close as possible to Allah subhanho wa Taala. You know, if, for example,
a powerful leader was was walking into this Masjid now today,
we would make it our business to want to get close to him immediately. Because it's our only opportunity. We might never see him again. So the minimum is we want to greet him or we want to see him at least and we want to say you know, when that leader came here, I was there Subhana Allah,
Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us goodness, why don't we think to ourselves that in this life, we live once we have one opportunity to get close to Allah subhanho wa Taala it's important we make the most of it, and we try to get as close as possible to him. So let's get back to what I was saying at the beginning.
The blessing of the season is such that anything wrong we've done in the past, when the moment that is more blessing is now
close at hand all we happen to be living in it. We would be foolish if we did not seize that moment, to mend our pasts and to turn a new leaf.
So Allah subhanho wa Taala has given us the month of Ramadan on top of
We are in the last 10 nights of Ramadan. On top of that we are on a Friday. And on top of that we are in the house of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And on top of that, the moment that is this particular moment of Juma is perhaps the hour in which do hours and supplications are answered in a far quicker way than they would be during other times. And this is mentioned in the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam that on a Friday, there is one our way, if you want to call out to Allah subhanho wa Taala with something permissible, the response comes immediately and mostly as you are asking it,
to make use of it.
But there is a problem, what is the problem? Sometimes we are disputing with one another. So Allah says, these two, I don't want to listen until they solve their own problem out, let them carry on when they resolve their method, then they can come to me call out to me, then we will respond.
And we don't realize the damage that is caused by disunity. The damage that is caused by brothers not speaking to each other. May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide me as well. The damage that is caused by people who say I don't want to talk to him, but he's your blood brother. That's your son. How can you say I don't want to talk to him. That's your father. That's your mother. That's your sister. That's your arms law. We do not want to be from amongst those who did not see such a blessed moment to resolve our crises between us.
This life is a test nothing is going to be rosy, not at all. Allah did not promise us that you will have whatever you want. Because that is a promise for paradise. If we were to get whatever we wanted in this world as we want it, what would be the big deal of paradise? I had what I wanted in the world. Now when I go to Paradise, then what's the point? But Allah checked paradise where he says, See hamata stay
in it, there is whatever a soul desires and whatever is delicious to the eye. You will have soon as you look at something and you think he before you say I wish I had it, it's yours. Don't worry, Mashallah
happen in this world. Allah subhanho wa Taala protectors, Allah says we've kept that for later on. But in this world, you will want things you won't get them.
That's how allies kept it. But you will ask Allah because Allah has kept it such that when you want something, you need to ask him for it. So it draws you closer to Allah. So if I really want something, it allows way of making me call out to Allah to say Allah, please give me an Allah says you are such a beautiful worshiper calling out to me for this thing before this. You never ever called out to me, so you know what we're gonna do for you. We're not going to give it to you and we're going to keep you calling out to us until the day you die. That's a better deal than for him to have given it to us. The day we get it, we stop calling out to Allah. It happens sometimes people
are seeking Allah grant cure to all those who are sick.
And then they cry to Allah. And they've never cried like that before. And Allah loves that worship so much that Allah says, to do a favor to you, we're going to keep you like this so that we always see you caring to us, that will take you to paradise.
So hello Allah, sometimes people
are struggling to survive because perhaps they might be unemployed, perhaps they might have a salary that's a little bit smaller than what they actually need. May Allah grant us all Baraka in our sustenance, and they call out to Allah subhanho wa Taala saying, Allah help me Allah. Now if suddenly we become wealthy, it can happen that we forget Allah subhanho wa Taala so he taps us on our shoulder from a different angle. And he says, hang on, we still love you, we want you to come to us. So you know we're gonna introduce in your life a different type of a problem. So Pamela, we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to protect us and create so if a person is calling out to Allah, Allah,
Allah,
Allah helped me Allah I, I read the whole Quran Allah I mean the masjid I'm calling out to you, and Allah loves that. Allah loves that so much. Allah says, You know what, you are better off in this condition without what you are asking for because the fact that you soften your heart and you are crying to us is enough for us to grant you paradise.
Now granted to us.
We have an obstacle, what is the obstacle?
The introduction to it is that Allah has created us and in order to bring us in this world, he chose me
means that we had absolutely no say regarding.
So I am in this world, you are in this world, how did you come here? Someone gave birth to you? Who gave birth to you? someone whom I had no choice about? Why did I have no choice about? Because Allah chose? So who's your mother? Did you choose her? No, Allah chosen? Why did Allah not give me a say as to who my mother is? Because he wants that to be a test for me and you?
Whether your mother is a person who reads a Salah or not, She's your mother. Whether she's a Muslim or not, She's your mother. Whether she has bad habits or not. She's your mother, who chose her, Allah? Why did he happen to give me such and such a mother? Because it's a test for you. He wants to see as you grow up, are you going to sway her if you do, even if she's not, even if she's a non Muslim, you may lose what you've gained in terms of closeness to Allah.
When the Quran tells you that when your parents are not Muslim, you are still supposed to be respecting them. And obeying that instruction, if that instruction is not in the transgression of Allah subhanho wa Taala. How de can we get up and swayed, we get up and yell at our own mothers. And we want to sometimes even beat up our own parents, it's happening.
This is the obstacle. This is what is the obstacle we have not understood. Allah has planned for us. And Allah subhanho wa Taala has tested us by giving us the parents we have. But the same applies a lot tests us by giving us the children we as well. So the fathers who want to ignore their children will learn he, you might be missing your link with Allah subhanho wa Taala why he gave you those children, no matter what it's your child, you need to rise to the occasion stand up to your responsibility, even if it means you are struggling, but admit this is my child, and I'm going to look after my child. That is when you will earn the mercy of Allah Who gave you the child. Some
people say oh, this child is not fearing completion. So I'm embarrassed to work with the child. When I'm on the street, you bow you know, Subhana Allah, that is ignorance. Some might say my child is a little bit challenged, you know, they don't have a leg or they don't have this noise. I want nothing to do with the chat. Sometimes we begin to accuse spouses to say there's not my child, a sterile federal law. If this is it, we will never be able to develop a link with Allah subhanho wa Taala. Believe me, it is impossible. This is like a blocker.
It's like stops your development. So if you want to develop a link with Allah, make sure that you understand Allah plan, certain things he's done in order to test you. So burn your link with your child, build it, and make sure you have offered exemplary upbringing for that particular child. So he sees that he's struggling morning to evening, he's dedicated.
And he's so loving. And he comes home. And he spends time with us. He tries to make us laugh. He helps in the home, he brings a salary. He's he spends on us so much, Mashallah. And he instilled in us good values and morals. He's worried about our education. He tried his best to send us to the good schools. This is your success, my beloved father.
Same applies to mom, she speaks with respect in the home. She looks after us. She smiles. She is the means of comfort and serenity.
She is the means of the contentment of my heart and the coolness of my eyes. She has sacrificed so much. Her life is so straight. She is such a good role model. She's so exemplary. That is my mother, Allahu Akbar.
My dear mothers, if our children can say that about us, we have developed a link with Allah. Because the child is an Amana, from Allah.
And my beloved children, when you look at your father, he might have a little mistake or two, he might have a bad habit or to remember it is Allahu chose that father for you and that mother, so that he just watches what you are doing, how you react, how you speak to the Father to your mother, are you going to assist them? Sometimes a child makes a lot of money. And he doesn't want anything to do with his mother, because of two or three mistakes she's made in her life, two or three errors. So Allah says, hang on, you've made 3000 mistakes in the day. We don't want to look at that. We don't want to listen to your repentance because you need to sort your problem out with your mother
to start with. Go and search your problem out with your father, then come on to us. Do you want the loss of Hannah
Whatever to say that. No, we want to develop the link with Allah subhanho wa Taala. By being people who are upright, we have understood the role of the parents, we've understood the role of the children, and we have gone out of the way out of our own way of matters.
How many of us are ready to make peace with our brothers? Imagine we share a mother or a father.
And we don't speak to each other. Well, I can tell you, it is either because of wealth, or it's because of your choice of a wife. Or it's perhaps because of the fact that you have a bad habit or we have stolen something from one another or you served the rights of one another. My brothers and sisters, if
this moment in the house of Allah, within a Friday, within the last few days of Ramadan, within this blessed month, amazing if it doesn't move us to resolve our matters, what is going to move us
you will have speaker after speaker coming to talk to you, the most eloquent of speakers across the globe, the most pious of saints across the globe may come to speak to you if your heart is not moved. And if you think No, my problem is different than Believe me, you could just be severing your link with your own maker.
It's very possible. So it's important for us here now today to say Allah, my mother, my father, my grandma, my grandma on both sides, and both of them
and my children, if you have some May Allah grant us children who will be the coolness of our eyes, my spouse, my brothers and sisters, I will go out of my way to solve the matter to resolve.
Let's make it easy for one another to get together. Do you know and I want to say this because we are in the season laylatul car that was a night that Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam was informed
of the details of what night it was, whether it was a specific night, or it was rotating every year whatever it was, it was given to Nabi Salatu. Salam as information. This is the night and as he was coming out, they would do Muslims disputing I'm sure you know this. They were disputing, arguing fighting with one another. And in the process, the knowledge was snatched back.
So he said, search for the Night of Decree. It is one of these nights they asked him but which night is it? He said I had been given the knowledge, but because of the the debate, the argument, the dispute the fighting amongst the two of you, the knowledge is gone.
Now if you analyze that Hadith Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam is the Messenger of Allah.
But it is Allah subhanho wa Taala who chose
for him to tell us that because the danger and the damage of to Muslims fighting is such that you lose the essence of the Baraka in your sustenance, the Baraka in your health, the Baraka in your knowledge, the Baraka in everything lost. So you are stressed and everything goes wrong, and you are you cannot sleep at night you're busy thinking and when you do sleep you have a nightmare so you quickly wake up what happened. That brother was beating me on my back.
Allah bless us brothers goodness.
To two Muslims fighting look at the disaster. What if they are real brothers? Bigger disaster imagine
what if it's you with your child even worse,
when it's you and the parents even worse, but my brothers and sisters we must say one thing. Sometimes our parents get fed up with us because we have very bad habits. Sometimes we happen to be on a drug that we are not giving up, come what may not giving up
and we pinching from our parents every day.
And we are taking from them and we are lying to them and we making their life difficult. A parent in the heart they have a mercy towards the child that is instilled from Allah
subhanho wa Taala but sometimes, you know they say who would like to be cut with a knife? Anyone? No one. But if you have an appendicitis that's about to be bursting. You'll be the first one to say doctor, bring the knife.
You agree because you know it's the final solution is nothing else I can do. So sometimes parents say You know what? This child I want nothing to do with them.
Why do we force our parents to say that through our bad habits?
We need to work on our bad habits. Give it up Go back to your mom today say mom, no more those drugs I've thrown them out. That bad habit is gone. Not pinching any more. And you know what? I'm gonna work hard and replace whatever I've stolen from you. Please make draft for me. But for me, it is the mother's draw that will take you to paradise. It is your father's prayer.
For you, that will take you to Jenna Subhan Allah, on the day of judgment, you will be called with your father's name,
your name, son of so and so your father's name.
So, the message being delivered is do not make it difficult for your parents to have a good relation with you sometimes with us, we make it difficult, we make it hard.
Let's not let that happen. Allah subhanho wa Taala help us. And the same applies vice versa. Brothers and sisters, imagine I started off by saying brothers and sisters, I am your brother. Really? This bond is the bond of the Shahada. We have it is thicker than the bond of blood, we feel the connection we feel the link no matter how tall or short you are, what race you belong to. We feel the link Mashallah. We are brothers and sisters in faith, remember that. But the brothers and sisters who share the same lineage, have a double rights. What is the right double rights? The right is you go the extra mile to fulfill the responsibilities that Allah has placed on your shoulders
towards your brothers and sisters. If your sister is suffering, you look after her. She is a woman. And a woman has been granted a status in Islam so high that the closest male relative to her must always be keeping an eye to see if she is comfortable if she's okay, if she is being treated fairly. And if she is living a life that is at least manageable. If not, it's your duty to provide for her food, clothing and accommodation and some form of protection. May Allah subhanho wa Taala use us to protect our sisters.
Without the family unit.
We would really be people who are lost family unit is a blessing. Imagine if we were born in factories and we had to grow up in bottles and people picked us out of the fridge. What would happen? You must be wondering, it's Friday. We fasting Why is he talking a fridge law? Allah protect us really. The reason I say this is who changed your nappies who brought you up who fed you when had they left you you perhaps would have died. And sometimes some mothers make mistakes early on in your life. That doesn't mean you hold a grudge against them forever and ever go and make peace with them because we all make mistakes when it comes to Allah subhanho wa Taala we don't want him to hold that
against us and do mass in Hellfire forever and ever. We also want Him to forgive us inshallah, by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala and say he started off on the wrong footing. But there was a day when he changed his life. We are not going to look at the bad we are looking at what happened right now at the end of his life we got in paradise.
So learn to forgive. Some people have a hard heart they say no, I'm never going to forgive this mother of mine or this child of mine or this father of mine, and never going to give forgive my sister always It was too big. It was not too big. If they have changed and if there is remorse, believe me it's a time to show that you would like to achieve the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala as well when you have also wronged survive, none of us can say we are perfect. Not one. We have arrived. We have made mistakes and we continue to make mistakes continuously. of a different nature obviously, don't we want the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala? Well, you can get it but sought your
mentors out between yourselves. So timeout and you might say it's difficult so the more difficult it is the bigger the test for you. Prove that you can soak it up. May Allah subhanho wa Taala use us to sort out matters. My brothers and sisters
he does around the corner, we may not see it. Do you know that
I know of people who have passed away during this month, you may know so to
anyone who has a guarantee to say you are definitely not going to die today or tomorrow. Put up your hand.
Not one,
not one.
That means do not wait for EA to sort your matters out today. solve your problem.
resolve it if this is my last day, I'd like my last deed to be the deed where I have resolved my matters forgiven people. So when Allah sees this young person, it was so hard for them to forgive. And they forget for me, it is so easy to forgive, I forgive
these aligners that we need to get.
These are things we need to think about.
But still if we find ourselves being caught in the clutches of the devil.
The day of eat is around the corner as we say it is a day with a family unites families get together
It is a day where you sit in socialize with your family members in the obedience of Allah for the happiness of the day.
And the feeling that one gets when they share that day with family members is unmatched. I know of people who travelled long distances only to be with their folks on the day of need.
Really, they spend half the day and the other half, they're coming back home, and they're so happy I made my mother, I made my grand you know, I don't know if I'm going to see her again. So Panama
travelled long distances and ask those who spend the lonely he is it he will tell you, it's not like an E, where Allah subhanho wa Taala help us. And for this reason, we have two duties. One is reach out to your family and the other, reach out to the destitute, reach out to those who do not have family. They are found amongst us, people who are orphans, those who are widows, those perhaps who don't have family because they passed away those who might be from far off lands, you don't just look at the person coming into the machine and you say, hey, how much is gonna be back? Look at these guys. I don't even don't even know who they are. They're coming from outside. If that's our
attitude, we don't have the proper email. But when we see people, my brother, where are you from? He says, I come from Iceland, for example. Allah protect us. And you say, brother, would you like to join me on the day of eat?
I know of people who've done this, where they are others whom they did not know. But they The only thing they knew this person is not from our locality. Obviously, you gauge if he doesn't look like an upright person, it would be wrong for you to go so deep into a relation, perhaps you can offer him something good, you know, and maybe give it to him and carry on. But if you're inviting him home, he needs to have or he or she needs to have a slight bit of you know this uprightness about them.
And you bring them home, please share with us one meal.
Imagine someone who's from outside, they've got no family to have the need. There are people who are experts working in our mix. There are people who've come from far and wide because of different issues and problems they might have had in their countries, reach out to them, tell them that it is as blessed as it is for us and you and if the two of us get together, it will be even more blessing.
How many of us have reached out to the destitute the underprivileged, no matter how much you have, or how little you have reached out a little bit, a small amount, something small, a small drink chocolate given to a little child who perhaps doesn't have parents.
So if we are taught to reach out to a far wider group of people, what about our, our own little circle of family members and friends? Brothers and sisters, if you notice, this afternoon, I've spoken very strongly about the family
and the fact that we need to reach out to one another parents and children brothers and sisters. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless us to open our doors to grant us goodness, this eat should be a need with a difference. We want it to be a happy day in the obedience of Allah. It is a day of sacrifice. Yes, sometimes I know the sisters say you know ever since I married my husband does not allow me to go and see my folks what about my family? So we address the men to say you need to be fair sometimes let her to have the joy of sharing some of the eat once in a while, perhaps every few years with her folks as well. And if they're nearby, then you can visit them the same day. So one
morning you your folks the afternoon you would have folks Mashallah remember we get hungry two, three times a day not just once. Mashallah
and I want to end on a lighter note brothers and sisters. You know, sometimes on the day of eat, people have food in this in the pockets in every way. You know. There was a song I heard about a pizza in his pocket so panel I don't know if the kids might know that song. That pizza in the pocket comes from the devil he Subhana Allah. He is not a day when we are doing Kabbalah for what we did not eat in Ramadan.
is not a day when we are doing kabbah for what we did not eat in Ramadan. But it is a day Mashallah where you enjoy it's haram to fast no fasting allowed. It's sinful to fast on the day of eat, and you need to enjoy the food and you have a little bit here and there and you thank Allah but it is a day of unity of the oma. It is a day of bringing families together. It is the day of solitary where the entire oma gets together putting aside every difference. Let it not be just I put aside the difference for the day of Eden as soon as it is over my differences are back in place. No, those differences must be settled completely. If you understand the beauty of E you will realize the gift
of Allah subhanho wa Taala May Allah make this ending of Ramadan be with a difference may be all
Be resolving our matters and problems with our family members and friends. May Allah subhanho wa Taala use us to promote unity and May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless every single one of us until we meet again sometime we say wa sallahu wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad
Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen