Mufti Menk – No More Yelling
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of learning to navigate differences and appreciate the favor of the almighty. He emphasizes the need to be prepared to work things out and communicate respectfully. He also warns of the danger of embarrassment and offense at times in relationships.AI: Transcript ©
We will, as human beings, always have differences.
We need to learn to navigate through these
differences.
We need to learn to appreciate
what the almighty has bestowed upon us in
terms of favor.
Moments ago,
we were told that the divorce rate is
very high.
Are we not prepared to
talk things
out? Are we not prepared to work things
out? Are we not prepared to sacrifice?
Are we not prepared to be loyal for
the sake of one another and for the
sake of the betterment of our own children,
offspring,
family members, humanity at large. Yes, Divorce is
permissible but as a last resort,
we need to firstly try our best to
resolve matters. We need to try our best
to
speak about things. Like I said earlier,
sacrifice,
communicate.
If you're not prepared to communicate,
how do you expect to resolve problems? If
you're not prepared to compromise
to a degree,
how do you expect to resolve matters?
My beloved sisters, my beloved brothers,
it's important that when we select
a spouse,
we follow the instructions of the Almighty. We
follow the guidelines of the prophet Muhammad peace
be upon him. He tells us to look
at character. He tells us to look at
conduct. He tells us to look at connection
with the maker known as the deen, the
akhlaq.
Sometimes we don't do that and then later
on we regret.
People say, is it permissible for me to
marry so and so? There may be permissibility
but is it really someone that
your relationship will last with? That you will
have a good understanding with, a person whose
character and conduct will lead them to respecting
you. We lack respect sometimes.
We scream and yell at each other.
If that is the case, how will the
relationship work? We will not be able to
solve a family matter if we do not
speak respectfully.
If we yell and scream, shout and swear.
So remember,
as a believer that should not be one
of your characteristics
at all.
Neither with family
nor with those who are not your family.
No yelling and swearing and abusing. Unfortunately,
it is happening on a daily basis.
You have people who come into the home
as a husband perhaps,
and he thinks he has
the full authority to say what he wants
and do what he wants in a manner
that he wishes without bearing in mind that
he owes
answerability to Allah Almighty
to begin with.
You owe it to Allah. Don't are you
not ashamed
of how you speak in the house? Are
you not ashamed of how
or the words that you utter?
Are you not ashamed of
your children watching the way you are
handling their own mother?
And vice versa. Because at times the men
are complaining to us to say, you're always
speaking about one side of the coin. My
beloved brothers, you think we don't speak about
the other side because you don't you are
not even prepared to listen to what we
have to say. I usually say I have
addressed both sides.
But the men, what do they do? They
listen to the first two minutes of your
speech and then they turn it off and
they feel they know better in a lot
of cases. Right? Then they accuse you of
not having addressed the matter,
but instead they are guilty of not have
not listening.
May Allah Almighty
help us and guide us bearing in mind
I'm a man too.
So if we're guilty of it, it's collective.
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