Mufti Menk – How to Give Up Bad Habits
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smilla He will come to Lillah wa Salatu was Salam O Allah Abdullah Saleh Mohammed Ali, he was heavy hedge mine, my beloved brothers and dearest sisters. If you look at the teachings of Islam, every time there is something Allah has instructed you to do, he asks you to do it more than just once besides the Hajj. wherein he says,
while in La Jolla Island
GLBT many stoppa he sebelah Indeed Allah has made it incumbent upon the people to fulfill the Hajj, whosoever is able and capable to do it. And the explanation of it teaches us that the compulsion is only once in a lifetime. If you want to do it more than that and you're able and permitted, then it's okay. But the compulsory nature of it would only be once for those who can manage. However, if you look at prayer five times a day, every single day, you need a lot of discipline to fulfill that. So there must be a reason why Allah wants us to be disciplined, and fulfill it every day. Similarly, when Allah created the night and the day, he made it rotate, you can
do what you can with.
Allah causes the night to go into the day and the day to go into the night, when the night is long, the day becomes short. And when the day is long, the night becomes short, and so on. These are part of the creatures of Allah moving and rotating in a way that will help us as humankind to be disciplined. There is a night that will come this evening. And Allah says, He created night in order for you to recline and rest and day in order for you to work. So during the daylight, you can see more clearly, you are more well equipped to actually work hard. And at night, the bulk of us are resting besides those who have a night shift or those who are Gods sometimes, or those who are
perhaps taking care of something important at the time. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam says if you don't have something important to do go to bed recline, it's better for you, Maxim will tell you that the sleep of the first few hours of the night is far more enriching than the sleep later on. And this is why we do believe in the notion Early to bed early to rise, etc, etc, etc. It makes you healthy. I don't know about wealthy, but I do know wise.
Wealthy to my brothers and sisters, if you get up early in the morning and you're keen on going to work and working hard with that dedication, you become wealthy, meaning you will not be a lazy person, my brothers, my sisters, think about it for a moment. When you give your charities you are told to give them regularly The zecca is compulsory once a year every year, you have to calculate what you're worth on a regular basis, you are told to give out a daily sadaqa How is that?
This is something Allah wants from you discipline. Allah wants you to do it every day you get up in the morning, you make sure you are up. Because if you're not, then it's only you to blame. Do you know that man's body is created in a way that it becomes used to certain things that it has made itself used to Subhanallah it might sound strange, but that's exactly how it is. If you got yourself used to something, chances are, you're not going to be able to quit it in a long time, you will need power you will need conviction you will need to be really strong to get rid of something that you want to get rid of that you got yourself used to people say if he's clocked 40 and he still has the
bad habit, chances are he's not going to give it up I want to tell you that that's not true. If you have the willpower, you can give it up now. If you have the strength you can give it up now. No matter what the bad habit is you can give it up you need the willpower you need the help of Allah you need to replace it with something that is going to occupy you in a better way fulfilling those who are alcoholics for example, you can cut it now that's what it is. You don't need to say oh you know I'm addicted I but you will have to change your habits you will have to change so much. You might have to change your circle of friends, you will have to change perhaps your phone number. You
might even have to shift out of the area. If you're living in an area that is causing the problem. Sometimes you must identify the bad habit I have Is it because of the friends I have. Then you've got to change them. Is it because of where I live then you've got to move out of that Is it because of perhaps
My usage of the internet then cut it out or make sure that you let someone in whom you are whom you look up to
you let them into what to your usage of the net they can go in at any time and tell you my brother my sister don't do this similarly when we talk of company Do you know that sometimes your bad habits are there because those around you cheer you on? No we can do it No Let's just go it's just fun we'll just sit around Don't worry you can come and sit we will do all the sharing and whatever else it is in and you know what you can just sit around Subhan Allah but if you take a careful look, my brothers, my sisters, it starts off with sitting around and you tell yourself and your parents and whoever else did you know what I'm just sitting around and relaxing? But you don't realize
Subhanallah it's the beginning when shaytan wants to trap you. He has to use the similar concept that you use when you want to trap a rat. What do you do? You put cheese? Is cheese a good thing or a bad thing? It's a good thing Mashallah. And the innocent rat is coming close to the cheese isn't the rat innocence Subhana Allah, you might say No, man, it's been nibbling at my ceiling all these years. Mashallah. But to be honest, then when it comes to bite, it has to bite a little bit more. It's not you're trapped. Then when it gets greedy and takes a bigger chunk, and suddenly, boom, it's gone. What happens trapped and out. That's what shavon does to us. You go the first time with your
friends, you gone to the club, or you gone to the pub, or you gone to the casino or you've gone to whatever else it might be in a bad way, wasting time and so on. And they tell you don't worry, you don't have to you can remain in your head job or you can remain in whatever and you don't have to you just come and sit around that's it. We know that you are a little bit different and we know you're strict and Mashallah we admire you. Wow, we admire you. Now that you're admired you're gone in and what do you do you sit and you take it? Do you know that a passive smoker is worse than the active one?
Do you know that the person who's just lounging around sometimes is affected even more than those who are engaging in the crime itself. SubhanAllah and then what happens the next time you go by the time you enter a third time, it's a puff. Same concept as the cheese small little nibble, and then the puff starts feeling Oh, that wasn't too bad. Something tells you in you that is okay. Let me try a little bit more. It might give me a kick.
Brothers and sisters, it will give you a boot. That's what it will do. It will be booted out of your family, your marriage and everything else, your job and so much more. So forget about getting kicked you will be booted La hawla wala quwata illa Billah. It's important for us to be strong nip it in the bad, don't go and that's it. Change your friends, they're encouraging you in the wrong way. You need to make sure you have friends who take you to the masjid. We have COVID and Alhamdulillah restrictions have been lifted to a great degree. We must encourage everyone to come back to the masjid. We have to because people have now developed a habit What did I tell you at the beginning
when you get yourself used to something there comes a time when you're going to have to use that power and be convinced and use your energy and force yourself to do the right thing for a while and then it will be second nature Mashallah ask those who get up for Salah till fudger. If you used to getting up for Salah on fudger with your alarm clock the day you didn't set it for some reason, you will still be up five minutes before the alarm. And then there comes a time when even when you set that alarm five minutes before the alarm you up and you got to turn it off so it doesn't disturb everybody else. I see some of the brothers are smiling here because you know what I'm saying? That's
a plan of Allah. Your body is more sophisticated than any computer. Let's forget about 5g. It's about 20 g i think Subhan Allah, Allah grant us goodness, it's so complicated. Allah Almighty knows. That's the reason why he makes you do things every day. He says Get up before the sun rises next day, get up before the sunrise next day, get up before the sun rises the week later get up before the sun rises. A month later get up before the sun rises. When you're 50 years old, get up before the sun rises when you're about to die. Get up before the sun rises. Why did Allah say that discipline He wants you to do certain things you may know some reasons and you may never know the
other reasons but when you discipline yourself for the sake of Allah, you will lead a very contented life very happy, you will be the happiest person yet you've never touched a drunk yet you don't smoke or drink yet you don't have bad habits. But you are a happy, contented person. You know why you are focused on the right things in life. I'm focused on a job day in day out I will do that and I will enjoy it and I will make sure when I get my money, the salary I don't just blow it but I plan I budget and I make sure that first I pay my rental then I I pay for the food and drink and so on and my family members
And then I save a little bit if I can and Alhamdulillah rather than who today I got my first paycheck. So what are you doing with it? Oh, what did I do with it? You mean, now how La quwata illa Billah it's gone already. You haven't even told me about it and it's out. That is bad. You might have started that way. But don't let it be a habit.
a habit is something you got yourself into. I promise you don't blame someone else. For your bad habits. They are yours, you will have to work on your bad habits. No one else is going to be able to eradicate it, but they will either produce towards it or away from it. May Allah give us good friends so that we are prodded away from our bad habits. Work hard, replace it with something else, occupy your time by coming to the masjid by learning some lessons, be it online or elsewhere. When you waste your time, do you know a lot of us spend so much time nowadays on social media simply because of the Coronavirus that made us
stay indoors.
Now you've got your phone and you're just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. It becomes a disease. It's a disease. You keep scrolling because there's so much on them. Remember, there are billions of people on earth, if half of them are online, or half of them have posted online, on the social media. You're going to be occupied for a lifetime watching, watching. Watching then what happens, you sleep late every day. And every day you say to yourself, I'm going to sleep early. Tomorrow, tomorrow doesn't come. When you're in your grave, you can sleep forever Subhanallah every night, if you're a person who says I'm going to sleep early, and the next day you saying the same
thing. You have a problem. You have an addiction to something it is wrong. You must be disciplined turn off that phone at eight o'clock, nine o'clock, no matter what the world says it's okay, switch it off.
And you can turn it on at eight in the morning or seven. Are you prepared to do that?
I see people giving me the looks just as well you're wearing masks. Otherwise, you might even give me your tongues. May Allah forgive us. But it's a fact. We scroll every night. And then we want to get up early morning for fudger. And suddenly, you're running and rushing, you've either missed your father or you're very late for it or you couldn't be bothered. Now Hola, wala, quwata, illa Billah discipline, get rid of your bad habits, your life is very, very short, you might live for a few days, a few more days only, you can count those days, 300 days, 500 days, 1000 days, 5000 days, not more than that.
And in these little days I've got on earth few days that I've got here in this world, I must waste them in this type of thing with bad habits. I'm going to go back to meet with Allah, what did I do occupy your weekends with something good. join a club of people who are going to meet the poor, the widows, the orphans, perhaps the homeless, those who are going to feed others look after the sick, those are going to reach out Community Affairs, clean up, perhaps whatever else it may be, join them to do something constructive and see how you feel. When you have a whole lot of friends who think similar, you will really enjoy yourself, especially when you're doing good things. So be careful who
you mix with. From a young age, we have bad friends, those who are only interested in partying all day, every day. What is that? Do you really think that he's disciplined? Do you really think that that's what Allah requires of us? Do you really think that partying and drinking yourself drunk is actually going to bring you goodness and happiness and success in this world and the next? Not at all. If anything, go and study the people who are
partying in that way, they are all somehow unhappy.
And I'm just waiting it respectfully. They will have a problem. That's not the way to success. discipline yourself for the sake of Allah and watch your doors opening. Replaced something bad with the recitation of the Quran with the vicar of Allah. Repeat the names of Allah.
Repeat some of the words taught by the prophet sallallahu Sallam of praise of Allah, of praise of the messenger sallallahu sallam, send blessings and salutations upon him and see what it does to you sit down, think about it, say Oh Allah, I'm going to read this Quran for 10 minutes, then I'm going to engage in Salawat for another 10 minutes, and I'm going to do this for another 10 minutes. And then I'm going to make dua for another 10 minutes. And that's how I'm going to spend my day What's wrong with that? That is actually spending it in the right direction.
But if you don't set yourself a timetable, and you're not disciplined and you don't have a routine
How do you expect to pass in life or succeed
In life
let's deal with our bad habits. My brothers, my sisters again, look at anything when it comes to the Quran sirenas al hallel Morita, hello, you look at what the prophets of Salaam says the best of the people are those whom they recite the Quran regularly. And when they finish, they start again. When they finish, they start again. When they finish, they start again Subhana Allah, look at the sooner fasting every Monday every Thursday. So you're very focused on the week. And you are very aware of what day of the week it is because you know, it's a Monday, I'm going to be fasting. It's a Thursday, I'm going to be fasting and it comes back the following week and the following week and
the following week. Notice how it repeats because it once Allah wants you to tune yourself, you will know many of us don't even know it's a Friday, we've lost track of the days of the week. But those who are here for Salatu Juma a very early every Friday ask them they already know. They already know. Friday's coming tomorrow, they are up early. They are looking for the small piece of cotton wool that they put a little bit of ether on and slanted in their ears. Have you seen that happening? Allah grant has goodness I see the older people are smiling. That's what used to happen way back. That's not asuna by the way, is just the action of some of the older people that we witnessed when
we were growing up.
You remember those little pieces of Cotonou? Mashallah,
but those were the uncles who really took it serious how many of us, my beloved youth you need to take over? Those younger than you need to see you what you used to do and they need to learn from you come to the masjid and come and sit in the front and come early every day. Then you find all these little ones saying hey see that Toppy? They see that uncle they see that? Oh pa let's say they Subhana Allah that's what you're going to be called very soon they'll call you that. When I heard my
when I heard someone called me that old man I said who now we're all Subhana Allah. Now we're old. But that's that's how it is. What goodness do you have that people can take from you? Come on, you have to have it because you are part of the people on the earth who have to leave a legacy. The good habits Come on, you can do it.
How much are on how much they care how much of Salawat Allah nappy Do you do Subhana Allah or do you just pay lip service to it another thing my brothers and sisters one of the worst habits is the way we talk to each other cut out slang I promise you cut out slang try to avoid cheap language speak properly. Mashallah. Yes? maybe perhaps a few words here and there of laughter It's okay no problem but remember carry yourself respectfully swear words abusive words. That is a very bad habit and you know what? It goes down to your children and those whom you mix with you swear F's and Bs? They will come up with swear words you won't even know what these words mean. But these will be swear words of
the new generation Subhan Allah don't use bad words. Not at all. replace them with good words. That is the tongue of the Shahada. Don't use it for something evil. Don't hurt people's feelings with it. Today, we swear we lie. We deceive we cheat. We're abusive. And we think we're good Muslims just because of one or two things No, I'm a good man. Subhana Allah You're a good man. Mashallah, we're all good. But we all need to work on our habits myself included.
Another bad habit that people have is temper. People get angry for small things you're getting upset to Moscow not to mask vaccine or no vaccine relax. There are two opinions it's okay follow the one you believe is right. And love those who follow the other opinion what's the big deal? Your brother also your sister also it's okay. It's just an opinion the world won't come to an end because of your opinion please. No will it come to an end because of the opinion of another It's okay, relax. You're not the only person on earth they also have a brain they were created by Allah you can disagree and disagree strongly with them like I do. And Allah
and I'm not an anti vaxxer By the way,
but we love them we respect them it's okay it's one of those things I disagree very strongly but my brother I won't disrespect you. I won't abuse you I won't harm you. That's a bad habit that is dropping yourself lower and cheaper than you can imagine. Don't do that. It's okay. Continue to talk about what you believe is right in a positive way and you will see the change you will see people's lives changing continue to do good that's why the prophets of Salaam says hi Emily Medina la we're in. The best of deeds are those that are done regularly, even if they're a little
when you do something regularly, you know we learnt erosion when we were kids in geography at school, and they show you how a huge rock a boulder has a hole going straight through the center because of us.
Certain because of water that's dripping every year throughout most of the year from a certain point on to that rock, what happens? a droplet of water because it comes regularly and because it's there every day and because it's you know constant what happens it made a hole through the rock. If a droplet of water falling on a rock constantly can make a hole through the rock, trust me consistency in your ibadah will grant you entry into the door of jannatul firdaus and paradise.
Small things but every day, your door to paradise will open.
The Hadith says the best deeds are those that are regular even if it's a little that's why I tell you read a page a day read a verse a day that verse is more powerful than a droplet of water on rock for you and your Eman and your existence and your connection with Allah and it's very little no excuse you want to cut out a bad habit well you can chop it off now like I said, or you can decide right I'm actively going to cut down like I have a lot of friends who smoke for example.
The friend part is not the smoking part but the rest of it is my friend right? So
So Subhan Allah sometimes from studying abroad they will come and say you know what, because I'm so encouraged by what you said I'm down to five a day three a day I say oh Mashallah, that's really really good Mashallah, what amazing progress so you mean I can stay with those leads Okay, I did not comment about what you can stay with. I'm only acknowledging there was amazing progress. And if there is amazing progress, you know, and Allah knows where you stand, so Mashallah Have you progressed? Now I want to end off by telling you something very interesting.
In fact, I still have a little bit of time
when you have a bad habit say * say adultery extremely bad in the case of adultery major sin in the case of * minus and but it's still a sin. And I want to tell you something, when you have a bad habit of this nature, and you want to eradicate it, and you have told yourself no more, a day will come when you might slip up again, right? You might drop again because you know what, you're a human on that day. Don't think I blew it. That's it. Now I'm back to my old ways you're not, you're not back to your old ways. No. If you blew it one day, at least you did better. You used to do it every day before.
Now it happened today, but you're going to turn back to Allah immediately and say, You you seek forgiveness once again and you're not going to do it again. And you stop it so the gap between your falling would be bigger and bigger until a day will come when you will totally Stop it. You get the point shaitan makes you lose hope. So if you said right from today, I'm not going to commit the sin anymore. and a month later you drop shaytan says you see you back to where you were so then you you cheat on might make you say, well it's okay now I'm just gonna go back because you know what? I'm too weak and I just can't do this. No, you can. You can you will you shall and you must.
If you fell a month later.
Get up seek the forgiveness of Allah, you might fall six months later. How's the gap? Bigger? Is that an improvement? It's like smoking three cigarettes from 30 you see big improvement after that you might fall a year later. What happened? You must get up immediately and promise Allah that you're going to stop it and you're not going to do it again. That's the condition then you can eradicate that bad habit otherwise if you're going to give up every time you fall we all fall we all fall myself included. We are human beings, we will fall Allah wants you to be dedicated if you missed one Salah does it mean you must stop all your Salah? No, you might miss it. Even if you're
regular with your Salah you're a human being. The process Allah says you may sleep a little bit sometimes much and you might not realize that the time of Salah has crossed as soon as you get up fulfill your Salah.
Or you might suffer with forgetfulness at the time. It's possible you are busy doing something and you forgot.
That's a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. Manama Ancelotti, una sia ha Feliu salia. Either the Cara Ha. Whoever sleeps over a prayer or forgets a prayer should fulfill it or should do the Kava as soon as they remember as soon as they can. It's a simple Hadith. He didn't say that's a bad person, because you're a human but the point I'm raising is in the same way when you are trying to get rid of a bad habit you might falter somewhere down the line don't let that be a means of you giving up but rather get up and continue for longer without that bad habit. In the same way that if you were to miss a Salah you won't just throw in the towel and say no masala for me because I missed
one but rather you will make sure you do the cover you seek Allah
Forgiveness you continue further and you try your best not to miss a Salah perhaps yours will pass and you wouldn't have Mr. Salah May Allah keep us all strong
so these are some ways of eradicating your bad habits and remember your body gets tuned to something that you tune it to. So tune it towards Allah not away from Allah. If you have a habit of anything, be it weed or whatever you need to convert it to something good. start developing a habit of Tajweed and inshallah you will be okay. Right?
You need to change it with something, the Quran, I sit down sometimes I listen to recitals that people send me online on YouTube or elsewhere, have amazing boys and girls from across the globe whose recitation is so beautiful that you can listen all night and you'll still be Mashallah. Mashallah amazing. Beautiful. What about us? When you hear a good recital, pause it for a moment and try to repeat it. No matter who you are. You can be an old person only problem is if you smoke too much your throat might be a bit croaky, but that's okay. You can read beautifully Mashallah beautifully. Try and imitate it. Allah will be pleased with you. Imagine you're trying to read the
Quran I'm doing a good thing. It's okay. Have you tried it? read the Quran in a melodious voice. Try it. Because on the day of PM, Allah is going to ask you to read. You can't just look up and say you know what?
I can't you can. Have you memorized the portion of the Quran? The answer is yes, we all know Surah Al Fatiha, we know a few other suitors and so on. So on the day of Yama, you may be asked to read that what you're going to do, start reciting, practicing from now in a melodious voice. Because that Hadith says you will only be able to read the way you used to read on Earth. Some of us don't even read Quran, come on, you can change that habit, you know,
if you were to know what's going on, and I'm sure many of you do, if I know that I'm sure a lot of us here do. The amount of effort that our boys and girls and adults are putting into learning moves of your foot, and your hands and your head and the movement of your body just for Tick Tock the amount of effort that is being made to learn those moves in order to create a 32nd clips, you need 1% of the effort in order to become the most powerful reciter of Quran in the whole world.
Did you hear what I just said, and I'm not joking. If you know anyone of your relatives or you or anyone else who makes an effort to shake your body and to learn the moves of your legs, according to a certain sound of those who can believe they can fly and whatever else, you must remember one thing,
that effort you only need 1% of it to be one of the top recitals in the whole world of the Quran. Because the Quran is different from all of that, with the Quran, when you come towards it, it will come towards you even faster.
When you make an effort towards the word of Allah,
it will make an effort towards you. You know why?
Because that's Allah's column, that's Allah. And Allah tells us, if you want to come towards me, I'll rush towards you, you come towards me a foot I come towards you more you come towards me walking, I come towards you rushing, that's Allah, make an effort with it.
Imagine the amount of effort and I promise you whenever I hear of it, or even see it in passing, I tell myself, Oh, Allah, guide this room and guide all of us to channel our efforts in the right direction. Every day, we create videos to put on Tick Tock and to put on here in order to let people look at something and in order for it to be liked and viewed in a way that it's negative, I think we can do the positive ones inshallah, all of us, you can use your social media in order to earn paradise, not in order to go the other way. So May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy, I think I've covered a lot of bad habits. And I think I've also tried to mention how best we could eradicate
these habits and get ourselves used to the right things. Allah created us in a way that you will just keep on going and be happy with it and be excited and remember, you won't become famous overnight. We're not doing things to become famous. The fame and the true fame is when the angels carry your deeds every day into the heavens, and then you're famous of the whose deeds are these Well, this man or this woman, or whoever it may be, then you're truly famous. Even if you are unknown on Earth, you're a successful person. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the goodness of this world and the next May Allah protect myself from bad habits and helped me to eradicate my own
bad habits and helped me to focus on the right things and strengthen me in order to do the right things and with me, all of us are co located
hatha sallallahu wasallam obata Carla Nabina