Mufti Menk – How Should You Deal With People Who Do Nasty Things

So we work on our qualities. We need

to have, we need to have a feeling

towards others, a positive feeling. Sometimes people do

negative things to you, really, really nasty things.

And

I want to take a moment to address

that today.

People do nasty things. How should you,

how should you process that? Number 1, protect

yourself from that.

So you don't need to keep on, you

know, being in the company of those who

are really causing harm to you. If you

can help them and you're a mentor or

you're a teacher or you're a person who's

trained to help others or you think you

can, by all means keep on interacting and

help them. And help them to come out

of it. That is level 1. That is

the top of all, if you are and

you can.

To a degree

now, I can.

I don't mind interacting with haters.

I really don't mind. But

there's a point because we are human beings,

it starts affecting us.

And it bothers you. And it starts affecting

your health.

At that juncture you need to know,

together with seeking the protection

of Allah from this type of

behavior and these type of people,

you need to step back. Because a believer

is not bitten from the same direction twice.

Why should I keep on hearing someone saying,

you're stupid. You're stupid. And they look at

you, you are stupid. And they keep looking

at you and you're stupid. And you just

say,

tolerating, I'm a good Muslim.

You'll start believing that.

That's why we're taught not to tell our

children such words. Don't ever belittle your kids,

they start believing those words.

They really start believing those words.

So don't say that. Say good things to

your kids. Empower them if you want to

correct them. Correct them by all means you

must, it's your duty but respectfully.

That's what we are taught.

So you take a step back

and there comes a time when you can

cut a relationship because of how

toxic it has become.

What they're saying to me, the harm that

is reaching me is unbearable.

It's affecting my relation with Allah, my mind,

my health. I can't sleep at night and

so on. But

when you go back to Allah, it will

help you remedy it where you start realizing,

you know what? That person's not in the

equation.

It's me and Allah.