Mufti Menk – Finding Healing & Hope – Overcoming Pain, Doubt, and Despair

			Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
		

			Bismillah Alhamdulillah he was Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah heywire Allah Allah He was happy here
Jermaine.
		

			When Abdullah aid says healing the Ummah it means it.
		

			I've been with Abdullah aid for many years now and I visited quite a few countries and seen the
delivery of the aid
		

			your contributions tonight, you've already contributed by merely purchasing a ticket. So I want to
thank you for that. And I want to let you know that Abdullah aid is serious when it comes to
delivering your aid to the rest of the Ummah that is bleeding.
		

			I've been to areas where I've witnessed the bleeding of members of the Ummah and I've been in pain
but comforted by the fact that I know you would reach out because you feel part of the ummah. So
when we say healing the Ummah, who exactly is the Ummah, the Ummah, of those who share a statement
and believe it, that statement is La ilaha illallah who Muhammad Rasool Allah, there is none worthy
of worship besides Allah, and Muhammad peace be upon him is his messenger.
		

			The minute a person declares this, they become a member of the Ummah, my brother, my sister, the
feeling for entire humanity is there. In fact, the feeling for all the creatures of Allah is there,
including the birds, the dogs, the pigs, the cows, the sheep, the goats, the insects, the ants, we
definitely are taught to be kind to all animals. More than animals were taught to be kind to
humankind. When the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him tells us that whoever doesn't show mercy will
not be shown mercy. And in another narration, Allah Almighty is letting us know through the
blessings lips of Nabi Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that those who have mercy upon those on
		

			earth, the one in the skies or in the heaven will have mercy on them. To be honest with you, it
shows us how important it is to help heal everyone. But members of the Ummah hold a special place in
the hearts of fellow members of the ummah.
		

			So when I see my brothers and sisters in pain in Palestine, I am in pain. I don't believe that there
is a Muslim, who is not in pain to witness the genocide, the atrocities, the unacceptable acts of
aggression perpetrated against our brothers and sisters, in Palestine, I don't believe there is a
Muslim who is not hurt by that. I don't believe there is a Muslim who does not feel that something
needs to be done. But each one of us has a different capacity. Rather than playing a blame game that
shaytan wants us to play. By looking at each other and thinking this guy could have done more and
should have done more without realizing the other fingers are actually pointing back at you to say
		

			you do what you can and leave the others to do what they can based on their understanding their
capacity, and so on. If you want to encourage others, then do so that's the reason why we have
tonight.
		

			But don't point fingers in a way that you are creating a bigger problem in the OMA, I know that
every single one of you cares for Palestine. And I know that you don't only care for Palestine but
rather for a list of names of countries that sometimes is exhausting. And sometimes places within
countries that are generally peaceful without a problem, people would suspect but there are pockets
of people within nations that are sometimes advanced. Even within the UK, there are people
struggling and suffering as I'm speaking and might not right. What are you doing for them? The
reality is I may not be able to do that much for them. But I have two guarantees. The first
		

			guarantee is I will not harm them, which means the pain they have is not going to come from me pause
for a moment before we get to the second guarantee and ask yourself Do I cause pain in the life of
any
		

			one else? If the answer is yes, then you have a lot of work to do. Do you cause pain to someone
else? Perhaps someone living with you, someone working with you, someone, above you, below you in
authority in financial standing, or whatever else it may be? Do you hurt people? Do you cause pain?
Well, I can tell you what if you cause pain, pain shall be caused upon you or to you as well. It
will come back at some point, it's the Promise of Allah, you do and it shall be done. If not today,
then after 10 years. So what's the way out? Because I've given the punch. And I'm expecting a punch
after 10 years, perhaps a bigger punch. But now I regret before being punched. What should I do?
		

			Well, I need to make amends by seeking the forgiveness of Allah by reaching out to the person if I
can and saying I'm sorry. And sometimes if you're too shy to say, I'm sorry for what I did, you can
just say Salam aleikum, you know, we're going for hamre please forgive me for everything I said, or
did that may have hurt you or caused pain and so it's a general blanket seeking of forgiveness, it
could happen. And sometimes you may not have access to that person. And that's the worst type of
harm you could have inflicted another when you don't even have access to the person you barely know
them in the age of social media. This is happening a lot where you said something you retweeted
		

			something you reposted something that was hurtful and harmful against a person you don't even know
you may never ever know in your life, how are you going to make amends with that type of a person
when you don't even know them, you don't have access to them, but you have a debt that you owe them.
Basically, that's very dangerous. So in this day and age, more and more people are losing their good
deeds or swerving towards the devil, just by simply tapping on their phone sitting at night,
sometimes in the comfort of their bedding half asleep, and they busy retreating, saying things to
crack a joke about someone that's going to hurt them so badly, or to pass negative information. When
		

			that happens, you may have to resort to praying for them, asking Allah to forgive them, asking Allah
to bless them, give a charity on their behalf, do a good deed maybe on their behalf. And ask Allah
to forgive you as well for what you did, and then undo what you did to the best of your capacity.
Best of your capacity means What exactly did you say? What exactly did you do? Okay, you don't have
access to them. So are you prepared to say good things? Are you prepared to clarify in public or at
least start reversing what you did, in that particular instance, you would be from among those who
is conscious about not inflicting pain on others? What's the point of talking about the pain of the
		

			OMA in order to help it heal when you are the one causing pain to your own daughter in law, to your
mother in law, perhaps and mothers in law are lovely people by the way, it's just that sometimes
there's a stigma attached to that name. And therefore, as soon as we enter the territory, where we
now have a mother in law, we have public enemy number one, just by virtue of them having the title
it's not fair. I know some amazing mothers in law by the way, I'm a father in law. So you can
imagine, you can imagine, it doesn't make people bad, but do you inflict pain on them by what you
say by what you do, or the other way around or your own children or your parents or whoever else it
		

			may be? Today is the day you want to heal the Ummah, stop the pain, the ummah will heal, it will
begin to heal by the will of Allah subhanahu wa taala. So that was the first guarantee you have is I
will not harm you.
		

			The first guarantee is, I'm not going to be able to harm meaning you won't be harmed from me, not
me. The second guarantee is my brother, my sister, no matter who you are, and where you are, I will
try my best to assist you. Given the capacity Allah has given me I'm going to try my best to help
you. That's my guarantee.
		

			You're a random person to me, you're a member of the Ummah I care for you. You might we might not
talk to each other, you might pass I might pass, but I tell you if something happens to you, and I
know about it, and I'm present or even in my absence, I've heard about it Wallah, he's gonna pain me
number one. Number two, I will be the first one to rush to your assistance by the will of Allah
because you're closer to me, than the rest of humankind. Although if it happened to any human being,
I would still be hurt and I would still try to reach out but you're even closer. Like your own child
when something happens to them. You reach out to them more than you would
		

			other people's children.
		

			May Allah help us. So these are some of the stepping stones towards seeing the Ummah heal. I told
you the amount of hours of uttered the statement
		

			And then the Ummah, what happens is shaytan comes to us and makes us think that you know what this
person believes slightly differently from you, this person has a share who's like this, and that
person goes to that mosque, and this person goes to this masjid and that person says in that halacha
so therefore we are different and we they, they create segments in order to fragment us to the
degree that the Ummah can never heal. Wallahi if we were united, our brothers and sisters would
never have suffered in Palestine the way they did, it wouldn't have happened. If we were all
together as an ummah, the mere fact that we have 2 billion people, nobody would dare touch anyone,
		

			but the fact that they know we are fragmented, or they make it their business to fragment us. In
some cases, they know these people are weak, slapped one the others will just look on and say stuff
Rula if they care, and Alhamdulillah if they don't,
		

			how many times have people in the Ummah been hurt? And because you didn't get along with them, you
said mashallah, they deserved it. Am I right?
		

			Am I right?
		

			See, the yeses came from you. I thought you'd have kept quiet even the second time. But the fact
that you said yes, you know what I'm going on about, we need to heal, we need to help heal. It's
okay. Even though I have a difference with you. I'm not going to pray for your downfall. Or I'm not
going to pray when you get hurt and thank Allah but rather I'm going to say Oh Allah, I have a
difference. Help squash it help. eradicate it helped bring us closer together, help resolve our
matters, that's healing the ummah. Do you think healing the trauma is when I don't get along with
you? I'm excited about you being hurt by a third party that will not heal the trauma, because then
		

			when you're hurt to the same third party will also be excited. How did you heal the Ummah, at
Abdullah aid, we don't differentiate between the people, we help anyone and everyone who needs that
help. If they need the help, we are there. If we can, and we know about it, we're able and capable,
and it's within whatever we've set out to do. It is done by the will of Allah within our capacity.
And this reflects the true believer who is supposed to be concerned about solving problems, helping
people assisting them, he'll give them a better life, A Better bedding, a better home a better place
to live, and to eat, and to educate themselves, provide them with better opportunities for their
		

			future. That's what Abdullah aid is all about. We want to see the future brighter than what we are
witnessing today. We feel embarrassed that there are people who are struggling in our midst, and
there is very limited things that we can do for them. That's embarrassing. Unfortunately, we're in
the situation. I would love to see an end to every war there is. But some might say that's just
fantasy. I'm going to work towards it. I'm going to keep reminding people, you don't have to slap
someone because you disagree with them. Be just be fair.
		

			You have a difference. You may want to step back a little bit, but wish well for your brothers and
sisters. Where's your heart? Where is your heart? I don't want to associate with you anymore because
you've beaten me more than once. But low key I'm going to pray that Allah bless you, Allahu Akbar,
Allahu Akbar. That's amazing. Are you feeling what I'm feeling? I've seen people make mistakes
online public figures. And I've seen chefs and scholars say, that's the end, cancel them. It's over.
That's it, they cannot come up again. And I think differently. I'm a father.
		

			I'm a grandfather to I think differently. And I think if this was my child, is it fair to cancel
them because of two mistakes they've made? Let me reach out to this person and see what might have
bothered them. Perhaps Let me see how best I can bring them back on track. Wouldn't you like that
for your child? If your child were on drugs, May Allah help all the children who are on drugs and
the adults to come out of these bad habits? Let the Ummah heal. Make dua for them. You see a child
on drugs, You're quick to pass bad comments about the children of others who have an addiction, not
realizing that if it were to happen to you, you will deal with it differently. And you would really
		

			not want others to comment negatively about your child who's addicted to something terrible. So
can't you treat them like your own children, that's when the ummah will heal. So when I see someone
I'd like to work with them, you have your own child, wouldn't you like people to give your child a
chance? Wouldn't you like to take your child from one place to another to see how best they can be
re introduced or integrated back into society and community and attend the masjid and attend the
talks and and be a a beautiful member of the community who will contribute positively to their
families communities and build the ark era in the process. We'd like to see that so go easy on
		

			others when you don't like
		

			Someone you can step back. You can step back, I don't need to associate with you. But guess what? I
won't let that hate get to the degree that you've let it get to. You're not going to see me making
public refutations about X, Y and Zed because you know what? It's okay. I won't let the hate As
tempting as it is, get to the level that yours got to because you're a member of the Ummah, May
Allah help the Ummah heal.
		

			I want to have a heart made of gold where I can pray. That doesn't mean I'm not going to protect
myself from harm. No, the Hadith says a true believer is never bitten from the same source. Twice.
Never. What that means and button, I'm going to step back, I'm going to put a protection mechanism.
I don't want to talk to you actually. But I'm not going to harm you. I just want to talk to you say
if you're irritated by me not talking to you, thank Allah, I haven't raised my hands to say oh Allah
destroy them. You know what happens in the small things that we say, oh, Allah cater for Jude and
say, Allah, break him, destroy them, finish them, and you won't believe it. It's possible at the
		

			same moment, the same person is making the same dua at the same time to the same Lord against you.
In almost similar words.
		

			How is the OMA going to heal? If Allah had to give both of those people their dua, what's going to
happen to us? I'm finished, they're finished. But Allah knows in His mercy, He only does what is
fair and just someone asked me, you know, my mother curses me a lot. My beloved mothers and fathers
don't ever curse your children, no matter what. Don't ever curse your children, even jokingly don't
ever when they do something that upsets you don't curse them because if that's a moment of
acceptance of dua, you're dead.
		

			You rather say a good dua, you're a mother, you're a father, you're a relative Don't say a bad to
your son or your daughter did something really nasty say Oh Allah, soften their heart, bring them
back, let them understand let them realize it might take four years for them to realize but they'll
come back after four years because of a dua you made four years back.
		

			But if you say compare Lana tau as they always say, what's that for? In order to do that means you
know you're cursed me the curse of Allah be on you. Why did you say that? You're cursing your own
child? Do you know that your DUA has value in the eyes of Allah. So anyway, the person asked that my
mother curses me a lot. And I said, You know what Allah says in the Quran, Allah He can macro say
you Ellerbee li
		

			the evil plot is not deserved by anyone besides who, those who truly deserve it. If you don't
deserve that curse, it's not going to come to you. It won't affect you. Even if it's your mother or
your father. It won't, but it will bother them. Unfortunately, not you. So don't allow that to
happen. We are trying to heal the OMA Are you noticing how we're speaking International, but we
starting with the solution from our own hearts. Because if you don't have that heart, you're going
to see the people suffering Palestine and you're gonna say, Oh, those people are Sunnis, and they
belong to a certain sect and therefore we don't need to help them. What did you just say? What did
		

			you just say? The Ummah needs to heal? Are they not members of the Ummah, are they not part of la
ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasool Allah, I'm not downplaying differences of opinion we have we will
always have them we will study we will talk about it we will discuss we will provide evidence we
will learn we will change wherever change is needed, but bottom line, they are members of the Ummah,
they are part of the Ummah, I promise you they are if someone tells you otherwise they've
brainwashed you,
		

			they are part of the ummah. That doesn't mean I agree with everything they did. They have entered
the door. Now when we've entered the door, known as I am a part of the Ummah, we have differences,
we know the differences, but you can't take them out and say you're no longer part of the Ummah just
because of this difference and you have this shape and that shape. Be careful because these are some
of the traps of shaytan we shade on once us to be fragmented because Allah says we're Allah Turner's
deaf Shannon, whatever berry Hong Kong, do not dispute amongst yourselves because you will be
unsuccessful and you will lose your might. That hubba Realcomm you re Re is referring to the mind
		

			the power, your mind will be gone because you're disputing fighting with one another. The Quran says
that so what's the solution immediately after that Allah says was Biru in Allah hummus sobbing, be
patient Allah is with those who bear patients. Be patient go easy, go easy, go easy on yourself.
When when you've done something wrong and you repent to Allah be convinced he's forgiven you.
Shaytan strap is he tries to say no, he didn't forgive you and you start thinking what I did was so
evil. I don't think Allah is going to forgive me
		

			All those thoughts are the devil's plot.
		

			You committed a sin. I don't care what it is. You asked Allah's forgiveness. That is what's of
importance. When you ask Allah's forgiveness, be convinced in your heart, Allah has forgiven me. Let
me move on Allahu Akbar, you're a human. I draw comfort by the fact that Adam Alayhis Salam,
		

			the first of our species was told by Allah not to do certain things a few days ago, my son asks me,
you know what? Someone asks, what's the reason that Allah created pigs? If pigs are haram?
		

			Good question, right? Why is it haram? I said, Allah wants to test you addition and subtraction.
That's a simple answer. But you know what, he will do things that okay, you can have this and you
cannot have this. He wants to see. Are you going to do this? For my sake? And are you going to
abstain from this for my sake. So he's testing you both sides? When you go to a mathematics test,
they're not going to teach you they're not going to ask you addition, addition only but division and
subtraction is part of mathematics. Why do they teach you subtraction? If you're, you know, if
you're learning mathematics, well, because you need to know it. Same applies. When Allah says
		

			something, do something, you get a reward for doing it. He wants to reward you for not doing
something so he tells you, right, I'm going to make certain things and I'm going to tell you don't
do this. They're going to be there. You achieve a different Joy spiritually, when you abstain from
things Allah has told you not to do, there is a different type of a blessing that you achieve growth
of a different nature altogether. So Subhan Allah Allah has made the pig not for you to be unkind or
abusive or hurtful towards the pig, but rather to abstain respectfully, I'm not going to associate
and eat the meat of and so on, but I'm not just going to go around and throw stones at pigs, not at
		

			all. I'm not going to be unkind to the pigs, not at all. So Allah Almighty wants us to do certain
things and not to do certain things. That's the test. May Allah Almighty grant us goodness in our
lives. Many times we have instances where there are things that we are not supposed to do that
dangle right in front of us. So tempting. Allah says, I'll reward you when you don't do these
things. So shaytan when you seek forgiveness has a job. His job is to make you lose hope in the
Mercy of Allah, Allah tells you don't lose hope in my mercy. I forgiven you. So what do you do you
move on? I was saying Adam Alayhis Salam, Allah told him not to eat from the tree.
		

			Anything else Allah told him not to do?
		

			Anyone knows anything else that Allah told Adam Alayhis Salam and Hawa not to do?
		

			Anyone? That was the main thing, and perhaps the only thing Allah says, do whatever you want, eat
whatever you want, but don't eat from don't go close to the street. What did he do?
		

			What did he do?
		

			He ate from the tree. The only thing Allah told him not to do that's what he did.
		

			We are the children of the same man.
		

			We follow. Allah tells you not to do things, you may end up doing it. Why did Allah choose that Adam
Alayhis Salam would do the only thing that he was told not to do? Is Allah wanted to teach us a
lesson that as soon as he did it, he regretted it, he realized shaytans trap, he sought forgiveness.
And Allah says, I forgave him, I forgave him.
		

			So Allah says Now all of you, the children, which means all of us here, we want you to know that
this is how we operate. If you end up doing something that's displeasing to Allah regretted seek the
forgiveness turn back to Allah understand the plight of the devil we forgive you That's it gone
wiped out. Don't lose hope and inshallah we grow in this way. You know, I could go on and on and on.
		

			But
		

			just in case brother Omar, just in case the internet still doesn't work. I'm going to steal a little
bit of the time of the quiz is it okay
		

			you show mashallah I hear a loud yes on the right.
		

			The quizzes a very nice thing. It's really amazing. I enjoy it all the time. Should I still carry
on?
		

			Okay, all right, there we go. So I tell you what, my beloved sisters and my brothers we can we can
not just for Palestine like I said, but there are people struggling in Sudan right now. Unbelievable
what's happening there warfare avoidable but unfortunately it's happened. It's taken Sudan to the
stone age if you know Sudanese are embarrassed because they don't even believe what's going on in
their own country. The same thing applies in so many other countries. We have then people who are
struggling with disaster up
		

			On disasters so much more. There are people who are struggling in India, Indonesia, people
struggling in Afghanistan and in Pakistan in parts of different countries in Morocco, still the
people who are affected by the earthquakes and the floods in Libya, some places we have no access
to. Some places we have no access to. It's either too dangerous or it's disallowed for us to work in
those places we won't be able to do it will expect others who are able to do it to do it on our on
our behalf as an ummah.
		

			But to be honest with you, wherever we can we reach out to them.
		

			Wouldn't you like to reach out to those who live with you?
		

			Goodness, a good word. I would invite you to a beautiful invitation that will change your life.
		

			This is an invitation to tell you my sister's my brother's promise that you're going to say at least
10 good sentences
		

			to those whom you live with every day.
		

			Promise that you're going to say 10 Good sentences. Wow. Mashallah, you looking so good today? Who
did you say to your own spouse, they'll probably say you've never said that to me in 20 years. What
happened today?
		

			They're waiting to heal. Those are statements that will help them heal. It will bring your family
together, it will bring your relative when we have negatives, we always say it. When we have
positives we keep it in. We won't help the UMA hill
		

			we make the promise.
		

			Sisters have all said yes. The brothers are just looking at me. We make the promise.
		

			How many good sentences 10 Okay, did you hear that? Inshallah 10 good sentences everyday to those
whom you live with whoever they may be your children, your in laws, your outlaws wherever they are,
inshallah you say some good words to them good sentences. You know, mashallah, I'm so happy. You
know, and so whatever, you know what it is right? And the I love yous and so on, need to go to the
right people, by the way.
		

			Because if you're living in with you're
		

			not so hello person, then you need to know that those sentences don't really apply.
		

			But nonetheless, what I want to say to you is, if it's not 10, at least start with a few. By the
will of Allah, it will change your life. I guarantee you why, in some of the therapy sessions that I
have, I've always suggested this type of thing. And I tried to follow up later, say, did you do
this? And when they ultimately say, Well, now I started it since you asked me three, four times,
initially, they don't like to start it. Every single one of them says it has had a positive impact.
Some say unimaginable, unbelievable, and some admit that at least it's positive. You have to say a
good thing come on, who are they going to hear it from your children, some fathers are such that
		

			they've never told their daughters mashallah, you looking so beautiful, you know that I love just
looking at you men, they've never said it to their daughters. And when I told one elderly man,
you've got to say this is no not my generation. I said but Allah has kept you alive in this
generation. So you got to do it for them. Because uncle if they don't hear you saying it, you know
what the similar uncle next door saying it every day.
		

			May Allah forgive us. So inshallah we help the Ummah heal by starting with our families, and then it
grows, you don't realize that today,
		

			you've actually helped people in need in places, you may not know
		

			how, by merely buying a ticket to come to this venue, I know you're probably going to have food and
whatever else that might even go beyond that amount you may have given or just about them.
Nonetheless, you've supported the course, in a huge way. So I want to thank you for attending this
evening. And for literally sit sitting with us. And for listening, checking, you can pass the word
to others and you can also reach into your pockets or your phones. You know, nowadays we no longer
have pockets, we have everything on the phone, and you can give a little bit to our brothers and
sisters who are struggling, it will also help them heal. And with that healing, we've spoken about a
		

			few other pointers that would also allow the Ummah to heal by the will of Allah. Remember, your
heart is a human heart. It's not an angel. You're a human, you have feelings, you feel hurt at
times, you feel let down at times, but try to empower others. I get the energy whenever I have to
stand up to empower others. I forget about everything happening to me and that's the reason why I
think I'm quite a forgiving person. Who wouldn't mind someone messaged me say please forgive me. I
said something bad about you? I replied saying forgiven. And by the way, if you ever need to
		

			say something bad about me again, you can do it.
		

			They must have been shocked. Why? Because you know what? You don't butter my bread in the least
nothing of what you say or do even bothers me. It actually would bother you, not me, I know what I'm
doing. And I know why I'm doing it. Your validation or the lack of it doesn't really bother me. So
don't worry, you might not have that particular level because I'm a public figure, I get bashed,
bashed, and I look at it and I feel sorry for the people doing the bashing, because if they knew
what we're busy doing while they're bashing, they would actually be jealous. So it's okay. But
you're not public figures and some some of you might be but most of you are probably not public
		

			figures. So you don't know how it feels to be bashed. And you don't know how it feels sometimes to
have people say very negative things about you, the little that you might be going through trust me,
it's very forgivable. You just have to find it in your heart. It's okay. If it's really bothering
you and your life might be a little bit different. But don't ever deal with it in a way that will
cause more pain in the situation. May Allah Almighty grant us a good healing. I spoken for half an
hour of added about 10 minutes Masha Allah, may Allah Almighty bless you all I've really enjoyed
this evening so much. I think it's the warmth of the company, the brothers doing the sound, I want
		

			to thank you, the brothers of the venue, I really want to appreciate it. Remember, if the if the
Internet didn't work in this particular place, there must be a good reason for it. I'm not going to
add more pain to my heart to start thinking negative things. But I am going to say hamdulillah at
least we got a few more minutes squeezed in of my talk is that Kamala Farah Kudo, Kohli had Salam
aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.