Mufti Menk – Finally! Freshly Grounded with and Faisal Choudhry – Episode #212
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of balancing engagement and calmness in response to unexpected situations, as anger can damage things and lead to negative behavior. They also discuss the challenges of parenting and fatherhood, and the trend of mental health and productivity in the United States. The speakers emphasize the importance of taking responsibility and love each other, as small habits can be made small and avoid risk. They also emphasize the benefits of social interaction, including a sense of belonging and healing, and emphasize the need for everyone to take responsibility and love each other.
AI: Summary ©
Hey guys, thank you for checking out this episode we'd love your support by heading to patreon.com forward slash freshly grounded, it really does make a difference in helping us continue making this content and if not, no stress, enjoy. Do you want to learn the language of the Quran? In fact, scratched that list again. Let's face it, we all want to learn Arabic. A few short months ago we hosted an episode of freshly grounded widow status Mary viewmont. A graduate in the Faculty of howdy from Medina University was that is Mary has now put together a course that goes through Medina books One, two and three, which takes a person from pretty much no knowledge of the Arabic language to
hopefully speaking and understanding the language. The course is online and available now via the link in our description. If you use the code freshly grounded, you get 20% off all courses. And now we've one of our most sought after guests. Mufti menk Welcome to Episode 212 of freshly grounded and welcome to Freshly grounded the brand new podcast the brand new anymore is it
what works welcome to Freshly grounded, the
pod costs spinner created by best friends phrase when
I broke it I said welcome to Freshly grounded.
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best friends phase one sad Really?
Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu brothers and sisters and Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu Mufti mink
freshly grounded Mashallah
for joining me, Mufti is an absolute pleasure to have you on here.
The pleasure is mine. Like I always say, this has happened a long time back, but no problem. Easy today, and shall Alhamdulillah for the brothers and sisters watching live, we are live and so we will do our best to ensure that no technical kind of mishaps happen. But please do bear with us if anything does happen. We are keeping an eye on the chat as well. So in short, I do communicate with us and we will try our best to get some messages or opportunity if and when possible. Now Mufti, I wanted to start a podcast by breaking the ice a little as your first time on freshly grounded, so I thought what better way to do this then to ask you some deep hard hitting questions from our freshly
grounded game, which I have right behind us.
So it's a sales conversation cards essentially, right? And these conversation cards are meant to build a bond and a connection between loved ones and and increase your kind of
improve your relationship with each other and so on and so forth to help you reflect. So I'm just going to go in and, and start the podcast in the deep end.
Okay.
So some of the questions are perhaps a bit deeper and others may be really, really kind of soft and friendly and light hearted. So you'll inshallah, get a mix ruler. We'll go with about five to begin this episode, and maybe pick some as we go along, when we're discussing things. So here we go. Mufti menk. Question number one.
Describe your ultimate cheat meal and
my ultimate cheat meal. Yes. Are you still doing that? You mentioned before that you're like, you eat very, very little in a day if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, eat once a day. Generally one good meal a day. That's it. I have a snack in the morning and evening. Yeah.
So what's the what's the ultimate cheat meal?
When you say ultimate, you mean like best I would like you know, very good chicken burger with some extra crispy chips.
Fine. Okay. chicken burger and chips, man.
Okay, most of you getting some, some feedback on
some people saying there's a bit of an echo. I don't know if I've got
if I don't if I'm quite loud on your speakers, perhaps.
I think you're right on my speakers, but it's just the surroundings. I mean, you might have a little bit of an echo. diskless could do with it. It would be okay. If they cannot hear then we will make changes in Sharla. Fine. Okay, fine. Let's carry on. Let's go to the next question. Then. The next question, okay. Name one thing you love about the way you've been raised.
The discipline that we've had and the love for everyone that was ingrained in us. It might be two things but it's part of the discipline as well. So the discipline will start
Really, really amazing. I miss it. Actually, not.
Everything was supposed to happen in a certain way. And that's it. No compromise.
Doesn't happen nowadays with my own children, but it happened with me.
How can one new father a fairly new father myself, how can you balance the discipline and the love? They seem like polar opposites? Almost?
Yeah, I think it's become more of a communication change with children, where my own children the way I communicate with them, it has to be very engaging, very hands on very open, very, very clear, and very loving, making the love No Bye, bye. Bye every way you can yet explaining what the limits are and thinking of means of punishing a child that are understandable to the child with, for example, something that is very appropriate for this day and age, you can have a naughty corner you can have taking away something they really liked for a period of time as a set punishment, depending on what
they do the matter at hand is fine. Okay.
We'll go We'll go. We'll move on swiftly to the next question. before we delve into this.
This is a this is also a good one, because it reminds me of something that you mentioned again in a talk once. So the question is, what's your routine when you're angry? Now I remember from one of your talks that you mentioned, surprisingly, that you used to be someone who would get very angry, which takes me by surprise. So what's your routine when you're angry?
Well, I think I've worked very, very hard over the years, perhaps the way I came across it, that video made people think I was a man with a temper. It wasn't that bad. But yes, we were I was, you know, a person would get angry nowadays. I think it's very difficult to make me angry. And I would just smile and perhaps look at them. The thing is, you don't need to happen my way for a long, long time. You know, I don't need to actually fight over something that I want my way. I'm okay to give it up, especially if it's not something very important. And I've worked on it. I've tried to learn to look at what another person is saying, and why they're saying it, why they're feeling the way
they're feeling, why they're reacting the way they're reacting, and navigate through that in a way that keeps you calm, you know. So even if someone gives you hate, and someone gives you something unacceptable, you may want to respond, but there will always be a sense of calmness in the way you reply, because you will understand the misconception that person might have, perhaps about you or about the situation being dealt with. And how did that and even if it comes to children, or someone breaking in is damaging things, something going extremely, you know, wrong.
You start thinking to yourself, your temper is not going to actually make it better. It's going to make it worse. So calm down. And what inspired me also is the tall one young man, when he asks for advice, and it's something amazing. If you get a moment with the process, what would you say? I mean, people would wonder what exactly they say to the process. If they went to meet him, just for a few minutes, this young man decided I'm gonna ask him, give me some good advice. He said, Don't get angry. I mean, if someone told me that with a weak mind that I have, I might think Listen, I need more than this, you know? So the young man said, Look, I need more. He said Don't get angry. He
said, Well, I need a bit more than that. He said Don't get angry. And he repeated that inspires me so much. because it teaches me that you know, this aspect of anger it actually destroys you when when you are angry. So Calm down, work on it, make sure that those around you appreciate you and you appreciate that.
How much of how important is it for us to kind of like take a step back when
when we want to react and just like, like you said, kind of remain silent. Remain calm for a second to get level headed again.
That's very important. You should actually
depending on how angry you are, I know some people might say, Well, look, I'm I become angry because of the platform against the law. And I agree with that, but we get angry, but the way we react should always be very, very well thought out. So I'm not saying don't get angry, if something blasphemy is happening against
all Allah subhanho wa Taala. But we get angry, we are hurt. But how we react, it's something we should always think about before we actually react. So you can see if you're very angry, you can. You can even count 30 Keep quiet. Don't think about what you want to say how you want to react to this. And sometimes what I've learned is people tend to know that they're going to make us angry for a reason. And when
We get angry, they will have us when they want us. And we will react in a very unacceptable way. Perhaps hooliganism, whatever else it may be to vindicate what they've been saying about us for too long. And unfortunately, we still fall in the same trap a lot of the time. So it's important for us to think about that and not fall into that trap, and just be coddled, when you when you have to react, you will react in a beautiful, calm way that would be appealing to your opponent.
We're gonna, we're gonna crack open another another question here, we'll go for the last two, and then we'll open up the discussion. So I'm enjoying getting to know him after you make here. This is a good one, when I think of meeting a law, I feel finished the sentence when I think of meeting a lot, I feel
very, very excited.
To be
here believe is going to be my best day ever, ever, ever. If anything lovely has happened to you in this world, the best thing ever that's going to happen to you is the day that you meet with Allah unconvinced about it. I've heard he's all for him Forgiving, Merciful, kind of, you know, absolutely amazing, the creator of creation that we are in awe of, you know, you look at the creation, and you say, Whoa, so proud.
pondering over the creation of the heavens and the earth and all the creation. But there is silence with those with some of the intellect from
the one who created that. I can't wait to see him and to know all the secrets and to know so much more amazing. So
it's interesting, because do you think that sometimes some of us, I know, we're meant to have the white balance of hope and fear? Do you think sometimes we can
think of a lot too much as the Punisher? And then what? Because we've asked this question, obviously, we played this game a few times with a few people, and the most common answer is scared and nervous. But you didn't hesitate in like you lit up instantly. And you're like, excited? Do you think that we have the wrong? Like, are we on the wrong side of that balance? Or do you think that we don't think about ally enough in the good in a good way?
Well, I'll tell you, if you're a believer, and you're trying your best, you may falter because the money is faulted as well. But you seek forgiveness, you love Allah, you don't defy him. But you know, you might drop and seek forgiveness. You're trying your best, you're good to people, you don't think you've hurt someone in such a way that would deserve punishment. And if you know if human dispute may have happened, you know that your heart you've carried as best as you can, there is no need to fear the day that you're going to meet with Allah to that degree. Yes, we all have an element of perhaps the unknown that is there. And perhaps we do know that the punishment of Allah my
brother, I tried my best. I know that I know personally, I've tried so hard to please Allah, I seek forgiveness every day. Why should I fear?
Why should I think that I was just going to punish me when I know I sought forgiveness. When he says if you seek forgiveness, when
you seek forgiveness, Allah will forgive you. It's chapter closed, I don't doubt that one bit. And
I will treat each slave of mine the way he or she thinks that I'm going to treat him or her to, like, come in. So if if someone is evil, or bad, or they're not doing things they're supposed to be doing and so on, they have every reason to be so worried. But somehow we're trying, the hope that I have in a lot far outweighs
the element of, of you know, fearing the punishment, what did I do against I look at the TV, for example, the magician's at the time of the pharaoh once to Jordan, Allah gave him gender to fit those. I mean, I've made 1000s of suit I pray, except one of them. So perhaps more than that, and when training I mean, when I put my head on the ground every day so many times, it's the love of Allah, you know, you're in love with your Creator, you have no option but to go back to him. Apple maker who made us grant us paradise for you. We're going to return to when we return to you, make it easy for us and forgive us and grant us gender roles. We have no option.
You know, there is no way of anyone's going to save you. No way you can seek refuge in anyone besides Allah Himself. That's it. I'm going to go back to him. So for me, yes, you know, there are days when you ponder over your sons and you seek forgiveness and war tears rolling down your eyes. And you know, you're trying to say things that that you know, in praise of Allah
But the predominant sort of feeling with him is Yeah. Go it's gonna be the best day of
our
lives, you know, make the best of our deeds, the last deeds, make the best of our day is the last days and make the best of our, our time, the moment that we're going to be meeting with you all.
The excitement is infectious. Yeah. Let's go for the last the last chord. The last question I'm going to ask you for now. Oh, it's a lovely one. I don't think we've ever heard you discuss this before. So maybe we'll get an exclusive here. Tell me something about your father that you didn't appreciate until you became older.
His sacrifice, to educate all his children and grandchildren with what he knew. It made us all happy. He taught us all the Arabic language. And he taught us all together over and above all of his work. And we're nine siblings, and a lot of us have a father we have from from his grandchildren as well. So the type of sacrifice that he has made, I think we didn't really understand it until we had our own kids. And we grew older. And now we find it difficult to spend even a few moments with the little children. How did they cope? So how
is it I'm so intrigued by by this like, concept of parenting and fatherhood, obviously, now more than ever, like in the past year, I think even the last time I The last time I met you was just as my son Zachary was was, I think, to one or two months. So I vaguely remember, that's all I would speak about. And like, I'll show you pictures and stuff. But it's a world that you never open yourself up to, or you're never understanding of until you enter and it is something that you can't appreciate until you become become one right in terms of parenting. And so when I became when I came into that world, what I wanted to do was talk about it and learn about it. And I'm still in that
zone, you know, even a year later, it just intrigues me so much like you mentioning the sacrifice of your father, I realized now how hard certain sacrifices can be.
Absolutely. I think myself having 10 children of my own, some of them actually married. I want to tell you, every child is different, and every child is unique. And you have to win the follower to bless you with several children, may Allah bless you.
You know, you have to spend a moment to ensure that you treat them fairly, each one knows that they have a special relationship with you, and you love each child. And they would feel that bond and connection, each one of those children, it's actually something that is
so beautiful, it's just that feeling of connection, I have come across as a counselor that a lot of children will complain that you know, I'm the black sheep, my parents don't care, they care about me and so on. I think I'd like to advise parents to say don't do that treat your children fairly no matter what, you know, brother face, and very sadly, people treat their children based on their complexion based on their you know, whether they're intelligent or not. And I've seen people who are not so intelligent later on in life earn millions more than those who were children that were intelligent. And yet the parents were inclining towards those who have beautiful school results and
so on. To me, I've told my children clearly do your best at school, they don't expect you to come first. But I expect you to do your best and enjoy your time in school in a clean way. That's enough for me.
Well, I think this is a perfect kind of segue into what I wanted to discuss with you mostly so in in, in having you on. We were kind of contemplating I was constantly not speak to you know a few people about what is it that we want to kind of get out of this discussion. And a common theme that we realize is our audience are freshly grounded is very much so kind of young adults, they've left school. And now they're going into the world. there's kind of two categories here. So all of them are kind of either going into the world of work or they've like just recently established themselves in their careers.
And they're either newly married slash new parents, or in that stage of life, where you are looking to get married. That's where our audience seemed to seem to be yet. And so just picking apart that, in itself, has so many kind of lifestyle elements that are wanting to kind of pick out which could kind of benefit our audience and the main one that I considered and perhaps it's because it's something that I went through as well when I was in college.
is this idea of maintaining your Islamic identity at work, even when it can be tough. And the obvious example is being able to pray at work. And it's not always easy. And I wondered if there was some kind of light, you could shed light on this whole element of like starting a career going into the world of work, and the challenges that one might come across, with regards to kind of balancing and still upholding Islamic identity.
I think it's, it's very different from country to country, and especially some countries to accommodate those of faith. I mean, if we're talking to people in France, for example, it would be different advice than people, for example, in the UK, or in the UAE, or somewhere else. So it's not one brush that will actually paint all But
brother faces, we need to try our best in every circumstance, and the bare minimum of the farm, we must always fulfill,
you know, be conscious of a love fear a lot to the best of your ability, and always translate tafawa as developing the correct relationship with Allah. So, you know, develop that relationship in the best possible way, make a plan, Where there is a will, there is a week, you know, if you have to
go to work that which is compulsory, don't compromise that by the end of the month, try to make a plan in one way or another. And Allah Subhana, Allah will open the doors, I do know that different people and different workplaces require different types of advice, perhaps, sometimes, it's really, really difficult. And sometimes it's a bit easier. So push it right to the end that you can push it to take it from there, I didn't give advice to someone who was in a workplace where they felt, you know, they didn't even have a break for the summer time, which was very short, during a certain season of the year. And I told them fulfill on your seat while you're sitting exactly where you are,
and you know, do it. So they said, but we were told you have to stand and do the Salah, I agree. But when the professor Selim says forfeited standing, if you cannot infinity sitting, that cannot is usually from a medical perspective, if you can't really stand, but it also goes further to other disability, I mean, inability, should I say, I'm not disabled, but unable to do something a specific way.
forgive you, you fulfill it seated. Like, for example, in an aircraft, when we're flying, we used to be able to easily fulfill our standing, you asked me this to me, you know, please can I use a little space here to pray, it's no longer like that many aircraft. So unfortunately, unfortunately, you have to read on the seat. And the good thing is the process and I'm saying if you are unable to step you missed it, the dope.
So much so that even in the vehicle when you're traveling, you know, if push comes to shove, and the time of Allah is going on one hand, it is totally hard to let the time lapse without having fulfilled detail. On the other hand, there is a scope of permissibility to fulfill it in your car as you are now you have these two together what Which one? Do you choose that which is totally that where there is a scope of permissibility to me, there is no option, I would fulfill it in the vehicle and I've done it. So the same applies to your workplace, make a plan. And inshallah The same applies to dress code, you know, sometimes people say, you won't be allowed to wear this or to do
this, you know, speak to them in a nice way and try and sort that out, perhaps, you know,
put your dress code in such a way that it would still have covered, whatever needs to be come from an Islamic perspective. But it would be clothing that would be acceptable to I mean, people have had hoodies that can cover them people have had other things they've used that you know, it's like a style and
you've still covered whatever you have. You made sure that you haven't displeased a lot, which is primary. And the secondary issue is you've also managed to meet whatever was meant to be met at work as well.
Nowadays, there's a lot of people working at home. I'd say like almost everybody's working from home, right and, and with working from home comes this. There's so many different elements, right? But one of the elements is that perhaps we can fall into this idea of
logging in online, right because it's nine o'clock in the morning. So I'm where when I had to go to Cardiff to login or I'd have to wake up at 7am so that I can get the train into work. Now I'm waking up at 858 I'm opening my laptop in bed, turning it on and logging in so they can see
I'm online, putting a laptop to the side, doing my morning routine having my breakfast. And I'm just checking that no one's kind of messaging me. And that instantly makes me think about this amount of work in this amount of time.
What can we say about that? I believe that the
facial be very fair, very balanced and very realistic. If your workplace allows that it's okay, if your workplace does not allow that it's not okay. Simple as that. So you can ask yourself today know that perhaps do they just require you to have logged on and perhaps do a little bit of work, meaning do whatever needs to be done, which might not take your entire day, if that's the case, good luck, you've got a good workplace, and they allow it. So I'm not going to tell you it's prohibited because the people you work for don't mind that particular system. But if your workplace requires you to be seated in front of your laptop, and to make sure the responses are coming, or whatever else is
happening, the same applies to your schools. In that case, if you cheat, you would actually be paid for with money, that's hard for you to take. I mean, I have to be open there as well. So you've cheated the workplace, you work for four hours, and you took money for six hours. That's what it would be. But if your workplace allows it, and it's okay, it's fine. And I think a lot of workplaces to be honest with you, they just want a certain amount of work to be done. And once the work is done, you know, it's up to you. I mean, they're not gonna monitor, they haven't governed what you may be the clothing you might be in or whatever else. Because one might argue that look, I'm going
to work normally, I'd be dressed this way here.
Do I have to be dressed this way? The answer is, it depends on what your workplace allows, and doesn't allow that what do you what have you agreed to with them? If you've agreed to something? Please fulfill it? If, if that's not a part of your agreement? I don't see a problem.
Yeah, it sounds like for example, it sounds like there's perhaps a kind of what you're you may be quantitating is that sometimes we can make the deen more difficult for ourselves than we necessarily need to. And then perhaps that can like lead to kind of longer term issues in us making things more and more difficult for ourselves.
In so so, so in speaking about this, this this element of work,
as you probably know, and as the viewers know, in freshly grounded, I on kind of my own own channel, I like to talk a lot about kind of, like productivity from the Muslim mindset, and, and in productivity in kind of work. And with that comes this discussion of money. And everybody has a relationship with money, right of some sort. And it seems like such a big thing that we should put focus on. And so when you mentioned just now about if you're taking money for, for example, six or eight hours, but you're working for there's an element where that money could could be haram for us. And I do you think that we need to put more focus on understanding when and where money can be held
on for us? Because because of the implications that are involved with then dealing with her own money? And, and perhaps what are some of those implications here.
I think it's very important to constantly think about your income and how pure it is, because sometimes it might not be fully harm, but it lacks blessings simply because it was earned in in a wrong way, or not totally wrong, but not the best of ways. You know, I give you one example of a trader, the process that kind of speaks about blessings, when a person is considerate of the buyer when selling and considerate of the seller when buying
the stock, and so on. So if a person really rip someone off, the money might not be harmed, but the back end would probably decrease because you ripped them off, you know, you've actually scammed them, if they were happy to do to buy the stuff from you at a certain price. Say for example, medication that costs you five pounds, and you're selling it for 500 pounds simply because there is a need. That is disgraceful for a Muslim. And although if the buyer is willing, and there's a willing buyer willing seller, there would be an element of for example, inability to do something about it because of desperation. And if that's the case, then you will not be cognizant of that. The
blessings in that amount would not be as grand as if you had given it to them for an amount when they smiled and they continue. The same applies to your workplace when you do your work properly. The proper setup says allow loves from us that when we do something we do it and do it properly. So give it your all and make sure you do it.
Well, if the person you're working for is happy and you are happy, they will be balika in what you've done. But if there is no happiness on one side of the to the bucket is snatched from either one of the sides and sometimes even both sides. So
if it is outright harm somebody stealing deceiving, cheating could be a little in a corrupt way taking the money. In that particular case, we need to do much better than that. Because in the eyes of Allah, you know, and I know that's not acceptable. May Allah make it easy for us. I mean, I mean, okay, so in talking about kind of work, and talking about parenting, and sticking on this theme of kind of like young adult lifestyle, we can't have that discussion without speaking about marriage and I know loads of discussions. If you just go on YouTube and you search Mufti, make marriage, there's so many advices I don't think that's been put out. But even when we put on our, on our
Twitter, on our Instagram yesterday, kind of the things that we What should we discuss, remove the marriage, of course, came up as a topic. And so it makes sense to discuss it, but rather than me asking you very specific questions on on marriage, in your experience, counseling and your experience speaking, in your experience meeting so many young people, what do you see as, as one of the or some of the most prevalent issues with young adults getting married, either trying to get married, or like, or newlyweds?
You know, to be very honest with you We're living in a very materialistic world with a gauge is a lot of the times based on wealth. And this is a mistake, it's being made by a lot of people, I'm sorry to say, but I'm witnessing it. So wealth is there. But it's a secondary matter, parents are also disagreeing, to marry a really good guy who has the deal has, is very responsible. But because he doesn't own a house or a car, or he doesn't have X amount, they say no. And they say what he doesn't have this, he doesn't have a job, it
tells us that by virtue and blessing have been getting married, a love will make him independent, and Allah will sustain that
you will meet a loving family, if they are poor, alone grant of independence from his virtue. And the sad thing is, when we make a choice based on wealth, then that's probably the only thing we will get for a while. And then we start realizing this guys with no character, they've got no contact, they're not really too much keen to key on the deal. But some people are okay with that. Because for them, it's all about the outside world and how we show the world how happy we are. And we're not really happy, to be honest, we're just showing them what material items we can afford. And because of the social media, showing things that are adopted, you know, Photoshop, etc, we are trying to
live a life that the others who have shown us that they are living that life have not actually lived. It's only Photoshop, so we're being deceived so badly. I think one of the biggest mistakes is, when we don't look at the character conduct the responsibility
of an individual, we're headed towards failure.
What's the solution to that then, because, like you said, we are living in a world where we have the ability so easily to compare our lives with the lives of others, even if they are even if they're not real, they are perceived as real. And then we want to live a life that matches our perception. But it's only going to become more like that show. Like we showed social media went from a computer to a laptop drawer, you know, a tablet and a phone and now it's on on your wrist as a watch, no doubt is going to end up in my glasses. So if that's if it's becoming closer and closer and closer to us, how are we meant to fight that element? So that we can we can stick to kind of the things
that like you said matter most like Unfortunately, some of us perhaps are turning down like marriage options where the person may have wealth button but doesn't have at all but where someone else has sought all but they may not have the Instagram lifestyle.
You know, let me talk about myself when I found myself getting attached to perfumes and spending a lot of money and so on. I gave it up and I hardly used perfume I have very little if I get I give it away. My friends know that right? I used to be very very connected. My heart became attached to my pens, my cufflinks, my watches, and so many other things. Guess what face though, I no longer wear a watch because I no longer I no longer
I have a pen in my pocket and I no longer will use cufflinks. And this is my own discipline, I've done it because I found myself getting too attached to it, giving it preference and therefore I no longer feel the need to actually, you know, look towards these things. The only thing I really look at a little bit more is a mobile phone simply because I actually use it, you know, I actually use it, look, I'm speaking to you today, I can let the cat out of the bag. It's from an S 20. Ultra Samsung, okay.
Oh, I'm so sorry, my brother
is taking me by surprise.
So basically, it's just a phone I use as a camera. My phone is different from this the one I use as a phone. But I kept this because the camera in it is probably better than some of those big cameras. And I don't have a massive sort of a team or anything. It's just myself, my family members, a few small, a little small group and, and we try to do whatever we can. Now when it comes to people, it's very difficult. I think there is this minimalism, that there are people who are teaching and showing how life can be so much better when you have less in your cupboards at home. You know, and when you give away things, you actually emancipate yourself, you actually set yourself free when you give
away things that you're attached to. And your attachment is then diverted towards a lot. And I am not meaning it in a typical sort of a way where I'm telling you to boss yourself from the whole world. But I'm saying when your heart is inclining, towards genuine love towards the wrong things towards materialism, you need to deal with it quickly, and come back on track and tell yourself You know what, I am nothing besides create a creature of Allah. And I'm going to go back to Allah and all of this is not really going to help me. I can be neat, I can be clean I can, I can be smart. And you know what if I myself, many others would like to be like me. But when I try to be like others,
then who is going to learn from me. So be original, be yourself, live according to your budget according to your income. And don't compare your life with others. If you do, you end up taking loans from the banks, you end up wanting to live according to a level that's not yours. And all that leads to ultimate depression, it leads to anxiety leads to bankruptcy leads to I know of people who've taken out bank loans just to show the world that they can have big weddings. And yet the process sometimes teaches us to have a simple wedding. So we prefer to show off and taking off a bank loan to have a massive wedding to live up to the Joneses. Yes, we have the teaching of the
process of love that will be filled with vodka. And you know, we we don't even want to use that option. I mean, you know Coronavirus has come to us and taught us a lot of lessons. There are wealthy people who've left there are healthy people who have left.
One thing that's been a positive is those who have gotten married through this particular period, have been given the opportunity to have a simple weddings, simple marriage, and to get together in such a simple way. That's how it's supposed to have been anyway. So you know, one thing one of my family members told me Well, you know, if we have a very small wedding, people will be offended that we didn't invite them. And I said, well start the trend, we'll start the trend. And you know, it just let them send a plate of sweets or something with a little sticker on the top, say you have the occasion of the marriage of so and so. So and so we request you to app so they can keep the plate
and they can keep the sweets and chocolates and whatever else it may be. But you don't have to bring every single person across. mela make it easy. So it's a tough one brother face on because living up to what the social media is showing you it's gonna go on and on, it will never stop. If you run behind the dounia. I always say well, I'll run you always well, check. I wanna, there's so many points there that I want to pick up on. But there's one that that that I want to I want to pick up on right now. And that's this this idea of you mentioned about even people taking out bank loans
for things that are not necessarily okay. And so my question is, nowadays, everything is slowly becoming available on interest free finance. So we're not talking now about there's interest available, but but we're still talking about that the hobby and, and the way marketing is done now is if I can't afford, for example, that car that laptop got so far in the past, it would have been a scenario where I'm not going to go near it.
Anyway, because it's interesting, oh, I have to have a credit card for it. But now I can I can I can get almost anything that I want. Because almost everything is now available in interest free kind of paid installments, what do you think about this kind of new culture, that's that's taking place, we need to be very careful because the day will come on, you won't be able to afford to pay that back. So don't take what you don't need, you know, the norms that that there was a time at the province of southerners time, whether it was, you know, a period of time during that time when he used to get up when a person passes away and says,
Does this man have any, you know, debts against his name? If they said yes, he would walk away and tell them
you guys can fulfill this Allah on your companion, I'm going away. Because they the the seriousness of owing money when you've died? I mean, why did you live beyond your means? So you take a loan, even if it's interest free, and technically Hello, you don't go around borrowing thinking that, you know what, it's okay, I'm going to pay that How long are you going to live for when you die? Would you have been able to pay back later on the process, someone decided to change that he paid the bones of some of those legitimate monies that they owed, that they couldn't pay back, none of it at that time was unnecessary. Nowadays, if you need something, by all means, don't you may go and get
it and you must make sure you've made a plan. Because people have not considered that they may lose their income. And look at this virus when it came in. So many people committed suicide, people haven't even spoken about that. Because everyone's interested in counting the number of people who have died of the virus, and they haven't looked at how many people have actually killed themselves. And why because they have struggled and lost jobs, they've lost income, they've lost everything. And they haven't been in the catchment area of the aid organizations and so on. So they have been arising cases. And so Pamela,
I think people didn't ever think they would lose their jobs. And here you have hundreds of 1000s of people millions across the globe, who suddenly lost their jobs, good paying jobs, to pilots, and so many others. In fact, if I were to mention categories, nearly every category, if they did not take that which was unnecessary, I think it will soften the blow. May Allah make it easy for everyone. It's not a joke. It's something very serious, we need to talk to people we need to try and help them. And the other day, I read a story about Muslim doctor in the states who forgave $650,000 worth of medical bills for his cancer patients and their
family. You know, that type of gesture is true is true. You know, and that's the way it should be even human beings, what are you gonna do with all that money? I might go tomorrow. But that was medical expense, a lot of us all, and it's not even medical, it was something unnecessary. You know, people are actually sitting around the table saying, did you hear the banks now 0% interest?
Let's go and get a college go and get it. This might confuse the cop because there's going to be a knock down, you know that you can't really drive it much. And you're going to have to pay for it anyway. And what about your job? Do you even know if it's going to remain for another
business, you may have to close your business, your business might not do well, because of so many other reasons. So this has just shown us that anything can change at any time. Therefore, if you need to take the loan, please take it make sure it was something necessary and needed and inshallah you will be safe to go with
it. For those watching live, I do know that we've got kind of questions coming in. And we will try our best, very shortly to to get to some of these questions. And I am trying to kind of read them and go through them at the same time. So do forgive me because I'm the worst multitasker my family will tell you so I am trying. But we will get to them. But
carrying on on this topic that we're on shift, there's a big, as you mentioned, is that there's a big trend going in direction of minimalism, but also a big trend in in productivity in mental toughness, and in habit forming. And I want to sit on habit forming for a second, because there's great tips that people have now, given these great books that people have written on forming habits. And examples are
small habits that you can that you can put in your life like hacks that you can implement that that have long term effects. And I'll give you a very simple example one that I found really powerful, and that was literally when you go to do your food shop every week or whatever. Don't buy
snacks and the stuff that you that you know, you have a habit of going into that cupboard after you finished your meal, and you're going to grab it, if it's not there, you won't grab it. And so if you can, you can do there's a, there's a hack and a way to defeat that habit because you're never buying those items, and they're not there. Now, what I want to ask you are there hacks and small things that can change our habit that can that can aid us in our religion, that can aid us in our worship, little things that we can implement in our lives to make things easier for us. And again, I am going to pass it over to you but one that I always talk about on freshly grounded and stuff is this fact
that you can get these,
you get these smart bulbs now, right? It's like 10 pound, and you put the bulb in your room, and you can activate the bomb from your phone. And the beautiful thing about these bulbs is that you can set a timer on them. So you can you can have the your your light come on in your room at photo time. And so automatically that every day, five o'clock in the morning light goes on, that's gonna wake you up, right? And so now how do you do not have any? Or can you advise us or any hacks or any habits that will help us to make our worship easier for us or anything kind of along that line?
You know, it's amazing when you're seeing these little hacks and small things make a difference. When someone told us a long time back at the best of deeds unto Allah, of those that are done regularly, you know, habits, even if they're small deeds, that's what the process of
saving our money mighty mighty mentally,
depending on the plural or singular, the deeds that are most loved by Allah or the best of deeds should I say, are those that are done regularly, even if they're very literal. Now, in a bad situation, I find a car really helpful.
Handling love, all the time on your tongue. And keep yourself conscious training yourself to keep your tone of voice with good words of praise Allah, even in English, Allah is the Greatest you know, or so Glory be to Allah Praise be to Allah. I prefer saying the Arabic but it's there's nothing wrong in saying the English, although still, I think I would prefer the Arabic. But if you keep your tongue moist with that, it protects you from so many other things. And then the time of Salah comes you become a person who's afraid of Allah or connected to Allah. And what brings me a lot of comfort is that when Allah Himself stays, and it's called Hadith, which means applies, saying something that
he says, if my worshiper is coming close to me, I have spent I come close to him. And if my worship is coming close to me walking, I come to Russia, which which is just showing us that Allah is always giving us more than what we've sown in terms of the seed. When you try to do something, you will achieve much more spiritually than what you put into it, but you would have had to put in something. So try your best and Salah is one thing that we should always work on, no matter who you are, whether you're making five Salah a day or not, you can do better, if you are doing fine, that can increase the quality, the timing, you know, they
assure the concentration, try your best to do so many things shape outline, come to us and make us think I haven't done this Well, I haven't concentrated properly, you are just a human being. So do your best. And then leave it in our hands, do your best do your best meaning you won't be able to have 100% concentration, you won't be able to do things exactly perfect, because you're not a perfect creature, you're just a human. And there are a lot of imperfections in humankind. Allah skipped perfection for agenda to fit those, you know for for the agenda. So go easy on yourself, but push yourself to the limit that you can. And that advices is I think it's better than because on one
hand, you have people suffering with OCD, and with so many other, you know, challenges, mental challenges. And on the other hand, you have people who don't care at all, they don't care at all about the damage. So we're trying to say you know what, you need to take it seriously, if you're from this side here. And if you're from this side here, go easy on yourself and understand you're just a human being and human beings will feel sad. Sometimes they will feel happy. Sometimes they may use concentration, sometimes they may have a bad day. Sometimes it's all normal, you may feel the stress and the pressure on your mind. We all go through this, that there are some times I come
in I started my son. And I realize that my concentration is not as great as it was yesterday. And there's always a reason I'm a human being I'll just be honest with you. It's not like I because I am whoever I am that is always going to be 100% perfect. Not at all. I'm just like everyone else.
So, I think these little things, if we concentrate on these four things, like I said they occur a little bit every day is something I find missing, it adds a flavor to your day that you need to taste, really to experience. So one of the words of the day with the English translation or your language is a very good start. But force yourself to do that first because then it will automatically increase it to a network page, and sometimes even more. And then you can ask a few questions if you don't understand that. But please make sure you have a connection with the word of Allah. You know, a lot of people are passing away now in Corona.
But I tell you, the best of the deaths is when you die on the day, you've done your job. You get your car, you read a bit of Fortran, you saw the forgiveness of Allah. you started your day that way. Imagine it's going to be so exciting to see. And imagine he's gonna say, Well, you did. You did? You did you praise me. You saw my forgiveness you. I mean, I'm so excited to know how
you know, like a little baby.
I did start with budget. That's the day to be excited. I'm doing it for you. Oh Allah, I'm not allowed to show off except to you. Oh, Allah. So here you are, that someone was for you this this was for you. But this other thing was for you. I got up because of you. Otherwise, you can you I sometimes I tend
to fall off, I would have done things differently. But because
I'm going to do it this way here because of you.
And just imagining being so happy with what I've chosen a human to falter. And when we falter, we still seek the forgiveness of Allah.
Do you think that sometimes we can forget to think about Allah in our worship, because it becomes habitual, for us? To remind ourselves, I'm doing this for a law, I'm doing this for a law, as opposed to, oh, it's time for the hurt. So I'm going to pray for her and you almost you almost forget kind of the meaning behind it because it becomes a habit, right? That's very interesting. And it does happen. It does happen. Sometimes when a lot of people tend to fulfill acts of worship and each other, they're acceptable acts of worship, because they know deep down the intention is for Allah. But the reminder to oneself that a this is for Allah. And it's the constant consciousness of
Allah subhanho wa Taala, you know, like to have that element of connection with Allah at all times, is something amazing. And I think Yeah, you're right, and for bringing up this point, because it is a problem when we can use to an act of worship, it's more like just a routine that we do, without having a lot in that equation, as it should be, as it should be. So I'm not saying we don't have him at all, but I'm saying on the level, that we should try to have an also another quick thing, just for those who are viewing or listening. We must make sure that we understand when we do a DJ will come to us. He is jealous, he is upset, he will make us doubt good deed, he will make us doubt
ourselves, you make us doubt. So anything, kick out that. I always say that, you know, I'd rather worship the small mistake than to entertain the doubt of the devil. That's the biggest sin. So if I made a little mistake, and I'm not social, Allah will forgive me because he knows this was done for me. And it was a mistake that
Allah has given us that don't hold against us, our forgetfulness for our mistakes. And Allah says, what I've done that for you, so I will not hold against us our mistakes and our forgetfulness, we're meant to
do it. The processor has already explained it that the mistakes and the forgetfulness of human beings will be will be tested, meaning forgiven, it's not even written. So
when you're worshiping,
please make sure that you realize to entertain him is worse, and to have fulfilled that act of worship with a little error that you might not be 100% sure of because at the end of the day, we're just human beings.
I'm conscious of time and I do think that the people would love to get to know if they make more. So I'm going to hand it back over to the courts to find out some more about u of t. So I hope you're okay with that. I really enjoyed opening those wires. So let's see. Hopefully we can get some kind of deep questions here and understand more about multimedia. I'm going to pick the first one on the top. So have a look.
I this is a nice one. The question says,
When was the last time you faced a fear and how did you feel afterwards?
Fear is something that appearing human kind of fearing things and people and I think it's
actually, since that type of feeling, may Allah protect all of us, I think I've arrived at a point in my life where I'm happy with everything you say what you want, even if people say things, and that's one thing I get, it's not a lot, but it seems vocal sometimes when people say nasty things about you, I just,
you know, I tell myself, this person was talking is not in my equation, in my equation is with Allah, this person is not in the equation. So let me not let them feature in any kind of luck, you know, so it's just, it's, that's how it is. But I guess, look, with this virus around, I think we have an element of ingrained concern for our loved ones and ourselves and the others. You have to lay your trust in Allah, you have to hand it over to Allah, you have to prepare yourself for the worst, by by telling yourself that Allah will do whatever he knows is best for the long term, the short term, whatever it may be that which appears to us as negative, would probably be the most
positive for us when we arrived in the Presence of Allah subhanho wa Taala on the day of judgment and see the reward of it so and you're finished Allah, trust Allah, seek from Allah, ask Allah, it's none other than Allah. And he'll give you a sense of Congress by
the next question. He says, if you could give me a gift, you could give me a piece of advice on anything, what would it be?
Better patients might rather be patient upon that which Be patient upon that which comes in your direction, be patient, take things in your stride. Don't overreact to situations become, develop your connection with Allah, that's also a part of patients, because patients in Islam is connected to three different aspects. One is the strength that is required to fulfill the obligations that Allah has laid on you. Two is restraint that is required to stay away from what Allah has made prohibited, and three is the acceptance of the choice that Allah has made for you, when you have no role to play. So that is,
to be happy with what Allah has ultimately chosen for you, you're happy with your nose, your eyes, you're happy with the family members, your children, you're happy with meaning with what they turned out to be like, be it physically or any other way. And, you know, you're okay with things and whatever is wrong, you try to correct it in the most beautiful way. What inspires me brother face is the fact that
if Allah wanted, he could have made him complete his mission in a few days, but Allah decided to stretch it over 23 years. And for that, for that we would actually be learning so many lessons, because it's a gradual thing. And you know, Allah takes you a step at a time step at a time. So you want the ending to be the best, you know, don't start in such a way that you're not going to end properly. Sometimes people come into the faith. And they stopped practicing in a way that they did that to others so much that it takes away their practicing. And a few years down the line, you'll find them not practicing anymore, because they were belittling other worshipers of Allah. So check
it in your Australian go easy, you know, and make sure that you will come yourself than what you were talking to others about. When I'm saying things to others. I've always tried to ask myself, where are you in all of this? You know? How are you faring? Are you strong? Are you very patient? Are you trying your best? And the answer is positive, you will always have reason to smile.
I was reading I was reading previously about the concept of
having patience, and not not showing like through your face or through your emotions that you're going through like a rough patch. And I think that's something that a lot of us struggle with. Like perhaps having patience is one challenge. But then having a level of patience, where people don't even realize that you're that you're going through something that requires patience right now. Like smiling through the pain or worse, it makes me think of how does one achieve that level.
That is not an easy level to achieve. We're human beings and
our emotions show up in our faces and that's a human trait. It's okay. It's not hard, but we'll call it and try to think a lot try to look at the positives in the negative. I mean, when you talk about someone Jimmy mentioned, it's not useful.
mean the man who lost his son and another son in law is telling him about me, you know, and he himself
was
the type of patients he had, but he cried, and he lost his eyesight. And there were so many other aspects as well. So we're just human, it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay. Sometimes that it shows on your face. It's absolutely okay to feel a little bit. You know, what can I say? Maybe your mind is struggling your, your brain wants to best Some people say my, my head wants to blow up. And you know, it's okay sometimes to feel that but achieve comfort in prayer.
And in patience, yeah, I mean,
slavery was,
oh, you believe seek help, through patience and prayer. Indeed, those who bear patience, you know, patience has a long term. It's like an investment that gives you a return later on. When you see that return, you will realize,
I thank Allah for giving me those days when I was patient, I went through so much the days that will change you know, people fear death, for example, your loved one has passed away, trust me, it's a short span of time before you will be joining, you'll be joining them again. And all you got to do is just be good. And just try your best to be the best worshiper to Allah that you can be. And each other things will flow. So, brother face, it's not easy to to be smiling when you're going through challenges. I mean, even with me, sometimes your doctors, you know, in the last few days, I've lost so many of my friends and
acquaintances, so many. I've heard of them in ICU and hospital, if my face dropped in the sense that I was quite sad, and I'm a person who's conscious of my facial expressions, I try to be conscious, but I noticed that you know, I
looked in the mirror and I said, Well, I'm just a human beings. I just lost some of my close buddies, not one, a few of them. And somehow I was totally devastated. It's normal to say that it's okay. I would never question a lot. But I was saddened, even the broxson suddenly lost his son, it's normal. I mean, it's not, it's no, I don't want to say you're a religious person, you won't cry, you want this to go, you won't say I'm gonna miss my son, or husband or wife or whoever else is gonna be tortured. But you may say you're gonna miss them. But we don't question the decree of Allah. Allah will not make it easy for me. Here I am. I'm struggling. I'm struggling to cope all make it easy for
me. And you know, what's the beauty of doula
is actually, with consistency and repetition.
You must repeat that to as many times as you can. And if you must be consistent, and keep asking and believe that Allah will give you as a result for that or that much more than what you've asked, you know, Allah is is the most generous when you ask him for one cent is going to give you a billion dollars, not just one cent, you know, so keep asking him and it will give you well make it easy for everyone.
I mean, sure, I'm gonna ask you my final question on a final topic before we hand it over to the live chat for some questions, and then we will close it off, inshallah. And so my question is, is it something that you've touched on throughout the episode now. And it's it has to do with social media. And we spoke earlier, and you mentioned about this idea about on social media, on comparing your lives to the lives of others. I want to talk about social media from a different aspect. And that's the aspect of
the I suppose that the anxiety aspect, not from comparing your life from others, but gaining anxiety from
being conscious of what people will think be or what people will say, because
we Okay, with social media, now, anybody can say anything anybody's opinion is, quote, unquote, valid, anybody's opinion can become trending, even if it's not factual, even if they don't understand the full context. And it may it could make a person anxious, like, if I do something, if I say something, somewhat likely I can get loads of comments I can get, I can become trending on Twitter all of a sudden, and then a person could become anxious about everything they do, not because they're comparing the lives of others, but because they're conscious of what people will think or what people will say. And I think it's a very, very real problem that I'd love to have
addressed.
I think
each discipline requires training. You know, when you do something, you need to be training, you will drive a car, you need a driver's license, you want to fly a plane, you need a pilot's license, whatever. I think when you want to use the internet, you need to have a slight bit of an understanding of what you're getting yourself into. And I think parents need to do that.
Don't perhaps school teachers, adults need to do the job for the younger ones. And some of the adults need it as well, you need to know you're entering a territory where they're crocodiles, and they're wild animals. And there, there is everything. And there are so many good things as well. So you know, when you dive into the deep sea, you're going to be in the middle of everything. And if you don't keep afloat, and keep swimming, and keep focused on getting to your destination, you will probably draw. Now, what I realized, is this validation, validation, meaning do people want to feel accepted by the people, so you adjust your life based on the norms that are happening, or based on
the fact that Okay, I'm going to be cool, I'm going to be acceptable. We have to be ourselves. I said, I'm saying it again, you must learn that there are so many people's comments that actually mean nothing. I like I said earlier, tell yourself this person is not in my equation. They don't even deserve a response from me. People will ask you about things you've been genuine about doubting your genuineness and sincerity because it that sincerity is only known by Allah. So if you're going to respond to them, you are answering to someone who's not your God stop. You know, why answer to them, we have a set of morals, values and our beliefs. And we should maintain them respectfully, but
we don't budge. And we don't want to actually compromise on our core beliefs. But we may be easygoing people and we may acknowledge others and perhaps offer them an element of respect in the sense that I respectfully disagree. So we don't need to just, you know, dissolve ourselves into all of that and think, well, if I if I, if I don't do what is being done, then I am not going to be acceptable by my peers, that type of pressure is mounting. Because I see people challenging others to do things that are so silly, that if you were to think about if you were to die on this day, and you've done all these challenges that are so silly, what going to give a lot. I mean, we could
change that a little bit. I'm not saying don't challenge each other, but perhaps for most things for something good. Or maybe for something that might not be bad, but it's not. It's not absolutely good, either. You know, but it's something okay. Stretching into the limit, but it's okay. I'd like to offer the younger generation a little bit of fun, a little bit of a few things are nice, you know,
but clean, fun, not something dirty, where you're gonna be exposing yourself, and you're gonna say dirty, nasty words, and whatever else, you can enjoy yourself in so many beautiful ways. And each of us challenge each other to do that. I mean, the other day, I was on a hot air balloon, and somehow I felt I felt for everyone, even for you, brother face. And I was thinking to myself, maybe we need to have a session of freshly grounded up in the sky. It's so peaceful, so calm. It was an amazing experience. But then people wonder, why did you go there? You know, you're a chef. And you know what, I don't need to tell you why I went, I just want to ask you, was it Hannah? Or how that's all,
if it's how you can take on it. Even though it might not be a recommended thing, please. Come on, man. So Alhamdulillah, I think we need to know that being affected by negative comments can actually cause a lot of mental health issues, as well as spiritual religious issues within a person, if you don't know how to process that type of attack, or that type of negativity. So please process it correctly, kick it out, throw it out, ignore it, live your life, because if you look at it carefully, 95% of people wouldn't mind their business or they would say good things, they would probably correct you even in a nice way, you're gonna have a vocal few, their vocal, but they're
very few. And they will say whatever they want, it's okay. You know, I look at myself and I see over the years, that from a very early stage of my presence in so on social media, I realized that I need to ignore, I need to ignore
negativity in order to grow. And where I'm corrected by the circle that I trust. I take it on board, where there are people who swipe and hack, they can enjoy doing that they can continue and they will continue. And you know what good luck to them because they're busy picking on you, which shows they're not pleased with themselves. So it's okay, my brother, I'm giving you my own experience, because as you know, I have been on social media from 2005 perhaps right. And it's just amazing how I've just on a few occasions, I've jumped into a few things that I felt for whatever reason I jumped onto but besides that, I have stayed out of it.
See above me, and I hope they realize they're not my God.
I owe it to Allah and they can keep on staying what they want. I know that I am doing something this specific way, if I'm wrong I have like I said, I have a circle of
people who I trust what would correct people, you know, say what it is. And
so the same advice I give everyone else to say. If you don't know how to process, hate speech against you, or comments that are derogatory or some supplements desperately to get you somewhere if you don't know how to ignore it and stay away from it, you still don't have your license to be on social media.
That's such powerful advice and I think some that's really benefited me first and foremost, but I'm sure the audience who are watching live and speaking of the audience who are watching live, we're gonna go for a quick quick fire set of questions and answers. We love these guys. I am keeping my eye on the chat if you want to have any questions, I will go with the first one of the which says, do
a demo. Do you have any advice for me as I'm trying to memorize the Koran
stop watching lots of videos and
free up your gigabytes space in such a way that your processor begins to work quicker and it will make life much easier for you seek the help of Allah fulfill your duties unto Allah stay away from sin and inshallah give it your all and you will continue because when you fill your brain with act which is unnecessary, especially video, film and audio, sorry, video and picture, you know,
then your mind sometimes with that which is not permissible that which is that which is unnecessary. It's preoccupied with so much when you're trying to learn the Koran. Your focus is diverted. So that's that's current advice today.
Next question, do you This is the big one.
Do you like Briony
I don't mind the beautiful biryani that's not too chilly because I can't really be cheap. So I remember being asked to give me Wendy once and I said many simply because it's not so cheap, but that's not really that's a little bit more defined. would probably take
you a coffee man. I've always wanted to know.
Okay, I mean, that one stings a bit, but it's fine. It's fine.
Okay, so
what would you say freshly ground ground?
You'd probably be referring to the beam or the coffee. I'm guessing you're a coffee man. No problem. When I'm with you. I'll enjoy your coffee The other day I had a cappuccino that was absolutely amazing. But I'm still in
shock I'm gonna take you up on that offer insha Allah for that coffee. Okay, oh Hamza says first Hadees that comes to mind
in
action
Okay, how do you control the feeling of pride or boastfulness and maintain the right intention when you are doing well? It
means doing well financially or maybe anyway anyway, thank you need a very close circle of people who constantly remind you of reality and people who are disciplined themselves and I think it's also got to do with self discipline, looking at yourself, when you know you have everything but you're still understand that it's from Allah, it is for Allah, it belongs to alive, you belong to Allah, it keeps you grounded, you know, some kind of law. So I think that's one of the things that keeps you out and try to love or care for at least everyone absolutely everyone. So when I say love for everyone, there are certain people you want to have, okay? And sometimes it's because of the deeds
they do, or whatever else, but at least cancel them. When you chant for them you will be you will be feeling that you want the goodness for them too. So the element of hate from your side is actually directed to deeds perhaps rather than individuals and at the same time, regarding individuals who are persistently terrible, you would be concerned enough to want to see them come come over to what is right and what is better.
Rather than attack because I've noticed a big blunder even in some people, knowledge and some people who are educated with, when they, when they see something wrong, they attack so badly that they don't realize their aim is supposed to have been to bring this person out of it. That's the that's one of the differences I noticed between myself and a lot of others, when I see someone doing wrong, my tells me how can you help them to correct it to bring them to realization, even if it takes you 23 years. And so I'm very, you know, I have a different approach with them. And I probably want them to identify the good England in order to be able to work on the bat, rather than attacking. So the
bad becomes more and they become 40 hide in the EU that they're in and it becomes a war between two parties. And this is something I've been telling a lot of my friends in depth I want to say there is a strategy you need to realize the world out there is very, very difficult at the moment. The challenges are very different people are going through real life issues, rather than, you know, spewing hate at the mistake of someone. Yes, you must call out the blunder, and so on. But remember, calm down, bring the person through. Like the processor was so excited when he was about to come. He knew he already the processor was excited when he
came when the others were coming. These were enemies, they did a lot of damage. But his concern was different from what we have today. You know, he was worried about bringing them along. He says one statement that
he says ma mythical holiday in
Latin America, telogen discarded nobody ever be ignorant of the correctness of Islam. Yeah, it became a law we'll bring him and a few days later, lo and behold, here comes.
And
so from that, I learned that, you know, we
attack, and we we invest in attacking, rather than making clear what was wrong and trying to bring the people back to realization make it easy for us. So the pride comes in, when you start thinking, I'm the one it's big, I'm above, I'm
this and that, you know, I've got whether it's wealth or knowledge or, or authority or looks, or whatever it may be, all of that will be gone, the only thing that will remain you and your deeds between you and Allah, so do the best deeds before you actually return to Him.
Just
the last few questions here, guys, because we've taken up enough time of 50 meg. So the question here is,
how to give that or so this is based on a lot of what you just mentioned about how to give that out to friends, who are Muslim, or Nazi hunter friends who are Muslim, but struggling,
to lead by example, and to make sure that within your within, within that time with you, you actually fulfill your son or your dressing is appropriate, your speech is good, and so on. And they would see this and they would actually see how much you're enjoying Salah I tell parents that when you fulfill some are fulfilling to the spine with happiness with joy. So when your children see you do it, they will say, Oh, that's a moment of joy, a moment of happiness, a moment of greatness. My parents really enjoy this, rather than doing it as a chore. And as something that's difficult or avoid switching over to be difficult.
That subconsciously affects the children and they go even further away.
The same applies to our friends, when we're excited about salad, we're always in a good mood, and we're happy praying, they could see this person is smiling, I know of a sister who told me that because of the smile she had on her face every day, there are people at her workplace who accepted Islam. They said, We all go through issues and were sad and so on. And we see you smiling all the time. So she says Well, it's
it's part of my feet, and I'm always happy with the degree of Allah, they get to learn more about Islam, some of them active Islam. So just a smile that brought people to the deed. And that impact that you can have on your colleagues or your friends, and so on is really very, very great. So, if you have a circle of people around you for some reason, and if they may not be that practicing, you know, you open a discussion with them in a in a comfortable way, a comfortable way, meaning you know, I love the method of the process and encourages people to do things you know, and how he encourages them. I do know in this case, follow this path. It's not compromisable it's not
compromisable but how to bring people across after a long time of being
In the long boats, for example, is a process. And it requires a lot of patience, a lot of praise and praise. And I've learned one thing when you prefer people, there comes a time when they're asked to soften by.
I mean, I mean, Jeff, we got the final question here. And the final question says,
I've lost it. Sorry. I was okay, fine. Okay, I'm gonna try and refine it.
In the 20, in 2021, in the Western world,
how does a person
practice their Deen fully, but still not completely lock himself off from society? Or should he lock himself off from society?
Well, I think, again, depending on where you live, depending on your environment, a lot of the environments are challenging, but you have to navigate through the path. And it reminds me of The Hobbit where, you know, eventually is made of a person walking through a path where there are forms and form wishes, and how would you walk, you know, you would walk in a way that you would, you would protect yourself from the forms, and from the harm of those forms. So you would actually navigate through in order to save yourself, the same applies here,
whether it's the internet or whether it is the real community that is around you physically, in society, you will be upright and you carry yourself to the best of your ability upon what Allah wants from you. So it may be different from people to people that level that they would be able to be a monk would be different, give you an example. You walk into some communities and people *. Now, what are you gonna do, these are people who are in society and community, if you have to be very respectful, you are going to interact at times with some of the people because you want to have to, for some reason, if there is reason, and you have to do you carry yourself very respectfully,
within the best of what you could do, given the circumstances. And, and you know, your, your gaze comes into play, everything else comes into play, your respect comes into play, your communication, which is absolutely respectful comes into play. And that itself would be a major, major downer, because people would never believe that in the 21st century, you can actually have people who can control their eyes.
Other things, you know, so you can actually very respectfully keep your gaze a little bit lower, and respectfully have a little smile, you know, without actually doing your best you do your best, Allah knows your circumstance, we may not know every detail of your circumstances, it would be difficult to just issue a ruling to say, you have to be XYZ, you know what
I would presume as a Muslim. So do your best given your circumstance to carry yourself in the way that you felt there was, you know, that was the best I could have done in that circumstance. And Allah Almighty is watching and he knows that. And when you seek the forgiveness of Allah, we always, always show for any mistakes we made knowingly or unknowingly. Forgive us, excuse us, I think that's the way we should be rather than withdraw from society, you're going to create a bigger, you're going to create, you're going to create a bigger issue and a problem and they will be a sense of mistrust and distrust between communities, because people will say, look at these guys, they're part
of our community and society, their neighbors, you know, they went on the trains or on public transport, or wherever else. I mean, he's pretending like he's not even a part of this community and society. But so we know we have restrictions that have a lot, carry yourself to the best of your abilities. And I'm sure even the scholars who have to interact with others because of public transport because of work because of whatever else, they would carry themselves as respectfully as they can, given the circumstance.
multibank I really want to say a massive thank you to soccerloco dome for joining me on freshlyground joining awesome, fresh regarded fresh new ground. It is not like this one video podcast, I just happen to be on the face of face and entire community. We call him the fg tribe. And I'm so grateful that you gave us your time and I hope I've done justice to all of the tribe for managing this podcast. I've had a lot of pressure on me as readouts there to make this a good one. So inshallah you guys enjoyed it. And I just want to say again, thank you so much for giving us some of your valuable, valuable time.
I really appreciate everyone's time, your time and I thank Allah for having given us beautiful internet and connection, very very glitches and pitches. I was expecting it to be a little bit
more bulky than this but how the night went very well please forgive me for anything I may have said that might have offended anyone. But I've tried to be as best as I could, and given the responses as best as I could. Male love from all of us. Nothing