Mufti Menk – Dealing with Difficulty #24 Sin Of Comparison
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The speaker discusses the difficulty of comparing things from different countries, citing examples such as social media and alcohol. They emphasize the importance of living in contentment and finding someone to convince of their worth, avoiding comparing oneself with those with less or more of the same thing. The speaker advises the audience to set an example and pursue their own success, emphasizing the importance of learning to adjust one's life to what one owns and what one wants, seeing one's success as a blessing rather than a fruit.
AI: Summary ©
Comparison
is almost a sin,
especially
when we're comparing what we have with others
in a way that is belittling of what
we have.
In a world of social media, it's become
so difficult, everyone showcases
things they don't even have at times.
And then
people who see it
are looking at this perfect image
of some perfection that didn't exist because it
was either photoshopped or it was just a
video shoot
for a purpose.
And yet we begin to think what I
have is nothing.
I don't have a spouse like this. I
don't have children like this. I don't have
a home like this. I don't have holidays
like this, I don't have money like this,
I'd
a lot of it is material.
The prophet Muhammad peace be upon him helps
us
dealing with this difficulty of comparison by telling
us that
look at those who have less than you
in terms of worldly
material
items.
It will help you to appreciate what you
have. Live in contentment.
The minute you're going to compare with those
who have more
or those whom you and I presume have
more because of the deception of the gram,
the deception of social media,
then we're going to struggle.
So when you look at those who have
less than you, what happens?
You appreciate, I
have a house.
Alhamdulillah,
these people are living in a hut.
We have a road,
a tarred road, a narrow one.
They have a gravel road,
we have water
from the tap twice a week.
They have to take a bucket and walk
5 miles before they can fill dirty water
from the river into that bucket and bring
it back home.
But when you look at those who have
more than you, even if you have your
vehicle, you look at another one, you're not
happy. You have your phone, you look at
a better one, you're not happy.
You have your spouse, you look at another
one, you're not happy. It goes
far beyond all of that
until you lose
every point of your happiness. So if you
don't know how to use social media,
it will cause
a lot of stress and even depression because
you will feel like you have nothing.
You will feel like you've missed out. In
fact, people are finding it difficult to get
married because
it is said that the demands have become
so high that those people who can meet
those demands are non existent.
So you're looking for someone who is not
on earth,
or very few of them might be on
earth. You're looking for someone who can use
social media
to con the people into believing they have
things.
Remember this. So therefore,
many couples who show themselves
online,
Some are blessed,
they teach a lot of goodness,
kudos to them, and we must congratulate them.
But
there are so many who are struggling in
their relationships,
yet online they don't show you that.
Many who have divorced, many who have had
ugly breakups,
sometimes we get to hear about it and
sometimes we don't. It's none of my business,
to be honest with you. But
the way
it was shown,
many other people's lives were broken
because they were comparing
their lives with
the life you never lived. But you didn't
tell us about all your issues.
We didn't know. We saw a hypocritical
side that covered up the real life issues
and showed people perfection that was non existent
in your own life. So it broke so
many homes,
and now yours is broken.
It can happen.
It has happened. It does happen. Be careful.
My brothers and sisters,
not everything that glitters is gold, as they
say.
Because to be honest with you,
when you look at things and you want
to compare,
only compare with those who have less than
you, Inshallah, you will never go wrong. Follow
that coping mechanism.
Dealing with the difficulty of comparison
is such that if you follow the prophet
Muhammad, peace be upon him's guidelines, it won't
be difficult at all.
And then when you come to piety
and got consciousness, taqwa, and closeness to Allah,
then you compare with those who are above
you. So that you're encouraged
to do more.
I prayed all night.
This person prayed all night, every night.
I fasted
3 days a week.
Should I say 3 days a month?
This person fasted
Mondays and Thursdays as well.
Mashallah, I read the Quran in 1 month,
this person read it in thrice a month
and so on. I've been in the masjid
and I come quite early, well this person's
been first every single Friday,
SubhanAllah.
I dress appropriately. Well this person's
been in a place
worse than where you were and they've come
out better than where you are, it should
be encouraging.
Like I say, Allah knows your struggles, we
congratulate you as you walk
through the paces and as you build and
grow
in your closeness to Allah, congrats because you
will be an inspiration to so many others.
You will. And when you're an inspiration,
impiety and God consciousness to others,
then congratulations
you get a full reward for those who
followed suit.
For example, it was not easy for you
to wear the hijab. People saw your journey,
you showed it to them with the idea
of helping them.
And as they grew,
seeing you grow, you get a reward for
that growth of theirs. And nowadays on social
media, there could be 1,000,000 that you don't
even know about, so you get a good
reward.
But when you show your backward movement,
some people have done it
online.
They've
very few, but they've done it. They've taken
off their hijab and thrown it away and
said, that's it. Very few have done it,
but
why do that online?
When you're a believer deep down, it's going
to be tough for you to deal with
that because
if others were inspired by this action, they
would be few in number but it's still
one is damaged.
And if they followed suit after they were
on the right path,
then you led them astray. And if that
was the case, then perhaps
if you're a believer like I am, you
would believe
that you would earn a sin for that.
But,
if you're not a believer at all, then
that's between you and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
I know because people have argued that I
don't believe. So what's the point? Well then
we can't, we're not addressing you SubhanAllah.
So what I'm saying, if you want to
set an example, set a good example.
If there is a bad thing to be
done, at least don't be proud of it.
Don't show off
something bad. The Hadith speaks about people remaining
in goodness for as long as
they do not commit that which is displeasing
to Allah openly,
and they're not proud of it,
still you remain in goodness. The minute you're
proud of it and you expose it and
you're showing it and everyone is excited about
the sins they're committing and whatever, as believers,
and Allah says, now you've entered red territory
because,
the goodness
is void. May Allah Almighty strengthen all of
us. Going back to the issue of comparison.
So
when you compare, remember those two things. Do
not compare with people because you even if
it were true about them, you would lose
the contentment you have.
You would always be wanting more and you
may never get to that level. To be
able to adjust your life
to exactly what you own and what you
have
is a gift of Allah.
Be happy with it. I have my little
home, we eat the same thing every
day. And on the weekend, it changes once.
People don't have food. People can't eat. People
don't have
a meal. SubhanAllah, we have one meal a
day. Well, some people have
no meals. Some people eat once every 2
days. They just drink a bit of liquid
and fluids.
We have water.
We don't have juices and drinks. They don't
even have water,
Again, look at our brothers and sisters in
Palestine,
and so many other places on earth. How
they are struggling, Allah alone knows.
I've always said we as an Ummah have
failed them.
May Allah forgive us for that failure.
Nonetheless,
if you want to compare,
compare your lives with theirs,
and see how thankful you become,
and see how small your problems
become, if any at all.
May Allah Almighty strengthen us.
Remember comparison
is almost sinful
if you are going to compare in a
way that is destructive.
So don't ever look at someone else and
destroy your life. What you have is a
blessing from Allah.
Feel it, understand it, appreciate it, be grateful
and see yourself grow.
Insha'Allah.