Mufti Menk – Dealing with Difficulty #21 Revert Issues
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the challenges faced by reverters and the importance of seeking help from Allah. They emphasize the need for support and guidance, finding ways to be supportive of oneself and finding ways to be aware of one's situation. The speaker also advises parents to find a job and connect with Allah for help, visit a church for support and guidance, and find an appropriate environment for learning and walking. The importance of finding an appropriate environment for learning and walking is emphasized.
AI: Summary ©
My brothers and sisters,
it's not easy to be a revert.
The challenges faced by reverts and the difficulties
they have to deal with
are unique. Each one has a story to
tell.
Sometimes
sit
and listen to some of these stories
in order to show you
how privileged you are. And in order to
help you
realize how to reach out to these brothers
and sisters of ours,
all from different backgrounds,
from different families. They love their families too.
In most cases,
they have communities.
It's not easy
when you know, I'd like to say my
shahada. I'd like to be, for example,
a Muslim
revert to Islam.
It's not easy.
Don't take it for granted when people have
done that. Congratulations
to you.
We apologize
for not being able to be there for
you the way we should be for you.
But
Allah Almighty will guide you and help you.
There are 2 or 3 different aspects of
this particular topic. 1 is from the revert
himself or herself.
Don't expect people to help and assist.
Lower your expectations
from community and from people around you. Secondly,
people may bombard you about what you need
to change so quickly,
whereas they won't think about where you were
and how far you've come.
So Allah
appreciates
what you've done.
You know what? Block your ears from the
noise that people are making. Otherwise,
you will become disheartened
and perhaps in their excitement to see you
do the right things.
They don't realize
your scenario, your situation,
who you live with, your circumstances.
Allah alone
knows
exactly
what you're going through.
So deal with this difficulty
by seeking the help of Allah alone.
Really, we as human beings
and we as Muslims.
In many instances, we have failed the reverts
because we go too hard on them, and
we tell them too many things, especially in
this age of social media
without understanding
who exactly the person is.
Where they came from. What about their family,
their parents, their siblings, their
their condition, the situation they're in. They could
be alone. And now that they've reverted, they
might be even more alone.
It's not easy for a revert to go
to the masjid sometimes
when everyone is going to just look and
wonder. But when they wanted to say the
shahada people were quick to Mashallah Allahu Akbar,
Takbeer and so on.
My brothers and sisters,
sometimes on the day of Eid, it might
be a bit lonely. Try to look for
different Eid parties perhaps that are compliant with
what Islam teaches us, but cater for rebirths.
Many cities do have, or if you have
a small circle of friends, maybe you want
to spend Eid there, you might want to
join some people for Ramadan. It's not easy.
Ramadan is a month where people are busy
sometimes.
But if you have a good circle of
friends, inshallah,
even if it's small,
it will be very helpful.
Don't have a big circle because sometimes people
begin to judge. They become judgmental.
Like I said, without knowing where you were
and how far you've come.
I know practicing Muslims
who've hardly moved an inch in the last
so many years in terms of their growth.
And I know people who were weak and
they've moved kilometres
over years. And yet some of those who
were practicing still belittle them. But who did
the movement? You know, Subhanallah,
this is Allah. And sometimes people go backwards.
May Allah protect all of us. So that
Ramadan
and Eid, sometimes when there's a death in
the family,
you may have to attend depending on who
it is. Certain do's and certain don'ts.
And some people will be so hard on
you and they'll tell you you're not allowed
to go. But that's my mother. You are
allowed to go.
It's my father. I loved him so much.
You are allowed to go. You should go.
And you should, you know, offer them a
good word of condolence and sympathy.
And subhanallah,
you may cry too. It's normal. That is
a natural love. The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
shed tears as well at certain times. And
he was saddened in certain times when his
uncle Abu Talib passed away. He was sad.
He was very sad. Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So
some of these challenges
not so easy to go through with the
help of Allah.
And Inshallah,
today I'm calling on the other side. Those
who are practicing, those who are born Muslim
or those who have been Muslim for a
while and you're in a circle.
Try and look out for those who have
reverted. Help them get married.
Help them
in to understand the deen. Don't go too
hard on them. Make things easy for them.
Talk to them. See their circumstances.
I know of a brother who told another
brother he's got to quit his job.
And,
when that brother left his job thinking this
is what's needs to be done, he was
homeless. He lost everything. And this other brother
never, ever
even asked him a question when he was
once told that, you know what? I don't
have a job. I'm looking for a job.
That was the end of it.
So you first, if it is really a
job that you need to get out of
first, look for another one. You get you
secure another one and then come out of
this one and get help and guidance from
those who know. And they've been dealing with
rivets for a long time.
Find an organization or find a masjid where
they have
a department that they deal with reverts in.
And Insha'Allah, you will enjoy the journey by
the will of Allah. I know some countries
are different from others.
Like I say, it's not going to be
so easy, but take it in your stride.
Connect with Allah. We're fortunate. We're living in
an age of social media where you're going
to be watching this video too.
And like I said, I apologize honestly
for not being able to stand up for
you and to be there for you.
Really, the way we should be there for
you.
So accept that apology and inshallah,
that's the reason why I'm saying what I
am saying today. It's dealing with difficulty.
We're dealing with difficulty on this side and
on that side, where
the people going through the problem
need help. And they just need a nod
of appreciation,
a little bit of an understanding, some explanation
sometimes,
a little bit of inclusion, include them in
the community,
in the society. Like I said, get them
married when they're unwell. Visit them. Care for
them. Think about them when they're struggling. Help
them.
That's what the deen is all about.
And on the other hand, we have people
who are Muslim already.
And what do they deal with?
They consider it sometimes a difficulty. Oh, you
know, this person is too much. They're not
proper Muslim because
they're not practising fully. I mean, I know
a ton of born Muslims who are not
practising fully. I mean, who is practising
perfectly? None of us. We're all a work
in progress. Every single human on earth today
is a work in progress. Yes. Some are
doing much better than others. Some Allah has
facilitated for them by giving them an environment
that makes it easy for them to practice,
whereas others have a sword literally
on their necks.
How are they going to fulfill their prayer
and fast
and live eating halal food and so on?
The challenge they go through just to achieve
that little,
Allah alone knows it. It's easy for you
and I to say, get out of there.
You can't. What alternative did you provide them?
That's the thing. If you haven't provided an
alternative, please, by all means,
let them navigate their path between them and
Allah. You don't even know a fraction of
the challenges that they are going through. So
pray for them. Make du'a for them. And
my beloved brother and sister revert,
call out to Allah, connect with Allah.
Excuse these people and Allah Almighty will give
you the strength. But don't give up. Don't
give up because of the failure of people
like myself
when it comes to reaching out to you.
Don't give up because of us.
We
have indeed been weak. But Insha'Allah, we'll try
to conscientize the people much more. And we'll
try our best to do better. And we
will continue to talk about it because you
are us
and we
are you.
And I do know that everyone,
like I said at the beginning of this
episode,
everyone is going through different types of challenges.
Everyone has a different
situation. Unique. You know yours
slowly, step by step, baby steps. We will
get there. We will learn to walk. Soon
we will be walking properly. Then we learn
to run and soon we'll be floating by
the will of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. And
I know so many who've come out with
beautiful stories. And this is why I say,
brothers and sisters, take a time.
Take a moment
to search and listen to the stories online.
Whatever platform it may be of reverts and
how they turn to Islam and what challenges
sometimes they're going through. Just to appreciate, see
where you fit in. Do you help or
do you make it worse?