Mufti Menk – Culture vs. Islam – The Clash

			You know, looking okay, but many people hide what they're going through when you see a person's
face, they might be bubbly, smiling and so on. You don't know the pain that they're going through in
their hearts. And therefore, when she made this video, she actually mentioned a few things. It was
good that she mentioned a few things because we can actually address this matter.
		

			She was exploited as a daughter in law and as a wife, she was actually abused to the degree that she
felt there is no way out. Her family couldn't do much because of culture, her in laws and her
husband, according to her, kept on demanding from her every single thing more than she could
actually manage, according to her. So what was the problem? The problem is when we get married as
Muslims, the boy is supposed to give the girl the groom is supposed to give the bride what is known
as a Ma Ma is a gift, a gift of whatever, whatever she demands, whatever she asks whatever her
family would like. And he needs to assume responsibility of three basic things as a minimum food,
		

			clothing and accommodation. He needs to provide for her place he needs to give her food he needs to
make sure that she is dressed and she has clothing. That's the minimum he must assume responsibility
of if a man cannot afford that much he should not get married. The props are seldom says Jamar Shara
Shabaab, Amani Stata, I mean komaba at affiliated, whoever from amongst you or youth is able and
capable to assume the full responsibilities of marriage get married, if you can't do that you cannot
get married. Unless obviously you have someone helping you like your father or your folks, that
would be okay. But when we have because of a culture where following that is against the Islamic
		

			teaching imposed on the bride to pay money to get married, so the dowry comes the other way around
an Islamic unacceptable. What happens we say that girl has to come up with the house, the car, her
entire salary, she must serve the husband's entire family, she must come up with the furniture, the
clothing and everything else. And on top of that she must be smiling all the time and be at the beck
and call of the whole tribe.
		

			And she must be okay with that. That's an Islamic that's prohibited. That is what caused what our
Isha did. And that is haram. Let's never blame Islam for something that Islam has prohibited. And
some people have done it who may have been Muslim, but that culture needs to be addressed and it
needs to be modified because it is wrong.