Mufti Menk – Could you actually be a role model

			So today we'd like to talk about reaching out to others. And it starts from the point of birth, we
reach out to our little ones, but that Allah has made the heart in such a way that there is an
automatic connection between you and your child automatic.
		

			It would require a person whose qualities are far away from humanity, to hate their own children at
the point of birth, may Allah Subhana Allah protect us. Because nature Allah has placed within your
heart a connection. And that connection would obviously lead to you loving the child, we find
children very cute. If Allah wanted he could have made children such that they will not cute perhaps
they became cuter later on. But children are cuter than adults, Would you not agree? And that is
something amazing. It's a gift of Allah, you look at the child who's not even yours. And the mere
fact that those innocent eyes look at you immediately brings joy to the heart, that is the plan of
		

			Allah, what will you do as a result, we have children do we just spoil them in the name of love, and
do we just give them as they want what they want, if that's the case, we fail our test, but we give
them through the love that which will be beneficial for them, by the help of Allah through the
guidelines set by Allah Subhana Allah to Allah given by Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So, it
is important for me to understand the interaction that Allah has kept the interaction that he has
kept for survival with other human beings. If I were to ask you a question, who provides for you?
Your answer would be Allah, who gives you who sustains you Allah. But remember, Allah's plan is such
		

			that he uses other human beings to be a means for something to get to you. Let me give you one
example. You want to earn, you have a qualification? For example, can you just sit at home and think
to yourself, Allah will provide?
		

			Can you do that you need to get up and apply for a job, you need to get up and do something, when
you apply for a job, what will happen, someone will call you for an interview someone a human being.
So you cannot say look, this person is not providing for me, so I don't need to talk to them
properly, you need to go and you need to show them your skill in order to prove to them that you are
deserving of that post. Because if there are 20 people 50 people vying for the same post, you will
not get the job unless you happen to be a person who is outstanding somewhat somehow, and then you
get the job. So you go out you have to show them what you have. This is not an Ibadah in the sense
		

			that we are not showing them an act of worship. But we are showing them a skill that we have in
order to prove that we are deserving of what we are asking for. That was the plan of Allah. So you
got the skill you went out, you had to make an effort, then every day, you have to get to work at a
time that was already fixed. So it's either nine to three, if you're very lucky, or eight to five,
if you're still a little bit lower down the ladder, may Allah subhanahu wa taala make it easy for
us. Why I say this is because our children also need our time. And we ask Allah to help us such that
as we progress and become older, we have more time with our family rather than the other way around.
		

			So if you get your job, you will need to mix with people you need to interact, you have your mobile
phone, when you phone you talk to someone how you talk is reaching out to them, how you interact is
reaching out to them. What is your duty, your duty is to live by the example of Muhammad May peace
be upon him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that is your duty. That is my duty. Sometimes we know his
example. But we become oblivious of it for some reason. We throw it at the back of our minds, and we
lead the life thinking we are good Muslims. And that's it without implementing what we've learned.
		

			Some time sometimes when we go to universities, we learn so much for so many years. But how much
will you actually implement when you get your job? It's a small percentage of what you've learned.
When it comes to Islam. That is not the case. Whatever you learn, implement, whatever you know about
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam you put into practice, this is the gift of Allah and your test
is to ask yourself, Am I putting more and more into practice as time is passing? Or am I becoming
worse? May Allah subhanahu wa to Allah protect us and grant us ease? So this is why my brothers and
sisters to mix and interact has been kept the plan of Allah, how do you mix with others and how do
		

			you interact with them? In order to answer that you need to ask yourself, Who do you mix with and
who do you
		

			interact with.
		

			Firstly, as you're growing older,
		

			when you're a little baby, you don't even know how to speak. And then your parents teach you how to
speak or those around you teach you how to speak. From that time, let's put ourselves into the shoes
of parents for a moment. It is your duty to touch the lives
		

			of your own children in such a beautiful way that they learn manners, they learn good language, if
you are to swear and to use foul language, how would you have touched the lives of your own children
in a very dirty way, in a way that when they grow up, they will be even more vulgar than you? Is
that called Beautiful touching of the lives of your own children. When we say others, you start with
your own family. And this is why Allah subhanho wa Taala when he sent Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, he instructed him at a certain stage saying what
		

			Vashi otter cattle up on OB GYN warn those who are close to you that circle, the family and the
broader family and so on a Shira those who are from your kinsmen, your tribe and so on. That was the
beginning it was the first circle, it does not mean that Islam stopped at that. No, it was just a
circle to start with. If my inner circle is ideal, and good, and I've worked on it, I will be able
to be more successful with the broader circle. But if I've not worked correctly on the inner circle,
then how do I expect to succeed when it comes to the broader people? May Allah subhanho wa Taala
grant us a deep understanding.
		

			So my brothers and sisters, take a careful look at how you talk to your own children, how you
interact with them, how much time do you give them, it is important that is an act of worship. It is
an act of worship, teach them mannerism, to begin with through following your example. So sometimes
in some homes, there is not much of instruction dished out by the father or the mother. There is
more following example they watch your etiquette and mannerism of eating and they will follow suit.
Do you know that so if you start with Bismillah before you eat, and you make it loud and clear, they
will also say Bismillah before they eat, sometimes you did not yet tell them anything but you touch
		

			their lives in a beautiful way. So they just follow you read your Salah on time, the other than goes
everything stops, you touch the lives of your child, they will learn without you instructing them
that the time of Allah they will give up whatever they are doing and they will come towards the
salah they will fulfill it. This is why I always say you find a one year old child getting into
sujood because Mum reads Salah because Mum is in sujood and this is why you find little children
wanting to dress like their parents, you know a lot of us Subhanallah on a Friday, we like to dress
with a job what is known as a Contura. We like to dress with the job, you find your little children
		

			will say that I want to hear the same thing. I want to hear the same thing. Why? Because they they
feel automatically a connection to you. How do you touch the lives now to in order to be able to be
the most effective with your children. You need to watch how you are with your spouse.
		

			Amazing look at the connection. Everything is connected. If I want to be effective with my children,
I need to make sure that with my own wife, I am so decent that when my child grows up, he will know
how to interact with the opposite *. He will know what the mother is all about what a wife is all
about. He will know that you have to talk to her with respect, you will know that you are not
allowed to scream and yell at your spouse. But if I am such a bad example, I will touch the lives of
my children in a negative way such that when they look at a woman they think you need to shout you
need to scream. You need to yell or the other way around. Sometimes you find the women yelling and
		

			screaming That's the only thing they know May Allah not do that to us they will not be from amongst
those. This is why it is an act of worship to be kind and good to your spouse or Eurocom Eurocom
Leah Herlihy, the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he says and we know that
hadith, he says the best from amongst you the best to your spouse, those who are the best to his
spouse or his or her if we were to take it the other way around. Sometimes we can even add family
members to that meaning of that beautiful Hadith. So, the reason is, if you are good within your
inner circle, you have contributed towards the positive growth of society and humanity at large.
		

			But a person who is hypocritical he goes out and preaches one thing, and then internally within his
own family, he is a harsh person, he cannot forgive, he cannot overlook he wants everything as he
wants it when he wants it. If that's if that's the case, you will not be able to teach your children
how to grow and how to live with their own spouses. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah grant us goodness,
as your child grows and they want you let us lay
		

			A good example let us set that beautiful example