Mufti Menk – Choice of Spouse Determines Your Entire Future
AI: Summary ©
The speaker advises a caller to settle before they pick a card. They suggest that finding a spouse is a difficult decision for most people, especially when they have recently changed their behavior. The speaker also advises the caller to let things settle and see how they feel.
AI: Summary ©
How old are you, brother?
25. 25. Okay. I wanna tell you what
I would tell my own son.
At at this stage, because you're a recent
revert, I'd like, things to settle a little
bit before
you don't have anyone in mind, do you?
No. So
I'd like you to let things settle a
little bit before you actually pick that card
up, unless
unless
something
unbelievably
amazing
crosses your path.
Okay.
This is the advice I would give my
own children. I'd say, look. You know what?
I don't think it's the right time right
now. Your age is right. Everything else seems
to be right, but because you've made
this huge change in your life, let it
settle a little bit. You don't want to
be taken advantage of. That's all.
When it settles a little bit, you'll be
in a better position to choose because
the choice of spouse determines your entire future,
in most case, unless a divorce happens, which
we don't want. But it does happen. I
mean, people have been through it. Good people
have been through it as well. It's not
a bad thing. Sometimes you made a mistake,
or sometimes people change over years. You know?
People say, well, you get married. It can
only get better. I know of people that
get married, and it only got worse.
And then later on, they separated and split.
It's okay. That's the reason why it's permissible
to go through divorce. But
I would say if things settled and you
looked at things, you know, you you you
would be able to
understand better what type of a spouse you
want. Because sometimes
when we revert to Islam
and we're overwhelmed, I'm speaking of experience from
speaking to people,
at times where people fall into different categories,
some become so harsh and extreme, and they
wanna practice everything
in a way that they start believing this
guy's not Muslim, these guys are Kufar, these
guys are hypocrites. Those guys are astray. I'm
the only guy on the right path, but
my brother, you accepted Islam 5 years ago.
You know? You have to chill, man. You
have to be in the right company. You
have to calm down.
Yes. You need to be hard on yourself
in the sense that do the best you
can given your capacity, but don't look at
others like they're not Muslims, and they're this,
and they're astray. No. That's not true.
They they they're believers. They may be struggling
in their faith. You come in to help
them, not to just label them and kick
them out of the faith.
So I'd like to think when things settle
and you see the way
you feel, you feel settled, Allah will give
you a feeling within you to say, you
know what? I think it's the right time
to to to find a spouse and to
get married. You have the urge to have
some companionship,
alhamdulillah, and this applies for both male and
female.
It's just that if something comes up in
between, you know,
tonight, who knows? You might walk out of
here, and who knows what might happen?
You might come back to me tomorrow at
the event and say I'm getting married. I
say well done.
Alhamdulillah. Do your just like we do shahada,
we do your nika, inshallah.
May Allah bless you, my brother. So that
would be my advice.
You you will know, inshallah, when you're ready
for it, and if something crops up that's
absolutely
amazing, you know, it's really
made you skip 1 or 2 beats and
and you feel that wow this is from
Allah,
let me then
go through it, see,
I always say meet each other, meet again,
meet a 3rd time, ensure make sure that
it's the right person. It's not wrong to
to meet and then to say, you know
what? I'm not too sure about this. I
don't wanna go ahead with it. It's not
bad, but sometimes
when
a lot of the women feel very let
down when you've met someone twice or thrice
and and then say, no, I don't think
it's a good idea. They say, you abused
me. You you led me on. You cheated
me. No.
That's why in the first meeting try and
determine yes or no. Done.
And the second one should only be if
the first one is a proper yes, and
you meet again, you get to talk to
each other, you speak to each other about
things, you you know, what's going on and
so on, help. You will have to help
each other. Marriage is a struggle. It's it's
a sacrifice,
you have to sacrifice a lot, a lot,
and that's when you enjoy the happy moments.
May Allah make it easy, may Allah bless
you
may Allah grant you goodness
may Allah grant you a spouse that will
be the coolness of your eyes