Mufti Menk – Building Bridges Through Adversity – Hong Kong
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of interaction and sharing among people to fulfill one's goals. They stress the need to interact with others in a way that helps the individual achieve their desired goals. The importance of finding a good partner, avoiding toxic behavior, and building a strong faith and deduction system for children is emphasized. The speakers also emphasize the importance of finding a partner who is the best fit for the situation and avoiding distraction and interactions with people. The segment ends with a recap of the day and week.
AI: Summary ©
As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Bismillāhi wa-l-ḥamdu lillāhi wa-s-salātu
wa-s-salāmu ʿalá Abdullāhi wa-rasūlihi Muḥammad
wa-alá ālihi wa-sahbihi ajma'īn.
When Allah Almighty created us, He made everyone
of us unique.
We've said that before and we're repeating it
now.
And one of the reasons He made us
unique, one of the many reasons is because
He wants us to earn a reward by
interacting with others in a way that we
would require adjustment in order to get on
with those who are closest to us in
relation and in proximity.
So that means if you have a brother,
same mother, same father, and you are in
the same home, you've grown up, and you've
actually become slightly older, there will be differences
between you and your brother come what may.
Part of your reward is to get on
with the person who is related to you,
this brother of yours, to adjust in a
way that you would fulfill each other's rights.
That's part of the plan of Allah.
No two people are the same, even if
you're twins.
This is part of the plan of Allah.
And that's why He emphasizes so many times
in the Qur'an, and it is emphasized
in the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, peace
be upon him, to fulfill and to go
out of your way to extend to a
relative and fulfill his or her rights or
their rights.
Those who are related to you.
Allah, if He wanted, He could have made
us almost identical, but we're not.
He wants to reward you.
He wants you to learn, navigate.
Do you know what it does for you?
It gains you closeness to Allah.
You endured some of the hardship you might
have faced from that particular person.
Obviously there's a level, there's a line beyond
which you may not want to live together
or you may want to step back a
little bit.
But we're talking of the norm.
Most of us, you earn closeness to Allah,
you develop yourself as a human.
If you refuse to interact with a difficult
person, you're not going to develop.
Learn to interact with tough people.
Learn to interact with those who are abrupt.
Learn to understand the way people might be
for whatever reason that may be or for
no reason.
But if you are able to navigate through
the relationships with people who are difficult, you
are a developed person.
You are a very mature person.
You are a master.
You are a person who Allah has blessed
with the ability to get on with those
whom others don't get on with.
People, when they are born, they are born
upon fitrah.
It's the nature.
It's natural.
It's something that if they were left alone,
they would have grown up with certain ideas
and beliefs and norms that would have been
purer than if they interacted like we all
do.
You are very closely influenced by those who
were around you when you were young.
Very closely.
That's part of the plan of Allah.
مَا مِن مَوْلُودٍ إِلَّا وَيُولَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ The
hadith of the Prophet ﷺ states that there
is no one who's born except that they're
born upon nature, natural.
Something that is very, very natural.
Allah Almighty allows that person to grow based
on whoever is close to them.
If you lost your parents and you were
brought up by a caregiver, you will speak
the caregiver's language.
You will learn their habits.
Whatever they tell you, you will believe.
It's programming that is much more sophisticated than
that of a computer.
If your people around you as you grew
up kept on telling you, this is a
good thing, you will believe that's a good
thing.
Even if it is absurd like what we
see on earth today.
Some absurd things.
People believe this is normal, this is natural.
Why?
Because that's what you were told from the
point of you being young.
People are not prepared to accept values and
morals that are common logic and they are
perhaps Islamic or to do with faith and
religion simply because when they were young and
they grew up, they were bombarded day in
day out that this is total nonsense whereas
it was not nonsense, it was the right
thing.
And that's why we have a clash today
on the globe where people say, this is
absolutely normal, it's natural but it's not, it's
unnatural.
And then there is an argument between East
and West in most cases, what is actually
natural and what is not.
I've seen people marrying trees.
A tree, can you imagine?
Now if you're marrying a tree and you're
going to look after children, they will all
want to marry trees.
And then when you and I go to
them and tell them, you know what, marrying
a tree is actually something absurd, they'll tell
you, you are the one who's mad.
It's happening on earth today.
Yes, I'm glad you're laughing.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless us.
It's laughable, but then when you laugh in
the next 20 years, they will jail you
for it.
Yes, they will jail you for it.
So remember, this is Allah's plan.
Allah Almighty wants the upbringing to be pure
and good.
That's why I say, do not yell at
your kids.
I know it's tough.
All mothers who have more than a kid
or two will say, come on Sheikh, you're
telling a...
even fathers sometimes.
Avoid it to the best of your ability.
Ensure you use respectful words.
That one you have to do.
If you raised your voice a bit, maybe
you might be excused to a degree.
But, if you have really tortured your own
child, that will come out and play out
20 years later and you will suffer the
consequences of that because of what you did
earlier and you don't even realize.
We have people who have tortured their children.
People who have molested their own kids.
Treated them badly.
Exposed them to things they were not supposed
to be exposed to at a young age.
And then they grow older and they are
suffering and struggling because of something that happened.
So, if we want to talk about relatives
and community and the storm and everything, you
got to start off right at the beginning.
To say, build.
Yesterday in my speech, I said something very
interesting that Allah teaches us to have a
mechanism in place before the storm.
تَعَرَّفْ إِلَى اللَّهِ فِي الْرَخَاءِ يَعْرِفْكَ فِي الشِّدَّةِ
Get acquainted with Allah during days of ease.
And then watch what happens when the storm
comes.
Allah will get acquainted with you.
Didn't we say that yesterday?
Today, I'm telling you, if you want community
and you want family and you want those
around you, I'm going to show you why
you definitely need them in a moment.
But, it starts off from the very beginning.
When you are choosing a spouse, choose a
good person.
You know the hadith says, فَذْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ
Be victorious or be a winner by choosing
someone who has deen.
You know what that means?
That means you must develop your own deen
within yourself to begin with.
What's the point of looking for someone with
deen?
You don't have deen.
Deen meaning your faith, your closeness to Allah,
your religion.
When you're getting married, you see looks.
Looks, very important.
You got to see someone, there has to
be a spark, a little bit of a
spark, so that you know what?
Wow, I'm attracted, mashallah.
There has to be a little bit.
But that's not everything because Allah has created
us in a way that there is nobody
who has everything.
Not one on earth, no one.
If you're very good looking, you might not
be so intelligent.
And if you're good looking and intelligent, you
might not be so religious.
And if you're religious and good looking and
intelligent, guess what?
You might have another issue with your temper.
Your character might not be that grand.
So something, somehow you're going to have to
compromise.
Allah says, don't compromise religion.
Everything else, you can always make it happen.
Sometimes you see someone stunning and they say,
wow!
And then they'll tell you, but that's not
wife material.
Have you heard that happening?
Why?
Because I can't imagine this person being the
mother of my kids.
Oh, if you're thinking that way, I'm impressed.
Oh, I'm impressed.
That's the right way of thinking.
However, what are you doing?
That initial marriage and the choice of marriage,
if you were a sharp, intelligent, wise person,
you would think about it deeper than just
the looks.
And you would say, I'm going to be
living with this person for the next 50
years, for example.
And inshallah, if Allah blesses us with children,
I'd like to see my kids like this.
Like this.
And this is both ways.
I'm not talking about men or women alone.
Both.
So when that happens, you're building the child
before the child is even born.
Because you've already put in place mechanisms to
ensure that if something does happen here, I'm
okay.
I've got someone at home who's going to
look after and appreciate, appreciate your family, appreciate
your children, praise them, build them, show them
respect, show them what you would like them
to be.
That's why we say, if you're not praying
and you've got kids, oh, what will happen
to those kids?
I know there are instances where kids are
praying and the parents are not.
But that's because of some other factor.
Maybe their friends, maybe the school they went
to, maybe some videos they might have watched
that were good.
But generally, if the parents are not interested
in something, in most cases, the kids are
not bothered.
They don't even know.
May Allah strengthen us.
Once you have that, and you're ready to
build your own family, do you know what?
You realize you cannot live on earth alone.
You can't.
People say, I just want to go, stay
on my own.
Okay.
I'll give you a small, silly example.
Say, I fell down right now.
Every one of you will be bothered about
this.
Hey, quickly take him to the hospital.
Someone will rush.
These guys at the front, they don't even
know me properly.
They would jump and they would come and...
Why?
Because you are my community.
You are my people.
We are together.
You are bothered.
If you had to raise a million for
something really, really desperate, I think we would
raise two million.
You can't do it alone.
On earth, you can never do it alone.
You think you can.
You think you want to be on your
own.
Do you know there is a blessing to
interact with extended family that is beyond the
toughness of the situation, but only if you
understand.
Again, I must say, I'm not talking about
toxic relations.
Because there is always a line beyond which
you can't let me, you can't force me
to interact when someone is so toxic.
It's affecting my brain.
But what we are telling you is, try
your best to adjust to people.
They have adjusted to you too.
Your way of talking is not the best
way.
My way of talking is not the best
way.
Look in to yourself and change yourself.
Ask yourself, how can I develop the way
I speak?
How can people do dirty, nasty things online,
offline, in certain circles, and Wallahi, if you
were to look at them, you would never
believe such a pious looking person could actually
do that.
Right?
There are two types of sins.
You can categorize sins in many ways, but
one of the ways of categorizing it, two
types.
One is the sins involved between you and
Allah, and the other is the sins involved
between you and another creation or creature of
Allah, mostly human beings.
If someone's committed a sin between them and
Allah, Allah can forgive them and will forgive
them.
Just by you saying, oh Allah forgive me,
I'm sincerely asking you, I was wrong and
strengthen me, I don't want to do this,
really, it was a...
What are those sins?
Say for example, a person drank alcohol.
Say for example, a person committed adultery.
Say for example, a person might have overslept
their prayers or something of that.
What happened?
Wrong things happened between you and Allah, and
you sought forgiveness.
Allah wipes it out in one flash.
One flash.
Don't ever doubt the forgiveness of Allah.
It's a sin between you and Allah.
It is there, we agree, it's wrong, I'm
human, I'm weak, I am not a perfect
soul, but my Lord will forgive me.
Yes He will.
Yes He will.
For as long as you are determined and
you are trying and you are sincere and
you are genuine and so on.
But the other type of sin is worse.
Why?
Because Allah wants you to interact.
Community will only be able to grow when
each individual within the community cares for the
other.
And you know what?
You as an individual will only be able
to grow if you're within a community that
cares that particular way.
Subhanallah.
You might say, nah, I'm alone, I earn
my money, I'm fine, I've got my online
business, I'm doing whatever.
I don't need people.
You know what?
You need people to buy from you as
well.
You're so good with your customers and clients
just because you want them to buy five
bucks from your shop.
Hi!
Hello!
How are you?
Walking, please!
Would you like tea or coffee?
If you told that to your own family
member, wallahi, you would have had a better
life.
I remember meeting, and I don't mean to
be weird or anything, but it's a fact.
I remember meeting a sister who was an
air hostess on a certain airline.
And she came to me and told me,
I need to talk to you if you
don't mind.
And I said, nah, it's okay.
She says, Muslim and mashallah, a lovely person.
May Allah bless them all and grant them
goodness.
She says, I've got a problem.
And her problem was within her marriage because
of journeys.
And I said, you know, I don't mean
to be weird.
But the way you were smiling at everyone
and trying to serve them, have you ever
tried that at home?
She felt offended.
She was offended.
I said, I don't mean, think about what
I'm saying.
Because faces changed instantly, you know?
And I said, well, if you're paid to
smile here, right?
You're paid.
Ask him to pay you.
Probably help.
And then I said, no, no, you know
what?
On a more serious note, all I mean
is if the problem is it's the interaction.
That's not on the level it is.
What happens to us a lot of the
times, you work, you're tired, you come back
home and you don't realize you have to
put an effort in the relationship.
You have to come back and you have
to smile and you have to say good
things as an act of worship more than
anything else.
You have to.
A lot of the men are guilty.
You come home, you throw your feet up.
You're on your phone.
You want to eat.
And then what happens?
You've ignored your spouse and your kids.
They don't even know you exist.
They just see you and they're going to
be worried about not making a noise while
you're there.
Let them cry.
Enjoy it.
The other day, there was a child on
the aircraft crying, crying her lungs out, a
little baby.
And I went up to the parents who
were trying their best, shaking the child.
You know, you shake your child.
Shaking too much.
I think maybe the child was crying because
of being shaken up.
And so I told the parents, I said,
don't worry.
Let the child scream her head off.
It's okay.
Let the child do because that's what children
do.
But what you're doing as adults, adults are
not supposed to be doing this.
No one's going to say there was a
particular person screaming and yelling because it's a
child.
The most they might say, especially when they
don't have kids of their own, they'll say,
I had a bad flight.
There was a child making a noise, right?
That's the most.
But a lot of the people who have
their own children, they won't even remember what
happened.
So I was sitting right near them and
I said, it doesn't bother me.
This is music to my ears.
I have had 10 of those.
How's that?
And they were so relieved.
Oh, wow.
And then the miracle happened.
I said, can I try taking the baby?
Guess what happened?
Yes, you guessed it.
I took the little baby and she was
quiet.
And then I said my statement that always
makes me pat myself on the back.
You know what?
Because you're stressed, the child feels the stress.
Because I'm calm, the child knows there's calmness
here.
Come on.
I'm standing in front of you literally screaming,
but you didn't realize I was screaming, did
you?
Do you know why?
There's a reason.
Think about it.
But nonetheless, Allah's created us in a way
that He wants you to earn a reward
by interacting.
I will interact with you no matter how
tough you are.
Up to a line.
When I say up to a line, it's
like an indemnity saying, you know what?
Beyond this point, no ways.
If someone's making you crazy, someone's abused you,
they've stolen from you, they've hurt you, they've
harmed you.
You give them a chance, two chances, the
third time you kick them off.
It's okay.
It's out.
I don't need this anymore in my life.
You have a capacity as well, but push
your capacity.
Push it.
You know, when divorce happens, we always say
it should be the last resort, right?
Not the first.
Oh, I had a problem.
This guy came home and he didn't look.
I want to go home.
Relax.
Chill.
Chill.
It happens to everyone.
Almost everyone.
Navigate through it.
Talk about it.
Communication is important.
The tough questions.
He might come up with a reverse argument
and highlight something that you need to change.
Perhaps.
And you highlight.
Give and take.
The point is sacrifice for those whom you
live with.
Sacrifice for them.
Sacrifice for your community.
Make the time.
Go.
Attend.
Participate.
Because alone, you can't do it.
You have to for whatever it is, you
have to always interact with people.
That's why Allah says in the Quran, وَلَا
تَنسَوْا الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ Don't ever forget to be
kind, good, virtuous towards one another.
You alone, you can't make it.
Imagine I go to the school.
I want to look for a place for
my kids.
When I go there, I'm going to have
to be on best behavior.
Guess what?
If I've been volunteering for the community, they
will look at me and say, Oh, mashallah
my brother.
How are you?
What would you like?
I need a place.
Ah, there's no place.
But don't worry, we're going to make a
plan.
What happened?
It was the community.
It was the interaction.
That's what happened.
I've had no relation whatsoever.
They won't even make a plan.
I come in with an attitude like I
deserve things.
They will tell me, even if they have
a place, sorry my brother, there's no place
here.
Meaning for you.
Right?
So, you have to use your mind.
Allah wants you to interact.
You're going to need a doctor in life.
You have to have some relations.
You're going to need, if you were in
a house, living all alone happily, one day
something happens, there's a fire.
Do you want your neighbors to say, fire
next door.
In the morning I'm sure we'll see it
all burnt down.
Let's go to bed.
Is that a believer?
No.
If you had a small relationship with, what
the Prophet s.a.w. says, when you're
cooking something, when you're making a stew, perhaps
you might want to consider the neighbors and
put a little bit more in terms of
the water content.
Water content.
And send them something.
Why?
It's to build a community.
To build a relation.
So much so that the hadith says, Jibreel
s.a.w. kept on coming and telling
the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him about
the rights of neighbors.
Neighbors not even related to you.
Why?
Until a point where the Prophet peace be
upon him says, I thought that he would
one day come and say that if you
were to pass away, these people share your
inheritance including your neighbors.
But he didn't say that.
But I thought he would.
That's how much he kept on advising me
and telling me.
Why?
Have you ever thought about why is your
neighbor so important in Islam?
In fact, the hadith says, those who harm
their neighbors have no place in paradise.
That's a hadith.
Those who harm their neighbors have no place
in paradise.
That's a hadith.
Why?
Allah wants you to go out of your
way.
He knows you're going to have a tough
neighbor.
He knows you're going to.
And by the way, when you're moving into
a neighborhood, it's your duty as a Muslim
to ensure that it's a good neighborhood.
Before you purchase a home, take a quick
look at the neighborhood.
How is it?
Will I fit into this neighborhood?
How's my neighbors?
How are the people?
You don't want to go into a neighborhood
and you're the only guy who's I was
about to say straight, but yeah, you can
say that.
May Allah grant us steadfastness on the straight
path.
Ameen.
They may be non-Muslims, no problem.
They may be people who are different from
you, different race, no problem.
All of that is good enough.
For as long as they're not toxic people
who have no morals, no values, no standards,
and they're going to keep harming you.
In that case, even if the deal is
so beautiful, I don't want to shift into
this neighborhood.
You're going to have to build a community.
Why?
When the storm comes, my brothers and sisters,
community is key.
You know, in different countries, different things have
happened.
I don't want to go into details of
the disasters.
Some man-made, some natural.
Can I tell you what?
The mosques have played a big role in
bringing the people together, in serving Muslims and
non-Muslims.
In Kenya, when there were riots recently, people
were saying that the masjid in the central
part of Nairobi opened the doors for the
people, generally, whoever you are.
One example out of a million.
What happened?
That's community, man.
Looked after us.
One day floods came in one area, and
this has happened more than one time.
What happened?
Everyone stood up for each other.
We looked out for each other.
We ran.
We went from one place to another with
little boats, trying to save people we don't
even know.
Imagine you had no relation or a bad
relation.
They would say, dying.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect us.
They would want to drown you even without
there being a flood.
Astaghfirullah.
I hope that's not the case.
But nonetheless, all this requires a sacrifice.
Without adjustment, it's not going to happen.
Today we're seated here.
I'm sure there's some VIPs sitting somewhere in
the middle.
We're all VIPs in a way, but not
everyone can be sitting in the front.
If you're sitting second row, be happy.
If you're sitting somewhere in the middle, be
happy.
I know I'm an important guy, but alhamdulillah
I'm part of the ummah and I'm going
to sit.
That is taught to us in the masjid.
What happens in the masjid?
Straighten your rows.
So you can't look at all those with
money?
Come to the front.
No, it doesn't happen.
You can have a person wherever they're from,
however they are, whoever they are.
You have a right to stand right in
the front.
I remember a guy who accepted Islam in
the masjid, in my presence, and I told
him, it's time for prayer, let's pray.
And he says, okay, should I just go
to the back?
I said, no, no.
You stand right in the front, right behind
this imam, slightly to the left, because immediately
behind him there needs to be someone who
knows what to do in case something happens
to him.
That's a hadith.
That the people behind the imam, immediately behind
the imam, should be people of knowledge or
people who know what to do in case
something happens to that imam.
And it's happened in various mosques.
Not so often, but it happens.
Where the imam, something happens to him and
the person from behind needs to take over.
How do you take over?
A lot of people don't even know.
So then why are you standing right behind
there?
Nonetheless, everyone else you can stand, and he
was shocked.
He says, I just became a Muslim and
I'm standing in front, right in the first,
and I'm looking at all these born Muslims
behind me.
You know what?
That's Allah telling you, you are a member
of the ummah.
Equal.
That's what it is.
Everything becomes irrelevant.
When you go for Hajj Umrah, irrelevant.
When you die, irrelevant.
The people with money are not going to
be resurrected in a VIP line.
No chance.
The VIPs are only the ones who are
closer to Allah.
That's his day.
Maliki yawm al-din Allahu Akbar.
The owner of the day of judgment is
Allah.
He will decide, hey, you guys come into
the shade here.
You guys, come into the shade here.
What's happening?
These are the people who were worried about
the shade of that day.
So they found out, how can I get
the shade of the day of judgment?
Well, there are so many categories of people
who will achieve that.
If you wanted to be one of them,
alhamdulillah.
But the point is, if you were one
on your own, nothing would happen.
Be fair.
Be just.
Treat people with proper respect.
You build a community.
You build your family.
And learn to communicate even the tough matters.
Talk about them.
Speak.
Someone doesn't like what you're saying.
No problem.
Say it in a respectful way.
We need to solve this problem.
Talk again.
Speak again.
In our families, there are people who suffer
silently.
Can I tell you what's going on?
Reality of the globe.
The minute there is more than a 40
year gap between people, you have a generational
change.
The brain is slightly different in its way
of processing things.
So if I'm 50, anyone who's below the
age of 10, I might not understand their
way of thinking.
In some cases.
In a lot of cases.
So in the home, because I'm a disciplined
person, sometimes my kids, I'm saying me, but
I'm just giving an example, right?
Sometimes my kids might fear addressing certain matters
in my presence.
It happens to a lot of people.
Because why?
Out of awe.
Out of respect.
Out of whatever it might be.
I need to go out of my way
to have a relationship such that they don't
fear to address anything in the way they
want.
And I need to stand up, rise to
the occasion and tackle it.
You know why?
I have to build a family which will
become part of the community which is going
to be a part of the ummah where
the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, says,
المؤمنون كالجسد الواحد إذا اشتكى منه عضو تدعى
له سائر الجسد بالسهر والحمى.
The مؤمنون, the ummah, the believers are like
one body.
Are like a body.
One body.
If a single organ is in pain or
hurt or injured, the entire body not only
feels the pain but has a fever and
suffers insomnia, cannot sleep.
What has happened?
You are struggling.
I'm in pain.
You have an issue.
I am bothered in a positive way.
I will never cheer on a negativity that
has been inflicted upon someone.
No chance.
No chance.
I will never cheer it on.
I will try to resolve them.
No matter who you are.
You have an issue.
It is my issue.
Let's help you.
If I cannot help you, I will pray
for you.
That's the least you can do.
Never ever say that I can't do anything
because that's never the case.
You can pray.
And can I tell you how Allah pushes
you to pray for others whom you know
and whom you don't know by telling you
when you pray for them, it's a prayer
for you and it's even more for you.
If I say may Allah grant you good
health my beloved mother and I tell you
that the angels are saying and grant him
good health too.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
Why?
Because Allah wants you to do that.
Pray for each other.
If you are supposed to pray for each
other and the reward is so big, so
big that the angels make dua for you
then surely Allah wants you to do that
on a daily basis and for you to
be encouraged to pray for someone.
You have to have a good feeling towards
them.
Imagine seeing a person who you really don't
like.
Are you going to say oh Allah bless
them, grant them ease, grant them goodness.
Wallahi I do that.
I've built myself slowly but I'm not a
perfect so I'm very imperfect.
I have so many weaknesses.
If you were to know them, I would
not be able to stand here.
But I will tell you, try to work
on yourself.
Even if you hate me, I pray for
you.
May Allah bless you, grant you ease, grant
you clarity of thinking, give you paradise and
grant you the best of both worlds.
Do you know why I say it for
you?
I say it for you because I want
it for myself.
That's the reason I'm a little bit of
a businessman there, right?
Yes.
Are you struggling with health?
Go and visit those who are struggling.
You won't be struggling anymore.
Community.
Look at how we're talking about the storm.
But from an angle where family and community
has to be a part of it.
Allah tells you, Why?
Allah does not have mercy upon those who
don't have mercy on people.
Why?
Why?
Because Allah wants you to be merciful.
So what is being merciful?
Being merciful is when someone is totally unreasonable,
you at least do not harm them from
your side.
Because if someone is unreasonable and you're also
unreasonable, it's one-one.
Two unreasonable people, there they are in the
corner.
Yes, but if one is unreasonable and the
other one is not, the other one is
getting a reward and there is hope that
the problem will be resolved.
Are you a resolver of matters or a
creator of problems or are you a person
who doesn't mind leaving the status quo knowing
that it needs to be resolved?
I tell brothers and sisters who don't talk
to each other over money, over whatever it
might be, over their wives and whatever else.
I said, you know what?
Solve the problem before it gets into the
next generation.
Because what's going on now, cousins who are
lovely people on both sides don't talk to
each other and they call each other names
and they warn the world from the other
brother's children when the problem was not resolved
in that one generation.
That's why don't do that.
You're a believer.
For the sake of Allah, as difficult as
it may be, bring up the discussions, talk
about it again and again and again.
And sometimes you might need to compromise certain
things.
When I say certain things, I mean little
items.
I have a habit.
If something has happened with someone, I'll say,
I'm sorry.
You know why I'm sorry?
I'm sorry because that word I'm sorry might
solve the whole problem.
Might not have been my fault somewhere in
the back of my brain, but I don't
care whose fault it was.
Am I going to solve the problem?
I'm sorry.
But if that person is trampling again and
again, guess what I've done?
In very few cases in my life, I've
just taken such steps back that I really
wouldn't like to see that person again.
I've got a few like those and I'm
sure we all do.
I wouldn't like.
Why?
It's not a matter of hate.
I don't hate them, but it's a matter
of I don't want the pain of what
they may do in my presence or behind.
I don't even want to know.
Thank you so much.
And you know what I say?
May Allah bless them, grant them goodness, and
whatever.
There are so many haters online.
I'm sure you've seen some of them.
I'm talking to you about my own haters.
And the reason is because the minute a
person has a little bit of a following,
you always have a few people saying, they
don't even know you.
They don't even know you.
We're sitting in the hall.
We're breathing the same air.
They haven't even breathed the same air from
five kilometers.
They don't have a clue.
And they have a fat lot to say.
You know what?
I love them all.
All of them.
Without exception.
All of them.
And you know what?
May Allah give them goodness and paradise and
grant them comfort and ease because if they
have comfort and ease, at least they will
stop hating.
Yeah?
A lot of the times people hate on
others because their lives are in a big
quandary.
They are in a big mess.
They don't have the happiness you have.
So they start pointing at you.
They don't have a spouse like yours.
They don't have children like yours.
So it goes back to community.
Don't boast.
Don't show off.
That's a hadith as well.
The one who boasts and shows off, what
is it?
It's not an Islamic thing at all.
Do you know why?
Because the weak heart might look at it
and become jealous.
Jealousy is a trait.
It happens.
You want to show off LV.
But you didn't tell them this LV is
actually a fake one.
I just paid five bucks for it.
You didn't.
Looks like LV.
What's LV?
Yeah?
May Allah protect us.
And then they are jealous over something fake.
How's that one?
Sometimes there's no LV.
You get a little app that can put
the LV on without you having the LV.
How's that one?
And then everyone says, oh wow, did you
see what she's got?
And she's flashing it.
I mean, relax.
You are intentionally or unintentionally, probably foolishly, creating
and generating hate in a community that doesn't
need it.
Leave it.
It's okay.
I'm not saying don't have nice things.
If people know to say, mashallah, this guy
he's got a Rolex, bro.
Alhamdulillah.
As long as you didn't do Brother, do
you know what the time is?
May Allah grant us ease.
I saw a clip with some guy who
was trying to show off his Rolex and
he's saying he wants to point there and
he's pointing like this.
Did you see the clip?
He wants to show the guys the watch.
Is it that way there?
And he's showing the watch.
Astaghfirullah.
If that's the case, you're showing off.
But if they notice you've got a nice
thing and mashallah, you can afford it.
It's not haram to have it.
I don't want to mince my words.
It is permissible to have the latest and
can afford it.
You've paid your zakat and your charities, but
do not become oblivious of your connection with
Allah.
It's better to chill.
It's better to calm down.
It's better because do you know what?
In a world where people are struggling financially
and trust me as much as everyone's level
has gone up, life has become expensive.
So when life is expensive, we're busy eating
every day out showing the people that you
know what?
Look at what I'm eating.
Look at what I'm...
and they are struggling to put a plate
of food on their tables.
What's going to happen?
You're not building community.
You're creating a storm.
You're not solving the problem.
There's no point in doing anything unless you're
a food vlogger as they call them.
And I don't even want to comment about
what my opinion is about food vloggers because
you know what?
May Allah grant them good health.
I'm a salad man.
I think the people who are close to
me, they know that, right?
We survive on salads these days.
But nonetheless, look at how Allah has beautifully
kept reward in all the difficult things because
if it's needed, you must be a part.
Don't just withdraw.
It's okay.
I will sacrifice.
I will get up in the morning and
I know it's a tough day but that's
life.
In life, you have to sacrifice.
You know what?
The people I live with are not so
easy.
For as long as I can manage, I'm
going to make a change and it's going
to take me two years.
I'm going to try.
I must repeat for the umpteenth time that
there is a point beyond which you as
a human, you might want to step back.
You know what?
I tried this for five years.
I really can't.
It's bothering my mind, my health.
It's affecting me.
It's really destroying me.
I can't step away.
No problem.
You're a human.
Allah will not punish you because you tried
and you couldn't manage.
But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala expects you
to try your best.
Even at a workspace, you're going into a
new workplace and you're going to have to
be introduced to people.
Some may like you.
Some may not.
Prove yourself.
But if you're a person who's a know
-it-all, that's it.
Argue with everyone, debate.
Chill.
Stop arguing.
A lot of us, because we're intelligent, we're
very argumentative.
We come across, we want to have a
say in everything, even if someone's talking about
oxygen.
We say, no, no, no, it's not how
you say it, it's how I say it.
It happens.
You know what?
Let them win the debate.
It's nothing.
When I was young, I used to argue
quite a bit.
I stopped it.
And I started distinguishing, is this a very
important topic?
No.
Then just smile at the guys.
And I know what you're saying is absolute
rubbish.
It's okay.
Makes you happy, makes you happy.
It doesn't really change the price of eggs
in Hong Kong, right?
It's okay.
It's fine.
But when there is something of importance, you
might want to have a beautiful, lovely, respectful
say.
And say, perhaps consider the fact that this
might be correct.
What did I do?
I didn't even push my opinion.
I just told you to think about it.
A lot of people do that.
They're intelligent.
They know how to talk.
They want to tell you, brother, the color
you're wearing is wrong.
Bright red, for example.
And you say, my brother, have you considered
wearing blue?
I think you'd look stunning in it.
I think you'd look more handsome.
No, I didn't.
What did you do?
You told him, don't wear this color.
But in a nice way.
Think about how you want to talk.
Why do we say this?
Community.
You're going to need this person one day.
You know, recently, I'm so sorry to word
it the way I'm going to word it,
but it's facts.
Expats who were looked at as people who
are low were the ones who came up
to help everyone.
As a result of which, respect for the
expats went up because people realized, hey, hey,
these guys are in our vicinity.
Something happens to our building, guess who's going
to help?
The toughest and roughest people.
And guess who they are?
They are the people who came from everywhere
else.
Here.
Did it need a problem and a storm
for you to realize that you've got to
be good and kind to the people?
Don't take for granted.
The simple greeting of someone where it's applicable
whenever you can.
Or at least a decent expression on the
face.
You know, there is...
many of us live in high-rise buildings
or buildings, right?
In countries like these.
I guarantee you, you don't know more than
2 people out of the 200 that are
living in your block.
Am I right or wrong?
Yes.
Why?
Because you haven't thought about it.
You haven't thought about it.
I'm not saying God have you a way
to know them, they might not want to
know you.
But at least make a small change.
If you've come across someone, interacted, at least
smile and give them a nod.
That's the least!
The least you can do.
Smile and...
That's what they do here, right?
Smile and give them a small nod.
What happened?
I don't speak your language, you don't speak
mine and I live in this building.
Guess what?
Don't worry, I'm a part of it.
MashaAllah, Tabarakallah.
If you're not going to do that and
you're going to frown and you're going to,
you know, have this...
Whenever there's an opportunity of interaction given to
you by Allah, you refuse.
What did you do?
You didn't think deep enough to build society,
community.
Anyway, today I spoke about your families.
Sacrificing for them, working on your children, working
on yourself, developing yourself, be hard on yourself
to become a better person.
Ask yourself, am I hurting people?
Do I say things, do things online, offline,
wherever it may be that would destroy community,
family, society?
Please don't.
Don't backbite about others.
If you want to talk about your mother
-in-law behind her back, only say good
things.
Can I tell you?
There is a religious reason for it, but
there is a social reason too.
The social reason is, news goes around.
Screenshots go around.
And you know what?
You will come crashing.
Look at the sisters laughing, they know what
I'm talking about.
That is the building of societies.
You want to say something about me behind
my back?
Say very good things or keep quiet.
In front of me, you can tell me,
hey, my brother, you know what?
You have X, Y, and Z that I
think you need to deal with.
A guy like me, I take it.
I say, thank you so much.
The other day, someone wrote a post about
me.
I went in the comments and said, thank
you so much.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
That's it.
Consider what they're saying.
They might be right.
They might be wrong.
We're not perfect.
Even I'm standing here in front, I'm not
perfect.
I really would be very happy if anyone
sent me an email to correct a thing
or two.
I would be excited.
Why?
The only way you and I are going
to develop is when you are corrected.
And when you are thankful to be corrected.
And not everyone is going to correct you
in a way that you like.
Some of them might be abrupt.
Some of them might be distasteful.
But if they've corrected you and they are
right, change yourself and you won't regret having
changed.
No matter how it came to you, it
becomes irrelevant.
I've developed as a result of people telling
me, don't do this and do that, and
you did this and you did that.
That's how we grew.
If you're not prepared to be corrected, you
will never be a decent member of your
own family.
And of your own community and society.
May Allah Almighty grant us all peace, goodness,
success, and may we be a community that
really sticks for one another.
May we be able to reach out to
one another in whatever way we can.
When a storm happens, don't ever look at
others and say, why is that person not
doing this?
And why is this person not doing that?
You look at what am I doing and
if you know what you are doing is
to your capacity.
The others are not entitled to determine what
your capacity is.
You know your capacity and where you could
go to if you want to encourage others,
encourage them positively.
But if you are negatively going to bash
others for not doing what you think they
should have done, you're going to be destroying
society, community further and create more storms out
of one storm.
Rather than that, learn to be a person
who thinks before they do things and think
very deep and don't think with your emotions.
Try your best to be a reasonable person.
May Allah bless us all.
I conclude by saying this.
May Allah's peace, mercy and blessings be upon
the Prophet Muhammad.