Mufti Menk – Advice upon Marriage Officiation – Nikah

			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah, Allah, he was had his Rahim, my
beloved brothers and sisters.
		

			We are very happy to be here sharing these beautiful moments with the families of the bride and the
groom. And about to witness the affiliation of the sacred union of nica,
		

			which comes with great responsibility.
		

			And this responsibility is something that definitely needs to be fulfilled from all parties, and by
all parties, from amongst us, they are those
		

			primarily those who are getting married.
		

			And I want to give them the words given by Allah subhanho wa Taala, repeated by Rasulullah
sallallahu sallam, wherein he says it duckula be conscious of Allah, remember, you are taking each
other with the name of Allah. Don't forget that. Don't do that, which will displease Allah. Don't
swear, don't scream, don't shout, don't yell and don't be abusive. That's it, respect each other.
These are the words of advice from Allah Himself, the maker who made us, the Prophet Muhammad, peace
be upon him himself, who is the greatest of creation, the most noble of all prophets of Allah. He
says, Fear Allah, be conscious of Allah, treat your spouse with respect, fulfill the rights of each
		

			other. So inshallah, the beginning of this beautiful union should always be within that which will
please Allah then from amongst us, besides the bride and the groom, they are the family's bride
side, groom side, you have to have a lot of patience, you have to compromise here and there. Because
there are two different families in every case. In fact, if you are too closely related, you're not
even allowed to get married, because that would make you a Muhammad.
		

			So Allah wants you to go a bit further, he wants you to make relatives, he wants you to fulfill the
act of worship known as taking care of your relatives, by giving you the chance. A few days ago, I
was speaking to a group of youngsters who didn't know their forefathers their names. And I told him
Do you know, to get to know the names of your relatives is an act of worship? How are you related to
that uncle? They'll say, Well, my sister in law's brother's wife is actually
		

			you know, the daughter of such and such a person's uncle. Whoa, it sounded so complicated. The fact
that you know it, you have a reward, you know why? Because it's only when you know, a relative that
you can fulfill the right of a relative, I mean, how can I fulfill your right, I don't even know,
your connection between the connection between you and I. So we will be related. And the reward is
connected to the fact that it's not easy to get along with people further away. even closer, it's
not easy. So there's a bigger reward.
		

			You must learn not to be too fussy about things. You must learn not to one things your way all the
time. You must learn it. It's an act of worship, what is it? It's not something foreign, or haram.
It's something else, where to eat, what to eat, what time etc. You can have a change here and there,
no big deal. Just be happy and lead your life. May Allah grant us is the problem with us when we
want to control the lives of others. It depicts the biggest weakness in us. The strongest people are
those who don't have the urge to control the lives of everyone around them. Those are strong. Why?
Because I know my link with Allah, Allah allows them to do certain things, who am I to disallow
		

			those things? So that's a very important piece of advice. Similarly, from amongst us, we are those
who are married. It's important for us to work on our marriages. Like I said, we may have turbulence
it's normal to have a few disagreements, a few misunderstandings, but it's not normal, to make that
a source of abuse and the source of discord to the degree of belittling someone hurting them harming
them. No. Let's solve our problems. To solve your problems is an act of worship, major act of
worship, the or and speaks about it. Laffy Rafi khatim, in Nigeria home in lurman Mr. Ravi sada 13
Alma roofing is law in Benin. Allah speaks about
		

			There is no goodness in private meetings unless you're doing one of a few things and one of them is
trying to resolve matters between people. You have a private meeting people say why are you guys
meeting in private say, look, we're trying to solve a problem. Allah says, Wow, you are rewarded for
that.
		

			Then from amongst us, there are those who are not married.
		

			Make an effort, inshallah. Don't be too fussy. Sometimes you have to compromise a thing or two, you
will never get 100% if you get 8090 or 80 is brilliant. It's absolutely amazing. Mashallah 80%
compatibility. That's like a match made in heaven. Subhana Allah match made in heaven 20% you have
to compromise, there's no chance that you're going to get 100% compatibility. So thank Allah, make
an effort. Don't delay unnecessarily. And sometimes we're in a comfort zone. When you're single, you
become accustomed to this comfort zone, male and female. And so you don't want to emerge you don't
want to come out. You don't want to dive into the deep sea. You have to, you have to otherwise life
		

			does not continue. So Mashallah.
		

			To the groom and the bride. I say, may Allah bless your union to the families I say, may Allah bring
you together in his service for the betterment of yourselves and the communities and for service to
the dean.
		

			Now, just quickly before I officiate this * I will start with a few words of hope, but it's the
sooner practice of the profs are seldom to say a few words of advice at the occasion upon the
occasion of nikka I've already said words in English we'll say it in Arabic will read a few verses
inshallah you will hear them thereafter. There are so many ways of officiating this *, we can
actually bring the I was in Nigeria last week, and we officiated about seven, eight there, they
don't play games, everything is wholesale. So when there's a nikka, there's not just one *,
there's about 10, five one time, you know, so there were so many cars that had one football and they
		

			can they, you know, made the nicus happen. Neither the bride is there nor the groom. The bride is
representative by her father represented by her father, and the groom is represented also by someone
of the home either an uncle or a dad. Neither of them are there. I'm sure you guys are not really
accustomed to that, right. Two of them are somewhere else. The one guy says, Oh, I was busy at KFC
eating. I said, you know, and he was getting married. So they, they that's how they get married
there.
		

			And some imams would make you hold hands, because obviously, you know,
		

			it's an it's a sacred union. And instead of asking a question to you, have you given your daughter
or do you give your daughter? They would make you say the statement?
		

			It's the same thing. It's just that
		

			they make you say it.
		

			And then what we do, and especially during COVID, we've actually a lot of people have said, You know
what, rather than coming and shaking hands and all of that, we can ask the question simply, have you
given your daughter? Yes, I have. Have you accepted? Yes, I have and we're done. The nikka has done
there is an E job. The proposal there is an acceptance there are witnesses. There's a ma you don't
need to know the exact model for as long as they know it's fine. Because the reason is model is not
a competition. For us. We say how much is it? They say one Krugerrand Oh, wow. That's a common one
right? The half a Krugerrand, right? They might say 1000 5000 grants 2000 1000 grants, I swear I've
		

			been to a place where they said 200,000 US dollars.
		

			And in my mind, I said I never mentioned this in the public. Because it's not a competition. The
other guy said you gave 200 I give 500 it's not a competition. Look after my daughter. Even if you
didn't give much, it's fine.
		

			I want you to respect my child. That's it.
		

			So insha Allah let's do it this way by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala