Mufti Menk – Faith and Family

Mufti Menk

Stories of the Prophets, Conference, Colombo Sri Lanka. 29 November 2015.

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The importance of man creation by Allah subhanho wa Taala is discussed, including the belief that everything is possible and that everything is possible. The importance of fulfilling rights to be loved and doing things like being kind to parents is emphasized, along with the importance of resolving family members' problems and making plans for a certain period of time. The success of Islam as a way to make connections with people and finding the right person is also emphasized.

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			salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato
		
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			Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Alhamdulillah or praise is indeed due to Allah subhanho wa Taala Lord of the worlds wa Salatu was
Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy he woman wanna blessings and salutations upon Muhammad
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his entire household, all his companions, we ask Allah subhanho wa
Taala to bless every single one of them. And to bless every single one of us to bless you all and
your children, your offspring, your loved ones, may Allah bless the entire oma And may Allah bless
humanity at large. I mean,
		
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			my brothers and sisters, if you take a look at the creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala, you will
find that they have been created differently. If you take a look at human being, we were created by
Allah Subhana Allah to Allah in a unique way. Allah subhanho wa Taala created Adam alayhis salatu
salam from dust thereafter mixed with water to become clay thereafter. Allah subhanho wa Taala blew
in him the soul and he became just like you and I somehow Allah look at the skin. Look at everything
that Allah subhanho wa Taala has caused to become alive and to disperse on Earth. It's amazing. It
is something unique. It is a miracle. It is divine and it is solely and only from Allah subhanho wa
		
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			Taala. So we believe that we were created from soil or from dust as Allah subhanho wa Taala says
that he has created man from soil from dust. And at the same time, the multiplication happened in a
unique way. It is reported by nicotine in lb Dahlia when niharika that Adam alayhis salam when he
was created, he was the only one of his species and he felt quite lonely. And Allah subhanho wa
Taala gave him a gift as a result of his call to Allah subhanho wa Taala to remove his loneliness,
and that gift was in the form of Hawa or Eve May peace be upon her. One day he was asleep Allah
subhanho wa Taala choose to create a wa alayhi salatu was Salam from Adam and Eve Salatu was Salam.
		
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			So Adam alayhis salam May peace be upon him was created from dust from soil, there is no
contradiction when we say dust and soil and clay and so on. It is different stages of creation. and
thereafter Eve or Hawaiian as Salatu was Salam created from Adam and Eve Salatu was Salam. As a gift
to other Malays Allah, Allah chose to do this. And immediately there was a connection. If Allah one
two he could have created Hawaii has allowed in the same way that he created Adam alayhis salam,
Allah does not need anything to create something he can actually just say be, and it would have
been, he did not need soil or dust to create man in the first place. It was his choice to do that.
		
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			And some of the scholars make mention of an interesting point to say all men do not become arrogant
or haughty on Earth. Remember you are from the dust and guess what you walk on the same dust every
day. This is why in sort of Baja Allah subhanho wa Taala says, men have fall upon komachi
		
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			Dooku warming.
		
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			It is from dust that you will create it and into the dust you shall be returned. And from that you
will be resurrected once again. Don't become haughty or men. Don't let arrogance overtake you. Don't
become too proud. Remember your beginnings. Remember how Allah chose to create you may Allah
subhanho wa Taala grant us humbleness and humility. I mean, so the reasons why Allah subhanho wa
Taala chose to create Eve May peace be upon her or Hawaii salatu salam from Adam or many, some of
them we may know and some of them we may not know one of them and I can tell you is to create a
connection, a connection and a certain type of interdependency. We all depend on Allah and Allah
		
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			fulfills our needs, but Allah fulfills our needs, sometimes through some of his creatures. For
example, if I need something, I would have to rely obviously primarily we all rely on Allah subhanho
wa Taala. But Allah has given some people around me perhaps the ability to fulfill something I need.
So I am here today, there was a whole team that had to work in order for me to be here. The same
applies to you. There was an effort made and you had to perhaps register you had to make an effort
to be here. You may have needed the help of maybe a taxi driver, maybe public transport in any other
way that you may have made.
		
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			You will hear that was all because of Allah planned. So Allah subhanho wa Taala created one from
another in order to make a link. And this is why you take a look. Allah says at the beginning of
silicon visa yeah
		
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			soon Taku Banco de Fada
		
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			was
		
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			was
		
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			coffee Oh nice.
		
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			Oh man, be conscious of your maker, you're up your Creator, you're nourishing your cherished, you're
sustaining your provider, you're protecting your cure all that is included in the term Rob, old man
be conscious of You're the one who created you from a single soul and created from that soul, his
spouse, and from the two of them cause the multitude to spread on earth. And that was Allah subhanho
wa Taala as planned. So the connection is such that it was chosen by Allah if he wanted, he would
have not created one from the other.
		
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			He could have created them separately completely, either in the same way or in a different way. But
look at this, we believe that Allah subhanho wa Taala has a plan and what is the plan? We will know
it through revelation. This is why we look into the Quran. Take a look at what Allah subhanho wa
Taala says when it comes to marriage, you know, husband and wife together, they will cause by the
will of Allah, the divine power of Allah subhanho wa Taala the reproduction of the human kind in a
way that we have become a multitude such that we worship Allah subhanho wa Taala in a unique way,
and Allah subhanho wa jal has made us such that if you were to pause and ponder, we actually are
		
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			connected through mercy, through love through blood through so many different ways. And that is
something amazing.
		
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			Allah says, it's sort of to whom warming it
		
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			as well.
		
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			me go from the signs of Allah subhanho wa Taala is that he has created for you from you your
spouse's in order, or he has created with that something known as Mauer that no matter the fact that
you got married, if you married for the correct reasons, and you married with the correct method in
ways shown to us by Allah subhanho wa Taala, it would automatically create lower debt which refers
to a very high level of love, care, you have a concern that is my spouse, you have a feeling.
Without that feeling, how do you expect the children that may be resultant to live a life that is
upright and balanced? So Allah says, We've automatically created that feeling, the sense of
		
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			belonging, that and that love of a very, very high level which comes with care, and it comes with
concern, it comes with a sense of possessiveness, amazing. It comes with a sense of possessiveness,
that's my husband, that is my wife having to help people say that, so hon Allah, why do people feel
bad when something happens to their spouse, it's because they are connected to them. So Allah says,
Man, the mercy is also instilled by Allah subhanho wa Taala within the heart of both of them. So,
the minute this marriage takes place, there is a connection, imagine if there is that connection
between husband and wife, what do you think the connection will be between the parents and the
		
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			children, the resultant children of that same marriage. So Pamela, it has to be more powerful, it
has to be greater, it has to be of a higher level, Allah did not need to cause men to multiply on
earth in that particular way. But he chose that way. Think about it carefully.
		
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			If Allah wanted we could have grown on trees. If Allah wanted, we could have perhaps popped out of
the earth all of us could have grown a day will come when that may happen. In fact, the narration
makes mention of how on the Day of Resurrection when the earth will have a certain thick white
rainfall on it for a period of 40 whether it is 40 days or 40 years Allah knows best but as a result
of that there will be a growth of the humankind
		
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			Human beings will grow. So panela just like the trees grow if Allah wanted, that could have been the
case right here right now, it could have been how Allah subhanho wa Taala chose to cause men to
multiply. But Allah says his divine wisdom, he wanted the connection. So when you have children, now
you're looking after the children. Why? Because you feel a connection, someone touches your baby.
Take a look at what happens. You feel so so much, you know, possessive over the child, you will not
allow the child to cry, take a look at the mothers May Allah make it easy for all the mothers. You
know, many of the mothers go through what is known as postnatal depression. The reason is, the
		
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			changes that happen. So suddenly, after nine months of having held that child, the gestation period,
and thereafter, you still don't have a rest. You know, people think once I give birth, okay, it's
going to be easy, and it becomes more difficult. So the mother start thinking, when is this going to
end? Sometimes it's normal, it's natural. This is why you have your own relatives to give you a hand
Subhanallah Imagine if we were not connected to each other, and each one was a unit on his or her
own? How would we ever have been able to help one another without wanting something monetary, or
without wanting something material? It is something unique from Allah subhanho wa Taala. He kept
		
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			this in such a way that you have a link that you feel that you own this child yet you don't allow
owns the child. That is something amazing. Let me repeat that in different words. When you have
children, whose children are those, so someone will say my children? The answer is no. Allah has
given you temporary custody of those children he gave you when he wanted he will take them away when
he wants they belong to Him. This is why when someone passes away, what do we say? What is the drop
in the law when we're in a larger room, that's the primary supplication Indeed, we belong to Allah,
we will all of us as it is. We don't belong to our parents in the complete sense of belonging,
		
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			although we belong to them in the sense of lineage, and in the sense that they could say that this
was my child given by Allah, but we need to, at the same time acknowledge that Allah can take the
child away completely at any time. So Allah subhanho wa Taala has taught this to us. So we say what,
in what in Meghalaya, Raja And indeed We are all going to return to Allah subhanho wa Taala we are
all going to return to Allah. When the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was bestowed with
children. He was given many female children. And he was given a few male children and all his male
children passed away in infancy in infancy or childhood, and at the same time when he lost his son,
		
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			Ibrahim.
		
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			It was an example for us all. What did he say? He says, Yes, we are saddened by the fact that we
will miss this child. Perhaps tears will roll down. In fact, tears did roll down the cheeks, the
blesser cheeks of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but at the same time, if you take a look at
the statements that were uttered, he said, we will not say anything besides that which pleases Allah
in the lahemaa wanna Houma la vaca Lucia in wb Anthony mucem Indeed, for Allah is what he has taken
away. What Allah took away, it was his anyway. It was always Allah. If someone comes to you and
tells you look, I've given you something for a while. Keep it and when I come to ask for it, you
		
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			give it back.
		
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			Allah doesn't ask us when he wants the child back. He takes the child away. Do you know why we would
never agree? We would never agree to say okay, take my child back take my child away. No, we
wouldn't agree. Not under normal circumstances may Allah subhanho wa Taala help us and guide us.
		
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			So a lot takes the child away. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam said indeed for Allah is what
he has taken away It belongs to him anyway. And guess what he says he continues to say well ah hoo
Ma, and to Allah belonged what he gave in the first place. Anyway, it was always his way was the
child before I had the chance. What about those who don't have children they don't have because
Allah has not blessed them or bestowed upon them the children that is their test. When you have
children that is your test. When you have millions alone your test you have females alone your test,
you have nothing your test. You have children, Allah takes them away your test, you have children,
		
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			they are obedient initially and then disobedient, your test. You have children they are disobedient
initially and then obedience, your test. This is from Allah subhanho wa Taala. We believe in this.
		
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			So Allah creates a link, why does he create a link? Because as the child is born,
		
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			in fact, to complete the application at the end the province of Allah send them says, What Couldn't
you say in an interview be agile in Muslim, every single thing that Allah has created comes with a
time limit. A tag that has only the
		
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			date and the time it's going to expire. That's it. Somehow Allah, so you and I have a time 10
everything created has a time tag. Allah knows the tag. Allah knows the time Allah chooses the time.
It's not you and I
		
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			this is why a person who commit suicide has actually disbelieved in Allah subhanho wa Taala if they
were normal, and they did that, if they were abnormal, Allah knows best how he will treat them but
we are taught that suicide is prohibited. The reason is, life and death is in the hands of Allah,
the minute you decide to take it in your own hands, you have defined Allah subhanho wa Taala quite
simple. But Allah subhanho wa Taala help us May he guide us. So if you take a look at the mercy of
Allah subhanho wa Taala is he had for you parents, these parents, it was a test for them. They were
excited when they were expecting you. Yes, they were excited, perhaps they might have been going
		
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			through difficulty. Very much. So because it's not easy. The gestation period is definitely a period
that differs from female to female, but it comes with its own challenges. You and I notice, and with
that excitement, so panela the mother is ready to go through all that there is turbulence, there is
turmoil, for example, there is pain, there is suffering, as the child is becoming heavier. The
mother is struggling but becomes happier while my child is growing. Kicking.
		
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			SubhanAllah kicking like the child is playing football in the belly. I'm sure that women who've
given birth will tell you yes, that's what happens. You can actually see sometimes you know, the arm
and the foot in your muscle. Oh, you got hurt, but you say well, that's the foot. Can you see it? So
Angela, and the husband and wife enjoy this. They actually look forward to it. And then the the
actual childbirth is so difficult. Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks of how you need to respect your
parents, even if they are non Muslim.
		
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			Because your mother has looked after you and your mother has given birth to you in great difficulty,
and allies impose that upon your mother. So remember how you speak to your mother, be careful, it's
a test for you. You will always have to remember even if your mother is not a Muslim, even if she is
a disobedient Muslim. For as long as she does not instruct you to do something in the disobedience
of Allah subhanho wa Taala It is your duty to be kind to her.
		
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			It is your duty to obey her in that which is acceptable to Allah subhanho wa Taala kindness is
something that you have to show towards your parents. And the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam
reiterated this. So imagine if there was no link, and you were just created, and you are up for sale
up for grabs, what would happen?
		
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			People would lead a life. In single universe, no one would even need to greet each other if you were
sick and Ill I think if someone died, perhaps the majority of people would just rot at the spot
where they died like rodents May Allah subhanho wa Taala save goddess.
		
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			But there is a theorem, there is respect. There is a mutual mercy that is felt such that if someone
has to pass away, they are people who feel connected to them. This is the family, the family unit
starting with your spouse, your parents, your children, your brothers and sisters, there is a
connection, there shouldn't be a connection. Part of Alice test for you is to feel that connection
and to fulfill the rights within that connection. That's your test. This is why I always tell
siblings who don't speak to each other just because you've had a financial problem just because your
wives didn't get along just because your husbands didn't get along just because of some strange
		
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			reason. That is your test. Don't fail your test. Put those things aside your faith, your family, you
need to understand the connection between the two you need to understand how Allah subhanho wa Taala
has connected it from the very beginning had he wanted, they would have been no connection or like
they would have been absolutely no connection Allah says for you to come into existence we will use
people whom You will now known as no as parents. No matter who they are, none of us apply where we
want to be born, what type of parents we wanted, what type of upbringing we wanted. No.
		
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			It was imposed on us as part of our test from Allah subhanho wa Taala It is something amazing and
unique. And this is Allah subhanho wa Taala it is a lot planned to have this connection between the
two and it is something that is undeniable. It's a gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala so here we have
the connection given by Allah subhanho wa Taala take a look at it. My brothers and sisters if
someone has to become sick, say a baby a little child becomes sick or ill a cough for example,
perhaps if a child has if a child is struggling or suffering with what we know as you know
		
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			colic problem for example, the mother is unsettled the mother Why is the mother unsettled? There is
a connection created by Allah subhanho wa Taala between the mother and the child, the baby that
connection you cannot deny the mother will not sleep Subhanallah sometimes if you have a good
husband, Mashallah decent father of the child, the father might say, you know what you rest today I
will take care of the child Mashallah.
		
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			And you know, the others, they will say, Listen, I'm going to sleep elsewhere. Have you heard that,
Mashallah, I'm going to I'll see, I went to one on one interesting Come on, this cannot be my
brother, you had the child. Come on, you need to participate in this. You know, you might have an
understanding spouse, but you need to make sure that you know, that it's also your responsibility
and your duty, you cannot just run away saying I'm the maid. That's it. Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam
also helped looked after look after his own children, he also helped with the chores and so on. This
is the connection because when the children witness the fact the the the parents living in a
		
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			beautiful way they learn and when they learn, you are fulfilling your duty unto Allah to pass over
the torch of goodness and good character and Deen to the next generation. That is your journey. That
is what your faith teaches. And that is the connection between the faith and the family SubhanAllah.
One of the points of connection, Allah subhanho wa Taala has kept so many points of connection if we
take another look. And if we look at for example,
		
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			the rights that children have over their parents, you know, everyone speaks about your mother, you
must be kind to your mother, you must be kind to your father, you must be good to your mother good
to your father, what about the fathers and mothers being good to their own children? Like I said at
the beginning your child is not your property in every sense of the term. No, you cannot say this is
my property it is the property of Allah. Evidence of it is where we say in the law.
		
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			We belong to Allah and unto Allah We shall return this evidence pointing towards the fact that they
actually belong to Allah temporarily, he has given us custody of these children, and he has promised
us that later on, in the Hereafter, you will be reunited with these children of yours by the will of
Allah if Allah wills and if you have taken care of them, and if they are deserving of that and you
are too That's the mercy of Allah, many of us, when we look at our children, we get so happy so
delighted, Mashallah. And then if a child passes away, or even if a parent passes away, we would go
to the scholars and say, Look, will I meet my my son again? Will I see my mother again? Will I see
		
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			my father these are valid questions, they are answered by Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah subhanho wa
Taala tells us quite clearly, those who have followed through with the man, Allah subhanho wa Taala,
will unite them in the hereafter. So work on your children, you want to be with them? But have you
ever asked yourself? Why do you want to be with your children? Why are they called your loved ones?
Have you ever asked yourself that question?
		
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			It's because Allah wanted it that way, had he wanted it another way, they would have never been a
connection between you, you would have grown like fruit grows on a tree. And even if fruit grew on a
tree, and we grew like fruit, you know, grows on a tree, we would be connected because those from
one tree would probably view for each other. That's amazing. So the same applies. You have the same
parents, you should be feeling for one another. You should be feeling for your parents. That's,
that's the plan of Allah, you need to fulfill the rights of your parents and guess what your parents
need to fulfill your rights. You cannot just do anything you please for your child. The child wants
		
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			this, it's done, the child wants that it's done. Ask yourself Is it within the pleasure of Allah.
Similarly, when you want something for the child, ask yourself is it within the pleasure of Allah,
if it is not cut it out. That's your link with Allah and your link with your family, you will get to
Allah subhanho wa Taala. And you become stronger in your link with Allah subhanho wa Taala by
fulfilling the role that Allah has placed on your shoulders, as a parent, or as a child, or as a
brother, or as an aunt. And these are the closest circle that Allah subhanho wa Taala has kept. So I
can give you an example because it is really a major problem. When it comes to the marriage of your
		
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			children. What do you do? Have you asked yourself, my faith in one hand, what I believe in one hand
and my family, on the other hand?
		
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			What do I do? How do I treat this family of mine? Is it according to the faith? If it is not,
		
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			we have failed.
		
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			So your child wants to marry and the child says Dad, you know what? I am now 19 years old, 20 years
old, 21 years old, whatever it is, and I'm really interested in marriage. You know, I am at the age
where and the father is a wealthy man. All the parents are wealthy, and they say no son, you cannot
marry now.
		
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			You will only talk about it in 10 years time or five years time. Well, you are you are now following
your whims and fancies, you may want to discuss the matter, you may want to put forth what you felt
was your dream. But if the child wants something that Allah subhanho wa Taala has ordained has
permitted and you are blocking it, perhaps you may be encouraging them going down the wrong street
or the wrong Avenue. Remember this.
		
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			So the child says, I would like to get married and you say, No, I'm not happy with this, but you're
wealthy, you're okay. And you're saying you don't want to wait until this guy graduates or you
graduate who said you need to wait until graduation before you get married.
		
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			So panela discuss it with your child, if the children are prepared to do that, and hamdulillah if
they are not prepared to do that help them to get closer to Allah, bearing in mind that that child
is more belonging to Allah than belonging to you, your ownership of the child is very temporary and
it is not complete ownership. It is only what I would term, the custody of the children but the
ownership belongs to Allah. So it is your duty. It is your duty to fulfill what Allah has ordained
regarding the child, allow me take the child away now and allow me take you away now and you will
have to answer to the owner of those children. What did you do?
		
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			Allah says, Allah will ask you, I blessed you with children, you love your children. But when it
came to fulfilling what I have asked you to fulfill, you did not make it easy for them at all. You
did not make it easy. So Pamela, people say and I know of this problem, you know, a few years ago, I
did not believe that there would be something known as forced marriages on Earth. I really thought
we were beyond it. I think maybe in my part of the world, I did not witness it. I didn't see it as
we were growing up, Mashallah, we had quite a beautiful upbringing and Hamdulillah, we will we will
not open to see the rest of the world. But as Han Allah, we grew a little bit older, we began to see
		
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			what's happening on the globe, and the globe became a little village. One lie, I've come across
hundreds of cases, perhaps even 1000s of cases of parents forcing their daughters and even their
sons to marry people they really don't want to marry. And they think they threaten them and
blackmail them by telling them this is the obedience of Allah. If you want Allah pleasure, you
follow your mother, who said that nobody ever said that you will obey your parents where they are
wrong, nobody. So those of us who are parents, here we have children, Your duty is to facilitate for
them the worship of Allah and what Allah has permitted. You cannot come and blackmail them by
		
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			telling them, Look, if you obey me, Allah will be happy. And if you don't know the Quran speaks
about a son. While suena
		
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			bhiwani
		
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			Allah has instructed men to be kind to his parents, a lot did not say obey your parents. In fact, if
you get to the Hadith, where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was asked, man, have NASA be hosting the
host near Betty, who is most the most deserving of all the people? Who is the most deserving of my
goodness, my good companionship for me to be good with them. The term obedience is not used here. I
need to be good I need to be kind. Obedience is always to Allah. If they tell you something within
the instruction of Allah, you will obey. If they tell you something outside of what Allah has
permitted, you will not obey. So Allah says, in fact, in that narration, the prophet muhammad
		
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			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says,
		
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			Your mother, when he was asked again, he says your mother, when he was asked again, he says your
mother. So some of the mothers use it to blackmail their children. You see, the prophet SAW, Selim
says, I am more important than your father thrice. That's not the wording of the ad. You are both
important. You are both important if you follow what Allah has asked you, the moment you go against
what Allah has asked you, your importance diminishes, that's what it is. So do not impose on your
children, that which is within your whims and fancies suddenly, because you would like to show the
rest of the world that Oh, my daughter married a rich man's son.
		
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			It doesn't need to be rich. The Hadith says if a proposal comes in your direction, and you are happy
with the level of the team and the character of the individual, let it happen. If you don't, they
will be great fitna and facade on Earth. I'm sure I have spoken about this narration so many times
in the past, but the problem is, we still use our own criteria, and then we want
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51
			happiness, we want contentment.
		
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			We want so much of goodness in our lives, but the owner of that goodness, who is Allah subhanho wa
Taala. What he has ordained means nothing.
		
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			To us, this is where we falter. This is where we fail. My brothers and sisters, let's go back to the
teachings of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Understand your responsibility as a parent understand that the
child has rights over you. And that is they have a say in where they will get married, they have a
safe
		
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			Did you hear that? It's part of the rights of your children to have a say where they want to marry.
So panela people look at Islam and the Muslims and think that this religion is barbaric and
backwards suddenly, because we have added in the faith that which is not in it, and we have
subtracted that which is from it.
		
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			So we spoil it for ourselves. But if you were to follow the faith in its beautiful form, the form
that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam brought, then indeed you would find people looking at it
without finding a single issue with the deen no problems, no issues. This is absolutely amazing what
it is the word of Allah subhanho wa Taala no contradiction in it. Nothing wrong in the Word of
Allah. Never. If you feel that there is a contradiction in the Word of Allah, go and ask those who
know, fast and oh and love victory.
		
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			It was over. If you don't know. Go and ask those who know going ask those who have learned this
revelation, go and ask those with knowledge. They will respond to you they will give you an answer.
They will answer you if you look at this verse, it's amazing. It would mean that they will respond
with revelation and it also means if you have questions regarding revelation, go and ask those who
know
		
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			Subhan Allah, the problem with us, everyone is a no at all. Like when it comes to accounting, we
will ask the accountant when it comes to law, you ask the lawyer when it comes to plumbing, you will
ask the plumber, when it comes to
		
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			medicine, you will ask the doctor but when it comes to something that is more important than all of
that, which is your faith, we tend to know it all. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us a deeper
understanding of Revelation. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the understanding of what this
faith is all about. It is something unique. So the link that we have between the family
		
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			and the faith
		
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			is quite clear. Allah subhanho wa Taala has chosen it for us and he has made it clear
		
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			that there are rights to be fulfilled between you over and above that he has placed this love
automatic, you get married, there is love. We spoke about it. You have a child there is love there
is mercy, compassion, you feel it.
		
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			Your brothers and sisters Mashallah you grow up with them. Even if there was a little bit of sibling
rivalry. That's your brother, that's your sister. mending a relationship within the family unit is
something very, very great. It is an act of worship that is praised in the Quran. And the Sunnah of
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Imagine those known as the will Papa, your relatives, those
who are closely related to you, to fulfill their rights is a great act of worship. It's Allah, Allah
once it and Allah created you in a way that you have people you have to call your relatives, whether
they are Muslim or not, whether they are obedient to Allah or not, those are your relatives. Take a
		
00:33:34 --> 00:33:54
			look at Noah, Noah May peace be upon him. His son did not accept the message. He was one of those
who said to his father, you know what, I'm going to climb this mount. And the father says that's not
going to help you. But look at how the father addressed the son. The father says, Yeah, boy, Oh,
come on.
		
00:33:55 --> 00:34:38
			Man caffine Oh, my dear son, boo ne B'nai is a beautiful term, the son is a disbeliever the son did
not accept the message of the Prophet Noah May peace be upon him. But the father being a messenger
of Allah, knowing that he's right, trying to convince his child because there is a connection, there
is a responsibility, there is a duty, you need to remind you need to go forward. You need to make an
effort on your children. He says all my beloved son yamane, he will come and come ride with us come
and ride with us. So patola and don't be from among the losers the disbelievers Don't be from among
the reject is those who deny Don't be from among them. And the son says, Oh my father, I'm going to
		
00:34:38 --> 00:35:00
			climb the mountain. The point I'm raising here is the discussion between a messenger of Allah and
His own Son. Why there is a connection there is a link link created by whom, by Allah. Allah
subhanho wa Taala makes mention of mohalla is salams message to the rest of his people in so many
places, but Allah decided to make mentioned unique
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:39
			Clearly and, and intentionally of the sun, it is divine, because it shows us that even though the
sun is disobedient, there was a reminder that came in the most beautiful way with us, the child does
something wrong in the house and we begin to yell, we begin to scream, I don't want to disown you
and so on, hang on, relax, it can never be as bad as what happened at the time of mortality. So
you're not a prophet of Allah to begin with number one. And secondly, he Subhana Allah is not as bad
as what happened there where there was absolute comfort, you know, throwing away a messenger of
Allah subhanho wa Taala, who was a father
		
00:35:40 --> 00:36:01
			and saying, Listen, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not even interested. It didn't happen to us. It cannot be
that bad. But take a look at what happened. How you had a salatu salam address was repeated in the
foreign made mention of in the Quran, not for no reason for us to learn a lesson from there are so
many lessons from there. We've only mentioned one.
		
00:36:03 --> 00:36:07
			May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us fulfill the rights of our own our own children.
		
00:36:09 --> 00:36:25
			And may Allah subhanho wa Taala open our doors. When we don't have children, we have a problem. We
begin to cry. And when we have children, we have another problem. We begin to cry for so many
different reasons. Let's understand all this is a test from Allah Subhana Allah.
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:27
			Allah created us all.
		
00:36:29 --> 00:36:32
			Allah says I created you to test you that's what he says.
		
00:36:34 --> 00:36:35
			Listen to what he says.
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:41
			I love me Hola, como tal hyah Danny
		
00:36:44 --> 00:37:04
			Salama, it is he who created death in life in order to test you, in order to test you who from
amongst you has better deeds. That's why he created death and life in order to test you. So part of
the test is the fact that you were born to parents
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:22
			as part of your test, the fact that you have relatives, the fact that you have family members, part
of your test. In fact, that's the beginning of your test right at the beginning. That's your test.
You have children, what do you do? What type of schools do you send your children to? How much of
interest do you show in the
		
00:37:24 --> 00:37:37
			education of your children when it comes to getting to know Allah subhanho wa Taala I've seen a lot
of little clips where small children maybe two years, three years old as they begin to, you know,
speak
		
00:37:38 --> 00:38:17
			they are taught the capital cities of the whole world. They are taught this and taught I'm not
saying it's bad. Mashallah, but did we equate it with a little bit of trouble? And did we try to let
them understand things? Did we teach them about Allah? Did we teach them about truthfulness, about
kindness, about compassion? What did we teach them? Yes, people get excited about everything else.
But when it comes to the link with Allah, don't forget, we are believers. Like I said earlier, Allah
can take those children away. As soon as he gives them to you, they can give you you get excited,
and a few months down the line, the child is no longer with you what happens we cry? Yes, it's
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:48
			normal. It's human. We feel it. We are sad. We have sleepless nights. Some people cannot get over it
for a long, long time. But that was part of your test. Allah loves the child more than you could
ever have loved the child because the child totally and absolutely belongs to Allah in every sense
of the term belonging but for you, the child is not really yours in every sense. It's just for a
while Allah has given you the chance that's what it is.
		
00:38:51 --> 00:39:16
			May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us to fulfill our responsibilities. Similarly, when it
comes to children, as you grow up, and your parents become older, you become older. Why is it that
we find ourselves pulling away from these parents? Now you've got married and you no longer even
call your mother? To say mom How you doing? Is everything okay? I miss you. May Allah subhanho wa
Taala make it easy for us.
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:28
			The link with your parents as you grow older is part of your test. This is why if you look at the
dua made mention of in the Quran, where Allah subhanho wa Taala says
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:40
			regarding the drought that is to be made. And one of them is Allah says wakaba buka Allah tabuteau
in
		
00:39:44 --> 00:39:46
			Santa m
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:57
			ma, ma ma, ma, ma ma
		
00:39:59 --> 00:39:59
			ma
		
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			hola hola como una garima. Walk,
		
00:40:11 --> 00:40:11
			walk.
		
00:40:15 --> 00:40:15
			Walk
		
00:40:19 --> 00:40:21
			salvio.
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:33
			Allah says, he has ordained that you shall worship none but Allah, you will worship none but your
maker and you will be kind to your parents.
		
00:40:34 --> 00:41:00
			You will be kind notice he did not say obedience. You have to obey Yes, only within the obedience of
Allah subhana wa jal. But here he uses the term insulin, which means kindness, no matter who no
matter what, no matter what faith they belong to, no matter who they are. Allah chose them for you,
you will be kind to them. That's part of your test, no matter what, are you kind to your mother?
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:03
			Are you kind to your father?
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:10
			Are you? Well, the Quran asks you to be kind to them. And guess what Allah says,
		
00:41:11 --> 00:41:14
			when they grow old, one of them on both of them.
		
00:41:16 --> 00:41:58
			Never, ever abused them verbally, don't say something that will hurt them. The term used in the
Quran is off, which some say is the lightest of those terms. You know, when you just turn your cheek
and say to your parents, Allah says, Don't say that. Those of us whose parents are alive, remember
this. Do not say hurtful words to them. Use good words, it's part of your test, do not fail the
test, because you're going to go back to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And guess what? every answer to
every test your question that you've had is recorded, and you will see the results of it, there was
no point if you have abused them go and ask their forgiveness. If they've already passed away,
		
00:41:58 --> 00:42:11
			perhaps you might want to make do out for them. And who knows, perhaps Allah subhana wa, tada may
forgive you if they forgive you later on when they have seen that you've made a lot of new alpha
them, which has benefited them and help them.
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:34
			So what you and I need to understand these allies telling us that as your parents grow older, watch
out, it's not going to be easy. When you were a little baby, it was very difficult for them to look
after you. So as they grow older, it will be even more difficult for you to take care of them. But
don't tell them off. And don't rebuke them.
		
00:42:37 --> 00:42:46
			And when you speak to them, speak to them with good words, words which are acceptable Subhan Allah,
and then Allah says that you need to
		
00:42:47 --> 00:42:51
			lower the wings of mercy or spread the wings of mercy.
		
00:42:53 --> 00:43:32
			Be humble when it comes to your parents. It's your test, no matter what parents become difficult.
Sometimes you find a mother as she's growing older, you know, some of them might remain silent, they
won't talk much. That's their way of dealing with that age perhaps. And some of them will keep on
talking. So Pamela, you know, solar power. As soon as soon as the sun rises, they begin to speak.
And it doesn't stop until sunset Subhanallah that's part of your test. You may want to sit your
mother down and speak to her to say you know what, I suggest you speak a little bit less My beloved
mother. So Pamela, I know I'm speaking from my own experience. Mashallah May Allah subhanho wa
		
00:43:32 --> 00:43:44
			Taala, grant us goodness and acceptance, beautiful mothers of ours, sometimes they they want to say
whatever's in their heart, and they might not choose the best way of saying things because at the
end of the day, you're their child.
		
00:43:46 --> 00:44:00
			That doesn't mean you need to abuse them. They've seen everything. My mother's clothes on to 18
years old Bella Gunter goodness, and to be honest, she says things she says anything she wants, in
whatever way she wants. Alhamdulillah you have to take it.
		
00:44:02 --> 00:44:19
			And that's part of your duty unto your parents. from Allah subhanho wa Taala Be careful. You need to
be humble. May Allah forgive us all. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us revisit our relationship
with our parents. A day will come when you won't have them anymore Subhana Allah
		
00:44:20 --> 00:44:52
			so Allah subhanho wa Taala says, and say, of bilham, Houma Kamara Bayani sarila Allah have mercy on
them for him Do they have brought me up when I was a child in fact, the wording of that law is so
beautiful that it says in the same way, it's more like a compensation to say in the same way they
looked off to me when I was young, y'all I have mercy on them. Have mercy on them. And it could mean
Have mercy on them because they have looked after me. So how Allah
		
00:44:54 --> 00:45:00
			so that is a two hour that we are supposed to be making for our parents. So imagine if we are not
supposed to
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:17
			After one single word of abuse, and we're supposed to be making to our for them, what do you expect?
That is definitely something so great. The Hadith says the prophet SAW Selim was once uttering
certain statements and jabril la salaatu wa Salaam was uttering the term or saying amin
		
00:45:19 --> 00:45:22
			and later on, we got to find out that one of those two hours was.
		
00:45:23 --> 00:45:42
			In fact, he said, I mean to the draw of the angel according to some duration. And one of those two
hours was destruction be upon one who witnesses both or one of his parents in old age, and has not
earned the agenda through their service. Wow. Wow, that's a difficult one.
		
00:45:44 --> 00:46:06
			Which means you're given an opportunity to get into gentlemen through the service of both or one of
your parents when they grow older. So if your parents are old in your lifetime, it's a gift of Allah
is one of the doors of Paradise and the doors of Paradise are not easy to open. Remember that very
difficult. I always say that, yes, indeed, through Allah's mercy, we will intergender by His mercy
we will intergender
		
00:46:08 --> 00:46:31
			and sometimes it could just be a small deal that Allah has loved and He grants you agenda for but
when Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mention of entering Jenna through a deed remember that deed is
not going to be simple, you know, walk in the park. No, it's going to be difficult. It's going to
come with great dedication, it's going to require an effort and dedication.
		
00:46:32 --> 00:46:38
			And you might feel like giving up sometimes, you know, people say oh my mother Mashallah you look
after your mom and your dad?
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:49
			Yes, it might not be the same every day. as they grow older, it might become more difficult. Well,
that's part of your test. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make it easy for us all.
		
00:46:50 --> 00:47:24
			Those of us who folks and passed away May Allah grant and Jenna, those of us whose pair whose
parents have passed away May Allah subhanho wa Taala. grant them Jenna, pray for them make dua for
them, it's your duty. One of the best things you could ever do for your deceased parents, is very
simply make too often. One of the best things you could do for them simple. We become sophisticated,
no need to become very sophisticated. You have to be dedicated enough to make dua for them. That's
the mercy of Allah. That's the gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So my brothers and sisters, I invite
you
		
00:47:26 --> 00:47:37
			to resolve the matters that you may be having between yourselves and your siblings. I know many
families are struggling and suffering with brothers not speaking to each other
		
00:47:38 --> 00:47:40
			relatives not speaking to each other.
		
00:47:41 --> 00:47:59
			They don't greet each other back. You say salaam aleikum in the person looks away? That's it. But
that's your brother. So what? I don't like him Why? It's either a financial matter, like I said
earlier, or perhaps it is because your wives didn't get along? Or perhaps it's because of some
decision you might have made.
		
00:48:00 --> 00:48:01
			Let's set that aside.
		
00:48:03 --> 00:48:44
			Let's be bigger than that. Let's resolve our matters. That sort of problems out let us set a good
example for the next generation. Why is it that we find as the generations are passing, they're
becoming less interested in their relatives, my father can read the names and the exact relations of
hundreds of people who are related to me Guess what? I can perhaps say the same for only 10s of
them. No longer hundreds. My father actually sits down and tells us that person is related to you.
Because my my grandfather's first cousin was this and I sit and I'm baffled. I'm actually amazed by
this old man sitting in front of me explained to me, and I've told him so many times, you know what
		
00:48:44 --> 00:48:48
			that? Why don't you write it down? He says, Well, you heard me say it, why don't you write it down?
		
00:48:49 --> 00:49:21
			Somehow, and we have guilty of not writing it down. And guess what, if that generation passes on,
you may not even know how you relate it to the person sitting right next to you, you won't even know
and they're so closely related. It's part of Allah subhanho wa Taala his plan my brothers and
sisters, if you are asked to fulfill the rights of your relatives, how on earth are you going to be
able to fulfill those rights? When you don't even know who is related to you? Somehow Allah, we're
not even bothered at times.
		
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			May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us find out more? May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us fulfill the
rights of one another. I tell you, the test is more when there is a difficulty. during days of
difficulty, you actually get to know how you fared in the test Allah has placed in front of you days
of ease, it's quite simple. With us even in days of ease, I think we failed sometimes. technology
makes us become in touch with all the wrong people and those who were meant to be in touch with
there's nothing happening. So halala those whom you're meant to be asking, you know, it's something
that I am very passionate about.
		
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			Just to ask a question, how are you doing? Oh, my brother, I'm missing you. Oh, I really hope you
were here. These words can boost a person, they can make somebody's day, they can make a week, a
month, they can make a whole year of somebody. Imagine if you suddenly traveled to where your
brother was, or your sister is, and you went to visit them, without burdening them, you know, you
have to know. And I'm going to spend a moment because the world has changed. There'll be four people
could reach up at your door and say, I'm here to stay for one week. And they'd say, Wow, you're
welcome. Today, if you just reach up at the door, and you say, I'm here for a week, they look at
		
00:50:39 --> 00:51:13
			each other and say, continue phoned us? Couldn't you have told us something? Well, you don't blame
them, because you should have with technology today, you should be telling people but if you want to
have a surprise, then make your own plan. If you know the nature of the people, you're going to, you
need to make your plan. So you could say my brother, I've just come to visit you Mashallah, guess
what, we're all going for lunch at such and such a place, his wife will be the first one to say,
hey, Michelle, do you know that Allah subhanho wa Taala help us because she knows Wow, they didn't
put a burden on myself. But imagine you're going in for three days, you're going to be with them.
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:50
			You've come with a team of 10 people and the wife is slaving it in front of everyone. Was that a
gift? No, no, no, we Allah subhanho wa Taala help us apply some wisdom. So this is why we say you
need to know who you're going to, you need to know that temperament. You need to know how busy they
are, whether they're at work or not, and you need to make sure you've made a plan. And you've made
it easy for them, you really wanted to put a smile on their faces, and you did not burden them. This
is something required, it is something that will pave your way to gender, it will make your path to
gender very simple and easy. Why? Because you have done it solely for the sake of Allah, it was not
		
00:51:50 --> 00:52:11
			because I wanted someone to make a meal for me or to do this for me or that for me, or I wanted to
just, you know, go there and plant myself where I was not welcome. No, I've done it for the sake of
Allah. How many of us are ready to do that with our own parents who might be living at a distance?
How many of us are ready to pick up the phone or to send a message so panela?
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:58
			So my brothers and sisters, these are just some little pointers that show us? Allah Subhana Allah to
Allah, his divine plan, like I said, and I'm repeating it. Allah has created us in a way that is
unique for a purpose. He has made us related to each other for a purpose. Sit sometimes, and ponder
over it. Think about it. Why? Why did Allah subhanho wa Taala choose to create us in this unique way
where there is reproduction through male and female who are married, and then you are born and you
have someone known as your parents, and they have someone known as their children, and you have
perhaps brothers and sisters and so on. Why did Allah do that? There is a reason like I said, it's
		
00:52:58 --> 00:53:36
			part of your test. Do not feel that test. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless us all. May He grant
you all goodness and ease. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us fulfill the rights of our brothers
and sisters, and May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us fulfill the rights of our parents, our
children, our family members, may he make us the best of people it is actually not so easy. But at
the same time, he who has the best of character and conduct stands a better chance to enter General,
as per the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, when he was asked or messenger May peace be upon
him, tell us the qualities of those who will earn paradise or who will enter Paradise and he says,
		
00:53:37 --> 00:53:38
			that will allow you are
		
00:53:39 --> 00:54:17
			two main qualities. Two main qualities found in people. One, the piety, the taqwa the consciousness
of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So you will find groups of people who are in paradise because they were
conscious of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And you will find groups of people who will be in paradise
because they have brilliant character and conduct if you notice the two one is connected to the
rights of Allah subhanho wa Taala The other is connected to the rights of the rest of mankind, those
creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala one is known as Percoco law, ie the rights of Allah and the
other is known as Rococo a body the rights of the the worshipers of Allah subhana wa Jalla the rest
		
00:54:17 --> 00:54:40
			of the creation so you can either enter gender with a combination of both of those which is ideal,
or at least with one of them. And remember, if you have the consciousness of Allah, it will have an
effect and an impact on your character. So much so that one of my own teachers and a Saturday have
always been making mention of one beautiful point. If a person's character stinks.
		
00:54:42 --> 00:54:44
			There is something wrong with their taqwa.
		
00:54:46 --> 00:54:59
			If a person's character is bad, if that character is not up to scratch, there is something wrong
with their consciousness of Allah. They do not really acknowledge what Allah has placed on their
shoulders.
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:02
			Have the rights that need to be fulfilled.
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:07
			Imagine you speak to people in a very bad way your own family.
		
00:55:08 --> 00:55:31
			You scream and yell at those who work with you or for you. You have no respect of anyone, just
because you have authority or money or you have something and sometimes even you even though you may
have nothing, but it's just part of the character and conduct. It shows you are not connected to
Allah in the way that you should be. So my brothers and sisters, let's work on this. We ask Allah
Subhana Allah to Allah to grant His goodness.
		
00:55:32 --> 00:56:11
			I hope and I pray that Allah Subhana Allah Allah forgives our shortcomings. In fact, I asked him not
to forgive our shortcomings to make us the best of people with unique character and conduct that
which we are able to pass on to others in a unique way. Remember, when you have a blessing of good
character and conduct it definitely rubs off. It definitely has an impact on your family members. It
has an impact definitely on your children and those who you interact with they learn a thing or two,
may Allah subhanho wa Taala make that a means of an inkling to Jenna was Allah. Allah Allah Subhana
Allah Subhana Allah homodiegetic shadow Allah Allah hi lanta