Mubeen Kamani – Marriage is part of my Sunnah
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Allahu
Akbar Allahu
Akbar
We shut up by praising the law of
the one who is worthy of all our
praise and our gratitude is a law of
who watches over all of our affairs.
It's
a loss of Hanawat Dala who makes matters
easy for us when we are difficult is
a loss of Hanawat Dala.
Who
rewards us for our struggles and the hardships
that we go through
is a loss of Hanawat Dala.
Who opened the doors for us when we
feel like there are no outdoors
available.
We then send peace and blessing upon the
prophet, the
one that would not only send as a
mercy to mankind, but was sent was sent
as a mercy to the world.
The peace of Allahu Adaihi wa Salam
who not only taught us how to worship
Allah, but
who was sent as a complete example of
teaching us how to interact with one another
and teaching us our our
society
obligations.
I'm not about thereafter.
Usually, when I start up with my like
I just mentioned, I talk about
in the prefix.
But the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, he
taught us
how we interact and deal with people.
And how this made the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam
How you have a complete example in the
life of the prophet
because
he teaches us every aspect of our life.
Not just how we read Quran or not
just how we fast and not just how
we
get closer to Allah
but how we function
within a society.
What are the necessity
of living in a community?
And the prophet he
tells us that
holding on to our religion
and holding on to the sunnah of the
prophet
will not always be easy, sometimes it will
be extremely
difficult. And
one of these prophets
says that
a time will come,
a time of patience,
where somebody who adheres to their religion, who
tries to hold on to their religion,
who tries to act upon the sunnah of
the prophet of Allah.
It will be more difficult than holding onto
a burning coal.
A hot coal if you were to put
it into your hand and try to hold
onto it. It's something that's extremely difficult. You
will wanna let go and holding onto your
religion and holding on to the sunnah of
the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam,
a time will come where it will be
just as hard.
And for this very reason in today's and
age, we have many sunnah of Rasool Allah
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Das slowly slowly
becoming distinct.
The way that we had animals
that slowly slowly became distinct. We now have
sunnah the prophet
that society
and the community that we live in tells
us
this is a sunnah that you no longer
meet.
This practice,
this
way of life
is something that
necessary maybe before, but now in today's day
and age,
this sunnah isn't important.
This action isn't important.
And from
the haditha I mentioned earlier, the prophet says,
Marriage
is from my sunnah.
And we live in a day and age
where marriage slowly slowly
is one of those actions that people are
moving away from. And there are reasons behind
this, not just random. There are actual reasons.
And unfortunately,
you and I have a hand to play
in this where sunnah
of marriage, the sunnah of marriage is becoming
it's been pushed to a side.
If you are capable
thank you, dear.
Why? Because
it is the best that will protect your
gaze
and it will
protect your chastity.
Tell them yesterday and if you can,
then that person has to be very patient
and fast and control their desires and control
them.
Now when we look at Nikkah
through the Quran, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in,
like, 2 verses,
he brings in
the element of marriage
surrounding just these 2 verses.
Now before somebody says that, well, Sheikh, I'm
already married. I don't need to listen to
this kippah or I'm not looking to get
married.
The reality is that this verse doesn't only
talk to people that are single
looking to get married. But this verse actually
applies to every single one of us because
we all have a role in our society.
When he talks about the Muslim Ummah, our
community,
he says that
you are you're
like a building.
Each level supports the other level. And then
Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, when he talks about
our community in the Quran, he says,
the believers,
they're in relationship with another are like brothers.
Now in this brother, Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala,
says,
get the people who are single,
have them in.
Now we start off first is who is
this first talking to and we kind of
dug into that a little bit.
Then if you worry that they are broke,
they are bankrupt, they don't have money,
then Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, will enrich them.
Now,
earlier I said that we all have a
hand
in pushing this sunnah to the side. And
I wanna kind of expand on that
where our society today has made nikah
a little bit difficult,
marriage to become difficult.
And there are a few reasons,
by chance.
The first of these reasons is that we
put a lot of restrictions when it comes
to marriage.
One of these restrictions
is of age.
And this actually goes to 2 different
extremes.
On one hand, you have people
that as soon as their daughter or as
soon as their child reaches the age of,
you know, in their teens,
they
become hyper worried about getting them married and
to the point that they
put this guilt on their child that why
are you not married yet?
And
the effects of this, what ends up happening
is now you have
sisters that are stuck at home and they
are depressed. Why? Because
constantly
the parents,
again, and this is a valid concern. Again,
I had daughters myself in the law of
surrender.
Help us in all of our children.
That
as a father, we worry that, look, if
my child, my daughter is sitting at home
and is not married, then that age will
pass
and then nobody wants to get married.
But then we flip this around to the
second extreme
that you have people that youngsters in our
community that want to get married, and we
say, not yet.
You're still here.
Just here, I had a one of the
youth come to me and says,
my family actually encouraged me to go out
and commit harm.
That they've said to me, you're still young,
go out, have a girlfriend, do what you
want. Later on, it come to Allah
Later
on, practice with me.
So a lot of time we put this
restriction that you want you're too young to
get married.
Why? Because we have
this ideal picture in our mind that my
child,
after he graduates from college and then he
goes off to medical school, then after that,
he does his residency, then after that, he
begins to earn good money,
then
I'll look into marriage.
Why? Because I invested in my child. Once
I start seeing that return
in my investment
that I put into my child, then I
can look into having him married off.
So the first reason for the first thing
that we do to make marriage hard
is to put these
extreme restrictions
of age.
Now, of course, when you have somebody that
you delay marriage of,
one of the reasons why we'd be constantly
worried about marriage is that
how much is he earning?
It's a valid concern.
But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala actually squats
that
concern in the same ayah.
He says,
If they're broke,
if they don't have the wealth,
then it's Allah
that's gonna provide for them.
A lot of times we think about the
restrictions or the conditions of marriage and the
first condition and sometimes the only condition that
we're worried about is how much is he
earning.
Manistadah,
I mentioned before Manistadah,
whoever is capable of getting married doesn't only
apply to finances.
There are actually other
conditions that have to be met. They're actually
more important than
the financial person.
Conditions like, does this person understand responsibility?
He may have wealth, but
does he understand the responsibilities
that I am putting onto him by giving
him my daughter?
Is this person emotionally stable?
Financially, maybe stable, but emotionally, is this person
stable? Mentally, is this person stable? How is
this person within their akhlaq, within their characteristics?
And we just looked at the finance part
of it. The law then
squats that away and says,
If he if he doesn't have money,
it's Allah
that will provide and Allah
that will open doors.
In this verse,
marry off the single people.
The mufassayin right under a yama, a tafsir
where Hadith of the prophet
where
you to seek refuge
from a society that has
a bunch of single
people, where now people are comfortable
of not getting married.
Because you have to realize that when a
person is comfortable not not getting married, it's
not that they are happy within.
But there are a lot of reasons why
this person is,
you know,
single.
And single doesn't mean that this person is
an angel.
Bear in mind that if a person is
30 years old
who's who's gone to college,
who works now and who is financially stable,
bear in mind that temptations
will come to their door.
We live in America
where temptations
is everywhere.
Yes. We like to think of a world
where everything is sunshine and rainbows and it's
perfect as if we're in the city of
Rasool Allah salahu alaihi wa sallam 1400
years ago, there was temptation there as well.
The very famous hadith of the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam, during the time Hajj of
the Buddha, the final Hajj, this lady comes
who is known to be very beautiful, and
she's speaking to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam. There's so many lessons that we can
learn from this hadith. And there's this young
Sahabi that was next to the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam. And as she's speaking to
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, this young
Sahabi, he couldn't help himself, but then he
starts looking at her. He tries to check
her out. And the prophet sallallahu alaihi sent
this
lowers his head.
So there were temptations back in those days
as well.
In one verse, Allah says
that do not marry the people that are
pagan in their religion
and their beliefs.
And under the tafsir of this verse
is a there's a mention of a person
who
had
a, you know, for
lack of better words, a girlfriend
in Makatul Makarama.
The the the these actually use the word
Khalida.
Then this person goes and says or she
says, I'm willing to marry you. And he
says, before I marry you, I have to
ask the prophet sallallahu alaihi said, why? Because
of your
beliefs, your faith.
You're still offended.
But the point being is, even back in
those days,
there were temptation
when it came to people
that were single
and then we ask ourselves the question, how
is it that my child is 20 years
old and I expect him to be
completely pure.
Maybe my child comes to me and says
to me, you know, I'm ready to marry
you.
I mean, he's not gonna openly say that
the girls in college,
I don't know,
from a more acceptable law.
What they're wearing, she's texting me, she wants
to meet up at the MSA event. This
person can't speak to the father of likeness.
So all they're coming and saying that, Abba,
I think it's time that I get married.
But in return,
our answer is why?
You can't control yourself?
I
was 30 years old when I got married.
I was 40 years old when I got
married.
That's the response that we shoot back our
children.
Now, Samuel,
he
says that this whole scenario
where we're making marriage difficult
is actually the way of shaytan, and he
explains it.
He says the way of shaitan is
that shaitan,
he makes the haram easy
and makes the halal difficult.
This is the society that we live in
today
where haram is extremely easy.
And many times, we are
paving that way for our children.
You don't need to get married.
Now this child is alone at night and
is texting somebody. Why? Because that's a lot
easier.
Now that child is at night looking at
things that they shouldn't look at or hiding
relationships that they have. Why? Because
that's easier.
And this Chamu had said this is the
way of shaitan that shaitan, when he wants
to defeat a nation,
he crosses this path over where the halal
should have been easy.
And the haram should have been difficult,
but now it's swapped over and we expect
our children to be these perfect angels that
you wanna stick to Haram. Stay away from
Haram.
But the reality is
temptations
and the desire that Allah
has put within us
is worse.
The second reason why I say that we
have a hand in this is that a
lot of times,
we do not allow our children to marry
the person
who they want.
Now this might be, you know,
something a hard pill to swallow.
Because as adults, we feel that we are
more wise,
and we should have the choice. A lot
of times, it comes down to the fact
that why did you choose and that this
person isn't my choice.
Parents have, again, a heart for the swallow,
but the truth.
As parents,
sometimes,
even myself, I have an equal
Now, why do you get to choose and
why am I not choosing?
I raised you. I paid for your food.
I paid for your education. I paid for
your health. At least, I should get this
choice. But the reality is we put we,
you know, push our children to a marriage
where they might not be happy.
And if, for a moment, you take your
ego and put it to a summit
And look at the reality,
in a marriage that they're not happy in,
the reality is they may go ahead and
say, kabudhe,
say yes,
for your sake.
But in
the truth,
it was never kaboom.
They will never
accept
it. 10 years down the line, 15 years
down the line. And what ends up happening
is that person that they wanted to get
married on their side, those emotions are still
there.
On those sides, the feelings are still there.
And at times, yes, they do reconnect.
And now, you just have a hot
garbage fire.
A huge dumpster fire where everything is
completely wrong.
Another reason
that we make marriage hard is that
we constantly look for the perfect spouse,
for our so called perfect title.
And reality in Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, I've
made it to you, even each and every
one of us has flaws. And one of
these prophets, allahu alayhi wa sallam says,
every tile of
Adam makes mistakes with Juan.
But yet we look for that perfect child
for our spot or for our children.
And what ends up happening is that we
look for a someone in a higher and
more prestigious family who earns a lot more.
And,
you know, again speaking about cult culture,
the reason behind this is so that we
can flaunt
our daughter-in-law.
That look, this is who I got my
child married to.
If you look at the Quran,
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks about
one marriage
from beginning to end.
And this was a marriage of Musa Alaihi
satwasla.
Musa Alaihi Wasla married, it starts off
where
Musa alaihi sat waslam meets his sisters and
he helps them out.
And then one of the sisters, the daughter
of Soreba e sat waslam, she goes to
her father and she shows interest in Musa
alaihi sat
Salam. And then this marriage takes place. Now,
if you look at the condition of Musa
Alaihi Salam here, what a few things that
you will see is that Musa Alaihi Salam
was from a different tribe.
He was from Bani
and
Shoaib Alaihi Islam was Arab.
From Madi.
A lot of times, this fact right here
that they're not from the same background.
I understand.
Culture is
meat. It's easier to get together.
But sometimes, you have to realize,
it won't always be the conventional,
the perfect match.
A lot of times, things will not be
what you're used to.
Number 2,
at this time, Musa Alaihi Salam, he was
actually homeless.
He left his house in Egypt, and now
comes to Madin. He has no home. He
has no income.
And Shoaib alaihis salatu wasalam, when he meets
with Musa alaihis salam, he he there are
3 conditions
that he keeps in mind.
Number 1,
is my daughter happy?
Again, asking if your daughter is happy or
asking your if your child is happy with
the marriage, isn't something wrong?
But when Shreiber Desatiosam sees that his daughter
is actually interested in Musa alaihi sata waslam,
he says, number 1, check 1.
Number 2, did Musa alaihi sata waslam understand
responsibilities?
And Musa alaihi sata waslam then works for
Shoaib alaihi sata waslam for an extended period
of time.
Number 3, is he trustworthy?
He had many opportunities
to do something wrong.
But even then, he says to to, you
know,
Shoaib Basim, I'm gonna walk ahead, you walk
behind me
to keep ourselves pure.
And looking at this story, again, we talk
about the unconventional
part of this story.
Musa alayhi salatu alayhi salatu alayhi salatu alayhi
salam lives with his in laws.
He, for Nimon, works for his father-in-law
for a period of 8 to 10 years.
And today's in age if somebody if you
ask somebody, who do you work for? What
job do you do? And you say, I
work for my father-in-law.
What kind of man is this guy? He
works for his father-in-law.
And then he actually lives with his in
laws as well, what we call gharjamai.
And if gharjamai is, like in our society,
absolutely not. But Allah
puts
Musa
in the Quran as a gharjamai for
breaking the society
norms, what society
deems to be right,
is actually a part of Islam. Where there's
something good, don't leave it. I mean, look
at the marriage of the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam with.
There are so many society norms that were
broken in this marriage of Rasoolah Sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam. Again,
is from my sunnah. The prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam said,
number 1, was
much older.
And today's age, if the girl is much
older, that marriage is not happening.
Number 2, she was previously married
twice. She was little twice.
And again, in our society, that's a huge
no. Number 3, art in society says that
it's a guy that has to propose to
the girl. And if the guy does not
propose, then she's gonna stay there and wait
and wait and wait
until he man's up.
In the marriage of the prophet,
there was actually, Khadir,
who proposed to the prophet, salallahu alaihi wa
sallam. And she sent this lady, the prophet,
salallahu alaihi wa sallam, asking the prophet, salallahu
alaihi wa sallam, about marriage. And, rasallahu alaihi
wa sallam said, you know what? I don't
have
money. How am I gonna pay for crystal
banquet hall?
The 3 4 crores meal.
The mandi.
The wedding. The reception.
The photographer.
We put such a huge price tag on
it
because our focus is on the wedding
and not on the marriage.
2 different parts. Nika is not just the
kabundee part, but Nika is a long term
relationship
that many of us may have said, yes,
many years ago and that was it. And
we no longer focus on our marriage
aspect.
Our nika aspect. Because we did the wedding.
So here the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam,
he then said to her, look, I don't
have wealth.
And the Khadir Dhan says, that's fine.
I'm older.
That's fine.
I've been married before. That's fine. I will
propose the girl will propose to the guy.
That's fine. You don't have wealth. That's fine.
Why? Because when you see somebody that has
the right qualities
Again, we're trying to make Halal
easy. When you see somebody that has the
right qualities,
pursue it
before it's too late.
Before now, you're worried about my daughter being
35 years old.
My son already having so many Haram relationships,
and then we point its finger at them.
You messed up. The reality is we have
a hand in this as well.
And if we look at the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam of how he carried out
his marriages,
that's a whole different discussion.
A
whole different emphasis upon
taking care of one another,
focusing on
the good within a marriage.
Then so I will read that for a
different day.
Oh Allah
we ask that you help us in
marrying off our single people in our community.
Oh Allah we ask that you find them
right to spouses. Oh Allah
we ask that you give us the correct
criteria
of
their marriage, O Allah, wherever there is somebody
that is finding it difficult to get married,
O Allah, from your from your treasures, we
ask that you provide them with a spouse
that is compatible with them. O Allah, anybody
that's having trouble within their marriage, O Allah,
we ask that you
ease their matters and give them love and
and understanding for one another. Oh, Allah, subhanahu,
wherever there's a Muslim that's going through any
type of trouble, oh, Allah, we ask that
you remove those difficulties from the past. Oh,
Allah,
we ask that you forgive our sins. Oh,
Allah, we ask you to overlook our shortcomings.
Oh, Allah, we ask that you pardon our
mistakes. Oh, Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, we ask
for agenda.
Oh, Allah, make us people who practice sunnah
of Rasool Allah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, not
just the external sunnah, but also the internal
sunnah. Oh, Allah, we ask you, you please
with us. Oh, Allah, you please with us.
Oh, Allah, you please with us.
I
love
I
love
I
love
So I can probably couple. There is a
there was a request
for baby Lisa,
within the ICU with the heart issues. We
have the loss of power that I give
the family's stubborn and patience and strength in
this part time. We have the loss of
our gifts and she's not a complete everlasting.
Brother, this is Abdul Malik.
I came from Indiana. I would like to
share the important
story happened between our community and someone who's
named Mike. He's a Christianity.
1 year ago, we decided to open the
1st full time school.
SubhanAllah, we found the land and the building,
4.7 acres.
The owner, his name Mike, he's not Muslim,
he's Catholic,
and he was asked for his land and
the building, $500,000.
Brother and sisters, when we told him we're
gonna open it, the Islamic school,
Mike, what he did with us, he donated
for us, subhanallah.
He donate the land and the building. Now
we work hard to refix inside it. Alhamdulillah,
we did we fixed the roof and now
we work hard to fix inside it. They
cannot charge us around
$300,000.
So I came here to ask if you
want to help us by du'a, by donate.
Anyways, I'm gonna be outside if someone who
wanna donate by credit card or cash or
anything.
I will be outside.
Everybody.
Just a quick announcement that the Jummah times
are going to change starting next week.
The first Jomal will be at 12:45,
the second at 1:35,
and the third at 2:25.
So and accordingly, the 3rd Jomal will not
be or the time will not be the
same as it is now.
Tonight, we have our matrimonial service info session
after Maghrib, with Imam
Mahad Gomer,
and we have the Imam Adebay Bashari Masjid
and Lahore after Isha.
And, last just a reminder that we are
still raising money for the Pakistan flood relief
food drive.
It's $75 a box, and you can pay
that at the kiosk.
Everybody.