Morad Awad – How Do I Build Myself
AI: Summary ©
The importance of self confidence and affirmation in Islam is highlighted, as it is essential for individuals to be part of the first Muslim community. The concept of self respect is also discussed, including the use of "has been said" meaning "has been said" in various context, including the worst of people on the day of judgment, the worst of people on the day of judgment, and the worst of people on the day of judgment. The importance of respecting and respecting others' levels of respect is emphasized, especially when it comes to a man with a high status. Additionally, the conversation touches on the misunderstandings of words and parenting issues, and upcoming announcements and pray for guidance from Allah on how to be successful in life.
AI: Summary ©
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We praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
and we send our peace and blessings to
our beloved prophet Muhammad alayhis salatu as salam.
And I remind myself and yourselves on this
blessed day of Yomul Jumu'ah
to fear Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
As Allah reminded us of this in the
Quran when he said,
Oh you who believe, fear Allah the way
he should be feared,
And do not die except in the state
of submission to Him, and in the state
of Islam.
We ask Allah to die in the state,
and to be resurrected in the state.
Brothers and sisters, we live
in unprecedented
times.
And in a world
where the worlds of the past were nothing
like,
Where almost everything
and everyone is
at our fingertips.
We can see,
we can experience,
we can acknowledge
different lifestyles,
different
geographies,
different people with all types of
physical,
mental,
and social abilities.
It's very easy
for us to lose ourselves
in this tornado
of
emotions
and thoughts
and convictions as well.
That's why it's very important
in all times, but especially
in the times that we live in today,
to
know
and to build
ourselves
upon a solid foundation
that is conducive
of our own happiness,
whether it be spiritual
or emotional.
Brothers and sisters, the first society
ever built in Islam
was that
of Madinah.
When the Prophet established
the first Muslim
community and society.
And there is one thing in
that society that they excelled in,
that they manufactured,
that they mastered and perfected.
And it was
something that other societies
neglected at the expense of other things.
They didn't manufacture
advanced tools,
or weaponry,
or brand names that they exported
to other nations and to other civilizations.
But there is one thing that they produced
and they mastered,
that they exported
to other civilizations.
And that is
how to manufacture,
how to make
upright
men and women.
Men
that are truly men
and women
that are truly women.
This is the product of the prophetic society
and the first community
established
by the Muslims.
To the extent that today,
the greatest legacies
that live from those times
are the biographies
of those men and women
that walked the face of the earth at
that time.
So today, I'm
going
to take a glimpse
of this
aspect
of the prophetic factory.
And to learn lessons from it insha'Allah ta'ala.
That will serve us
and that will help us
develop ourselves.
So that when we include these qualities
and characteristics
into our lives,
we will be part of those men and
women that the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam
strived so hard
to create and to manufacture and to make.
We often hear
the terms self confidence,
self respect
and self affirmation.
And sometimes, they're used interchangeably.
But in reality,
they all have their own unique definition.
Self confidence
for example,
is what will allow someone
to stand up, and to give a speech
in front of a lot of people, or
to lead salah
without
being
without being,
without having a shake in their voice, or
being nervous.
That's perhaps self confidence.
Self respect
is when a person,
that same person that's leading the salah, or
speaking in public, or so on.
When he sees
someone that they revere, someone
that is of a higher status, someone
that they
respect immensely in front of them,
they
automatically jumble up. They lose their words. They
cannot recite.
Why? Because
of the self respect aspect of it.
And that's the definition.
When a person has their own
self respect, they're able to hold themselves
in certain places and in certain times,
regardless of who it is that's in front
of them.
But we're not talking about this today.
Today, we're talking about
self
affirmation,
which is the ability for someone
to speak of what's inside of their heart
irregardless of the person or the situation or
the time or the place.
The ability
to articulate themselves in a way that expresses
what truly lies
in their hearts.
Regardless
of how
others may feel as long as it's not
rude or disrespectful.
The ability
to say what's inside
and not cover it up or bottle it
up so that it could stay inside of
the chest and ferment until it becomes
problematic
for the person and their livelihood.
The Prophet salallahu
alaihi wasallam,
he was asked in front of a group
of people,
who is the most beloved person to you,
oh messenger of Allah?
And the Rasul
answered quickly
and confidently.
He was not reluctant despite the fact that
he lived in a society
where they saw this type of expression as
something that's belittling.
But he didn't mind because he was expressing
what truly rested in his heart. He said,
So the Sahaba looked at each other
and they they said, You Rasool Allah. You
know,
we know we love our wives and we're
talking about us men.
And the
said,
her father. He didn't even exclude her from
the answer to the second question.
He said, her father.
Because he wanted to show the society.
He wanted to teach the sahaba that you
must be able to say what's inside of
you confidently.
Not hide it, not feel shy of it,
but embrace it.
And this is a manifestation of the best
forms of self affirmation and fulfillment.
Brothers and sisters,
a companion,
he came to the Messenger, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
And
he told the prophet
you Rasulullah, I love this person.
They were mentioning a person, he said, yes.
Wallahi, I love him
The rasul
instantly
replied to him, told him, did you inform
that person?
Did you let that person know that you
love them?
He said, no, You Rasool Allah. He said,
then you should go and tell them that
you love them.
Teaching this sahabi that he shouldn't leave it
bottled up inside.
If there's something inside of you, you should
go and say it, especially when it's love.
You know, in a saying, they say, love
is like a bottle of perfume.
If it's inside, it doesn't smell good until
you let it out. And once you let
it out, the fragrance
begins to spread.
And that's why it's important
to let it out so our fragrance spreads
to everyone brothers and sisters.
In hadith,
in Bukhari, and Muslim.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
hinted or alluded
to a segment of people.
These people are the people that
find it very difficult to express what's inside
of them.
A type of people
that find it so difficult to say
what is in their heart truly,
that they carry themselves in front of certain
people with a face and behind their back
with a different face.
Man, dude, yeah, you're right. 100%. I agree.
They turn back and as they're walking home
talking to someone else. Man, this fool. You
heard what he's talking about?
You heard what she's saying?
Can you even believe that?
Because they didn't muster up the courage to
speak what's in their heart in front of
that person. So the Messenger said,
in a hadith in Bukhari and Muslim. So
it's one of the most authentically graded hadith.
He said, the worst of people.
And in another narration, Bukhari, the worst of
people on the day of judgment.
The worst of people
are the ones
with 2 faces.
The one who has 2 faces. These are
the worst.
They speak to the people with a face
and they speak to other people with a
completely different face.
Nowadays,
this became something
that is disguised as
wisdom,
or pragmatism
in the context of politics, or whatnot.
But in reality,
it is
the characteristic
that is the worst on the day of
judgment.
The one who has 2 faces.
The companions
were trained by the Messenger
to express themselves with all honesty.
Not hiding anything inside.
To the extent
and to the point
where one of the
sahaba came to the Rasul salallahu alaihi wa
sallam.
And think of the respect that they had
for the Messenger
alaihis salatu as salam.
And think of his status,
think of his role, think
of everything they may have thought. Think of
for us right now, what we would think
of Rasulullah
if he was amongst us today. How we
would respect him. What we would say in
front of him. How we would speak. Whether
we would raise our voice, or lower, or
even speak at all out of sheer respect
for Him
A companion
who was trained,
who was made, who was manufactured in the
the the factory
of prophethood,
in the factory of Madinah, the factory of
manhood and womanhood,
he came to the messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
And he told him, you Rasulullah,
allow me to do
I wanna do
I want to commit adultery.
So that Rasulullah alaihi wa sallam
told him why. He said, I'm finding it
hard.
Then Rasul salallahu alaihi wasallam, the hadith continued.
Would you accept it for your mother? He
said, no. What about your sister? He said,
no. What about your aunt? He said, no.
He said, then why do you accept it
for the mothers, sisters, and aunts of others?
And then he said, Wallahi You Rasool Allah.
You made sense. I'll never do zinaa ever.
But the point is the beginning of this
hadith.
How much was this companion trained to express
what's inside of him?
To the extent that they would go
to the and
and tell this to him.
Allow me to do Imagine that.
Someone may consider it disrespectful.
Right?
Think of it. Think of, okay. Sheikh doctor
Yasir Qadi, and where is he from?
Imagine he finishes halakha. He's like, oh, Sheikh
Yasser, I need a fatwa. Oh, what kind
of fatwa? It's I wanna drink some alcohol,
man. You know, it's hard. I need I
need some alcohol.
What would we think? What would everyone who's
listening to this? What would the shay Everybody
would be like, this guy's crazy. But the
sahaba
were trained
to be honest
and to spill out what's inside of their
hearts. This is what
the taught them. The courage.
Look at the battle of Hunayn for example.
In the battle of Hunayn, a very pivotal
battle in the history of Islam.
The Prophet
witnessed
tribes upon tribes entering Islam after this battle.
And so much war booty
entered into the hands of the of of
the Muslims.
And the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam had
it. And he distributed it amongst all of
the new Muslims.
And he did not give the
who gave their lives, they gave their wealth,
they gave their families, they gave everything for
the deen. But they didn't get a single
thing from the war booty.
So the sahaba started to speak amongst themselves.
And
who was one of the heads of
the he came to the messenger
and he told them,
this is what is going on in the
hearts of some of the Ansar. They're saying
that, you know, they did everything and you
didn't give them anything from Hunayn.
This has been the most
war booty that we got so far.
And we didn't get a single thing.
And the Rasul alaihi wa sallam told Saad,
what about you, oh Saad?
How do you feel?
What do you think said?
Said
had the chance to say, you know me.
I'm the head of my people. No.
No. No. No. Not me. Let's go address
them. He could've hid it. He could've kept
it on the DL like they say. He
could've
not spilled out what's inside of his chest.
But you know what he said?
He said, I'm
one of my people.
I'm one of my people. Meaning, he feels
the same way as well. He was honest
in the face of Rasulullah
Imagine telling Rasulullah,
you know, I feel something towards Your justice,
towards Your wisdom. I feel something in my
heart towards Your actions You Rasool Allah.
Isn't that disrespectful?
It may be, but it's not in the
school of prophethood.
It's not in the madrassa of Muhammad alaihis
salatu wassalam because he trained them to express
themselves.
Brothers and sisters,
so many societal issues
stem from weak self affirmation,
like enmity,
like jealousy, like gossip, like slander, like backbiting,
like stress.
These all come
from weak or lack of self affirmation.
When a person is scared
to express themselves
and what they're feeling to others,
it's a result of weak self affirmation.
People who
have weak self affirmation are either
weak
people who do not express themselves and have
a hard time saying what's in their heart
are either number 1, weak
or number 2, arrogant.
Both sides,
both extremes
of the spectrum.
The weak because they don't have the courage
to say, and the arrogant because they say,
they feel,
they think like they're too good to say
anything to the one in front of them.
And these are both wrong.
But the middle path,
the path of the Prophet
and
the Sahaba is the correct path.
It happens so much
in our daily lives and we don't even
notice it will lie. It's not even noticeable.
Sometimes, we go. We go to the barbershop.
We get a haircut.
It's the first time we try this barber.
Gives us a haircut. It's not the way
we want it to look. Actually, we hate
it. We don't like it at all.
Looks, hey, what do you think? You know,
you feel like, I don't wanna hurt his
feelings. You know, I just won't come back
next time. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing, man. It's
perfect. Thank you. I appreciate it. We think
it's actually respectful to say that. But in
reality,
no.
And the people with even weaker
self
weaker
self affirmation
are the ones that
have a face in front of this barber.
No pun to the barbers that are amongst
us today, but like, I just gave it
as an example.
They go and they tell them, it's amazing.
It's good. And then they go in the
back, and they
they type up bad reviews from like, 5
different accounts with
that are different names because
they don't have the courage to even write
the review in their own name.
Where's the courage in that? Where's the Islam
in that? That's not prophetic at all, brothers
and sisters.
A sister goes to the salon.
Very important occasion.
The wedding of someone that she loves. Someone
that's very dear to her. She does her
hair. She does her makeup. She pays a
whole lot of money, an arm and a
leg. And then she sees it and she
goes, oh, yeah. It's good. And then goes
home, goes home crying because she hates the
way it looks,
And then washes her face
with water and her own tears.
Where's the courage in that?
That's not the school of Muhammad
That's not the way he raised us to
express ourselves.
Weak
self.
Weak self affirmation.
We get cut off in a line.
We're standing in a line. We just get
cut off. We just shrug it off. Like,
oh, it's okay. Someone disrespects us in our
face,
mocks us in our face, speaks down to
us in our face. We laugh it off.
Just smile like, oh, yeah. You're kidding, man.
And they're actually serious. They're mocking you, but
you're laughing it off.
That is weak self affirmation.
A Muslim should be accustomed to speaking what's
inside of their heart.
Speaking what's inside of them because
how else are we going to express the
truth? And we find this weakness manifesting
on the one quality that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala
distinguished
this whole ummah with.
And that is the quality of what
Umr ibn Maroof
and nahi al mumqar, calling to that which
is good and forbidding that which is evil.
If we're shy to say what we feel,
how will we ever forbid from that which
is evil?
How will we ever call to that which
is good?
It's impossible.
It's literally impossible unless
we start nurturing this quality
in us from a young age. And
for a few minutes I will speak about
this in the second
Brothers
and sisters,
there are so many
misunderstood
concepts
in our faith. Misperceived
things.
Things that we see
as
a form of an upright
human being. We think
we're manufacturing
what the Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam would
be pleased with. We think we're producing
what
what they manufactured
in the times of the messenger sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam.
What will please Allah, the righteousness that will
spread in this world. We think we're nurturing
that and then and we're growing that but
we're not.
Sometimes brothers and sisters, it's a misconceived
hadith or
quality. For example,
a tradition that exists within our ummah.
Something that is purely Islamic,
respecting and revering our elders. The Prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam said,
He is not from amongst us. The one
whom does not respect the elders,
and have mercy on the ones that are
young.
And the prophet
he also said,
give people their due status. Give everyone their
status.
They're a king. They're a king. They're a
boss. They're a boss. They're a boss. They're
a president. They're a governor. They're someone
of of of, a high status. You give
them their appropriate status.
But sometimes,
you find We find ourselves
respecting
someone so much
so much,
and we give them a status so high
that it's unreal.
Beyond
comprehension.
Oh, shaykh. Masha Allah. Okay. He's the president.
Okay. He's the king. Okay. He's a respected
individual.
But
why such a high status?
By doing that, we're only belittling ourselves, brothers
and sisters.
Everyone deserves their status. Everyone
deserves their level of respect. And this is
what Rasul salallahu alayhi wasallam
taught us. He didn't teach us
to exaggerate.
Another misunderstanding
virtue is is silence.
Sometimes, we see a child
and he's silent. He's quiet.
He's so quiet. Doesn't speak. Never voices his
opinion at all.
Allah. Masha'Allah.
Beautiful.
Beautiful
son. Beautiful daughter. Beautiful child, niece, nephew.
But,
that's very troublesome.
The Messenger
said,
Whoever believes in it
in Allah and the hereafter, in the day
of judgment, then
say
what is good or stay silent. What's the
first option?
To say.
The second, usually whatever is after or is
is lower in status.
Whatever is after or in a statement is
lower in so this or that. So he
said, say good, or if you can't say
good, the house doesn't stay silent.
But when a person can say good
and they choose not to, it becomes very
problematic.
A lot of times,
it's it's just
us that are nurturing our children like that.
I work here as a youth director.
And it's troublesome to me sometimes,
when I'm sitting in my office and and
a parent and a child
is is sitting with me, and then I
I hand
a snack, or a candy, or a toy
to one of the kids,
and they look at their mom or dad
and and and they say, you see their
eyes turning.
Can can I take it? Can I go
and take?
Where?
Where did this come from?
This is a child. He shouldn't be scared
to take As a matter of fact, Allah
created us in a way that we believe
we we feel like everything's ours.
Grab any little kid that's 34 years old.
He's like, Yeah. This is my masjid,
and that's my supermarket, and that's my car,
and that's my toy. And that's what They
think everything is theirs.
What did they have to go through to
believe to to to be reluctant to take
what is offered to them for free.
Wallahi, it takes a lot.
But then you find that parent
believing that this is a good act. Oh,
Allah, he doesn't move. I tell him, sit,
he sits. Stand, he stand. Go, he goes.
Come, he comes. Whatever
I say, he No. That's not normal.
Sometimes when a What are You know, the
teacher and the parent teacher meeting, when they
say, oh, we Your your your your child
is the best one in class. Oh, really?
Yeah. He doesn't say anything. Just does his
work, stays down, never questions anything. I teach
him. He just takes it. No. That's not
normal.
When I come and I This masjid is
packed with kids. When we do the tarbia
program,
all the kids that are jumping around and
questioning their mentors
and raising their voices or rolling around or
saying, hey, why why is that this way?
Why is this? Why are we having pizza
today? Why can't we have sandwiches?
Those are the kids that I feel like
are normal.
Other people like, oh, bless
you. You have to put up with this.
I'm like, put up with this? I gotta
pull up put up with that quiet kid.
I don't know what he's gonna be when
he grows up. These kids are actually self
affirmed.
These kids that are speaking out, they
are not scared to say what they think
or what they feel.
That's a normal upbringing. Yes. It's more difficult
for the parent.
It is. It's way more difficult but it's
it's
it's on the right track.
Because when that kid believes, he's gonna believe.
And And when he has an issue, he's
gonna go and say it. He's not gonna
internalize everything.
And I'll end with this inshallah
The Prophet
he said,
The prophet said,
do not let anyone
of you belittle themselves
to a point where something is said. And
then they are told,
why didn't you say anything?
And you knew what is right. And he
says, Well, I didn't want to say. I
was shy from the people. Allah
will tell this person on the day of
judgment,
you should have feared me
more than fearing the people.
The Prophet called this belittling oneself.
Imagine this.
Now, Umar radiAllahu ta'ala Anhu also in a
in a small narration, he mentioned the ayah.
He said, who has anything to say about
this ayah? The sahaba stayed silent. Ibn Abbas
is like, I feel like I might have.
Then Umar looked at him. Ibn Abbas was
a young boy sitting amongst giants
of the sahaba.
He said,
He said,
say,
Say,
Oh my cousin, say, and do not belittle
yourself.
Do not think less of yourself. Say if
you have something. If you have the truth,
then say it. Even though he was a
little kid amongst the
Brothers and sisters,
we need to readjust
ourselves and
and start to create this generation
that is fully self affirmed, that is aware
of themselves, that embraces themselves,
that are courageous enough to speak the truth
and to say it, and not who internalize
cowardice. We don't want that. We don't want
fake righteousness.
We don't not We do not want these
qualities that are perceived societally
societally as good qualities,
but they're not.
They're troublesome.
So we ask Allah
on this blessed day of
to guide us
and to guide our children and to guide
our spouses and to guide our families
to the qualities
that he loves to see in us. We
ask Allah
on this blessed day of yomuljumah
to guide us to the straight path, to
show us the truth, to have mercy on
us, to bless us within through Islam, to
guide us to the Quran, to allow us
to apply its halal and haram, to do
its halal and to avoid its haram.
Go ahead.
We have a few announcements and,
about 5 minutes. We'll pray our sunnah.
Then when Adhan Asar comes in, we could
pray, Asar and Jannah, since most of us
are here.
But in the