Morad Awad – Hostage to your Choices

Morad Awad
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The speaker describes a man named Mike who uses a tool to cut trees and create traffic, but also uses it to avoid touching him. He describes his past experiences and hopes to avoid the future. He goes on a train and describes his thoughts on relaxing and avoiding stress, but also had aference to take the first time his partner saw him on the train.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:00 --> 00:00:01
			So I wanted to talk about
something
		
00:00:03 --> 00:00:08
			interesting. There was an area
that I wanted to live with today.
		
00:00:09 --> 00:00:11
			Allah subhanaw taala. He said,
		
00:00:12 --> 00:00:17
			Could Lunasin be Marchesa Batra?
Hina. Every soul
		
00:00:18 --> 00:00:23
			is a hostage to the actions that
it does, and what it attains in
		
00:00:23 --> 00:00:29
			what it accrues. Right? We're all
what What did Allah use? He used
		
00:00:29 --> 00:00:31
			the word a Hina.
		
00:00:32 --> 00:00:38
			Hina means a hostage, meaning
whatever you do, the moment you do
		
00:00:38 --> 00:00:42
			it, you become a hostage to the
action that you did.
		
00:00:45 --> 00:00:49
			You become a hostage to the action
that you did. And there's no story
		
00:00:49 --> 00:00:54
			Subhanallah you know, sometimes
you read something. And
		
00:00:56 --> 00:01:00
			something, Danny from your past
comes up, there was a story that
		
00:01:00 --> 00:01:04
			came to my mind when I read this
idea.
		
00:01:05 --> 00:01:10
			And that story is from, you know,
back in the day more than 10 years
		
00:01:10 --> 00:01:12
			ago, I was.
		
00:01:14 --> 00:01:15
			I was in a job.
		
00:01:16 --> 00:01:19
			I was an engineer, civil engineer
at the time. And I'm still a civil
		
00:01:19 --> 00:01:24
			engineer, but I'm not practicing
it. But that was my first job as a
		
00:01:24 --> 00:01:27
			civil engineer was a jaw. It was
like a bridge,
		
00:01:28 --> 00:01:33
			New York City. And I had to go do
like a pre construction,
		
00:01:33 --> 00:01:37
			inspection, make sure everything's
okay. Outside in the site. And you
		
00:01:37 --> 00:01:42
			know, in New York City, under the
bridges, what do you find? There's
		
00:01:42 --> 00:01:46
			certain things that you see, under
the bridges, there's graffiti, and
		
00:01:46 --> 00:01:50
			sometimes there's people that are
homeless, and so on, so forth. So
		
00:01:50 --> 00:01:53
			I had to go and disturb their,
their pleasant lunch. Tell them
		
00:01:53 --> 00:01:57
			guys, you got to relocate, because
we're tearing this bridge down.
		
00:01:57 --> 00:02:01
			And we need to build another one.
Right. So I was going and I saw I
		
00:02:01 --> 00:02:04
			saw something shaking in the
bushes. And I'm like, What is
		
00:02:05 --> 00:02:07
			what's going on? Because, you
know, it was like, kind of dark
		
00:02:07 --> 00:02:11
			and loose. Panola the city is one
thing on top of the bridge, but
		
00:02:11 --> 00:02:14
			under the bridge, it's a whole
different beast. Right? I've never
		
00:02:14 --> 00:02:18
			seen anything like it. So I went
under there. And I see the bushes
		
00:02:18 --> 00:02:22
			shaking. And I'm like, What is
going on? Who is is that a person
		
00:02:22 --> 00:02:25
			in there? Is that like a and I
thought was like a dog or
		
00:02:25 --> 00:02:30
			something? And subhanAllah a
person comes out when I get close.
		
00:02:30 --> 00:02:34
			I'm like, Hey, anybody there? Some
dude just jumps up and
		
00:02:35 --> 00:02:36
			just starts running.
		
00:02:37 --> 00:02:42
			And then he comes back. I find
them the next day. In the same
		
00:02:42 --> 00:02:45
			place. I'm like, Hey, what's your
name? You know, he told me his
		
00:02:45 --> 00:02:48
			name. I forgot. I think it was
like David or something. You know,
		
00:02:49 --> 00:02:54
			he looked like a middle aged guy.
But 45 years old. So on, but from
		
00:02:54 --> 00:02:58
			the way he looked, is all scruffy
looks like he's been sleeping in
		
00:02:58 --> 00:03:01
			the streets for like a year.
Doesn't smell good, very raggedy
		
00:03:01 --> 00:03:05
			clothes. And when I looked at his
arms, he had like, you know, those
		
00:03:05 --> 00:03:08
			puffy veins and stuff like that
looked like he had surgery and
		
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11
			cuts all over his arms and stuff.
		
00:03:12 --> 00:03:15
			And I'm like, Man, this guy
doesn't look right. Okay, David.
		
00:03:15 --> 00:03:18
			So I sat down, you know, I was
there. And you know, I'm like,
		
00:03:19 --> 00:03:23
			man, what do you do out here? He's
like, Oh, this is my home. I'm
		
00:03:23 --> 00:03:26
			looking around like, we're, he's
like that. I'm like, You mean the
		
00:03:26 --> 00:03:30
			electric room under the bridge?
I'm like, that's locked. Only the
		
00:03:30 --> 00:03:34
			city has the keys. There's like,
no, no, we hope. We hope we've
		
00:03:34 --> 00:03:37
			been sleeping there for years. I'm
like, Okay, that's cool. That's
		
00:03:37 --> 00:03:41
			fine. But we got to change that up
now, because we're about to move
		
00:03:41 --> 00:03:45
			in a lot of heavy equipment. So
I'll make but what's your story,
		
00:03:45 --> 00:03:50
			man, you seem like a pretty decent
guy. Like he was talking. Normal.
		
00:03:50 --> 00:03:54
			And, you know, he kept scratching
and acting weird and twitchy
		
00:03:54 --> 00:03:57
			sometimes, but, but he was for the
most part. Yeah. And his brain was
		
00:03:57 --> 00:04:03
			working fine. Right? So I told
him, how do you make a living? He
		
00:04:03 --> 00:04:04
			like, well,
		
00:04:06 --> 00:04:08
			I'm like, You're a pretty smart
guy. What do you do to make a
		
00:04:08 --> 00:04:11
			living? He's like, you know, I
just beg I hold one of those signs
		
00:04:11 --> 00:04:12
			up.
		
00:04:13 --> 00:04:16
			And people donate. But I get
creative with it. I'm like, how
		
00:04:16 --> 00:04:19
			creative do you get? Like, how
much can you possibly make
		
00:04:19 --> 00:04:20
			collecting change?
		
00:04:22 --> 00:04:25
			He's like, No, I said, you know,
when you guys you're off on
		
00:04:25 --> 00:04:30
			weekends, Mike. Yeah. He said, I
use your cones to make lane
		
00:04:30 --> 00:04:34
			closures. So he would close two
lanes coming out of the George
		
00:04:34 --> 00:04:38
			Washington Bridge going into New
York. Right, you know, the Cross
		
00:04:38 --> 00:04:42
			Bronx Expressway for those New
Yorkers out here. He would
		
00:04:42 --> 00:04:47
			literally close two lanes out of a
three lane Park highway. And then
		
00:04:47 --> 00:04:51
			he'd stand there at the bottleneck
and put a sign up like a very
		
00:04:51 --> 00:04:54
			creative sign. Donate, you know, I
knew that like some something
		
00:04:54 --> 00:04:58
			funny, and people would actually
donate so he'll create the traffic
		
00:04:59 --> 00:04:59
			and he'll get
		
00:05:00 --> 00:05:04
			Like, I'm like, How much do you
possibly make doing this? And he
		
00:05:04 --> 00:05:10
			told me I make about $200 a day on
average. And on weekends, when
		
00:05:10 --> 00:05:15
			there's a Yankees game, I make
450. I'm like, Wow, this. This is
		
00:05:15 --> 00:05:18
			on top. This is back in like
2010 11.
		
00:05:19 --> 00:05:23
			So Mike man, David here, pretty
creative. So that brain is not
		
00:05:23 --> 00:05:25
			going away. So you're actually
using it, but not the right way.
		
00:05:26 --> 00:05:29
			Because I'm always wondering where
these cones go when we come back
		
00:05:29 --> 00:05:31
			the next week. So
		
00:05:32 --> 00:05:34
			just the point of the story.
		
00:05:35 --> 00:05:39
			I told him, what do you do with
all that money? He said, I spend
		
00:05:39 --> 00:05:43
			all of it on one thing. And one
thing only, Mike what he said, See
		
00:05:43 --> 00:05:47
			those needles that you find on the
floor here, that's all I just keep
		
00:05:47 --> 00:05:51
			injecting myself with this stuff.
It's like morphine, heroin,
		
00:05:51 --> 00:05:53
			whatever it is, I don't want to
mention like the stuff but he has
		
00:05:53 --> 00:05:57
			his own little, you know,
laboratory where he makes this
		
00:05:57 --> 00:06:01
			stuff, right. Him and his little
buddies. So and he would, he would
		
00:06:01 --> 00:06:05
			basically inject themselves. And I
told him where you put this stuff.
		
00:06:05 --> 00:06:08
			And look, he's like, Well, I
started with this arm. And then
		
00:06:08 --> 00:06:11
			the vein bursted and I was gushing
blood. I start with this arm. And
		
00:06:11 --> 00:06:15
			then I started putting it in my
the back of my knee behind, you
		
00:06:15 --> 00:06:17
			know, my legs and stuff like that.
And he showed me everything. I'm
		
00:06:17 --> 00:06:21
			like, Man, you look. So that's
disgusting. Why would you do this?
		
00:06:21 --> 00:06:23
			He's like, you know,
		
00:06:24 --> 00:06:28
			looking back at it, I only can
change one thing.
		
00:06:30 --> 00:06:35
			I'm like, what is it? He's like,
that first time my I actually
		
00:06:35 --> 00:06:39
			accepted to take this. He's like,
that's the only time he actually
		
00:06:39 --> 00:06:43
			had a choice. After that, he never
had a choice. Again. He said it
		
00:06:43 --> 00:06:48
			was just rolling down the hill. He
said that first time, he had a
		
00:06:48 --> 00:06:51
			friend that told him Hey, man, you
want to relax, you want to, you
		
00:06:51 --> 00:06:54
			know, you feel those stress, hey,
try this stuff, if they give it in
		
00:06:54 --> 00:06:58
			the hospitals and so on. So just
check it out. He's like, Nah, man,
		
00:06:58 --> 00:07:01
			he kept brushing it off, tried it,
boom, boom, one thing led to
		
00:07:01 --> 00:07:05
			another every week, became twice a
week, three times a week fired
		
00:07:05 --> 00:07:08
			from his job, his life ended his
wife and kids kicked them out of
		
00:07:08 --> 00:07:11
			the house, because they couldn't
put up with him anymore. He had a
		
00:07:11 --> 00:07:14
			decent life. He was a
professional, he worked as an
		
00:07:14 --> 00:07:18
			arbor, he would like cut trees
and, you know, like, like big
		
00:07:18 --> 00:07:22
			trees go to Canada, big forests.
And he was a professional tree
		
00:07:22 --> 00:07:27
			cutter. Right? And he had a degree
for it. It's falling, he made good
		
00:07:27 --> 00:07:28
			amounts of money.
		
00:07:29 --> 00:07:33
			Oh, God. He's like, No, I live on
the street. And it's been like
		
00:07:33 --> 00:07:35
			that, for God knows how many years
like 10 years or something.
		
00:07:37 --> 00:07:42
			But the only choice he had was
what he said he's like that first
		
00:07:42 --> 00:07:49
			time was when he had the most
strength to say no. And every time
		
00:07:49 --> 00:07:53
			after that, he had less and less
of a choice. It was more of like
		
00:07:53 --> 00:07:57
			something I have to do. So I want
to tell everyone today
		
00:07:58 --> 00:08:05
			that we are all hostage for the
actions that we do this man, he
		
00:08:05 --> 00:08:08
			could not free himself from the
decisions he made, because the
		
00:08:08 --> 00:08:12
			decisions he made dictated the
life that he's leading at that
		
00:08:12 --> 00:08:16
			time that he was leading. Because
the decisions that you make,
		
00:08:16 --> 00:08:21
			dictate the life that you lead,
they force a particular future on
		
00:08:21 --> 00:08:25
			you. You may not like that future,
you may not see that future. But
		
00:08:25 --> 00:08:29
			the future is inevitable. If you
make that choice for yourself.
		
00:08:30 --> 00:08:33
			Whether we choose to get on a
website and watch things that are
		
00:08:33 --> 00:08:38
			inappropriate, whether we choose
to go to places where we do things
		
00:08:38 --> 00:08:42
			or or see things that are
inappropriate that are haram,
		
00:08:42 --> 00:08:47
			whether we decide to chill with
people that remind us of haram get
		
00:08:47 --> 00:08:52
			us away from Allah, we are going
to be a hostage of that decision.
		
00:08:53 --> 00:08:54
			I get a phone call.
		
00:08:55 --> 00:08:58
			Display person's calling me. I
know he's gonna back by and
		
00:08:58 --> 00:09:02
			slender. I know he's gonna ask me
to do something how long? I know
		
00:09:02 --> 00:09:06
			this person's gonna, gonna gonna
remind me of some of my past that
		
00:09:06 --> 00:09:07
			I'm trying to forget.
		
00:09:09 --> 00:09:14
			Do I swipe and accept the call? Or
do I end the call and rejected?
		
00:09:15 --> 00:09:20
			Whose decision is that? That's my
decision. But you know what, if
		
00:09:20 --> 00:09:24
			that slight moment I decide to
pick up a what's up.
		
00:09:26 --> 00:09:30
			That's it, I made the decision. I
am a hostage to this decision.
		
00:09:30 --> 00:09:35
			Now. Whatever happens in that
call, whatever sin whatever it
		
00:09:35 --> 00:09:40
			leads up to, I have to pay for
with my life. And my whole
		
00:09:40 --> 00:09:44
			trajectory is going to change
based on that. I want the younger
		
00:09:44 --> 00:09:47
			brothers and sisters in the crowd
to understand this because they
		
00:09:47 --> 00:09:52
			have a lot more to lose. Brothers
Sisters, like if I draw a line
		
00:09:52 --> 00:09:57
			from here, up here. Let's assume
this is ages zero
		
00:09:58 --> 00:09:59
			and this is age
		
00:10:00 --> 00:10:06
			80 Okay, we start from zero, here,
you're about 15. Okay?
		
00:10:07 --> 00:10:11
			You make a slight, you break off
on a slight tangent, just a
		
00:10:11 --> 00:10:13
			Millis, like
		
00:10:14 --> 00:10:15
			a fraction of a millimeter.
		
00:10:16 --> 00:10:18
			By the time you're 80,
		
00:10:19 --> 00:10:22
			it's going to be a six inch
difference in where your life
		
00:10:22 --> 00:10:23
			could have been,
		
00:10:24 --> 00:10:30
			from where it is, right? So
somebody at a young age making
		
00:10:30 --> 00:10:36
			these decisions, they have a lot
more to lose. And it'll affect
		
00:10:36 --> 00:10:40
			their trajectory a lot more than
it will somebody who's closer to
		
00:10:40 --> 00:10:45
			the end of their life, correct or
no? So
		
00:10:46 --> 00:10:53
			before we engage in anything, we
need to start thinking a lot about
		
00:10:53 --> 00:10:55
			the decisions that we're about to
make.
		
00:10:56 --> 00:11:00
			Before I do anything, before I
talk to a person before I accept
		
00:11:00 --> 00:11:00
			the job.
		
00:11:02 --> 00:11:05
			Right now you guys are young.
Okay, you could you could do it,
		
00:11:05 --> 00:11:08
			if you got two jobs. One job
		
00:11:10 --> 00:11:14
			is at a startup company, some tech
company and another job is at a
		
00:11:14 --> 00:11:19
			bank, they pay to whopping dollars
per hour more, a whopping $2,
		
00:11:20 --> 00:11:24
			right? And you're like, man, which
job do I accept this job at the
		
00:11:24 --> 00:11:28
			bank, or this job at the startup
where I'm doing some other tech
		
00:11:28 --> 00:11:29
			stuff.
		
00:11:31 --> 00:11:36
			And you know, if you get into the
bank, you're going to be forced to
		
00:11:36 --> 00:11:39
			that the rest of your it's very
likely you could change your
		
00:11:39 --> 00:11:43
			career, you could do anything
after. But this is the experience
		
00:11:43 --> 00:11:48
			that you're accumulating. Whatever
decision that you make, you will
		
00:11:48 --> 00:11:51
			be a hostage, it's always going to
be in your resume, it's always
		
00:11:51 --> 00:11:53
			going to be in your track record,
it's always going to be in your
		
00:11:53 --> 00:11:57
			experience. You decide to engage
in a relationship
		
00:11:58 --> 00:12:02
			that is not pleasing to Allah
subhana wa taala. You pick up
		
00:12:02 --> 00:12:07
			someone shoots your message. And
you know, I shouldn't be messaging
		
00:12:07 --> 00:12:08
			this person.
		
00:12:09 --> 00:12:14
			But I choose to, to listen and
send a message back. Yeah, hey,
		
00:12:14 --> 00:12:15
			what's up?
		
00:12:17 --> 00:12:22
			You're a hostage to that. Could
Lunasin be my cassava travina. So
		
00:12:22 --> 00:12:26
			brothers and sisters, the point of
this whole thing is to
		
00:12:28 --> 00:12:34
			start to wait, our actions, like
they are going to reflect on all
		
00:12:34 --> 00:12:42
			of our lives because they are and
start looking at our actions as if
		
00:12:42 --> 00:12:44
			we are going to be captives of
them.
		
00:12:46 --> 00:12:48
			Okay, because that's what Allah
told us we're going to be
		
00:12:50 --> 00:12:53
			if you're going to be held
hostage, and you had a choice
		
00:12:53 --> 00:12:57
			between this and that, who would
you want to be a hostage with?
		
00:12:57 --> 00:13:01
			That's basically the choice that
we need to make. We ask Allah
		
00:13:01 --> 00:13:05
			Subhana Allah to Allah to bless us
and to guide us to the straight
		
00:13:05 --> 00:13:08
			path to guide us away from haram
and to show us the truth and to
		
00:13:08 --> 00:13:12
			protect our children. Amelia
Blythe Amin la masala Selim barik
		
00:13:12 --> 00:13:15
			ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa Al
Hamdulillah blossom in Santa
		
00:13:15 --> 00:13:15
			Monica
		
00:13:17 --> 00:13:23
			in metal Mussolini now mostly man
do you want meaning I will not
		
00:13:23 --> 00:13:29
			mean it will quantity now look on
it the more slowly again I was saw
		
00:13:29 --> 00:13:34
			the Ponte was saw the Rena was
Slavia raw before she you know
		
00:13:34 --> 00:13:35
			under fire she
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:42
			was what unfortunately no one was
watching I think one downside BP
		
00:13:42 --> 00:13:52
			now one downside the party was on
me now was or
		
00:13:54 --> 00:13:59
			what do you have you Lena photo
gentleman one Hatfield was the was
		
00:13:59 --> 00:14:01
			the Katina long I guess.
		
00:14:02 --> 00:14:06
			What's going on? I don't know who
		
00:14:11 --> 00:14:12
			Eileen