Mohammed Faqih – The Ego Factor

			May Allah Subhana, Allah bless you, 111 salatu salam, ala rasulillah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I
have a confession to make. Ironically, I chose a topic that is a little complicated, maybe too
heavy. So I'm just going to say something simple about it and talk about one aspect
		

			of it.
		

			But when I, when I chose this topic, I didn't know that I was going to be the last session of the
day. And I thought it was very important. And but then when I saw myself on the schedule, when the
schedule came out, and I saw that it was going to be the last session, the last lecture, I was like,
I have never had, you know, this is like a very important spot. The last lecture is usually what
people wait for, right? You keep your, like you saved the best to, to be the last thing. So I was
like, it got to my ego.
		

			And I like, wow, I'm the last speaker of the day, you know, I've never had that spot.
		

			usually reserved for people like Getty, almost in a manner.
		

			So anyways, I was like, great. And then when I walked into the room, I was like, my ego is really
being tested right now.
		

			So I really want to tell you that I'm very grateful that you state,
		

			I feed off the energy that I get from my audience, and I really, really appreciate your dedication,
and you're staying here.
		

			You're my heroes tonight, you made my day, thank you very much, may Allah bless you.
		

			What is the ego
		

			you know, something that that many people tried to explain, and the more they try to explain it,
what happens?
		

			It becomes very, very ambiguous and elusive.
		

			Some people tell us that it's something bad that you need to get rid of. Yet, when we look at what
ego is, we're told that it's your sense of yourself, or the I in you, as you write, and your
perception of yourself, or what you are worth, or how you're perceived. Right. And it could be?
Well, for most people, it's very inaccurate, it's not accurate, how we perceive ourselves. The
reason I chose this topic, and yesterday, I talked about forgiveness, the power of forgiveness is
because I have noticed that many of our conflicts and issues that we have, whether it's with
ourselves, or with our loved ones, or issues that we have with our society, or things that we have
		

			against anyone, and to be, quite frankly, also issues that people have against their Creator, a loss
panatela. And there are more and more people just, you know, getting really agitated and angry and
upset, and, and there's a lot of despair in the world. So and, and I like to help myself, and people
reconcile with themselves with a loss of handle with and most importantly, with their loved ones,
and with everything around them, right, find peace, and
		

			resolve many of these conflicts that we have. So, so yesterday, I spoke about forgiveness for a
very, very short period. It was a very short lecture. And today I chose to talk about one of these
elements that I think are key in resolving many of these conflicts that we have. So I'm going to
skip right that and talk about one area that I wanted to focus on. That can help us, right, because
we usually were very obsessed with people's egos we say this person has a big ego. My husband has
ego, right? My wife, she's got serious ego issues, right? It's the ego of someone else. Yet in
reality, it's really your own ego. Right?
		

			When people when you consider yourself
		

			a victim in every single situation, you're not a doer, you're someone that was done to right. When
you want validation, right? You're not going to get anywhere. When you look at other people, you
judge them, yet you don't like to be judged, but you judge people. I thought that if we can focus on
one of the elements that I wanted to bring up tonight, which is human nature, right? Just
understanding yourself as a human, giving yourself a break, giving others a break. Understanding
that other people are humans as well. Your parents are human beings. They're flawed. They're meant
to be flawed. They were created fly
		

			Right, your spouse is not perfect, your children,
		

			they're not perfect, and they will never be perfect and stop trying to make them perfect.
		

			Stop pushing them to be everything that you want them to be or everything that you wanted to be.
		

			Because they're not going to be
		

			when you are so hard on yourself,
		

			and you can even manage to forgive yourself.
		

			And you are angry at yourself and you forget that you are a human.
		

			You're flawed, you have deficiencies, reconcile with yourself, forgive yourself and learn
		

			to perceive yourself as you are. And I thought that one of these most helpful resources that we have
is the Quran itself. Because it talks to us. The Quran told us when Allah Subhana Allah told us
about human nature, the good and the bad.
		

			Allah subhana wa tada in the Quran was saying that human beings have the capacity, the capacity to
do such and such, and the responsibility to do such and such praising human beings and saying that
human beings are honored in at the same time, the params, very pragmatic, very, very practical. And
it's a very honest book.
		

			It's very honest book, The dishonesty doesn't come from it, it comes from us from the way we read it
from the way we approach approach it from the very selective engagement that we have with the poor
and when we only look for what we want to be validated. So the Quran tells us that humans are weak.
The Quran tells us that we as human beings have issues. So remember that you're dealing with human
beings. And again, I'm not saying make excuses for everybody. All I'm saying is just remember that
you're dealing, whether it's yourself or someone else's ego, you're dealing with something that is
flawed, even if you think or the other person thinks that they're perfect. So what does the Quran
		

			tells us? Right? Real quick, Allah subhana wa Taala tells us that human beings, right, we have
ignorance, right? We make ignorant decisions.
		

			Allah subhanaw taala says in the who can have a lumen Jolla.
		

			Right, no matter how enlightened no matter how bright one might be, there are a lot of things that
actually what we don't know is by far greater than greater than what we know.
		

			Right? So remember that the other person is has Johanna has some ignorance.
		

			Right? Don't expect people to see things the way you see them.
		

			Don't expect people to see you the way you see yourself.
		

			You the way you see yourself could actually even be inaccurate to begin with. You may think of
yourself to be something that you really are not. Right. So remember that.
		

			Another aspect of human nature is a loss of Hannah data sets in and is a wholly human being was
created and is in a state of anxiety. Either Mr. Chabot zoo, our ms Ohio Manoir, we panic. We're
greedy. Right? We have this working against us. So remember, state of anxiety. You know, one thing
that many children don't understand, is the level of anxiety that they cause their parents. And it's
not their fault.
		

			It's not their fault. But it would help if they understand how a parent feels about a child. You
know,
		

			knowing what I know, now, I wish I have a chance to go back. Because my father used to say to me,
you don't know what what you do to us. And I was a good child.
		

			Really, really good.
		

			But he's like, you don't know what you do to us. And it's not you. It's just you're trying to find
your way in this world. You're just being yourself.
		

			But Had I known I would have been a little more courteous. And he used to say there are certain
things that you won't know until you have children, you would know. Right? There is a level brothers
and sisters, I'm going to tell you this. Those are those of us who are blessed to have both or one
of our parents. Remember this. There is a level of vulnerability that comes with being a parent.
		

			Right? You can take certain things, you yourself can take certain things, but you won't
		

			Be able to bear these things happening to your own child.
		

			And that's why it's not appropriate to attribute a child to loss of data, there's a level of
vulnerability that comes with being a parent. Right? So just understanding that, that we are
susceptible to this, we're weak we are, we were created in a state of anxiety. As human beings, we
have greed, these things are in the poor. And I can't give you the references just for the sake of
time, but please look them up, go and look up. This is what I want you to do if the only thing I'm
able to accomplish tonight is just to tell you go back to the core and look up what the Quran says
about human beings.
		

			And how much of that is true with you and try to understand other people with whom you may have some
kind of conflict or misunderstanding in the light of these verses in the light of what Allah Subhana
Allah said about other humans
		

			and stop blaming it on their ego.
		

			For what is speaking to you is actually your own ego.
		

			I say this and ask Allah Subhana Allah to make you and I have those who listen and follow the best
for the lives listen to I love you all. salaam aleikum wa Taala