Mohammed Faqih – Prophetic Policy – Part 4

Mohammed Faqih

Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

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The importance of learning from the Prophet sallam Alayhi wa and the need for hope and faith in the church are highlighted in the discussion of the church's stance on marriage. The church's stance is to treat all members of the church in the same way, and the speaker emphasizes the importance of growth and the need for hope in marriage. The process of the Prophet sallama proposal to sell a woman and her success is discussed, along with the importance of peace of mind and leadership qualities in managing time. The speakers also mention a workshop or seminar in Charlottetown and the importance of avoiding conflict and sharing experiences in groups to avoid conflict.

AI: Summary ©

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			Do you want to say you know, what a sulfuryl want to study? When are we later Allah misura and
fusina and see it I'm Melina philomela omega little fella howdy Allah. Allah Allah Allah Allahu la
sharika Machado Anna Mohammed Abdullah hora Sula, who was he whom have been helping your career?
Bella risotto. Amanda uttanasana de la masala to LA he was Salam O Allah wa that
		
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			inshallah to Allah starting tonight we're going to be covering
		
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			the how the Prophet of Allah salallahu alayhi wa sallam realize peace and blessings be upon him, how
he dealt with his family, the members of his household, his relatives and those who are very close
to him, those who are around him Salalah honey was the first
		
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			part of this section will be how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt with his wives and
because there are a lot of lessons for us to learn from that, we will have to do it. We won't be
able to cover everything. Tonight. As a matter of fact, there is a very important aspect of the
prophetic marital life that we are going to inshallah to Allah cover very soon. In the month of
February in a seminar format in sha Allah tala and it's for adults only inshallah.
		
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			The private life, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
		
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			meryton life was actually shared with us with a great amount of details.
		
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			Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a role model, and he was an example some of our
holiday selling for all of us. And because we have to learn from the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam on everything, whatever we can learn. Now, any couples, intimate life is
		
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			supposed to be off limits, it's not supposed to be public information is supposed to be covered.
It's supposed to be, you know, protected, it's supposed to stay between them, they're not supposed
to even share it with their own families, right? In the case of the Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi
wasallam, the wives of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, and those within his household,
after the passing of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and sometimes in some cases, even when
the Prophet sallallahu wasallam was alive, they shared
		
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			quite, you know, to a great extent, they shared a lot of details, because the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam,
		
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			as I said,
		
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			the prophets of Allah, so limbs, practice, lifestyle was also a form of legislation. And there's a
lesson for us to learn, and there are a lot of rulings for us to learn this particular topic is very
important, especially that we live in a time where there's, we're dealing with
		
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			serious family crises, different levels. So for one, divorce rates can be a good indication as to
where we're at as a society.
		
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			And globally, marriage, getting married marital issues,
		
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			finding a spouse, staying married, right, is a serious challenge. And there are consequences to
that.
		
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			I wasn't able to find
		
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			up to date, reliable studies regarding Muslim countries, but I have a homework for you that shamatha
I was going to announce it and then but I might as well just do it now. Maybe you and those who are
with us online as well, maybe you can share whether it's on my page or on mscs page, you can maybe
share with us statistics and studies,
		
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			especially from your own respective homelands or countries.
		
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			But when you look at Muslim countries, in the top 10, you know,
		
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			off the top of my mind,
		
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			Egypt was there. I think number three, you know, Lebanon, even Saudi Arabia, and there are two, two
ways. I mean, there are two two ways you can look at divorce rate one per 1000 people, right? So how
many divorces
		
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			or you can look at it, they they measure the divorce rate. They compare it to the number of
marriages that took place, right in that particular year that you're researching. So if we're
looking at two and a half to a 19, they look at how many marriages
		
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			It took place,
		
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			officially, obviously, compared to how many divorces took place. So they measure the divorce rate
based on that, right? Knowing that, by the way, 90% of Americans get married by the age of 50.
Right? divorce rate in America is anywhere from 40 to 50%. Less, that's, that's a lot. That's four
to five out of every 10 marriages. Right.
		
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			And in a study, and of course, obviously, I just want to go through some of the top, you know,
reasons why people get divorced. But before I get to that, you know, there was a study that was
published not too long ago,
		
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			that showed that divorce rate, for instance, in Saudi Arabia that was hitting almost almost 30%,
right.
		
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			And I'm
		
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			inclined to say that in some places, and in some years, divorce rates can reach as much as 50%, even
in Muslim countries and Muslim communities. Now, the divorce rate within the Muslim community in the
West, right, is also rising. Right. And again, I'm saying this, and I'm not, you know, it's not
based on let's say, lap, two 219 compared to 218. Just generally speaking, within the last decade,
there is there is an incline there's, there's a an increase in the number of divorces, or the rate
of divorce within the Muslim community.
		
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			When
		
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			researchers look at different reasons for which people get divorced, there are all kinds of reasons.
But the ones that caught my attention, were one,
		
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			you know, the number one most complained about cause is a lack of intimacy or love people, you know,
fall out of love. And then that said, divorce is a solution. So, and then a study that was done into
2019.
		
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			That included 2371 people who are surveyed 47%, you know, thought that or believed or, you know,
that lack of intimacy or love was the cause of their decision to break up or split or divorce from
their spouses.
		
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			Another reason, at 44% was communication issues, and problems, and people not being able to really
connect anymore. Another reason at 34% was lack of sympathy, lack of drama, right? mercy, lack of
		
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			compassion, lack of respect, lack of trust, lack of very key elements that are very important for
any marriage to survive.
		
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			And to, to continue,
		
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			and then growing apart, and this is the one that I want to comment on, you know, 32% of those who
were surveyed, they said, We just grew apart.
		
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			We're not, we're not the same individuals anymore. And what I was interested in is to see the
actual, like demographic and the age groups, right? And I'm inclined to say that perhaps the longer
the couple of spend together, right, the further they drift away from each other, or they grow apart
from one another, unless they do something about it. And in the prophetic example, we see
		
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			a lot of lessons I mean, we find lessons and we find solutions for these kinds of issues. Right? So
without any further delay, delay, let's let's examine what the life the marital life of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam, was, now again, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah azzawajal
says that can Allah configure rasulillah he was to atone Hashanah. We're going to repeat this over
and over again until we look at kanakapura Sula, he was watching Hassan that there has certainly
been for you in the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam an excellent example. His parents
of Allahu alayhi wa sallam his lifestyle, his relationships Salalah Selim his conduct, the way he
		
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			handled different situations and different people the way he related to them the way he treated
them. All of that is in its there is a great example for us for anyone who hopes Allah Subhana Allah
and the Last Day and this particular ayah Allah subhanaw taala reminds us of two very important
		
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			elements in the life of every believing men and believing women which is the men can do
		
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			Hola Hola, Liam. And
		
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			now because whatever I may say, you know, some people may say, Well, okay, this is the Prophet
salallahu alayhi wasalam this is, you know, you're talking about some ideals of real life is not,
you know, we can't do some of this stuff, that's fine. But for those who have hope and trust and
faith in Allah, and the last day,
		
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			right, there is a great example in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you can actually emulate
the prophets of Allah day seven and follow his example, you can actually use utilize these prophetic
remedies for all of the problems that you have in your life.
		
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			So, in my opinion, these are two very important conditions that a lot of people don't pay attention
to.
		
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			You know, when we give these examples, we go over these stories, some of us may not be able to
relate to them, unless again, we have hope in a lot of faith in Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we
believe in the last day in the Hereafter, right, and we continue to have hope in that day.
		
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			So therefore, this requires that we listen to this not only that we are present and that we are
engaged in this material, not only intellectually and emotionally, but also spiritually, right.
		
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			We're going to see that people who pray together, you know, can make it through any hardship
together, right people who can manage to pray together, because, again, as I said, that growth like
people growing apart from one another is one of the major causes why people decide to split and in
my opinion, perhaps it may be again, it may be the cause of other types of issues as well. People
resent one another, you know, have communication issues when they grow apart from one another.
		
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			having faith in Allah azza wa jal following the example of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam,
maintaining that faith and hope in the hereafter in the last day, allows you to grow together
spiritually. So that is supposed to bring the two individuals together. The Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam in a hadith says to us, therefore ochman Amina a believing man should not resent
and hate another, his wife,
		
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			either carry him in ha ha Lacan, if he has an issue with one particular quality and her, he will
find another quality that he would be pleased with.
		
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			So, the process on the light I sent him says this, this is not befitting of a believer, that the
believer holds one issue or one one deficiency or one flaw against his or her spouse, right.
		
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			Am I am I making sense or not?
		
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			Are you
		
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			by
		
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			No, because I want us to just kind of like reasoned with this and Charlotte diamond like I want us
to, to be convinced not only just motivated, but to be convinced that you know, the solution for my
marital challenges or problems or whatever is missing is there
		
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			only if I you know decide to exercise and if I decided to and that is not to say that there that we
don't have cases where things may not work out, even if you use all of these tools. Sometimes you
reach a dead end. And in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his example also, we have
		
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			in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his life we have an example as to how you approach that
as well. If, if a marriage must come to an end, how how should it be done? You know?
		
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			So, what do we look at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam life, the prophet peace be upon him
was married, how many times?
		
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			How many times is the process of them getting married?
		
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			13 1112 Anyone else?
		
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			Africa?
		
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			multiple times, multiple times. Okay. So there are disagreements amongst the scholars as to how many
times the Prophet sallallahu Sallam got married, it appears that he got married at least 12 times.
		
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			Right.
		
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			One of these marriages did not last. Right. It was like it ended up in divorce. But the ones that he
was married to for some time. Were the ones that are agreed upon are 11. Right? Obviously starting
with Khadija all the Aloha, I'm having to boil it. And then
		
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			soda Benzema
		
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			then, Ayesha, mint Aviva and then have salt
		
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			I've been to Oman, and then
		
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			A to Z and Z and I've been to hoceima and hilarya. And Zayn, I've been to Josh and so d almost
selama before that Hyndman to omega and Macedonia more Habiba Rama lab interview Sophia
		
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			and mamoon abbington Harris and hilarya and jewelry avington Harris
		
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			and then Sophia into a
		
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			lovely Allahu anhu And may Allah be pleased with them all the mothers of the believers.
		
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			Two of them died in his lifetime
		
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			37 to avoid it. And Zane have been to Hosea, the one that is also known as Omen Misaki right? So
they, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
		
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			and and Dr. de la Honda was the only one that he was married to.
		
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			Like when he didn't have any other words. So she was the only one of them that he was married to
without being married to anyone else at the same time. It was after the death of Khadija and all the
Aloha Ananda the prophet SAW the lives of the married soda and then married Ayesha and the merry the
rest of them at the same time.
		
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			Khadija is the only one of his wives that with whom he had children, sallAllahu wasallam, he had six
according to the most, to the strongest of
		
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			opinions and reports. He had six two boys and four feet, two males and four females.
		
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			The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
		
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			So, from this from this, just quick overview we take that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was married
		
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			12 times, right.
		
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			he divorced once Salallahu alaihe salam, one of his wives also, he actually divorced twice, one he
took back. One, he did not take back solace. And it was a final, irrevocable divorce. Right.
		
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			And she's not listed as one of his wives. Because that, that divorce was that marriage was not
consummated. Okay.
		
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			So the prophet SAW said of also he lost to two of his wives and his lifetime. Right. So the profit
center was widowed, as well. So, and from this, some of this comma said, we see that the prophet SAW
Oh, also I forgot to say that the Prophet said a married
		
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			the only person that was not married, when the Prophet of the married hurt was at Isha. So he was a
virgin. The rest of them are not. Some of them were divorced. Some of them were widows. Some of them
had children, some of them didn't have children.
		
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			Right. So, from this, the scholar said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, almost every
situation or scenario applies to him, someone Mahalia Selim. So he can be an example for someone who
is marrying,
		
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			you know, a single,
		
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			you know, mother, with children, or without children, or a virgin, or, you know, divorce or widowed,
right, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, almost every situation that you can think of
applies to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam in a marriage, right?
		
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			And by studying these examples, and how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt with them, you
can, you'll find the lesson for yourself, or for anyone, right?
		
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			The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his marriage to his wives. The 11 wives that he lived with
		
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			was an amazing example. Very inspiring.
		
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			And it makes use of Halloween is a bit emotional. In Halloween, you see how the Prophet sallallahu
Sallam in spite of his
		
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			of the responsibilities that he had the pressure that he was under? Right, the concerns that he had
the promise of the law, they sell them, gave them attention, plenty of time, love, respect, help,
support.
		
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			And he was the best to them. To the point where he himself actually knew that salatu salam, he said,
How eurocom hydrocone and he wants
		
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			the best of you are among you are those who are best in treating their enemies family, but it
specifically it means it means what? Wife, right.
		
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			And it can refer to a single wife or multiple wives use the same word. Right. And so, the prophet
SAW the law they said it says that the best of you are those who are
		
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			who treat their wives in the best of ways? Well, no hydrocone early Indeed, I am the best in
treating my wives.
		
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			Now,
		
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			the wives of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, were given the option, at some point to leave
him, so the law is in them and have plenty as much as they want.
		
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			And when that option was given to them, each and every single one of them chose to stay with the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and be his wife in this life and in the Hereafter.
		
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			And had the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam not been the best in his treatment, right? Have they
not, you know, been in love with the promise, I said him as a husband, not as a prophet or as a
leader as a source of inspiration. But as a husband, they would have not had to do that, you know.
		
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			Before we go further, did you know that the prophet SAW Selim proposed to someone you know, to
Omani, and that Mohammed declined
		
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			this, just in case, just think about that. I was thinking.
		
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			So he proposed to him Mahalia Lila, and her and she declined in the process, and it was fine with
that.
		
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			And the Process Center was proposed to there was a woman that came proposal process and sell them
and he declined as well. You know, no hard feelings.
		
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			So what was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam like what did he do? Number one, the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would spend quality time with his wives and socialize with them.
		
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			almost on a daily basis. All of them
		
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			have been our best of all the Allahu anhu or the Allahumma. May Allah be pleased with him and his
father, if not best said cannot Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he does Allah Subhana Allah
Sufi masala
		
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			gela Sophie masala why jennison Nacho hola who had to talk to us chimps to madho Island he said he
Moroccan in Milan in LA.
		
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			We sell him why the hinda weather with a hoonah for you that can do more.
		
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			for you that kind of yoga for either the owner can or in the
		
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			right. So, the so even amber says that whenever the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
prayed fudger he would sit
		
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			where he prayed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would stick around and people will sit around him
until sunrise. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would go to his wives, one by one.
He will go to each one, greet them and pray for them. So he would go salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah.
And he would pray for that for each one of them. So he would stop in check on each one of them,
greeting them making up for them. He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then stays at the house of the wife
who stern was on that day. Right? So let's say when he had five of them, he would make a stop five
stops the last of which is what the house of the one whose turn it is. So at some point, the Prophet
		
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			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would rotate so awesome. So it would, it would take about nine days
for him to visit or to stay at the, at the house of the wife. Now notice in this narration, that
this he says this is this is something that Prophet sallallahu Sallam did on a daily basis. And it
was the first thing that he would do every morning. After coming back from his event from the masjid
Solomonic, he will greet them, check on them, make a draft for them, and then he will go to the next
one. Right. But that's not where it ends.
		
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			The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saw importance in this.
		
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			Then
		
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			Ayesha says the following,
		
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			cannot Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he then sort of I mean and also the the Fulani say he
said normally after our sort of the process of them had a different routine.
		
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			This is now after the beginning of the day after also the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will
go visit, visit them again stop by and this time he would get close to them. He would embrace him
some a lot of Islam sits close to them, you know, talk to them, and then he will do that he will he
will go to the next one and then the next one and then the next one. And then when it's finally when
he reaches that the house of the one
		
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			whose turn it is
		
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			He would spend the night there some a lot he was, right.
		
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			Also, so even he said,
		
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			what the process enemy used to do in the beginning of the day was greeting them and making it for
them. And then what he did after also it was a little more, you know, intimate where he would like
have conversation with them, and he would actually sit and, you know, converse with them, maybe
sometimes they will tell him something that they need to tell him, they will, they would have like
quality time and conversation with one another.
		
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			It could involve teaching them something, it could involve just them telling him about their day, it
could involve him, so a lot less, and I'm helping them with whatever they need help with. Sometimes
it could just be them just sitting. And, you know, telling the Prophet sallallahu wasallam a story,
like I told the process, my long story, you know, that is known as Hades. That was
		
00:26:02 --> 00:26:32
			I shoveled the lava on her, she said callejon lol to Elena Jamie. And she said, there is barely a
day that passes by, without the Prophet sallallahu wasallam checking on each one of us on all of us.
Right? until he reaches the house, the house of the one he's supposed to spend the night with. And
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam wanted to spend the night there. And he used to do this, to
make sure that there and imagine that you're not gonna
		
00:26:33 --> 00:26:49
			just forget about the person until it's their day or only when you need something from them. Right.
And this, there's a great lesson, because one of the most common complaints that many wives have is
that, oh, my husband only talks to me, when he needs something.
		
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			He's only cheerful, he's only checking on me when when he needs something other than that is busy.
He's in his little cave, somewhere. I don't see him, work comes before me. You know, his career
comes before me. Money comes before me, you know, his studies and his
		
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			you know, what, you know, sometimes, you know, even even some of the scholars of the past, their
wives used to be very jealous of their books.
		
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			Their wives used to be very jealous of their books. Because he's spending more time with his books
and his projects, and his next big project.
		
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			And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in spite of his, again, of his status on the law, they
will send them in how busy he was, he found he made time for the members of his household and for
his wives salon, he was in there.
		
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			So they used to see him on a daily basis.
		
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			Right, contrary to what a lot of people thought, Oh, he would only you know, see each wife once and
once a week or something like that. No, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would check on each one every
day. Sometimes the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would actually gather them all in the
evening.
		
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			And in the house of the one he's spending the night with, sometimes, sometimes they would all get
together and have a meal. Sometimes some of them will, whoever is available of them to come and is
not busy, they will join the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and they will all Converse together and have
a meal and socialize. Right? There are even you know, famous stories that we're going to come upon
of, you know, some of his wives you know, just having a little you know, friendly
		
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			fight
		
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			in his presence of the law and he was some
		
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			So from this we take, obviously, someone might say well, okay, this is beautiful, but it's not
applicable because in hamdulillah we're all people have
		
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			we're singers.
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:30
			But in it there is a lesson This is what doesn't make sense that for someone that had multiple wives
the purpose of them found time for each one of them on a daily basis. And then we have people who
you only have one
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:35
			in this life, with whom you go to gender and we still don't have time for her.
		
00:29:36 --> 00:29:53
			Yet, you know, we find people you know, talking about, you know, oh, you know, maybe I should have
you can't even take give time and attention to one let alone You know, you get my point brothers, am
I making? Yeah.
		
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			Mashallah.
		
00:29:58 --> 00:30:00
			Yeah, but in order for you to make it to
		
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			I need a peace of mind, in order for you to make it to generate some, some someone might say, well,
we'll give plenty of time in general No, no, in order for you to do that, you need to make it to
agenda. You need peace, peace, inner peace, and you need peace of mind. And that will not happen if
your spouse or your partner is not at peace at ease, feels secure, and safe, emotionally.
		
00:30:24 --> 00:30:26
			And spiritually.
		
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			So from this, the scholars recommend that, that we make time for each other. Now, I don't want to be
I'm not one of these people that is just hard on the on the brothers, because unfortunately, there
are many as well, brothers who make plenty of time for their wives, but their wives have no time for
them.
		
00:30:49 --> 00:31:17
			Right? Her husband is the last thing on her mind. Right? You know, the children that homework this
that, and again, I'm not saying but they and this is not correct, either. Because we learned from
the same Heidi from the prophetic household and from the prophetic marital life, we learned that
they used to make time for him Salalah. Listen, they had children they had some of them had children
from previous marriages. But they made time for him saw the loss and they made time for each other.
		
00:31:18 --> 00:31:20
			Right. So
		
00:31:21 --> 00:31:32
			and again, I'm not a marriage and family therapist, I'm just an A man who has been around for about
two decades, dealt with a lot of cases. In my opinion, in my humble opinion,
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:50
			I find that most of these issues that we're having in our American lives, are due to mismanagement,
our inability to manage our time and our priorities. And our lack of interest in
		
00:31:53 --> 00:32:36
			in coming up with solutions, right? And working together, if we don't see value in something, we're
not gonna care. Because Because many of us are capable of making time for all kinds of things, all
kinds of interests, and priorities that we have in life, when you don't see value in something
you're not going to pay attention to, you know, somehow like amazes me how sometimes I find people
who are very, very talented, they know how to close deals, they know how to win arguments, they know
how to win adversaries over, right? They know how to expand their businesses and how to appeal to
many clients, they know how to deal with very, like hard headed, you know, patients or colleagues
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:43
			or, or employees. Right, great leadership qualities. For some reason, when it comes to
		
00:32:44 --> 00:32:53
			you know, applying the same or using the same tools and that they possess in their households they
failed and they fail miserably.
		
00:32:56 --> 00:32:59
			Again, if you don't see value in something, you're not going to even you know,
		
00:33:00 --> 00:33:10
			you're not gonna even make the effort to use what Allah Subhana Allah blessed you with, in terms of
again, leadership qualities, and talents. Okay.
		
00:33:16 --> 00:34:03
			His worship sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his a bed that did not hold him back from spending quality
time with his wives sallallahu alayhi wasallam according to Ayesha again, the Prophet sallallahu
Sallam between acts of worship and between his responsibilities to teach and lead the community, the
prophets Allah is Allah made time for them. And you get the sense of the prophets of Allah was
amazing when it comes to his time management, right? He used every minute or every moment in every
hour of his day, wisely, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and we really have you know, life is very
short brothers and sisters, you know. And I think, you know, those who who know how to manage their
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:05
			time and
		
00:34:06 --> 00:34:18
			take care of their priorities, do much better in life, and will be happy and will please other
people, you know, and on the Day of Judgment, that loss of Hannah what Allah will bless them.
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:29
			That is with regards to the quality time and conversations and socializations of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and his wife.
		
00:34:31 --> 00:35:00
			The next section is Charlotte, Allah is something that we're going to skip. Because I'm going to
address it again. At the end of the month, we're going to be talking about the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wasallam intimate life. As I said, statistics show that one of the major causes of divorce
and marital problems is lack of compatibility when it comes to intimacy. And the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam sets a great example for us. So inshallah Allah, we're going to we're just going
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:11
			Over the some of the details, and we're creating the the flyer flyer for it for the event in shoma.
At the end of the month we have we were ideally thinking to do it
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:21
			on the 14th. No, no, we don't, actually we were thinking of on the 15th. But however that weekend we
have, we have a,
		
00:35:23 --> 00:35:26
			we have a workshop or seminar, right, by the alum program.
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:48
			And there are a lot of activities this month. So the only I think available weekend is two or three
weeks from now. So inshallah we'll we'll update you on that send me and I are working on it.
inshallah, as always, we would like as many people as possible to sign up for that program in
Charlottetown.
		
00:35:50 --> 00:35:55
			That will allow let's see, now Mohammed ohana, and your site, we will send them into steamer. Kathy,
alright. Does anyone have any question?
		
00:35:56 --> 00:35:57
			Does anyone have any question?
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:15
			Coming from one
		
00:36:28 --> 00:36:31
			practical example as well?
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:35
			Is that a trick? Question? Is dinner time?
		
00:36:37 --> 00:36:38
			quality time? Is that good?
		
00:36:44 --> 00:36:45
			Well,
		
00:36:46 --> 00:37:10
			it depends for some people it is, it's for some, in some households, I think dinner time ought to be
family time. You know, I know that, you know, different families have different setup and different,
you know, culture. But this idea of us not coming together, even for a meal is really a horrible
idea. Everyone just having their own thing, you know, have their own, you know, pace or convenient.
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:20
			Their own convenience, basically, whenever they want to people taking food to their rooms. I think
that's not
		
00:37:21 --> 00:37:30
			good habits. That's not a healthy habit. Right? We should come together in one designated area,
right, as a family.
		
00:37:33 --> 00:37:44
			Family should come together, have meal together help one another, you know, set set up or at least
you know, clean up, have friendly conversation check on each other, avoid any
		
00:37:45 --> 00:37:48
			any sensitive or any content, you know, any?
		
00:37:49 --> 00:37:56
			any conflict. Right, just let it be about how was your day? How are things going? You know,
		
00:37:57 --> 00:37:59
			share the latest joke about
		
00:38:00 --> 00:38:02
			the Iowa caucus, you know,
		
00:38:03 --> 00:38:08
			you know, just just anything politics, sports, anything that interests everyone.
		
00:38:09 --> 00:38:10
			And,
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:36
			and, and just make it a make it a friendly time. But other than that, in my opinion, there are some
cases where Yeah, the person may need more than that time. Right? Especially. So it depends on the
situation, it depends on the circumstances, it depends sometimes on the needs of the individual.
Right. And believe it or not, you know, sometimes even five minutes and divided attention, five
minute of undivided attention
		
00:38:38 --> 00:38:43
			makes a huge difference. I know someone who's very, very busy, same profession, extremely busy.
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:55
			One time, you know, I and he is also you know, highly qualified with great credentials in fifth and
also as well. So,
		
00:38:57 --> 00:39:03
			so I told him, you know, what time can I contact you? He so so I gave him a timeframe. He's like,
No, no, that's that. That is tea time.
		
00:39:06 --> 00:39:21
			So him and his wife have tea time. Right? They have half an hour data where they sit together at no
kids, nothing. Just the two of them are sitting there relaxing. So he's like, I can't do that. Like,
are you sure you can't squeeze me? He's like no. Sita.
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:26
			Some couples have like walks. I know this is not feasible here in
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:44
			Memphis. But some couples, maybe during summertime, you know, there are seasonal activities that you
can do together. You know, I know in some beautiful places like Southern California. People do
things like that. You know, there are a couple who have had a lot. There was one particular case
		
00:39:45 --> 00:39:57
			brother and sister so how I used to do this on a regular basis. And one one day they were walking
and she was ahead of him. She'd like catch up. He's like, I'll have a catch up with you go and he
started talking over the phone
		
00:39:59 --> 00:40:00
			and a car came in
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:36
			Hit him, killed him right on the spot his wife had, but somehow his, his wife was grateful of the
fact that they she was there with him in his last moment, doing thing, you know, doing an activity
together. And again, you learn from these kind of incidents that, you know, life is very short. And
the time that we have with one another is really, really precious. And we should cherish every
moment in every opportunity that we have, that we can spend with one another. You have no idea how
many times I've heard people say things like, I wish I had spent more time she wanted to tell me
something. I didn't know that that was the last time. Right, he wanted to tell me something.
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:45
			He asked me to join him in that walk. And I said no, I'm busy. When I could have done it.
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:47
			Right. So
		
00:40:49 --> 00:40:50
			what's that you disagree?
		
00:40:55 --> 00:40:55
			Do I
		
00:40:56 --> 00:41:00
			Do one thing also that is mentioned in this in this
		
00:41:02 --> 00:41:37
			that we mentioned during the lecture is making do out for one another? This is something that a lot
of couples fail in doing. Make dua for one another the process I'm used to pray for his wives right
behind like, when they're not around and to their face as well. Right. So he would make up for them
when they're present, and he would make out for them, and a loss of habitat and I intentionally
recited that verse in the in the in the summer, we're living in a una robina habla Nam. And as you
as you know, Tina kurata is making your app for your for your spouse. And so Pamela, some
contemporary scholars said that now we have
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:41
			great tools and send that to us.