Mohammed Faqih – Don’t Be Angry
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the actions of the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam during a breach of the trench around the Muslim community, as well as his threat to harm a member of his own family. The importance of learning self- Regulation and managing one's anger is emphasized, as well as seeking refuge and finding inspiration in people and companies. The speaker also advises listeners to be careful with their approach to certain people and companies, as it can cause embarrassment and negative reactions. The upcoming events include a workshop and summer program for children, as well as a powerful person named Cause and a powerful person named Guimaraes.AI: Transcript ©
This morning after Fajr, I shared with the
congregation a story
that was
mentioned in a commentary
by by one of the,
greatest
scholars of tafsir.
And in that commentary,
this scholar was talking about the prophet salallahu
alaihi wa sallam's
great character and how the Prophet salallahu alaihi
wa
sallam had this ability
to regulate his emotions
and really control his anger.
And it also
shows the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam's
What the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam's red
lines were. What were the the things that
really triggered the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam?
So
he mentioned
2
moments
in the Seerah of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wa sallam
and he reflects on the contrast between the
two moments.
How the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam reacted
when
people from the Quraysh
injured
his blessed
noble
faith.
And the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam had
a gash on his forehead.
And how the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam
when he when he was injured, how he
reacted to that.
The prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam wiped the
the the blood
and he said, AllahummaHdiqawumi
fa'innaumlaiaalamoon.
Oh Allah, guide my people.
He didn't curse them.
He didn't
pray for Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala's wrath upon
them.
Though if he did, they would have been
deserving of
it. But because it was personal injury and
because he cared for the people, the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam in spite of the fact
that he was hurt,
in spite of the fact that his companions
around him salallahu alaihi wasallam and may Allah
be pleased with him, were offended greatly by
that.
The prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam made du'at for
them.
Allahumadhiqawmi
fa innamulayhi alamun. Oh Allah, guide my people
for they know not. They're ignorant.
On the other hand,
there was a moment later on
when a group
from the forces that came and besieged Medina
tried to breach
the fortress
and breach the
trench that was built around
the the Muslim community to protect them
from this massive army.
So engaging them While engaging them, the prophet
and the companions
of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam missed
one of the prayers.
They missed the Asaf prayer.
And when the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
realized
that
that's what happened, he sallallahu alaihi wasallam in
that moment of anger, and anguish,
and pain, and fatigue,
He cursed those who did that.
This group
that preoccupied them.
He said, sha khaloona anis salatwustaa.
They preoccupied us and kept us
from the middle prayer.
Oh Allah, fill their bellies with fire.
So the scholars look at this and say,
when the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam was
injured
And very often there are other moments in
the Sirah when the prophet When someone comes
and offends the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam
and tries to abuse the prophet shalallahu alaihi
wa sallam and hurt him verbally or physically,
and the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam will
show great
level of
restraint
and self control.
And very often would even respond with grace
sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam.
And then when
someone comes and takes them away from
the most
beloved
act of worship to him salallahu alaihi wasallam?
Salah.
You see when the prophet salallahu alaihi wa
sallam
When the salah was called, the prophet salallahu
alaihi wa sallam's family member said,
It's not time
for for anyone else except Allah Subhanahu wa
ta'ala. It is as if he doesn't even
acknowledge us or know us anymore. It's salah
time.
It's time to go and stand before Allah
Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And he says, wajurilatqurahu
aynifu salah. The delight of my eye is
in salah. The most
The the the one thing that the prophet
was most passionate about was salah.
He couldn't take that. He was offended because
they said that is the haqq of Allah
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam did
get angry.
And there were other moments where the prophet
shalaihi wa sallam did get angry when Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala's laws are violated.
When people are oppressed or when people are
transgressed against.
When his own
one of the most beloved people to him,
Usama bin Zayed, came to him
to intercede in the case
of a woman from a noble
clan,
from the Bani Mekhzoum,
who committed
a crime punishable
in Islamic
in the Islamic penal system.
And he came asking for clemency, asking for
her to be
forgiven.
The prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said to
this companion, Usama bin Zayed, who was like
a grandson to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam, afihadiminhududillah.
And the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam was
furious.
How could you intervene
or
inter You know, have have any kind of
shafa'a?
How could he intercede in a matter
that has to do with the laws of
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? There's no joke about
that. Tilq'uduudu
Allah.
The laws of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's,
and and his boundaries
are to be respected and upheld.
And justice has to be served.
And the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam told
them that
of the matters
that destroy those who are before you.
Is the fact that when the nobles
and the elites
committed an offense they would be forgiven.
But when the common people committed something that
they will be punished severely.
And there's no place
for such double standards in Islam.
And now we live in a time where
there are all kinds of double standards
and people lack or many of us struggle
with controlling our emotions.
And one of these emotions
that the prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam warns
us against
and tells us
As a matter of fact, all I wanted
to do today is just come on the
pulpit and say,
beware of anger.
Beware of anger. And just repeat that until
you tell me to be quiet and sit
down.
I really I really considered that.
Because you see,
there are times where we have these outbursts
of rage
and then we end up doing something that
we will never be able to fix
and cause damage that cannot be reversed,
and break things that we will not be
able to
We will not be able to heal.
So it is very important for us to
really teach ourselves, our family members, our children
emotional regulation and self control.
And model for them,
dear parents, especially fathers,
and teach them how
according to our noble prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam true strength and manhood
and honor
is in self control.
The prophet asked the Sahaba,
Who do you consider to be the strongest?
And the companions of the prophet salallahu alaihi
wa sallam
responded, of course
the person that is able to beat everyone
else and no one can beat him.
They were talking about physical strength.
And if physical strength
is the matrix with which we
measure
and judge
someone's strength,
then human beings are amongst the weakest,
at least
valuable
creatures on the planet.
But we know that Allah Subhaata'ala gave us
control, Not because of our physical dominance and
physical ability but because of our
intellectual
capacity and because of our ability to reason
and calculate things
and control
our urges and our emotions.
That's how we were able to
domesticate
wild animals
and all kinds of creatures that
otherwise we wouldn't be able to. That's how
we were able to communicate
with them.
That's how we were able to
even
intervene
in in ways
to preserve
life.
That's how we were able to hunt.
That's how we were able to
control many things and many aspects on this
planet.
And that's why Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala gave
us that responsibility and a manna
and told us to take care of it
and not
abuse it.
But again,
not all humans are created equally.
Some of us struggle really with this. So
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
teaches us that something that you should aspire
to Just like physical strength and endurance is
something that you can work on and build,
You can also build
that emotional strength
and the ability to control yourself.
Not only that but Islam gives us all
of these practices and acts of worship that
teach us that, such as fasting
or even daily prayers
or Hajj.
All of these acts of worship,
they all have
moral and ethical dimension.
The objective is for us to become better
individuals in controlling our urges
and our emotions. So the prophet says to
them, no. That's not a shadid.
The strongest is not one
who can beat everyone else and wrestle everyone
else to the ground and no one can
do anything to him. That's not a strong
person.
Many foolish people possess that that ability.
A lot of people who have physical strength
but intellectually and emotionally are very weak and
not worthy of much respect.
That doesn't make you a strong person.
He said, a shadeed,
my ummah.
According to me,
the shadeed, the strong
and the resilient is the one
is the one that can control
himself
when they are provoked.
At times of anger, when they're angry, they
control
their anger. They control their reaction.
They regulate themselves.
And that's not an easy thing to do.
You see, ghadab
is the Arabic term for
this natural emotion that human experience,
which is anger.
It is a very powerful feeling.
It can
both have negative
and positive consequences depending on how it is
managed.
And your ghadab, your anger, is judged by
what triggered it
and how it manifests itself.
Most of it is not good. And the
prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam, when a companion
came to him, said, Ausuni, give me advice
messenger of Allah. He said,
He said, Don't be don't get angry. He
said, Okay, give me more advice, give me
another advice. He said,
And that companion said, Okay, what else messiania
of Allah can you tell me? He said,
la tahudub, do not get angry. And he
just kept repeating. And every time he asked
him he said, la tahudub. Perhaps he was
a companion that really struggled with this.
And all he needed is to fix that
problem, and then everything else in his life
would get fixed. His relationships will improve.
And then maybe his
his own
you know, the way he felt about himself
will change as well.
See, sometimes many of us don't realize that
there's 1 or 2 issues
that are the root causes
of most of our troubles in life.
And if we can attend to them and
work on them, we'll be able to fix
them.
And then everything else falls in place.
So the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam tells him
that to Abu Dhabi.
I remember reading this
anecdotal story
of how
a father
brings in this beautiful, nice,
shiny,
amazing
pickup truck,
fully loaded.
He's so excited about it,
but it had some curves and it has
some
and then he shows it to his family,
and then
he goes to take a nap.
And his little kid comes,
says, well, this truck needs some fixing. So
he takes a hammer
and starts starts banging
it. The mother comes. She sees what has
this this little
dude did.
She screams, yells. The father wakes up from
his sleep
startled.
He comes. He sees that situation. And then
what does he do?
He's angry. He punishes the boy
using the same hammer.
They rush him to the ER
to see if they can
do something about the fractures.
There was nothing that they could do.
Doctors decide
to amputate
his fingers.
Later when he wakes up,
he looks at his father and says,
dad, I'm so sorry about the truck. I
didn't mean to do that.
Dad,
when will my fingers grow back?
That's why the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
warns us of it.
Be careful of anger.
Learn to control it.
Address the roots
of your anger if you get easily provoked,
if you get angry.
And when you get angry, if you hurt
the people that you're supposed to care for
and the people that you're supposed to honor,
be it your parents, your spouse, or your
children,
you need some help.
Talk to someone
before you cause a damage that will never
be
fixed.
Allah and his messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam
teach us certain
give us some some some tips and some
practical
ways
to deal with our angers.
Now our anger in and of itself
needs to be really analyzed.
We said that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam,
Aisha and the members of the household of
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam
say that he never got angry for a
personal reason.
However, when the laws
of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, when divine laws
were violated, the prophet
would get angry.
And that would be very visible, and the
prophet
made it very clear. And the prophet, shalallahu
alaihi wa sallam, even then he will act
in accordance to the laws of Allah, shalallahu
alaihi wa sallam. Because it's for Allah,
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
For personal reasons, the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
didn't. Obviously, someone might say, well, yeah,
come on Sheikh, you can't compare us to
the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam. He had
great self control. He's a messenger of Allah.
He's guided by Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. He's
a nabi. You can't, you know, expect me
to be like him. Yeah. But I expect
you to I expect all of us to
be inspired by his example,
And process things the way he processed them
salallahu alaihi wa sallam.
See Anas salallahu alaihi wa sallam said, I
served as a kid. I served the prophet
shalallahu alaihi wa sallam for 10 years. Never
did he say to me, for something that
I did, why did he do it? Or
for something that I didn't do, why didn't
you do it? He didn't question things after
the fact.
And he never expressed frustration.
He never said,
Man, I'm sick and tired of you. And
again, we're all guilty of it. I'm guilty
of it myself.
It's not an easy thing to do.
But then you ask yourself, okay, did Anas
not ever mess up
as a child? Did he not ever do
something?
You see, there's a narration that that
gives us an idea as to how the
prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam looked
at these kind of
mistakes or incidents or offenses or infractions or
See, Anna said,
whenever something whenever I broke something or I
messed up something,
especially when he broke different things because he
was either not being careful or anything,
and said the members of the household of
the prophet would come yell at me or
scold
me, why did you break this? Why did
you drop it? You should have been very
careful.
The prophet would
tell them calmly calm down. It's okay.
It's the will of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
If Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala wills for something
to happen, it will happen, and then goes
and fixes it or takes care of it.
Or he will tell them go take care
of it. There's nothing you can do.
The glass broke.
The plate was
dropped. What can you do?
It's really not even worth if you think
about it. Later on, usually when we examine
our reactions in certain moments and we look
at how we reacted, we're like, it was
so trivial. It was so what was that
for?
And we're ashamed of ourselves.
So the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says
be you know, just look at it
that way.
Salawah Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
So the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam 1
teaches us the importance of self control and
that that is the real strength and that
we need to actually work on that and
make sure that we are
strong. Number 2. Things that happen that usually
provoke us or trigger us
are from the Qadr of Allah
and very often the cause of our anger
is something very trivial. Wallahi aladeep.
I can speak for myself,
and I urge you to do the same
thing. Look at the past, whatever, 2 weeks,
3 weeks, 4 weeks. And if you have
not been angry for the past 4 weeks,
please talk to me. I want to give
you insha Allah ta'ala a badge of
some sort. I want to recognize you. May
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless you. But look
at the things that got you angry or
upset
when you had an outburst of some kind.
Whether while you're driving or
think about it.
Was it really worth it?
And how much
of that was really related to your ego?
And how much of that is related to
this this fragility that most of us have?
We get easily provoked.
Things or people can easily get get under
our skins.
And sometimes we say, oh, the the person
pushed my button. Why do you give someone
access to your buttons to begin with?
Cover your buttons.
Seriously.
So we need to work on that. That's
something that we need to work on. Number
2, when it happens,
Allah and his messenger will teach us
certain,
actions or we we're given certain options that
will help us
manage or deal with that Anger, insha Allah,
I'll go over them in the second khutbah.
I ask Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to make
you and I of those who listen and
follow the best of where they listen to
Techniques
that will help us manage or deal
with our anger.
Take a pause.
Don't react immediately.
Try to calm yourself.
And if you feel angry, take a moment.
Collect your thoughts.
Take deep breath.
If you're standing,
sit down.
Do the opposite of what rage
makes you
feel like doing.
If you're sitting, don't jump out of your
seat.
Recline in your seat.
If you're on the floor,
don't stand
or don't sit up.
Lie down.
Number 2, Allah
says,
And the scholar said, Nasid here means
anger because anger invites shaitan.
And shaitan comes and starts.
The one thing shaitan wants to do is
make us forget Allah, make us forget who
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is, make us forget
the power of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Make
us forget a lot of things. So Allah
says,
When you get angry,
remember Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
Any type of dhikr will help.
Number 3. There's a specific dhikr that the
prophet salallahu alayhi was celebrated.
And that is to seek refuge in Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala from shaitan. When 2 men
in front of him were arguing,
in the presence of the prophet salallahu alaihi
wa sallam he saw 2 men arguing,
shouting at each other,
and one of them got really, really, really
angry. His face turned red.
His jugular veins started to pop, his The
veins in his face started to pop. And
the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, Indeed
I know a word, a statement. If this
man was to make that statement,
everything he's feeling right now will go away.
And
number 4,
if the situation gets very tense
and you're afraid that might something might you
may end up saying something
that you would regret or do something that
you would regret, walk away from it. That
does not make you weak. That makes you
very
strong.
Walk away from the situation.
Number 5.
Choose your company,
your culture,
your influencers,
the source of your inspiration,
the people that you look up to. Choose
them carefully.
Choose carefully
what you fill your psyche
with, what you fill your mind
with.
Choose carefully what you give access
to your
mind and thoughts and ideas
for? Be careful. Sometimes we give access to
people
or to influencers or to material
that is not really going to help us.
We listen to people. We follow people. We
look up to people who are not the
greatest role models at all.
See, everybody is like,
oh my god. Did he
this, that.
You know? What did you expect from that
culture, from these people, Yadi? What
were you were you?
None of them is really worth I mean,
they're not really the best role models.
And we need to be careful because
because what other people say,
their their their
their their views, their reactions,
usual. And and and and this is really
something that we need to, inshallah, we'll talk
about this
soon. We need to control what our children
are exposed to, ijaba'a.
Seriously.
Because because they look up to individuals that
that respond with aggression
and anger.
When I went to visit a group of
young kids
in one of the juvenile halls
in California,
most of the ones that I met were
decent, cute, amazing. I was like,
kids, what happened? And I remember 1 kid
in particular,
Germaine. I said, Germaine, you you sound like
a very decent kid. What happened? He said,
sir, it was the company that I was
keeping. I was hanging out with the wrong
people.
They pushed me to do the wrong thing,
and I and I got caught.
That's it.
So be the company of people who help
you develop self control
and not people that cheer you up when
you do something stupid.
And I'm saying this to the young people
in the crowd here. Be careful.
Because Cause they will get you in trouble.
And once you're in trouble, nobody's gonna be
there for you. They're gonna walk away from
you.
As a matter of fact, they will try
to throw you under the bus and blame
it all on you.
Be careful who you trust.
Be careful who you take as a friend.
Last but not least,
du'a.
Du'a is very powerful. The prophet salallahu alayhi
wasallam who had the best of character used
to make du'a to Allah and ask Allah
to improve his character. Allahumadin ilahaasalilakhaaf.
Guiding me to the best of manners. Faina
walahidi li aasaniha illa ant, and seek refuge
in Allah aazawajal
from evil vices. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
protect us from our own evil. May Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala help you and I become
better individuals. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant
our children success in this life and the
next. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
grant all of the families here in Memphis
a happy, joyous, and peaceful
summer.
May Allah
help our children
become better and better and be a source
of delight for their families
and a source of,
strength for the ummah, for their community.
Alhamdulillah, we have a larger crowd today because
of the long weekend. Please make your way
inside the Musa'Allah. I think we still have
space inside. Brother Laith.
Can we turn off the spotlights, please?
Are we ready, brother Val?
Wait. I can't see him. Okay. We're good?
In the back. He said yes?
Okay.
Allahu Akbar.
For those of you,
who may have never witnessed,
Kunut and Nawazil, what we the Kunut that
we made is a special Kunut, the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam was reported to have
done it only twice in his lifetime. One
time, it was because 70 of his companions
were attacked,
viciously attacked,
they were unarmed
and 69 of them
were slaughtered in broad daylight.
So from this the scholars,
basically took and he
did it for a whole month in every
salah he would make
dua for the victims and against the perpetrators
who committed that
crime.
And right now our Ummah is witnessing
this very vicious attack on the people of
Gaza for more than 7 months. We're not
talking about 70 people here, we're talking about
70,000
victims or more actually between those who are
severely injured and those who lost their lives.
So the least we can offer is do
this. So InshaAllah, we've been doing this. So
for those who are, you know, visiting the
community for the first time, just in case
you're not familiar with it, this is what,
what we just did after the ruku of
the 2nd raka. Brothers to me.
Assalamu alaikum.
This weekend,
tomorrow, Saturday, after, we have a Hajj workshop.
So if you're interested learning more about Hajj
or you're planning to go on Hajj this
year or you're planning to go in the
future,
Chef Lucky will be teaching that and instructing
that course.
It's gonna be
from
tomorrow. And then next Friday Saturday,
we have our AMJA weekend. We're gonna have
4 different speakers coming,
speaking on the topic of the last AMJA
conference, which is the fiqh of contemporary medical
issues.
And you have doctor Salah Al Saawi, doctor
Khatam Al Hajj, doctor Bassim Hamid, and doctor
Ahmed Khater,
are all gonna be here at MIC. So
there's gonna be a program,
after next
Friday, and then from 10,
from about 11 to 5 PM on Saturday
is a full day workshop, inshallah, as well.
And lastly, we have 2 summer programs that
are happening,
starting June,
which is the annual summer camp for kids,
for ages 4 to 12.
That'll be going on Monday through Friday, every
month, June, July,
both months, June July. So you can register
for June or you can register for July
or you can register for the whole summer.
And then we also have the Thrive, Summer
Program for Teens, and that's gonna be happening,
throughout the month of June,
from Monday through Thursday,
and that will be happening,
consistently throughout the the like, every day on
June. So, if you haven't registered for that,
you can go on to the website, you
can go to our newsletter.
It's on the Mohit kiosk as well. And
then lastly, there are condolences, a reminder for
the condolences happening today for sister Mariam Sator.
It's gonna be happening between us and here
at MIC.
Related Episodes
- Yasir Qadhi – Ramadan 2022 – The Manners of The Believers #19 – Being a Visionary & Aiming High
- Abu Bakr Zoud – How to remember your parents after their death
- Moutasem al-Hameedy – The Beneficial Means To A Happy Life 06
- Haifaa Younis – Kunu Mubarakat – Be Blessed
- Yasir Qadhi – Seerah – 63 Between The Battle Of Khandaq And Hudaybiyya P1
- Saad Tasleem – Are you being honest with yourself?
- Mirza Yawar Baig – Lessons from Hajj Takbeer of Dhul-Hijjah