Mohammad Badawy – Love Shouldnt Hurt
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AI: Transcript ©
What is the Messenger of Allah?
Come to prayer.
Allah is the greatest, Allah is
the greatest.
There is no god but
Allah.
I advise myself before you all to be
conscious of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to
fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to be
mindful of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, as
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala advised all of
us, warned all of us with his noble
words in his glory book, Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, O people
of imam, people of faith, fear Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala in the way that he
should be feared and do not die except
in submission to him.
We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala always
to grant all of us the good end
in this life and the good end in
hereafter, Allahumma ameen.
Also Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reminds us
and he says, people of imam, people of
taqwa, fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and
speak the truth and whosoever Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala guided him or her to speak
the truth, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala promised
them that he would rectify their actions and
their affairs.
وَمَنْ يُطَعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيمًا
أَنْ هُمْ سُؤِفِرُوا بِيَ اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ وَهُمْ
سُؤِفِرُوا بِيَ اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ وَهُمْ
سُؤِفِرُوا بِيَ اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ وَهُمْ
سُؤِفِرُوا بِيَ اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَ That was
titled after Love shouldn't hurt.
Despite all the facts and the challenges that
the Ummah faced now and today and yesterday
and a year ago.
We've been talking about so many topics regardless
what happened in Gaza and now what's happening
in Lebanon and what's happening in the whole
entire Ummah May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
elevate the sufferings and may Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala make it easy for them.
Allahumma ameen.
And to make it easy for all of
us.
Last khutbah also I reflected on the consequences
of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala when it
comes to the oppressors.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala save us
from this tyrant people and make it easy
for all of us.
Allahumma ameen.
But today inshallah ta'ala shifted a little
bit to this title because lanyastaqeem alAAan qabla
anyastaqeem alkhaas The general matters will not be
straight until you have the specific matter fixed
first.
And specifically we're talking about our homes and
our individuals, our matters with our spouses with
due respect to those who have some challenges
in their house, in their lives.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it
easy for them.
Allahumma ameen.
When someone come to you and he's seeking
marriage or someone who's planning to get married
or someone who's been married for several years,
decades and so on and so forth, you
can name the time whatever you want.
Five years of marriage, six years of marriage,
20 years of marriage, being single for some
time, being married and being divorced and so
on and so forth.
Despite this is no one will go out
of this circle.
Even the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
and his time and his companions, they have
their own challenges.
They have their own problems.
But the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
supported himself and the revelation of Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala came down to fix this
problems.
And that's why book of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala always is the book of guidance
and the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam is a second source of
guidance for the believers, for all of us
to contemplate and to reflect and to draw
the lesson from.
As Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in
the Qur'an in surah al-Rum, وَمِنْ
آيَتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا
إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ ذَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً When we conduct
any marriages here and you see someone who
conducting marriages here, they highlight the fundamentals of
relationship between the spouses.
And the relationship, how should it goes and
how it should be reflect in our homes.
As Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, خَلَقَ
لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا We have known this
translation that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala have
created for all of us, from among us,
a spouses, so we can find the tranquility
and peace.
لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
precisely He says the suknah, that you find
in it, in that place which is the
relationship between you and your spouse and vice
versa between the wife and the husband.
The husband should find that suknah, that tranquility,
that peace and the wife should find that
tranquility and that peace.
Again, despite that we have challenges, how we
are going to fix these challenges, this is
how we are going to explain through the
khutbah to the end insha'Allah.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it
beneficial for all of us, Allahumma ameen.
But it's very emotion topic, it's very tough
topic to address.
Am I not pleasing some of the sister,
not my pleasing some of the brothers.
But this is the reality, how Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala told us and address it
to all of us in the sunnah of
the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told
us and how we take and extract and
listen from it.
وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً So the fundamentals or
the pillars of any relationship based on mawadda
and rahma, compassion and love.
You may betray it, you may not focus
on it, you may have problems to practice
them, but Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, He
is the one created you and your spouse
and He placed that mawadda and rahma between
all of you.
And we have some challenges and the big
challenges among that challenge that we face is
the shayateen.
And the biggest enemies that we all know,
who differentiate between and separate between the spouses
when the problems comes, the shayateen is there
always to make this situation always on fire.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it
easy for all of us.
But we have to recognize and understand that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala placed it according
to the mawadda, the compassion, the love and
the mercy.
And this is an ayah for us, a
miracle for us to reflect upon it.
As Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says at
the end of the ayah, إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ
لَآيَةً لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ Indeed in it, a significant
miracle, a sign for all of us to
reflect upon it, to ponder upon it.
That mawadda and the rahma that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala placed in our lives when
we start having this beautiful relationship with our
spouses.
My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam,
when the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ set the goal
and advised his ummah and his followers and
his companions, and he says ﷺ, خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ
لِأَهْمِي وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْمِي The best one is
among you, is the best one to his
family, and I'm the best one to my
family.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ dealt with a lot of
challenges with his spouses.
Some of them very supportive, some of them
they have their natural jealousy, ghira, animosity, and
so on and so forth.
But the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ used to advise
and address this problem with full passion and
wisdom.
And we have to learn it from the
sinna of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
When you sit in the masjid and you
receive a call from certain couples or a
certain wife or a certain husband comes to
you, I need to seek help.
I have a problems.
My husband is not listening to me.
That's a very silly question or situation that
cause some marriages to be destroyed or to
be ending with divorce.
My husband is not listening to me.
My husband is not spending some time with
me.
I'm talking to myself, I'm talking to you,
I'm talking to everyone in this beautiful congregation.
You can actually statistically some of the marriages
when you're not giving attention to it, it
actually end up to separation.
He's not giving me to pull attention.
He's not listening to me.
And look what the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ used
to deal with his spouses and listening to
them and devalue their opinions.
However, the marriage was not belonging to the
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
Listening attentively, listening with compassion and love, and
at the end of it, he gave his
opinion according to the story that he loved,
he listened to.
When you listen to Aisha r.a, mashaAllah,
for the past few years, there is a
series about the 11 spouses who came to
the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who came to Hadith
al-Muzawarah.
The 11 spouses that will complain about their
spouses.
And Aisha said the story to the Prophet
Muhammad ﷺ.
I'm not gonna go through the story, because
that's not my topic.
But the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was listening to
her.
And he ﷺ has a lot of things
in his life, daily life to do with
his community and with his ummah.
But he ﷺ still used to listen to
Aisha r.a. Even you have to actually
check on your spouse and give her the
attention by listening to her, and value any
story that she will mention it to.
My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam,
I will tell you very similar or very
small story that reflect in the words that
I'm saying.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ entered to his house,
and he find his spouse playing with a
toy, with a game.
And among these toys, a horse that has
two wings in it.
So the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ told her, what
is this?
What is this horse?
Do you think that horse has any wings
in it?
Does the horse have any wings?
She said, don't you know that Prophet Sulayman
a.s. has a horse that has wings
in it.
She didn't know anything about Prophet Sulayman a
.s. She was not exist, she was not
born, when she heard about Prophet Sulayman a
.s. what the conversation was.
She told the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, don't you
the one who told me about this?
She reminded him, look at the conversation that
happened between the two spouses.
Listening and respecting the conversation and back and
forth replying to each other with respect.
And someone come to his spouse and said,
do not talk to me, I have my
full day was full of problems and challenges.
And so on and so forth.
Sometimes when we talk to our brothers, the
sister get offend, only the brother knows the
rights.
But where is our rights?
And when we talk about the sisters, the
brother complain, and so on and so forth.
You have to have the balance between the
relationship, how to give the rights.
And the Islam address this from the sunnah
of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
I would like to mention this beautiful hadith
and how Islam address this beautiful situation.
Prophet ﷺ says, أَلَا إِنَّ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ أَلَا
إِنَّ لَكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ حَقَّ وَلِنِسَائِكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقَّ
Each one of them, each one of us,
they have the rights upon each others.
أَلَا إِنَّ لَكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ حَقَّ That your
spouse have the rights over you.
And for your spouse, your wife, they have
the rights over you.
فَأَمَّا حَقُّكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ The rights for your
spouse.
فَلَا يَطِعْنَا فَرْشَكُمْ مَنْ تَقْرَهُونَ None will come
to your house that you don't like.
You hate that for them to come to
your house.
وَلَا يَأْذَنَّ فِي بِيوتِكُمْ لِمَنْ تَقْرَهُونَ And you
do not give the permission for those you
told them do not invite this person to
come here.
They have to listen to you.
السَّمْعُ وَالطَّاعُ You have consulted with them and
tell them I don't like this such situation
to happen in my house.
They have to listen to you.
This is among the rights.
أَلَا وَحَقُّهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ And the rights, your rights
upon them.
فِي كِسْوَةِهِنَّ وَطَعَامِهِنَّ And the hadith continue.
النَّفَقَ Spend upon them.
My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam,
I look at my clock right front of
me.
This topic is huge.
I'm not gonna cover the whole situation that
related to the spouse challenges in our ummah
and so on and so forth.
But may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala makes
among those who listen and to make this
beautiful talk is reflected upon our homes and
our spouses.
Allahumma ameen.
Domestic violence.
What we call here in America, this is
the month of domestic violence and how we
protect ourselves from the domestic violence.
Domestic violence والإطهاد الأسري باللغة العربية The language
that we understand.
You may abuse your spouse by small words.
You may abuse your husband with small words.
You may abuse your child but not giving
them your rights or their rights.
This abuse, and we call this person abuser
if he brought that violation to their houses.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect all
of us.
Allahumma ameen.
Prophet ﷺ says, إِنَّ مِنْ أَشَرِّ النَّاسِ عِندَ
اللَّهِ مَنْزِلَةٌ Among the most worst people in
the sight of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ الرَّجُلُ يَفْضِي إِلَى مْرَأَتِهِ وَتَفْضِي إِلَيْهِ
ثُمَّ يَنْشُرُ سِرَّهَا She comes to complain to
you about her secrets, telling you about her
privacy, all of the things that going in
her lives.
And when problems happen, she goes out and
spread all of what my husband do in
his life.
And the same thing, the spouses when they
come together, women when they come together, my
husband did and did and did.
Why we go outside?
These violations should not be outside your room.
Should not go outside.
I talk to my husband, I talk to
my son, I talk to...
and so on and so forth.
And you keep announcing, spreading all the news.
أَشَرُّ النَّاسِ مَنْزِلَةً عِنْدَ اللَّهِ Among the most
worst people, those who goes out and spreading
their home secrets.
Home matters.
Protect your house by being silent and being
quiet.
We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to
protect all of us, to protect our spouses
and our children.
اللهم آمين أقول قولي هذا وأستغفر الله العظيمين
وإلكمان الحمد لله وكفره والصلاة والسلام على عبادهم
الذين أصطفى محمد نبيل أمي وعلى آله وصحبه
من اختفى I will conclude with the last
story from the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad
ﷺ with the hadith.
He says, عائشة رضي الله عنها says, we
were gathering with the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and
there are a lot of people outside of
the house of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ waiting
for them to get the permission to enter
to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ's house.
فجاء أبو بكر فأذين له فدخل أبو بكر
الصديق is the best companion of the Prophet
Muhammad ﷺ.
He came to seek permission to enter to
the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the Prophet Muhammad
ﷺ gave him the permission to enter to
his house.
ثم جاء عمر ابن الخطال رضي الله عنه
and he seek permission and the Prophet Muhammad
ﷺ allowed him to enter to his house.
فواجد زوجاته يجلسن حول النبي ﷺ يسألهن النفق
The spouses of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as
we all know the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ married
Aisha, Hafsa, Musalamah and so on and so
forth.
The spouses of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gathered
in front of him and sit in front
of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ يسألهن النفق He
seeking the provision from the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
to give them what they are going to
spend and buy whatever he needs.
فقال أبو بكر Shall I go and punish
Aisha for what she asking, for what she
don't have?
Shall I go and punish Hafsa of what
she's asking you for what you don't have?
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ left them in that situation
without saying I'm going to divorce you I
have a problem with you I'm gonna fight
with you.
He left them.
You have to have the time, give yourself
the time to contemplate on the situation and
how you are going to deal with the
situation when your spouse beg you about money.
Give me, you don't give me anything I
need to go buy this I need to
go buy that and so on and so
forth.
I don't have money.
I don't have to give you what I
have supposed to be giving you.
You have to be patient with each other.
We have to understand the situation.
And we're not giving our spouses let them
carry what is gonna burden them.
So Prophet Muhammad ﷺ isolated the situation until
that verse came to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ كُلِّ أَزْوَاجِكَ إِن كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَا
الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ
وَأُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَلِيلًا إِن كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَا الْحَيَاةَ
الدُّنْيَا If you're really seeking the pleasure of
this life come, I will give you whatever
you're asking for.
We have to value our lives, we have
to sit with our spouse and talk with
them, listen to them, respect them.
مَا أَكْرَمَهُنَّ إِلَّا كَرِيمٌ وَلَا أَهَانَهُنَّ إِلَّا لَئِيمٌ
Those who are being generous to their spouse,
it's from their generosity.
وَلَا أَهَانَهُنَّ إِلَّا لَئِيمٌ And those who put
them down, this person have no dignity and
no respect.
There are too many things going in our
lives.
The key to it, if you have the
wisdom and the patience to deal with the
situation.
And then another situation, another story.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, a man came to
him, يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ امْرَأَتِي بَذِئَةُ اللِّسَانِ
She's very insulted person, she always say bad
words.
She always criticize me.
You know what was the response of the
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ?
قَالَ طَلِّقَهَا Divorce her.
قَالَ إِنَّ لِي مِنْهَا وَلَدًا وَلَا هَا صُحْبَةً
I have a child from her.
She have a good company and good family
and so on and so forth.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ advised him to be
patient with them.
We reach that level.
Some of us live in the family just
because we have children among each other.
However, we protect our families based on the
love and the compassion and the rahmah of
Allah ﷻ and ṣabb.
As the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ says, إِن أَحْبَبْتَ
مِنْهَا شَيْئًا فَصْفِرْ عَلَىٰ أَذَاهٍ وَإِن كَرِهْتَ مِنْهَا
شَيْئًا فَشْكُرْ لَهَا فَضْلَهَا وَفِي مَا مَعْنَ الْحَدِيثِ
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمُهُ Hadith
mean that you have to value the good
moments that you spend with your spouse and
you recognize them.
If she is being harmful, if she is
being bad person to you, recognize all the
good memories that you have spent together.
Do not only highlight the bad stuff.
And the same thing for our sisters.
As you may face a difficult person, stubborn
person, but remember, he spent a good time
with you as well.
He's been kind to you, he's been patient
with you, he supported you, and so on
and so forth.
إِنْ أَحْبَبْتَ شَيْئًا وَكَرَهْتَ الْآخَرْ فَصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا
تُحِبْ وَفَصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا تَكْرَهْ Be patient with
all these bad moments.
This is the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad
ﷺ when he dealt with his spouses in
his house.
لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ
لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُ اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرِ Indeed, in
the good example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ,
a path for us to follow.
And I ask Allah SWT to make us
among those who follow the path of the
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.
And I ask Allah SWT to bring the
tranquility and peace in our houses.
And I ask Allah SWT to remove the
suffering from the ummah.
Allahumma ameen.
يَا أَسْكِ اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ أَنْ يَنْصُرْ إِلْخُلْنَا
مُسْتَضَافِينَ فِي مَشَارِكِ الْأَرْضِ وَمَا غَرِبِهَا يَا أَسْكِ
اللَّهِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ أَنْ يَسِّرْ عَلَيْنَا مَا يَسْرَهُ
لِأَهْلِ طَعَاتِهِ وَأَهْلِ مَحَبَّتِهِ إِنَّهُ عَلَىٰ مَا يَشَاءُ
قَدِيرٌ اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِلْمُسْلِمِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمَاتِ وَالْأَحْيَاءِ
مِنْهُمْ وَالْأَمْوَاتِ رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ سَمِيعٌ قَرِيبٌ مُجِيبُ الدَّعْوَاتِ
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِحَيِّنَا وَمَيِّتِنَا فَإِنَّكَ أَنْتَ الْغَفُورُ
الرَّحِيمُ اللَّهُمَّ اشْفِينا وَاشْفِي مَرْضَانَا وَارْحَمْنَا وَارْحَمْ
مَوْتَانَا اللَّهُمَّ مَنْ أَرَادَ بِالْإِسْلَامِ وَالْمُسْلِمِينَ شَرًّا
فَاجْعَلْ كَيْدَهُ فِي نَحْرِهِ وَمَنْ أَرَادَ بِالْإِسْلَامِ وَالْمُسْلِمِينَ
خَيْرًا فَوَفِقُوا لِمَا تُحِبُّ وَتَرْضَى اللَّهُمَّ وَاحِجْ صَفَّنَا
وَلِمَّا شَمْلَنَا اللَّهُمَّ وَاحِجْ صَفَّنَا وَلِمَّا شَمْلَنَا وَارْزُقْنَا
كَرِمَةً لِلإِخْلَاصِ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا
وَأَصْرَفُ اللَّهُ عَظِمَنَا وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرُ الْمُسْلِمِينَ Before I
leave, inshallah ta'ala The social welfare collection
donation online just for the hurricane of the
hurricane Haleen that came and subhanallah there's another
hurricanes that came but Haleen because of our
community suffering in North Carolina specifically in Asheville
Muslim community ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
to make it easy for them Allahumma ameen
and also as we strive to maintain our
beloved masjid this is a duty among all
of us it's a responsibility for all of
us asking for your donation to generate fund
your contribution play a vital role an important
and crucial role ensuring our space remain clean
and apply and function for all the time
every donation big or small makes a difference
please drop your donation on your way out
in the masjid or in the lobby or
at the door inshallah ta'ala inshallah ta
'ala join us tonight for the important discussion
love should inherit health and health awareness is
a proud to present impactful talk and featuring
esteemed speakers Imam Saif and Dr. Shahid inshallah
and Dr. Mahroof Dr. Fahad Sayed and Sister
Maryam Abdul Rahim tonight inshallah ta'ala at
7 o'clock this is beautiful continuation of
the topic that we just talked about inshallah
I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the
accursed Satan prayer
prayer prayer
prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer
prayer prayer prayer prayer
prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer
prayer prayer prayer prayer
prayer
prayer
prayer Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah that you may speak
of its news, because your Lord has inspired
it.
On that Day, men will come forth, full
of envy, to be shown their deeds.
And whoever does an atom's weight of good,
he will see.
And whoever does an atom's weight of evil,
he will see.
Allah Allah
Allah Allah
Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah
Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah