Mohamad Baajour – I want to get married, BUT
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us Munna for the first 1000 of EMA and that the in US dokkan. Hadith Kitab Allah okay then had you had you Mohammed bin Salman, Allah who I knew he was selling them or shout out to her. We're calling them the 13th Buddha or Kula did that in Ghana, Aquila dolla, Infinera. The man that
respected beloved brothers and sisters, ask Allah azza wa jal, that gather doesn't dismiss it together assume a claim or say you didn't mousseline Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam nearby I mean
he has to be from the same city as ours.
He has to be a doctor.
She has to finish her education.
Her older sister must get married first.
She has been already booked for her cousin before she was born.
He cannot afford to buy a house.
These statements and similar statements are uttered by parents when a prospective suitor is approaching their daughter in marriage.
Allah subhanho wa Taala
told us that the marriage
is one of his yet
is one of his signs.
And we all know the idea and we read the
when in TV and
mean for cecum as well
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alone. Allah subhana wa Tada said,
and from His Signs is that he created for you mates from among yourselves, so that you might find tranquility in them. And he planted between you between the spouses, love and mercy
in that there are signs to people who ponder.
Marriage is one of the greatest blessings and like we have seen that Allah called it an area and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said and Nika. hoomin Suniti and Nika. hoomin. So naughty, feminine lamea
I'm ill be Suniti Falaise Emini there's a word who are in the mood Cathy Don't be como omen.
Masala insulin said marriage is from my sunnah
marriage is from my sunnah as part of my sunnah.
And whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me.
Get married,
get married for I will boast for your great numbers before the nation's
marriage one
is a great blessing from Allah azza wa jal and it is one of the most important important contracts that we will ever sign in your life.
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam spoke to the youth
and he spoke to the parents.
He spoke to the youth and he said Yamaha Shara Shabaab, many Stoppa I mean comoda fell yet as a wedge, for inner who have a dual bus or were Arsenal in theurge. Woman from yesterday, family he was sown for Enola who we
saw last Sunday and said, Oh, young Muslims, whosoever can afford to get married, let them do so it will be better for him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity and whosoever cannot get married, let them fast. That will be a means of them staying away from immorality.
And he spoke to the parents and he told them either Jack come mentor Domina
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a lot of follow tech on fitness on fill out with a Sir Don't read.
If
talking to the parents here, you were approached with someone
with good character, good luck. And good Dean,
then give him your daughter in marriage. And if you don't, then there will be corruption and great evil on earth.
There will be corruption and great even on Earth.
My beloved brothers and sisters a prevalent problem not only in our community,
in the Muslim society in general,
which is parents putting many obstacles
many obstacles in the way of prospective suitors for their daughters
if a man if a young man with manners
and Dean and shows responsibility
approaches you
to marry your daughter
he has these qualities
then do not make it extremely hard for them. That does not mean that the girl has to be forced into that marriage, because one of the conditions of marriage is the approval of the sister her approval is a must for the marriage to take place.
Similarly, that does not mean we take the first one who comes
but we should not put so many obstacles. Rather, parents should strongly consider these qualities in his suitor and should not delay the marriage waiting for the perfect guy they have in mind.
What are some of these obstacles? Yeah one
exuberant costs
heavy expenses as well as excessive material demands that place a huge burden upon the shoulder of this young man
starting with the dowry
if you hear the numbers of the dowry requested these days
it will blow your mind
numbers
that are beyond belief.
numbers that are illogical.
Our dean did not put a limit to the dowry.
It is relative.
And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in that hour of a man he said he Baraka Tsen a surah Hoonah Siddhartha can walk on Eden, can you see Doc a sorrow?
He said
the most Baraka is present
in the most yeah seal dowry.
The most simple dowry, and the best of the galleries is the one that is very simple.
We throw these numbers to the man
and
he is giving up.
The idea of marriage is out of his mind. How can I come up with these numbers?
On the road Radi Allahu Allah and he said, Do not go too extreme with regard to the diaries of women. If it was a sign of honor and respect, and if it was a sign of piety, then Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will be the most deserving of that.
If it's a sign of honor, and sign of piety, that's why you're raising the diary. Then Rasul Allah, Islam
is our
best ally you, Allahu and what did he say? He said, I came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and I said,
yes, yeah rasool Allah, I married Fatima
and I want to go ahead with the marriage. He said Give her something.
He said give him something that he is a graduate
of the ALLAH and he said he had a suit Allah I have nothing to cover. He said how do you salatu salam, what about that Hatami shield you have Itami shield? That good shield that you have? He said yes. He said give it to her as a dowry. Subhan Allah.
This is the dowry
of say that.
Jana
This is the dowry of the need or of woman of Jana
the leader of the woman of Jana that's her dowry.
set
by the best man ever created.
What drives me crazy
is that when you see families that Masha Allah they look very practicing families in the masajid supporting good causes, but when it comes to marriage
Subhan Allah completely different family.
What happened yaki the deen is not only about Salat and cm and
our Islam is a way of life in every aspect of our life. We have to try our best
to apply the deen
similarly
not requesting the second burden that comes after the dowry is requesting an extravagant wedding.
The wedding has to be in such and such place because her cousin did it there. What are the people going to say about us
the menu has to be from here and there.
The cake has to be this high.
And people coming has to be in the hundreds we know this and this and this and that.
Another huge number.
And sometimes
the young
brother and sister who wants to get married they come to me and to the Imam and they say Allah chef I want a very simple wedding.
We cannot afford these numbers that they sing about our parents. We do not want a wedding with Moon karate. We do not want a wedding with mixing and dancing and music and maybe alcohol and maybe this and that. We do not want that our parents are
are insisting because this is the culture
Subhan Allah
Yaffe, you want to start
the life of your beautiful daughter and your beautiful son in law with haram. And you expect baraka to be in that life in that marriage? How
will my the pleasure pleasing the people is something is out of reach. You cannot, no matter how fancy is the wedding, they're going to talk about you. No matter how simple is the wedding, they're going to talk about you.
You will never be able to please the people. Why don't you please Allah azza wa jal whom Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, whomsoever, please Allah by not pleasing the people, Allah will be pleased with him and he will make the people pleased with him.
Subhan Allah
Allah is pleased with the ACIR something simple, the people are not pleased with the abundant
second obstacle
he is poor
now what sort of lifestyle Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, Minnesota Alba,
whosoever can afford we are not saying someone who has nothing completely at all. And he has no place to give to your daughter no clothes no food can provide her.
This person was lost. I seldom advised him to fast but if somebody can has the o'clock and I keep repeating because it's extremely important, has the Aflac and has the dean and can survive with your daughter. He is surviving living on his own already. It's just one more mouths to feed. He can do that. Allah subhanho wa Taala said when
income was Sally when I'm in a bad way my econ econ or
your home in fugly?
Mary, the single amongst your boys and girls.
If they are
if they are poor, Allah will enrich them.
Many of us have one when we first got married, did we immediately have the biggest house and the biggest car and the biggest this we gradually reach where we are right now. So why am I putting all these obstacles on my son in law on that person who come to approach me for my daughter in marriage?
We all started with a rental house rental apartment, a small car and then Allah subhanaw taala blessed us because we follow the Kitab and Sunnah while we make it so hard.
For so allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Salah satin, how can Allah Allah He I will know Him, Allahu Akbar. The beginning of the hadith is
amazing.
Suppose I said I'm said, there are three people whom Allah promised. Allah promised to help one of them.
A naked lady, you read you laugh if
the person who got married in order to protect himself from falling into haram, Allah promised to help him. When Allah Allah usually filled me I had
Allahu Akbar. It's a promise from Allah azza wa jal.
young Muslims
are often told to reject the norms of the society that we are living in. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no pre marital relationships, and when they want to seek the halal alternative.
They are plucked.
No boyfriend, no girlfriend, don't do this. Don't do that for you, Bob. I want to get married Alhamdulillah I can afford it right now.
I am responsible. And I have a clerk and Dean. No,
no, not now.
And
we add to the obstacles whether it's the father of the bride, or the father of the young lady.
Then comes one of the biggest obstacles.
He is not from your culture.
He's not Philistine. He's not Egyptian. He's not Pakistani. He's not Indian. He's not dark enough. He's not light enough.
Don't get me wrong.
Choosing someone from your culture is a priority. It's good to have the same culture, same language, it will make things easy, but to make it an obstacle, I will not get you married until and unless someone like somebody told me not from the same country he has to be from the same city as ours.
And his daughter till now 34
single deprived from the word mama
Allah said, yeah, one we are Muslims. This book, this sunnah have detailed everything Allah said, A Kurama come in the morning at car come the best of you in the sight of Allah azza wa jal. It's not the Pakistani or the Arabic or the Indian. It is the one with the best of Taqwa. So when someone comes with good Dean, I keep repeating because not anybody you give your daughter, this is your daughter, with good Dean and good UCLA and shows responsibility Bismillah yaki, if he is poor, and you can afford to help him, because these people with good luck and good Dean, they are very rare commodity, they are very rare to find. If you find somebody like this, and you can support him
Wallahi Do not waste any time.
This is a great opportunity. What are you going to tell Allah when he tells you, I send you this person for your daughter with love and with Dean and you insisted that he has to have the house the size and in that neighborhood and that kind of car and that kind of degree? What are you going to tell Allah azza wa jal
having the same culture will help a lot, but it should not be an obstacle in delaying my daughter or my son's marriage. A colocado stuffer Allah for staff who know what to go for right?
Salatu salam ala mon learn about
how long are we going to keep insisting about the culture?
Isn't for my kids and your kids are American.
It's an American marrying an American.
It's an American marrying an American.
Isn't that the case?
Akula como en de la he is Kocoum. If this is my criteria, because the cultures are all different, and every culture has good and bad. Every culture. If we make
our culture as Islam,
then everything will be easy. From the choice of the bride.
All the way to the
designing of the wedding, everything will become easy. Everything is already set. Our culture is Islam.
Then comes the biggest obstacle also. She has to finish her education.
Educating our daughters is something essential, very important. That you be a few What if the education is 78659 10 years?
How long? Why doesn't she get married? And they study together and continue together and grow together? What's the big deal? Why not?
Why not?
Who said no.
You are delaying our children want to protect themselves from falling into haram because the more obstacles we do.
Then the other only door is adultery
immoral behavior, *, and maybe homosexuality. Or maybe like this is the new thing which has inspired this Kokhba sisters marrying non Muslims. Wallah. Yeah. When you don't know how many of our gods are marrying non Muslims, which is the word marrying is wrong. There's nothing called a Muslim. Marrying a non Muslim. This is called Pure Xena.
Sister came and said can I attend their wedding? No, you are congratulating them
I'm on committing Zina
and Muslim I cannot marry in a Muslim cannot all these children's have children of haram. This is his inner relationship. And this is what's happening. You might tell yourself, oh, this will never happen to me but it's happening to our Muslim brothers and sisters. Girls are coming pregnant. Yeah one this is besides this an area from Allah azza wa jal, which should be enough. Besides, it's a sunnah from Rasulullah sallallahu it should be enough. It's a protection for these children that we clean so much we love we love them so much.
If he started committing adultery because he cannot control himself anymore, and he's been begging you to get married, and you kept him putting all these obstacles what if that person died while committing a sin, you want to protect him from any kind of harm in this dunya and it's easy for you to think of him being punished in * for this major sin he has committed.
My brothers and sisters
with the presence of social media
things have became become completely different.
It's not the same anymore like me and you we grew up it's not the same. We keep comparing it's not the same at all things have completely changed.
Completely changed.
Haram is so accessible,
very easy, accessible.
And if we do not provide the halal alternative, the Haram alternative is there waiting.
I will repeat the hadith of Rasulullah Salallahu Salam. If you don't do that, there will be corruption on earth. corruption on earth worth so don't read and great evil
And subhanAllah we are seeing it
so that they are Rasul Allah rasool Allah, you have told the truth
the brothers and sisters Allah subhanaw taala said when what meaning when or when not bad? I will Yeah, but you don't want to be maruf when how Nandan mancha
the believing men and believing women are really Yeah.
They are guardians of one another, they order good and they forbid evil. We have to try to make this good, easy and dominant for our children and try to minimize the evil as much as we can.
My beloved parents, we must let go of some of these cultural beliefs and desires because many times they become obstacles in the way of our children getting married.
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