Mirza Yawar Baig – Turn a mistake into a learning opportunity #3
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AI: Transcript ©
What you are seeing is the
daily circles that I'm blessed with,
which I watch
as I do my work everyday. And then
last,
there are,
now that there's a reddish orange bird on
the bottom with the male,
house or male rose peach.
That's, this will
those are my
hydrangeas,
which are showing the
beautiful
color.
Then
I'm gonna keep this on so you can
see it as I as I talk. We
on the on the top, around 2 o'clock,
the round construction is a nest,
which, I bought on Amazon,
which is,
was I hope they will come back,
inhabited with it by a, Carolina,
rent. It's a very small, very fast speed.
Now
we come to the 3rd part, the last
concluding part of
the question,
on
correcting, and the of,
students,
children, and so on and so forth. And
those of you who are wondering this black,
umbrella like thing on the post,
that is an anti squirrel device, which is
very effective.
Otherwise,
the squirrels go up and, they get into
the bird feed. I don't mind them eating
from the from the from the ground because
they have a right to code as well.
So I I deliberately, as a matter of
fact, scatter grain on the ground for the
for them as well as for,
doves, which you can see there at the
back, the morning doves,
who are bottom feeders. They are feeders off
the ground.
So I do that, but I don't want
the squirrels in my,
in my feeders.
The other birds are sparrows,
as well as female,
rose fringes.
That's what we see.
To come back to
the story, the issue of, how do we
correct? Should we correct at all? And if
we should correct, of course, the answer is
of course you should correct.
Otherwise, what's the whole point of, the survey?
Then how must that be done in a
way which is, productive and
conducive to learning. And as I said, the
topic of this will be like of this
whole,
episode is,
how to turn
a mistake into a learning opportunity.
Which bring me to the 3rd part, which
is the issue of the
position
of parents.
We have this beautiful dua in the Quran.
Have mercy on,
Rabii,
have mercy
on my parents.
As they had mercy on me
or as they were
my robot in the sense of in a
human sense,
as they were my rubs,
when I was born. Now,
the the word is,
means
usually the English translation which is done lord.
But the lord here is not as in,
some
designation or a or a feudal lord or
something.
Here, the lordship
is comes from the the
of,
which
is a very nurturing,
safe water quality.
The rabbi is is is the one who
is the,
is somebody who
the way we describe it is who takes,
something which is nahis,
which is incomplete, which is small, which is,
you know, not worthy of mention.
Stage by stage
to a level of command,
to
a level of perfection.
So
the one who does that, who takes
something which is imperfect
to a level of perfection,
not suddenly,
not by force,
but by
from stage to stage, by stage by stage.
Something which
is incomplete,
which is small, which is, which needs development
to to develop that stage by stage to
a level of perspective. And that's why I
always make the way I say, you are
my rub.
You know from where
you brought me to where I am today,
and I have my expectation because you said,
I
am for my slave as he expects
me to be.
And therefore, I expect,
with the greatest reverence,
the same from you going forward, which means
take me and get me, make me more
and more obedient to you, make me more
and more love you, make me more and
more somebody who appreciates you and thanks you
and make me somebody who will have a
and who will be admitted into Jannah inshallah
because that is the ultimate
stage of perfection.
We ask Allah
for that for all of us that we
are entered into Jannah without his heart.
So
Now, therefore, when we are talking about,
the responsibility of,
of parenting, the responsibility of correcting of,
we are talking about, first of all, a
mindset. And the mindset
is not to punish the mindset, is not
to establish our authority in a draconian
and, horrible way.
It's not to show them who is boss.
None of that. It is a very
nurturing,
a very,
full of love
activity
of developing somebody, making something good out of
them.
Obviously,
part of that would be,
to correct mistakes.
And I've already done an episode on how
one should correct mistakes
and therefore we should focus on that. So
should you correct? Of course you should correct,
But when you are correcting,
make sure,
number 1, that your nia is to correct.
Your nia is not to establish your authority.
Your nia is not to, you know, show
your brutality. The niyya is not to,
so these are not any of those,
kind of base things. The niyya is really
and truly
to help the other person to develop and
part of development
is to be able to recognize mistakes
and to take corrective action. This is goes
without saying,
all goodness begins from with,
istafar and tawba. So when we make,
istafar and we make turn towards Allah
that is where goodness begins from. So therefore,
we should correct,
but always keep in mind the reason you
are correcting
is because you want the best for them.
Now one,
practical rule, which is
never correct when you are angry.
Recognize the fact that you and I have
emotions, that our emotions are powerful, that emotions
are more than likely
to take over our actions if we don't
watch it, and therefore they will create trouble
for us. Therefore, do not speak when you
are emotionally upset.
When you are angry, just walk away, go
away, come back, and then say whatever you
want to say,
and then do it in the way which
I have already described, so I won't repeat
that.
Listen to the the episode before this,
which is number 2, and you will
get a detailed explanation of how corrective action
must be taken in a positive manner.
I hope that is clear.
By all means, ask questions.
That is how we learn.
There is
a woodpecker,
on that. Now he's here. You can see
that.
That is a a Downey woodpecker, and this
is a female,
which is just gonna be anyway. So
the key thing is to
remember, focus on your own attitude, why you're
doing that? Do that in the best possible
way. Do that in a way which is
constructive and productive, and never do it when
you're angry.
Recognize the fact that you will be angry.
There will be good reason why you're angry,
but don't that's not the time to talk.
So give yourself a break, go away, come
back when you when you're cool down, and
then
do your correcting
in a way which is beneficial
for,
the person concerned. And always order.
Keep And that's why I began by Again,
I'm not repeating that word, I'm just saying
that I begin with,
asking
what are the alternative, what else could you
have done. Believe me, it's an eye opening
thing. When you ask especially children, why did
you do something? Sometimes they have a perspective
on life that is, that we have denied
ourselves. So it it's a big learning opportunity
as far as we are concerned as well
if you give it a chance and if
you
really want to learn. So I,
recommend that. I ask Allah to help us
to
learn in the best possible way and to
be pleased with us and,
use us
to correct ourselves
while we are correcting others.
Oh my god. There's the there's the northern
cardinal,
one of the most spectacular birds.
There he is on this
feeder.
Let's see what else he does. This is
one of my favorite absolutely favorite birds. He
looks like a military colonel or something.
If you look at his at his face,
he has a what looks like a, you
know,
a beard,
and
and mustaches.
Amazing
amazingly beautiful
bird that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has created,
SubhanAllah.
He just blew it. Alright.