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Reminders Home Environment First
Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
File Size: 10.80MB
Episode Transcript ©
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In Al Hamdulillah salat wa salam O Allah shuffelin via or Allah Allah he was having human Allah. about
Allah subhanaw taala said yeah you're Latina Amano Omar Saeed.
Allah said yo yo believe
be with those people who are truthful, be with the truthful. Guru Masaki.
the definition of one who's truthful?
In Islam, the definition one was truthful is the person who,
with whom there is no difference between what he says and what he does.
Complete congruence between belief, feeling speech action.
If there is a lack of congruence that is gone, if
a person believes something, but says something else, or person says something and does something, as these are all signs of life.
The people have said, the people of truthfulness are people who say what they believe.
And they do what they say. There's no difference between these things.
The reason I'm saying is because today,
many parents, they talk about how bad the external environment is.
They say how bad the society is and how bad the external environment is, and how bad the marketplace is, and how bad the schools or the colleges or, and so on, you hear this quite a lot.
The reality of life is, what we need to look at,
is how good or bad our home environment.
And that's why I say to people don't worry about how bad the society is. In any case, you have no control over society. If somebody puts a billboard with some haram image on it, you can't change it.
If someone is making a TV program, with Haram in it, you cannot change the program. But you can prevent the watching of that program in your house.
So I tell people don't worry about the external environment, external environment is not in your control. You worry about your own internal environment.
How Islamic is your home?
That is the key thing. The key thing is to say how Islamic is your home.
And it's good for us to understand that children listen with their eyes, not with their ears.
children listen with their eyes, not with their ears.
You can talk to the cows come home, it has no effect on the children.
They will do what they see you do not what they hear you speaking.
For example, if you tell a child, you should be truthful.
But then a phone call comes
and you tell the child tell them I'm not here.
The child learns the actual value of truth.
you tell the child that it is dishonest
to steal, that you should not steal.
But the child sees that you brought home from your office writing pad you brought home some pens, you brought home various things,
the child learns the actual importance of stealing.
You tell the child that only Allah subhana wa Taala can harm or health law voila a law that only Allah can give benefits or only Allah can cause benefit to stop. There's no one who can do either you say this.
But then the child sees that when you are building a house, you are consulting a vast to experts.
And that man tells you you put the bathroom in this corner and you put this in that corner and so on and so forth. The child learns the meaning of the width,
the actual meaning of the heat.
You tell the child
that to worship, that shirke is the worst form of sinning Allah Subhana Allah what is Allah say worship? Allah has said that he will forgive everything except check.
If someone dies on ship, then there is no forgiveness for that person. Allah subhanaw taala said this you and I cannot create a rule that over rules the rule of Allah.
Allah subhanaw taala there in the sheer colossal moon azeem
Allah did not say nelco for Allah Allah Allah Allah not say Cooper is the biggest loser chick is because I am not promoting over.
But as saying that we cannot say about the Kitab of Allah what Allah has not said.
So you say the giant, the giant giant listens to the Father saying all this evil joke is this and that. And then the child sees that the father and the mother
are going to this law calm and this cover and this mother and this dog,
and they are committing should. They're asking the person who they think is in that grave
for this, and that, for this favor and that favor.
So the child then does the actual value of shift.
We say to the children, don't watch bad programs on television. Don't look at naked women don't do this, don't do that. And then the child sees that when some cereal comes. The father, the mother, the grandfather, the grandmother, and all the children, they all sit together in the same room, and they watch the same cereal and what is that cereal.
In that cereal, there is disobedience of parents.
In that cereal, there is shamelessness there is drinking of alcohol, there is somebody having an affair with somebody else's wife,
there is all forms of graphite and all forms of haram are in that cereal.
And all of these people three generations, what's that cereal without any shame.
So the child then learns the value of having an affair with somebody else's wife, he learns the value of drinking alcohol, he learns the value of lying and stealing and cheating. Why? Because this is what he saw you doing.
To tell the child the value of respecting parents,
the same as respect your parents. Why? Because the Quran says this and there is a law that is seldom said that and so on and so on. The child hears all of this. And then the child sees how you treat your mother.
And the child sees how you treat your own father.
And the child then learns the real value of respecting parents.
And a day will come when the child will treat you not the way you taught the child by speaking to him. But the way the child learned by looking at you and watching you treat your own parents.
You tell the children, the brothers and sisters, you tell them we should all be together. And the brothers and sisters should not fight with each other. And the brothers and sisters must treat each other well, and so on what the child knows that you don't speak to your own brother. But the child knows that you have filed a suit in the court against for some property against your own brother. But the child knows that you do not speak to your own sister. But the child knows that you swallowed your sister's property, which I no longer have this. Don't fool yourself. Do not fool yourself that children don't see children. I've got two eyes, they see better than you and we believe me.
Your children see the truth of what is happening. Their hearts are pure Allah subhanaw taala opens their eyes in their hearts. So now what is the child learning, the child is learning the real meaning of motherhood, he is learning the real meaning of being together.
So why then are we surprised when our children don't respect us, when in your old age, you find that your children have thrown you into one room of the house.
And that also that no one comes to visit you no one comes to talk to you. And your child believes that and your child now has grown up your child is you know, he's got a big job and this and that and the other maybe he lives in another country. And he thinks that if he keeps a server to look after you that is that's more than enough. What more do you want?
Why is why are you surprised now if that if your children now, the two brothers do not see eye to eye. And the very the way they do not see eye to eye is that they will not talk to one another they will not speak to one another. Their children disrespect each other when you're away. Why? Because your children when they disrespected your brother
who was their uncle, who had the same status as their father, you said nothing. Why? Because you don't like the uncle.
So tacitly if not actively encourage your children to disrespect another elder in your family. You treat the children as it be to disrespect your own brother to now when you grow old, you find the same thing happening. And you're very surprised. And you say oh but you see those values of society have collapsed.
And in my grandfather's day My point is even in your grandfather's day if things were so good outcome they're not. They're not the same today. Because you are the link. You are the link between your father's time and your children's time.
Please understand is very clearly you are the link between your father
Time and your children's time. If your children have values which have degraded, you are responsible, nobody else
because you are the link, if that link worked properly
and your father's value was so great, then your children would have the same values.
So don't look outside.
The world is not outside the world is inside inside the house.
You are the one who turns on the television You are the one who brought the television into the house, you are the one who paid for that cable connection, you are the one who turns on the television, religiously. At the time that particular program comes.
You teach your child the importance of saliva, oh we must pray on time but then hey Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, and this one here
which comes the television program comes Which one do you give importance to
you tell your child the importance of reading the Quran.
And you give one more reason to come and teach the child the Quran.
And simultaneously you also because the child goes to school and has to have some teacher and you have a physics master or an English pastor or somebody. That teacher also comes. If the child when the manager comes if the child wants to study studied, if he doesn't want to study you tell them on his staff name on Sunday, as you know.
As an aprotic, tamales up, nobody even has the courtesy to phone that volleys up in advance, the water will come and then it goes away.
But the same child who is tired when he comes to see to reading the Quran, when that math teacher comes or the physics teacher comes as a child is tired and not tired, he will be picked up by the scruff of his neck and will be put before the teacher and he has to study there is no option there.
For the child then learns the comparative importance of the caliber of Allah compared to whatever else He is studying in school.
My brothers I stopped fooling ourselves, please stop fooling ourselves.
If you are interested in your children developing good values, start practicing them in your house. Forget the external environment that is not in your control anyway.
What is in your control is what is inside your house.
If your children see Haram, they will do haram Believe me.
Believe me, if your children see her arm inside the house, they will do her arm, you can talk and you can say what you want, you can bring this molana and that molvi and that shares that this stone so to come and talk to you Makes no difference whatsoever. They will do what they see the parents doing, not even the grandparents. Even if you have grandparents staying in the same house, your grandfather your your father can pray five times a day. But your children will pray as many times as they see you pray.
Don't make any mistake, do not think that because your grandfather, your father is staying with them that he has an influence he has no influence. Their children have the influence of yourself. Your father can have a beard from here till his ankles, but your children see you shaving your children will shave
you can talk about love avasarala but your children are seeing you destroying the sooner they will do it. And the final point before I close and do remember that the armor of your children will be a source of benefit for you, or will be a source of regret for you. Because both their good deeds and their bad deeds will follow you into your cover.
They will come into your cover
survival area or average area you are the cause of this nothing else I'm not talking about you brought up a child properly, maybe you give them good education and so on and so on. May Allah protect us from that but later on, once the child grew up and went out of your house, something switched in his mind he turned over he did something that is not your fault. Because you made your you made the effort hamdulillah you made the effort while the child was in your control you did whatever you could do insha Allah Allah subhanaw taala will not punish you for what the child now the child has grown up as an adult. And then he or she does something on their own, which is
completely out of the out of what you taught them. That is not your fault. But what about the child who received that kind of that kind of upbringing in your own home? How many people do we know do I know? Who as adults, they cannot even read the Quran in Arabic.
I'm not even talking about understanding I'm just saying even character recognition, just reading the karma of Allah subhanaw taala even without understanding they can't even do that. Why? Because they never learned nobody taught them how they want to learn and as the parents teach.
I'm not going to make a whole list of things but I am saying that if you did not do their upbringing, the way you should have done it.
Then Believe me
Every time he drinks alcohol, you are going to be drinking fire in your cupboard.
Every time he is doing something Haram, you will feel that in your cupboard
and every time whatever he does, and remember if that is how you brought them up now what happens to the following generation and the following generation
finished gone gone completely. I know people in this whole same city we we seem to live in Hyderabad as if we are living inside the car and not even the harem. Between there we are so safe. I know people personally
who that whole generation is no longer Muslim. All they have is just a Muslim name. They do not even know the caliber Shahada. If you ask them tell me what is the caliber Shah he will say wushi.
They have no clue. They have no clue. They do not know how to pray. They do not they don't even know as I said don't even know how to read the Quran. They know nothing about Islam. They go to clubs, they drink alcohol, they dance, they fornicate. They do all kinds of things. All in the name of modernity and all in the name of development and whatnot. Only thing is they have a Muslim named Do you think this is enough? And that generation entire generation as a whole household has gone out of Islam.
And when their father dies, what happens the son stands there like like a cow or a buffalo? He does not know he has no clue what to do.
Having the son by the side of the father's dead body you may or you may as well have had they know the house cat or something standing there is no difference.
At least maybe the house cat remembers Allah subhanaw taala but the son does not know what to do. He has no clue He can't even pray for the forgiveness of his own father.
Even if you praise it has no meaning because the man is not in Islam anyway. What what value is is nothing zero.
Why because the parents paid no attention to their Islamic upbringing the whole attention was on terms of in terms of Julia Julia Julia dunya dunya dunya anytime there was any question of anything Islamic versus anything of dunya Islamic got thrown out the dunya got residence result this now when you are dead now when you are a newcomer you are getting the result of those Mr.
May Allah protect us May Allah give us the good sense to understand as I said forget the outside environment the environment of your child begins inside your own house and that you have control over
so control it
make Toba control the environment in the house lead the home environment be a benchmark against which the child will compare whatever else he sees in the world he is right or not he looks at it is it does it have in my house if it happens in my house and the light is right if it does not have it in my house then can't be right
make your home environment the standards the benchmark against which the children will measure whatever else they see in the world you can't stop them from going in the world you can you can protect them all your life but you can create for them a standard against which they will measure everything
I tell people I said my friend when they told me I think my son is my son has some is falling into bad company or my daughter is falling into it doesn't have good friends it is a Please tell your son and your daughter to invite your friends to your house call them let them come into your house let them have a meal with you or whatever it is. If your house environment is good, their son or daughter will see the true value of those friends the moment they enter the front door of the house
and either the friend will change or the son or the daughter was just gonna go I'm sorry I don't think you know friendship doesn't work because you are like we don't know what you are like you know you don't fit anywhere
but when there is no difference
then where is the where is the benchmark the children are gonna be there no standard they have no standard to compare against. So then they go with the flow whatever is happening they go with the flow but remember it's not so simple as that they're among the among the three things that that come with the sama Algeria, the Salah Salim he said three things, all the armor of the person finished the moment he dies, except three things, what are they the good deeds of a solid child,
his or her, their good deeds have a solid number to any work of staccato jharia, which they have done any good deeds, any any hospitals and schools, Mrs. And this and that whatever they have done any thing which they have spent money which causes benefit to the worship of God. And the third one is any knowledge with the new and which they taught to people as long as that knowledge
Any beneficial knowledge of course it begins with the knowledge of Islam which is the best of them, but any other beneficial knowledge also inshallah which they have taught to people, except for these three things, nothing else will have them.
So what about this child? Now, the opposite of that, what about the child who is not solid? And the child is not salad because the child was born bad, the child is not salad because you made him but
where did he learn all the evil in your house from you?
Because you are the first teacher, you are the first teacher of the child, whether you like it or not, the mother and the father are the first digital child, the child does not have never heard the foreign in his house. Because the father never reads the camera. The mother never reads the Quran, the sound of the column of Allah the child is a total stranger to that he has no clue what is this outwear is example in from
and so on and so on.
So what about the deeds of the church, who's responsible, you are responsible, as I said, in the way we all like to talk about, you know, my father's time this happened that happened, if the same thing is not happening in your children's time, who is the link you
so let us ensure that we live our lives in such a way that they are worthy of emulation, and that we create a source of sadaqa jariya people like to pray for children. But when you get children now make sure those children are not a source of Allah for you that those children are a source of love and a source of benefit for you. So
let us make Nia that we will change our home environment starting now. And believe me there is a there is no small way of no no easy way of doing it. Do it one shot at a time has finished. It's like this ever giving up smoking somebody smokes 240 cigarettes a day. If you want to give up smoking, what do you do? You take the old Jim maglock and throw it in the garbage? That's the way to submit it. You say no, no, I spoke 14 hours for 39 and then after three four days I spoke 38 and then I was 37 you will die before you finish working there is no way it's gonna happen. You want to give up smoking you chuck the whole thing out. And that is the thing to do. Check it out, go and
check a new house. Whatever is against the Quran and Sunnah whatever is against the dollar, check it out. One shot. Once you get over the shock, everything is fine.
Don't do this, oh, there's no gradual way of doing it. There's no
there's no gradual way of making less than less. No, check it out. Change let's ensure that we change our environments or the way that we bring for the children in their lives. A benchmark that they can emulate a home parents that they can be proud of. That they will be they will pray for you when you are gone and they will say Alhamdulillah Allah subhanho wa Taala gave me these beautiful parents who taught me all that I know.
And this is one of the things I will talk more about it but this is one of the problems that's happened with the Muslim Ummah today.
Instead of parents being teachers parents become something else anyway that's tomorrow Shall
we will guide him while he was savage manga