Living Islam – Raising a Muslim Child #15
Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig
Series: Mirza Yawar Baig - Living Islam
File Size: 28.72MB
Hello, I'm hungry, learn a little bit Alameen
wa Salatu was Salam ala Shafi lambier Even mousseline Muhammad Rasul Allah is Allah Allah Allah He Laila Ali he was over he was
the Sleeman, Kathira and cathedra from ababu. My dear brothers and sisters that Hamdulillah we are coming to a close of our sessions on raising a Muslim child, I ask Allah subhanaw taala to make all of these means of
great hire and baraka and the means of raising children, who will be the real and true asset for us, in the Accra, children who will be sadaqa jariya children whose
presence in our lives will be a blessing on us insha Allah,
Allah subhanho wa Taala gave that into the hands of the parents.
And Allah mashallah
children turn out as they have been raised.
Practically everything that the child ends up doing begins at home.
Yes, there are some things where
children learn both positive and negative things outside the home. So could be in school.
Many times it's in college and university many times it's in faraway lands where our children go to study all of its handler, this is part of life. You cannot take your child your apron strings and give him in your kitchen, the olives on his life, that will be a very negative thing to even think about later on doing.
So the child must leave home must go out must stand on their own feet must become confident adults must be productive members of society. And the primary job of the parents is to give them the foundation to be all of these things. To give them the framework on which they will
live their lives. A framework for decision making a set of criteria for decision making, which will inshallah keep them safe. By safe I know I don't mean only physical safety, but much more importantly, mental, emotional and spiritual safety.
Safety from shaitan shift safety from the deception of the knifes safety from all the
evil that surrounds us in this world. My brothers and sisters, I remind myself I knew that
There are two kinds of change. One is catastrophic change, dramatic change, sudden change.
if it doesn't kill us, it only makes us stronger. And it is something that we learn to cope with.
You suffer because of that change, but then you turn around and you learn to cope with that. But much more dangerous is gradual change.
They have the Battle of the boiling frog, which we use as a teaching story. And the battle of the boiled frog is that if you take a frog and put it into a pot of hot water, the frog will immediately jump out right the water is too hot, the frog will immediately jump out of the leap out of the pot. But if you take this frog and put it into a pot of water at room temperature
and let the frog sit there and get used to it. And then you put this part you light a fire under the party put the port on the store and you'd like to store and gradually the water heats. The frog being cold blooded animal gradually gets used to this water which is hotter and hotter until it gets to a point where the water is now lethally hot, but the frog is paralyzed because the frog has become muscles everything has become flaccid cannot move and the frog then gets boiled because it can it cannot deal with that change. Now if you think about that, this change gave to the frog very gradually. Similarly another one
there is a there's a this is a like a trick question. The trick question is that if we have a pond, right is a large pond with lilies on it. And these lily pads the leaves
If they double in area every day, right, they start with start with the two leaves, and to become four, four becomes eight, eight becomes 1616 become 32 and 630 to become 64, and so on. Every day, the lilypad the area of the pond, which is covered by the lily pads, is doubling.
And if it takes 48 days to completely cover the pond, how many days does it take to cover half the pond? Right?
The lily pads are multiplying at a rate where every day, the cover doubles the area twice the area of the previous day.
It takes 48 days to cover the entire point. How many days does it take to cover half the point?
Guess what the answer is?
The answer is 47 days, it takes 47 days to cover half the pond. And then that one day,
the whole pond gets covered because it is doubling every day. So have the pond next day is the full part. Now, for 47 days, the lily pads are doubling in size, they're doubling in the area that has been covered. But we don't notice that we do not notice that. And suddenly, on the 48 day, we are surprised to see oh my god, how did this happen? But it was happening for the last 47 days. Except that you didn't notice. Now, this is what happens with children.
The changes in the children, their mentality, their attitudes, right? All the signs of whether this child is shocking you outside, whether this child is a is going to be evil, or good, whether this child is going to be a loser or winner whether the child is going to be somebody who
you know is
will be an asset to you or liability, all of these signs. Think about them as those lily pads in those 47 days. The signs are there. Except that because it happens so quietly, and it happens so gradually. We just don't notice. We are too busy in our jobs, we are too busy in doing whatever we do we are too busy in our entertainment we are too busy and this and that, that we do not pay attention to what is right there in front of our noses.
And that is what is happening to this chat.
This is where parents have to be particularly careful.
Children listen with their eyes.
They don't care what they what you say until they see what you do. There is only one way of teaching and that is through personal example. So Muslim children must see their parents subordinating their lives and their desires to Allah subhanaw taala and to the and to the deen that his messenger Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam brought not selectively subordinating, not doing one thing and not doing something else.
Right. For example, praying for praying five times a day, but not praying in the masjid, praying in the masjid. But shaving your beard,
praying in the masjid, wearing the hijab, coming out of the budget take up the hijab.
So what is the child learning? Do you think the child is learning that we should obey Allah? Or is the child learning that we can disobey Allah if you feel like disobeying Allah which one you decide for yourself? Because the child is seeing both behaviors. The child on the one hand is seeing and hearing you say that we must obey Allah subhanaw taala and we must follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah salah
but on the other hand, the child is seeing that you obey Allah selectively and you follow the Sunnah selectively, and the basis of your selection is Do I like it or not?
Not whether Allah likes it or not, not whether a sorcerer likes it or not. Whether I like it or not.
Evidence is the doesn't work. This does not work because selective obedience is disobedience. Children must grow up with the all of nothing but Allah subhanaw taala in their hearts. They will see their parents joy in submitting to Allah subhanaw taala actively seeking opportunities to do more and more, not less and less.
This minimalist thinking that we have in our lives. For the deen we do the minimum
for our dunya for our desires, we do the maximum.
We don't realize that but that is the message that we are giving to our children.
Whatever else you say to the
against this is just duck water off a duck's back
And worse, it actually detracts from credibility. The Muslim child must understand the meaning of connection with Allah subhanaw taala by seeing the look of intense devotion and concentration on the face of his parents when they stand in Salah.
She must feel the love of Allah subhanaw taala kindled in his or her heart by listening to the Quran recited with love and understanding and longing to meet its author, longing to meet almost rather than she must feel that he must feel the trembling in the heart, when she hears the words that she may not even understand it.
Allah subhanaw taala the word Allah, the name of Allah must not be a strange word to her or him mentioned only during worship.
Allah subhanaw taala and his messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam must be mentioned often and related to the daily activities of parents and children until they become part of their existential awareness.
In order to Zuma Ron was regarded as one which means is he whose heart Allah subhanaw taala has opened to Islam, so that he is he isn't a light from Islam.
Is this person the same as a non Muslim who does not understand Allah.
So war to those whose hearts are hardened against the remembrance of Allah, they are in plain error. Allah has sent down the best statement, a book this Quran, its parts resembling each other in goodness and truth. often repeated, the skins of those who hear the rub della della who shiver from it when they recite it to hear,
then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala that is guidance of Allah.
He guides there with whomever he pleases, and whomever Allah subhanaw taala allows to go astray. For him there is no guide.
This is something that must become part of our lives.
Allah subhanaw taala describing this beautiful idyllic River, the actual physical changes that we feel in our body, the change in body temperature, the the the goosebumps on the skin, when you are having a very deep personal, emotional experience.
Give children memories,
memories which will strengthen them in times of difficulty, memories which will sustain them in times of sadness, memories which will light their path in the darkness.
A Muslim child brought up right will yearn to learn the Quran that he's heard his parents recite so well.
Let your children remember you by the sound of your voice reciting Quran by the sound of your recitation and 200 by the power of your DUA, whose effect they saw in there and your lives.
By how used to select every option on the basis of does it Please Allah,
by the way, you avoided everything doubtful, and never did anything that had any chance of being displeasing to Allah subhanaw taala your child then will not need to be persuaded, much less forced to obey Allah.
Children imitate and they learn to respect and value what they see their
And so if they see their elders valuing money
over everything else, that is what they will value. If they see them value Allah and the Sunnah of Rasulullah salah, that is what they learn also to value.
If they see their parents, changing and justifying and twisting or simply ignoring the rules of Islam in order to fulfill their desires, they also learn that it is acceptable to live a life of hypocrisy, claiming to be Muslim, yet disobeying Allah Subhana Allah and His messenger so
if they see the contrary, then they learn that the right place of everything, the world in its place, and the creator of the world in his place, to be loved and obeyed without question or argument. So, the connection with Allah subhanaw taala is what must be built first.
This connection with Allah subhanaw taala comes from doing two things. Number one, from mentioning the glory and magnificence of Allah subhanaw taala after
talking about that, many times
mentioning the glory of Allah and mentioning the
the majesty of ultramarathon so in the creation in
The Quran in the small things in life which you see on a daily basis.
The second thing that can which comes is through Shaka actively thanking Allah subhanaw taala for everything, make sure the takia Kalam make make it the the often most often repeated thing on our tongues. Unfortunately, we are a very ungrateful people.
Very sadly, the opposite happens with us, which is that we talk more about things that we find unpleasant. Right? They occur constantly complaining Muslims have become complainers.
We constantly complain, we're groaning and moaning about something or the other.
There's change that, that has changed that that has become thankful people. Yes, in life, there will be things which are painful, there will be things which are challenging that we think things which you know, don't really
that we don't really like. But there will also be many things which we are which will which we need to be really so grateful for.
Some of them which we take for granted. Practically everyday
things our own faculties for example, the fact that our body works, the fact that we are not in pain, the fact that we are not suffering, you're not sick, right?
The fact that we have hamdulillah and inshallah good families, the fact that we have friends who can we're concerned about as the people who take care of us the people who are concerned about us who who are willing to do something for us. The fact that we for those of us who live in countries where we live in peace and safety and security and harmony for the fact that we live in such countries. And then we wrote live in other countries where the opposite is true.
Where to be a must just to be a Muslim is a crime to say Allah Allah, Allah, Allah is a crime. To make to pray salah is a crime, to have a beard is a crime to wear a hijab is a crime.
There are parties like this where Muslims are suffering on a daily basis. Hamdulillah you and I are not in that situation. We need to thank Allah subhanaw taala loudly and clearly in front of our children every single day,
and many, many, many other things.
So be thankful and talk about the glory and majesty of Allah. And the connection with Rosaura Salam is built through his Syrah. So read the Sierra study, Sierra make the stories of the life or source or a solemn part of your daily conversation. The key is this. The key is that the teaching and learning of Islam must not be an event. It must not be a class, it must not be a lecture interest must be something that is done some days sometime once in a while. But it's something which is part of my breathing part of my living. Every single day we talk about that every single day. It is mentioned many times in our life. This is how the love of Allah subhanaw taala and the non western
setup, we come into the heart. This is true on the law of anything.
Right? The what we love the most we talk about the most.
What we ignore, what we don't mention, gradually becomes more and more distant.
Someone asked me this question.
They said how can young children be introduced to Islam through an innovative method of teaching, which inspires their imagination to understand the magnificence of the Creator.
So I said to them, the best way I know to inspire the imagination to understand the magnificence of Allah subhanaw taala is to use his own creation for it.
Give them give them small projects, after introducing a concept to them, for example, take them to a huge tree
where I live, there are magnificent oak trees, huge, very tall trees.
And the girth is such that you can't even put your arms around it, it takes like two or three people to join their arms to go around the tree magnet magnificent tool box to take them to the huge tree. And then let them see the tree feel it, you know, rub their hand on the on the back and then show them the seed of this tree. Obviously you prepare for it you carry this in your pocket table
and say that you know that this tree came out of the seat?
How do you think that happened?
And let them talk. The key is not to give them the answer. And it's not the key is not to correct them. let their imaginations flow. Right let them say that an angel came and did this and did that or something. Let them say what they want.
Just listen to them. Let the imagination flow. Don't correct them. Don't say don't know what is not at all.
Then give them charts and crayons and let them
do many things with it. You know dress the dream whatnot. But one of the things give them a task and say let them draw the tree inside the seat
as they think of it
to this day
We came out of out of the seed, what did it look like when it was inside the seed? And as the what do you think the tree is saying to Allah subhanaw taala when it is inside the seed,
the tree is talking to us rather, what is he saying to us? Well,
let them talk and talk and talk and talk.
Let them collect leaves of different trees, present in books, so that they will have a whole scrapbook of fresh leaves at the end of the project. Then tell them
all these are leaves, right.
So, in that respect, they all like the old leaves, they're not fruit or something else, or flowers or leaves.
But each one is different from the other.
Now, why do you why do you think candidate that
even if you take leaves from the same tree,
as I'm sitting here, there's a dogwood tree right in front of me, there's a maple on one side, on the left, there is a
next to the maple, and there are two magnolias, there is a cherry tree on my right.
So all these leaves, but if I collect, say just the Maple Leafs
if I collect 20 maple leaves, believe me every one of those Maple Leafs is different than the other.
So tell them this. One is that the maple leaf is different from the dogwood is different from the cherry is different from the Magnolia.
The Banyan leaf is different from the people is different from the name.
But if I just take 20, neem leaves, each one is different from the other. So why is Allah doing this? Why do you think Allah did this?
Let them talk, then tell them to go and find two levers, same tree that are completely different to each other.
find two leaves which are exactly the same and truly, which are totally different.
And you will find that they probably will never find two leaves exactly the same.
And then ask them why Allah subhanaw taala made these leaves differently.
See how the leaves Sprout on the shoot?
This brought in a spiral farm where each leaf has maximum exposure to the sun. Let them figure that out. Don't tell them that.
Then tell them to look at each other and spot differences. Make sure they don't make fun of each other don't mocking them. But differently, how are buyers different to yours, ours, you're no different from mine, and so on. So
respectfully and ask the same question and say why are those differences? And then tell them that there are two artists, one makes a painting and then makes 100 color photocopies of the painting and the other one makes 101 different paintings. So who is a better, more imaginative, more creative artist?
And then as they say, whichever one is? Why do you say that?
Then make them print out their fingerprints. Take a ink pad and get them get their fingerprints.
And then say to the each of each of you has a fingerprint that is not only different from others in this room, but from all human beings anywhere in the world that expand this direction.
And also you know what? Before you came into this world, this fingerprint did not exist.
And when you are gone, it will never come back.
So it's a unique fingerprint. Which Allah subhanaw taala gave only you and nobody got it before you not your parents or your grandparents, not your siblings, nobody. And nobody will get it after you. Not your children autographed and nobody.
What do you think of the artists who does all this?
Who's that artist?
Believe me, if you do this, well, it will blow their minds it will be a lifetime experience.
After all, this is what a lot of our data told us. He taught us to introduce himself like this. When the first ad were revealed
Carabus me Rebecca the Kulluk read in the name of Europe who created everything which is
think about is what was that read?
And Allah subhanaw taala saying read what was there to read Jibreel is Rob did not come with a book. So he's not presenting a book and saying read this no read
this read this no read
order Gnosis Allah to read the signs of his
in His grace, to read his science in his creation.
So all I'm saying here is follow the same methodology.
The best way to recognize the magnificence and glory of Allah Jalla. Shantou is to look at his creation through the eyes of human.
Our problem is that we leave the therapy of children until it's too late.
When they are little, we are too anxious for them to hurry up and grow up.
And they do. Only when that happens, we don't recognize them.
We think that the only thing that we have to worry about when they're little is if they are fed and clothed and happy.
And to get them out of our hair, we get them addicted to the TV, or worse still, to gadgets,
to devices, to video games,
to iPads and iPhones and whatnot.
If instead of that, we had spent some time introducing them to Allah subhanaw taala to his messages or send them to the beautiful cop to the beautiful concept of the dean. If we had let them go out and play in the park,
if we let them feel the, the beautiful, the beautiful feel of good soil in their hands, get themselves dirty, get mud on their face get been in their clothes, the clothes can go into the washing machine, nothing happens no problem.
If you had let them
meet and talk to animals and birds, if you let them dig in the soil, if you let them get wet in the rain
if you let them play with each other, fight get hurt
and many more things than they would have turned into young men and men and women that we could be proud of.
This is the meaning of Islam.
This is the meaning of Islam
to connect with Allah subhanaw taala
this is the way in which the Muslim child
is different is raised differently and therefore he or she behaves differently, responds and reacts differently and therefore has a different destiny from anybody else.
is in your heads as the parents of children you are the script writers of the future.
You do a good job. Inshallah. Husar Allah subhanaw taala rewarding
but if you neglect
and if you are too engrossed and involved in yourself
and if you convince yourself that I'm doing all this and working so hard so that my family will be happy my brother and sister in law smarter I did not tell you
to feed your family and that's what I told you to raise your family
and those around you that is there learners I look at his car no no not at all.
And let's say I don't ask you for his uh, for myself. I don't ask you to feed me and I don't ask you to feed my creatures, I feed you and I feed them.
So, what is my job as a parent What is your job as a parent is to raise the children is their tarbiyah
is to is to ensure that I create the conditions for them to be pure internally. That's get enough's and try to Leclerc to have beautiful other
to be careful with their tags
to be concerned about Allah subhanaw taala this is what is needed
please understand and remember I always ask this question I said how many kids do you have people with there are two kids three kids as your boat
because kids are the young of boats.
Kids are not the young of human beings.
The young of human beings are called children. Now got kids in slime with a kid but I'm just I'm just using a word to make a point and that point is that if you are going to treat your child like a pet
which is make sure it has enough to eat make sure it has a clean bed to sleep and make sure it is you know it's
not cold or something.
Make sure it is happy. Give it some toys
or have a bone or whatever ball to play with. And your job is done.
This may be okay for a pet dog or a pet cat or a pet goat. It is not okay for a child because your child is not a pet
child is not a pet your child has to be raised has to be taught.
A child has to be molded.
And that is the reason why Allah subhanaw taala gave you that special position. Allah subhanaw taala said that, that Jana is in under the feet of the mother. And he said the father is one of the doors of Jana for the chat.
This is not because of biology, this is because of theology. This is because of religion. This is because of what Allah subhanaw taala gave you as a role as a parent.
To that, well, your child will be an asset for you in this world and next, and will be a blessing for all those who are around this child in society.
Do it badly. And the opposite is true.
We ask Allah subhanaw taala to be pleased with us and to enable us to raise children who will be assets for us in this world and the next one's gonna be Karim Allah Allah he will savage maybe I have to go