Mirza Yawar Baig – Living Islam – Khutbatul Wada’a #07
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The speakers discuss the rights of parents and how they should be respected and obeyed. They stress the importance of parents in shaping children to be good stewards of their bodies and minds, and stress the need for parents to fulfill their bodies and minds. They also discuss the importance of serving parents and not being disrespectful to them. The speakers emphasize the need to be mindful of what is said and not to give children too much respect.
AI: Summary ©
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got a handy little bit out of me.
Should I film Gable mousseline, Muhammad Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa seldom just leaving cathedral cathedra on my brother, my brothers and sisters
in our series of classes on the whole bottle were that the advice of Rasul Allah is Allah has given to his alma given to us during his Hajj
we are on the topic of parents, treatment of parents being with parents as well as children.
So let me say a few words about the rights of parents. It is the right of parents that they must be obeyed in all legitimate and legal things, and must be served with great love and kindness, even if they are not Muslim.
Parents must be obeyed, whether they are Muslim or not in all legitimate matters, and must be respected at all times.
Parents must be obeyed and served simply because they are parents, even if they are not pious, or kind and so on.
But if the order children to disobey Allah Subhana Allah and His Messenger SallAllahu sallam, then they must be disobeyed. They must not be obeyed, if they order the children to do something which Allah subhanaw taala has prohibited because there is no obedience to the slave in the disobedience of Allah. There is no there is no obedience to the creature in the disobedience of the Creator.
A lot of our data said about this, I was saying that in Santa Fe Wiley they he harmala TUMO wahana and either one. Well, if you saw Lo Fi I mean initially Wiley Wiley de ke li l mercy. And those were our data set, which means And We have enjoined on man on human beings to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship. And his weaning is in two years, give thanks to me and to your parents. And unto me is your final destination.
So if
so, if the for example, order you to remove your hijab or shave your beard or not go to the masjid and not pray and not read Quran and so on and so forth. Then you are not permitted to obey them. But in everything else, yes, we have.
We are supposed to with it. In the Quran, we're Bill Wiley. Dania. Sarah has been mentioned over a dozen times and therefore it is something which is very, very important. In Saudi Aramco another 100 done I mentioned this issue of obeying parents again and and he said what was said earlier in Santa vy today he has an we're in Jaha Dhaka Lee to Shrek be ma la Celica be here l
Fila to tear Houma.
La Jamar zero calm for owner bill can be mark on Tom Dharma loan, Allah subhanaw taala said and which means, And We have enjoined on man on human beings
to be good and dutiful to his parents. But if they strive to make you joined with me in worship anything as a partner of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, then do not obey them.
Unto to me is your return, I shall tell you what we used to do. So therefore, for example, we have cases where parents come from traditions, where they worship I graves, where they go and make dua on graves, where they go and make the off of the graves where they have believed that this person and that person and this Imam and that Imam, and this
you know what they call Willie of Allah and that value of Allah can do this and can help and can guide and can, you know, give grant favors and so on and so forth. All of which are false beliefs, all of which are open shirk, all of which are the disbelief, and all of which are idolatrous beliefs. Please understand this very clearly. There's no
doubt about this. But people choose to believe that we live that we live it to them. We
I don't force anybody we cannot force anybody anyway. So but we don't follow them we do not follow them even if their parents we disobey them which I'm sorry you can go if you want but you are what you are doing is wrong and what and we will not follow you in what is wrong but we will continue to help you and we will continue to serve you and be with you and be good to you. So that is very important.
There are many a hadith about the excellence of parents, some of which we have heard and about and may Allah give us Sophia to pay attention to them.
For example on those around that I said, under the mother's feet is Janna and the Father is the door to Jana.
In another place or not. The parents are both doors to Jana.
For example, in one beautiful Hadith Abuja, the Allah no reported he said that he heard Rasul Allah is Allah is what I'm saying. The father is the middle door of Jannah which means is the best way to get to Ghana. So it is up to you whether you take advantage of it or not. The father is the middle road of Jannah. It's up to you whether you want to take advantage of that or not. It is narrated by Abu Zaid Malik Bindra via. He said while we were with rasool Allah Azza wa sallam, a man from Bhanu Salama came to him, and he said, Yasser Allah Azza wa sallam, is there any way of honoring my parents that I can still do for them after the day and as soon as Allison said, Yes,
by offering the Serato janazah for them, for praying for forgiveness of for them, fulfilling their promises after death, honoring their friends, the friends of the parrot and upholding the ties of kinship, which you would not have word it not for them.
So, this is a another heavy is talking about the excellence of parents and the
the importance of auditing that it was narrated by RBI of India Hema muawiya Binjai Hema, a salami
town hall that Jehovah came to realize, that is his father and said O Messenger of Allah, I want to go out and fight in the head. And I have come to ask your advice, and I said, Do you have a mother? He said, Yes, that's all I said. Um, said then stay with her. For Jana is beneath her feet. abora Delano reported that Allah subhanaw taala message messenger SallAllahu sallam said, let him be humbled into the dust meaning he is
his reprimanding and cursing the person. He says, let him be humbled into the rest, let him be humbled into the dust. He said this twice.
So they asked him, you know who's that? He said He who sees either of his parents during their old age, or he sees both of them, but he does not enter paradise meaning that he found his parents the parents or their dependents are with him, but he did not serve them he didn't get their dot and therefore he
and loss monitor
did not give him Jana. If he was had this horrible job it was a lot of Delano
said that also an asylum went up the member he climbed up remember when he reached the first step he said I mean, in the second on the second step, he said I mean or the third step is an AMI. And when he stepped on to step three, all the three steps, he said I mean, I mean I mean three times.
They asked him they said Yasser Allah's, Allah is alone we heard you saying I mean three times. So he this is something new Rasul Allah said when I went up the first on the first step Gibreel alayhi salam came to me and said, a wretched is the slave wretched meaning the person is cursed the person is dissemble xumo them but
come back to her but Dr. Is this person has no future is destroyed his this wretched person, miserable person, right? This is a curse. So a surah Salam said Gibreel Islam came to me and said the wretched wretched is the slave to whom Ramadan comes and when it passes from him he is not forgiven.
See me and he said Salah is set up I said AMI, that means the person. Ramadan came, that person did not take advantage of Ramadan. He did not fast. He didn't pray. He didn't do what he was supposed to do. And therefore, that the month came and the month went and it did not benefit him in any way. So therefore also not so curious. I'm saying that
person is wretched. And may Allah cast him far away, and we shall sell himself to debase it. See, I mean, he's two of the messengers of Allah wa salam, ala Rasulillah. Salam, the Caesar mousseline said me. Then he said, debate Islam.
Wretched is the slave who has one or both of his parents alive. And they do not let him enter Jannah meaning that this person has not served the parents and the parents do not make dua for him because he's not served them. He's caused them pain, and therefore,
this person is wretched. And he's saying
Allah subhanaw taala is Gustin far away. So see, I mean, and I was also upset, I mean, and then on the third step, you really thought I was it.
Wretched is a slave who does not bless you when you are mentioned in his presence.
And may Allah cast him far away? And he said, say I mean, and there was a Salam said, I said, I mean, so this means
that when the name of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam has mentioned then it is incumbent upon us to say sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at least
we was setting the rules on him inshallah.
Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala Ali Muhammad Kumar Selita live Rahim Allah they will have a knock on wood and Majid Allahumma barik ala Muhammad wide it will have moved
all over him. I don't even know him. I know he didn't budget within the rules and Sullivan.
But at the basic minimum, we at least we say at least
Salalah Hollywood.
Now,
there is another Hadith,
which is very, these are all very powerful messages that we don't simply listen to and then forget about them. This is for us to obey. And for us to implement in our lives. There is a way buffer these were
one of the Sahaba Salah
he was dying. And they came through his asylum and they said Yasser allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, this person is dying, and he is in terrible pain in the state of Nevada in the state of, you know, secret. And so his life is kind of stuck in his throat and he's not able to, he's not dying with ease his heart, he has a lot of difficulty in dying. So please come and make dua for him. So the Bucha Salam went to his house, and he saw this RV in lying on his bed, he was in terrible pain.
So as soon as I asked him, he said, this is
his dad, his parents are live. They said he was alive father is in a war but the mother is alive. So they said, Where is the mother? She said that she doesn't live here with him. She lives in another place. As well as our cinemas. He said, How is his relationship with the mother this is not good.
He has not been good to the mother. So the mother is it was so as old as said go and request a mother to forgive her son Taylor, no son is dying and Please forgive him. Because it is because of what he did with her. That his that he is now in this pain in the suffering. So somebody went at the, you know, told the mother
and the mother said don't come to me I have nothing to do with him. He has caused me a lot of pain. He has caused me a lot of suffering and you know, he's been bad to me and I will not forgive. So boy. So they came back to his car Salah she refuses to forgive him. She says that he caused her a lot of pain. So she is not going to avoid
Rasul Allah is Allah is Allah said then collect firewood bring firewood, so that I can burn him to the CDRs Allah this man is alive, you're going to burn him alive. He says Allah said yes. He said, I will burn him. Because if I don't burn him, then he's robbed geladeira who will burn him when he dies? When he goes to Las Mahathir because he died in a state where his mother was displeased with him. He had troubled her Yes, yes. This is not just a matter of disbelief because of some ego issue is mumbled back to her. So I'm going to
so then they're add to the mother again and they said to her, they said, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is going to burn your son alive. Because he says that if he does not if you don't forgive him, Allah with Bani, Indiana, and Surah Surah salaam says that I will burn him here and inshallah maybe this is enough and Allah will not burn him. Of course the mother is the mother or heart melted and she's another and in that case, she said, I don't want my son to be born and she
Given she said he also live forever, I forgive him, whatever he did I forgive that and this RV, then his row left his body. Now the important thing to understand here is the position of that mother position of that son position of the parents. And be very, very clear in our minds that we do not do anything to
her harm the parents to be disobedient to them to be disrespectful to them,
and so on.
To serve parents is not an SR on them, it is their right, because they did whatever
they needed to do to raise us.
And believe me a lot of that if we just look at children, small children and parents with them, you can see that the amount of dedication, the amount of care and concern that goes into raising a little child, it's only parents who can do that. For anyone else, it's so difficult to do it
Illa Mashallah. So, therefore, it is our duty they brought brought us up and they sacrificed everything for us. That is why Zakat is also not payable to parents it is the right of the parents, too.
That you that you should serve them another Hadith, a man came to a supervisor Salama, he said yes or Allah why salaam I took my mother for hygiene, I carried her on my back, have I fulfilled her right on me. And he SallAllahu sallam said, You have not even paid her back for one contraction pain she suffered when she gave birth to you. So the ASR of the parents is not something that you fulfill, or you can fulfill and then you say, Okay, I'm done. Right now you can go home, no, this is a lifelong thing. Your parents
literally sacrificed their life and time for you. And therefore there's something that you do out of love, it's not a question of sacrifice and you feel loss is something that you do out of love.
Another Hadith where a man came to Salem and he said yeah, Rasul Allah, so, I Salah my father takes my money from my pocket,
in you know, wherever he kept it, on the stove, or or wherever, and he spends it and he does not even tell me. So, when I go to the park, to the market, and I put my hand in my pocket, I am embarrassed because money I thought money was there money is not there.
Please tell him not to do that. Now Ross was a wrestler called his father, when the father was coming
on the way he recited some lines of poetry.
Which,
you know, in the, the the meaning that I have been,
nowadays, the son and I did everything for him and I have now reduced to a state where he complains about me to Rasulullah Salallahu Salam, Allah subhanaw taala caused the soil as a lesson and to know this Devialet Salam came and said, Yes, Allah, this man is coming. And this is what he's saying. So when the man came into the presence of rasa Salam, the father was there and the complainer the son was there. And also Allah is Allah Salam said,
your father has the right to take you into the market and sell you as a slave if he wishes. All that you have, including your body is his property to dispose of as he wishes. So don't complain that he takes your money.
That is the right of the Father on the son.
So getting offended because my father said this, my father said that there is no offense getting offended with the parents, no matter what they do,
irrespective of what the
right there is, you have no right to be offended. You have no right to Ill treat them you have no right to dishonor them. And this is without exception. Now, in this particular case, the Hadees, which I mentioned as soon as an SNL in private, he advised the father not to take the money without telling the son, but He did not tell him that it was not permissible for him.
To do that, right, he didn't says Hara. He says don't do it without telling him because you know, he goes into the market and he thinks he has money does it somebody. So
this is something for us to very, very clearly for us to remember and
to, to honor. And again, I repeat myself. Despite all this if parents tell you to disobey Allah, then you must not aware that there should not be any reason to say this, but sadly, there are parents who are not a blessing for the children instead of teaching them to obey Allah subhanho wa Taala and to practice the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam to live by the Sunnah of Nabi SallAllahu sallam. These parents they
They
teach the children to disobey Allah to the extent they teach them to drink alcohol, they teach them gambling, they take them and make them members of clubs, where alcohol and gambling happens. These are clubs which have bars in them, which have gambling rooms in them.
And these parents take those children there, and they make the members of these clubs. And these are Muslim parents. I mean, you know, the amazing thing. These are parents who are, who pray, and whoever the mothers have a job and so on, but they have no shame, they will go and introduce the children, make them members of this and that Race Club and make them members of this, that social club.
And you know, and in some cases, we're still actually buy them.
Alcohol, like the first cigarette for them. Right? In that Illa. He was in LA Raju. And then of course, later on in their lives when they are all in the parents and the children now treat them like dirt. They are very surprised that how the children are disobedient and they don't respect them. Because this disrespect you taught you taught, you taught your son or your daughter to disobey Allah.
And then you are surprised that the son or daughter disobeys you,
who is more, who's more worthy of obedience.
You know, it is wrong, as far as I understand him said do not even be in the same room where alcohol itself and you make your son, a member of a club in which there is a bar in which there is a gambling room in which there is which is affiliated to Race Club or whatnot. Right.
And you know very well that that club is being maintained by your subscription.
How else were what is the revenue for the club revenue subscription. And of course, revenue is the you know, the sales of alcohol and liquor and whatnot water.
Please understand this.
Now, I don't want the children to feel that they can disrespect parents, even in this case, they cannot they should still obey them, but obedience to parents.
In this case, if the child has shown if the child is intelligent to the child is a good Muslim, then the child should refuse to accept membership of such a club. Right? And this will be
a lesson for the parents, that the children are more obedient to Allah subhanaw taala than they are themselves and May Allah save us from that disgrace that your child is teaching your lesson. How shameful is that? But that's the that's the problem. Right.
So the,
I don't know, beautiful Hadees with regard to this is the story of Omar Habiba. Delana where I was young came in those days, he was not a Muslim. So he came to me there was also love in Medina. And I'm happy where he is my his daughter who was married to so as a seller, she folded back the bedding of receivers.
So that absolutely and did not sit on it. So I was,
you know, partly, maybe humorously partly sarcastically said, also your vote, you won't decide so because it's not fit for me, is it? She said I moved aside because you are not fit for that.
That is the bedding of the Rasulillah etcetera. So later on, she mentioned this resource herself. She said my father came, and this is what I did. I think about this, I was a VR was the number one enemy of our souls. We're not just talking about someone who disliked us. This is somebody who, whose life goal is aim was to kill Muhammad sallallahu alayhi. Salam is like golden aim was to destroy Islam and to destroy the nabi alayhi, salaam, Allah subhanaw taala protected as well as SLR, but I suppose if you had led three wars,
right? He was the cause for bother and he was the commander of the of the army of
the operation or not, and in the visible to conduct *, Eliza. Yet, when he came to meet Mr. Sara, when his daughter did this, because of her loyalty to Santa Rosa Sonoma, everyone did and he said, This is not good. You should not treat your father like that. You should treat him with respect. Imagine what kind of a heart he had. I mean, if it was anyone else you would have been I would have been delighted. It's a very good, this is what your father deserves. And I'm very happy. You're such a loyal wife. It's a no. Your father is your father. Whatever he does, even if he's my aim is still valid, and therefore you must treat him with respect. So please understand this. If
your parents tell you to remove your hijab, if they tell you to shave your beard if they tell you not to participate in it.
Not to go to the masjid
or not to pray if they want to make you a member of this or that club which has. If the club is halal if there is no gambling in it if there is no bar in it, then then there's no problem you can become a member of a club, like sports clubs or you're exercising and whatnot.
And things like that. But if it's a club in which there is gambling, race clubs and so on, if there is a club in which there is like social clubs in which there is a bar where there is where there is gambling, there are card rooms and so on.
Where you have you know, New Year's Eve parties and this party and that party where there is dancing and music and and men and women mixing together and all of this stuff, then this is haram to be a member of that club. If your father or mother is forcing you to be a member of that club, they are committing haram, they will answer to Allah's monetary they will be punished for it. unless ALLAH forgives them. Do not follow them do not obey tell them sorry, I'm not interested.
I am not interested in this membership. You have you cannot nobody can make a baby a member of the club. If you are becoming a member of the club, it means you are an adult.
If you are an adult behave like an adult because you are answerable to Allah subhanaw taala and speaking to the children here, you are accountable to Allah subhanaw taala you
so don't behave like a baby you don't say oh my father No, not your father. If you become a member of that club, believe me it is your neck in the news bit Allah subhanaw taala. So, no obedience to haram orders all of the which I mentioned do haram orders, if they they order you to participate in ostentatious weddings, where there is music and dancing and whatnot, it is haram disobey them do not do that, if they tell you to go to this target, that target is maqam that Mecca you know, this
brave that grave, and they are going and this auto said that all of a sudden, they are making the off of the grave and they are sitting there and singing and Cavalli all night all all forms of shade, IKEA color, all of this stuff, no, they it will be something which you are not permitted to do. And
therefore do not, you know, do not indulge that.
Be very, very clear about this and make no
there's no exception to this right? Please be very, very clear that you do not disobey Allah subhanaw taala in any way. I remember I remind myself I knew my brothers and sisters,
also, now a little bit of advice also to
the parents, please understand that just because of all this advice, which Rasulillah Salam gave and which I mentioned to you.
With respect to
the parents, it does not mean that parents have, you know, carte blanche
on whatever they want to do with the children. Parents should not feel that they can
abused children or to be disrespectful to children or treat them with without honoring them. As soon as I'm sad, especially when the children grow older, they are more now that they are adults, they are becoming adults, the young adults are they are almost adults, treat them as adults don't treat them
as little children, treat them with respect take their advice, make much more with them, sit with them, you know collectively together
be with them as a
as a friend, but then the the the boundary of friendship man must not end up into actual friendship as in the child is thumping you on the back or you know some of the kinds of nonsense that I that I see around that is not visible. The other of the of the Father is always the other was a father that must always be maintained. But in addition to that, and let the father treat the child with respect and lead the child in a way where the child is no longer a child, give them responsibility, give them give them authority, seek their guidance, seek their advice, in many cases, they know a lot more than we know because of this the of the you know the new kind of world that they live in they
are they grew up in that so their knowledge is superior to our so let us make let us benefit from that. You know, don't lose out on that. Right? The children the children are not little children they are they are adults. But at the same time this does not mean that the child treats you without respect. So both are important
and very, very important to understand this thing. Children listen with their eyes. You want children to be respectful
to you as a parent, you need to be respectful to your parents. That's another thing which we see. We see older grandparents being disrespected by the parents of the child to the child, parent, the parents want the children to respect them won't happen, will not happen. You must respect your parents. When your children see you doing that. They are encouraged to do the same to you.
This is how it spreads. If you want children to be truthful, be truthful yourself if you want children to be pious, be pious yourself if you want children to follow Allah subhanaw taala orders and the Sunnah of Rasulullah sunnah Salah and do it yourself. Children listen with their eyes, they don't care what you say until they see what you do. So demonstrate, be the learning Be the change that you want to see. That is very, very important. And if you are not obeying Allah, and if you are, if you are not following us on officers, so be prepared for problems in your old age in this world, which will leave you humiliated which will leave you in such terrible suffering of your soul
that you will not that you cannot imagine. I've seen people like that. I've seen people like that, who came from great authority and great knowledge and great honor. And they were reduced to being literally serving becoming servants or worse of their own children because of how they brought up those children
because of how they raise the children. And then with Allah subhanaw taala is another story. I do not wish that on you as parents. And as children, don't put yourself into that situation where you will treat your parents and then the door of Jannah opens for you. Please be very clear. This is a very dangerous area because it is something which is so powerful. The DUA of the mother or the father, for their child is never discarded when was one that I lost my dad accepts the most accepted doors or to the dua of the oppressed against the oppressor and the dua of the parent for or against their child to make sure that the that your parents dua is always for you and never against was
gonna be with anyone it was I remember having to go