Mirza Yawar Baig – Life advice to students
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In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious,
the Most Merciful.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of
the worlds.
And peace and blessings be upon the most
honoured of Prophets and messengers.
Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, peace and
blessings be upon him and his family.
Peace and blessings be upon you.
The topic which I am going to speak
on today, inshallah, is things that are important
for somebody who is at university.
So, you know, suppose advice to people going
off to university.
So, inshallah, it will be useful for you
now.
I have listed ten things which are important.
And they are not necessarily in sort of
increasing or decreasing order.
They all are important.
But the first one is very important.
That's why I want to put that as
the first one.
And that one is, I say factor Allah
into the equation because he is in it
anyway.
Now, what is the equation?
The equation is any decision you make.
Whatever the decision, whether it's a decision about
making a friend, being friends with somebody, decision
about courses to study, decisions about what to
eat, how to behave, especially how to behave
in difficult situations, meaning if somebody is rude
to you or you're angry with somebody, how
do you behave?
Where to go, where not to go, what
to see, what not to see, and so
on and so on.
All the different kinds of situations that you
might find yourself in, factor Allah into the
equation.
Meaning, ask yourself just one question, which is,
whatever the situation might be, what will please
Allah?
In the way I behave, what will be
pleasing to Allah?
Do that.
Now, you will have one of three situations.
One is, I know what will please Allah,
I do it.
Two, I know what does not please Allah,
so I will not do it.
The third one is tricky, which is, I'm
not sure, will this please Allah or will
it not please Allah?
In that case, like we said the last
time, don't do it until you are clear.
Find out, get clear, then do it.
Right?
Don't do something which you know does not
please Allah.
Now, this is not only for university students,
this is a good principle in life.
Whatever your stage in life, whether you're doing
business or you're working or you're employing people,
you are an employee or you're a parent,
you're a child, whatever situation, always factor Allah
into the equation because Allah is in it
anyway.
The pleasure of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
matters.
It's not something hypothetical, it's not something nice
to have.
If I have it, that's good, if I
don't have it, it's okay, it's not okay.
It is critical, it is very important.
And because our basic fundamental belief is what?
That one day we will meet Allah.
This is our fundamental belief, one day I
will meet Allah.
And I want that day to be the
best day of my life.
I don't want to meet Allah and then
be embarrassed.
I don't want to meet Allah and then
be ashamed.
I don't want to meet Allah and then
say, oh my God, I should not have
done that at all.
That's not nice.
So, correct ourselves right in the beginning and
the best way to correct ourselves is don't
do the wrong thing in the first place.
Factor Allah into the equation.
Number two, always be thankful.
Always be thankful.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala began His Kalam
with Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
Allah said all praise and all thanks is
to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Rabbil Alameen.
The Creator, Sustainer, Maintainer, Protector of the universe.
So, we begin our life with thanking Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, the Nabi
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, the one who has
not thanked the people has not thanked Allah.
Right?
Malam yashkurin naas lam yashkurillah.
He said, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, the one who
does not thank people has not thanked Allah.
So, it's very important that we thank people
all the time, whoever.
For example, we have this space, beautiful space.
We have the permission to sit here.
We have the permission to pray here.
And somebody takes care of the space, somebody
cleans it and so on and so forth.
We are not vacuuming the place, we don't
know somebody is doing it.
So, thank those people.
Go find the person and thank them.
Who does the cleaning here?
Find that person.
Thank them.
Remember, these are things where it will be
a life-changing thing for those people.
That is a memory that person will carry
throughout their lives.
When we first moved here to West Springfield,
2019, or 2020, Christmas Day, and not because
we were celebrating Christmas, because that's what people
celebrate.
So, Christmas Day, my wife and I, we
decided that we want to say thanks to
the people who collect the garbage, the garbage
truck people, and the post person.
There's a post person, it was a lady's
post woman.
So, what we did was, my wife bought
some very nice chocolates from Costco.
And it happened to be, obviously, it was
winter, so it was snow and ice.
But, and I don't, you know when the
garbage truck comes, but it doesn't come, it
doesn't stay there.
So, you have to be ready beforehand and
then you have to run out.
So, I did all that, and I gave
the bag of chocolates to the garbage truck
driver, and I gave it to the postman.
You don't know what an effect, the look
on the man's face, he said, this is
for me?
I said, yeah, it's for you.
He said, why?
I said, because thank you for all the
work you're doing.
You know, you collect the garbage every week,
and we are grateful to you for that.
And he said, well, I do it for
everybody.
I said, sure.
Now, what's he saying?
He said, I do it for everyone, but
not everyone gives me chocolates.
That is why it's important.
That's why it makes a huge impact.
If everyone gave him chocolates, okay, one more
bag of chocolates.
No.
Nobody gives them, nobody bothers.
It happens.
But if garbage does not get collected, believe
me, we'll all see the difference, right?
You have dumps of garbage lying somewhere, no.
So, find the person who does something, right?
So, the thing for you guys is find
out who is doing the cleaning here.
Write them a little thank you card or
buy them some chocolate or something from us,
from the MSA people, and give it to
them.
Thank you very much for giving us this
clean space.
Believe me, I tell you, that will be
a life-changing experience for that person.
For us, it means nothing.
I mean, you know, we can all contribute
to the chocolates.
How much does it cost?
It won't even cost, for each of us,
it won't even cost a dollar, it's maybe,
right?
But for that person, it's a memory they
will take to their graves.
And who did that?
Muslims did that.
I was studying last summer, I was in
Barrington College, two-month immersion course in the
Arabic language.
And the lady who used to clean the
place, it was a reverse thing.
I found a table there in the corridor
with...
Every day there would be cookies or muffins
or something, two or three boxes of them,
freshly baked, kept there, and there's a sign
there saying, please take, it's free.
So I said, please take it, it's free,
who's doing it?
Guess who's doing it?
The lady who cleans the place.
Can you imagine?
So I said, why are you doing that?
She said, for you guys.
I said, wow, that's fantastic, imagine.
She said, you are coming here to study
and so on, so this is, you know,
my...
She doesn't have to do it, why does
she have to do it?
But it's a memory that you take, you
know, literally to your grave.
So always be thankful.
Now imagine, I'm telling you to be thankful
to the person who cleans this place.
How about being thankful to your parents?
How about being thankful to your brothers and
sisters?
I'm not saying you're not thankful enough, I'm
saying expressing the thanks, say thanks to them.
Many times people say, oh, no, but you
know, why should I tell my dad, thank
you, why should I tell him, she knows,
no, no, it's not a question of she
knows.
Allah doesn't know.
Allah said, لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَعَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ
عَذَابِي لَشَدِيرٍ Allah said, the one who thanks
me, I will increase the blessings.
I will increase my blessings on him.
And the one who's ungrateful, let him be
aware of my punishment.
So if somebody says, why should I say
it?
Doesn't Allah know?
So why is Allah saying this?
It's about us.
It's not about the other person, right?
So thank your parents, especially you guys.
I mean, if I ask you, who pays
for the gas in your car?
Who pay for the car?
You know what I'm saying, right?
So Alhamdulillah, it's good.
You got your mom or somebody who's paying,
but go and say thank them for the
thing.
It's very, very important.
So we said very clearly, مَلَّمْ يَشْكُرِنَّاسَ لَمْ
يَشْكُرِنَا The one who did not thank the
people has not thanked Allah.
So the third one, forgive people.
Don't carry grudges.
Forgive people.
She said that, he said that.
Let them say, don't collect garbage.
You know, the example I always give of
this forgiveness thing, I say, supposing you are
riding a motorcycle, right?
You got a nice Harley, you're riding it.
And it so happens on the highway, you
find yourself behind a garbage truck.
So this garbage truck is ahead of you.
You're trying to get around it, but you
can't.
Suddenly, a piece of garbage flies off the
truck and hits you on your jacket.
So there's this horrible, wet, and very stinky
piece of garbage on your jacket.
What will you do?
You will pull into the first place you
can pull into and wash it off, right?
Now, how about instead of that, you rub
it in nicely, and then every once in
a while, you smell it.
You see, you're mad, you're crazy.
I mean, why are you carrying this garbage
with you?
Why are you smelling it again and again?
The garbage truck driver, thanks to whom?
First of all, he doesn't even know the
garbage flew off the truck and hit you,
number one.
Number two, he's gone.
That guy's gone, right?
You are causing pain to yourself.
Why?
Are you nuts?
Are you crazy?
But think about it.
This is what we do.
This is what we do in life.
Somebody says something, the person who says it,
there are people who are garbage trucks, right?
It's their job.
They are the garbage truck.
They just create garbage.
There are people like this in life.
What to do?
This is how they are.
But you don't have to buy into that
stuff, right?
If somebody is talking nonsense or saying something
or doing something, don't buy into that.
Forgive them.
You said something.
Learn the lesson.
And the lesson is, don't ride behind garbage
trucks.
Get out of the way.
So that's a good lesson to learn.
Don't lose the lesson.
But don't carry the memory.
Don't carry the thing and say, oh, no,
no, no, this person, forgive.
Third, fourth, fourth one is seek forgiveness.
Now, ideally, don't put yourself in a situation
where you will have to say sorry, right?
And that's why it's very important to think
about it before.
Think of, I said, now I want to
say this.
It'll feel nice.
But then I will have to end up
saying sorry.
That won't feel nice.
So better don't say it in the first
place, right?
Because if I say something bad now, I
have to say sorry.
So why put myself in that situation?
But we all make mistakes.
We are all humans.
Sometimes we say something.
Always immediately apologize.
The longer you wait, the more difficult it
will become.
That's the other problem with apologies.
The longer you wait to apologize, the more
difficult it will become.
So do it as quickly as possible.
Apologize and get it out of your system.
And when you apologize, do it properly.
Don't make the apology look like another insult,
right?
So do it nicely and get it out
of it.
Number five, I say to myself and you,
never compromise your legacy.
You know, never forget your purpose.
We are here for a purpose.
So what's the purpose of you being in
the university?
Is it to make friends?
Is it to have fun?
Is it to, all of this is good,
right?
Alhamdulillah, we should have fun.
We should make friends.
That's not the reason.
What's the reason?
To study, to get your degree in whichever
field you are studying and ensure that you
get a good degree with good marks, not
some, you know, last person out of the
class and all.
Do a good job.
That is the reason why you are there.
Don't lose that.
That's your legacy.
Make sure that you are top of the
class to the best of your ability, alhamdulillah.
You can only do that.
But make sure you do what you are
here to do.
Don't lose sight of that.
Nothing must come in the way of that.
Follow Anas Mahatara's laws.
Don't compromise those.
But other than that, people get involved.
Oh, I was in this club.
I was in that club.
I had this social activity, that social activity.
My friends, this, that.
All of which is fine.
But if that is happening at the expense
of your studies, very bad idea.
So do not compromise your legacy.
Number six, choose your friends.
Now, remember this.
Everybody has friends, everyone.
The worst, the drug addict who is lying
in his own vomit in a drain had
friends.
That's how he got there, right?
Somebody who is sitting in jail with a
murder sentence had friends.
That's how he got there.
Somebody who is a decent human being who
is helping people and so on, they also
have friends.
Everybody has friends.
There's nobody in the world that does that.
They all have friends.
The question is, what kind of friends?
So choose your friends.
And Rasulallah gave us a very good standard.
He said, a friend is somebody who reminds
you of Allah.
A friend is somebody in whose company you
remember the Akhirah.
And the third thing is, he said, a
friend is somebody who teaches you something, from
whom you learn something.
So a teacher doesn't necessarily mean a class.
Meaning in their behavior, from what they say
and so on.
And so you learn something beneficial.
So three things, somebody who reminds you of
Allah, somebody who reminds you of the Akhirah,
and somebody from whom you learn something beneficial.
So judge your friend on that basis.
So now, can you have non-Muslim friends?
Sure, you can.
I always say, how does a non-Muslim
friend remind me of Allah?
Because this person is such a good human
being, you're remembering Allah, you're making dua and
saying, Allah, bless them with Islam.
Bless them with Islam, right?
So you can have non-Muslim friends, no
problem with that.
Especially if you want to present Islam, how
will you present it without being friends?
Friendship has to come before.
In sales, we say you can only sell
to friends.
You can't sell to an enemy.
The guy doesn't want to see your face.
How will you sell him anything?
So make friends, but make sure that he
is the right kind of friend.
Somebody from whom you learn, doesn't matter what
it is, some good thing you are learning.
That's very important.
So make sure you have friends like this.
Number seven, the way I like to put
it, I say no one walks alone.
Meaning that when you are walking, you are
walking with, you are a reflection of your
family, you are a reflection of your community,
you are a reflection of your religion.
You are a reflection of your whole heritage.
You're not alone.
So whatever you are doing, you are bringing
a good name or a bad name to
all those people.
If you do something good, you say, Alhamdulillah,
nice, but if you do something bad, people
will say, oh, so?
If it's good, Alhamdulillah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, Alhamdulillah, which one?
Older one, younger one.
So the point is, but if it's the
opposite, if it's something wrong, so always remember
this.
And most of all, much more important than
Zahormiyah and Mahmud Yusuf and everybody else is
who?
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
People are going to say, oh, this is
a Muslim.
Oh, these are the people who follow Muhammad
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
This is how they do.
They park their car across somebody's driveway.
They're Muslims, they're going to pray.
So now there's going to be chaos.
There'll be cars everywhere.
Watch for your lawn, because then some Muslim
will park his car on your lawn.
Then he will say, oh, I was praying.
No.
Always, always look.
Whatever you do, whether you like it or
not, you are a reflection of all these
things.
And most of all, you are a reflection
of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
So never do anything which compromises the name
of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
Always do something where people will say, Subhanallah,
these are Muslims, such beautiful people.
So trustworthy, so good people.
We love Muslims because they are so nice,
so good, so helpful.
Not the opposite.
So very, very important.
Number eight, remember that popularity does not matter.
But this might seem like a funny thing
to say, because today we live in a
world where we are told this is pumped
into us.
How many followers on Facebook?
How many likes on Instagram?
The whole thing is to be more and
more and more popular.
And you have a lot of examples of
people who do all kinds of completely insane
things because they want to become popular.
Popularity doesn't matter.
I'll give you two examples.
One of the greatest breakthroughs in surgery is
what's called bypass surgery.
When your arteries get blocked in the heart,
you bypass the artery, right?
So may Allah give all of you a
healthy and long life without need for bypass
surgery.
But if any time you have to have
a bypass operation done, do you know who
invented that?
Do you know the other person?
So according to standards, not a popular person.
Nobody knows the name.
His name was Reni Favaloro.
Reni Favaloro.
And he invented bypass surgery in 1967.
Now, Michael Jackson, anybody here who does not
know the name Michael Jackson?
So in terms of popularity, if you take
a popularity context between Dr. Reni Favaloro and
Michael Jackson, who will win?
Yeah?
But whose work is more valuable to humanity?
That is the meaning of focus on what
you can contribute to the world.
Don't worry about popularity.
It doesn't matter if nobody knows you.
But if you are doing something which is
valuable, that is your legacy.
And even if the person doesn't know your
name, it doesn't matter, they're benefiting from what
you created.
They don't know the name, but Allah knows
the name.
Yes?
Allah knows.
So who is giving the credit eventually?
Allah swt.
So you will get the credit, you will
get the reward for that, and you can
feel good about yourself, alhamdulillah, and make it
something which saves lives.
Instead of dancing on the stage or something,
okay, so people are happy for a while,
but beyond that, what?
So I'm saying especially because today, this is
our world.
The tragic thing is even in the case
of Islamic teaching and learning, when you talk
about this Shaykh and that Shaykh, people say,
you know, he has so many followers on
Facebook.
The main thing is if you read about
our Salaf, if you read about our great
scholars, people talk about the teachers of the
scholar, not about the followers of the scholar.
You see, Ibn Malik, who were the teachers
of Ibn Malik?
You see, the teachers of Ibn Malik was
Az-Zuhri, it was Rabia Turai, and so
on.
These are the teachers of Ibn Malik.
Who were the teachers of Ibn Shafi?
Ibn Malik bin Anas was the teacher of
Ibn Shafi, alhamdulillah.
Nobody said, who are the followers?
Followers get, it's a matter of value.
Followers add value to themselves by the names
of the teachers, it's not the other way
around.
The Sahaba, the companions of who?
Of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
The Sahaba became Sahaba because they were the
companions of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
Everybody has companions, they're not famous, but the
companions of Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam are famous
because they're his companions.
So, don't worry about popularity, popularity does not
matter.
Number nine, are you interested in development?
Yes or no?
Yeah?
Then seek feedback.
Not just accept feedback, seek feedback.
Ask people to tell you, please tell me
something about myself.
Take serious note of that.
Don't argue with the person.
You say, oh, no, no, no, you didn't
do it, you didn't do it.
This is how you came across to that
person at that time, even if it was
wrong, wrong meaning even if you don't like
how they saw it, that's how they saw
it.
So, if I don't want to be perceived
in a certain way, what's the point in
arguing with somebody about that?
Right?
What must I do?
Change whatever I was doing.
So, I said or did something, it came
across in a way to Omar, for example,
which and when I ask Omar, Omar says,
Ashok, this is what I did, okay.
So, I can argue with him, makes no
sense.
Instead of that, I said, now, next transaction,
how must I behave where this negative impression
is not there?
Focus on yourself, seek feedback, because feedback is
our mirror.
If I want to know how I look,
I have to look in a mirror, something
which reflects back to me.
And that is what feedback is.
And Abhishek Sahab said, there's a Hadith, Rasulullah
Sahab said, each Muslim is a mirror to
his brother or sister, reflects back to them
how they come across.
And last but not the least, be kind,
be kind, especially to those who have no
power to benefit you, especially those.
Sometimes people ask me, how do I, especially
people who want to get married and so
on, they tell me, how do I know
my spouse or the person I want to
marry, is that person going to be a
good person or how?
Because obviously, to you, they'll be nice, because
if the guy wants to marry you, he'll
be nice to you.
So, I said, now, forget about you, see
how they behave with people who don't matter,
in the sense of they can't do anything
beneficial or not to them.
See if they put a shopping cart back
in its place.
Because there's no cost attached to not putting
it back in the place, you can leave
it there.
There's no fine, you won't get a ticket.
But if you have somebody who's putting it
back in their place, you know, okay, here's
a responsible person.
Here's a person who believes in taking care
of the environment.
See what they do with the garbage.
Do they throw it or do they put
it in their pocket and put it in
the right place?
See how they treat waiters.
Do they thank them, do they tip them?
Are they polite to them?
See how they, when they're going through a
door, if somebody's coming, see how, do they
open the door, not open the door?
Especially in our countries.
Here, people do it because it's the custom.
But in our countries, how do you treat
servants?
Here, you don't have servants.
But in our countries, it was servants of
servants.
How do you treat servants?
How do you speak to servants?
Especially in our languages, we have different differences
of respect.
No, in the way we address, in English,
there's only one, you.
But almost every other language, you take Urdu,
you take Hindi, you take, you know, Arabic,
you take almost any language, there's levels of
respect.
How do they address?
That will tell you whether this is a
person you want to marry or unmarry.
Because the same attitudes will come into your
life when you get married.
Because when they are trying to be nice
to you, they've been nice to you.
But once you get married, you know, honeymoon
period over, that's when the real person comes
out.
And you don't want to suddenly discover that,
oh, who's this?
I said, no, this is not the one
I married.
Where did he come from?
Where did she come from?
So, check that.
Are people kind?
Kindness is very important.
The Prophet said kindness adds value to every
transaction.
Being kind, because Allah SWT is alive.
He's Rahman.
He says kindness adds value to every transaction.
So, be kind.
Right?
So, inshallah, I'll send you a recording, I'll
send you a text and so on of
this, inshallah.
I hope that is beneficial.
And you ask Allah SWT to help us
to be the way He likes and the
way which is beneficial for us, inshallah.
Wasalamu'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.