Mirza Yawar Baig – Company of respect worthy adults

AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of teaching children to respect and teach themselves to be around people who are both the same as them. They stress the need to ensure children are exposed to the right environment and that parents should not take their statement as a norm. The speakers also emphasize the importance of providing help and support to children in funding projects and creating schools for their interests.
AI: Summary ©
In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent,
the most Merciful.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of
the worlds.
And peace and blessings be upon the messengers
and prophets, Muhammad and the Messenger of Allah,
peace and blessings be upon him, and upon
his family and companions.
Peace and blessings be upon you all.
Brothers and sisters, I am here in Florida,
standing by this lake, this pond near the
golf course, what we call a water hazard.
And these are the American Ibises, the American
Ibis.
You see the long curved beak, see how
they dig in the grass to eat.
There is a, you can see one, they're
all white, and one colored one, that is
a juvenile, it's a young one.
And they're feeding by the pond.
Very pretty scenery, alhamdulillah.
On the pond, there are also ducks.
Let's see if they come close.
So, they are, they look like Morgansers of
some kind, not sure what.
The reminder for myself and you, is we're
talking about things that, we keep saying teach
children, but I think it has to do
much more with teaching ourselves.
Because children are little monkeys, they imitate adults,
they imitate their parents, they imitate other adults
who they respect.
They learn by taking their values from adults
they respect.
I think of myself, I think of my
own childhood, that's exactly what I did.
And that's exactly what any child does, they
take their values from the adults in their
lives.
And that is the reason why it's also
very important to ensure that your children don't
lose out from the company of respectable and
respect-worthy adults in their lives.
Make sure they are around good people, because
that's how they learn.
And depending on the kind of people they
are with, is what they will learn.
And so if they are around adults who
take pride in the disobedience of Allah, who
take their children to clubs and to partying,
who teach their children, give them their first
drink.
SubhanAllah, may Allah have mercy on us.
These are statements I've heard from Muslims.
My father gave me my first drink, my
father took me to the racecourse the first
time.
My father got me membership in this gambling
den, in this club, which of course obviously
the club is created for clubbing.
So it's created for the enjoyment of everything
that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has disapproved
of, everything which Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
has prohibited.
May Allah have mercy.
So this is the danger.
This is also how animals and birds learn
from the company of elders.
Here we have some more Ibises and another
youngster here, another juvenile one, which is flying
off.
I don't know why he is so skittish,
but he is.
The others are fine.
Nobody bothers them here.
The ducks people even feed, but these Ibises,
they are not fed, they don't need to
be fed.
If you notice the little black feather at
the end of the tail, this is all
the khudrat of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
The attention to detail is incredible.
Let me make this bigger so you can
see them closer.
Among the things to do with children is
to keep them around respectable, respect-worthy adults.
That's the first thing.
The second thing is to ensure that they
are exposed to the right environment.
That environment for most of us is the
environment of the masjid.
So make sure that your children go to
the masjid.
Now, there is a tendency to say, children
will say, Oh, you know, there's nothing attractive
there and I'm not attracted to the masjid.
If your child makes that statement, consider that
to be a statement which is where the
child is admitting to having a major psychological,
a major spiritual illness.
Don't take that as a norm.
The biggest problem is that parents take that
as the norm and then they want the
imam of the masjid or whoever is in
authority in the masjid to say, well, do
something to keep my child interested.
Do something to keep my child engaged.
I am reminded of a true story of
Sir Syed Ahmad Khan Ghanatul Ali, the founder
of Aligarh Muslim University, when he was trying
to fundraise for the university and he was
facing the usual difficulties that Muslims face when
they want to fundraise for long-term projects,
especially to do with education.
May Allah have mercy on us.
We are good at funding emergencies.
You know, something goes wrong and you ask
Muslims for money, for help.
Alhamdulillah, may Allah bless those who give it.
People are happy to give help.
We are good at fundraising for masjids, to
build a masjid.
But if you say, well, fundraise for a
project which will, in the long term, ensure
that the emergency that happened, the blood and
gore that happened, the orphans and widows who
were created, who you are now trying to
support, this will not happen.
Where the problem will be dealt with, the
problem will be solved, there will be no
oppression, there will be no wars, there will
be no negative effect of predatory capitalism, where
Islamic values will be spread to the extent
where we will have peace and harmony and
good relations with different people, different communities.
Long-term project, but eminently doable.
Put your hands in your pockets and donate.
People don't want to do that.
Very, very short-sighted, may Allah have mercy
on us.
We are suffering from that, we are suffering
terribly from being so short-sighted, but, I
don't know, the penny doesn't seem to drop.
Anyway, that's beside the point.
The point I'm saying is, therefore, make sure
that your children have good company and take
them to that company.
I have said this many times before, may
Allah grant my father Janatul Firdaus, without his
help, he used to take us, he used
to take me and my brother to every
religious gathering you can imagine.
He would take us to meet shuyukh, he
would take us to meet just wise people,
just good, wise adult people who we went.
We would spend sometimes three hours, four hours,
because people are hospitable, so if someone comes
to meet you, then you immediately invite them
for lunch or something.
So now you go there at 10, 11
o'clock, you're sitting in conversation, time for
prayer, you pray, and then time for lunch,
you say, please have lunch.
So we have lunch, and then we say,
obviously, if you have lunch, you have tea.
So you literally spend almost the whole day
with them.
And in that entire day, my brother and
I would be with our father, listening to
this conversation.
Believe me, we were not sort of going
there with notebooks and taking notes, we were
just there, listening to conversation, listening to behavior,
seeing how they behave with each other and
so on.
And a lot of that was subconscious, because,
as I said, we didn't really go there
with notebooks to say what are these people
saying and doing.
But it happened, obviously it will happen, if
you are around people, you get to listen
to them speaking, you see them behaving with
each other, you see interactions, you see disagreements,
you see how those are dealt with, how
the disagreements are, how people disagree with each
other.
Some of my most valuable learnings about dealing
with disagreements, and which I use today for
counseling, for arbitration, for conciliation, came from these
meetings, meetings with adults.
People who were older than I and much
wiser and so on, and these are the
people I learned from.
May Allah SWT be pleased with all of
them.
Not all of them were Muslim, there were
many who were not Muslim at all, but
who taught me phenomenal lessons in character, in
ethics, in values and morals, in courage, in
fortitude, patience, you name it.
People who I think of with great love
and great gratitude to this day.
I'm not talking about to this day, I'm
talking now about some of these people, my
memories with them are 50 years old, 60
years old.
But I remember them, and I remember their
interactions with them like it was yesterday.
So, give your children the company of respectable,
respect-worthy adults.
And as I said, it doesn't have to
be only Islamic scholars.
It doesn't have to be Islamic scholars.
It can be anybody, anybody who is respect
-worthy, respectable, is worthy of
taking your children to them, talking to them,
being with them.
You will find also in this case that
many, if not most, I would say even
all, such adults welcome the company of children.
They know what they're doing.
They know that they are being given this
unique opportunity to build a generation, to leave
behind their legacy in the hearts and minds
of people.
They realize that they are getting this opportunity
to teach a young person how to live
their lives.
And they are hugely appreciative of that.
And they will spend the time, and they
will share their thoughts, and they will share
their experiences unstintingly and openly and without any
hesitation.
You know, I've seen this over and over
again.
I've experienced it over and over again.
To this day, I sometimes think that when
I was young, when I was, you know,
12, 15, 10, the kind of people I
was around, and usually it began with my
father because, you know, that was my entry,
doorway.
But then I just used to go and
be with them.
And no one ever threw me out.
And no one ever said, you know, what's
this kid doing here?
They were appreciative.
They liked the fact that I was there,
and they taught me.
And as I said, they didn't teach me,
you know, with a book or a notebook,
say, you know, learn this, do this.
No.
They lived their lives, and I learned just
by observation.
So this is what I want to say
to you.
Keep your children.
Give them the company of good, respectable adults.
And believe me, that will help you build
up a social network like that of people
who are worthy of respect.
And again, I'm repeating myself.
It doesn't have to be religious scholars.
It doesn't even have to be Muslims.
Respectable people.
People who have good character, who have good
manners, who are accomplished, who are high energy,
who have achieved things in life, who are
a source of inspiration and guidance.
That's the kind of company you should choose
for your children.
And this is from your duty as a
parent.
This is from what you can give to
your child.
Your greatest gift to your child is memories.
Create memories with wonderful people.
Jazakallah Khairan.
Today is the 1st of January, 2025.
To make this year a year dedicated to
His obedience.
Starting with myself.
And each one of you, I want you
to make that as a promise for yourself.
Starting with myself, meaning yourself.
That we will spend this year and the
coming years, as many as Allah gives us,
in His company, in His dhikr, in learning
about Him, in learning about His Habib, Muhammad
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
In learning about His Deen and practicing it
in our lives.
And ensuring that we never do anything which
Allah has prohibited.
And we try to do our best to
do everything that He permitted.
And allowed us and commanded us to do.