Mirza Yawar Baig – Choose your memories

Mirza Yawar Baig
Share Page

AI: Summary ©

The loss of family members and the loss of loved ones has caused negative emotions that draw inspiration to drawing a parallel and creating a memory of the past. The importance of learning and avoiding danger of mistakes is also emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning and not forgetting anything in relationships, as well as the difficulty in remembering negative emotions.

AI: Summary ©

00:00:00 --> 00:00:02
			Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
		
00:00:02 --> 00:00:05
			Wa Salatu wa Salamu ala Ashrafil Anbiya'i
		
00:00:05 --> 00:00:05
			wal Mursaleen.
		
00:00:06 --> 00:00:11
			Muhammadur Rasulullahi Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
		
00:00:11 --> 00:00:13
			Tasleeman kaseeran takheeran.
		
00:00:15 --> 00:00:15
			Alhamdulillah.
		
00:00:16 --> 00:00:27
			I am walking here in Ashley Reservoir with
		
00:00:27 --> 00:00:31
			another dear friend of mine, whose name is
		
00:00:31 --> 00:00:32
			also Omar.
		
00:00:32 --> 00:00:35
			So I think all these Omars ask good
		
00:00:35 --> 00:00:35
			questions.
		
00:00:35 --> 00:00:36
			So he is asking me questions.
		
00:00:39 --> 00:00:40
			He says, I guess the time comes in
		
00:00:40 --> 00:00:48
			your lives where your contemporaries, your elders and
		
00:00:48 --> 00:00:53
			so on, they would have passed on and
		
00:00:53 --> 00:00:55
			you are kind of left alone.
		
00:00:56 --> 00:00:58
			So what does that feel like?
		
00:01:00 --> 00:01:03
			So I said to him that I am
		
00:01:03 --> 00:01:03
			getting there.
		
00:01:06 --> 00:01:12
			I am getting there myself because Alhamdulillah, May
		
00:01:12 --> 00:01:14
			Allah grant them Janatul Firdaus.
		
00:01:15 --> 00:01:20
			Both my parents have passed away and my
		
00:01:20 --> 00:01:21
			wife's parents.
		
00:01:22 --> 00:01:29
			And of course several of my, several or
		
00:01:29 --> 00:01:33
			almost all, almost all, not all, of my
		
00:01:33 --> 00:01:36
			teachers have passed away.
		
00:01:41 --> 00:01:46
			And also now, for a while now actually,
		
00:01:47 --> 00:01:53
			some of my contemporaries, which is people I
		
00:01:53 --> 00:01:56
			went to school with, some people who were
		
00:01:58 --> 00:02:00
			younger than me.
		
00:02:01 --> 00:02:05
			This will be, for example, who was in
		
00:02:05 --> 00:02:05
			his forties.
		
00:02:08 --> 00:02:14
			And Aqsal, who was my student, and Alhamdulillah
		
00:02:14 --> 00:02:20
			went up to the level of ADG, Additional
		
00:02:20 --> 00:02:23
			Director General of Police in Bhopal.
		
00:02:26 --> 00:02:35
			And that is the sound
		
00:02:35 --> 00:02:42
			of a jet blast of a phantom because
		
00:02:44 --> 00:02:49
			you are in the flight path of an
		
00:02:49 --> 00:02:50
			airbase.
		
00:03:16 --> 00:03:19
			So that was the jet blast of a
		
00:03:19 --> 00:03:22
			phantom because you are in the flight path
		
00:03:22 --> 00:03:24
			of, near an airbase.
		
00:03:29 --> 00:03:37
			So, Saeed Zafarwaik, school friend who passed away.
		
00:03:41 --> 00:03:45
			Several years ago, around 2010 or something, Perthis
		
00:03:45 --> 00:03:47
			Warras, very, very dear friend of mine.
		
00:03:49 --> 00:03:51
			One of my dearest friends, she passed away.
		
00:03:53 --> 00:03:57
			And many others.
		
00:04:00 --> 00:04:06
			So I am trying to see what's the
		
00:04:06 --> 00:04:07
			best way to answer all those questions.
		
00:04:08 --> 00:04:10
			And actually the best way, at least that
		
00:04:10 --> 00:04:13
			I can think of right now, is to
		
00:04:13 --> 00:04:14
			draw a parallel from what we are seeing
		
00:04:14 --> 00:04:21
			here, which is a scene of passing away,
		
00:04:23 --> 00:04:25
			which can and should be a reminder for
		
00:04:25 --> 00:04:26
			us.
		
00:04:28 --> 00:04:33
			The scene of fall, of autumn.
		
00:04:35 --> 00:04:37
			The Americans have a way of saying things
		
00:04:37 --> 00:04:39
			very directly.
		
00:04:40 --> 00:04:41
			They don't say autumn.
		
00:04:43 --> 00:04:46
			And where you are left to kind of
		
00:04:46 --> 00:04:47
			guess what is the meaning of autumn.
		
00:04:49 --> 00:04:50
			What happens in autumn?
		
00:04:51 --> 00:04:53
			So if you are in America, they don't
		
00:04:53 --> 00:04:53
			call it autumn.
		
00:04:53 --> 00:04:54
			They call it fall.
		
00:04:55 --> 00:04:56
			So no need to guess.
		
00:04:56 --> 00:04:57
			Fall is fall.
		
00:04:58 --> 00:04:59
			And fall is only one way, which is
		
00:04:59 --> 00:05:00
			downwards.
		
00:05:02 --> 00:05:12
			So the thing to therefore remind myself is
		
00:05:12 --> 00:05:14
			that how does it feel well?
		
00:05:16 --> 00:05:18
			I think it's a combination of two things.
		
00:05:18 --> 00:05:22
			One is that whenever I think about these
		
00:05:22 --> 00:05:26
			people, I have, Alhamdulillah, beautiful memories.
		
00:05:27 --> 00:05:28
			And that I associate with them.
		
00:05:30 --> 00:05:31
			And my time with them.
		
00:05:33 --> 00:05:34
			And some of them are not, I mean,
		
00:05:35 --> 00:05:36
			not every single memory is beautiful.
		
00:05:37 --> 00:05:38
			There are some memories which are beautiful.
		
00:05:39 --> 00:05:41
			There are some memories which are difficult.
		
00:05:45 --> 00:05:49
			Maybe in the case of some people, you
		
00:05:49 --> 00:05:51
			would say, well, I wish I did not
		
00:05:51 --> 00:05:51
			have that memory.
		
00:05:54 --> 00:05:57
			And to a great extent, that depends on
		
00:05:58 --> 00:06:03
			what I would have given importance to in
		
00:06:03 --> 00:06:08
			my life, in my relationship, in my interactions.
		
00:06:09 --> 00:06:13
			Because we only remember what we give importance
		
00:06:13 --> 00:06:13
			to.
		
00:06:15 --> 00:06:18
			So if you have in a relationship, if
		
00:06:18 --> 00:06:23
			you are focusing on being critical and finding
		
00:06:23 --> 00:06:29
			fault and all that kind of stuff, which
		
00:06:29 --> 00:06:31
			happens a lot more than we would like
		
00:06:31 --> 00:06:34
			it to happen, because we allow it to
		
00:06:34 --> 00:06:35
			happen.
		
00:06:39 --> 00:06:43
			It's quite a, I would say, tragic human
		
00:06:43 --> 00:06:47
			tendency to remember and recall the negative more
		
00:06:47 --> 00:06:48
			than the positive.
		
00:06:50 --> 00:06:52
			Because in any relationship, there will be negative
		
00:06:52 --> 00:06:58
			and positive because Allah SWT created it like
		
00:06:58 --> 00:06:58
			that.
		
00:06:59 --> 00:07:02
			And He gave us the choice of what
		
00:07:02 --> 00:07:03
			to do with it.
		
00:07:05 --> 00:07:09
			So what we should do with the negatives
		
00:07:09 --> 00:07:12
			is to learn the lesson.
		
00:07:14 --> 00:07:19
			And then forget the data, forget the incident.
		
00:07:19 --> 00:07:22
			Learn the lesson, take the lesson, and forget
		
00:07:22 --> 00:07:22
			the incident.
		
00:07:22 --> 00:07:24
			Because the incident is obviously a planet.
		
00:07:26 --> 00:07:29
			And if you are super critical and you
		
00:07:29 --> 00:07:32
			want to remember every little thing that happened
		
00:07:32 --> 00:07:34
			to you, well, guess what?
		
00:07:35 --> 00:07:37
			A time will come when you will be
		
00:07:37 --> 00:07:38
			left with your memories.
		
00:07:39 --> 00:07:42
			And all those memories will be negative.
		
00:07:45 --> 00:07:49
			Now, that is not something that I would
		
00:07:49 --> 00:07:50
			want to wish on anyone.
		
00:07:53 --> 00:07:56
			So, the choice is ours.
		
00:07:57 --> 00:08:03
			Here is one goose who had the same
		
00:08:03 --> 00:08:04
			issue with her feather.
		
00:08:05 --> 00:08:06
			This one feather is sticking out.
		
00:08:08 --> 00:08:12
			Now, this goose is waiting for a man
		
00:08:12 --> 00:08:16
			who comes here in the morning and feeds
		
00:08:16 --> 00:08:17
			her.
		
00:08:18 --> 00:08:19
			It's strictly illegal.
		
00:08:20 --> 00:08:21
			They are not supposed to do it.
		
00:08:21 --> 00:08:23
			But people do these things.
		
00:08:24 --> 00:08:27
			But the goose is waiting for him.
		
00:08:27 --> 00:08:30
			That's the reason why she is here alone.
		
00:08:33 --> 00:08:37
			And that's a beautiful reflection of the sun.
		
00:08:38 --> 00:08:40
			So, this is the story.
		
00:08:40 --> 00:08:42
			The thing is, what do you choose to
		
00:08:42 --> 00:08:42
			remember?
		
00:08:42 --> 00:08:49
			So how does it feel to be without
		
00:08:49 --> 00:08:50
			your friends and so on?
		
00:08:52 --> 00:08:55
			I would say that I am not without
		
00:08:55 --> 00:08:55
			my friends.
		
00:08:56 --> 00:08:57
			I am just with them in a different
		
00:08:57 --> 00:08:57
			way.
		
00:09:01 --> 00:09:01
			They are there.
		
00:09:01 --> 00:09:02
			They are with me.
		
00:09:04 --> 00:09:08
			Every time I go into the wild, in
		
00:09:08 --> 00:09:10
			the bush, in the forest, I remember three
		
00:09:10 --> 00:09:12
			people as if they are walking with me.
		
00:09:14 --> 00:09:20
			Nawab Nazir Izzat, Uncle Rama and Bertie's Forest.
		
00:09:21 --> 00:09:25
			Literally as if they were walking with me.
		
00:09:25 --> 00:09:26
			And I guess in a way they are
		
00:09:26 --> 00:09:30
			in terms of my memories.
		
00:09:31 --> 00:09:33
			They are not walking with me literally, obviously.
		
00:09:33 --> 00:09:36
			But in terms of the time we lived
		
00:09:36 --> 00:09:39
			together, what we did, what we liked.
		
00:09:41 --> 00:09:44
			In the case of Uncle Rama and all
		
00:09:44 --> 00:09:48
			three of them, we went through some situations
		
00:09:48 --> 00:09:51
			in the forest which were dangerous.
		
00:09:52 --> 00:09:54
			But we faced the danger.
		
00:09:55 --> 00:09:56
			We lived to tell the tale.
		
00:10:01 --> 00:10:04
			The lessons I learnt from them are all
		
00:10:04 --> 00:10:04
			alive.
		
00:10:07 --> 00:10:11
			And again, the message is that it is
		
00:10:11 --> 00:10:13
			what I choose to keep alive.
		
00:10:14 --> 00:10:16
			And that same thing applies to every single
		
00:10:16 --> 00:10:16
			one of us.
		
00:10:17 --> 00:10:18
			What do we choose to keep alive?
		
00:10:21 --> 00:10:22
			As I said before and at the risk
		
00:10:22 --> 00:10:29
			of repetition, we tend to keep the negative
		
00:10:29 --> 00:10:32
			alive and we tend to forget and ignore
		
00:10:32 --> 00:10:35
			the positive, which is regrettable.
		
00:10:39 --> 00:10:40
			I'm going to try and get a close
		
00:10:40 --> 00:10:41
			-up of these birds.
		
00:10:41 --> 00:10:43
			There are a few gulls.
		
00:10:45 --> 00:10:46
			We are not too far from the sea
		
00:10:46 --> 00:10:46
			here.
		
00:10:46 --> 00:10:49
			We are probably, how far away do you
		
00:10:49 --> 00:10:50
			think we are from the sea?
		
00:10:51 --> 00:10:52
			Not too far.
		
00:10:55 --> 00:10:58
			Because the seasons, if you go to Connecticut,
		
00:10:58 --> 00:11:01
			if you go to New, what's it called,
		
00:11:01 --> 00:11:04
			New London, and Groton, that's the sea.
		
00:11:06 --> 00:11:07
			It's Long Island Sound.
		
00:11:08 --> 00:11:11
			And if you get out of Long Island
		
00:11:11 --> 00:11:13
			Sound, you are on the Atlantic.
		
00:11:13 --> 00:11:15
			So we are not so far from the
		
00:11:15 --> 00:11:15
			sea.
		
00:11:16 --> 00:11:18
			So these gulls to come here is not
		
00:11:18 --> 00:11:22
			unusual in terms of distance, but it's unusual
		
00:11:22 --> 00:11:24
			in terms of the fact that they choose
		
00:11:24 --> 00:11:24
			to come here.
		
00:11:35 --> 00:11:38
			There's the alarm call of the geese and
		
00:11:38 --> 00:11:42
			the gulls decide to listen to them.
		
00:11:43 --> 00:11:45
			But then they realize that there is really
		
00:11:45 --> 00:11:46
			nothing to fear because we are not trying
		
00:11:46 --> 00:11:47
			to harm them in any way.
		
00:11:48 --> 00:11:53
			So they land back there and we dethrone
		
00:11:53 --> 00:11:53
			them.
		
00:11:56 --> 00:11:58
			So memories.
		
00:11:58 --> 00:11:59
			And that's why I think my message to
		
00:11:59 --> 00:12:03
			myself and to all of you is choose
		
00:12:03 --> 00:12:03
			your memories.
		
00:12:05 --> 00:12:08
			Choose your memories very carefully because the day
		
00:12:08 --> 00:12:11
			will come when that is all that you
		
00:12:11 --> 00:12:14
			will be left with, your memories.
		
00:12:17 --> 00:12:19
			And if you want to be left with
		
00:12:19 --> 00:12:23
			a lot of painful memories, that's your choice.
		
00:12:24 --> 00:12:26
			But if you want to be left with
		
00:12:26 --> 00:12:28
			a lot of beautiful memories, that is also
		
00:12:28 --> 00:12:29
			your choice.
		
00:12:29 --> 00:12:32
			And that's irrespective of who the people were
		
00:12:32 --> 00:12:33
			involved.
		
00:12:34 --> 00:12:35
			You will get both.
		
00:12:36 --> 00:12:38
			You will get memories that you would be
		
00:12:38 --> 00:12:43
			happy about because of the learning and memories
		
00:12:43 --> 00:12:46
			that you will not be able to wash.
		
00:12:46 --> 00:12:50
			What we choose to keep is up to
		
00:12:50 --> 00:12:50
			us.
		
00:12:51 --> 00:12:56
			I ask Allah to grant us the wisdom
		
00:12:56 --> 00:13:01
			to take from life all the positive that
		
00:13:01 --> 00:13:06
			he sends us and to leave behind the
		
00:13:06 --> 00:13:10
			negative that sometimes it comes covered in.
		
00:13:11 --> 00:13:12
			And I want to end with the hadith
		
00:13:12 --> 00:13:16
			where Rasulullah said Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
00:13:16 --> 00:13:20
			sent Jibreel alaihi salam and he finished making
		
00:13:20 --> 00:13:20
			Jannah.
		
00:13:21 --> 00:13:22
			He said, go take a look at it.
		
00:13:23 --> 00:13:25
			So Jibreel went and took a look at
		
00:13:25 --> 00:13:28
			Jannah and came back and Allah subhanahu wa
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:30
			ta'ala said, what do you think?
		
00:13:31 --> 00:13:32
			And of course Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
00:13:32 --> 00:13:32
			knows everything.
		
00:13:33 --> 00:13:35
			These are all conversations for us to run.
		
00:13:38 --> 00:13:41
			So Jibreel alaihi salam said, it is so
		
00:13:41 --> 00:13:47
			incredibly beautiful that not a single person will
		
00:13:47 --> 00:13:48
			miss getting in there.
		
00:13:49 --> 00:13:51
			Every single man and jinn that you created
		
00:13:51 --> 00:13:52
			will be in there.
		
00:13:53 --> 00:13:54
			So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, I
		
00:13:54 --> 00:14:04
			will surround it with makarih, with temptations, all
		
00:14:04 --> 00:14:05
			kinds of temptations.
		
00:14:08 --> 00:14:10
			And then Jibreel alaihi salam said, if you
		
00:14:10 --> 00:14:13
			do that then I fear that not a
		
00:14:13 --> 00:14:15
			single one of them will be able to
		
00:14:15 --> 00:14:17
			enter Jannah.
		
00:14:18 --> 00:14:22
			And indeed that is the reality because Rasulullah
		
00:14:22 --> 00:14:23
			s.a.w. said you will get into
		
00:14:23 --> 00:14:26
			Jannah only by the grace and mercy of
		
00:14:26 --> 00:14:28
			Allah, not by your deeds.
		
00:14:29 --> 00:14:33
			So none of us is exempt from or
		
00:14:34 --> 00:14:38
			free from or protected against the makarih, against
		
00:14:38 --> 00:14:41
			the temptations of this life.
		
00:14:41 --> 00:14:44
			The key is to try to keep ourselves
		
00:14:44 --> 00:14:47
			safe from it by ensuring that our environment
		
00:14:47 --> 00:14:50
			is free from them, which means the first
		
00:14:50 --> 00:14:52
			thing you do as far as temptations are
		
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54
			concerned is not be brave and fight but
		
00:14:54 --> 00:14:55
			run like *.
		
00:14:56 --> 00:14:57
			Run like *.
		
00:14:58 --> 00:14:59
			Run away.
		
00:14:59 --> 00:15:03
			There is nothing shameful or cowardly about running
		
00:15:03 --> 00:15:05
			away from Jannah.
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:08
			So run away.
		
00:15:10 --> 00:15:13
			And the second thing that we can do
		
00:15:13 --> 00:15:18
			and we should do, if despite our efforts
		
00:15:18 --> 00:15:21
			we do fall into it, which happens, and
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:25
			which can happen for other months, is immediately,
		
00:15:25 --> 00:15:28
			immediately without delay, make istighfar and tawba.
		
00:15:30 --> 00:15:33
			This is the thing that distinguishes and distinguished
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:37
			our father and mother, Adam a.s. and
		
00:15:37 --> 00:15:41
			Eve a.s. from Satan, from Iblis.
		
00:15:42 --> 00:15:44
			Because they immediately made istighfar and tawba.
		
00:15:45 --> 00:15:56
			They said, Whereas Iblis said, He
		
00:15:56 --> 00:16:06
			said, He said, So anyone who is doing
		
00:16:06 --> 00:16:14
			something wrong and procrastinates and delays and thinks
		
00:16:14 --> 00:16:16
			or imagines or says that they have time
		
00:16:17 --> 00:16:20
			and one day, someday, when I am old,
		
00:16:20 --> 00:16:21
			when I have done Hajj, when I have
		
00:16:21 --> 00:16:22
			done this, when I have done that, I
		
00:16:22 --> 00:16:24
			will make istighfar and tawba.
		
00:16:24 --> 00:16:26
			He is following the path of Iblis.
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:29
			And there is no guarantee that that day
		
00:16:29 --> 00:16:29
			will come.
		
00:16:31 --> 00:16:33
			And then Allah said, And said, Go look
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:33
			at Jahannam.
		
00:16:34 --> 00:16:36
			And Jibreel a.s. went and he looked
		
00:16:36 --> 00:16:37
			at Jahannam and he came back and said,
		
00:16:37 --> 00:16:43
			It is so terrible, so fearful, so fearsome.
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:47
			Not fearful, so fearful, so fearsome, so terrible
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:53
			that not a single person no jinn, no
		
00:16:53 --> 00:16:55
			human being will ever do anything to get
		
00:16:55 --> 00:16:56
			in there.
		
00:16:57 --> 00:17:00
			And Rasul Allah said, I will surround it
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:05
			with shuhawat, with base desires.
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:10
			And Jibreel a.s. said, If you do
		
00:17:10 --> 00:17:14
			that, then not a single one of them
		
00:17:14 --> 00:17:15
			will escape it.
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:17
			Every single one of them will be in
		
00:17:17 --> 00:17:18
			Jahannam.
		
00:17:19 --> 00:17:23
			And once again, we rely on the immense
		
00:17:23 --> 00:17:25
			forgiveness of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
		
00:17:32 --> 00:17:33
			Allah said, All
		
00:17:33 --> 00:17:45
			my
		
00:17:45 --> 00:17:50
			slaves who have transgressed against themselves, do not
		
00:17:50 --> 00:17:51
			despair of the mercy of Allah.
		
00:17:52 --> 00:17:55
			Truly Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is Oft
		
00:17:55 --> 00:17:56
			-forgiving, Most Merciful.
		
00:17:57 --> 00:17:59
			Truly Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgives all
		
00:17:59 --> 00:17:59
			sins.
		
00:18:01 --> 00:18:02
			And truly Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
		
00:18:02 --> 00:18:04
			Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
		
00:18:05 --> 00:18:08
			So I remind myself and you, let us
		
00:18:08 --> 00:18:13
			remember the good things from our lives, experiences,
		
00:18:14 --> 00:18:20
			relationships, people, friends, and forgive them and forgive
		
00:18:20 --> 00:18:24
			ourselves for whatever is negative.
		
00:18:26 --> 00:18:32
			Take the lesson, leave the story, and continuously
		
00:18:32 --> 00:18:36
			and constantly keep seeking the mercy of Allah,
		
00:18:37 --> 00:18:40
			run away from everything which is haram, and
		
00:18:40 --> 00:18:44
			towards the mercy of Allah, by seeking His
		
00:18:44 --> 00:18:45
			forgiveness and by repenting.
		
00:18:46 --> 00:18:47
			I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed
		
00:18:47 --> 00:18:49
			Satan, the accursed Satan, the accursed Satan.