Mirza Yawar Baig – Choose your memories
AI: Summary ©
The loss of family members and the loss of loved ones has caused negative emotions that draw inspiration to drawing a parallel and creating a memory of the past. The importance of learning and avoiding danger of mistakes is also emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning and not forgetting anything in relationships, as well as the difficulty in remembering negative emotions.
AI: Summary ©
Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
Wa Salatu wa Salamu ala Ashrafil Anbiya'i
wal Mursaleen.
Muhammadur Rasulullahi Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Tasleeman kaseeran takheeran.
Alhamdulillah.
I am walking here in Ashley Reservoir with
another dear friend of mine, whose name is
also Omar.
So I think all these Omars ask good
questions.
So he is asking me questions.
He says, I guess the time comes in
your lives where your contemporaries, your elders and
so on, they would have passed on and
you are kind of left alone.
So what does that feel like?
So I said to him that I am
getting there.
I am getting there myself because Alhamdulillah, May
Allah grant them Janatul Firdaus.
Both my parents have passed away and my
wife's parents.
And of course several of my, several or
almost all, almost all, not all, of my
teachers have passed away.
And also now, for a while now actually,
some of my contemporaries, which is people I
went to school with, some people who were
younger than me.
This will be, for example, who was in
his forties.
And Aqsal, who was my student, and Alhamdulillah
went up to the level of ADG, Additional
Director General of Police in Bhopal.
And that is the sound
of a jet blast of a phantom because
you are in the flight path of an
airbase.
So that was the jet blast of a
phantom because you are in the flight path
of, near an airbase.
So, Saeed Zafarwaik, school friend who passed away.
Several years ago, around 2010 or something, Perthis
Warras, very, very dear friend of mine.
One of my dearest friends, she passed away.
And many others.
So I am trying to see what's the
best way to answer all those questions.
And actually the best way, at least that
I can think of right now, is to
draw a parallel from what we are seeing
here, which is a scene of passing away,
which can and should be a reminder for
us.
The scene of fall, of autumn.
The Americans have a way of saying things
very directly.
They don't say autumn.
And where you are left to kind of
guess what is the meaning of autumn.
What happens in autumn?
So if you are in America, they don't
call it autumn.
They call it fall.
So no need to guess.
Fall is fall.
And fall is only one way, which is
downwards.
So the thing to therefore remind myself is
that how does it feel well?
I think it's a combination of two things.
One is that whenever I think about these
people, I have, Alhamdulillah, beautiful memories.
And that I associate with them.
And my time with them.
And some of them are not, I mean,
not every single memory is beautiful.
There are some memories which are beautiful.
There are some memories which are difficult.
Maybe in the case of some people, you
would say, well, I wish I did not
have that memory.
And to a great extent, that depends on
what I would have given importance to in
my life, in my relationship, in my interactions.
Because we only remember what we give importance
to.
So if you have in a relationship, if
you are focusing on being critical and finding
fault and all that kind of stuff, which
happens a lot more than we would like
it to happen, because we allow it to
happen.
It's quite a, I would say, tragic human
tendency to remember and recall the negative more
than the positive.
Because in any relationship, there will be negative
and positive because Allah SWT created it like
that.
And He gave us the choice of what
to do with it.
So what we should do with the negatives
is to learn the lesson.
And then forget the data, forget the incident.
Learn the lesson, take the lesson, and forget
the incident.
Because the incident is obviously a planet.
And if you are super critical and you
want to remember every little thing that happened
to you, well, guess what?
A time will come when you will be
left with your memories.
And all those memories will be negative.
Now, that is not something that I would
want to wish on anyone.
So, the choice is ours.
Here is one goose who had the same
issue with her feather.
This one feather is sticking out.
Now, this goose is waiting for a man
who comes here in the morning and feeds
her.
It's strictly illegal.
They are not supposed to do it.
But people do these things.
But the goose is waiting for him.
That's the reason why she is here alone.
And that's a beautiful reflection of the sun.
So, this is the story.
The thing is, what do you choose to
remember?
So how does it feel to be without
your friends and so on?
I would say that I am not without
my friends.
I am just with them in a different
way.
They are there.
They are with me.
Every time I go into the wild, in
the bush, in the forest, I remember three
people as if they are walking with me.
Nawab Nazir Izzat, Uncle Rama and Bertie's Forest.
Literally as if they were walking with me.
And I guess in a way they are
in terms of my memories.
They are not walking with me literally, obviously.
But in terms of the time we lived
together, what we did, what we liked.
In the case of Uncle Rama and all
three of them, we went through some situations
in the forest which were dangerous.
But we faced the danger.
We lived to tell the tale.
The lessons I learnt from them are all
alive.
And again, the message is that it is
what I choose to keep alive.
And that same thing applies to every single
one of us.
What do we choose to keep alive?
As I said before and at the risk
of repetition, we tend to keep the negative
alive and we tend to forget and ignore
the positive, which is regrettable.
I'm going to try and get a close
-up of these birds.
There are a few gulls.
We are not too far from the sea
here.
We are probably, how far away do you
think we are from the sea?
Not too far.
Because the seasons, if you go to Connecticut,
if you go to New, what's it called,
New London, and Groton, that's the sea.
It's Long Island Sound.
And if you get out of Long Island
Sound, you are on the Atlantic.
So we are not so far from the
sea.
So these gulls to come here is not
unusual in terms of distance, but it's unusual
in terms of the fact that they choose
to come here.
There's the alarm call of the geese and
the gulls decide to listen to them.
But then they realize that there is really
nothing to fear because we are not trying
to harm them in any way.
So they land back there and we dethrone
them.
So memories.
And that's why I think my message to
myself and to all of you is choose
your memories.
Choose your memories very carefully because the day
will come when that is all that you
will be left with, your memories.
And if you want to be left with
a lot of painful memories, that's your choice.
But if you want to be left with
a lot of beautiful memories, that is also
your choice.
And that's irrespective of who the people were
involved.
You will get both.
You will get memories that you would be
happy about because of the learning and memories
that you will not be able to wash.
What we choose to keep is up to
us.
I ask Allah to grant us the wisdom
to take from life all the positive that
he sends us and to leave behind the
negative that sometimes it comes covered in.
And I want to end with the hadith
where Rasulullah said Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
sent Jibreel alaihi salam and he finished making
Jannah.
He said, go take a look at it.
So Jibreel went and took a look at
Jannah and came back and Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala said, what do you think?
And of course Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
knows everything.
These are all conversations for us to run.
So Jibreel alaihi salam said, it is so
incredibly beautiful that not a single person will
miss getting in there.
Every single man and jinn that you created
will be in there.
So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, I
will surround it with makarih, with temptations, all
kinds of temptations.
And then Jibreel alaihi salam said, if you
do that then I fear that not a
single one of them will be able to
enter Jannah.
And indeed that is the reality because Rasulullah
s.a.w. said you will get into
Jannah only by the grace and mercy of
Allah, not by your deeds.
So none of us is exempt from or
free from or protected against the makarih, against
the temptations of this life.
The key is to try to keep ourselves
safe from it by ensuring that our environment
is free from them, which means the first
thing you do as far as temptations are
concerned is not be brave and fight but
run like *.
Run like *.
Run away.
There is nothing shameful or cowardly about running
away from Jannah.
So run away.
And the second thing that we can do
and we should do, if despite our efforts
we do fall into it, which happens, and
which can happen for other months, is immediately,
immediately without delay, make istighfar and tawba.
This is the thing that distinguishes and distinguished
our father and mother, Adam a.s. and
Eve a.s. from Satan, from Iblis.
Because they immediately made istighfar and tawba.
They said, Whereas Iblis said, He
said, He said, So anyone who is doing
something wrong and procrastinates and delays and thinks
or imagines or says that they have time
and one day, someday, when I am old,
when I have done Hajj, when I have
done this, when I have done that, I
will make istighfar and tawba.
He is following the path of Iblis.
And there is no guarantee that that day
will come.
And then Allah said, And said, Go look
at Jahannam.
And Jibreel a.s. went and he looked
at Jahannam and he came back and said,
It is so terrible, so fearful, so fearsome.
Not fearful, so fearful, so fearsome, so terrible
that not a single person no jinn, no
human being will ever do anything to get
in there.
And Rasul Allah said, I will surround it
with shuhawat, with base desires.
And Jibreel a.s. said, If you do
that, then not a single one of them
will escape it.
Every single one of them will be in
Jahannam.
And once again, we rely on the immense
forgiveness of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Allah said, All
my
slaves who have transgressed against themselves, do not
despair of the mercy of Allah.
Truly Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is Oft
-forgiving, Most Merciful.
Truly Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgives all
sins.
And truly Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
So I remind myself and you, let us
remember the good things from our lives, experiences,
relationships, people, friends, and forgive them and forgive
ourselves for whatever is negative.
Take the lesson, leave the story, and continuously
and constantly keep seeking the mercy of Allah,
run away from everything which is haram, and
towards the mercy of Allah, by seeking His
forgiveness and by repenting.
I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed
Satan, the accursed Satan, the accursed Satan.