Maryam Amir – Womens empowerment Umm Haram and Umm Sulaym Bint Milhan
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AI: Transcript ©
Spiritual connections, identity, actualization, social justice and
Women's Studies,
all of that has humbled her to get to, sorry, I'm just, we can just
start Muslim Allah Alhamdulillah. About a month ago, I had the honor
of being in mesh Al Aqsa and the Imam of national. He points to
kind of like a member that you can see off in the distance. And he
says, There is a school there that 20,000 women scholars have
graduated from. And they would teach in mashall Aqsa, and they
would travel to Syria, and they would go to Syria, and they would
teach in Syria. And mashal Aksa is this incredible, incredible area
of paddle, tabana, colonna, a single space of it has not been
walked upon by a prophet. Not a single space of it, whether a
prophet or an angel, has not been occupied by that space. This is a
land of blessing. This is a blessed space. And in that space,
what we see is this history of women scholars, this history of
women teachers like ummedra Roll the Allah, may Allah be pleased
with her, that she came and she would teach where the Dome of the
Rock now is inside or outside. And then when her lessons were done,
the Khalif at the time would come. He was her mahram. He would hold
her hand, and they would walk to meshul tibli, where he would leave
salah. Many times when people see meshsa, there's this, like, that's
not actually Masha. That's the Dome of the Rock. And it's
interesting, because that's not correct. The Dome of the Rock is
one masjid, a five that is within the compound of mesh Al Aqsa. So
when you see that other one that everyone says, that's the real
mesh Al Aqsa, that is Masjid. It's called Masjid Al Bili, but it's
one Masjid of many, masajid within the massive compound of Masjid Al
Aqsa, and within this compound Subhanallah, when Umar came into
Jerusalem, came to get the keys to Masjid Al Aqsa, the very first
time that the ad was going to be called in qutz, the very first
Muslim to pray in mashallah, after the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam himself had prayed there when OMA RadiAllahu, Anhu takes
the keys and he comes in. And then it's a much longer story, but just
focusing on the aspect of going into the place of Aqsa, he didn't
know where Aqsa actually was, because at that time, what
happened was the Christians who had ruled previously, remember
Surah a room, Surah rum, Surah rum, where Allah subhanahu says
that they are going Fidel garhi, and Allah is going to, he, he
prophesies, that's Allah. He's telling them. He's telling them
that the room, the Romans have been defeated, but they're going
to get it back. They're going to they're going to defeat the
Persians. And this was like shocking at the time, but what
happened is the Persians had destroyed this area of mishloxa.
Then the Christians came and they were not respectful of the area of
mashallah, so it had been turned into a dump. Mr. ALSA was a
physical dump. It was a place in the space of time where crusaders
would keep it as a pigpen. It was a place where you can still see
the markings of the Crusaders, where they would latch their
horses to the walls, because they would keep it like a stable. So
this area, when Amma RadiAllahu, Anhu comes in, he doesn't exactly
know where's the actual like play spaces of worship. And so one of
the companions who used to be Jewish, who had converted to
Islam, showed him RadiAllahu, Anhu where. And then he asked Bilal
RadiAllahu, Anhu to make the Adam. Now, Bilal had been in wadn of
Medina, but he had left Medina after the Prophet salallahu alayhi
wa sallam passed away. He used to make the Adan in Medina. And then
the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam passed and he couldn't bear
to make the Adhan in the city where the beloved sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam was resting, where the beloved sallallahu
alaihi wasallam asked him to make the Adhan and when he would come
upon the name of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in
the Adhan the pain of the entire city, and hearing the Adhan was so
different after the loss of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, so Bilal asked for permission to leave Medina, and he
was going with a group of people, including ugada ibn swamit, and he
was part of the fat of Al Aqsa, and when he was part of the fetz
of Al Aqsa and AMR asked him to make the Adan. Initially, he said
no.
And then Allahu Anhu encouraged him, saying the Prophet saw them
was here. He would want him to make the Adhan. So bida al
RadiAllahu, Anhu made the Adan, and when he made the Adan,
RadiAllahu, anhu, Allahu Anhu just fell to his knees sobbing. It was
the first time the companions had heard the Adhan from bilali Allahu
Anhu. But can you imagine that now it's in Mashallah? Can you imagine
that now it's where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, led
all of the prophets. Can you imagine that this is a space where
the angels have been and the angels have come and Angela.
Salam gives the revelation to Miriam alaihi salam that she's
going to become the mother of Isa to zakiriya alaihi salam that he
has been he's answered in his dual that he's been making and making
this panel of this space is where om haram bint milhan, the
companion Roly Allah, was with her husband obadi Ibn swamit. Swamit
is buried right outside of the wall of Mashallah. So if you go to
the compound, there are graves on one side outside of the of the
compound. And you can go his grave is literally at the wall with
another companion, shade, Ibn radima. When you go to see arbada
ibn swamit, radila Anu, he is buried right at the wall where
mishsa is. This was one of the first scholars and judges of this
whole area in Philistine. This is just the opening the fetch of this
area, and who was with him, um, haram bins, mil Han rolio Lampa.
So when we talk about 20,000 women scholars who graduated, 20,000
women scholars who taught in Aqsa and went to Syria, think about
where that tradition began. It began with the woman companions
themselves. Why? Because the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam
took a nation who would bury their daughters alive and mentored them
to learn from women as their teachers. So Omi haram, she was
actually a relative of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And
it could have been through blood lineage, or it could have been
through ruled law. It might have been because of the way that they
would have the nursing system where, if, if there's, there's
lineage that's established when people nurse each other's
children. And so the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam would
go and would sleep at her home. This is his aunt, and it wasn't
just her. She also had a sister, um suleiro, I'm Ha and their
stories are so powerful because of who their personalities were and
because of the fact that they were so intentional, despite the
hardship that they faced, the resilience that they showed and
the intentionality of their worship. As women is one, and as
Subhanallah, we see the um haram was there when the Prophet saw
them, woke up smiling from a dream. He had this beautiful
dream, and she asked him, What's What do you Why are you smiling?
And the Prophet SAW had fallen asleep because she was massaging
his hair sallam. She was looking for something in his hair. And can
you imagine the Prophet saw them carrying the message of Islam,
carrying the worry of the whole Ummah, worried about his own
family members, worried about his own daughter, losing his own son,
losing every single one of his children except the faulty Malay,
and then going to who is like his aunt, and just relaxing, like
spending time with his Khala, just having that moment of peace and
Security. And so he is with her. And when he is with her, and she's
going through his hair, combing through his hair, looking for
things in the hair, he falls asleep with that kind of like hair
massage. Saluma, are they? You a Salah? And he has this dream, and
he wakes up smiling. And when she asks about it, he tells the dream,
which is a prophecy of what is going to happen, that these
companions, that they're going to be writing on the ship, that
they're like kings. And she asked to be a part of this group. And
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam doesn't respond with, no,
it's enough for you to stay home. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam
doesn't respond with, don't you know the fact that you're you have
a prophet falling asleep, taking naps in your home is enough for
Paradise. For you. The Prophet saws response wasn't, well, you
have responsibilities to your husband and your children. The
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam's response was, you will be
with them. And another narration they came to offer her. Salalahu
alayhi wa sallam,
we have other narrations of mothers coming and asking about
their reward, and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam teaches us that
their reward is in taking care of their home, is in taking care of
their children, is in taking care of their husband. Every single
woman companion had a different lifestyle, life, reality,
personality, life, objective. And what's so powerful in the Sira is
that we see that their aims for Islam were appreciated by the
Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, whether it was the BenAli
fallen tribe, the woman of the BenAli fallen tribe coming and
asking to help nurse the wounded, and the Prophet SAW Islam at the
Battle of kebab saying with the blessing of Allah, giving them the
blessings of coming, or in another circumstance, where it would be
better for a woman to pray in her home because of the dynamic she
had with her husband. Every single person's reality was reflected in
the society of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa salam, and
it's an obligation upon us as women, really, to mirror the
nuances of that dynamic so that we don't have young women who go into
a masjid space. And many of us, hamdullah, are blessed with MCC
here. And some, some of you asked the question in the other session,
we do have a couple of amazing Masjid Alhamdulillah, but what
about all those mashajid that don't have that example, and where
we don't feel like we can have a space, and where our daughters
grow up, or our sons grow up not seeing that as what should be
normative?
Access What about for them, and the message when someone grows up
in that way, not knowing that Islam is actually for every single
one of us, no matter what we are going through, the resilience that
we're showing, Inshallah, that really can shift the way a person
has their relationship with Islam in general. And I get messages
like that every single week. And those of you who are from the
generation of mothers and grandmothers in this room, I'm
seeing you nodding your heads, and maybe you've seen that in your own
lives. Maybe you've seen that in the lives of your children. Maybe
you've seen that in the lives of of your peers, whose grandchildren
are making a different decision, and it's a very difficult one to
acknowledge when we see that there could be a different reality, if
we were to mirror the society of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, om haram rule the Allahu. Anha, she wanted to go on this
expedition, and I shall rule the Allahu. Anha, she taught us a
statement from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that
the best jihad for a woman is what
what is it?
No, but that's very nice trying to love us. You louder,
no, but very nice try.
Hedge. Hedge is hedge. The answer is hedge. But I love
that multiple people said taking care of the family. That is, if
you have first male love, less than one of you in every single
way, reward you all and the men and all of and so I shall, Allah
anha learns from the Prophet sallallahu Sallam this narration.
After the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passes away, I
shall, Allah anha wants to make Hajj again because of this
narration, because of the strength of this narration, and her seeing
that it is the best type of worship for women. So she goes
with the women, the Mothers of the Believers, not all of them, but
the majority of them wanted to go for an extra hedge because Ayesha
had already made Hajj with the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam, the obligatory Hajj. And what happened to her when she
went?
Yes, she got her period. And what did she do? She cried, she sobbed.
And when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam saw her, he
comforted her. He connected that moment of pain for her to a
prophet her great grandfather, Adam Alayhis Salam, and what he
taught her the rights of how to make Hajj in this circumstance,
her sharing that narration is a gift for all of us until the end
of time. And subhanAllah Ibn taymiy
He was in a circumstance in his time period where he had to make a
fatwa for what women should do when they are on their periods in
hajj, and they can't finish Hajj before they leave before the time
at Ibn Taymiyyah, there was a political there was political
support for Hajj, which meant that the ruler, or the rulers of the
area, they would have Hajj caravans go out to meet the Hajjaj
on their way back. So you're you're going through the desert
for days, months, almost a year, depending on the place that you're
coming from, and there are bandits in the desert. You don't have
water and food, so they had these caravans that would meet the catch
caravans. They would meet them on the way, and they would provide
for them the provision that they needed and the protection, because
if you're constantly meeting caravans, there's less of a chance
that there's going to be some sort of bandit coming through and
trying to take your provision or even murder some of the
individuals on the caravan. But during that time, the ruling class
shifted, and they no longer put the the policy of protection for
the hijab that was suddenly gone. And so the Hajjaj, who would come
into Mecca, and the woman who used to stay longer with their caravan
to complete Hajj after their period, these caravans started to
leave immediately. And they were scared, because if they're going
to stay to complete the Hajj, just because they're on their period,
and it's only going to be one caravan of their relatives or just
a few people, that's not enough protection in the desert for
months at a time, sometimes. And so Ibn Taymiyyah looked at the
reality of women and individuals losing their lives and their
property because now they are stragglers on their own without
the state's protection. And so he made a ruling that he said he hit
the people before the scholars before him, didn't even have to
think about this issue. It never came up for them. But now he made
a ruling that if a woman is in Hajj and she's on her period, or
Amra and she's on her period, and she's not going to finish before
she leaves, and you can't always wait for hedge groups to wait for
you. And also, realistically, it's extremely expensive to delay for
another week. Not everyone has that type of financial capacity.
You can't always leave your children for another week, or your
job for another week, or whatever the circumstance. And so now,
because of because of Aisha, radiAllahu anha, going through
that experience, and Ibn taymiy going through an experience in his
lifetime, women today can go for had Umrah and make.
Hajj or Almara. If you are going to be there and your period is not
going to finish while you are there and you cannot extend your
stay, then you can just go ahead and make Hajj or Almara in that
state. Now there's a difference of opinion on this issue. The
Hanafis, for example, say that a sacrifice is required. Ibn
Taymiyyah doesn't hold that position because he says it's out
of her hands. But different scholars have different opinions.
Don't just take this one statement and go for Hajj. Umrah. Talk to
your local Imam, get some more information. This isn't intended
to be a session on Hajj Umrah. The only reason I'm telling you this
is because I shall Allah Anja despite the fact that she went
through Hajj with the Prophet, saw them. She saw Hajj as the best
Jihad because of the teaching of the teaching of the Prophet,
sallAllahu alaihi. So after the Prophet saw them passed away, she
wanted to go again. And then when she wanted to go again, she went
to Amarillo on who was the Khalifa at the time, and he did not allow
it because they did not have a Mahal. Now, when I was younger, I
was invited to go on an Umrah group I was in college, and a
local Masjid here asked me if I could go with a youth group as
kind of like a guy, like a hedge tour guide for the high school
students. And at the time, I only followed the position that it was
haram for me to travel without a Maham. And I didn't even know
there was another position. So I asked a local scholar, what why is
it that there's a statement that Aisha Lee lahonha That she went
for Hajj? Like, I mean, yeah, an extra Hajj. Like, if her Maham
wasn't there, he responded saying, well, Amar Ali Allahu, Anhu
initially prohibited her from going. He prohibited her from
going. So actually, she was in the wrong, that's what he told me. But
Amar Ali lahon who, if we look at the text that describe his
response, he allowed her because he was convinced by the strength
of her proof. He's not allowing her as the Khalifa, as the one
who's responsible for an entire nation, including the Mothers of
the Believers, who are the highest caliber amongst the amongst the
highest companion companions. He's He's responsible for these
decisions. And so Ahmed Radim, convinced by her proof, he sent
Ahmed and Abdul Rahman RadiAllahu anhuma with her to go and make
Hajj with the Mothers of the Believers. And so she had the
state protection. She had the state protection. She had these
great companions go with them. And the reason that I wanted to
mention any of that is because in that moment where that Shaykh told
me, Well, no, she was wrong. Ahmad, Ali Allahu, Anhu didn't
agree. Initially. I have thought back to that moment so many times
in my life, and I thought, why didn't he tell me that? Allah, Ali
Allahu, Anhu himself accepted her proof. Why was it she was wrong?
And that was the end of the statement we're talking about
Aisha radiAllahu anha. Why couldn't I have been taught it's a
difference of opinion? Why was I taught there's only one right
answer, and that perspective when we're looking at the woman
companions, is really one that shifts our perspectives of
ourselves as women in Islam, because when um haram asks to go,
she could have said, well, Aisha radiAllahu anha taught us that
later on, even if the statement about Hajj was made later on, she
could have then said, well, actually, you know, there's,
there's a better form of worship. It's Hajj, and that's what I
should do, which, of course, is 100% true of what's the best is
such, such an important type of worship. But she never amended her
desire to go. And she was 75 years old when bad and Ibn swamit,
they had captured the Byzantine ships. And for a long time,
waawiya, he wanted Ahmad Ali Allahu Anhu to allow them to build
a naval fleet. And these are people of the desert. They're not
ready for a naval fleet. So Amanullah said no. But later on,
Ahmed RadiAllahu, Anhu said yes. And so this was the first group
that was going on a naval fleet, and she wanted to go with them at
75 years old, because years ago, she asked the Prophet saw them to
be with that group of people, and the Prophet, sallAllahu alayhi wa
sallam, told her that she will be with them. And this really speaks
to the prophecies of the Prophet saw them also, because, in
addition to the fact that he had this dream, and it did come true,
because literally, it could have just not come true, but it did,
but she didn't have to go. It could have been her own personal
decision. She might have passed away before that time, literally
anything could have happened to stop her from going. But she was
with them, and it really speaks to the prophecies. The Prophet saw
them when faulty model the Anu was told, Well, excuse me, radila anha
was told that she was going to be the next one to pass away by the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi wasam amongst his family, and she was
when he told the Mothers of the Believers that the one with the
longest hand is going to pass away, first, they were measuring
hands, but it actually meant the most generous one the Prophet SAW,
who has someone prophesized, who would go to Allah next. And every
single time it was true, because he's a prophet of God, I.
So when we see the um haram joins this battle, we also see that her
example is not in a vacuum, because her sister, um sulei. Um
sulei, there are multiple narrations of the Prophet
sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, saying that he saw, or he heard
someone in Paradise, and
it was her.
It was um sulaym. In one narration, he mentions the
footsteps of Bilal radiallahu anhu, the palace of amrodiloma
anhu. And he mentions her.
So um sulaym, radiAllahu anha, the sister of um Haran. So also a
relative of the Prophet SAW
she is one of these women who has a very feisty personality. She has
a feisty, assertive, aggressive personality. She's one of the one
of Medina who are known to have these descriptions and um sulaym
radiAllahu anha at a battle. She had a dagger. And her husband,
abutalha is like, one is to tell the Prophet saw them, like, look
at my wife. And the Prophet Muslims, like, Why do you have a
dagger? And she's she talks about how she's going to be there to
defend she's going to make sure that there's no deserters from the
Muslim army. But she's there. That's the point that she is
there. And the Prophet saw some knows that she's there, and her
husband knows that she's there, and she is present, Abu taliha,
rodeo Lo and who he is, the one who married her after her husband
passed away, and who knows whose mother She is,
Anas
Annas, the one who we have so many a Hadith from the servant of the
Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam. Om sulaym was one of the
first believers of ythread Before I became Medina. When Musa Abu DHA
who was there making dawah to the people of yatrib, she was one of
the first people to accept Islam. And her son, there is a category
of women in the companions, and that category is called the woman
who accepted Islam before their husbands. The woman who accepted
Islam before their families. These are the mothers that accepted
Islam and guided their children to accept Islam. She guided and Islam
from the time of childhood. Her husband came back after he was on
a
like a trade trip, and he noticed that something was different about
them, and he was not happy about her conversion. And then he went
on another trade trip, and he died.
And she was considered to be exceedingly beautiful, and she was
known to be like a noble woman, and so now a lot of men want to
marry her, and Abuja is like her level. So he comes to her and
wants to marry her an Abu 12 hat.
There is one thing that she asked for him as her Maha who knows what
it is?
Yes, his conversion to Islam. I have a lot of people tell me that
their child, who's in college, or a young, young professional, wants
to get married to a man, but the man is open to converting. He's
actually completely open to becoming Muslim. But they're
worried that it's not really Islam because, you know, it's actually
out of interest for the daughter, and so they don't want to say yes,
and I just think Subhanallah, you don't know who's what is going to
be the moment where someone becomes Muslim. They find Islam,
they accept it, okay, maybe their role that they didn't find Islam
other than through this woman, but they found Islam. They were
coworkers. They're interested. And then they learn about Islam
through her. They confer out of, yeah, it's in general. I agree
with, okay, it's in general. I agree they have to believe in
that, but they're really converting because they're
interested in getting married, even though they accept the
shahada and now they're Muslim and they they may not pray five times
a day, they may still be doing other things, but they generally
accept it. But I've seen those people become the most committed
to Islam and their families. I've seen that they are the ones who
can help their spouse, go from not praying at all to praying five
times a day. Go from their children not caring about Islam at
all to helping them love the Masjid. You don't know what moment
is going to be the reason someone really falls in love, not just
with the person, but with Islam. So Abu told kabalila he wasn't
interested in Islam at first. He learned about Islam from name, and
she would ask him, like, are you really worshiping idols? Like, are
you legitimately worshiping wood that? Like, if you got cold, you
would break it and use it for fire. You're worshiping that.
And Abu tulha is one of the one of the greatest companions, rodilo
Huang Huma. So this woman who has this intense personality, and her
sister who wants to be with the group, who goes in Cyprus, this,
this, this household is also the one.
The Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, would visit out of love
for them. Why? Because om haram. Even though I mentioned her
husband was obedi ibn Samit, this was the next marriage she had. Her
husband and her son, both were killed in Uhud.
They were accepted as them very early when Uhud took place, 70
people were martyred in Uhud, 70 of the companions. And she found
that both her husband and her son were martyred,
and she took it with resilience. She radiated resilience.
And then her brothers, her brothers were appointed by the
prophets holy Salam, a group of 70 of the those who knew Islam, those
who were have felt of what had been revealed so far, were asked
to go and teach a tribe about Islam. This tribe requested that
they send those who know about Islam to teach them. And her two
brothers went, and her two brothers were massacred in this
ambush against all of the companions who had went with them,
with this group, and her brother, haram, he smiled as he was being
killed, and he said, I won. I won.
It is said that there are people as they're passing away. One of my
teachers told me that when someone passes away, sometimes they can
see
the place that they're going to be, or an angel of goodness that
comes and gives them glad tidings. And that moment I'm going to tell
you, spila,
when I was studying in Egypt, there was a woman I had gone to
the masjid so that I can ask the Imam if a group of us who were
American studying in Cairo, if we could study with this Imam. And I
didn't physically see him. I mean, we were like, speaking through a
barrier, and I asked him, like, can we study in Quran with you?
Because he was known to be a scholar of Quran in that region,
and he said, I don't teach women. And I said, we're a group of, you
know, foreigners. This. This is like access that we normally don't
have in America. This is way before like anything YouTube
streams and like online classes. And I asked, Can we, can we study
behind a wall? We will, even if we don't wear noq, we will wear
nakab, we will sit behind a wall. We don't need to see you, but can
we just study with you? And he was very respectful, and he said no.
And I was very sad. Honestly, I just lost pan Allah. This is such
an opportunity to study with a scholar like this, and he's not
comfortable teaching a woman. May Allah, bless him. And I didn't
know where else we were going to study with Quran, with someone
from this background. So I went upstairs into the musallah, and
there were a small group of women there. And one of the women was
like, Can I ask you, what did you ask the Shaykh for like, like, I
went down to the Shaykhs, you know, area where there's
generally, there's only men there asking questions. So she was like,
What did you ask him? And I was like, you know, I really wanted to
study. And he said, he said, No. And
then she was like, You were truthful, so Allah rewards your
truthfulness. And she said, I am here because I'm going to be
taking a tafsir class, and it's a just for women. And she was
holding books of tafsir at that point. I barely knew any Arabic,
and they were all in Arabic. She's like, I will give you all of these
books, and it will give you my phone
number, although, bless her,
and she gave me her phone number, and I met her again, one more
time, and then many years later, when I was back, it was actually
not that many years later, it was a few years later.
Someone told me about a woman who was killed in Rebecca. She was in
a hospital, and her back was facing the window, and a sniper
shot her and killed her. And they said her name is Asmaa suck
Asmaa.
I know that name. There's probably many Asmaa sukkh.
And then I saw her picture, and it was the same sister.
But suddenly on social media, I don't agree that this should have
been done. I was shocked to see it, but it was her picture as she
was covered in the in the burial shrub,
and her face was literally this. I
I have never seen someone smell that white in my life. In life, I
have never seen someone with a bigger smile alive than I saw with
her picture in the burial shroud, just radiant. And again, I don't
agree that I should have been spread on social media. I was
surprised to see it, but that moment for me, I thought of what
she said, You were truthful to Allah. Was truthful to you.
Look at how truthful she was to Allah, and how truthful Allah was
with her.
She didn't live a very long life.
But Subhanallah, the fact that in such a short amount of time, she
made such an impact on my life and the lives of the people that she
knew, ruled Rahul alayha, and that commitment to opening a door of
knowledge for someone who felt like the door was closed for me in
that moment, that was a moment that had I never known what
happened to her. I still held that moment with such healing in my
heart,
when Hamam is saying I won. What kind of life did he lead and he
was Muslim for a very short amount of time? This is he accepted Islam
early. He accepted Islam early. He learned the Quran as much as it
had been revealed. He was a half of the Quran for that amount of
Quran, and then fustu I won.
This is a family that om haram came from. So she's lost her
husband, she's lost her oldest son. She has lost her two
brothers. Om Sulaiman, Ravi lahuan had the same, and their reaction
is not to say I don't have a space in the Muslim community, or Islam
only brings hardship, or every single time I believe in Allah's
Peninsula, more I'm tested even more. Or why isn't my job being
answered that everyone around me that I love is being taken away?
All of these are very real feelings. All of us have these
thoughts and these experiences that's very human. But what do
they do with it? They say, how can we serve Allah and the Messenger
of Allah, sallAllahu, alaihi wasallam, in the way that's going
to be the most effective and also in the way that fits their
personalities, the way that fits their personalities, the great
grandfather of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. Her
name was sukaina this panel when I heard her story, actually Maher Ma
was the one who told me her story first. And the way she told she
was like, you would she was like, you would love her.
And the way she said it was like her personality was just like, so
like, cool. She the people wanted to be like her. She was an
influencer of her time. She made a hairstyle as a preteen, a
hairstyle that became so popular in Mecca, it was so popular in
other areas that she didn't even live in. It was called the
Sukanya, like people would do. It was called the Sukanya, and she
would make her hair like this really cool way. And even the men
tried to do it. And then armor of the Aziz, who was the Khalif at
the time, he was like, stop. Men are not allowed to do this. You
will be punished. This is only a woman's hairstyle. Men had long
hair at that time, too, and he wanted to differentiate their
hairstyles. And so when a man came and proposed to sukaina from her
dad, her father, this the grandson of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi,
he was sent them. Do you know what? What he said? He said,
listen, listen to her. So I told you about her, right? She has
this, like, cool personality. She has a hairstyle that everyone
wants to have. This is when she was really young. So you can
imagine as growing older and and people know her as this, like,
amazing, cool character with, like, everyone wants to be like
her and Anna and all these guys want to marry her and and then
what does he say? He says that her heart is too connected to Allah.
She won't be able to handle being married like she won't be able to
give you your rights as a as a husband, because her heart is too
connected to Allah.
She does eventually get married, and her life is so devastating.
One of the poems that she says is that to the people who murdered
her her father and then later murdered her husband, she said,
You made me an orphan as a young person, and you made me a widow as
a woman.
The pain that she lived was so real, and yet, when you read about
her, or you read the lines of poetry that she would write, her,
connection to Allah was so much more real. That intentionality of
being who you are, and when you face circumstances that shake you,
what do you go back to? You go back to that connection, that
light internally, that Nur the Allah puts in the in the hearts of
the believers, that there are going to be times that we will
stumble and we will not be who we want to be. And I don't know if
you feel this way, but I catch myself frequently thinking I miss
who I used to be.
I wish I could be that person again. I wish I could be another
person. I wish I could be better. There are times I have those
thoughts where I just sit there, like,
when am I ever going to be who I want to become? And I know that
the only reason I'm not becoming it is because I'm stopping myself.
I am stopping myself. And yes, sometimes it's because of outside
messages. And yes, it's just the reality of being busy with life
and all of those things. But also, I, you know, it's funny because
they say like, you shouldn't really care about what people
think about you. You should only care about Allah thinks about you
and you should care about or sees you, not thinks about how he sees
you and what you think about yourself. And it's.
What if you're your biggest hater, what if you're your biggest
critic, and the way you think about yourself is always one where
you're never worthy enough, but that's not how Allah sees you. Why
did He create you to be a part of this ummah? Why did he give you
the examples of OM haram and hum suhaim and sukhaina? Why do we
have the scholars who were women throughout our history. You know,
it's a really funny statement. There's a woman and another
century. I don't remember the century off the top of my head,
but she is in a masjid and she is approached by a man. And the man
says, You woman, you come in here and you put your heads on the
floor and you raise your bottoms up, because Sajida, that's what
he's referring to. And and then she tells him, just put your put
dust in your eyes and stop looking. That's what she says to
him. But then, do you know what he says? He says, I can't stop
looking. And do you know what she responds with? She doesn't say,
Well, you don't deserve to be in the masjid, which, honestly I
don't know. I wouldn't have responded the way she did
Mashallah. She was like, I I focus more when I'm here, when I'm at
home, my children distract me.
And that moment for me, was very powerful, because she expanded on
why the masjid was something she placed she needed to be. She
didn't have to do that. She did not need to give an explanation.
She did not need to give her reasoning. She could have said,
Well, really, just stop looking. She could have just said that and
that was enough, but her giving us insight into that, I don't know
what happened to this man. Maybe that conversation helped him
recognize why sometimes, for a woman with children, being in a
masjid is so much more important than maybe someone in a different
circumstance. But the point is that she said, I need this space.
I need this space, and I need this space to be a place where I
connect to Allah, and what impact is that going to have on her
children, and what impact is that going to have on the children who
see their mothers and their grandmothers going to the masjid
and connected to the house of Allah. That is a legacy that we
are given when Allah, Spano Tala tells us To be smart him
what Sabi Abu Asmaa,
on the
Abuja,
that those who are foremost that they are the closest that they are
in paradise. That verse, when we talk about it, we talk about a
very select few people who are part of that verse, though. I
mean, we cannot compare to or any of the companions, or any of those
who came after them, but we can follow what a companion asked the
Prophet SAW they sent them.
We may not have prepared what they prepared, but we love them. We
didn't prepare what they prepared. We never can prepare what they
prepared, but we love them. And the Prophet saw them taught us
that you are with the one that you love.
So we ask Allah to make us of the sabunal of waluon, make us of the
mukura Rabun. Make us of those who are in jannatinary, even if we
know we don't deserve it, and then even if we know we don't deserve
it, and we are harder on ourselves than anyone else's. And on top of
that, we may feel like we're never going to be good enough. We ask
Allah, Ya Allah, not because of my goodness, but because of your
mercy, and not because of my actions, but because of my love
for the people of action. Count me of those people.
We live in a country where we do not hear the Adnan five times a
day, and we do not hear the Oklahoma on top of that, but we
still choose to pray, or we're struggling to pray
in public places, in random places, just to make Salah on
time. Do you not think that the angels who are roaming the earth,
who are sent to protect and make dua for you are not acknowledging
that, witnessing that and praying for you? We're here for a reason
in this land, for a reason in this time, for a reason every single
one of us has a role to play. What that role is, we need to go back
to what the woman companions did. Look at what our skills, our
interests, our passions are, and stop denying them. And instead
say, How can I use this for the sake of Allah? May Allah use this
for his six pinnacle of mobiha. Halina can.