Maryam Amir – The Power of Duaa interview Melanie Elturk of Haute Hijab
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Maria, I want to get just a little bit of background on you. Maria.
Masha Allah, number one, she's a half a Quran. So goals,
all of us strive to be happy that
you're, you're getting your second bachelor's degree at an Asad right
now in Islamic Studies, correct? I finished. It finished. Oh my gosh,
that's incredible. Oh, thank you. And you did that remote. Is that
right? Yes, I did, but your first fashion was critical race and
child psychology. Is that right? Yeah, child psychology was my
bachelor's and then critical race theory was my research for my
master's.
Amazing. So you are coming from a ton of strength, lots of
knowledge. We're so happy to have you. Thank you for being on with
us. I'm honored to be here. Thank you. Cool. So you ready to kick it
off? Yeah, I think so. Inshallah, wait,
where are you calling in from? Where do you live? California,
that's right, I just wanted everybody to know she's coming in
from Kelly. Cool. So let's get into it. I'm really excited about
the topic of daha.
You know, this all started because we had a communal.if you will.
Zainab said, Man LED. And after that, so many women were like, I
didn't even know you could make dot like this. I didn't know that
we were allowed to make dot this way. I've never heard dot like
this. And we were like, Okay, we need to do something and allow and
let everyone know that you could do this every day, and that, you
know, there's not specific times for.so just at the top, let's
start really basic. What is dua? Why do we make job? Okay,
so when we look at what do i is, I'm sure all of you have heard, or
most of you heard, of the concept of dua. But dua is one of it's the
essence of worship and SubhanAllah. When you look at what
ja is, the reason why it's so powerful is because it impacts
three different parts of your life, and all of them we think
about and we process, but we don't know how dua works with us in all
of those ways. So the first one is, when we think about dua, it
impacts our spiritual health, and the second one is, it impacts our
mental health, and the third one is it impacts our relationship
with other people and the health that we have in our relationships.
So let's look at what dua is in our lives, and also the way that
it impacts the way that we interact with the world, and, most
importantly, the way we interact with our Lord. So in terms of
spiritual health, I get questions all the time from sisters who are
like, I've been making the same dua for, you know, six months, for
two years, for three years, for five years, and bad things keep
happening to me, and my dua isn't answered. And am I saying the
wrong things? And why does Allah keep testing me in this way, and
those are very human reactions. I think all of us get to this point
where we're like, why does this keep happening? But at the same
time, when we look at spiritual health, there was a sister who
came to me and she said that she had had a baby that was born
stillbirth, which is extremely hard, that is such a test. And
then right after that, she had a miscarriage of their second
pregnancy. And so she asked me, Why do I have to go through this
twice? Why do I have to go through that those types of trials,
they're both the same kind of trial two different times. And
after we talked to me, processed a bit, she said something which I
think is really important for us to focus on, especially in
Ramadan, and that is she said she had never made so much dua, or
felt the sweetness of her relationship with Allah until she
went through these trials. So going through those types of
struggles are what caused her to feel like she could make dua in a
way that from the depth of her heart, she felt like she was on a
boat in the middle of the ocean. She felt like she was drowning,
and noone could say for except for Allah. And so that type of dua
that just bubbles out of your heart in desperation, that's a
type of sweetness that you experience when you're in that
depth, and you know nobody else can answer you. But of course, you
also need to see signs of Allah's love for you through that process,
because when you're going through so much difficulty over and over,
it can be very difficult to feel like Allah is even listening to
you. And so one of the parts of spiritual health when it comes to
dua is recognizing that there are things that happen in your life
that may not be huge, but they are answers to duas that you might
have made a long time ago, maybe right now, it's not best for
whatever you're making dua for, but in his mercy and love for you
and the fact that you keep making God, He answers you in a different
way. So I'll give you an example, when I was blessed to go for Hajj
many years ago. It's actually also in 2012 hamdullah. I was with my
husband and two sisters who were very like, very beloved to me. And
so we were in a group that may Allah bless you know, everyone had
extremely judgmental attitudes. The two sisters that I lived with,
after a few days of this type of treatment, they started to cry,
and unfortunately, like you know, you see the difficult.
Little aspects of character in our Ummah, when you go for Hajj, and
we pray, all of us to have you know the best character with with
Allah and the character of the Prophet. But when you see that in
hedge, especially, you're like, This is so real. Like, this is how
our OMA is, because you're in Mecca, you're in Medina, you're in
hajj, and you can still treat someone this way. So they were
super sad. They were crying. All the emotions had gotten, gotten
kind of overwhelming them. And I was like, they had been asking.
They were just like, in Minna, in the tent city, like, if you
haven't gone for hedge, it's literally a city of tents. Like,
that's all it is. There's just tents everywhere. And so Pamela,
they were like, talking about how much they wanted Baskin Robbins
ice cream specifically. And, okay, I'm not like branding. I'm not
like branding. I'm not trying to, like, promote Baskin Robbins, but
that's what they wanted. And we were in the middle of tents, just
like tents everywhere. And so my husband and I were like, Let's go
see if we can find Baskin Robbins ice cream. We walk out and there's
just tents everywhere. There's nothing. There's a small stand
that has food that had probably, like 4000 people in line, but they
had a woman's side that had like three people in line. So I went to
that side. I side, and I was like, Hey, excuse me, do you guys have
ice cream? And they were like, No, we're like, in the middle of the
desert, we don't have ice cream. So I was like, Oh, bless you. So
paddle, after like an hour, we hadn't found anything, and we go
back into our area and we're just making dua the Allah, like,
facilitates the way. And we walk into where our group tent is, and
there is someone standing with Baskin Robbins ice cream. And I
asked, Where did you get this? And they were like, Oh, it's from this
tent. So they were like, in a higher up group, and they had
this, like, chill area where they all had couches and AC and we're
getting ice cream. So I was like, maybe we could go and, like, pay
for the ice cream, since that's not part of our package. So I went
to ask, you know, the person who was serving the ice cream, like,
Excuse me, like we're not part of this package, but can we buy the
ice cream? And he told me, you can buy ice cream with cough drops. If
you have cough drops, I can give you some ice cream. And I think
that anyone hearing this would be like, oh, like, He's funny. He's
trying to make a joke, or maybe in hedge time everyone has lost their
voice, and so he just wanted to to, like, you know, really badly
wanted cough drops. But I always have cough drops. I have cough
drops everywhere all the time. I am the cough drop person. The fact
that Allah knew this need of his, and you this need of these sisters
and set me to go to him who had what I needed to give him, what I
had, to bring it back to these women who, just in passing, were
wishing to Allah that they had ice cream Subhan Allah in the middle
of the desert, how Allah can facilitate all of These different
people coming together just to bring comfort to some people. That
is an answer of dua. That might not be your biggest life test
being answered, because only Allah knows why we're tested with those
big life tests. And as we get into the second point, which is mental
health, dua impacts your mental health, because especially life is
filled with trials, and we see that amongst prophets who are so
righteous, they are the most righteous people in the on the
face of the earth, and they went through the most difficult trials.
And we don't say, oh, that means that they don't have strongly man
Oh, that means Allah doesn't enter their abula. We would never say
that. We simply say they are examples for all of us who are
going to go through life trials, and yet they still held on to
Allah. Look at Yaqub alaihi salam. He lost Yusuf alaihi salam for 40
years. He cried 40 years before he was rejoined with Yusuf alaihi
salam. Did he cry for a year and then was told, okay, get over it.
You need to stop now, even though his family was like, you're still
not over this. And yahilam told them that I complained to Allah,
and he know, I know from Allah what you don't know. Subhanallah,
we often are told you need to get over your feelings. But we see
what the prophets that sometimes for them, it took even longer than
the time that it takes for us, and that's okay. What is so beautiful
about dua for your mental health? Subhanallah, a therapist, told me
that what is so powerful for on a personal psychological level is
that when you're making dua, you are being heard uninterrupted.
There's a validation in knowing that someone is listening to you
and that they are not going to stop you from crying out to them,
and they're going to listen to you the entire time, and not only
that, they're also going to respond to you, and we'll talk
about the ways that responses come inshallah later, but the point is
that you are seen when you make dua And
subhanAllah, sometimes the way that you're seen is in the way you
want to be seen, and that can be a struggle internally, but that's
also when you process that he knows the end. So when we look at,
for example, the mother of.
Sa alaihi salam. Musa alaihi salam, he was born into a place
where baby boys are being slaughtered. Now, why didn't Allah
simply bless his mother with a girl? That would have just been
the solution. She could have had a baby girl. She could have said,
why wasn't I born with a girl? Why did I have to be born in this
year, on this day? Why did her son have to be born in this year at
this time? Subhanallah for our own he is killing all these babies.
She has this. Had to put the baby into a basket into a river. Now,
if Melanie suggested I do that, or I suggested someone else do that,
I think all of us would be like, block, unfollow, possibly call
authorities. I don't want this person in my life in any way, but
she put her baby into a basket and Subhanallah, it's not like Allah
sent that baby into another country to be saved by another
type of person who could protect the baby. Allah put that basket
right into the home of the pharaoh, exactly where she was
trying to protect him from. Why would Allah send the baby directly
to the Pharaoh? All of us, I think, would be like
Allah put my trust in you. I mean, that's what exactly I was trying
to save him from. But because he was sent there,
FIRA not only adopted him, he also sent this baby back to his mother.
Allah made it so that Musa would come back to his mom, and now she
didn't have to hide. She had the protection of the state, and not
only that, the palace was giving her provision. So in all of these
different ways, she was being cared for from the baby that she
put her trust in Allah, for even though Musa alaihi salam was sent
to Pharaoh, the fact that he was sent there set up the stage for
him to be able to save an entire nation of people. And until now,
all of us draw inspiration from Musa alayhi salam. All of us are
impacted by that action of Musa Adey has sent him. And so
sometimes when you go through something in the middle of it,
you're like, why did why was I delivered to the doorstep of the
Pharaoh? You have to step back and look at but Allah knows the full
picture, and sometimes for the long, lasting impact of what's
going to happen in my life far after I leave this world. It's so
short. I mean, really at the most, Inshallah, Allah blesses all of us
with living to 109
and more, but at the most, it's probably going to be around that,
and then people are going to forget. You're going to be gone.
But what they won't forget is the actions that you did. And if, even
if they forget your name, even if you are wiped off the face of the
earth, the same sky, the same trees, they are witnessing the
actions that you did while you were here And subhanAllah, you
don't know what part of the earth is going to miss you, what part of
the earth weeps for your loss, for you to leave it, and so you don't
know what beautiful end inshallah is in store for the reason that
that dua isn't answered right now in the way that you see it. And I
know in my own life, when I was in college, I had a dua that I kept
making over and over. And I made dua in sujood, in Ramadan, like
and when it was raining, anytime I was making this jaw, and they kept
being tested over and over, no matter what happened, everything
that I was making to have for one drawer would close, and it would
lead me further away from that dog being answered. And subhanAllah,
it took seven years for that dog to be answered, and when it was
answered, I realized in that moment that it happened at the
best time for me and the best way for me, and it would not have come
true unless all those doors were closed to lead me on those
different paths that I needed to be for that exact moment to take
place. So sometimes it's hard for us to see the answer in a moment
we just wonder why. But this goes back to trusting in who our Lord
is. The Allah tells us that Allah is
the most beautiful name, so make dua to him by those names. And the
Quraysh were like you say that you can't call upon all these gods,
but you call to Al Qadir, you call to Al Rahman, and Allah revealed
this verse, that Allah has the most beautiful names, all these
different names. So call to Allah by these names, and that is part
of the process getting to know who Allah is. Because if I keep
thinking, why does Allah do this to me? And I don't know who he is,
then it's like saying, Why is it melody responding to my calls? Why
doesn't she want to call me? Why doesn't she respond? And I'm like,
she must hate me. Oh, she's Oh, she's busy, she's busy, but ah, it
must be something I did. What did I do wrong? Oh no, it's her. It's
not me, it's totally her. I've given her so many excuses. We do
that to people.
All of course, Allah's example is so much greater. But if I know
Melanie and I know her as a person, and I care about her and I
know where she's coming from, I would never be like she's trying
to, like, totally just ignore me. I would be like, she's got a lot
going on, except with Allah. That's not the case with Allah.
You are part of what he has going on. Subhan wa taala, every single
person. He knows what we're all going through, and he answers all
of us at the same time. But knowing who he is by learning
about him through his book, the Quran, by reading about his names
and making a DUA to him by that specific name. Inshallah, that
process will sweeten our relationship with Him and will
help us understand why we're going through some of the things we go
through in our lives. And I would recommend there's a series on the
virtual mosque.com and it's a virtual mosque.com by Jean Ann.
It's called the names of Allah series. If you just Google the
names of Allah series, virtual mosque. It's a PDF with the names
of Allah. Pick a name, pick an article every week one name, make
dua to Allah by that name for a week, and Inshallah, in three
months, see where you are in your heart. And I think guaranteed,
Inshallah, you're going to be in a completely different place when
you send Salam to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, there are
angels waiting at your lips just for you to say that and send your
Salam to the Prophet sallallahu Salla. We know that there are
angels writing deeds for us, and there are angels that come to us.
There are angels that roam the earth looking for halapas of Vic
just like this one, just so they can come and surround that halapa
And, okay, that's amazing angels, yay. But we don't know what angels
do when angels make to offer you, if one angel make dua for all the
believers, Allah would forgive all the believers. So what about all
the angels making to offer you at the same time? What about the
angels when they make to offer you, it's accepted? What about the
angels being a means of bringing mercy into your life and bringing
bottlecat and forgiveness into your life? And that's what of
Allah's love for you, because Allah commands the angels to do
these things, Allah commands them to roam the earth looking for
opportunities for you, out of Allah's love for you, when you
make dua for someone else, Allah subhanahu wa has an angel that
comes and says, Amin and for you when you make dua for other
people, That means that angels are coming to you and praying for that
same thing for you. And I'll tell you again in my life, I need to
offer someone over and over as a very specific toa, she wanted
something so badly. It was one of my friends and SubhanAllah. It was
something she was like, talking to me about all the time, like, oh my
god, this is like, I wish, I wish I was making dog for her all the
time, and I didn't want this job. But that's why I came true for me.
Subhanallah, that's why I came true for me. And in the moment
when it happened, I was like, Is this because I made so much to
offer her? Like, why did it happen for me and not for her? But out of
that dog came true for me. Years later, something happened, and in
the moment, I didn't need it, but years later I did so Subhanallah,
I benefited from the DUA that I made for someone else in a long
term way. But you know what she got? She got something even better
than the DUA that I was making for her, and it came for her at a
later time, but I had no doubt that it was because of the
collective we made together for her, the Companions, when they
wanted something, they made dua for someone else, because they
knew that their chances of getting the response was actually in the
fact that they were praying for someone else. So the fact that you
pray for someone else, and they don't even know it, and it's
behind their back, do it for them. Do it from your loved ones. Do it
for the angels coming into your life. Do it for your own healing.
Sometimes our trauma is so real because we can't let go of what
someone has done to us. I'm not telling you to let go of what
someone has done to you. I'm not telling you to forget I'm telling
you to go to therapy. I'm telling you to find support. I'm telling
you to process your emotions, and in the process of all that, get to
a point where you realize that at some point, if you start making a
dua for someone else, that means that there's a progress in your
healing. And that doesn't mean you need to make dua for someone who
has wronged you in a serious triggering way. I'm not suggesting
that someone who has wronged you in a very triggering way. I'm not
suggesting you go and you pour your DUA out and ask Allah to
forgive them. You don't you're not required to do that. I'm simply
saying that sometimes we hold on to things that hurt us more than
it hurts other people. So take all of that into Doha and SubhanAllah.
When we are praying for other people, we're going to find that
we have control something happens to us from someone else that we
feel oppressed by. Something happens to someone we love, and we
feel like we don't have control. It gives us control. It's an
action we can do, and it's a place we are seen and we are heard, not
only by someone who cares about us and is willing to listen, but
someone who can change things, and someone who.
Is actively involved in your life, and who loves you more than you
even love yourself and love the people that you love. So there's
the three aspects of DUA and why they are helpful for us in our
lives. Inshallah. So if you can speak on to on the practical of
the actual practice and logistically, what is the right
way to make dua, so one of the most basic forms, let's just talk
on the very basic level, I am contacted by people who can't
openly be Muslim because of their families, or they're in a lot of
situations where they can't sit and fulfill all of the etiquettes
of dua, and they're wondering, can they still make dua? So just on
the most basic form, when you are stripped down and have nothing
else, make dua from your heart. Just call out from your heart,
whatever it is that the desperation you feel, that
desperation call out from your heart. Allah knows what's
happening in your heart, and He will listen to you. Now, if you're
able to actually make dua in a like actual form, some of the
etiquettes of dua are going to make Wu do being in a state of
wudu. Of course, if you're not in a state of wudu, don't let that
stop you from making dua. Make dua. Anyway. One of the reasons
that I think we don't do righteous actions is because sometimes we're
like, oh, I have to go make Wu do to be able to do that. I have to
make wudu before I can make Quran. I have to make Wu do it before I
can make dua. You. To stop you from doing the action, then it's
an etiquette. It's not a requirement. If you can be in a
state of volu face the goodla is another etiquette, not a
requirement. It's an etiquette to face. Raising your hands again, an
etiquette of that you raise your hands like someone who is begging
Allah's panel to Allah for something, and
I didn't understand what it meant to really ask Allah for something
from an emotional level. Like, of course, all of us make to offer
him emotional places. But
the way that I saw it, like given to me as an example in the like,
the highest form of it that I've seen in a public way was when I
moved to Egypt to study, there was an imam there who was leading
tarawiah, and he would make dua like this. So first, of course,
one of the etiquettes of dua is to begin by praising Allah. So you
praise him, Oh Allah, thank you for all you've given me. Oh Allah,
you were the one with the most beautiful names. Alhamdulillah,
for all your blessings. You just praise Allah, to Allah that
opening that conversation with him, and then you start sending
Salawat on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. The more Salawat
you said on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam in general, in
your life, those Salawat are a means of Allah sending Salam to
you, the angel sending Salam to you. Your ranks being raised, your
your your it means of your forgiveness. There's no loss with
sending Salawat on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So
you give as much Salawat to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam as you have time for in your DUA, and just saying even one
time, Allah, Salah alabi, or just peace be upon him. Oh Muhammad,
sallAllahu, Oh Allah, to the Prophet sallallahu sallam. That's
enough inshaAllah, but if you can do more, great. And then going
into dua. So he would go into dua like this. He would praise Allah,
send Salam and the Prophet, salallahu, alayhi wa sallam. And
then he would start making dua like someone who is broken, and
the only one who can meant him is Allah. And he's making this dua in
front of 1000s of people, and he is weeping. And the way he would
call out to Allah is a way that Subhanallah, you just feel the
desperation. He would say, Oh Allah, if you turn us away, who is
going to answer us? Oh Allah, if you don't answer us, who are we
going to turn to don't turn us away. Don't turn us away. Don't
turn us away. La tarud,
don't turn us away. He kept saying that over and over, and then he
would say things that Allah SWT says in the Quran and that the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasalam taught us. So he would say, for
example,
you told us in your book, and your book is the truth. Oh
Allah, you told us make to add to me, and I will answer you. Here we
are making to add to answer us. Answer us. Answer us. It's
begging. It's begging from the depths of your heart. And Allah
subhanho wa taala, the way that I felt that dua being answered, not
just for him, but for everyone in that crowd. He made to offer
things that I've never made God for in my life, but just being
present in in that moment those dua came true for my life, and
when they happened, I said, this is from that Sheik, because his
dua was so from the heart. It was just so, so it was like all his
pain was on a was on his hands and like, this is the thing about dog,
like you feel way down by your shoulder, like, just physically in
your shoulders. Like, do me a favor. Sit up for a second. Like
this, oh. Like, just sit up. Put your shoulders back smile. Give me
that million dollar watt smile you have. Melanie Masha.
I love seeing your smile. If I have a bad day, I like to go onto
Melanie's Instagram, live no her like, feed her stories, her
stories, and just watch her just like,
smile. It just makes me so happy. May Allah bless you and make you
smiling always in this life, and when you meet Allah, it's just, it
just brings me so much joy, but that smile that you feel like you
sit up and you smile, how do you physically feel right now? Melody
when you're doing that
happy, okay, do me a favor. Now, shrink your body like this. All
right, put your head down. Try to feel like
I'm just so unhappy right now. I just feel overwhelmed.
Alright, how do you feel now?
Heavy.
Heavy. You physically feel heavier. It's just about the
posture you have, the way that you feel the opening, if you
physically feel heavier in your life, like Allah made sujood for
us as such a point of healing. You physically take that pain into
your sujood. You physically take that pain into your door. You go
into that space and you call out to Him, and you remove that pain
that you feel that's physically weighing you down into your hands
that's taken up to Allah subhana wa taala. How much more freeing is
that process? How many times have you felt so overwhelmed, until you
got to a place where you needed to bawl, and when you were bawling,
you suddenly felt this relief. You stood up feeling like I don't have
the answers, but I don't feel like I'm alone. And that is what's so
beautiful about the process of calling up to Allah in the depths
of your pain, it's not that everything's going to fix right
away, it's that you know that you're not alone in the process.
So part of the process is just
humbling ourselves to Him in a way that only he can see, only he can
know, and then afterwards, putting our trust in Him that we've called
out to him, we're continually calling out to him. And I know
that sometimes we feel like, oh, I don't want to make John to find my
keys. Like, oh, I really need my keys right now. I will make to
offer it, but I wish I was spending this time making to offer
something really big. But don't look at it like that. Look at it
like every time you make dua, it's a form of worship. And every time
you make dua, it's a form of me connecting to Allah. When you have
a friend, you're going to be like, and then I can apply my keys. And
it took me forever, and then I was at the red light, and, ah, it took
forever. And like, you'll tell them those parts of your day
because you're friends and you're just like, oh, let's just hang
out. Let's just decompress. Let's process, do that with Allah. Don't
look at it like, Oh, he's too busy for me. No. Part of your belief in
Him is the fact that you know that even though he had the entire
earth and everything outside and it, he still listens to you very
immediately, very personally, even the depths of your heart that you
don't even know how to say out loud. Think about the Prophet
salallahu, alaihi wasallam. I know that you go through a lot. I know
what it's like to lose someone you love and the fear and not having
what you want come true. But look at the Prophet sallallahu a Salam.
He was Subhanallah, not only in a space of isolation, and then he
was persecuted, and then he saw so many people that he loved taken
from him, Abu Asmaa. He was in them. He lost every single one of
his children from infanthood to adulthood, except for faulty
model, the every single child in his lifetime, except for faulty
level. The lost his best friend, Khadijah. He lost both of his
parents. He never knew his dad. He lost his mom, sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam. Lost after loss after loss, and his mother, he would go
to her grave. Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam decades later, and he would
cry over that loss. It's not a loss that you just forget. Those
of you who have lost your loved ones, you know that pain, it
doesn't go away. It's not like with time it gets easier. It's
just maybe the tears are not as intense, but the pain doesn't go
away. It's always there. And Allah sees that, and he knows that, and
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam went through that, and so
we have every single type of loss of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam has gone through in his own lifetime,
and we end our dua with that recognition. And that's not part
of I'm not telling you from the Sharia. This is just my personal
reflection that when you love someone and you miss them,
remember the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. He went through
life missing so many people too. You're not alone. You're not
alone. Allah doesn't not see your pain, and he does not know what
you're going through. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam himself went through that and so much more that we didn't
even talk about today.
And so this is a moment that I can connect to that Beloved Prophet,
sallAllahu alayhi wasallam and inshallah on the day of.
It that because of that pain of that loss, that I will be rejoined
with him at the hold of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam. And we pray that no matter what someone went through at the
end of their life, no matter what they did, that Allah knows exactly
what they were going through, and that in that moment, he is a
forgiver. He knows exactly why he knows what the hearts don't know.
And it's with him that's so easy for him to forgive them, and that
he rejoins us with them at the hold of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam. So ending our dua with that Salam on our beloved
and knowing that that Salam is inshaAllah will bring us even
closer to him on the day of judgment. SalAllahu alayhi wa
sallam, salaam, inshaAllah. I love that so much. I think that a lot
of the questions that I think a lot of us sometimes feel
frustrated that when we're making dua, we feel as though it's not
coming soon. It's not coming at all. But, you know, we may forget
that every time we make dua, we are being answered in some way. So
if you can go through what that is, dua can be answered exactly
like it's meant to be, like you're asking for it, or it can be
answered in a better way at a better time, or it can be answered
later on, or it can be a means of something being averted from you.
How many times have you been about to get into an accident, pre
quarantine, and when you're about to get into that accident,
suddenly the car is like, swerve. Has that ever happened to you?
Anytime that happens to me? I'm like, SubhanAllah. This is a dua
that I made that wasn't answered in the way that I saw it. But
Allah is protecting me because, man, you were definitely supposed
to collide, but I feel like maybe the wings of the angels are there
to buffer the car, because they just suddenly, it's not like it's
not it feels like there's like bumpers all over the car.
Subhanallah, maybe those are the wings of the angels that Allah has
sent to protect you because of the DUA that you made five years ago
that you didn't see the answer of, but Allah has protected you now
because of that dua, and also it's a means of that dua being seen in
the hereafter. You may not have that jaw answered right now, but
on the in the Hereafter, that's when you really want that dua to
be answered, because that's when it's going to be an eternal
answer. It's not just for the you know, time that we're on this
earth, which yes, Oh Allah, please answer all of our da here too, and
then answer all of our by giving us exactly what we asked for, but
way better in the hereafter. The thing about Allah that I love
Subhan wa Taala is, well, everything, but also is that once,
I was talking to a who was one of my mentors, and I was like, you
know, I we hear this concept in our deen, which is like, Allah
loves you if you're tested, right? Like you hear that if you're
tested so much, that's a sign of Allah's love, which is so true. If
you are tested, it's a sign of His love for you. Look at it in that
way. It's the way that you look at it. What's your reaction going to
be? Is this going to be, I'm going to, Inshallah, try my best to come
closer to him because of this test, work on that. That's a sign
inshallah of his love for you. But at the same time, we also hear
like, if you're tested, it means Allah loves you. If you're tested,
it means Allah loves you, so you're like, if I'm not tested,
does that mean I need to be tested? I get this question all
the time. So many good things are coming my way. Alhamdulillah, that
I'm worried that. Does this mean that I'm not doing something
right? Does this mean I'm supposed to be tested in some way? Mashiach
said, when Allah sends you mercy, ride the waves of mercy. You never
want to be tested. So don't ask Allah for patience. Don't say, Oh
Allah, make me patient. Oh Allah, give me patience. Say, Oh Allah,
give me ease. Oh Allah, give me ease. Because how are you going to
be trained to develop patience, unless you go through tests to
become a patient person you're training, you're asking God,
you're making God to someone make me patient, but you're like,
watching Netflix all day, you're eating ice cream, you're just
chilling like, super patient. Nothing is happening in your life,
but suddenly you're tested over and over and over, and then it's
like, okay, now I need to practice patience. So I'm definitely not
saying that you shouldn't ask to be a patient person. I although I
literally just said that, that's not what I mean. What I mean is we
don't ask for tests. We ask for ease. That's the point. We ask
Allah to bless our life. Oh, Allah, we don't know what the
people who've gone through the type of hardship we can't imagine
have gone through right now, there are vulnerable populations all
over the world and like, yes, there are some difficulties that
come with being a quarantine, and there are even more difficulties
for people who have very difficult economic or domestic struggles in
their lives. There's the health issues. There are so many trials
that some of us experience that are different from other people.
But there are also people who go through that in concentration
camps. There are people who go through that in refugee camps,
like all of us have different levels of struggle, right? And we
don't all know what the immensity of someone else's struggles are,
but we think those people must be the people who are getting into
the highest levels of Paradise because of the trials that they
have to go through. I'm sure you've thought that heard that
idea that their reward is in the Hereafter, but.
Pray for them, and we beg Allah to remove their affliction and to
miraculously give them something better. And we ask that Allah,
because of our love for them, because the Prophet sallallahu,
alayhi wa sallam, taught us that we're going to be with the people
that we love. So we ask that Allah, without being tested, that
out of our love for them, he joins us with those people, and we beg a
lot to cure them, to relieve them of their affliction. And of
course, we have to see what we need to do, because part of the
answer of dua is working for it inshallah. And you know, beyond, I
think, the how you so eloquently put out everything that will
happen in dua. And I love that you touched upon, maybe there are
things we should have make dua for.
Can you talk about somebody had a very specific question. She said,
Is it true that when we're making dua, we're not supposed to say
inshallah? And I guess if you can touch upon the conviction aspect
and what that means and why that's important in making dua,
so part of a sign that you believe in Allah is that you are certain
Allah is going to answer you. Alma Mali, Allah, he used to say that
he's not worried about the DUA being answered. He's just worried
if his heart is going to be present enough. In dua, your jaw
will be answered. Inshallah, there's no doubt. Like you, don't
you, you will be answered. It's just about you asking with a
present enough heart, there's a difference. Like you make. I've
seen so many people do this. I'm sure all of us have done this. At
some point, you're like, someone like, you don't even know what you
said when you ran. So *. Like, if someone called, you know, look
at all that. And I'm like, what? Like, of course, Allah knows
exactly what you said, but you don't even know what you said. So
like, when you are sincerely going to Allah and you're making an he
is going to answer you. He is going to listen to you. There is
no doubt about that. So please today, make sure for me, my
family, make Rafa Melanie and her family, there is no doubt Allah
will answer here for you and for us, Inshallah, no doubt. But
we also have to have certainty. When you say Inshallah,
it's like, Oh Allah, if you will answer this job, Allah will, he
will answer that. Doha, there's no doubt he will answer the job the
Prophet sallallahu Salam taught us, Oh Allah, make jaw to Allah,
Wan Abu Java, and you are certain that he will answer you without
doubt. And I actually would love to tell you guys this story. Um, I
I've posted about it before, so I'm so sorry if you've read about
it, not that any of you have, because no one has ever heard of
me before. So you're like, Who's this random person? So I'm going
to tell you the story. So there we go. So basically, from *, I was
so blessed to be in Medina a few years ago, and I normally have
like, these really old cell phones. Like, you know, I don't
normally get
new cell phones. Um, I was so blessed with a gift of a new cell
phone. It was like a brand new iPhone, which is like, Oh, my God,
this is such a responsibility. What am I going to do with this?
Am I about to go on a trip? It was such a blessing. I was going to
take all these pictures. We were going to visit, you know,
relatives and Alhamdulillah, I had so many photos from Mecca and with
family, who are, you know, seeing like my, my, you know, loved ones.
And I had so many personal notes on there that I had taken on the
trip, and I had just had it for a week. I didn't back it up at all,
and we're in Medina, and we're leaving Medina, and I'm just like,
videotaping ahead. And then I had my phone on airplane mode because
I didn't have any data anyway, and we were about to get onto an
airplane, so I just put on airplane mode. I put the phone
next to me in a taxi. It's not an Uber just or a lift or anything. I
just put it down. And then we get to the airport. We get out, and I
walk into the airport and listen paddle and look at the
architecture of this airport. I wanted to get picture.
I left myself on in a taxi in Medina. I hope you ran out like,
Oh, my God, love the stat. Like, I've had this one for like, a
week. Like, this is why I always get old cell phones, because we're
losing in a week since that time, I have not lost a phone. Um, but
the point is that I am, like, freaking out, like I go out and
I'm in Medina, and I want to tell you guys something that, like,
obviously
a cell phone is important to our daily life, right? I probably most
of us spend a lot of our time doing our work, connecting with
people. So much comes from our cell phones, but it's not
someone's life. May Allah protect everyone. It's not like your you
know, provision for the rest of life, and may Allah protect
everyone. It's just a cell phone, but for me, it wasn't just this
phone. It had so much it had so many pictures that I was supposed
to send to so many family members, all I could think about was, like,
how much responsibility I have on this phone, and I lost it in a
week. So I'm out there in Medina outside the airport, and I'm
making dua, And subhanAllah as I'm making dua, I'm just begging,
Allah, and I'm thinking about every single one of these things,
like, oh, Allah, like I am a beggar at your doorstep. And I
know, I know that a cell phone is nothing, but you say, rahmeti
washe, and I'm the thing, your mercy overcomes everything, and
I'm the thing. And this is so.
Thing that means something to me. And Oh Allah, I know it's so
silly, but Oh Allah, you can answer all da. I mean, beta, like,
please. Am I gonna have certainty in you? And I pray to have, like
so much, so much certainty you're gonna answer this. And I'm praying
like every Hadith I can think of, every job. Oh Allah, you told me
what either anybody
would you able down? Buddy.
Oh, Allah. You told me that when you when, when servant calls upon
me, I answer I'm like, praying my heart out. And like, also when you
pray like this, especially for something like a cell phone add
and every other I should be making right now that I can't remember
answer it to make a general job like that, and also give me the
best of this life in the next, and also any draw for anyone who's
ever asked me to make for them answer it in this moment. So that
it's not just about your phone, it's about everything, especially
when you come with all that emotion. I'm like, There's no way
this draw isn't answered. I'm looking. I'm looking. No taxis are
coming up. I'm running from one person to another, like, Excuse
me, how do we get a hold of a taxi? And they're like, you don't
you just it's a taxi.
So get on my flight. I didn't have my phone. We get to Dubai. My
husband had brought a, like, an old phone so that we could put SIM
cards in them, because we're going to be in Dubai for a few days. So
he put a SIM card in mine, and he wasn't going to put one on his in
his but he just last minute, decided to when he text me from
his number, if he were to text me from a non Dubai number, his name
would come up with like, 700 emojis. There's no number there,
right? It's just his name, but he he texted, and then he said, Oh, I
accidentally texted your actual number. Let me text your duvet
number. So he text my debate number. I get the phone number
from a new phone number. That was confusing, but let's move forward.
Then a few hours later, his phone starts ringing, and I answer the
phone. It's from a number from Saudi Arabia. A sister on the
other line tells me I found your cell phone in a taxi in Medina,
and I want to know if I can get it to you. And in addition to the
fact that this sister is incredible and she was so
trustworthy to be able to do that, my phone, by then would have run
out of battery. It was locked. She couldn't have like put in the
numbers.
If she had seen his text message from his name, she wouldn't have
been able to get a number from it. And this is before that app that
you could like or whatever it is now the feature that you if you
have your lost cell phone, this is before all that she had to have,
like, plugged in my phone and, like, see him on the screen that
there's a new number coming in, that he called me from, on
accident, from a number that he wasn't supposed to get. And then
she was able to call me that way, and I'm just sitting there, like,
literally, my response to her was, Allah, Allahu, Akbar, then I'm
like, how am I gonna get my phone from Medina? I know in Dubai,
subhanAllah,
many of you have heard of Sheik Haseeb. Nur May Allah, bless ya
Khasi binur and raise his ranks. Follow him on Instagram. He is
just someone who just consistently brings barakah and Noor into your
life. And many of you have maybe heard of Sheik Ahmadu, may Allah,
that's someone who him and his wife have have done so much for
Dawa and just bringing so much more. May Allah bless both of
them. Subhanallah So Alhamdulillah that I was so blessed to know
people studying in Medina that they were able to meet this sister
in Medina, but now they have my phone, and at least it's someone I
know. But what am I going to do with getting it? I had a friend
who was going for Amra The following week, and she knew this
couple, so she meets them. They met in Mecca, SubhanAllah. My cell
phone is more righteous than me in every single way. MashAllah has
gone to all the holy places. So they meet and betca, they get my
cell phone, and she comes back to California with my phone, but she
also lives seven hours away from me. So how am I going to get it
the weekend she comes back the day after I'm invited to speak at a
conference in her city. So I go to her city, and this sister is with
my cellphone on my birthday, mashaAllah, and she gives me my
cellphone from Medina. I mean, if that doesn't show you how Allah
will bring the heavens and the earth together to answer your DUA.
That was my cellphone. Imagine when you're praying to Him because
of your Amen, because of your depression, because you're worried
about your child, because you care about your loved one. If that all
of that will come together for my ridiculous cellphone, then what
about Allah and your DUA to him from the depths of your heart and
your pain, he will answer you. There is no way he's not going to
answer you.
Lot of people had the same exact question, which is, how do I know
to just resign that this is called a
just to just to read these out. How many times do I pray over and
over again for the same da and when should I just realize it's
not going to happen? How do I determine if something is just not
meant for me after years of DA and effort? Yes, so Qadr is absolutely
impacted by your DUA. Yes. Allah pan knows our future, and he knows
what he has decreed for our lives. But even like the way that I think
is, I've heard when someone explain Qadr like this, and I
thought it made such a simple picture. When you think of someone
in the past, they use the example of Martin Luther King. If you
think of Martin Luther King, you can tell me generally his life
story, generally when he died, generally major events in his
life. If you've really studied about him in minor events. The
point is it doesn't mean that we impacted his life in any way. It
just means that we know what happened, because we came later.
So in that not the same way, because Allah's example is the
best. But think about what Allah, He knows our futures. He knows
everything that doesn't mean that we don't make free willed choices
we do. He just happens to already know the choices we're going to be
making. Adam, though can be changed, and even that is already
written with him. There are some that are is written with him, and
there are some that changes over in the time. So you can absolutely
impact your life by making dua and also by giving charity. Give
charity. It's a means of your life being filled with barakah and a
means of your life being extended. And if you cannot give my
financial charity, there's so many ways of giving charity with the
intention of helping someone, with the intention of smiling in
someone's face. There's so many ways you can give charity that
isn't actually money, but the point is that other can be changed
by your there is no
no loss in making dua, and it grapples with other so keep making
the DUA. Now, when do you know when to stop making dua for
something? So I would say to you that some issues are extremely
emotional. There are parts of your mental health. The more you think
about it, sometimes people come to me and they're like, I can't think
about it without like, like, crying hardcore. I don't feel like
I can function. I feel like I have no hope. If this is your
circumstance, that it's impacting your mental health to the point
that you can't even function, then you make dua, make a DUA, and say,
Oh, Allah. You know how much I've been making to offer this and how
much I want to but if I keep making to offer this right now,
then I don't know if I can, like, emotionally handle the next week
or emotionally handle the next year. So you you don't stop hoping
for that and praying for that, but you can call out to him and say,
instead, Rob Ben a Tina said, dunya hassana, wafirabi now, and
that's a dua that's in Surat Al Baqarah, oh, Allah. Give us the
best in this life and the next. And you, you can tell Allah that
part of that dua for you, you're intending is this particular dua
that you want to make, but you, but you're at a place where, like,
if you keep making the straw so emotionally you're afraid you're
going to have a breakdown. So if that's your situation, then
reassess your way of making dua. But if that's not your situation,
if you're not going to, like, have an emotional breakdown
consistently and be unable to function by making the straw,
because sometimes these are about very triggering issues. And so
yes, dua can absolutely help us process what we're triggered by
And subhanAllah, if you look at a mountain, like, if you look at if
you're going to climb a mountain, and we see these mountains in our
lives, if you're going to get over that mountain, like, Yes, you are
going to make dua to help you get over the mountain. You're going to
have a rope that you cling on to to, like, get over it. But you're
also going to our shoes, and you also need a pick, and you also
need a backpack with food in it. You need all these other support
and supplies so that that rope is that dura, that connection with
Allah to help you get through it. But you also need all this other
support, so maybe as you're going through therapy, reading the
Quran, reading the Sira, being with your friends, those are the
places that you can feel that emotional connection while making
a generalized dua, and then when you're ready, you can go back to
the hardcore, serious, personalized dua. If that's not
your circumstance, then make dua forever for the same thing.
There's no point that you need to say, I need to let go of this dua.
But what you could do is recognize that maybe Allah hasn't willed for
this dua for me to come true right now, or maybe in my life. And so
instead, you could say, Oh Allah, you're asking for this dua. But
what I always recommend for any dua that you make is you say, Oh
Allah, if it's good for me, because he can't answer you, He
will answer you. And sometimes you might want that so badly, but then
after a year, you're like, that wasn't good for me, and I begged
so hard.
Right, but I should have trusted in Allah, and that's okay. We, you
know, it's human, it's we all make mistakes, and so we don't know
what's best for us. We just think this is best for us. And sometimes
that's what happens. We're like, oh, Allah really knows better, so
always include in your DUA if it's best, give me this if it's best,
and if it's not give me better, if it's not give me better. And
that's why istikhara is so beautiful. Because istikhara
Subhanallah, it's putting your trust in Allah has decreed, and
that your decision, Inshallah, no matter what you decide with,
istikhara is the right one, and asking for contentment in it, and
you ask for something better in the process. So don't give up on
your job, even if it's been years I've made dua for 10 years for
something before it came true, for eight years before it came true.
And I'm in the process of making more JAAS that I haven't seen
answered yet, and it's been years, but as long as it's not impacting
your mental health to the point that you can't function, keep
making that dua. Ask Allah to Allah to give you better than what
you asked for. Ask him to bless you with it if it's good for you,
and know that he will give you better than what you ask. So pray
for that dura and say, Oh, Allah, should be better than everything
that I'm asking. And also, again, if you think that it's going to
impact your mental health, then make a generalized dura. Don't
give up on making the drive, but just make a more generalized drive
that you can handle in the moment. And Allah truly knows best. These
are just some reflections that I'm giving from.
I think a lot of a lot of times, when we look at books of Islamic
history and classical Islamic works, they address so many
incredible issues. And then we look at our reality and what
people are going through right now. And so we look at that and we
say, okay, like this is the reality we're going through. We're
going to merge this with our understanding what scholars in the
past have had. So you yourself that might change for you over
time, and you just reassess what it does, and then at that point,
you just shift your job at that point, inshallah.
Inshallah, that's such great, great advice. Keep making job for
that thing as long as you can.
That's amazing. And I know we're running a little short on time, so
I just have one final question. Then hopefully you can close this
out with a beautiful da,
um. But the final question is just, you know, we know that there
are certain times that are actually really great times to
make dua, and if you could expound on that, so anytime is a good time
to make dua, and then there are certain times that are even more
blessed. Um Hamdulillah, Ramadan. Ramadan is an amazing hand to make
dua, especially when you're fasting in the moment of Iftar,
when you're going to break your fast before Fajr comes in that
last part of the night. All those penalties, Allah is waiting for
people to ask for forgiveness and make dua. So he will answer when
you go into sujood, when you when you say you're at tahiyat that,
hey, a toilet that part of your
sola right after that, if you make dua, that's a time of your job
being accepted. Um, between the event and the ikama, what I would
suggest right now, and this is totally me making this up, but
obviously we're not going into our masajid, and many of us don't
actively have the opportunity to go to go to many Masjid because
they're closed for us, or for so many other reasons we love us,
ARMA, and so you could have someone or yourself make
listen to an event put on that in your home, making a comma, and
hope that Allah will accept that from you. Totally making that up.
I'm not taking that from a self book. I should have taken that
from a self book before answering it. Ignore that. Inshallah, I will
do the research. And then come back to you with that. When it's
raining, there are so many times when you're traveling, when you're
sick, literally, Allah swt is literally like, Oh, do you need
something? Because all the doors are open for God, and he answered,
and then, oh, you want even more. Here's even more. You just can't
lose. Just make dot all the time, every time, every single moment,
and then in those moments, specifically, it's just an extra
time, inshallah when your DUA is answered, And subhanAllah when you
look at zakiriya. Alaihi salam, zakiri. Alaihi salam, he made for
a child. He's a prophet of God. His wife was barren and he was
older. So, I mean, I don't know how many years prayed for a child,
but he didn't give up. Alayhi salam, I mean, we're talking about
a wife who can never have the baby, a mother can a woman who can
never have a baby, and a husband who calls out in his dua, the
prophet. Alayhi salam, his bones are feeble, and his wife has his
hair has turned white.
Subhanallah, this is an elder person. And alayhi salam a prophet
of God, and he never gave up in his dua. So make dua all the
times. Make da and all of the times. And Inshallah, your DUA
will be answered in the best way at the best time. And please make
the offer me and Melanie and our families too. Inshallah, one last
question, actually, because this is one that actually come up? Came
up a ton, particularly for those who are converts, who aren't
native Arabic speakers. The differences in language. Can I
just make da in English? Is it so important that I memorize some
dots in Arabic? If you can touch on that, I think it'd be really
helpful, because that's such an important question. I totally
understand your question. I'm not Arab, and most of my.
Members are converts, and so I totally, completely understand
where you're coming from. So that me that you brought it up, you do
not need to make dua in Arabic. There are DAWs of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi was some of them are da in the Quran that are so
beautiful that you can memorize, if you want to, you can even
memorize the translation of that. But really, dua is a conversation
with Allah from your heart. So you will call out to him however you
can, in whatever language you can. And he Subhana wa taala. Of
course, he knows every language. Obviously he can understand
everything you say, but also it's what's coming from your heart. If
you're going to say you've memorized, but you don't know what
you're saying, and it feels foreign. And that's beautiful to
practice with that. But it's not an obligation. It's not a
necessity. And if anything, if you can call out with its sincerity,
with words that mean something to you, not only Inshallah, will you
feel more healed and closer to Allah, but Allah hears and sees
the sincerity that comes from your
heart. SHA, Allah,
amazing. Thank you, would you like to close out with a job?
Can you hear me?
Oh,
would you like to close us out with a dog?
Okay, yes. So if you can, I would recommend you face the pidla, put
up your hands, of course. If you can,
Oh Allah, thank you, Ya Allah, for all that you have blessed us with.
Ya Rakul ham ducamo, yanbaridi, Jalali, WA Ji, Kewa Ali multanik,
I can never thank
you in our lives, Allah, thank you, Ya Allah, for the blessings
that you have given us in our lives. Oh.
As you are witnessing us gathering here right now, ya, Allah, Allah,
gather us into the highest paradise. The lady, he said, what
I said,
Oh, Allah, gather us into fear. Dos Allah, not just us who are
present, Yara, but every single person that we love. Ya Rabbi
Allah, every single person here right now. Ya Allah, we all have
needs in our hearts. Ya Allah, so many dua that we make to you, Ya
Allah, you hear us calling to you, Ya Allah, you hear our calls to
you, and you know the needs of our hearts, Ya Allah, please don't let
any single one of us leave this moment, except every single need
of our heart is answered. Ya Rabbi alamin ano Allah answer it with
more than we ask for ya rab, Alami Allah Hamma answer the needs of
every single one of our hearts, and even more than we ask for Ya
Allah, and not just for us, ya rab, but every single person that
we love, Ya Rabbi, la Alameen, Allah, any person who comes to you
asking of you, ya rab, allahuma, answer our dua was better than me
ask it. Ya Rameen Allah, anyone whom we love, who is secure them
immediately and completely. Ya Rami, a miraculous cure that
doesn't have any sickness after Ya Allah, Allahu, any single one of
us who is struggling with anything, Oh Allah, ease it for
us. Put barakah in our lives and change it. Ya Rabbi Allah, change
your anamin Allah. Bless us with better than we ask for ya rab, Oh
Allah, help our ummah. Allah, help Allah. Vulnerable. Ya Allah,
Allah, Alami, Allah, be with this ummah who is suffering so much. Ya
Allah, Allah, have mercy on this ummah. Ya Allah, Allah, have mercy
on our ummah. Oh Allah, so many of us have lost loved ones whom we
love and Ya Allah, you know our pain with them. Ya Allah, we
entrust you with their ahi Rabb, and we ask you to give them the
highest paradise, Allah,
Allah, in this Ramadan. Let us leave this Ramadan completely
forgiven, or raised ring our ranks raised with you and entered into
the highest paradise. Milady robilfield, Muslim at one meaning,
one, what in a KR of Binna semi on corribon,
Mojito, robbicano, habina Muhammad, wala Abu Asmaa, I mean,
and
just to end with subpoena to love home, we have the commission on
that. ILAHA, Ik, thank you so much. Mariam, this was so
beautiful. Thank you so much. I'm so honored that you invited me.
Thank you. And thank you so much for the questions. And thank you
everyone for.