Maryam Amir – Spiritual Abuse

As a community culture, we sometimes prioritize protecting

the abuser or the predator over the victim, and in this context,

I'm referring to men who are in positions of religious leadership,

who have financially, physically or sexually preyed upon women and

children and men. What does the current culture that we have look

like? It looks like making excuses for a predator or an abuser and

saying hiding sins is more important than protecting other

victims, it looks like being warned and even having evidence of

a religious leader's predatory behavior, and yet they're still

invited lectures at a conference. Looks like asking questions like,

Why did you meet him in the first place instead of full stop

statement? * is in no circumstances ever acceptable. How

do we change that culture to reflect the objectives of Islamic

law? We work with the victims to bring criminal charges, no

invitations and no leadership, and Masjid boards. Just because

someone has repented doesn't mean that the harm that they have done

is gone. It can go through professional rehabilitation and

take roles outside of religious leadership. We need every single

Masjid to hire women religious scholars. We need to create a

national system of accountability like USADA. Shazia Ahmed has

called for Imams and religious leaders go through training to

become licensed funding restorative justice in Islamic

history, the Imam was the one who led prayers and taught knowledge.

They were not the one who was the lawyer, the marriage counselor,

the therapist. We need to fund in our communities professionals and

create normative systems work through restorative justice, de

platforming the predator, the clear message that we have a zero

tolerance policy for predators. Any woman say that they don't

trust any men in religious leadership. And I understand where

that comes from. It comes from a place of immense pain, but we

truly have incredible Imams, imams I work with every week, and Dr

Rania Awad, who is a scholar and also the director of the Stanford

Muslim mental health lab, it's about how the majority of Imams

truly are invested betterment of their communities. Queens, I want

you to identify your power. There are situations that are outright

cases. For example, if a religious leader slides into your DMS and

talks about how your Noor is brighter than any other woman's

block him, screenshot it if you feel safe and like you could be

heard. Take it to the masjid leadership, who oversee the

employment of said religious leader, who should then threaten

determination and dismissal from his position, because no man in a

space of religious authority who is implicitly trusted due to his

position has an excuse to come at woman that way. Revivers should

never have to decide to publicize all of the abuse that they've

experienced simply so that our community would listen and protect

other women. In fiqh, there is a maxim that harm should be removed.

This derived from a statement of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be

upon him. Be neither harming nor reciprocating harm. The example of

the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. When a woman came to him

who was raped in Medina, he didn't ask her what she was doing out or

what she was wearing. He took action.