Maryam Amir – Quran Recitation, Healing from Trauma, Serving People w Ustada Aishah Adams
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AI: Transcript ©
Subhanallah Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, subhanAllah Alhamdulillah,
wa la ilaha, illallah, Allahu Akbar, subhanAllah Alhamdulillah,
Allah ILAHA, illallah, Allahu Akbar, subhanAllah Alhamdulillah,
Allah ILAHA, illallahu Akbar, Allahu alayhi wa sallam. Muhammad,
Allah musna, Muhammad, Allah, musama, Nabi no Habib, Muhammad,
Allah Ali kusala Ketu, Allah, musalia, Muhammad, Allah,
Muhammad, Walid, Musallam, Muhammad Sumaya, Allah, Salaman,
Turkey Allah, Salaman, Allah, Allah Alikum, salaam alaikum,
walikum, salaam alaikum, saliva, Ketu Allah, musalia, salimana, you
know Habib, you know Muhammad. The
UAE, Allah Muhammad, Allah Navina, habina, Muhammad,
Allah Abu asmaara Ketu from Morocco, Allah Abu, Indonesia.
MashaAllah from the UK. Masha Allah, Oh from the UK. Know who
you are. It's so good to see you from India. From Morocco again.
Mashallah, welcome, oh Alhamdulillah. We have our
esteemed guest right now
too.
Mashallah, I don't know what that is, so cool. I'm from France,
Malaysia. May all of us, all of you, assalamu. Alaikum.
How? Are you? It's such an honor to see you as that. Aisha,
Alhamdulillah, I'm fine. Alhamdulillah, how are you?
Alhamdulillah, doing well. I am so excited and grateful and honored
to have you with us today.
I'm also excited. Let
me just introduce you to some other we have a super Masha Allah,
honored guest today with us. We have usted Aisha Adams, masha
Allah, she is someone who has a bachelor's in Islamic Studies.
Masha Allah, she's an USADA. She has founded an institute which is
works with women. She is a coach. Masha Allah and Masha Allah for
anniversary, reciter from Nigeria and inshallah. Today, we're going
to hear about her journey to the Quran, her journey to Islamic
Studies. Hear her recitation inshallah. Do a joint recitation.
Hear her reflections on the Quran. So sad. Aisha, can you start by
telling us about your journey to the Quran? Why did you start
Quran? Why did you start Islamic Studies? Tell us about your life.
Alhamdulillah,
for having me here. I'm truly, truly honored. Um, when
I started out my journey, I didn't think it would end. It will bring
me here. Hanula, what? So I started my journey back. Ehm 2005
Yes, it was my friend's wedding. So at the time, I wasn't even
wearing the hijab. And in Nigeria back then, well, wearing the hijab
seemed like, oh, you needed to really be spiritual. And the
reason was because at that time, most people were in the hijab.
Used to struggle to get jobs. So like, when you finish uni or
anything like that, and you really wanted to work and stuff, it was
really hard. And so many parents back then didn't really encourage
their children to wear the hijab. So they'll be like, oh, you know,
you can just tie a scarf and just be moderate to their idea of
moderate Islam in court was just Thai stuff.
But then I had a couple of friends, you know. And I think
that it just reminds me of the hadith of Nabi sal Allahu alasan
that says that, you know, the company you keep is just like the
bellow blower and the one who is selling perfume. And so when you
make friends with people who are selling perfume, who have the
dean, the likelihood of growing is really high. And then even in
psychology, ehm, psychology says that you know you are a product of
the five people you are constantly around. And so that was what
happened to me, because the people that I met when I got into uni.
Then were people that, Alhamdulillah, they were working
towards being upright in their Deen. And so I remember it was my
friend's wedding. Um, in fact, it was in the month of February,
Allah, Akbar, walahi, exactly, Wallahi. It's exactly 16 years
since I picked up the hijab in.
The olahi It was so it was just a coincidence that it was February
12, my friend's wedding. I went for the wedding. I went some days
before the wedding, and they were getting ready for some, you know,
celebration with the sisters and stuff like that. And she would
just like, you know, I went with my sister, my elder sister, and my
eldest sister, at the time, was the only one wearing the hijab in
my family, and
so she was like, Oh, why aren't you wearing the hijab yet? And I'm
like, I just give them all kinds of excuses. Well, Wallahi, I knew
it was excuses. But you know, when you just want to get get them off
your back, like, just stop disturbing me. I just, I always
said things like, may Allah, make it easy. Olahi. I didn't really
mean it
aspect, but, you know, I I need to say this because there are so many
people, you know, the there are people who are watching on there
are people who still watch that will probably say that they want
to do something of the deen, when, in truth, in their heart, they
don't really want to do it, because they are not yet ready.
Their heart is not ready to get into that space. And they say, you
know, so it's like, oh, when people say, Why are you into doing
this? You just say, Oh, I, I'm I wish I could. You know, it's just
a struggle, but it's just on the lips, kind of, LA, because in your
heart, you know that you are not ready to give up that life, that
you have lived that enjoyment, what seems like enjoyment, but
Wallahi, Wallahi, alabi, vikri lahita, you will be amazed at how
much tranquility you would feel When you start to move closer
towards the Quran, towards the krulla, ILAHA, Illa, even in times
of difficulties, in times of chaos, you will find the Sakina.
You wouldn't find it from somewhere. And you will just be
like, you'll be wondering, like, how am I able to stay calm and and
it makes me think about my life and the things that I have been
through from that time till now, and the many relations that Allah
put me through, Alhamdulillah, and he gave me the Myanmar to come out
of them with my Deen intact. There was the time I shared my story. I
shared some parts of my story, and his sister sent me a message, and
she said, How are you still wearing the hijab? And I swelled,
because
conviction is a gift from Allah
to everyone of us who is willing, that's the word, who is willing to
accept the gift, yes, the gift of Islam has been given to us. The
gift of the Quran has been given to us.
It has been given to us way before we were even born. Most of us who
are on earth right now. And this gift of Quran, some people had to
shed their blood, yeah, to hold up La Ilaha, Illallah and Allah, yes.
People had to shed their blood so that you and I can see ILAHA
Illuma, so that you and I can sit in this space right now and have
this kind of discussion about the Quran. And so for me, it's like, I
think the wake up call I got on that day was I should stop
deceiving yourself. The reason why you are not wearing the hijab is
not because you do not know that it is right. It is not because you
have not come across the verses of the Quran that says it is right.
It is because you are not willing to submit your soul to Allah
completely. Mm, completely.
Completely is the word. Because, you know, when we come into Islam,
we should come into Islam wholeheartedly, hm,
and coming into Islam wholeheartedly gives you this
callable selling, you know, it gives you this pan Allah. It's
just an, I think when you experience it, it's better
experienced, like, what can really explain how much you know, Sakina,
you get from just really embracing Islam and just and I think before
then, I had been reading books and had been sort of preparing myself
for the journey ahead of me, because I knew in my heart that
the hijab was right. I knew my heart that, you know, completely
entering into Islam was right. But I guess I was just too, you know,
Allah says, Bucha hawati, Mina nisawal, banina walumo, authority,
well, an hayatu, dunya, and so, I think what it was then was that
verse, where I was, I was, you know, the the trappings of the
world was, it was just distracting me from the more serious things,
the things that needed, and the fact that Wallahi, even if you
were to worship Allah in the way he has asked, he will not take
away anything from your enjoyment of the dunya. In fact, you would
enjoy the dunya even more true. And this is what I have come to
see now, Alhamdulillah. And so when I picked up the hijab, the
next thing for.
Was Quran, because I started to feel shy of the fact that I
couldn't recite the Quran properly at that time, and so I knew some
verses of the Quran. I knew a lot of it in English, because
my journey towards the Quran actually started before I took my
Islam seriously. It started because I had a lot of non Muslim
friends, and they'll go like, Oh, Aisha, soon going to become a
Christian, and I'll be like, No, not possible.
And even though I knew that Islam was the truth, I couldn't really
bring myself to that. I had a few doubts, I must be honest, or I had
a few doubts. And the doubts work from, you know, the fact that I
was in a Christian dominated area, and most of friends that I was
keeping initially were people who would go, Oh, you know, if you
don't accept, you know, Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you perish,
and things like that. You know, they'll go down that line.
And I did not know the truth, because I had not really. I read
the Arabic, but that was it. I really did not sit down to read
the English Quran and even some doing Ramadan. I'll pick it up
sometimes. I never really sat down. So my wake up call, the
first one came in 2003
I had a health crisis. It just came up and I needed immediate
surgery. So when I was going into surgery, I made the art Allah, and
I said, Oh Allah, please keep my keep me. If you, if you give me,
you know, the leads of life, I promise to to serve you better and
to worship you better. So when I came out of that experience, I
started observing my sola. I
started observing my color, and then I started reading the English
Quran.
And then Ramadan, 2004 came,
and Allah guided me to these verses in Surah to Nisa,
from verses 150 to the end.
And that was the day. It was that day in Ramadan. I knew it was the
last 10 days of Ramadan that I actually became a true Muslim,
because that was when I got the conviction that Islam was the
truth.
Yeah, because I remember, I remember, I remember when it was,
because I it was, I had sort of sat with a reciter. I sat with
them. I had those, you know, those caves back then. Those.
Had Allah. I had the one for Sheik,
today's, today's and Shirin. So I had the whole cassette. And so
what I did that Ramadan, even though I couldn't recite properly,
was sitting my Quran, the Arabic Quran, and just follow the
reciter. And I did that. And I said to myself, I was going to
read it till the end. So I did that till the end of Ramadan. So
when Ramadan ended, I had finished the Quran with the reciter, but
obviously I couldn't read the Quran properly. So I then sat with
the English Quran and started reading it from the beginning. So
I know I finished the Arabic on the 20th day of Ramadan. And so on
the 21st of Ramadan. So the day that the conviction came that
Islam was the truth was between the 21st and the 25th
Yeah, Alhamdulillah. So that was the year 2004 I can't forget
Hannah the Ramadan came. I think in December there about So
afterwards, I had then become more convinced. So I think it became
easier to pick up the hijab in 2005 February. And then
afterwards, it was just like, I was just like, Okay, since the
conviction to become a better Muslim came from me finding the
words in the Quran, we all lasted that Jesus, the son of Mary, was
not crucified
barafa, Allahu Ali. And I was just like, Okay, this is it
Alhamdulillah. And then the verses towards the end of swatunisa,
where Allah says that desist from saying three in one, yeah. And I
was just like, Alhamdulillah. End of discussion. This is it upon the
hack, Alhamdulillah. And so the only thing that made sense was for
me to become a better Muslim. And the only thing that made sense was
to connect to the Quran. Fortunately for me, I had this
friend, Fatima, and I asked Allah to increase help and goodness, and
I asked Allah to elevate her status and make her Muslim say,
and upon her, she was the one at that time who I knew. She was the
only sister I knew who was actively taking her Quran
seriously. She was so passionate about learning the Quran and all
of that, and so I reached out to her, and I was like, I want to
start. I want to recite the Quran better. I don't like the way I
read the Quran. And I just realized that, you know,
subhanAllah, I have grown in my Deen, and I should naturally grow
and become more connected to reading the Quran. So she referred
me to a teacher, um, her name was Fatima ASO. So sister Fatima was
my first Quran teacher who taught me third grade. And that was 2005
Yeah, so between 2005 and 2007
I studied with Sister Fatima isho. And so I.
The Quran from her, um, I learned the TED read from her, and the
moment I learned, I think it just became easier, Alhamdulillah,
because, well, I was now able to read the Quran by myself. But then
my dad played a role. Because what happened was, so now I picked up
the hijab. Now my dad is like, Okay, well, your elder sister, who
wears the hijab as well, became more attached to the Quran. You
can't read the Quran. I am going to set a date for you. By that
date, we're going to have, like a celebration to say that you have
learnt the Quran.
I don't know how to read this Quran. What's going to happen? So
my dad set a date that was just three months away from the day I
was having that discussion with him, just three months
Wallahi, three months. And do you know what used to happen? So I was
in uni. I was in my third year, and so what? What will happen?
I'll go to the masjid and I'll go look at so I spoke to some
sisters, and I was like, please, I need you to help me, you know,
improve my recitation of the Quran. I don't like the way I
read. I don't read Ted. Read that. And I'm like, I want to improve
this. I really need your help.
And they used, and well, I hear that I have a good voice.
Alhamdulillah. So I think that was for me. Was like, How can I not
use what Allah has gifted me with to read his book? If there is
anything that I should read with, the voice that ALLAH blessed me
with, is the Quran. And every time I heard his soulful recitation, he
used to touch my soul, and I just used to be like, ah, yeah, Allah,
make it easy for me to be able to recite the Quran, you know, in
such a way and all of that. But obviously I was not going to get
to that point without making efforts on my own. So whenever I
went to the masjid and I'll ask sisters, Oh, please, could you
teach me the Quran, they'll say they'll give me an appointment and
they'll miss, and they'll give me an appointment and they'll miss,
and yeah, and so it was one and a half months to the day that my dad
had set and my dad had sent out invitations. Look,
invitations. So I think because he knew that I was a very determined
person, right? He just naturally assumed that I've told her, she's
agreed she's working on it. So I'm, you know, when we don't ask
me, how are you how is it coming along, I'll be like, I'm working
on it, which I was, but it just hadn't translated into what I
really wanted. So what I did and Allah is sufficient for me as a
witness. This is true story. I actually made the art of Allah. I
started making dua, and I used to say that, Ya Allah, you taught the
Quran to the NABI Salu, an unlettered prophet,
a man who didn't know how to read and write. I know how to read and
write, and I cannot read your Quran, yeah. Well, open my breast
to learning this Quran
that is so beautiful.
And I used to make this dua on my sujood every time Wallah, I will
make this dua. And then, you know what I did, I picked up the Quran.
So I had learnt how to, you know, spell like So Ali, Pata, ah,
dausukun, ad and all of that. And so I started spelling, and that
was how I learnt to read the Quran. No way. And I read.
Allah taught me the Quran. That's what that's that's the only thing
I can say,
Allah taught me the Quran, and that was how I learnt how to read
the Quran.
And I read this three times before the end of that period, my dad set
and on the day that I was supposed to read, I was able to read. In
fact, I wasn't only able to read. I had learnt the
the opening statement. So in Alhamdulillah, I learned that, in
fact, so the day I was supposed to recite, I went in like I was
giving a lecture, and
I was able to read the Quran in such a, you know, in with such,
you know, confidence and Alhamdulillah. And so afterwards,
it was like, Oh, you just have to improve yourself. And athamil, I
have been able to study under several teachers. You know, I have
learned Ted read from, I think, five different teachers at
hamdila. And I'm always open to learning the TED read again and
again, like just improving what I have learnt. Because you get
better practice, get better. And, you know, sometimes you work with
this teacher, and she tells you, oh, masha Allah, your Kiro is
Jamil, da, da, da. But you go and listen to another teacher, and the
teacher is more thorough than your previous teacher, and you'll still
find that you need to improve some things. Yes, you know, and, and so
I'm constantly, you know, taking, you know, Quran classes with
different and at the moment, I'm studying with
marujan Institute, where the number of her fathers and people
with ijaza, and you study with them, you just learn the Quran,
tefsu and all those kind of things. So I'm constantly actively
learning the Quran. And for me, it was that when I came into
understanding being better, one of the things that I saw.
In Nigeria was that there were so many of us that wore the hijab,
but the Dawah was not as strong as the Dawah of the people of kofor.
Oh, wow. And yes. And what? What it was was that,
because I had had exposure to the people of kofor before. Now, I
sort of compared how they were very, you know, in your face with
their Dawa hm. And I thought to myself, these people are upon
dola, and they have dolala In your face, right? I am upon the hack,
and I am being apologetic about who I am. I am apologetic about,
you know, talking about my Deen, because I don't want them to say
that I'm a religious fanatic. No, I am not going to be silent. And
so I think I not only came into ehm practicing the Dean better, I
also came into taking a stance that I was going to be a dying
year, and not just with what I said, but more importantly, with
what I did as no
and so that is part of why I do the many things that I do in
Nigeria, one of which is sidiko Ehm. And sidiko actually has ehm,
like two arms. We have silico Foundation, and that foundation
caters to ehm deprived communities. So we work with
deprived communities, people that are really poor, extreme poverty,
like people who cannot eat, like they literally cannot feed their
families. And so we have something we call the street kitchen. And
the street kitchen is like a mobile kitchen, where we take food
to different deprived communities, we take it to their location, and
we cook with them in such a way that they feel like a part of the
community. Yeah? So they don't feel like we are bringing food to
them. They feel like we are doing stuff with them, you know?
Nah.
And so for me, it was us showing the people in our communities that
the Muslims are upright, the Muslims are kind. This is Islam,
you know. And and sometimes you get people like, oh, I want to
volunteer. And I'm like, Yeah, you can even if you're a non Muslim.
And one of the things we often emphasize is that we because the
verses that inspired this is the verse in Suratul in San where
Allah says, Let me just read
from the most half inshallah
Suratul in San, that is Quran Chapter
76
and Allah says
To you, Jimmy, why you boring? Why you boring? Was
shru
Um, wala shukura
In Nala, ho Fumi, Robin, Rebus and OM,
Kodi, Niro, Bawa, Om, wo Hus, wala O.
Oh,
it's beautiful, just like for your recitation, mashallah, you have
such a strong voice, Mashallah.
And in this verses, Allah says,
and they give, why you
they love what they are giving. So we give food, despite our love for
it. So it's not like, oh, I don't like eating. I just want to give
out food and all of that I am giving despite my love for it, for
myself and my family.
And we give to the orphan, we give to the poor, we give to the
captive, we give to people that are in need of it. And more
importantly, la noido minkum in nema anoin facot, that's it. La no
merido minkum, jeza and wala shokuro. So the way we do the
street kitchen is like, I go to places where nobody knows me, like
they don't know us. We just go to that community and we say we are
here.
Just show you love and revive hope. That's it.
And when we come to that community, we just set up and we
just show kindness to them. We share knowledge with them,
knowledge on how they can improve their livelihood and become like
come out of poverty. We share with them food for that day, so you
don't need to worry about your food for today, even if you've
been worried about it all all along. And we just revive hope.
You know, just imagine that you're walking on the on the road on a
very hot summer day, and you don't have money in your pocket, and you
just made the art Allah, and as you're walking down, someone just
talks you and says, Get take this pack of food and water. What would
it do for you? How will they inspire you to stay hopeful in
Allah's promises? Like you just made dua, and, you know, that's
it, someone just comes, and the person is an answer to your DUA,
Allahu.
Akbar, Allahu. Akbar, Subhan,
Allah. And so that was the inspiration. This verse is like,
we don't need it. We don't want you to wake up tomorrow and be
able to say, oh, that's the house of the sister who gave me food.
No, I don't want you to know where I can. So we go to different
communities, like we've traveled out of Lagos. I live in Lagos in
Nigeria, but we've gone to different communities in Nigeria,
far and wide, just to continue to spread this love and to let people
know. And think about it, I wear the hijab, and I am unapologetic
above my way in the hijab. And Alhamdulillah, a lot of people who
are even non Muslims have come to notice this project. And so we are
doing Dawa olahi. We are doing dawah, yes, because I have a 90%
volunteer base of Muslims, 90%
so just think about it. We are out and we're sharing and we're
wearing the hijab, and we are representing Islam in the way that
it is supposed to be represented in this country. And you, you
recited such powerful, beautiful verses with such beautiful
recitation, masha Allah, about
the message of the Quran. SubhanAllah.
That's
so beautiful, masha
Allah. So basically, this is, this is me, and the the journey
continues. I'm, I'm, I'm hoping that I will be able to help many
people you know, become attached to the Quran, because the Quran is
life, everything that you need to live in the life of this world.
See, I have gone through a lot of tests in since I started
practicing the dean. And I'm just going to share one that is
something that I guess a lot of women you know go through. I have
lost. I have had several miscarriages. You probably have
seen to my page before. I had nine miscarriages, and one of those
miscarriages was in my second trimester.
I have three children, Alhamdulillah, but before I had
the first child, I had 6123456,
over a period of four years. Alhamdulillah,
and I tell you that the words of the Quran is what got me through
every one of those trials.
The day that I knew to thank Allah
was the day that after I had the six miscarriages in one marriage,
and then I got divorced from that man and then remarried. That was
the day I got divorced Wallahi. I did saja. Why
I did saja? To shukur That day, because I then understood Allah's
plans.
Allah says, wamakuru. Wamakuru. Plans
are the best and Subhan, Allah
Wa, I said, anti WA,
I said unto Hebrew, Shayan, wah Shah, Rula, walahu, ya alata,
Alamo WA, that sometimes you hate some things and he needs a lot of
care for you,
and sometimes you love some things, and he needs is a lot of
evil for you.
And Allah knows that which is best, yes.
And when Allah tests us, we we will, we cry, we complain, not
knowing that that test is moving you towards a place of goodness.
If you are patient, if
you are patient, if you hold on to the rope of Allah, if
you understand that the One who created you loves you, and that
what he has decreed for you is best for you at that time,
subhanAllah,
yes,
I was able to do said, get to shukuru because.
Is pan Allah. I just realized I was like Allah. Allah was it was a
favor from Allah that I didn't have those children in that
marriage, because the way that I was able to get through the
divorce came from a place of Alhamdulillah. I don't have any
connection with him anymore. I can move on. So it was so easy for me
healing and moving on from that marriage was easy because that
nothing tied me to that marriage.
Nothing tied me to that marriage, but through the trial, I remember,
you know, in 2008 I had, I went for ummura, because that that I
went for Umrah shortly after the fifth miscarriage. And that
miscarriage La Ilaha, it was, Oh, my God. It was very traumatic for
me, because, you know, I thought, Oh, I was over the I had gone past
the, you know, the period of scare and all of that I was already
settled into. I was already growing bigger, you know, handler,
and it just started suddenly, you know, I just started spotting, and
I was like, Okay, I just kept making dua. I'm just hoping. And
you know, the day that I was going to lose the child, I bled for
hours. And you know what was interesting? And that's why, you
know, I just know that if there's something I have learnt from my
life experiences, that Allah does what He wills, and he does it when
it is best and it you just need to hold on to him and just trust in
his plans. Because that day, we called the doctor, and he said,
You cannot move. I am coming over. Guess what? Because Allah had
died, I was going to suffer that loss. You know? What happened?
What happened was that
the doctor got stopped on his way to my house. Yeah, he was a
kilometers away from my house, and he got stopped
and he wasn't able to get to my house until I had lost The child.
Hello. Akbar,
hello, Akbar and
SubhanAllah.
Subhanallah, how? Think something
happened
with the Internet. Subhanallah,
oh SubhanAllah.
She was in such a powerful, powerful moment of her incredibly
powerful journey. Let's just Inshallah, wait for her to get
back on inshallah.
For those of you who asked, thank you so much for sharing. Oh,
Bismillah. Alhamdulillah, she's back
nowadays.
Sorry, I was just telling you were saying that, and then you lost the
baby. And then you were telling,
and he was, you know, Allah had decreed that I was going to lose
the baby, because by the time the doctor got the doctor got to my
house just after I had just pushed out the baby.
So what I learned from that, and, like, I said, I didn't you all
that it was so traumatic for me. I was like, Okay, no, I have to go
for Omura. I need to go and ask Allah da, da, you know, I get
there and I meet dawn, I was like, I cried to Allah, cried, cried,
cried, and, you know, I came back over. I'm like, Okay, I'm doing
that. And by the time I got back, I thought that
I was, you know, I was like, I was clear, you know, I can go on and
have me do Allah, but SubhanAllah. What happened was that afterwards,
there was another one, another miscarriage. Oh, and so I just
said, You know what? Okay, we'll wait whenever Allah decreased.
Like, I cannot do anything about this. I've done my best and all of
that. May Allah, bless you. May Allah,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
but later on, when I when I reflected, I was like, You know
what, Allah did me a favor. So there might be a sister going
through whatever trial it is you're going through. It might be
that you have gotten divorced from your husband. It could be that
you've lost a child, it could be that you've had miscarriages, it
could be any trial, like you have emotional trauma, you are in a
troubled marriage,
call on Allah and have no doubts that Allah would accept your door,
because Allah says, waiver, sir, let.
Ibadi and NIFA in the ujibuda water da and Ibadan, Allah says,
When my slave asks you about me, tell him.
Tell him that in the orib like, tell that slave. And Allah says,
uses the word there. He says, you know, salaka ibadi,
like he's personalizing like my slave,
and like he's not just saying in my slave, he's saying like you are
Isha, you, Fatima, you, you know Maria, you, you my slave that is
asking me, I am close to you, and I hear you, and your DUA has been
accepted.
It's a guarantee, and the fact that your DUAs are in being
delayed
does not mean that your DUA has not been accepted. Yeah, because
his dealings are not denials. So important, so important.
But what it is is that he delays you just so that you can get it at
the right time when it is best,
and even when you have kids in one marriage, and then you have to get
the lost and move to the other marriage. Know that Allah brought
forth your children from the best place, from the place where they
would, you know, he brought it from the lines of the one with
whom that child will be from the most righteous of slaves.
But it takes us journeying, you know, having a relationship with
the Quran, because Wallahi, my relationship with the Quran,
served me throughout my trials. Wallahi, you know. And there was
one that I really wanted to share when I thought about my
reflection, I was actually going to share my reflection of strata
Doha, because now think about it, so I get married again, and then I
I got divorced again.
Now this time, I had a child, the child that I had sought for for so
long. I finally had her, and then I was happy, and then I went to
divorce, and then I appreciated the fact that I did not have kids
in that previous marriage more than I ever appreciated
because I came to understand the turmoil, the traumatic experience
a woman can have when she has been divorced before and then she gets
divorced again with A child. I also got to feel how a person
would feel when they are forced,
when they are forced, to confront
an issue they never thought would happen to them, like I was very
soft, sought after before I got married, I was having a session
someday, I was speaking at an event, and I said that I actually
had nine proposals when I was getting married, 912-345-6789,
like, people wanted to marry me. And then, you know, when you come
from that place, and then you are like, how did I get here? How did
I get here? How did I move from being that person who was, you
know, in Nigeria, they'll say she was hot cake,
where she was hot cake, and then,
you know, I moved from a place of being, you know, hot cake to a
place where I was literally traumatized. Yes, you know, how
did I move from there? How did I move to this place where I start
to feel like I was not enough, where, you know, societal
conditioning and the the trauma that a woman who is not married
goes through how did I get to this point?
I had to ask myself that.
But you know what got me through
the verses where Allah said,
wamaya
takila, those two verses, I reminded me. I reminded myself of
repeatedly.
And then there was this day I was really at my low and that's at the
time I was living in the UK. I was living in the UK, and,
okay, someone, I was reading a message. Someone said, sought
after, yes, we call that hot cake back home, yeah. So I was, I was,
you know, literally, I'll be hot cake and all of that. And then I
came across this stuff of, you know, Surat a duha, and that day I
was crying. I was just crying because I was so now in the UK, I
was, yes, I was, I was.
Even in the UK then. So
I was living in the UK, and I was divorced, and then I had a child,
and obviously I was, I was it was just like, how did I get here? How
did I get the space where I am now a single parent. This was not in
the plan. I always said it to myself, I'll be like, ya, Allah,
this was not in the plan, yeah, Allah, this was not in the plan.
Ya, Allah, this was not in the plan. Ya, Allah, I kept myself,
you know. I go, then, you know, and then I'll go, what? Well, the
one who kept themselves are the ones that are supposed to be
tested. Because how is Allah going to know that? You know you are,
you are truly for him, if everything was going rosy, you
would everyone can claim to believe in Allah when things are
rosy. But how do you distinguish? Did Allah not say a lady holla
calm? Did Allah not say that? Did he not say that he will test to
see who is as an Amala, who is best indeed, because everyone can
claim to be believers when everything is going rosy. But how
are you able to hold still and hold on to the rope of Allah and
Levi yakana, Abu dhain? You alone? Do I worship and you alone do I
ask for help? And when you know you are faced with the biggest
challenges, how are you able to hold still at that period to say,
You know what? I am going to hold on and I am going to get through
this because I am the servant of our man, because I am the servant
of Al Wakil, because I am the servant
of the One Who created the heavens and the earth from not because I
serve Him, yes,
because what either what
decree
when He decrees a thing he says Be, and it is, and I serve Him.
And so the one who created me is able to turn my affairs around.
Did he not turn the affairs over you by lay his Salam? Are you
blessed everything? If Are you blessed everything? And he got
back, and he got everything, then I am able to get everything back
in Allah. And those were the words, the words of ALLAH, the
promises in the Quran. These were the things. And so that day, I was
very low, and I remember that I had been sitting down and I was
crying,
and my daughter, you know, it was just Allah, just I realized that
at that point that she was actually a blessing for me. And
Allah gave me that gift before he tested me, because he wanted me to
have what will pull me, push me through, and pull me through that
challenge, because Wallahi, she wasn't Neymar for me. She was the
Nehemiah in that trial.
And you know, I think she had gotten used to missing she was
just two, but she just picked up my phone, she just picked up my
phone, and then she played the Quran. She just played something I
don't know, Wallahi, and as she was playing that chapter. So I
think there was just a video on my phone, and she had seen me look at
my phone many times, so I think she had noticed the app I always I
always played the Quran was my go to every time I was sad, I'll just
play the Quran or just start to recite, just to feel ease. And so
that day she saw me crying, so just she picked up my phone and
she was playing it.
And for some reason, the reciter that day was reciting so
beautifully that he got me crying some more.
And as I looked at it, I noticed that, you know, there was actually
a tafsir. So I decided to play the tafsir. I was crying the whole
time, and Shura to do her had a different meaning to me that day,
it became, yeah, it had a different meaning. And I was like,
Is this in the Quran? Of course, it was in the Quran. It had been
in the Quran over 1000 years ago. I just didn't, I just didn't go to
it at that time because, but Allah would send you help malahi when
you need it, he will send it to you from places you didn't
imagine. Who would think that my two year old daughter would be the
one she was two at the time? Who would think that she will be the
Sabbath for me that day to bring ease to my heart? Who thinks her
and and she so let us look at the chapter, because Allah says, okay,
so I was shameful.
What? Buha,
one lady
now what dark out
of
Bucha
Wala? So far your me go up Bucha ball.
Yes,
Allah,
beautiful recitation so Allah, You feel it straight into your heart.
And
in this verses, Allah says, What do her I swear by the early hours
of the day. Well, lady, either saja and the night. When it comes
with darkness,
your
Lord has not forsaken you, nor has he become displeased.
And
surely what comes after is better for you than that which has gone
before. What comes up is better for you than that which has gone
before. Wala, so far you're bigger, and soon will your Lord
give you so that you shall be well pleased.
Allah, like you know, when they say, drops Mike, this wasn't, this
was the drops Mike. Seriously, it was, you know, drops Mike for me
at that point, like I just kept crying those two verses,
one
and surely what is to come for me, because the verse was speaking to
me that day, that what is to come for me
is better than that which has gone past like a wife's telling me,
Aisha, get up. Yeah. Aisha, stop crying. Stop brooding about what
has gone before, because what is to come for you is better.
While I saw so far, you
and your Lord will give you, and you will be pleased.
Your Lord will give you, and you will be pleased.
That was a promise that Allah was saying to me there.
And then Allah said to the Nabi, and as I was reading and I was
thinking about it, did he not find you an orphan and give you
shelter? Did Allah not find me without a child and give me a
child? Did he not
i Yes, and he found you lost, and he guided you, wasn't I lost in
the dunya, and he guided me to Islam.
And then he found you in once, and he made you to be free from once.
And yes, there were days that I was hungry when I was single
mother, because there were days because I didn't have anyone to
keep my child, I couldn't go to work, and I know those days I
wouldn't have money to feed my my family, and Allah would somehow,
like, I will just get a call from a friend of mine and she'll just
be like, you know, Aisha, you know, check your account. I sent
something for you. Those things happened. They did happen.
In fact, when I was living in the UK, then there was a friend of
mine, Rahima Allah. And you know, she was Abu khair for me, masha
Allah, may Allah bless and forgive her sins. She during aid, because
I was home alone with my daughter during aidal at her, she sent me,
you know, the Kobani, she sent for me some of from what she had for
her family. She sent it by post. I don't know how she did it.
Wallahi, I don't know how she did it. I just got the post like I
wasn't expecting anything. So I got, I got, you know, something in
the mail, and I opened it up, and I was like, Oh my God. Like I was
just crying that day because I'm like, you know, I wasn't expecting
I was just thinking, Okay, well, we'll have a quiet aid. We'll be
fine, you know, Alhamdulillah. And so for me, it was like, and did he
not find you and want and made you to be free from what?
Therefore, as for the operand, Do not oppress him, and as for he who
asked, Do not cheat him. And as for the favor of your Lord, do
announce it.
Oti Wallahi Allah has taken me from that place where I was to a
place that was only a dream. It was just like, like a figment of
my imagination, like I was thinking, Okay, I'm going to get
there someday. And the way he did it, like.
Ilaha illua, it was just that I needed to show up. And so if
you're watching this, if you're listening to this, and for those
who listen, I just want you to know that all you need to do,
all you need to do is show up for the party and leave Allah to take
care of the things that you would use for the party, because he is
our back. You just show up. The thing is, we like to think like we
can plan everything. I didn't plan my life like this. This was not
the plan.
This was not the plan. I thought that I was going to get married to
this rich, dark, handsome,
you know, and then he will take care of me, and he'll treat me
like a princess, and I'll just have a really beautiful life, and
I'll just be making all the money. And, you know, I just had all that
dream and so I'll retire early and then just sit with the Quran. I
just had all those dreams.
But Allah, I thought that Allah used me as an ambassador, as a
good ambassador for Islam. You know, I used to make that dua, but
I didn't know what I was asking for. Because when Allah is going
to make you an ambassador of Islam, he's going to test you
first, so that you know no person, yes, yes.
I told a friend of mine that I didn't know what I was asking for.
So you need to know, like we are making dua, we know what you're
asking for. Ask yourself, I really want this, because honestly I
didn't know what I was asking for. Do you know it was recently, I
think some years ago, last year, that I read something about, Oh,
be careful about asking for sober, because if you ask for sober,
Allah, will test you. Oti, I have made God for sober for years.
I'm telling you,
I am literally
mean. So every time I answer, sober Allah tested me, and then he
increased me in summer, and then I asked one more. Test me some more.
I never asked for someone. I asked for ease. Oh, like,
give me easel. That's my music. I know I no longer ask for someone,
asking for trouble,
because are you gonna be patient
if you're not trained that I read that, I was like, Are
you saying that I have been the one asking for trouble all along?
Okay? No, sir, no. I just ask Allah for the best, and
it's okay. It's okay,
comedina,
so that's that's been my journey, and the Quran has really
just been my go to and I just really would like to see so many
people, you know, learn the Quran and know how to recite the Quran.
And so on some days I teach the Quran, I took a break because I
really wanted to immerse myself in seeking knowledge again. But in
recent times, you know, I think my last class, which was the end of
last year, my teacher said to me, you know, you need to start giving
this account, this knowledge. You can't just sit on this knowledge
and not give this account. So I've been working on, you know, coming,
putting together a community of people that are striving for
and, Inshallah, soon, I will be launching something for sisters,
you know, just a a group to encourage us. You know some
sisters who are willing to take the journey like let's just
encourage one another to have to embody the the words of the Quran,
because the NABI SallAllahu Islam didn't just teach us the Quran, he
showed us the Quran. And as Muslims, we are people who are
ambassadors of Islam everywhere we go
and pan Allah. Think about it, if everyone of us just practice an
ayah of the Quran, just one ayah. Imagine if each one of us was to
practice just one ayah of the Quran.
How, how much beauty would be spread in the world. Oh world.
Subhanallah, that's so true. Allahu Akbar, just we
unfortunately, for a minute, oh, we have to ask you how to connect
with you at the end inshallah. But before we do that, can you share
with us about so you talk so powerfully about your personal
journey. I don't know if you were able to read any of the comments
as you were speaking, so many people connected with what you
were saying, how your your share your loss,
and how the Quran uplifted you through
spoke through Pamela.
Thank you for being so.
Vulnerable for sharing your losses and your and your your
because impacts every single
who talks about the Quran as your you know
as a rope for you. How, how? How often Christ Quran is it like part
of the culture for women to approach the Quran is this,
because you talked about the Quran,
about the truth of Islam, especially because there are some
as you're surrounded by people who aren't Muslim as well.
Culture for what in general.
Sorry, I didn't hear that. I didn't have the last part of the
question, oh, part of the culture
for a woman to go to the Quran in Nigeria. What's the culture
surrounding Quran?
Yeah, I, I'm not. I will. I will, let me. Let me disclaimer. I'm not
really the cultural person per se. But do women in Nigeria study the
Quran? Oh, yes, especially hijab wearing Muslims. Um, I think that.
I
don't want to say it is because they don't have
I don't want to say why. It is because most hijabis do not get
jobs. But the thing like I said, I think I said it earlier, that we
struggle to have sort of economic empowerment for women in Nigeria
when you wear hijab because we are discriminated against. That's
That's my opinion. I stand to be corrected, but that's what I see.
I see so many people who are very talented, who are very
intellectual, and all of that struggle to get jobs in Nigeria
because of the hijab. There is that undertone.
Sometimes people are very in your face. They're like, Oh, you know
what, we can't employ you because you're in the hijab. And you go,
ehm, how does that? You know? So I think what happens is that because
of that, I have seen a lot more sisters, because they want to be
gainfully engaged,
go towards the Quran, so they learn the Quran. So you actually
have a lot of women from where I where I stand, because of the I
guess because of people I am around. I'm around a lot of
practicing Muslims. I see them actually go towards the Quran. But
I will say that that was much earlier, because in later time,
like in recent times, I haven't really seen the zeal for studying
the Quran like I used to see before. So we have more hijab
wearing Muslims, alhamdulillahi, Rabbi, Lal, I mean, but we
haven't. I haven't seen the growth of, you know, people connecting
with the Quran as much as I would have thought, considering the
increased number of hijab born Muslims that we now have in
Nigeria. However, I think that one of the challenges would be the
accessibility to people that are teaching the Quran, okay, yes, so.
And then for those who are working, for example, those who
are able to sort of get jobs and stuff, because they they have
this, you know, they have to keep up to this high.
Is it really that I think they need to keep up with work because
they don't want people to say, the reason why you are not keeping up
is because you're Muslim, right? Because of the discrimination and
all of that that already exist. And so you might see a sister who
is upright and all getting to work, and it's literally a
struggle for her to balance, you know, the work life balance, the
ability to still put up time for her Dean, to take up time to say,
I am actively learning the dean, sure, but is it something that is
achievable? Yes, it is achievable, because anything that we
prioritize we find time for.
And so it would be nice to see more women, more Muslim women,
living in Nigeria, take the Quran more seriously. So we, we, I think
we are more about I don't know that's my opinion anyway, but I
tend to see more people paying attention to the outward. But your
soul is important. It's not just about the hijab. It's about what
is in your soul, what is in your soul, what is coming out of it,
and how are you nourishing your soul? Yes, and you can be a
Ramadan Muslim. And you know, we joke about these things when we go
for Holocaust and stuff, and you go or Ramadan Muslim, but is
Ramadan Muslim limited to those who wear hijab only in Ramadan.
If you are someone who doesn't read the Quran outside of Ramadan,
aren't you also a Ramadan Muslim? Because the Quran is not only for
Ramadan, the Quran is for every time it's for us to just improve
ourselves and to continue to nourish our souls.
And so I think that.
But
perhaps more Muslim women in Nigeria need to give more
attention to the Quran. Where I live in the UK, I saw a difference
like I saw so many sisters like she when she talks about the
Quran, and you know, like I said, it doesn't have to be, it doesn't
have to do with the hijab. You might you the Quran would help you
actually connect more with your deen. It will help you grow in
your attachments for obedience of Allah, right? And so if you want
to grow in the deen, you need to have a relationship with the
Quran, yes, but I think that this is not stressed enough. You know,
people just think that. I think the hijab is just what's
important. So long as I'm wearing the hijab, I'm fine. I don't need
to have a relationship with Quran. I can just wait to for the Imams
and all of that. But learning the Quran is further angry. You know,
it is important. Yeah, so unfortunate that as communities,
globally, we have put such an obsession over women jab that we
haven't focused on all these other areas that we could encourage
women love, like you said, it's life
changing. Hijab is one aspect of so many different aspects of our
practice that's not all of our but
light and you talked about economic factors and so many
different accessibility, like so many reasons why it would be
difficult, but hamdullah, for example,
are trying to teach who are upholding this beautiful part of a
religion in a
the majority area that you live in. So blessing of you
so much to feel inspired by, to think about, to make dua for you.
Taught us phrases of dua that are so beautiful. Masha Allah, I have
I feel I
inspired. How can people learn from you? Volunteer with you, take
classes with you. What's also books you're you
share with us a little bit about how people connect with you.
Um, on Instagram, I you can follow my page. I think this is my page.
Yeah, I share on the score items, the the dean, the Dean classes,
though I do on city called Dean hub. So S, D, E N on the score
hub. Let me just type it here. Thank you. That's the handle for
the Dean classes, because, well, I am a trauma healing coach. So
the eyeshadows page is mainly because I work with women. So I
sometimes have non Muslims. We come to me for work. So the Aisha
Adams page, I do not do much of Dawa on it, because I do, but you
know, not in the in your face kind of way, yeah, however, the Dean
hub is in your face like we you.
Sorry, the network. So I titled it Quran John and Quran share, but
it's actually Quran journaling. Okay. Can you hear me? You are
now, yeah. So, yeah. So it's called Quran share, but it's Quran
journaling, so what I do is every,
yeah, yeah, I can. Okay, sorry, okay, so I have something called
Quran journaling. So it's just like I show a verse of the Quran
every day, just my reflections on that verse, just to keep people, I
make it really sharp, because I want people to have at least some
connection with the Quran. I think you should read at least the verse
of the Quran every day. It's not too much to ask. It just gives
you, it just sets, sets you on the right track. So I have that and so
many other things that I do on that page. That's where I do most
of my dean, if you want trauma healing, or you're going through a
traumatic experience and you are looking for some sort of support,
that's what I do on my Aisha Adams page, city core. City core has a
page on Instagram. It's called city core, underscore CIC. Let me
just type it here at city core.
Yeah, that's it. So that's my charity work page. And in Ramadan,
we do a lot of work to ensure that less privileged families have food
to eat. There's a lot of that. We have a huge Muslim population that
are impoverished in Nigeria, and so these people really struggle to
have food. There was, I think, was last year on the.
Fourth day of Ramadan, someone sent a message to say, I haven't
had food to break my fast since the first day of Ramadan.
Yeah. So, so the work we do is really important, especially for
the Muslims living here, especially in Ramadan, because it
brings ease to so many families.
So you can connect with me on either Aisha on this page here, or
you could check me out on silico page. And I'm just a DM away. Um,
I'm quite active on on Instagram, and I'm active on Facebook as
well. I think these are the main social media channels that I use.
And let me just spell it out. And hasn't seen the writing. It's a,
i, S, H, A, H, underscore, A, D, A, M, S, sunshine, people can
connect with you. Mashallah, your recitation, your
reflections. So powerful May Allah for
taking the time to speak with us. Mashala, she's a founder of
author, Masha, she's teaching, she's working on the ground and
helping people on the ground, and despite all of the traumatic
experience as she's using it to help other people heal through
the thus and in action.
And I love so much that you're a trauma coach like a healing. As
you know, the Quran is a healing. And also need professional that
that pain. And so you do that, you Quran, you bring in the
professional work, and you bring it together.
Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, for having me, it has really
been my pleasure. Thank you so much, Angela, we'll connect
against panic alone. We'll be having a show and let you, let
you, let us know.