Maryam Amir – Quran Memorization, Recitation and Special Needs Advocacy Hafitha Samia Mubarak
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Muhammad, Allah Abu Habibi
na
Muhammad, Sallam Alaihi, come Assalamu alaikum Quranic ocean.
Can you send me a request
how are you?
How are you doing? So nice to see you, honored to see you and to
have you go to Anand coffee with us today, your show today, and
it's an honor to have you today
happy.
I am so excited about starting today Inshallah, because today we
get to see the person and the story behind who go to ANIC ocean
is so many of you have heard happy love Samia recitation with the
four mothers campaign, but we don't know your story and so on.
Today we're going to talk about how you are a happy law, how you
have been educating with the Quran, how you are studying with
the Quran, how you are a an advocate for special needs
children. How you're a mother of a special needs child, and you're
also on the board of the Muslim woman of the Carolinas. You have
so much going on, mashallah, and you're still so connected to the
Quran. So Inshallah, we would love if you could share with us a
little bit about you and tell us about what your Quran journey has
been, how did you come to memorize it? How did you come to continue,
like a lot of people, memorize it and then don't go back to it, how
do you continue to review it and just feel connected to it with,
not in spite of, but in with, you know, in enhancing through the
process of everything else that you're doing in your life? Yeah,
hello, Zucker. It's such an honor to be here. I'm so happy to
finally see you. It's been so long,
such an honor.
So I feel like, I think, like you said, I think it's, it's important
to know that sometimes when we go into the memorization journey, we
don't know what we're doing, like, we don't know what we're getting
into, right? I think it was like that for me in the beginning. I
was younger. I was like 14, and I was just surrounded with
girls in the Quran camp in Jordan. At the time I was visiting, oh,
really,
camp, yeah, it was a Quran camp in Jordan that, actually, my mom
forced me to go there. I didn't want to go, go to it
the Quran camp, it's like a camp, like, it's like a camp, like,
actually in the woods, or is it like, what? What is No, you go
every day. It's like a whole day camp, like, where all they do is
just memorize, review, like they send that to each other. They
recite to each other. And it's, it was all girls. It was all around
the same age. You're, you're surrounded by girls around the
same age, but they all have the same goal of just memorizing. And
so my mom was a habit of Michelle, and her mom is too. So
she wanted the
creational impact
puts this, like, you know, effort into the Quran and passing it down
three generations. Tabarak, Allah, yes,
so to go to the camp, yes, yes. And, and I was going, like, not,
you know, I didn't want to, but then Subhanallah it like, you
know, like when, like the late switched on, like something
happened. They were just like, hold on. Like, these girls
actually want to be here, right? Like, the I saw something in them
that I had never seen before, right? And, and they wanted to,
like, grab the most health. And they just couldn't wait. Like,
we'd go to, like, waterfalls, we'd go to all these places that are,
like, beautiful Petra and all these things in Jordan. And they
would be engaged with the Quran more than with everything around
them. I'm, like, hold on, like, there's something about this Quran
that I haven't get gotten to yet, right? There's something about it.
So that's what started my journey. So when I came back to the States,
I finished middle school, high school, handle that I just, it
just became my drive. I was like, Okay, I want to memorize.
And at that point it was just memorizing, not just not, not much
reflecting.
But then when I was in
about, like, uh, later in high school, right? Actually, I was in
college. An older friend had passed away. My wife said, I have
mercy on her. And it was sudden, and that's what really shook me. I
was halfway done, I think, with the Quran, but it, it's put me on
a long pause, because it kind of like told me, like, what am I
doing in life? It asked. It made me ask all those necessary
questions. Necessary questions, like, what is life all about? Why
am I here? What's my purpose? Things like that. So but then
Subha brought me back to the Quran was number six. I love Jas so
much. It's yeah, it literally. I always tell people it saved my.
Life, like, literally, because I was, I was drowning, like I had,
you know, when, for those who have ever lost a loved one all of a
sudden, like, it literally shakes you. I remember, I lost like, 30
pounds in a month. I didn't, yeah, it was, it was really bad, like, I
remember, I remember my mom being really worried about me, like,
like, down to depression, basically, right? Like just
questioning life and things like that, but my dear chef, I know you
love your chef, and I love my chef too. May Allah reward him.
He told me he was just like he heard my thoughts, he heard my
worries. And I feel like this is a point that I kind of want to make,
that it's important for those who are engaged in the religious field
like to have a safe space with their religious leaders, to really
pour down their their thoughts, their doubts and everything. And
so he heard all my doubts. May Allah reward him like he didn't
judge me for them, like he,
I guess, metaphorically, held me through them, right? And he and he
and he welcomed those thoughts so I felt heard and then, and that's
why I was receptive to what he had to say. He would just like, look,
the Prophet went through his his down times, you know, and he, and
he just explained to me, you know, so gently about the Sita and why
Surat Al came down. And he said that Surat Al is one of the most
uplifting chapters in the Quran. So he told me, just recite it
every single day, in the middle of the night, really, a whole Surah
every single night, every single night. So I did that, I did that,
and it's like it's so healing Subhanallah, because in the Surah,
it's not a leaf falls, but he knows it. To me, it's like it was
the first time, like, Oh my God, not a tear of mine falls, but
Allah knows it. Like not one ounce of brokenness happens in my heart,
but Allah knows it. So it just really, really lifted me up. Like,
I feel like I found a lot of answers in it, and I that's what
kind of, like, reshifted my memorization to.
I want to soak in these words like I want them to, like, revive me,
right? So that's where that started from. Pamela from that
experience. So when you were reading it every night, were you
also like listening to a particular reciter, or were you
just reading it on your own? I was reading on my own at the time.
Okay,
that sort of is just,
it just gives you chills everywhere, all the time. Yeah,
it does. Um, okay. So before we continue, we have a special
comment, which is from iconic con that Jesus loves us and we know
we're so grateful that we believe in Jesus. And we really encourage
you to learn about Jesus in the Quran. You can just go to
quran.com read chapter 19, chapter three. Quran is filled with the
stories of Jesus. Peace be upon him. Okay. Sadasamia, when you're
talking about this process of your journey that you start into
open the Quran with your heart coming to your coming to the Quran
with your heart through tragedy and certain Surah, that kind of
was that process for you, yeah, what was next after that? For you?
For me, it was kind of like picking up the pieces of my own
life, but I wanted the Quran there with me. I'm so sorry. I'm
literally gonna start coughing right now. I have can you keep
talking?
Yeah?
So basically,
I feel like, you know, approaching the Quran through a lens of
curiosity. Like, how can this help me through my journey right now?
What is it teaching me throughout this hardship? Because, you know,
the Quran was was sent to the prophet as a healing for him.
Like, if you think of when the Prophet sallam, what he was going
through, he was going through moments of
people belittling him, physical abuse, verbal abuse, losing loved
ones, seeing your loved ones being persecuted because they're
believing in you
and the and the Quran shall you're okay. So sorry. Please keep
talking. I haven't I talk. I start popping up. Sorry to tell
everybody that, but it happens once in a while. Please, please
keep going. No, you're okay. So I was saying that the the Prophet
saws himself facing all this hardship that he went through and
that the Quran was sent for him. And I feel like I because I went
through a hardship, and studying the Sina, knowing that Prophet,
salam, went through a hardship, and that he was sent the Quran. So
to me, it was like I need to really look at the Quran with the
lens of hardship,
and from the angle of the Prophet too. Like if you think of what
these verses meant to him, where Allah tells him, we know you're
sad, like we know your chest is constricted, like all that
validation. And because I minored in psychology, I started picking
up on the pieces of heart, the pieces of feeling, you know, that
validation, acknowledgement. How does this verse make me feel?
Feel that's like one of my go to questions. How does this verse
make me feel? Right? You're Anne from an extremely personal,
emotional lens. You're not detached from the words. You're
trying to understand the meaning and reflecting on the meaning.
Yeah, yes, yeah, exactly. And it's making it it's making the verses
more like experiential like, Have I ever, like, for instance, like
the other day, I was talking to one of my students about Surah,
and how Allah says the end of the surah Watu waqq, right, that they
people engage in truth. So we spent an hour talking about, well,
what does truth mean to you? What does truth mean to me and Subhana,
just taking one word in the Quran and just asking ourselves
questions around that one word. Well, what does it mean to you?
How can I apply it in my life? You're already engaging with the
Quran on a on a much deeper level than we were taught. You know,
maybe you know when young as Paola. So right away you you have
this almost like intimacy with the Quran, like I always grew up,
like, what is Quran companionship mean? But when you really do this,
when you really let the words speak to you, and you're engaging
with it, and you're putting your feelings, you're bringing up your
own feelings from the these verses, then, then, yeah, it
becomes this, personable relationships, nothing else.
Subhanallah, yes. It does become just your lifeline. It becomes
your life. Yes. So how long did it take you in the process of, you
know, coming closer to the Quran? Sorry if I missed this, but how
long did it take you to actually memorize it? 10 years. Actually.
That's so awesome, so hopeful for all you know, to have. I mean, it
took me seven years. And when people hear that, they're like,
seven years. That's a really bad but it's worth every single minute
of those years. Yeah, so anyone can start today and then shell of
plantings Exactly, exactly. And for me, it's, it's not just about
getting to the end, but it's about soaking in every minute you are in
the journey. Because there's really nothing like it. It's just
being able to to have access to the Quran like, you know, I was
because, like, in the whole psychology thing, you're going to
hear a lot of things, but, you know, like, when people, for
instance, if you're in a relationship with somebody, you've
been a friendship, like, people can put up walls, they can put up
fronts, right? And you cannot access them, but the Quran never
puts up a wall. It's like, open access. It's always there and
like, and I think that's something that just so unique about this.
And it's literally Allah's words righthand. Allah, so when finished
your memorization, Then where were you in your life at that point?
Versus like now, like, when you just finish, you have time to
review, and you're like, but now, Masha, Allah, you are so busy. You
have so much going on. So what is your relationship now with the
Quran, with looking at your life and all the things that you have
going on in it, you know, it's interesting. I feel like the Quran
is only alive in my life right now, more than ever was, and I
think it's because of all the hardship and
like, for instance, I have a special needs daughter, right? And
subhanAllah, that was like another so I had mentioned my friend
passing away when I was in high school, but then when my when I
was I didn't find out that she was born with a rare syndrome until I
was five months pregnant with her. So at that point, it was like,
Okay, I need to, like, what can I do? And the one verse that I hung
on to was the last verse of where Allah doesn't give you more than
you can handle. Whatever you have is purposeful. So I really hung on
to that like, and I would just like, you know, whatever happens.
Because at the time, you know, the doctors and social workers were
saying, okay, she might not survive. We don't know what this
is. It's it seems really rare she might have, you know, handicap her
whole life. Like there was a so many unknowns, right? And I feel
like the best anchor that I had in that unknown was the Quran, like
more than anybody's support. It was just the verses that Allah
sent for us again. A lot of times I feel like we we feel like, okay,
this was sent to the prophet, but this was sent for every single one
of us. So when I started looking at it like, How can this be like
my affirmation to keep going, right? Yeah. How can it? So when I
started
making the Quran more like part of my journey, like this is something
that I can hold on to through this hardship. It really changed my
life at the time. So I was able to Alhamdulillah, like, now my
daughter's five years old, and
she she has a trach, she has a GJ tube. She has a few medical
issues, but hamdullah, like, the blessings with it are, you know,
are Allah, it comes with physical hardship and and I got this
question one time, like, how do you have time for the Quran, with
everything going on with her? But I was telling the sister who asked
me, I was like, it's actually, I have time for her because of the
Quran, because, like, Allah knows that if.
Didn't have this companionship, Alhamdulillah, with the Quran that
he's blessed me with, I wouldn't be able to keep going with her,
you know, because it's hard, it's hard to be a caregiver full time
and to, you know, do it alone. But you know, Alhamdulillah, you're
not alone when Allah's is with you, guiding you through it, and
you have Allah's words to comfort you. It just again. It just and
that, and that's why I started Quranic ocean. I was just like, I
want people to know how the Quran can literally awaken their senses
and change their life and give them this positive perception of
life, and how it can heal their hearts, like it can do so much,
right? Like they keep talking about it, but Subhanallah and,
yeah,
really ashita, it's truly a healing so can you share with us a
little bit about being a special needs advocate and a special needs
mom? I hear from a woman who have special needs children, and a lot
of times because of the reaction of the Muslim community, the way
that they don't feel like their spaces are accessible for them as
a parent, for their child,
sometimes there is really, really ignorant conversations that are
not based in Islam at all, but are very hurtful
for special needs children. Can you tell us a little bit about
that and about how you know, looking in the Quran, and it's an
honor.
We have this coffee thing happening today. I
know Hannah right when I right when she was born, and you know, I
was able to bring her home from the NICU, and my life was just
like I was seeing through a different lens, right? Like, it
was just, like, because I had never experienced somebody who had
special needs in my family, right? And some like you said, like,
culturally, we're not, we're not aware of that, yeah, we're not,
yeah, we're Yeah. We're almost detached from that concept of
being there for people, unfortunately, so my go to support
group were non Muslims, believe it or not, like the physical
therapists, the nurses that came to my house,
the occupational therapists, all these people who Allah put in my
life were mainly Christians, but they would, they really supported
me and showed me how, like, they were so merciful,
Like and they they had so much love for my daughter, maybe more
than I had at the time, because, again, I'm going through so much,
yeah, but to see the way they were handled, and they were so
positive, like one of them, I still remember, Mariam had an
episode where she wasn't breathing. One of them put me in
her car, drove me to the hospital, sat down with me until in the ER,
until the doctor came, didn't leave me for like, almost 24
hours,
right? And these are non Muslims, and so them standing with me and
showing me, like, Mariam potential, my potential as a mom,
I was just like, overwhelmed, and I was like, We need this in the
Muslim community, yes, like, Where, where are these people like
SubhanAllah. It's so, it's so incredible when you look at the
Prophet sallallahu, Ali Islam, their needs Muslims who were
giving the event, who are in the battles, who were a part, not just
like a part of the community, which is important, right? But
like, critical for, critical for the function of the community. And
I feel like, right now, we're not even a, you know,
not everyone feels welcome in the community. So we're, we're so far
from the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi, Islam society and honoring
Special Needs Muslims. How are you as an advocate, and especially as
someone who knows what Islam you know, not just what the Quran
talks about in terms of our very real human connection, but also
what you're actually experiencing on a daily basis, like, how are
you advocating for special needs, parents or children?
I feel like, for me, it was starting small, so we start a
small local group, okay, where we could at least be supports for the
moms. Because, again, like the moms are, you know, are what carry
a lot in a lot of these instances. So we started there.
Alhamdulillah, we started a local group. It was just support.
Sometimes people just need to be heard. Just need a safe space to
open up. Because, like, you know, Allah knows, like, you know, when
I was alone, I felt like I had to carry this just all by myself, and
I couldn't tell anybody what I was going through. Because I, you
know, you feel like you're not safe to to say the things that
you're feeling so meeting other moms who are going through the
same things I'm going through, who have the same thoughts I have
for me. It was starting. There was like, I need to be heard. They
need to be heard. We can support each other through it.
So because of that, we started creating, like, a yearly,
like a rare disease walk together in Charlotte.
Alhamdulillah. And it was not, it was Muslim and non Muslim. So
it's, it's, it's nice to see the diversity. Also, like it. It's a
good dawah opportunity, first of all, and then also,
yeah, it just shows our humanity of and how the Prophet was
literally a mercy for humanity. And I feel like these women who
were non Muslim showed me that, that that mercy is embedded in us,
and we just have to bring each other to that potential, Pamela
and and I feel like that's what we can do. Like, if you can do
something small, then just do that like, you know ever you can
never not do something. There's always something you can do, even
if it's just listening and learn went to us, yes, and you were
studying Quran. Even though you memorized it, you were actively
studying it. What have you been studying recently?
So you know when, when you memorize, you don't ever get to a
point where you're memorized and you're done, like, it doesn't
happen. It's like, it's continuous journey. You have to continually
review and
refresh your memory.
And Hamdulillah, I found this program called mudaka. They're
based in Maryland,
but it's a they have different levels, but it's almost like a
speed review. Oh, wow. But what's nice about it is that they do to
see it. They do to the bud.
So it's a three hour class every week, and it's almost like a
college course. It feels like you're taking a college course,
but Quran memorization, and you go, we go through the verses
together that we're going to review. We do the tafsir together.
The teacher gives us the tafsir. We talk about it, we discuss it,
and then we have to, you have, each person has their own Quran
buddy, so they can recite with Soham that I've had my Quran buddy
for almost five years now, the same person. So it's been, you
must be so connected,
I barely see you. I think I've seen it like twice in my life.
Subhanallah, we don't live in the same city, but your hearts, yeah,
exactly. Subhanallah, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's life changing.
And once you're in it, you just can't get out it just again, like
you're just, that's why I called it Quranic ocean. It's just, like,
you just keep diving and diving and diving, and it's, it's really
beautiful. Oh, Alhamdulillah. Thank you so much for sharing
that. And Maryam Jamila, thank you for, thank you for sharing your
story as well. It's, you know, just to go back to talking about
being a mother of a special needs child, I've just heard from so
many women who who've been told like, is this, because it's like,
just very, very painful, religious, traumatic, awful things
that are not related to religion at all. And I think the fact that
you know, you're an example of sometimes Allah, you know, honors
certain people with certain connections to him, to be a light
for other people who are going through that process. And I think
it's very easy for someone you know, who is doesn't have that,
that type of support system and the healthy connection, and also
who's experienced any sort of trauma or anything. It's very
easy.
You know, it's it's so difficult. But what I appreciate is that you
are, you are talking about the Quran and ways of healing and ways
of connection, and your personal growth through it, and how you're
continuing with it, and also how it's giving ability to support
your daughter and her support your process even more. And I think
that that's something that our whole entire community just just
can nurture so much and benefit so much from. Do you? Does your
daughter love hearing you? We said, Quran, she does. She
actually asks me to recite Quran. I have this. I have this really
big, you know, those, like Grand Mosque Quran, that people use for
the hejut. I have one. I have one of those in my room. So whenever
she wants it, she points to it, like, bring it here. And
mashallah, she's picked up. She knows that she's knows the Arabic
alphabet, so she's picked up on some words, like, amazing. It was
amazing.
You know what? She knows, she knows Mariam. Like any, any page
that has Mariam, I'll tell her Where's Maryam, and she'll,
she'll, she'll point to it. Allah connection. So
have have you been reciting Sura Yusuf to her at all?
Sort of tusif? No, because it's, I've been in this program, so it's
been like
intense for me. But she loves suras Mariam, that's her favorite.
I always, I always recite that to her. And recently, because she
knows the it's funny, because she knows the numbers in Arabic, she
wants me to recite the smaller suras because she likes seeing
like one through 10, like Surat and Chik, or like the smaller
surahs, yeah. Like she wants to see them all on a page, the 1232,
through 10, and then she'll start over again. So she always tells me
to flip to just, I mean,
I mean, can you ask what you're recently have been studying with a
kid?
Yeah. So we just finished Sura Tunis and Surat this semester. And
for me, it's, it's what really hit me is the times that they came
down like Surat Yusuf is such a a suit of hardship. Yes, you know,
and, and the Prophet was going through hardship himself.
So again, for me, I just, I like to see it as like, like, how
healing was this for him to hear. And I think I know I've made this
mistake growing up, especially when I got into the Quran,
sometimes we think that, okay, I'm doing something for Allah. I'm
doing some I'm on the right path, so my path should be clear. Uh
huh, yeah, but this is, this is where I've learned how that
sometimes, because you have this pure intention that you want a lot
in your life, you're going to get more stumbles. But those, those
stumbles are clearing your path for you, and you just don't know
it, right? Those stumbles are bringing you to a potential that
you never thought you could get to,
that are closed for you exactly, exactly Subhana and like I never
thought I could have a special needs child and know how to work a
ventilator and a DJ tube, let alone talk to doctors about
medication. I was never like, into medicine like that was, but
Subhanallah, like, again, this stumble brought me to a potential
where now I'm like, I want to advocate for other kids, right? I
want to, I want to be there in the hospital, to be there for other
children. Because of it, SubhanAllah. So again, like, I
think once we put like, our sincerity for the sake of Allah,
he'll open doors for us, and those doors can look like being stuck in
a well, like Prophet Yusuf was, right, like being stuck in jail,
like, like he was, but, you know, my teacher was teaching us that
this was all a part of his Tamkin, like, this was a part of his own
faith, his strength, his potential, like It came with so
much mercy, and we see that at the end pan Allah, right, I love that
you linked being thrown into a into a well as a mercy, like
heard, it be reflected as it was a mercy, because long term
Subhanallah, it led him to the path that was necessary, not just
for him personally, but for Literally, an entire region of
people that he helped save
powerful. Because sometimes the trial that we're going through in
our life is what will get us to the ultimate type of mercy that we
need in this life and in the hereafter. Exactly, exactly. I
wish we see it that way more often, very hard when you're in
the middle of it. It's very in the middle of it. But then we turn to
stories like Yusuf, alaihi, Hasidim, like Allah, the Surah,
being revealed at a time when the companions were asking, like, we
don't know if we can take it like, send us something that can be
comforting, like one trial after another, and such a powerful
ending. Is there something you wanted to share with us from the
ending of the surah?
I wanted to share his last two duas, and if you, if you want to
recite it together, yes, I would love.
I'll follow your lead.
Okay, Inshallah, so do you want I was going to recite verse 101 I'll
do 100 and then you'll do the same one again. Yeah. Okay.
Mina, Minashi, on your
ruler, who haga
wa
ABUTI, ha, God we
call the Jaha, laha, bhi, ha, Ko,
Wako, Sana, B, either, A, hora, journey, Mina, sinja, ni wa ja
abi,
kumina di
Anna, zawa, Shahi, Paan ubayini, wabana ihwati,
in
hacking,
that was so soothing.
I've
I love the way you recited the AYA. I have such a different tone,
and I love hearing it with yours. Colofici, I really.
Should have decided right after you, I'm so sorry. I would love to
hear your tone,
too. Inshallah,
yeah,
Heather.
Become what you're wa ja abikumya
Shah, may yes
in
the
other one. And then after that we can, I'll try to follow your tune.
And then we'll can do this, and then you can explain it to us. So,
oh,
A
minute, Oh, we
are
do sorry. I looked up for a second
because I thought the screen changed. Um, can you do me a
favor? I've never done this before.
Um, I've seen, I've seen people recite at the same time. Are are
so different. You have this like, very peaceful, calming recitation.
And I I wish I've tried so hard to, like, emulate that. And maybe
it has to do with milk on that. Have you taught learned milk on
that at all. I haven't learned it, but I listen to Michelle. Is no
one's all the time. That's all I have on all the time. So I think I
picked up on that. But Michelle, you're very soothing, Michelle,
like I love it.
But yeah, I would love to do both those types, types of recitations
together, because I feel the I know neither of us are, like, well
versed on that. Inshallah, what I think I'll study, but I would love
to see what they sound like at the same time. Okay, what do you want
to do?
So go back to the first one little thought, okay, all right. You want
to read it together, or, like, cut it up, or, Oh yeah, only because I
don't know we're gonna take breaths, unless you want to do it
in one breath, which I don't know if I could
do. No, no, you're fine. I'm just, do you think we'll go through on
the live together? Are we at the same time? Oh yeah, I think it'll
be fine. It'll be fun. Okay, Michelle, let's try it.
All right.
Well,
all
right, I wasn't
ready. Hi,
Hola,
be
helpful. John,
body,
na.
Quality,
Well,
Damien,
can you
do
that last part
again, together? Yeah, ready, go
see to
recite
with someone.
I off your chef did this. But this is kind of the method that my chef
would do with me, with some surahs, like he would recite a
part of it, and then I would recite the other part. And then
when I when I when I tried after I finished, I was like, Chef, let's
do that again. He's like, you only do that when you're learning. You
don't do that. You don't do that anymore. I was like, come on,
Chef, please call me anytime. I'd love to do it with you, back and
forth. And Joel, I love this. So tell us about these verses. You
just studied them. You had an exam in them. What about them? Um, it's
just so beautiful again, like when you think of Prophet, use of
story, if you backtrack from the beginning of the story, like he,
he's betrayed by his brothers. He's thrown in the well by
himself. He's not seeing his father. He's sold for, like,
literally, dirt cheap on the market, he's seduced the Pala,
yeah, exactly from thing to think he's seduced by the woman that in
the palace. He's
thrown in jail, unjustly accused, right and unjustly he prefers to
be in jail rather than do anything to displease ALLAH SubhanA.
And then you see what it took for him to get to see his father
again, right? So there's again, all this hardship, and now it's
just so beautiful that the second he sees his family like what his
first words are like, this is what really gets to me, like what his
first words are, that first of all, he tells his father that my
dream has become true. The dream from the beginning of the story
that he told him and to me again, thinking about it, about what the
Prophet was going through like, Wouldn't it have been a dream for
the Prophet Sallam to have Mecca being opened and being Muslim, and
now at the end of the story, you're seeing a dream become true.
It's almost like validating the Prophet and telling him, keep
going, your dream will become true too, right? And, and to me, it's
like also in, in all of our hardships, like we can be Yusuf in
the well, quote, unquote, right? We can be in that point in life
and to see this dream becoming a reality, it's you can hold on to
ALLAH SubhanA, like, hold on to that rope and know that you know
no hardship is is never ending, right? And and to see what he says
right after that, he says that Allah was good to me, like that
got me. I was reading that Allah was good to me.
Yes, exactly I was like
to say that like to be grateful. And I feel like, again, like you
can talk about gratitude here, positive perception, first of one,
right? Like, positive perception of God, Allah,
yeah, just that by itself, you can talk about it for so long, just
what he what he says, right there, yes.
And then after he says that, He says, Allah took me out of prison.
Like he could have said, Allah put me in prison. I was stuck in
prison, right? But again, the positive angle I came out of
prison.
Like, there's so much positive psychology here,
right? So you know, you're looking at surah Yousuf in a psychological
lens. Exactly.
Apologies. The panel Sura Yusuf. This is the 12th chapter of the
Quran. Yeah, yeah, inshallah. And then he now, when he he tells
about his siblings. He says,
shaytaan obey yobena. He says that the Shaytan got between us.
There's no blame, yeah, there's, there's zero blame to his
brothers.
Like it just, yeah, he's Subhanallah, again, to to have
this character, this really, really stands out. Um.
And the fact that he says Allah's Latif like one of the most
beautiful names of a father, I personally love that. Like, you
know, Allah's little of his subtlety was planning out
everything in the background like nothing happened haphazardly,
right? Nothing was by coincidence, right? Allah was
guiding that plan. Was putting puzzle pieces together through the
story, right? And he understands that. He says, Allah is love leaf,
like Allah is subtly planning this entire time. And Allah, alim,
Hakim, Allah is all knowing, all wise. And my teacher, may Allah
reward her. She's the one who really inspired me to do this,
that whenever you see Allah's name in the Quran, in any verse, look
at what's happening in the in the verse. It makes the verse stand
out so much more. It makes the concept stand out so much more.
And you see this here, yes, yes. So What? What? When you're
reciting this verse, I've the way I'm hearing it from your
recitation is like, how are you envisioning it happening? Because
your recitation is very like,
it's kind of like this. It's very sweet. It's very like, like,
very serene. It's like this moment is so serene. Can you tell how
you're envisioning it when you're reciting this ayah
I'm just saying, like, in an everyday footage, like an opening,
like, I'm just seeing that, the the relief, right? Like when, when
you're working for something, for it's almost like a, you know,
when, when you know those feelings, when you get to jannah
inshallah, and it's just like, let it down, right? Like you're,
you're done, you're at peace. So Subhanallah, I feel like, for me,
like this moment of of him seeing his father, it's just like a mini
glimpse of Jannah, just like, like, seeing a fruit of Jannah
here, almost, right, like that. That's what, that's what I see,
subhanAllah, right? So when you're reciting, it's kind of like this,
like, that's the way you're feeling it at when, when you
normally get news like that, or when you, when you get to this
point personally in your own life, when I ask you something very
personal, like, Nicole of a place in your life, is your reaction
typically, like, a serene reaction? Like, what is your
typical personal reaction?
Not always, no. And I think, I think for me, it's, it's
like, like, a sudman, you like, you know, like, like, a sudden
something happened, right? Yeah. And for me here, this is where we
get to practice all the suburb, right? Like, you know how the
like, the your perseverance, your patience, is in the first so it's,
it's at this moment where, when, whenever we're hit with something,
whenever I'm hit with something, it's like,
I remember, I tried to remember all these things that the Prophet
Salam told us, like has been allowed is enough for us, all
these positive affirmations that we have in the Quran. And
honestly, his buchadabi is one of them, like Allah was good to me.
And I think those are all really grounding moments, like, for those
who've ever done therapy, like those moments that you can
practice grounding, right, or, or, or mindfulness, like, they're in
the Quran, like, 100%
you know, but what about when it's something like, what if it's good
news? Like, what if it's something that you're like, Alhamdulillah,
you you completed something, or some, some exciting good news. It
happened that you didn't expect, like, a blessing from Allah, that
you were like, Finally, I've got to this. Allah has given me this.
Like, what is your reaction to that? Is it like this? Like, like,
what is your reaction in that moment, personally? Um, for me,
it's like my mom has always taught me, if you do sujood shukud, like,
you just right away, jump to the floor and just do sujood. Like,
any, any good news. So it's always like, you want to take, you want
to take that gratitude to Allah. Okay, when you are grateful,
you're kind of, like going into sajda and you're like this, like
gratitude, of like, just this, this, this, like, peaceful
gratitude. This, like humble. The reason
is because when I get good news, or when I feel like something has
happened, like, of course, of course, like, we should all do
sessions just shook. I also feel this like excitement where I'm
like, just
like, you know, and so I'm wondering, because when we're
reciting this ayah, the way that I'm seeing it or feeling it is
like this, like, of course, this like extreme humility of shock,
like Yusuf alaihi salam is like, I mean, his parents are there, and
it's just so emotional. But then all it's like this powerful, like
Allah brought this all together. You know, hear it from you. I'm
hearing this, like, grounding, this, peace, this, like this,
like, as if it's like, he knew from the beginning that Allah will
take care of him, and so it's like, so calming in the way, just
in the way you're reciting it, like, Can you recite it one more
time? Just like that, you're the soothing recitation that you just
did. Okay?
Cuz, like, I want to see okay, if anyone can hear the difference.
Like, tell us.
Tell us if you're hearing this, because it's so incredible, like
the way you recite Quran is reflected in your understanding
and your emotional
connection to
it in different ways. So recite for us, please.
Well,
Jada
San Abinadi
and
me
in
a
it
just felt like I was here in Yusuf IDEs, and I'm like, hold his dad's
hand and like,
happen and look at this and this, like the way it makes me feel like
that, subhanAllah, just in the tone, just
SubhanAllah. You know, I have a friend. She always tells me she's
like some of you recite in a
any in the tone, the sad tone, sometimes, and I feel like even
happy verses, I can I recite them in a sad tone, because it's like
you said. I think that it comes back to my own psychology. Like,
there's, there's a special kind of, not sadness, but a calmness,
yeah, yes, right? There's a special calmness in those
grandiose moments, right? Even the Jannah versus, like, when I recite
verses of Jannah, I know I, I've heard you recite the last verses
in Suraj Fajr. Oh, yeah, that's in that, right? Like, you're on a
high, like, I can feel your psychology. You're like, Oh, I'm
in, Jenna, you're there for me. It's like, I'm like, calm, just
like, oh, peaceful. Like, right? SubhanAllah. So I guess it just,
it's nice that you can pick up people's personalities to the way
they were. Say, subhanAllah, right? Like, the Quran is so
powerful that, like, to me, verses are like celebration, screaming,
Allahu, Akbar, on top of the world and someone else. Are you reciting
those verses? And you're like such gratitude and Allah, and it just
comes out in the way you recite it. Can you EXIF again? And then
you can tell us, share with us a reflection
on it.
Yeah, oh, because Samuel,
Tawa, Fani mu selima
tawani, MUA
al hai Kwani, mean,
can you share with us what I mean?
So here he's more gratitude, like he's he's
affirming. Whatsapp has given him like ya, Allah, you've given me
all of this, right?
Um, but what I love, my favorite part about this verse is FAL Tira,
semawa, tiwad and tawali,
that combo. Like to say that Allah is the Originator of the heavens
and the earth like and to me, it's like seeing Allah in His power and
His capability, in his might, in His Majesty, that he created the
heavens and the earth, and he's aligning, aligning the stars, and
he's guiding the sun and the moon and the mountains and everything
is in Allah's command. But then this Allah is your Wali, your
personal protector, your personal guardian, until Ali. So it's like
it goes out from being zoomed out to like very like he's my
caretaker, right? Like seeing the two together here constantly blows
my mind, like multilas,
right? Like it's it's personal, like you're my.
Are there any
other reflections
that you would like to share with us from these verses?
No, that's it. Angela, oh,
share with us or we can open it up for some Q and A if anyone has any
questions,
how can people we're not done, we still have 10 minutes. I'm taking
every single minute of it. Inshallah, while anyone has
questions coming out, how can people connect with you and study
with you? Take classes with you? How can they reach you? So I have
a link in my bio, and if you put your email, you'll get
notification of my future classes. Inshallah, we just finished Surat
manyam. That was my first class that we've done, actually, and
help you prepare all of your reflections with her. And just
this, this, I love the way that you're connecting her with the
surah that has her name, SubhanAllah. Yeah, yeah,
SubhanAllah. It's, you know, my name is special. And how may Allah
reward her my friend. She's the one who inspired me to start this
class, and actually met her because of you, when you started
the foremost campaign, I met a friend, and she's the one who
reached out to me to inspire me to start suras maniam, let's have she
said, Can you teach a class? And I said, Okay, let's go for it.
I had never so you're getting all the edges all, let me make it from
your it's
everyone we love. That's, I don't even know, I don't have words for
that,
SubhanAllah. So this class really motivated me to keep doing more
classes, because I was learning from it. Like the structure was,
it was like a 12 week course or 10 week course, and we do about 10
verses each time on Zoom, Hamza was for sisters, and I would
recite the verses and go word by word, and then we'd extract
concepts, and then we'd open the floor for reflection. So it was
really a unique way to, again, bring out our own feelings from
the verses. How, how, what they make us think of it was really
nice. And subhanAllah, we came out with a theme of mercy in the
unknown in surah. And you know, it's the surah. I'm sure you know
this. Rahman is mentioned in Surat Maria more than any other place in
the Quran.
And you just see so much mercy in the unknown in the Surah, like
from beginning to end SubhanAllah. So, yeah, it really changed my
perspective on the Surah, on the way I when I review it, and until
I want to do more classes. So if you're interested, sign up.
I have a parenting course that I give sometimes all about ayat.
Everything is about from ayat of the Quran, basically Parenting
from the Quran.
And what is your Can Can you write, spell out your name for
those who can't click on your name right now on, how can they reach
you on Instagram? Quranic ocean. So Quranic ocean is my instagram
handle, yeah. And like an underscore Quranic underscore
ocean, yeah, exactly. Yeah, perfect. Inshallah, and then they
can reach you in your bio, Inshallah, yeah, yeah. Inshallah,
um, and also, we have a couple more questions I saw earlier. How
do you reflect on the Quran without reinterpreting the verses?
So again, if you want to do the full picture, if you want to get
the full you need context, right? So it important to have so I'll
show you the book I have right now. This one is a the Yeah, I'm
right, the meaning of the Holy Quran in today's English. Oh,
interesting. And I like it because it's, it's really thick. It has
footnotes on the bottom. So I like that. Sometimes you'll bring a
hadith that relates, or he'll bring, like, this baby nuzun,
like, why the verse came down, yeah. So if you want to get the
full picture, I would have something like that, or the study
Quran, and there's a lot of others, good books, mashallah,
English,
and then also, like, if you want to just engage with on a personal
level without doing this. FCA, just ask yourself, like, how does
it make you feel? What injury comes to mind? Like I do, put on
coaching for youth. I just started recently, so I have, I was talking
to a 12 year old yesterday, my little reward here. And bless her
parents, Mashallah.
We were talking about a verse in Surat about how Allah created
different colors. And we spent like, 20 minutes just on the
concept of colors and and, and I was like, What do colors mean to
you? And she was telling me how each color is like an experience
in life. It's not just a color. And we started talking about how
we can use the the eyesight, the ability to see, to to help us,
guide us through those moments. So just like again, just like things
like that, like getting your feelings out of the verse. And a
lot of verses that have imagery like what you just asked, I think
that was nice. Like, what do you feel when you hear this verse
about Prophet Yusuf alaihi salam, right? Like doing things like
that, just engaging your own feelings and and what you see come
to life, right? What's wrong?
It's just like, you know, there are two levels of tafsir. There's
like tafsir, which is actually like studying with the scholars,
and like, what the with what the interpretation has been, and then
their reflection, you know, and that you're not making a.
Up ruling out of what this verse means. You're just understanding
it in your personal life and your connection. So it's it's so
important for you to connect to these verses personally. Of
course, taking a ruling from them, that's a different situation.
Yeah, exactly. And one of my students is on here. She said,
Come as you are. We have a class called come as you are. And that
one is, it was a 12 week course, and it's about kind of finding
hope in Allah,
overcoming hardships, building to what good this is kind of like a
safe space for sisters, to to be and to heal through the Quran and
to to grow through Allah's words. So I recommend that, like I told
them I was like, I'm healing through this class, even though
I'm teaching it like I'm literally healing through it. So I highly
encourage that I'm going to start that again Inshallah, in January.
Paula, Paula, so please go to her go to her Instagram page, go to
anecdotscore ocean, and then Shali can sign up for her classes. And
we have four more minutes, all I want to do is hear you recite. So
just recite for us.
You just recite for us. More. Do you want to do one verse? One
verse again?
Yes, I would love to, only because it's just such a special honor to
do it with you. But I'd rather just hear you recite.
So right
thing else,
we can keep going whatever you want with those verses. Or do you
have any special place that you want to start? No,
okay, wait, we can just keep going if you want. Those are nice
verses. Yeah.
So start and do one ayah. Okay?
Then
he
coming, subhanAllah,
I
on SubhanAllah.
I'm actually going to recite that same Maya differently, because
you, you, you feel it so differently. So this the
translation. Can you give us, like a general translation
of it? This is from the past. I don't I just call them
the Rabe is what's * in English, seen the unseen, yes,
from the past, unseen that we have given to you,
and you were not with them when they were gathering against you,
right? Yeah, it's
coming back to the Prophet saw them. So it's comforting him,
yeah? So I see comfort. See, that's what I see. I see comfort,
yeah? So she sees comfort. So her recitation is so serene, and so
and then the way seeing this so different, because I'm seeing it
like, yes, it is comforting from the past. But then it's also
wahome, Kuru, and so it's like, and they were like, plotting,
yeah, like,
so the way I'm Hearing hearing it all
the
time.
It's like,
yeah,
I love that so much. Okay?
Meaning,
sorry I was so off. I'm
gonna
start over how was that meaning? Can you say the next one? Yeah,
this one most, most people don't believe, no matter how hard you
wish them to,
mean
a mean aju in Hua, ILA
Di
ko,
Lila mean one
in
mean,
we do the translation first, actually?
Yeah,
you're not asking the faithless for any reward for this. This is
no less than a reminder for all the worlds you want me to do the
next translation. Also, yeah. Then how many?
In the heavens and on earth, do they pass by yet they turn their
faces away from them?
Okay. Beside that one,
I want to
see how you're
gonna
mean
somehow. Oh,
can you recite it again? That was amazing.
I love that.
Waka im,
see ya more.
Mona
Ha, yeah, Moroni, how are you want to
do the next
one? And then maybe that's that last one, because we're past 10.
Okay, so it's most of them don't believe in Allah without making
others as partners with him.
Well, my
mean luck. Aksum.
Wa Ma, Yu Mi no exhala, ILA Wahoo,
I
got so many emotions. Reading this with you, I just felt this, these
Ayas in such different ways, hearing it in your recitation.
Subhanallah, JazakAllah khairan, that
has sent me so much for your time. I I'm so grateful for all of your
questions, for your presence, for the advocacy that you do, for
being a special needs mom and for helping create spaces for other
special needs parents to feel like they have those
give, give vocabulary to the words to to amplify their voices and to
help them feel like they have a space with the Quran. For all of
us, it's so empowering and healing. And JazakAllah khidan,
for sharing your light with us. Your Quran with us, you can
continue to study with her inshallah on her Instagram page,
and Inshallah, we will continue to hear your recitation. Is a Khalid.
And so much for your time and everyone for joining us. Do you
want to end with anything at all? I just want to tell you thank you
for starting the foremothers campaign like I cannot tell you
how many women have come to me and and told me like how much it's
impacted them in their life and how much
it's really brought them closer to the Quran. It's healed them.
Subhanallah, I feel like the world needs this, like these sisters who
have almost felt like, you know, they don't have access to the
Quran, but now, you know, we're breaking that stereotype. And this
is for them, right? This is for them. I was reading, is it? Was it
her name? The one who used to recite the Quran out loud, the
Prophet's time. I believe that was her name.
I'm not sure what.
There was a Sahabi who used to recite the Quran out loud, and
used to listen to her outside and like, and what? And one day he
said, like, where is she? I didn't hear her voice. I'll send you the
I'll send you the excerpt. I read it in a book, yes, the other day
yesterday that we were reading, and it's so powerful. I feel like,
I wish we knew these stories more SubhanAllah. Because, again, like,
it's just powerful to hear women recite, like pala like, just it,
it's it's healing. And it's a groundbreaking Subhanallah, so
groundbreaking. And even though I've done so much research on
women who say the Quran, I haven't come across that narration. So
look at how I've done years of research on this topic, and I
haven't come across that, that um narration. So imagine people who
haven't done years and years and years of research on this don't
know about all of these narrations.
So key and Inshallah, we all continue to recite the Quran
together, Subhanahu wa salamu, alaykum, warah, Ketu salad Samia
of our wonderful, blessed community, salam, Alexa.