Maryam Amir – Pious women wear hijab only

I had a friend who was very active

in the Muslim community, always wore very large

hijabs and jibabs, organized Quran programs, attended every

lecture. At one point, she was sexually assaulted

by a community member, a community elder. She

spent years working to process the trauma, and

she also attempted suicide. She removed her hijab,

and one of the reasons is the next

story that I'm gonna share with you inshallah.

I had another friend who we used to

wear together. She used to fast every other

day and would pray to Hajjul, like, every

night. She also was a victim and a

survivor.

After a suicide attempt, she was hospitalized. And

when she was hospitalized,

the hospital refused to allow her to wear

hijab because

they said that it could be used as

a tool. When she left the hospital, she

removed her hijab. And it wasn't because she

was obsessed with the dunya or because she

was worried about what people would think about

her as she was walking down the street

and judging her. She was worried about herself

and her own safety

when it came to having

hijab on. The third example is of a

young woman who started wearing hijab in middle

school because her parents told her that hijab

is a protection from men.

I want you to consider what her feelings

towards hijab may have been when

form of protection

from assault

did not protect her. She was not taught

that abuse

is about

power and control. She was taught that abuse

is about her dress and that messaging is

one that I have heard 100 of times.

There are lots of reasons why women do

not wear hijab. This is simply a few

examples

of ones related to trauma. And we could

say that it's so sad that these sisters

were taught to center men when it came

to hijab instead of centering Allah

That had they been taught that hijab is

this, you know, deeply connected form of worship

to Allah,

maybe their navigation

of that trauma may have been different. But

if we are going to make that statement,

then we should also

look at the community

that is responsible for teaching that message. And

when we don't

bring that conversation in to the conversation on

hijab, we perpetuate this idea that women who

do not wear

not pious. When we don't even understand the

also, I realized I should have said this.

This is obviously not encouragement to remove hijab

when someone is processing trauma. I'm just sharing

with you the reality

that maybe many people are not aware of,

which is why we continue to perpetuate these

ideas of piety being tied to hijab. Of

course, hijab is a beautiful obligation, and we

should look right now especially to the woman

of Gaza who wear hijab. Women who wear

hijab and Gaza are wearing it 247

because they do not want to be martyred

without their hijabs on. Looking at that framework

of hijab as an act of worship to

Allah and building that connection, but also accountability

as a community,

providing access and mentorship and support without the

stigma and the taboo and the guilt. Helping

women see themselves

as who Allah

created them to be instead of constantly forcing

down our throats the idea that women are

fit now for just existing are all parts

of the conversation that need to happen before

we make blanket statements like pious women always

wear hijab.