Maryam Amir – Muslim Women’s Roles

The only reason that Allah created jinn and ins is so that Allah, we

would worship Allah. Now, how does worship look like? That's

expansive. When I was in college, I listened to a lecture called the

ideal Muslimah. I was 19, I wasn't married, I wasn't a mother, and I

was very excited about figuring out how I can be the Ideal Muslim

woman. And the entire hour lecture was talking about how to be an

ideal wife, and becoming an ideal wife and becoming an ideal mother

are very powerful, beautiful, wonderful things to become. But

that lecture should have been titled, How to Become the ideal

Muslimah wife,

and when we don't put those nuances in our discussion of what

it means to be the ideal Muslimah, the message that we here is your

number one role in life is to be a wife and a mother. I

Alhamdulillah, I'm very blessed to be a wife and very blessed to be a

mother. And I know I'm very privileged to say that that's a

blessing. Because I know people are struggling to get married.

People are struggling in their marriages. People are struggling

out of being married. I know people are struggling with being

parents, with infertility. I know that those are privileges that I

say that

at the same time, despite the fact that those are privileges like I'm

saying this from a privileged position,

it's important to recognize that your worth is not defined by your

relationship status or your motherhood status, and on a

spiritual level. The reason why it's important to clarify this is

because so many women have spoken with me about not being in a

relationship, about not having children, or being in one and

being very unhappy, or struggling with the fact that they're

mothers, and feeling like somehow that affects the relationship with

Allah, somehow that brings their level of piety lower. Have you

ever felt like your place in our community had to do with your

status, your relationship status, your motherhood status? So many of

you are nodding your heads, when, in reality, it depends on your

situation, how you worship Allah subhanahu wa

so yes, wifehood and motherhood are beautiful. Are highly

encouraged. Sunan, it is highly encouraged to get married. If it's

the right situation, you're highly encouraged to have children. But

that doesn't mean that's your only path to Allah.

Sheik Akram Nadu, we talks about over 8000 female muhaddifat Women

Hadith scholars. And he says that every single one of them, if they

were able to fulfill their obligations in their family home,

if they were married and had kids, they also continued their studies,

and they also taught, and they taught men and women.

So even if this is your number one role right now, I know sometimes,

and we're focusing specifically on motherhood and white food right

now, but I know sometimes, as a mother, you feel like that's all

that defines you your children, and then when they leave the

house, you don't know what to do. That's all you've invested your

time in. May Allah, bless you. That's a huge sacrifice for your

entire life, 20 years of your life. It's a huge sacrifice,

and it's hard to say. Also study Islam, also memorize Quran, also

go out and do this. We don't value the immense sacrifice that you put

into being a mom and into maintaining a household. The

Prophet saw some told us that we're all responsible for our

flocks, like a shepherd, and if you have a household, if you

married, if you have kids, those are your responsibilities.

Absolutely. I Alhamdulillah, for the past three nights, I've slept

two hours, not consecutively. The first two Alhamdulillah slept

almost four last night, not consecutively.

And when I think about the efforts of mothers who are doing this

constantly, and then on top of that, to tell them, to tell us be

something more, being a mother is enough. That is incredible. And

when you're ready to do something different, this is Sheik Akram,

example of the mahadifat When you are ready for something different,

too. The muhaddifat are examples of women who did something

different too.

When you're in a relationship, it is you and your husband who work

together to decide how you're going to maintain your household.

That is within the Islamic priorities, you have that

discussion together, and you and you work together as a unit.

But moving beyond the discussion of wifehood and motherhood, there

are so many women in Islamic history who've shown us different

ways of worshiping Allah. Let's talk about specifically in the

society of the Prophet.

Ahmed, sallAllahu, alaihi wasallam. Give me a name of a

female companion that comes to your mind right away, Aisha,

radila. Anha, okay, we'll start with Aisha.

We'll go to Khadija. Aisha radiah, we know that she was married to

the Prophet sallallahu sallam. Was she a mother?

She was never a mother. She was a scholar in medicine. She was a

scholar in lineage. She was a scholar of Islam.

And when the Battle of the Camel happened, she was the head of an

army.

Sheik Yusuf karoloi mentions that she regretted her stance because

she was on the wrong side politically, but she didn't regret

going out and being the leader of an army when

we talk about Khadija, radila and Ha, she was married radila Hua and

Ha, she was a mother and she was also a businesswoman. Different

aspects of her life identified became the identity of who she

was. And

it's important for us to recognize that she was a businesswoman

before she was the wife of the Prophet sallallahu seven, and

before she was a mother. And it's okay for you, for her career to

have defined who she was. And she used all of that, all of the money

that she had, to support the message of Islam, and to support

her husband when she was married, and he came with a message the law

Aliyah, send them.

When we look at someone who fought in a battle, who was in Ohad with

the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa salam to his left, to his right.

Who do you come who comes to mind in terms of a female sahabih,

yes, Omaha Tia. We're talking about Nusrah, but that wasn't the

only battle that she was in with the Prophet. Saw them. She was in

multiple battles. She lost her hand or her arm to Allah, and then

she became someone with a special ability. Because special ability,

Muslims are leaders in our community, in our history.

Excuse me when we talk about

Ummah Atiyah Nusa Verdi, ALA, she was also a mother. But that's not

the first description that comes to our mind when we think about

umna Seva, Ummah Atiyah, Nusa, Verdi, Alabama, because she also

had a different capacity, which she served the ummah. Not that her

motherhood wasn't enough, but when she was ready, she did something

else too. I want to highlight this particular nuance, because I grew

up hearing in my community that my greatest goals in life should be

wifehood and motherhood, and so many of you have too. And it's

important for us to recognize that that's not necessarily an Islamic

narrative, as in, there's nothing in the Quran that states you must

become a mother, you must get married. That's very different

from something that's highly encouraged, a highly encouraged

sunnah, which we want to follow out of our love for the Prophet

sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam. Does that clarification make sense?

Does it make a difference when you know that distinction, it makes

it. It makes a difference spiritually. It makes a difference

when we see in the time of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam

sat, she was a poet, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa

sallam praised her poetry. Rafael do Asmaa and rufaila was a surgeon

in the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, sad,

even more. Ad, who's a great companion of the Prophet salallahu

alayhi wa sallam. When he was injured, the Prophet sallallahu

Sallam put her in charge of his care because he wanted the best,

and she was the best at what she did.

When we look at examples in the time of the Prophet sallallahu

Sallam a woman who excelled in their worship. There was a woman

who was a wife of the Prophet sallam, Salama, as mentioned by

Ibn Hajar. This is a narration in Bukhari. We often hear that it's

better for a woman to pray in her home, and that that's where she's

going to get more rewards.

There are narrations that specify this, but there are hundreds of

narrations that talk about some of the female companions who would go

for every Salah, the encouragement of the female companions to come

out on nay, to pray Janaza, to pray Juma. We have narrations of

women who talked about when at mashupa, when the Qibla was

changed from one direction to the next. What happened? There was a

woman, a female companion, who talked about how the woman's rose

moved over and switched with the men's rose. That's because women

were present in all of these situations. Women were present in

the Muslim community, in the Muslim society, in the masajid.

And when we talk about going to the masjid and being that, being

our space, we look at um Salam aladha, who used to have istihala.

Istihallah is a type of bleeding that's not your period. So we have

certain rules relating Salah in your period. Istihala is a

different type of blood. It comes at a different time. That's not

your period blood. It doesn't affect whether or not you can do

salah, for example.

So.

Salaam Alaikum. She used to pray in the prophet's masjid,

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This is in buchare.

Now, there was no barrier between the men and the woman in the time

of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in his Masjid. So if you're

entering the masjid and you look back and you see the woman's

section, you're going to see women there praying if you're a man

entering the Masjid. To clarify, so um, Salama used to have

istijla, and they didn't have like pads and stuff like we do today.

So what she would do is she would have put a tray underneath her so

that when she was praying, it would catch the blood and it

wouldn't get on the floor of the Masjid.

Now this is a authentic narration, and Ibn Haja, which is an

authentic source, talks about and describes it. This is her

dedication to the masjid, her dedication to being a part of the

Muslim community and a part of the worship of the Muslim community.

But these are their narrations that we're not often exposed to,

and when we're not exposed to these women who went out of their

way to be a part of society who are critical for the way that

society changed when we don't make that a part of our normal

conversation, all we hear is you, religiously, in the eyes of Allah,

are only connected to your relationship status or

your motherhood status, super important,

but not the only things that define us Are you with me? Do you

agree with me? Well, if you disagreed with me, you don't have

a platform. I'm on the stage. I have the mic. I'm in the power of

privilege. It's really difficult.

This is privilege. It's okay to disagree. This is a very emotional

topic in our community, and that's okay, but what's important for us

is to recognize that just as we are so different, the women in the

time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam were very

different too.

So in the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there

were women who are part of the political process, who made baya

with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who she fat bin to

Abdullah, put in charge of the marketplace. These are women who

show us all different aspects of worshiping Allah. So when we are

trying to figure out what our roles are, when we are told

messages of it being better for us not to be out in society, for it

to be better for us not to be involved. Remember their examples.

These are women who showed us what it looked like to be on the

battlefield, what it looked like to pray in the masjid, even with

blood coming out, what it looked like to be a part of the prophetic

society, and what it look like to be our role models today in

America, where we can actually channel their examples. May Allah

bless your children if you are mothers. May Allah bless your non

children if you're not. May Allah make it easy for all of you to

seek what you're seeking and make it better than what you're

seeking, because it's for his sake you.