Maryam Amir – MCA Grand Qiyam Imam Suhaib Webb &
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
Sister who is studying at El ezhart, for you Egyptian folks,
who has a degree from UCLA. She went to San Jose State. You know,
what more would you want, really, as far as the intersections of
many great talents? So I decided just to speak really shortly, and
then, and I'm not using my male privilege to do this. So let's not
be constructed. I just wanted to, like, listen to her, right? That's
really my investment in this. And then also, at the same time, you
know, oftentimes local communities, A prophet is never
hated like he is in his own city or her own city. So oftentimes
local communities, we get so enamored with the guest speakers
and, you know, celebrity Imams, you know, we really failed to see
like great, great resources amongst us. So one of your
greatest resources in the bay is Merriam.
So
weekly class here at MCA or another community who understands
her value,
I would encourage sisters to organize. It's not just enough to
complain about patriarchy. You gotta organize to really affect
change in communities. And I know that's not a nice thing people
like to hear, but CS Lewis talks about, you know, moving from
dreams to labor. Everybody likes to drink, but very few people want
to move towards No, moving in causing something to happen. So
hope, you know, you start being utilized more. I know I have
benefited from her, you know, a lot. So the thing that I just
wanted to say quickly we watched now this incredible clip of
Muhammad Ali, his passion, his fluency, his swagger.
Is that if we're going to really think about framing what does his
life mean for us as American Muslims, it means really two
things and make it quick. The first is that a life that is
simply lived for material achievement is incomplete.
And that sounds very different than what we hear, because we hear
about, you know, getting into that good UC, which is important,
you know, settling down and making a six figure salary before you hit
29 marrying, you know the trophy man or trophy woman, Zane or Gigi,
Pulling off, you know these incredible feats having that I
uh, it serves hubris. So you know he, at the height of his career,
is able to stand up for black Americans, right? He understood
the struggle of his people in a time where black America
now there are still tremendous challenges with structural
privilege and racism, but in those days, it was not just theoretical
or,
you know,
restricted to certain pundits or candidates, but you had a very
structural bias that was rooted in white male privilege. So for him
to stand up at the height of his career and and understanding who
signed his paychecks and to still call them out and refused to
participate in an illegal war, required tremendous sacrifice. So
through that, he was able to gain influence. So the point is, he
didn't just achieve but he used his achievement for influence. The
Prophet Muhammad SAW THE BEST OF YOU are those who learn and teach,
right? You learn and then you use what you've learned to influence
SallAllahu, alaihi wasallam,
one of the great companions of the prophet in the time of Ramah, was
insulted by another man, as I mentioned yesterday. There's a lot
of people here. Weren't here who he came to know about them. And he
said, you know, this man insulted me. And then Sayyidina, I'm gonna
send how he said, listen, there was a guy named used to make these
mixtapes about people where, basically he would, like, it was
like the ether.
He made a mixtape about you. It was over
in his Arabic poetry, and he used to say, he We seek refuge in from
his tongue. So he wrote a poem about ibno banner. He said, You
know that in mo Karnataka, he said, like, don't try to be famous
and achieve great things. Just chill, feel.
And clothe your family. So he heard this, and he considered an
insult. He went to Ahmed, and he read this poem to Ahmed, and Amar
said, I don't what's wrong. All of us want to, like, feed our
families and clothe our families. So then he said to say, Now Ahmed,
no, you're not betuy, you're Habari, right? You're not really
from the people of the Arabic language, like from the desert. So
bring in someone who's a master. So they brought in Hasidic
methods, who is the poet of the Prophet sallallahu. And when he
heard it, he started to laugh, you know, profusely, and then say
Namaste. Said to him, like, why are you laughing? He said it as
though he defecated on his face.
That's what he said. And he said, what he said, Yeah. Then if the
turn to AD and said to insinuate that a companion of the Prophet
would only live for achievement as an insult,
to insinuate that the only reason I'm living is to take care of my
family, but not to really bring some kind of Meta benefit to the
people around me is the greatest insult to me,
right? So thinking about our lives now, the schools we're getting
into, the careers, the trajectories that we're taking, we
should also begin to think about, how can we turn that into a
potential influence in helping whatever field of work, we are
involved the second lesson from Muhammad Ali's life that most
people tend not to want to talk about, and I think is extremely,
extremely relevant to each and every one of us, is the fact that
he was very honest with his struggles as a Muslim.
And the best book you can read about this is the book of Islam I
will read is the best book I've read on Muhammad Ali's life.
Because, you know, towards the end, the establishment likes to
portray our heroes in a way that makes the establishment look good,
you know. So now Malcolm X is, like, really friendly and super
nice. You know, he was down with everything. His daughter said, my
father died a black nationalist right, unapologetically in the
struggle for his people and the liberation of black people. But
you know, if you hear and that's the danger of heroes when they
die, the narrative becomes now, Tupac was like, you know, like
Fetty one,
where, you know, these were people who were very much invested in
addressing structural injustices and and Muhammad Ali, one of the
things that we as Muslims tend to do when people die is we tend to
like mention them as though they were like, almost angelic. And I
have a problem with this, because most of us aren't angelic,
right? So my my relationship with Muhammad Ali is as a convert,
right? As a man, as a convert, as a white man, hearing his struggle
against privilege, how do I own up to my privilege? Born in America
with tremendous privilege, how do I disinvest from white male
privilege? Like that's what I can take from Muhammad Ali. But then
most importantly is his honesty about struggles, and and he was
very open with the idea of at the age of 20, in his early 20s, he's
heavyweight champion of the world. Everything is put in front of him,
and he's a Muslim, and he's a student of Imam tevini Muhammad.
And his ability to balance submission to God and submission
to his passions, right? It's his eloquence on this issue is almost
like Sufi, right? It's very honest, it's very powerful. And
that's really a great lesson for us, that you can still make
mistakes and you can still struggle, and Allah will still
bless you to have a good life where you are influencing people
even after your death, right? He planned his funeral five years
ahead of ahead of time. So that's all I wanted to talk about. Really
framing his life into two areas, achievement, just for the sake of
achievement is incomplete, and then the reality of the struggle.
And now I'm going to listen
to the shaytaan, but that's all I have to say. Then.
The
during the time of the Prophet Muhammad, sallAllahu, alayhi wa
sallam, there were a group of people who were sitting and
chilling, and another companion walked by them. So this other
companion walks by, and one of the guys in the group is like by
Allah. I hate that man, for the sake of Allah. And one of the
people who was with him was like, that's a really messed up thing to
say. So he ran over and told him what he said. So this man went to
the Prophet sallallahu, sallam, and he asked him to bring this
other person over so that they could figure out what's going on.
So this person ended up being his neighbor.
And here are the reasons that he hated this man for the sake of
Allah. The first one is because this man only prays the five
prayers. And in his wording, the good and the bad all pray the five
prayers. He should be praying extra, but he only does the
obligations. So the guy being hated on was like, Do I like not
pray, my prayers? Do I not make Mulu properly? And the neighbor's
like, no, no, no. So. And they're like, what's next? So the haters
like, well, he only fasted on the lawn. He doesn't fast any other
time. The Good, The Bad. Everybody fasted on the lawn. So the
neighbor is like, Well, have you ever seen me break my fast? Have I
ever not fasted when I need to be fasting? So he's like, No. So then
finally, the third thing, he only pays zakat. He doesn't give a
bunch of extra money. So he's like, Have I ever not given as a
cat? Have I ever not given someone who's asked me for something, and
the neighbor, the one who's doing the Hayden, was like, No, when the
Prophet told him, Ali was what I'm said. Perhaps he is better than
you, and sometimes in our community, the message that we
receive is that when we're not doing certain things that everyone
thinks we need to be doing, we're not doing enough. But Allah tells
us the way that we come closest to him is by doing the obligations.
There are people who have talked to me about feeling judged in the
community constantly. I know that many of us have gone through that
experience, but people have spoken with me, and I'm sure with my
amazing teacher, may Allah bless throughout the world, about things
like doubting their faith,
confused about identity and all the different facets of identity,
going through Depression, considering suicide, actually
trying suicide and self harm. People have talked to me about the
types of addictions that they have with * or with alcohol. People
have talked to me about issues they've had in relationships they
shouldn't have been in, things that they shouldn't have gotten
involved with, and they're regretting years later, but don't
know how to fix issues between parents and children and family
members and marriages, and also dealing with community members
who, when they themselves are going through a hardship and
they're crying and they're going through a lot, are being told the
reason you're suffering is because you don't remember Allah enough.
You're sinning, and that's why you're depressed. You lost your
child. Why are you still crying? This is the decree of Allah. The
messages that sometimes we hear in our community are so polarized and
can be so difficult to accept as an individual who is not whole,
who is constantly broken, who's making mistakes, that when I come
into the message and I'm seeking that type of solace and seeking
that type of support from the only one that I know can give it to me.
If I feel like in the message, I can't find that type of love and
that type of peace, then that's not just a reflection of the issue
of just not being able to find that with other believers. And I
don't mean just this message. I just mean the concept of coming
into a space of worship. But if I can't find it there, then does
that mean that I'm not worthy to God? Sometimes we begin to wonder,
Is God mad at me? Does he hate me? Am I cursed? And if I can't bring
my taboos to him, then where can I bring my taboos to but there is no
such thing as having a taboo with Allah. It's kind of with Taylor.
And unlike everyone else, who sometimes, even if they want to
understand, they can, he is the one who will always get what we're
going through, and that is why he is our safe space. So tonight,
Inshallah, we're going to talk about our three different ways,
three different emotions to come to Allah, asking him to be our
safe space when we don't know where else to turn to. The first
one is having hope in Him. Subhan wa taala. It's an incredible
narration that I heard by Imam sueb When I was a kid, and it
really changed my life. May Allah, bless you. There was a man who
walked into the mesh of the Prophet. So Allah had
and he was saying, my sins, my sins. He was just so overcome by
all the messed up things he had done, and he didn't feel like
there was a way out. So the Prophet saw how distraught he was,
and he didn't ask him, What did you do? Share with me what's going
on. He was just like, sit down. And he told him to say, Allah.
Took How sad. I mean, oh, Allah, your forgiveness is greater than
my sins and demon Hamadi and your mercy, I have more hope in than my
own deeds. So the Prophet SAW, told him, say it once. Then he
said, Say it again. Then he say, he said, a third time. And then he
told him to stand up. And the powerful thing about this is that
he said he's forgiven in our in our experiences with topa and
coming back to Allah, when we feel terrible about something, when we
feel like we want to change, sometimes we hold on to that guilt
for years and years and years. This man was told by Allah Prophet
Phil I said, Let stand up. You've been forgiven. He didn't say,
stand up, and in six months you'll be forgiven. Did they stand up?
Feel guilty for the next 70 years, then you'll be forgiven. Didn't
say stand up. Ask everybody about how you should fix your life, and
then you'll be forgiven, although, of course, we should seek support
and guidance. The Promised law is in them, echo of something which
is which is central in the Quran, and that is about asking for
Allah's forgiveness and being forgiven.
It. How do you know that you've been forgiven? When you ask Allah
for forgiveness, you have hope that will He will forgive you
because he's promised that. He says to us over and over in the
Quran about how he accepts the Toba of the one who comes to Him,
He says, oh my, oh, you have wronged. Your souls. Don't have
don't despair in the Mercy of Allah, and even Mr. Oud, he said
this, this verse is the greatest relief. Don't ever have mercy.
Excuse me, don't ever have despair in the Mercy of Allah. One of the
greatest sins is not just things that we consider massive. It's
having despair in Allah, because he wants you to have hope in Him.
This having, having hope is something so, so, so central to
Islam, that when we feel like we're not good enough, he's
already rewarding us for that struggle. One time come to that,
memories of bread, and I was doing a review with my chef, and I'm not
Arab and I wasn't like, I wasn't on my verses, like, I kept messing
up, and then I started to cry because my chef kept stopping me.
And he was like, no, no, no, Chef, my headphones on me. Allah, bless
him. So then he was like, why are you crying? And I'm like, I just
You messing up. I can't get myself together today. And he started
laughing. He's like, don't you hear me laughing? He's like, don't
you want to know why I'm laughing? Because you're not Arab you live
in America. You have a million things going on, and you're trying
to have a relationship with the Quran. You have a million things
going on, but you're trying to pray. You have a million things
going on, but you're fasting your mom a lot, even if sometimes you
hate it when you feel like people around you are weeping in a Salah
and yet you don't feel anything when you come for 10 weeks,
because sometimes you don't even understand what's being said when
you feel like you're normal. Dawn, this was going to be the month
that you're going to change your life, and yet everything's exactly
the same. But I'm just asking during the day, and some of us
can't even do that, and we feel so overcome with our guilt. But look
at that message that you're trying, the fact that you're
trying in a society that is constantly attacking you, is
something through which the Allah is already raising your ranks.
So coming to him with this hope, though, Allah, I'm hoping you're
going to forgive me. I'm hoping you're going to accept for me. I'm
hoping you're going to bless me. I have to hope in you, because you
know my struggle, even when nobody else does. The second thing is
coming to Allah with awe. So sometimes raise your hand if at
some point in your life someone said something to the effect of,
well, if you do that, Allah is going to be displeased with you,
and then you're going to go to *. Raise hand really high. Oh,
okay. What about hearing a parent not saying, your parent, a parent
figure, say something like, do you really want to Allah's Anger? That
thing is haram, but it's not even haram. They're just trying to,
like, control your behavior. They're just like, not sure how to
get you to like, do the right thing. But unfortunately, the way
that we've internalized that message over and over is having
fear of Allah. Is the way that I connect with him, which means that
I'm so afraid when I make a mistake, I don't know how to go
back to him. Sometimes the imagery that we get of * and of doom
and of death and of fear, all of this is so intense that sometimes
we don't know how to connect with him when we actually really,
really, really need to at the bottom of our life. We always need
to, but in that moment especially. But fear Subhanallah is not what
causes us to become petrified to the point we can't move having
fear of Allah, this concept of awe in Allah, it's just so that in our
hearts we can come back to him. We don't want to displease him. We
want to love him so much that we run to him. Imago deburi said that
fear is like a light in your heart, that when you want to
please Him, you run towards him. Subhan wa taala. So for example,
there was a sister who came to me. We were in hedge, and she was
sitting in a tent, and she was like, like, really, really, really
upset. And I was like, what's wrong? We had just done Arafat
that day. And she said, I didn't cry single tear. I didn't cry
anything. And I was like, Okay, well, the Prophet, Philip didn't
say, he didn't say, had just cried in Arafat. He said, hajis Arafat.
You did Arafat? And she's like, Yeah, but all this, you and I've
heard of a man. They all have listened every single sham was
like, if you don't cry today, when will you cry? If you don't cry
today, your heart is harder than the rock. And we hear this
message, and it's like, well, I didn't cry, so my heart must be
harder than a rock, a water crib was wrong with my heart. And yeah,
we all have diseases of the heart. Okay, I'm not saying that any of
us are pure, but the point is, the message that this person is
receiving is, if you are in hajj and you're not crying, then you
certainly don't have a sense of belief. But instead, we have this
awe of Allah,
that if we're in these places, in Omaha, in the holiest of spaces,
and we still can't feel it, that he, in his magnificence, knows
that about our situation, that in Subhanallah, this, this Allah,
tell who was created the heavens and the earth and everything in
the in the ocean, and all the bugs under the rug, and like
everything. And he knows what's happened. He knows everything. And
he's still listening to your thoughts in your heart. He knows
everything. And yet he's.
Still answering your DUA, that type of awe that even if I'm not
good enough right now, Oh Allah, make me beloved to you, that I
might not have the deeds to get there, but make me beloved to you.
I have this awe that I'm so afraid of being here, this pleasure I'm
going to run, run, run, try my best to do what's right, even if
I'm still making mistakes.
So the third thing, when we come to his Panama, taala, after having
this hope in Him, having this awe of him, is having love for him.
He is the one who puts love in our hearts, and he says, the ones who
indeed the ones who believe and who do righteous deeds, God will
put love in their hearts. What does that mean? It means that
Allah is Ibn Ashwood says, puts love in in the angels for us. He
puts love in between us for each other, and he puts love in the
hearts of good people for you. So that Allah's love is so great that
even like a number of people I know, converts who are clubbing,
and there are Muslims club, clubbing with them, and they're
drinking together, and they say, because somehow it randomly comes
up a Muslim, and I'm not supposed to do this, but still, their love
for God in that moment, in a space which isn't necessarily godly, is
so powerful that people become Muslim because of that
conversation. So imagine if we're here in the masjid. We're not in a
club right now, and Inshallah, still, God's love for us is so
great that the angels are surrounding this room, up to the
heavens and saying to Allah that these people are asking for your
forgiveness and mentioning every single one thy name, and Allah
will forgive us. InshaAllah having a type of love for him. Is Pamela
Tala. One time, a sister came up to me after I gave a lecture, and
this is okay for me to share. A lot of people, a lot of people.
You know, it's such an honor to be able to be in that space where
people ask those types of questions. But she she was crying,
and she was like, this is the very first time I've ever thought that
God didn't hate me. She said that she had grown up being told that
if she displeases her parents, God's not going to accept her
prayers. She was really depressed, and she got involved with people
who accepted her for who she was. Unfortunately, they were also
heavy drug addicts, and so she got really involved with drugs, and
eventually she tried to commit suicide. This is not one story. I
have so many people who unfortunately gone through the
same process. May God make it easy on everybody. But in that moment
when her parents found out, they're like, Well, if you were
only a righteous person, you wouldn't be going through all of
this.
And so Panama, imagine the first time she's telling me, like, you
know, we're talking about someone who's a college student. She's
like, this the first time I ever thought that God might actually
love me, that God doesn't hate me.
Allah's kind of went to Isla tells us over and over that he loves the
one who comes back to him. It's not the one who's perfect, it's
the one who's trying. There's sweetness in that struggle to come
back to him. There is a man my teacher's teacher once was giving
up, and a man walked into the message and he looked like he
looked like he was kind of confused. And afterwards, he came
up to the to the Imam. He said, I want to ask you about something
that you said. So the Imam has said a Hadith of the Prophet. So
Kali Matan, two words, habifa, Tanya, Ali stand are light on the
tongue. Falti, Latin, they're heavy on the scale. How that
Habib, a tiny, little Rahman. They're beloved to Allah, to a
man, subhanAllah, you will be having Subhanallah Ali. So he
wrote this hadith that these two words, subhanAllah, you will be
having Subhanallah Ali are really, really beloved to Allah. This man
hadn't gone to the masjid a single time as an adult. He had chosen
after teenager that he wasn't going to pray, but he decided one
day he's just going to go into the Masjid. So he goes into the
Masjid. He hears this hadith, and what he used to do was go, go to
work, go to cafe, go home really late and not spend time with his
family either. He heard this, he went home to his family, just like
family meeting. He gets his wife and his kids, and he says, Have
you heard the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi watan towards strong
they're heavy on the scale. Have you been tiny? Their beloved to
Allah subhanallahu
wa.
So after that moment, after sharing this with his family, he
slowly started to change his habits. He stopped going to the
hook cafe. He started going to work more. And his friends were
like, hey, where have you been? I'm seeing in a long time. So he's
like, haven't you heard the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam, said these two words, and then he told him, subhanAllah,
have his SubhanAllah. So a few months passed away, passed by, and
he is spending more time with his family. He's going to the masjid.
He's still seeing his friends, but his habits have changed, and all
of a sudden he gets sick. So he's laying in bed, and he tells his
son, who knows where the Imam lives? He's like, go talk to that
Imam who originally told me that hadith. So he comes against the
Imam. So the Imam comes, and this man is laying in his bed, and he
opens his eyes, and he says, Have.
That you heard the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said
two words, they are light on the tongue. They are heavy on the
scale. They're beloved to Allah, subhanallahu wa Lim and then he
passed away. That was a very last breath he took saying this habla,
Prophet, sallAllahu, sallam. But this one Hadith of the Prophet
changed his life because of his love, the immense love he felt in
that one narration caused him to slowly change his habits. And
since that's all they are, they're just habits that we've instilled.
We can all work on slowly working on that relationship with Allah,
even if we're all struggling with so many different things.
So this man, out of his love for Allah, he changed slowly, and he
passed away on that but he also had that hope that Allah would
forgive him, and he had that awe of Allah's incredible mercy. And
so we take these three emotions, this hope, this awe and this
extreme love, and we use them to make a major life key. And this is
it, making dua. So coming to Allah and having a conversation with
him. When I lived in Cairo, there was this Imam, Chef riddle. He had
an incredible, incredible da he would make every single night. I
was barely learning Arabic, but I could catch a few things. And he
would say, oh, Allah, if you turn us away, who is going to turn who
is going to answer us? If you don't answer us, who is going to
answer us? Answer us. Answer us. He knew that if we ask Allah with
certainty, as the Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam
taught us, that He will answer uj Allah unto munab in ijab, and
you're certain that Allah is going to answer you. And Asmaa said
that, the Prophet says, taught them to make dua, even if your
shoelaces break apart, make God for everything. So we have this
like intense certainty that Allah is going to answer us, and he
tells us about Allah, call upon me, I'm going to answer you. But
what is the what is the point they're calling upon Him, and He
will answer us when we call upon Him. So Allah is telling us that
he's going to answer us. That doesn't necessarily mean we're
going to get what we're asking for. Specifically in child's going
to be better, or maybe it's going to be Allah protect us from
something that is going to be harmful. Maybe we'll get it in the
hereafter. But the point is, you literally can never lose with God,
and you can never lose with Allah if we do one good thing, he
rewards us as if it's 10 to seven minutes, way more amount of time
that we can't count if we do something messed up, it's written
down as one bad game. How can you ever lose with someone who's
always giving you, already giving you a head start, that even if you
think of wanting to do something bad and you don't do it, it only
is written down as one bad thing. Allah's paradox is on our side. He
says, What? What would Allah do with your punishment if you
believe and you're grateful and Imam to be when he talked about
this, he says that there's no need for Allah to punish a believing, a
believing person who who's grateful to him. What is Allah
going to do with your punishment? It's not going to it's not going
to benefit him in any way. How can we be somebody who seeks his his
love? How can we be somebody who comes to Him with these emotions?
We use him as our safe space. Panama, taala, God is our Safe
Space no matter what we're going through. So in that moment where I
feel like I don't know who to turn to, don't forget who you going to
call, who
you going to call, major key, make dua to Allah and say, Ya, Allah,
I'm looking, I'm looking for my my life, to have peace, yes. And
then, oh, my Lord, if your child decides, then they're no longer
going to respond to your messages. If your parents are just
constantly asking you to get married, get married, get married.
And you don't know how else to just make this magically happen,
and you're really, really frustrated if you are going
through difficulties in your family life or with anybody, and
you don't know who to turn to when you're struggling with your
identity, when you're not even sure if God exists, go to Him and
He will answer you because he promises you what he does. Said, I
carry that D I'm Lisa in India. Buddy, Uji would even die. When my
servant asks you of the abus and I answer the call of the one who
calls. So tonight, don't leave here doubting whether or not Allah
is listening to you or whether or not you're beloved to him.
Remember that he loves and appreciates the struggle that you
go through, even when you yourself hate yourself for the things that
you're doing. Allah is there to accept us, as long as we try our
best to come back to him, and even when it's not our best and we're
struggling. The only question is, are you willing to put in the
effort to call to Him and He will answer you?