Maryam Amir – Loving the Quran
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
When
I
was in high school, my family and I drove to the masjid for taraweeh
and Ramadan, and I had never actually experienced a Ramadan
where I felt any sort of emotional connection? I was in the car, and
we were listening to the Quran, and the reciter started to
suddenly stop and just cry. He started to bawl as he was reciting
these verses. And I had never seen such a reaction to the recitation
of the Quran like this. And because my family is not Arab and
we don't, we don't understand, we didn't understand exactly what the
messages were, I just was staring out the window and thinking, What
is he crying for? What is The Shih crying about? And I asked my dad,
and he said the general message was that he was thinking about the
hereafter. The Imam was reciting the ayat that had to do with the
Hereafter. And so we went to the masjid, and for the first time, I
used to fast Ramadan because it was expected. I used to pray a
certain amount because it was expected. And after that, I would
go with my friends, and we would hang out around the Masjid. But
that was the very first time I sat in the masjid and just continued
to listen to the Quran, thinking about what this actually means. I
went home that night, and I decided that I was going to open
up that surah and start reading the translation of those verses so
that I could understand for myself why that Imam had such an
emotional reaction to those verses. It was the end of Suratul
mumin, and as the ayat kept going and talking about that day and the
conversation of people with Allah and just the recognition of the of
the reality of this life being so short, I was emotionally impacted
like that Imam was, and I chose that I was going to memorize that
Surah right there. That was the first Surah that I consciously
memorized. And I didn't really know Arabic. I was super slow in
the recitation. I didn't know any Tajweed. The way I memorized
wasn't by looking at the at the Arabic. It was by looking at the
transliteration and listening at the same time and memorizing the
translation so that I could understand what it means, because
the impact of the meaning was what caused that Sheik, that Sheikh's
recitation to waver so intensely because he was so impacted by the
words of Allah. Like Hassan Al Basri says the Quran when you're
listening to it, recognize that it is the words of God Almighty sent
to you on the on the lips of the Prophet Muhammad, on the tongue of
the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. SallAllahu, alaihi
wasallam. Now I used to go to Quran class. When my parents
encouraged me to go, I had taken a sticky note, and I wrote out the
verses on the sticky note, and I would sit and as the as the she
was looking at her must have to see if I was correct or not. I
would look at the sticky note and I would recite the Quran that I
was supposedly have memorized just like that, and Subhanallah that at
that time I wasn't connected to the Quran as a child, I didn't
particularly feel like that spark, but that emotional moment was one
of many in which caused me to fully decide that I want to be
committed to This book, and my story is just one of so many of
millions of people, many of you who have the same exact story, one
of the Imams of the Haram in our contemporary times. He didn't
start as this shaykh who just loved the Quran since the minute
he was born. He was someone who would spend a lot of time watching
TV, a lot of time playing games, not really that interested. And
one day he was waiting for someone to come, and he was standing
outside, and when they arrived, the door opened to the car, and in
the car there was a recitation playing, and that recitation was
Sura Al Kahf, and in it the sheik was Min shawi. He started to
recite waja at sakul, Moti, belhama, Kunt, Amin Hu tahid,
Subhan Allah, in that moment, this ayah is talking about the reality
of death, the shortness of this life, being held accountable, and
that shirk, that was the first time he woke up hearing the Quran
caused him to wake up, and he said that that moment didn't change his
life, but it was the first one in which he decided that he wants to
start making a change. So he started going to the masjid. And
when he would hear an imam or say the Quran, and he felt like these
verses speak to me, he would go back and he would remember.
Verses, until one day, he was the imam who was leading taraweeh, and
he was reading off the Mushaf itself. And by the next year, he
said, I want to have this book memorized. I want to recite it
from my heart. And so he did, and he eventually became the Imam of
the Haram, the Imam of Mecca. And this story is a contemporary one,
but it's very similar to one that we have from our past, full day
live in yeld, who was a great scholar in our history. Full day,
I've been yelled, is quoted in so many books of of scholar,
scholarly knowledge. But he didn't start as a scholar. He was
actually known as a robber. Parents would scare their kids,
and they would tell them, Go to sleep, or fool Dale is going to
get you behave, or fool Dale is going to get you. And one day he
was planning to rob a home, and he stood on the roof of that home,
and there was an older man he recited in the Quran, and he was
reciting Alam, yet, Nili, Lavina, amenu and talubo only the krila,
hasn't it be become time for the people who have believed to be
impacted by the words of Allah? And
when he heard this, fudil Ibn iyl said, yes, it's time. He made
Toba, and he became the Imam of the Haram, and his example is the
example that we have from the Companions RadiAllahu, Anhu om
Ayman radiah, aha Abu Bakr Anna, RadiAllahu, anhuma. They decided
that they were going to go visit her as a Prophet, sallAllahu,
alaihi wasallam used to do when he was alive. And when they went to
her, she started to cry. And they said, Don't you know that? What is
with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is better for, excuse
me, what is with Allah for the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam is better and, um, amen, she responded by saying, I'm not
crying because I don't know that. What with that, what is with Allah
is better for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I'm
crying because the revelation has been cut off from the heavens. And
when Abu Bakr and AMR heard this, they began to cry. And so um Ayman
and Abu Bakr and Allahu anhu, they're just crying, and they're
crying. Why? Because the revelation is no longer being sent
down. They no longer have the revelation to interact with
physically in their lives. Surato la Naram, 70,000 angels brought
that Surah down. Abu huray radila, and who mentions that when you
recite the Quran, it's a four as a form of bringing angels into your
home, and a form of causing the shayateen to leave it. When you
recite the Quran, angels that roam the Earth. Look for people who are
just reciting the Quran. They just look for you. They want to hear
your recitation, whether you're stumbling and you sound like nails
on a chalkboard or whether you're reciting like the angels. They are
looking for you, excuse me, they're looking for you. And with
their presence comes protection, and it comes mercy, and it comes
Baraka,
yet SubhanAllah. How often I hear things like, What is wrong with
our ummah? We're so disconnected from the Quran our youth, they're
so into Tiktok. They're onto social media. They're not
connected to the Quran. What is wrong with our Ummah And
subhanAllah when Imam Suhaib, may Allah bless him and protect him
and increase him and his family, when he was speaking and he
touched on this point, I was thinking, Imam Suhaib was my very
first mentor. You the investment he made in myself in the youth who
grew up when he was the Imam of our masjid, may Allah bless him,
he didn't cast us aside and say, Oh, they're just youth. There's no
potential there. He invested in us, and he helped us learn not to
be so afraid of ourselves, to help us grow in a religious space and
find empowerment in that spirituality. That message is not
the message that I'm hearing from young people today. I speak with a
lot of young professionals, with college students, with high school
students. The messages that they tell me are things like their
parents say, the reason you got into that car accident is because
you don't read enough. Quran, the reason that you are not successful
in what you're doing is because you're not reading enough. Quran,
the reason you're depressed is because you're not reading enough.
Quran, you're not even worth being a part of this family because you
don't read enough Quran, because you didn't memorize the Quran. I
actually hear statements like this and ones that are worse. And when
we talk about, where is our Ummah why aren't we connected to the
Quran. We need to rephrase that question and ask, what are we
doing as individuals to cause people to feel like they have to
run away from the Quran? We have so much spiritual trauma in our
communities when the Quran is weaponized by parents or by
community leaders or by.
Prayers, of course, not everyone, not at all. Well, we have very
real trauma where people are coming to the Quran and they can't
open it. They are shaking because of a way that it was weaponized
when they were a child, that their love was dependent a person, a
caregiver's love was dependent on whether or not a child had any
type of connection with the Quran, and when we give that message that
you are not worthy, you are not good enough. You are not worthy of
my love, unless you've memorized a certain portion of the Quran,
unless you're reading a certain amount in Arabic, even if you
don't understand what you're saying, unless you reach this
certain level in madrasa, if you're not reaching this
particular goal, then you are not worthy of love. Then the message
that that gives, which is even more terrifying, is that you are
not worthy of the love of Allah, subhanho wa taala, and when we
make the love of Allah dependent, when we make his acceptance and
his willingness to forgive, dependent on how much work a
person is doing with the Quran, then we are causing people to feel
like when they are the their most vulnerable, when they are at their
lowest, when they need nothing more than to go back to the book
of Allah, that
that's the one place they can't go because they're never going to be
good enough for it.
Versus a therapist told me that, why is dua so healing? Why is
reciting the Quran so healing? Because one of the most healing
forms of therapy is simply just being able to speak without being
interrupted, knowing you have a safe space to express all that
you're going through without feeling like someone is going to
cut you off and say you're wrong and your feelings don't matter.
That is what the Quran gives us, a place where we can open it and
we're able to find guidance, we're able to find validation, and we're
able to find purpose. And we're going to talk about these three
when we look at the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi,
wasalam Ibn ama rodi Allahu anhuma, one day, he was reciting,
sort of multi sore thumb motafeh, and he was reciting, and he was
and as he was reciting, he got to a
Abu Asmaa tafim, he got to an ayah that was yomay akumu nasudi, Rabbi
la Alameen. When he got to this verse, he started to cry, and he
couldn't continue. He just kept crying and crying and crying. And
as he was crying, subhanAllah, he had to stop his recitation, and he
was the same person who said that he it is more beloved to him that
he would cry out of the awe and this Krisha of Allah subhanho wa
taala, this fear mixed with this humility and this hope and this,
this, this, this amazement at Allah subhanho wa taala, thou
would be more beloved to him than giving in charity 1000 Dirham. Now
Ibn AMR ODI Allahu, anhuma, he said that crying privately for the
sake of Allah in this way is more beloved to him than in a huge
amount of charity. And I want to contextualize that, because
charity is a humongous, great work, because you're not only
benefiting yourself, you're benefiting other people. But who
are the seven who on that day, the day of resurrection, who are
protected under the shade of the Throne of Allah, subhanho wa
taala, two of them are mentioned right behind each other. One of
them is the person who gives without measure, the person who
gives so much, so selflessly. And the one behind that person not
behind, but the one who's mentioned after that person is the
one who cries privately out of this hashya of Allah subhanahu wa
taala.
And most of the companions were not super rich people roll the
Allahu Anhu. So many of them, like many of us, we can't give a
million dollars every month. Some people can Masha Allah, but most
of us can't do that.
So for those people who are able to give, whether they don't make
that much and they still give, or whether they make Allah and they
give,
that that quality is for them. But that's not everyone, but what is
something everyone can do. It's what Ibn amarillohoan, who said
that you are emotionally impacted by those verses. What did he say?
He said, When you listen to the Qur'an, bring your heart up so
that when you're listening, you join your heart with what you're
hearing together, so that you can be emotionally impacted by the
verses.
Now, when we talk about the Quran as a safe space, a space of
validation, look at the example of amaraldi Allahu anhu, one of the
companions, mentioned that he was in the final row of the masjid
when Amarillo.
Allahu, Anhu was leading salah, and Amma recited from Surah,
Yusuf, and he said, and he began to cry in NAMA, ashku, Bethy,
wahozni, illallah, WA Alam, Amin, Allah, himala, taala. Moon,
indeed, I cry. I complain this sadness only to Allah, and I know
from Allah what you don't know, Amar ODI, Allahu Anhu. Who is he?
He's the Khalifa. He's somebody who was harsh towards Muslims
before his conversion. He slapped his sister, and because of that
moment and the remorse he felt, his heart was open to hearing the
verse of the Surah Al tawha, which is what guided him to Allah, the
Quran is what changed the heart of Amarillo on so he is already
someone who's promised paradise, and yet, in his lifetime, the
responsibility that he holds weighs him down. He sits and he
reflects on his past. He's worried about his future, and he is crying
while he's reciting, I complain only to Allah, and he is quoting,
he is reciting what Allahu, Allah is quoting in the Quran, Yaqub
alaihi salam. Why is Prophet YALI his Salam making this statement?
It's because, after decades, one of the scholars of tafsir say 40
years between the time that he lost Prophet Yusuf alaihi salam.
And the time that Prophet Yusuf, alaihi salam was rejoined with his
father, and he's losing another son, and he's losing another son,
be the manipulation of his own children. Imagine how that's
making him feel emotionally. And after all this time, when his
family is saying you're gonna keep remembering Yusuf until you lose
yourself, until you become like, you're not able to even like, oh,
takuna, min al haliki, and you're just going to be destroyed. What
does he say? I only go back to Allah. I only complain to Allah.
Now that doesn't mean you don't work with a therapist. You work
with therapists. You work with people who are willing to support
you through your process. But also look, when somebody tells you,
hasn't it been long enough? Haven't you been depressed for
long enough? Haven't you cried over this loss for long enough?
Look at the Prophet Yale his Salam, and he's still weeping, and
he's still crying after decades. But he does this with Allah and
Amar, ODI, Allahu, anhu, in his timing. How many, how many years
later, is weeping and crying over and over as he recites this ayah.
Why? Because the Quran is a safe space. No matter what you're going
through, the Quran is open to hearing the type of pain that you
experience. And it's Allah subhanho wa Taala speaking to you
as he listens to the pain that you're stating, he has verses that
comfort you through it. And finally, let's look at Aisha, all
the law and Ha, she was she was reciting with purpose, excuse me,
masrouk was reciting to her the men, Allahu, Alayna, wabakana, Ada
beam and she's just started making dua, making dua and just crying
and crying about this day, the Allah honors us with removing the
punishment and blessing us with, with, with we pray eternal
blessings. SubhanAllah. Look at how when we think about the
purpose that a person feels with the Quran, it's look at Aisha
radila. How much do we focus on women being mothers, which is so
important. But on the flip side, I have women messaging me constantly
wishing that they could be mothers, but they haven't been
able to conceive for over a decade. They haven't been able to
get married for over a decade. Aisha radiah anha, imagine how she
felt. Maybe she wanted to have children and she never could.
Where does she take that emotional reality? Where does she take
anything that she deals with, with her pain of losing her husband,
the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wa sallam. She takes that to the
Quran and she weeps, finding her purpose as a scholar, finding her
purpose as someone who leads an army, even though she was she was
regretful of her political position of that time, and of
course, that's something that we regret as an ummah. But she wasn't
afraid of who she was. Rode Allahu anha because the Quran gave her
purpose. When we look at this concept of feeling emotional
connection. It's also important to recognize that not everyone is
going to cry, and it's not a requirement to cry when you hear
the Quran. Abu Bakr al the says that the people of Yemen came and
they were hearing the Quran, and they began to cry. And Abu Bakr
says, Abu Bakr the says, hakida, Kuna. This is how we used to be,
and then our hearts and then the hearts became hard. Who is making
the statement? Abu Bakr, ODI, Allahu Anhu is saying we used to
cry, and then our hearts became hard. Don't focus on and then our
hearts became hard. Focus on who makes that statement? If Abu Bakr
rode Allahu Anhu.
Someone of his great status in the Companions could listen to the
Quran, and sometimes they weren't crying. Sometimes their emotions
were not like other times, what about me and you? The Quran isn't
asking us to prove our love for it by bawling every time we hear it.
We are asked to look at the actions that we are going to do.
How are we going to know our actions by actually reading it in
a language that we understand. Make it a point to read the Quran
every day, just one page a day at a minimum, in the language that
you understand. Bring your heart and focus on it. Go to work
through therapy if you need to, if it's been a space of hurt for you
and reconnect with the book of Allah, because when you recite it,
he sends angels to surround you. He loves hearing you say it. He
loves and praises and rewards and brings benefit and blessings every
single time you recite in the Quran, your voice matters to him.
So go back to him, and never underestimate the power that the
Quran will bring to your life. So panic Allahumma behind the
commission, when that Elaine,
salam alaikum, Sheik.