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We need to stop speaking about hijab and
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separation right now.
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Over and over, I'm hearing conversations on how
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to prevent sexual abuse in the future, and
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two of the solutions I've consistently seen is
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that we need to encourage men and women
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to segregate and separate more, that only men
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should be teaching men and boys, that only
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women should be teaching girls and women, and
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that women need to realize the importance of
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wearing hijab appropriately.
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When we center the discussion on prevention measures
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for sexual assault on dress and on segregation,
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what we do is demonstrate a complete lack
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of understanding of the nature of what abuse
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actually is, which is the abuse of power
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and control.
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We are not having a discussion of two
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adults who found each other attractive, neither of
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which was in a position of religious authority,
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who had a relationship consensually.
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We are talking about sexual violence.
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We're talking about * and grooming and spiritual
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abuse.
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These types of injustices can be perpetrated by
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a Qur'an teacher who's a man towards
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a little boy.
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Perpetrators can be a father and a mother
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towards their own son or daughter.
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If our solutions are going to say we
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need to be more separate, we need to
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wear more hijab, how do they apply in
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either of these circumstances?
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The discussions we need to be having right
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now in terms of preventative measures need to
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focus on systems of accountability.
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How our community is going to provide resources,
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rehabilitation for victims, survivors who are navigating the
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trauma and needing to heal from a spiritual
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lens need to actually be focusing on accountability
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for perpetrators and how to create the culture
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of accountability.
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And predators will work to breach preventative measures,
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which is why systems of accountability are so
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critical as a deterrent.
