Maryam Amir – Doubts about women in Islam
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There
was
a scholar named um death, and she would sit in the compound of
mestill APSA, and she would give lectures. And amongst her students
was Abu Asmaa, who was one of the kulasa of the Muslim ummah, and he
would sit and listen to her lectures, and when it was time to
pray, he would assist in going to Salah. So we have mister Al Aqsa,
which is one of the greatest, the third holiest space in Islam,
Medina. There was a scholar named Fatima Sheikha. Fatima who would
who came with the caravan from Syria to make Hajj, and she would
sit where the grave of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam is.
There is an area that's kind of covered. If you've ever been to
Medina, you may have seen like a wall that's covering that space,
there's a narration of a scholar who viewed her as she sat
reclining on that area. And she would teach narrate Hadith. And
scholars who were men would sit and listen to this narration of
Hadith, and then by her hand, she would write the ijaza for their
listening from her their ijazah is the licensee that you are licensed
to teach this narration, as I've taught this narration to you, and
has been taught all the way back to the time of the Prophet
sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam. This is in the masjid of Medina mesh.
And then we have the Mecca narrations of women scholars who
would come from all over the world to make Hajj, and they would sit
and men and women would come, students of knowledge would come
to Mecca in the Haram surrounding the Kaaba, as they would teach
from these books, as they were some of the greatest narrators of
their Time in Hadith. This is in Mecca, the holiest city in Islam.
For many of you who have been to Mecca and Medina, raise your hand
if you've been to Mecca or Medina.
How many of you saw a woman teaching in Mecca or Medina or in
mesh Al? Raise your hand. The one woman who's raising her hand. Did
you see a woman teaching woman? In this woman's section
inside of the masjid, there are chairs right now in the masjid of
Medina, where a mustea, who is a woman scholar, will sit, and she
will teach women, and she will give the knowledge, the sacred
knowledge, that was taught in that Masjid two other women. But when I
spoke to someone who was growing up in Saudi Arabia, who is now in
her 60s, she told me, as a young girl, she used to run around
masjid and nebuli and there were no barriers in any part of the
masjid that she could access every part of the masjid and go and see
and experience what that space was like. So the experience of women
over time has shifted in these places. We don't see women
teaching in Mecca right now, if you go visit mesh Al Aqsa, you
will see women teaching because this the the area of meshful Aqsa
is very different from the way that Medina and
Mecca are set up. Meshful Aqsa is a huge open compound, and so when
I had the blessing of going to Mitchell, a son lecturing there.
There was the Imam of national Aksa Sheik Yusuf abusina, and I
was sitting with him, and he was lecturing and I was translating,
or I would, I would lecture later, when he wasn't there, we had
another Sheik, Sheik Hasid, with us, and he would lecture. But this
setup where a woman can lecture in a space, in His holy space to the
general community is really only available right now in Mishra Al
Aqsa and Sheik Yusuf, when he was with us, he was present and he was
accessible for women today, it's impossible to me that Imam of the
Haram in Mecca or the Imam of Mishra namawi in Medina, it's just
not part of the culture. Does that make it wrong for women to meet
the Imams of these great places? No, but it's simply not the
reality, infrastructurally or architecturally, of what the
holiest spaces have today. And that discussion is when we're
going to be having over time inshallah through the series. But
what I'd like to focus on right now is the message that when we
choose to continue different infrastructures or architectures
in different spaces, what does that send to women today? So when
we think about our Imams, who are the great contributors to Islamic
law, what are some of the names that come up in your mind the
Imams, who are men who we we quote all the time, and we talk about as
the men who have built Islamic scholarship. What are names that
come to mind?
Imam Malik. Give me another one.
Imam Abu Hanifa, yes, another one. I.
Imam buchari, another one.
Ibn give me one more.
Imam Al hazadi. Yes, when we look at men whose names we discuss as
the men who have have contributed to the building of a legal system,
there's something that the majority of them have in common,
whether it's Ibn Taymiyyah or Ibn qayyim, whether it's a Suki or
Ali, whether it's Imam Malik or Imam Ashe, right? What is a common
thread that they all have in their lives? What would you say it could
possibly be
Say it louder. They're men, but they have something else in common
soup. Super loud,
Strong Mothers, close
leadership. Give me another one.
He jazz up from women, yes, their teachers were women. Their
teachers were amongst the greatest scholars of their time who were
women and these great men, their rulings were impacted by what they
learned from women, and then when they made those rulings, and they
had women who were their students, those students who continued to
teach other men over time and other women impacted the way that
we See The rulings today. Why this is important is because right now,
in our greater communal discourse, there are a lot of women who make
statements such as, I can't trust any man. I don't trust male
scholarship. I can't trust that. This is actually something that's
an obligation when men are the ones who came up with that. When
we look at our history, what we see is that men and women were
actively part of scholarship, actively part of developing the
legal system, actively part of recognizing the difference between
Sharia and filth and the application in our time today,
Sharia is what was revealed from Allah. So we have the Quran and we
have the Sunnah. Now, obviously the Quran is untouchable. We have
the Quran as divinely revealed. The Sunnah needs to go through
authentic authentication. So there may be parts of the Sunnah that
people take and say, this part of the Sunnah is something that we
want to do to follow the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam. But
in reality, that's a fabricated statement. And maybe because
scholarship was not available to a particular space, and they were
not aware that it's fabricated, that it's made up, they started
turning that hadith into a policy that they implemented. Let's look
at an example of that, there's a statement of faulty model, the
Allahu Anhu who says something to the effect that it's best for a
woman to never be seen and never be heard. And the Prophet
salallahu alaihi wasallam response to this and says that we are one,
one of another. Has anyone heard this statement before about faulty
model? The Allahu Anhu? Has anyone ever seen it in practice. What
does this statement look like in practice?
What do you think of when you think of a policy or a cultural
practice that comes from this type of statement, if
it's better for a woman to never be heard and better for a woman to
never be seen, according to the statement of fabricated statement
of faulty model, and the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam
affirms that. Does that mean that women should ever be giving
lectures? No. Does that mean that women should ever leave the house
unless absolute, dire necessity? No. But this statement is not
authentic. So if we have a place that hasn't had the mentorship of
scholarship, who can understand when a statement is fabricated, or
when a statement is authentic from the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
salam. It impacts the way that people see women in society. And
if the people, when I make the statement, people are the ones
creating policy, what kind of policies are they creating for a
particular area? And if that means we have individuals who may have
come from a particular area and then come to the United States and
then built a masjid, and in that masjid, women should never go to
the masjid in the first place. What is that going to look like
for a woman's access to the masjid? And if there's a three
year old who grew up to be a five year old little girl, three year
old girl grew up to be a five year old girl who then became a 12 year
old teen and in and she can go to Trader Joe's, and she can go to
school, and she can want to become a lawyer, and she can even want to
become the president of the United States, but she cannot enter her
Masjid. What message does that give to a little girl when she's
processing her faith? And let's take that to another level,
because right now, Alhamdulillah, many masajid have women's
sections. Many do. This is a difference from even when I was
growing up. But there are cities that don't, especially in the UK,
even though it's part of the West. And there are masajid that don't
take care of their women's faces, like Rahma center does. MashAllah
Rahman Center is an amazing example. Brother Nabil and your
team. May Allah, bless you. Brother Nabil.
Who raised a son like this. May Allah bless you and your entire
board to be intentional about community is something that we see
in many masjid, masha Allah, and there are some that we don't so
I'll give you an example of what that might look like where there
is a masjid that has a woman's space and it is beautiful, masha
Allah, but they're not comfortable with women giving knowledge. So
there's a masjid that I know of that I have visited many times in
my life, and I was seven when they built this Masjid. Until now, they
have never held a session where a woman has come as a lecturer to
speak about Islamic knowledge. Ever, never, not a single time
from the masjid itself. Now, this Masjid is known as, like you know,
very forward thinking and access. But the only time they've asked
women to be on stage as a masjid entity is not to be the moderator
of the session where she introduces the speakers and has
discussions with them about the topics. It's obviously not to
reset Quran, because that's a different topic which Intel will
talk about in a different time. And it's not to give lectures.
It's to open the session by saying, Thank you for coming to
this Masjid. The exit is that way. The bathrooms are there. We're
looking forward to the talk. If a little girl sees that as a woman's
space her entire life, what does she think her role is when it
comes to Islamic scholarship, the messages that we may
unintentionally be sending when we make decisions for our community,
on an infrastructural level, impact the way that women see
women's rights in Islam. Because when she's then also told, as a
woman you're not allowed to do this, or as a woman you're not
allowed to be in this space, or as a woman you're not supposed to do
this, her reality is also paralleled by what she sees in the
Muslim majority community, and so she recognizes that maybe all of
Islam actually does say this, when in reality, what we see through
the women's scholars that we just mentioned through the fact that
the greatest Imams of our time were taught by women, is that the
intentionality behind the revelation to ensure The inclusion
of women set the stage for making sure that women were given rights
that were divinely decreed. Omar radiallahu anhu, how did he
convert to Islam? Does anyone know the story of who was the reason of
his conversion?
His sister, faucima radiAllahu anha, this great companion
promised paradise. Became Muslim because of his sister, faulty
model, anha. When he heard Surah Al qahha from the space of her
home where she was learning with her husband and the teacher, his
heart was changed
and Amar RadiAllahu. Anhu was a man who was born in a culture
where they used to bury baby goals alive, inherit woman like
property. Now these are speaking points you often hear when you
hear individuals speaking about Islam to a majority non Muslim
audience, speaking points we often say Islam gave women so many
rights while Europe was thinking of women as property 1000 years
before that, Islam gave women the rights to inherit her own. Islam
allows women to be business
owners.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. What did he do? He
married a woman who was older than him, who was who had twice been
previously married, who was a business owner, and she proposed
to him. Look at how amazing our religion is.
How many women do we know in our community who are divorced or
widowed
feel comfortable with the concept of even proposing to someone, even
the concept of potentially concerning someone and also being
much older than him, are those traits we praise as a community?
Are those traits that women would ever feel comfortable in that
space, even though that is the reality of their identity? No So
how far are we when we tokenize the mother, Khadijah of our Ummah,
and yet when we look at our women in the space of worship, in the
space of living, we choose only one or two aspects of their life
to highlight, and say, this is Islam, the woman's contributions
from the time of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam until
today are too vast for us to limit the greatness of who they were.
It's not fair to the sacrifices that they gave as women who were
punished for the sake of Allah and as women who gave everything for
the sake of Allah. For us to say that woman your role models today
are only in three spaces, what are the three ways you generally heard
about women's roles and it's them.
What is it? The kitchen, Okay, what else?
What?
Being a mother, yes, one more.
Being a wife, okay, give me one more Sunday school
teacher, Sunday school teacher, okay.
Education, one more.
What is like? What do women complain? We feel like the
community is obsessed about, sometimes,
hijab, modesty, okay, modesty, motherhood, marriage, so important
in Islam, so important. All three hot, incredibly important, very
critical parts of our deen, but when those are the only aspects we
teach our community about,
then what does that say to the new convert who's trying to learn what
it means to be Muslim? What does that say for the woman who's been
trying to get married for 20 years or has been in traumatic
marriages. What does that say for the woman who has never become a
mother, or who has lost a baby, or who she can't get pregnant, or she
can't or think about it, because of other reasons, there are so
many women who fit all of these categories do not. We owe it to
show our woman why we should love Islam, and how is that going to
impact another generation when children are raised with that
idea,
when boys and girls are raised with this concept of their Isa,
because we know that the rights that Allah has given women are not
just incredible rights, but also that our community actively works
to protect the most vulnerable amongst us. The Prophet salallahu
Alaihe wasallam called women and children, two vulnerable ones, and
he enjoined on men to care for women. Because men and women we
are allies. The Quran describes us as allies in shorts a Toba, the
Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam taught us that men and women are
twin halves, one of the other, we cannot get anywhere without all of
us succeeding together, and that's why, when we look at the example
of what women's scholarship has left behind and how that's
impacted men's scholarship, we can then look to the to where we're
moving forward in our community Today, particularly in the United
States, because we are at a pinnacle where we can make a
decision on where we're going to go, what's the direction we're
going to go. Iman Abdul Talib has recently released research where
she mentions that 50% of women who were in and out of the Muslim
community choose to leave it completely,
50%
of women, which means that if 50% of women even say 30% of that 50%
are choosing to be stay at home mothers, how are they going to
raise their kids when it comes to the idea of the masjid and the
Islamic space, if their experiences have been so traumatic
that they don't Want to come back, what does that say about our
community and the way that we're speaking and teaching about
women's issues? How did we shift so greatly from the time of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, who said
that we used to think a woman is absolutely nothing, until Allah
revealed what he revealed, and he divided. What he divided, if
Amala, who was described as someone who would beat women's
slaves to the point that he would stop only because he got bored,
since they accepted Islam as a punishment for their acceptance of
Islam, this man became the one who could be corrected by a woman in
public as the Khalif.
What does that say about how the psyche of Islam shifted an entire
generation, of how women were seen by men and how women saw
themselves in this society?
What shifted for us as an ummah? There are so many different
reasons why the shift has happened, but let's look at a few
examples. The first one is the impact of ideologies that impacted
Islamic scholarship. So for example, Dr Akram naduwi speaks
about Greek philosophy
at the time in which Islamic scholarship a few centuries, not
even after the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had passed away,
there was booming women's scholarship, whether you know,
whether someone I you know, there's different different *
happened a lot of times due to political reasons. But let's talk
about the some of the * names, like the Shia, the moat, tazila,
the Hawaii,
these * obviously, this is, I'm Sunni, and this semester,
generally, I'm assuming, is welcome to all, but generally,
maybe has a Sunni background. So if we say that in our Sunni
history, we have so many women scholars, and then we say, in all
of these different sects, there were also women scholars. What was
the only sect that stopped having women as followers? It was the
sect of people who ascribed to philosophy as part of their
religious understanding, because Greek philosophy had this idea
that women should not be educated. So when those works were
translated in.
To Arabic, and
they started becoming mixed with Islamic text. What are Muslims
then learning? And if the person who was the author or the
translator didn't clarify the difference between philosophy and
personal reasoning, let me give you an example. I've been working
on a book Alhamdulillah for the past two years on women's rights
in Islam. And sometimes I'm researching and I come across a
statement of a great scholar who I deeply respect, whose opinions we
absolutely should follow, but he'll make a statement like,
because men are more beautiful than women, because men are more
righteous than women, because men are stronger than women, because
men are closer to Allah than women.
Is that reflective of the Quran and the Sunnah? No, do we not take
any of his opinions? No,
but we can say that compared to the Quran and the Sunnah, this
statement is a personal opinion. Perhaps it's a reflection of his
cultural reality, where he lived in the time. We don't need to take
that statement. We can take the statement of everything else that
he says. But if that statement is not clarified in a fifth book, and
it's actually a statement from Greek philosophy, and now we are
quoting those scholars 10 centuries later, and we don't know
how the impact of an ideology outside of Islam impacted that
work. Can we then understand how that might shape the way we see
certain issues? And so when we're talking about something like Greek
philosophy, when that group of individuals became the rulers, no
longer just people living under a system where women were teachers
and callers and students when they became the rulers, what happened
to women's teaching? If women are no longer allowed to go to school
or teach? What happens in three generations where no one is around
to even remember the time in which women were actively part of
creating this system of scholarship,
looking at outside ideologies is also related to politics.
Politically, our Ummah is in a place of trauma right now. So much
of our Ummah is in trauma right now, and we have generational
trauma from colonialism. Colonialism, let's look at one
aspect of colonialism that impacted the way that we look at
women's rights and women's spaces, for example,
in Christianity, I'm speaking about the time of colonialism in
the two door rule. So the two doors ruled in England, this is
the start of modern day colonialism, when they the British
went and they started conquering Muslim majority lands. One of the
views of the two doors about women was that the reason that she got
her period was it was a punishment from God, and the reason that they
believe that is because this understanding in Christianity at
that time, I don't know what is taught in churches today or in
what denomination I'm speaking about that time, and the impact on
Muslim majority thought.
They believed that Hawa, that Eve peace be upon her, seduced Adam
alaihis salam to eat from the tree. Now, obviously this is
blasphemy in Islam. Allah places that responsibility on both the
man and the woman, the Adam alaihi salam and Hala alaihi salam that
both of them ate from the tree, that both of them made the
mistake, that both of them asked for forgiveness, and both of them
were forgiven.
A woman is not held responsible by any means in our in our narrative,
but in this narration, it's called the curse of Eve. It's one of the
reasons that women have the pain of childbirth. Now in the two door
system, when the ruling class believed this, they did not allow
women who were on their period to take medication for their period
cramps, because it was believed that they had to feel the
punishment that Eve received for the seduction
that concept of your period being punishment is one I've heard from
Muslim women constantly. How many of you have heard Sisters of a
friend, a daughter, a cousin who's gotten their period in the last 10
nights of Ramadan or in Ummah or in hajj, and have asked, Why is
Ummah punishing? Me? Raise your hand.
Why is Allah mad at me? Is this a curse from Allah? I was in hajj,
and an older woman came to me. She was, maybe she was not an older
one. She older than me at the time. She was like, maybe in her
late 40s, and she came to me and she said she got her period, and
all the women around her asked her, What did you she asked like,
what should I do? Because she didn't know what to do. And we're
in hajj, and all the women around her asked her, What did you do
wrong in Hajj that Allah is punishing you? What sin did you
commit in Mecca that Allah is punishing you?
Those women were older than her. What have they been raised with?
The.
Entire lives to see as a part of what Allah has decreed for women
in such a natural way that requires, that requires the
continuation of humanity Allah's Panama, taala, when we look at the
concept of menstruation, it's never seen as some sort of curse
in silk books, it's discussed on how this impacts a woman's ritual
worship, and there's a difference of opinion and a lot of issues.
But when we look at the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam, what
was his reaction to women who went through menses? The Prophet
salallahu alayhi wa sallam, one time, had a group of women who
came the Ben alifa. They came to him and they asked if they could
help in a battle, the battle of saba. They wanted to help take
care of the wounded and the sick and give water to the to the
Warriors. Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, didn't say, it's
better for you to stay at home. It's better for you not to come.
We don't need your presence. What's actually the best for you
is to wear hijab in your house and no one sees you. No. Prophet said,
with the blessing of Allah, they came, and with them was a young
girl, and she narrates that she was sitting around the luggage
like on the the like the riding animal luggage area, and all of a
sudden she realizes that she's bleeding for the first time in her
life, and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is with her, and she's
mortified. And the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, he
asks her, very respectfully, perhaps this has happened. And
she's like, Yeah, and he just tells her how to clean it with he
teaches her how to clean it through.
He doesn't ignore her. He doesn't walk away from her. He doesn't
make her feel like the worst person forever existing something
completely out of her hand that was so natural and necessary.
Instead, he gives her a necklace from the spoils of war, and she
stipulated that she wanted that necklace to be on her her entire
life, including when she was buried. She was buried with that
necklace. That teaching of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi would
sell them that gentleness. Do we think that our Ummah would be in a
very different place if that's how we all interacted with one
another, how we taught our own daughters, how we taught our own
sons that it's okay for men to express emotion, that that was
part of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallams reality of being
someone of emotion, but also being someone who, when he expressed
that emotion, was both vulnerable and also able to listen, we need
this space that the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa salam
created for vulnerability for our our entire community, and it's
such a loss that we've sometimes not reflected that in the way that
we teach women's issues and also in the way that we teach our
brothers. So when we look at the Prophet salallahu, alayhi was
someone's example on Mensis, this is how we interacted with a little
girl. But when Aisha radiwah was on her way to Hajj, subhanAllah,
she is going to make Hajj after years of being away from Mecca,
after years of not being able to see the Kaaba. Can you imagine?
How many of you raise your hand if you got a free ticket to go to
Mecca today, would you take it immediately? Raise your hand.
Yeah. That's like probably all of us, but with the Prophet,
to go with the Prophet, after years and years and years and
years and years of longing for it and missing it, and that was your
home. And now she's going and she gets there, and the
Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam finds her in a tent weeping,
and he asks her about what's going on.
And she when realizing that this is her period, he tells her,
Salalah Alaihi Wasallam, this is something ordained for the
daughters of Adam. Are they his Salaam? Now, this is actually very
powerful. Connecting it with the daughters of Adam, are they his
Salaam? Because it's a prophet of Allah,
and connecting this aspect with something that in another
religious tradition blames how afar are they? Has Salam, the
Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, is connecting this natural
experience with a prophet of Allah, at who the Prophet SAW. Is
connecting this moment for her with
the ease that I can bring for her and the comfort that that should
give all of us, that this Mother of the Believers who never had
biological children, is sharing a very vulnerable and what could be
an embarrassing moment that's taboo in so many cultures with
literally the rest of the ummah. She did not have to share this
incident with anybody else. It was between her and the Prophet
salallahu Alaihe Salam, but she did to ensure that none of us, not
you. All of us are not afraid of the future. And all of you know
how to interact with your daughters, or this your sisters,
or the women in your families. This healing that the Prophet
salallahu, alayhi wa salam brought from men and women together and I
Rahima Allah, who is a great contemporary scholar of our time,
as well as Ibn hazam, whose can.
Considered the fifth legal school. We have the Maliki, the shepherds,
the hamilities and the Hanafis, and then the buchas are considered
like the fifth legal school, but they base their reasonings for the
permissibility of women doing certain things that the majority
opinions don't allow based on this hadith.
So she shared this, and because of it, we have legal rulings you can
take to a court system because of her vulnerability and sharing
something that she never had to share. Asmaa bin Allahu anha on
the way for Hajj, she is pregnant, and she gives birth on the way Abu
Bakr goes to the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam, and
he asks her, what did she do? Because now she's in NEFAs, which
is bleeding post birth, the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
sallam just tells her, tells her what to do for the and that's it.
And then she continues the two types of questions that women
would have going for Hajj. It's addressed with the woman
companions, Sophia RadiAllahu Aha, also in hajj, same situation, but
at a different time than Aisha radiAllahu adha. So the Prophet
salallahu alayhi wa sallam asked about the timing and then gave
different rules based on that timing. Literally any woman has
rules on what to do, and we have our mothers to thank for that, and
the woman companions to thank for that. But this is our tradition.
We don't have taboos in Islam when it comes to women's issues. And in
fact, there is a woman who went to excuse me, the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wa sallam. And there are multiple examples of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam being asked about private matters like
this.
And I should Allah praised the woman of the umsa for, what does
anyone know?
For what? Yeah,
close, very close. Take not being shy, perfect. But why did she say
that?
What's the what's the reason that's the last part of the
narration. The last part of this narration is, I shall be low more
I'm not praising woman. The unsolved that their shyness did
not stop them from seeking knowledge. What's the first part
of that narration?
Yes, but what was the questions about? What are
the questions about? We just we're just talking about the topic,
menstruation and intimacy. Menstruation and intimacy, they
would come to the prophets of Allah and ask what to do,
and then I should Allah have praised them that their shyness
would not stop them from asking questions. Have you ever heard
those two narrations put together?
Why don't we hear the full narration when we talk about
women's issues sometimes? And this brings us to the third point,
cultural context. If we do not have the context for why something
was said, if we don't understand the culture surrounding why a
ruling was given. If we're only given one part of the ruling, then
what does that say for us when we're trying to make sense of it
in the United States in 2023
when we look at the context, sometimes we only give one portion
of the statement. For example, Sofia ODI, Allahu, Anta, one day,
she was walking with the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wa salam and the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam saw other companions. I'm so
sorry, I can't see that. Would you mind me? Close? I have 30 minutes
until salah. Okay? Thank you so much. So one time, the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was walking with his wife, Sophia,
will be Allahu anha, and he sees other companions sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam.
And there's a famous statement that is said about this
circumstance after giving salams to the Companions. Does anyone
know what it is?
I'm sure if I tell you, you might like be like, Oh yeah, I've heard
that before.
So the Prophet saw the love. Oh yes, it's close.
Yes, exactly. Can you say a letter for everyone?
So the perfect so the Prophet saw them introduces Sofia odiloha as
his wife. He introduces that. This is Sophia odiloha. Thank you. And
the Companions are like, whoa, we would never question, we would
never question that you're walking around in an inappropriate way,
like, you know, super close with someone who's not your wife,
salaha salam, and the Prophet sallallahu, Sallam taught that the
shaytaan, you know, he runs through our minds. He runs through
our veins. And he could, he could give ideas that people would be
like, Oh, who is that? Even if, like, logically, people would say,
No way. Not the Prophet fully Salam, but maybe some part shaytan
could whisper, okay, have you heard that part? There we go, the
whispering of the shayateen, because modesty, the whispering of
the shaytaan. So you should be very careful with the way you
interact with anyone which, of course, obviously, we have rulings
for a reason. Absolutely, stay with me.
The guidelines, but what is the first part of that narration?
The first part of that narration is that Safiya Radi Allahu anha is
going to visit the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam when he's
in your ID. Caf is a time in which you really submit yourself to
Allah completely. You haven't really seclude the word I was
looking for, seclude you. Seclude yourself with Allah. You seclude
yourself in the masjid. That means you're not really actively hanging
out. You make right, seek AF. You're not like talking to your
friends all day long about like everything possible. You focus on
Victor. You make dua. You Quran,
the Prophet saw them is making our Tikka to Masha, to Nabawi, Sofia,
radiAllahu anha goes to visit him, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, visit
social having a conversation with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam.
And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam walks her back,
not because she needed a guardian to walk back home. She walked to
the masjid SallAllahu send them with but the prophets always send
them. She walked to the masjid alone. He doesn't need a guardian
to walk back home. But he loves his wife, sallAllahu, ascendant,
and he's an activ, which means he's not seeing his you know, his
family very much. He's he's an activ. He's in the masjid, so he's
spending extra time with her. Sallallahu alayhi wa send them.
When we talk about the full narration, it no longer becomes a
woman or a fitna. We have to clarify who women are no matter
what, because just in case, which, of course, we should men and
women, we should just be, you know, respectful and intentional
about the way we interact with one another.
But when we also know the first part, we know that this came from
a place of their spending time together. This was Sophia choosing
to go to the masjid on her own visit the Prophet salallahu Sanam.
Doesn't that impact the way that we see women in our space, the
woman companions, when we know that
cultural context is also really important
because of the way that impacts us as a minority, minority of Muslims
living in a majority state, that's not in a Muslim majority rule when
we look at women's economic rights,
if the Sharia court was actually practiced correctly, if a woman is
not receiving her rights, she can go to the Sharia court. She can go
to the court system, and she can ask for her rights, and the the
judge, the quality will judge, what is what? What is she? What's
supposed to happen, what rights she's supposed to be given? I'll
give you many examples. For example, today, I'm contacted by
women who experience abuse they want to ask for a divorce because
they are physically being abused. Their children are experiencing
abuse. And this isn't a minor type of abuse, which is never okay in
the first place. This is a husband
being very physical, taking a knife, threatening with a knife,
physically using a knife. This is a very serious case. She goes to a
number of different people. They all tell her, be patient and pray
he will get better if you seduce him. Allah Abu LA, horrific. So
horrific. And we just had five famous cases in our national news
last year. This is a reality in our community.
And she is told when she asks that she wants to divorce, she's not
told about fast. A fast is when there is harm in the relationship,
that the judge can annul the marriage, that there's a
responsibility of the husband to support her economically in
different ways. One of those ways is making sure that the Maha,
including if he chooses to divorce her, that the MaHA is fully paid.
Let's say that a woman says that for her marriage dowry for her,
you know, the the gift that the man is responsible for in a
marriage. Let's say that she's asking for $5,000
she asked for $5,000 he has 500 that day when they're getting
married. He's a student. He has no money. She gets 500 that day over
the next few years. He's required to pay a certain amount. And she
can say that she also wants that money to come from a 401, K, or
she wants it to be invested in something so it grows so
economically, she has her own money, whether or not she's being
fully financially supported by her husband, which is a requirement,
is family. So now she has her own finances, but if he chooses to
divorce her, and it's not a fuss, it's him choosing to divorce, and
she doesn't want to get a divorce, divorce is a different topic.
We're not going to get into these topics at all. The details today,
I just want to give you overviews today. As we go through the series
Inshallah, we'll get into deeply Inshallah, into what did all the
other Him say? Why? What's the evidence is? And we'll look at the
conclusions of the scholars and why they decided those reasons.
But today,
she should receive the rest of that meh, so that she is not alone
financially, not on her left, with more vulnerable left, vulnerable
financial.
Right, let's say but, but, but. Sorry, but. We don't have a court
system here to be able to enforce that, and so that's why what we
end up doing as a Muslim community is we suggest prenups. We suggest
having documents written contracts, instead of simply
having any kafan. That's it also register legally so that you have
the legal protections. But in an Islamic court system, this is the
safety net. Is the court system. Is the Islamic State. When it's
done correctly, there's really nowhere at all right now in the
whole world that's practicing the Islamic law really to its whole
but a woman who chooses to marry and she wants to remain a
housewife, she wants to be a full time homemaker and a full time
mother, if she becomes a mother, a stay at home mother, these are
beautiful, beautiful choices. They don't have to be made. A woman can
choose to do otherwise, but these are beautiful choices. Let's say
she chooses that that's the way she wants to be, and her husband
and her agree that this is what's going to happen, and that he's
going to work full time and support her. Now the question I've
received, I'll give you a few examples of this.
I was having a conversation on a platform in a room where there
were a group of men and women talking about women's rights after
marriage. They were discussing what a woman should do, and the
majority of them are saying it's best if she's a homemaker.
Wonderful. Totally fun. One of those women raises her hand, and
she says she used to believe that she wanted to be a stay at home
mom and a homemaker full time, but then her relative was in an
abusive marriage. She's from a country where divorce is taboo, so
her family would not allow for her to divorce, as in, they would not
take her in and would not financially support her.
So she stayed in an abusive marriage and was physically harmed
consistently because she had no financial options to go anywhere.
She had never worked. She got married immediately after high
school. There is no system in this country for like a homeless
shelter or like hotlines for a woman going through abuse, and so
now she doesn't have any money. She is completely reliant on the
husband who's supposed to support her financially. So this woman
said, I just don't understand why Islam would allow a woman to be so
vulnerable and completely dependent, in case, then what man
she thinks she married who's righteous becomes an abuser or not
becomes was an abuser. Now, of course, we know that men in our
community are amazing. Masha Allah, we have amazing men in our
community who care about women, who are deeply invested in women,
but many boys are the subjects or the victims or the survivors of
their fathers being domestic abusers, and yes, mothers as well.
I have so many women come to me, and so many young men come to me
and tell me that their mother is if verbally abusive was
neglectful, that they don't know how to process even considering
marriage, because this is what they knew from their mom. So this
is a reality in our community, too, and many times, men don't
have the space to express that, because we don't have necessarily
a space to express that rahmah being different, mashallah, the
whole counseling system. MashaAllah, you have Imam as we're
invested. We have a psychologist. This is a beautiful message.
That's an example for the nation that we need to take on. But in
this room, this woman was saying, I don't understand why Islam would
leave women so vulnerable. Now, the response to this was the
problem. The response to this was, no one actually knew what was
allowed in Islam through through in Islamic law. And so their
reaction was, yeah, but that's like a one off case that doesn't
happen that often, which is untrue, or maybe there's what,
even if it was, which one we wish it was untrue, but even if it,
even if it wasn't, even if it was true, what about those few cases?
Right? Are they not important enough that investor warranted?
Answer? Warrant an answer?
So then they said that while she's allowed to work, you can't work if
someone is not going to physically allow you to leave the home, or if
you're terrified of leaving your home for whatever reason, work is
not necessarily an option. If you have full time young children and
you don't have the ability to take them to your family. You don't
have the finances for a babysitter. What are you going to
do if they're not in school and you're completely they're there,
you're you are their life. So I suggested learning about what the
Medicaid say about this issue. What do the four methac Say? We're
not going to go into the details today. So I'm going to give you a
general overview that a woman is allowed to stipulate depending on
the madhhab. The Hanafis don't allow this, for example, depending
on the madhhab, but within a legal system, a woman is allowed to
stipulate that she would like to get paid for certain actions. What
they are vary between the madhhab, but they include things like
cooking, cleaning, nursing your own child, raising your own
children, sewing, mending, painting the house. These are all
things depending on the madqab our discussions now some medkap have
differences. Only if there's a divorce, she can get paid for
those things, only if this chicken get paid for those things. So.
So this, again, is general. Don't take this to your marriage and
say, we got to talk about this.
All of these things should be discussed with a therapist and how
best it would be practiced in your life, depending on your
circumstance. I'm just telling you law. Law is drive it's legal.
That's it. These are rights that women have within Islamic law so
that one, she can receive a meh that will financially be a form of
economic independence. Two, she can be paid if she chooses to be a
home, a stay at home, mom or a housewife. Four, things she would
be doing for the home. And this doesn't mean because she doesn't
trust her husband. It doesn't mean she wants to be paid because she
doesn't want to contribute her home. Maybe she wants to give
charity. Maybe she wants to be able to buy a gift for her
husband, and she doesn't want him to know, just having her own money
can be something that she feels, that she can contribute in a way
that she's not completely relying on, on not having anything. So the
reasonings could be vast. But the point is that even if a woman
chooses this space, Islam recognizes that choice and still
gives her options so that she can choose to use her money how she
wants it to be spent, even if she's financially supported. And I
think that this is so powerful in Islam because Allah recognizes
women's unique ability and creation. Like only women can give
birth, this is only what men cannot do this. And so when we
look at how Allah has chosen, the way of systems that a woman can
choose, she going to be a full time working, working full time
and going through, you know, all the all this, all the changes in
that cycle, or is she going to do a mix of both? Or is she not? She
has the choice, and Allah gives her that. Now, of course, the
discussion of how that is needs to happen between the spouses before
marriage and a therapist should be included, definitely. And it looks
different here, because we don't live in an Islamic system. But the
point is, the court system, technically, should have that as
an option, where she can go and speak to them. And if she is not
financially supported, then what she goes to Daytona, the Treasury,
the finance treasury, is supposed to provide for her in this way, if
she's not getting that provision, does that make sense, that she
always is given a choice? Economically, our context doesn't
allow for that. And realistically, I'd love to see a raise of your
hands. How many of you even knew that any of these were options for
women?
12345,
so six,
seven, maybe kind of okay, which is great. Seven is great. We need
it to be everyone,
because we're talking about the way, especially a person who
experiences trauma then sees Allah. Women who have experienced
trauma in this space have come to me afterwards and have said
they're considering leaving Islam, or they've left Islam, and this is
the reason they just can't understand why Allah would allow
someone to be so vulnerable if he's actually the truth, and I
share with them, he is the truth, and Allah doesn't simply allow for
women to stay vulnerable. These are all the things that Allah has
allowed for women to never have to feel like they have no options.
But if we are not teaching those as a community actively, then what
does a woman feel like when she goes through that type of trauma
and she doesn't have a place to process it when she comes to the
message and her only option is to get Zakat, and they're not even
willing to consider her because they have too many zakat
applications.
So now it's upon us as a community, on looking at how we're
going to address the needs of our community when we don't have a
system in place. But the point is recognizing the context,
another aspect of recognizing context is looking at the way the
Quran is presented to us when it comes to women,
when it comes to women in the Quran. Let me give you an example
of when
women in modesty is highlighted. Have you heard of the two
daughters of the elderly man who comes. Some people say Shuai
alayhi salam, but he's mentioned as the elderly man shaybir in the
Quran. They come to Musa alayhi salam because he's sitting. He's
fled the the Pharaoh. He's sitting and he makes a DUA. He makes a
straw. Oh, Allah, I am in need of anything that you can send me.
Yes, and then of any good that you can send me. And then these two
women come Allah, Musa Isla makes a DUA. Allah sends these two
women,
and they need help to be able to do what
water their flock.
When you've heard this example in the past, what is the emphasized
point?
Haya, yeah,
yes, yes, that they were so modest, the way the Quran
describes her. Tamshi, ala stehiya, she was walking on
modesty. She's so modest. Musa alaihi salam walked in front of
her on the way. There no question of his dignity. There are two
people in the desert alone. There's like nobody else. Musa
alaihi salam doesn't even give the thought of a woman being able to
think that he might take advantage of her. God forbid, God forbid, to
even assume such a thing of Musa alaihi salam. The modesty of their
interactions emphasized, and it's so beautiful, and it's one we
should take. It's when we should learn about it's when we should
teach in our MSAs, which is when I heard this story a million times.
In this way, it's so important, absolutely. But there's another
part of that story, when she goes to her father and she says, Yeah,
I bet.
Oh, my father hire him.
Why did Allah include that statement? Allah could have said,
and then the father hire him.
Allah goes into a detailed discussion of the transaction
financially, of what they decide, what they decide? How they going
to decide it, how the daughter is involved? What is her role, what
is acceptable, what is agreeable, back and forth, back and forth.
These verses are detailed. I don't want even include that discussion.
Scholars of Quranic commentary say to show that women were involved
in financial transactions in a time which when the Quran was
revealed, priest by micarabia, women were not actively involved
in financial transactions. The Quran brings women into a space in
which they were not actively in and what does Allah highlight for
women then and until now? That as Yes, modesty is part of a religion
for men and women, being involved with financial transactions, if we
choose not to include that context when we are sharing these examples
with our MSA aged children,
what are we learning? Because who bears the brunt of modesty when we
talk about modesty,
who obsessively bears the brunt of discussing the way we dress and
act, if one strand of hair is showing if you make a video in a
law, the fact that you're on social media at all, the fact that
we are having these discussions, and women are questioning whether
or not they want to stay Muslim because They're going through
abuse,
we are not considering the priorities we need to have that
Allah subhanahu wa himself revealed. It's about the way we
have context. And let's look at the last one of the four that
we're going to discuss today, because this topic is so huge. The
book that I've been working on right now, Alhamdulillah, is 450
pages, like size 11 font, and all of it is, most of it is just
talking about women's rights and the differences and the evidences
and why. That's just me. I'm not someone who wrote volumes and
volumes and volumes I took from the volumes and volumes and
volumes. So that's how the reason I told you that is because it's so
in depth. It's just so vast and well, at least for me, I don't
feel like I've seen that nuance when it's discussed. And that's
one of the reasons why I have young women coming to me and
asking me, why does Allah think that women are somewhere between
an animal and a man?
Why will Allah answer me if he hates women?
Why did he create women? If he's just going to hate us? A young
woman told me that she was raised by her father her entire life Her
and her sisters.
She was told that girls were created to serve men.
That's it.
Allah wants girls to serve men. Allah wants girls to be their four
men. When she went to the masjid, her experience
was the same.
The women's section was a closet where men did two things, put
their sleeping bags when they went out, because they would do
something that was related to going out and making dawah, and
they put their sleeping bags there. And when they would eat,
they had a small sink in the women's section. All the men would
leave their dishes in the women's section when the men brought their
children, they dropped them off in the women's section,
what messages is that giving to women who go to the masjid, that
women are there to serve the needs of men. So she heard that from her
family. She saw that in the masjid, and when she was old.
Enough
when she was old enough to make a decision to leave her home.
She left us down, and she became an atheist,
and later on, years later, she had this inner turmoil and decided to
just try another Masjid. She spoke to the Imam of that masjid, and he
shared with her that everything that you have learned is not
Islam. This is trauma, this is abuse, this is not Islam.
She was willing to listen,
and through his mentorship over years, she accepted Islam again.
That story of coming back to Islam
is so beautiful,
but it's not the reality for so many.
I think one of the one of the
one of the differentiations that when a person comes with trauma,
they have to make is that between personality preference and policy,
and that's something that we are taught in the legal system
addressing women's issues, personality versus policy,
personal preference versus policy. Almado de Allahu anhu, when he was
married to his wife, while the Allahu anha, she wanted to go to
the masjid. In fact, before they got married, she put in her
contract to marry him that you will not stop me from going to the
masjid. You want to go to Masjid as much as much whatever she
wants. Ibn hajjra explains, this is
something she put in her contract. So we have at who wants to
actively go to the masjid? She was asked, Why do you keep going in
the masjid? When Allah Abu
Asmaa was Why doesn't he stop me? Why doesn't he stop her? Because
the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam ordered never to that.
Allah said, Allah, do not prevent the maid servants of God from the
houses of God. It's an order you cannot prevent women from going to
the masjid. The sign of Omar's faith is the fact that he had a
personal preference, but he didn't stop her from going to the masjid.
Now, OMA Ullah, man who was stabbed in the masjid. She was
there in the masjid when he was stabbed. Was stabbed, and he was
martyred in sha Allah from that step. And we know he was
guaranteed paradise, but all the Allah honoris was meeting him
there
at the Allah Aha. She was in the masjid, a place that she knows her
husband doesn't want her to be in when he is killed, the wound that
that leads to him being killed. Now, if there's a woman who loves
her husband, or other people say that like you were married to such
a great man, like Don't you know that he doesn't want you to do
this? Why you keep going to the masjid? Maybe she could have been
like in honor of my husband's wishes, I didn't do it in my
lifetime, I'm going to do it now. We've heard of those types of
practices.
She gets remarried to Zubayr while the Allah,
what does she put in her contract to marry zubayah? Wadi lahuan, you
will not prevent me from going to the message. I will go to the
masjid
as many times as I want. Atyapa saw her connection to the message
so deeply that despite a six one of the most traumatic experiences
that a person can view in their lifetime, it didn't limit, it
didn't stop, it didn't prevent, her connection to the house of
Allah. But why was she able to do that?
Because of the pillars that the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
salam set the foundation surrounding women entering the
masjid space. And we're going to go into this topic inshallah next
time, because we don't have the time to go through all of the
stuff of it right now. But the woman companion sought the masjid
so deeply, so sincerely, so actively,
and that's how we can see that when we're looking at policy, the
policy that the Prophet sallallahu, some created around
women's presence in the masjid didn't change just because even
the most righteous of people had a personal preference.
If a masjid board has a personal preference, and they decide on a
policy for the masjid based on the personal preference. We are going
to assume that might be part of Islam. We're
going to see it in policy. We're going to see it in the
infrastructure. We're going to see it in the architecture. We're
going to assume women are not as necessary. Women shouldn't go to
the masjid. It's better for women to pray at home. There's a
difference of opinion on that. When we have these issues shown to
us in this way, we then live with messages in our psyche. So when
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi, he will send them to give you this
example, and then Inshallah, with one more we'll close. When the
Prophet.
Prophet salallahu Alaihe wasallam,
has a group of companions come into the masjid. And in the masjid
of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam, there were no barriers. So
men and women saw each other. There are a number of narrations
when a woman would go to a man and say, Excuse me, what was said, or
narrate about what she saw of the men, or narrate what she saw from
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And so when this group of
companions would go to the masjid and they would pray in the back.
And they were men, and there was an attractive woman who was from
the Companions roll the Allah, and she would pray in the front. They
would go to the back just to check her out. And this is an authentic
narration. And Imam, Muslim, Imam Ahmed, and they would look at her
under when they were making rukkah, what
did the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wa salam? Do you tell me if there
were young people coming to the masjid and in Salah, they were
looking, What? What? What message would we receive, generally, from
a masjid? Tell me which book policy might be created if there's
no barrier, and women pray in the in the front of the women's lines,
and then praying that, what would
happen, there would be no woman's lines. What else?
Woman addressed? Woman addressed for how women should be. Is it
really necessary for you to come to the masjid?
Please leave you are a fit enough for the men. The men can't
concentrate on salah. What else
a barrier would be built? That's policy chutzpah. Policy barrier
would be built policy. We're creating now, policy and
infrastructure. So what message does that give to all the other
women, for the rest of the generations who have no idea why
that wall was built in the first place? I'm not against message of
having walls. Of course, every community needs to decide what's
best for their message. Many women want walls. Many women want a
wall. They want to be able to pray without being worried about how
men are seeing them. If they were napalm, they want to remove it.
They're more comfortable to stay there for hours at a time.
Beautiful, necessary.
This is something each community needs to decide on their own.
That's not the point. The point is, why was it created in the
first place? In this example, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam
did not create policy surrounding this. It was an incident of
individuals, young people, who make mistakes, plus for
forgiveness, who learn and grow with mentorship.
This is a Allahu Akbar, masha Allah.
This understanding is when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam
built in this community, and the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wa
sallam, he taught the men and women of the community to love
each other for the sake of Allah.
And that is why we see the desire of men who were trained to bury
their baby girls alive, to give women their rights
when they were responsible to give them those rights. And women who
called for their rights because they had the confidence that the
Quran and the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam have taught them
this.
And we see this example. To close with, Ayesha RadiAllahu ALA, when
we go visit Medina, when we go into mashira Nabawi, when you go
to the raw law
in mashallah nebuwi, who do we visit the Prophet Muhammad,
sallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, we visit Abu Bakr Al RadiAllahu an
and we visit our model, the Allahu Anh.
Now they shouldn't have been enclosed in the masjid in the
first place. It will be Allahu Anhu and salAllahu alayhi wa
sallam, but we go there and we give our Salaam.
But where Allahu Anhu was buried is where Aisha radiAllahu anha was
going to be buried. She was going to be buried with her husband and
her father. But as Rama radiallahu anhu was passing away, he
requested from Aisha radiAllahu, an to be buried there with his
best friends.
And so Aisha radiah, she, out of her love for her brother, gave up
her spot next to her father, the greatest companion, RadiAllahu, an
next to the Prophet. So the law that he would send them her
husband. And so until today, we go and we visit three men who
SallAllahu, alayhi wa sallam, the most revered of our Ummah, whom we
love, who we pray, we can be like and be in Paradise with. But also
remember that it was because of a choice that Aisha radiAllahu anha
made, because otherwise we would be visiting her. RadiAllahu anha,
if we see that women are not given rights in Islam, it's not because
Islam doesn't give women rights, we have a responsibility to bring
back the rights that Islam gave us and to return to a time in which
women were the martyrs, in which women were actively involved in
the political, economic.
A spiritual and familial system, and with that type of healing, I
thank ya rab. I pray that Inshallah, the future generations
will not just want to stay Muslim, but people will see the way that
Islam honors women and know that this is where we want to go. Sha
Allah, Subhanahu wa Obama a.