Maryam Amir – Doubting Faith Because of Calamity
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That question, we also absolve, absolve the perpetrator from the
responsibility of what they are doing, because we are then instead
saying, Allah, so powerful, he should stop this, instead of the
law, instead of saying
that the abuser, the perpetrator, the oppressor. The oppressor
should never have done it in the first place.
One of the reasons Hellfire is a mercy to consider as a concept, I
think, is something that all of us can understand right now. There
are some crimes that being jailed for your entire life or being
executed for it.
Being executed for them is really not enough
for the level of horror that someone can inflict on a person,
on a family, on a population,
but in order for the concept of the Hereafter to truly be the
place of judgment, in order for the angels to be a a comfort, the
concept of the angels to be a comfort, in order to feel like
Allah knows that there is justice, and a justice that we cannot see
and we may not understand in our lifetime, because there will be
people that come after us,
and they may be able to see what's happening in ways we would we
don't understand in the moment, but in order for us to understand
those things, it goes back to one point. I have heard speakers talk
about the benefits of trials and tribulations, and we can all take
benefits from that. Of course, the Quran says that we may go back to
him. We can benefit from those concepts that, of course, it's an
opportunity for us to go back to Allah, forgive us, and give more
donations and do active work as much as possible. All of those
things are true, but at the end of the day, there are some things we
cannot rationalize.
And it took me some time to come to this answer myself.
There was a time where I made this Jai every single day, Allahu,
alib, it's Ali Ada dinik, Oh Allah, Turner of hearts, you are
the trigger of Christ. Keep my heart firm on your faith. The
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam would say this more than any
other. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam of Allah and
a role model for all of us. So for me, when I was trying to navigate
what what this means, because of my care for people, I hope, and
I'm wondering how, like what I can do, and I'm trying to navigate
what looks to me like so much pain. I'm asking Allah, Oh Allah,
give my heart to that. But I also needed to go back to why I believe
Islam is the ultimate truth. And yes, 100%
Allah, has given us the spiritual aspects of connection. The Quran,
for me, is a lifeline I can't express for all of you who have
walked into a masjid or gotten a whatsapp forward, or someone sent
you a video of the exact ayah you needed to hear in that moment, you
know what it's like when you have an interactive relationship with
the Quran, you have had moments, possibly, where you know Allah is
responding to you. Those are spiritual experiences, and we all
need them to process faith at times, but that is different from
logically accepting that Allah is the truth, and this is why what
logically it just makes sense to worship God directly, and the
message of the prophets makes sense. But Allah knows us, not
enough for all people. And as you all know, the scientific miracles
of the Quran over and over and over again, so much so that
leading researchers of those fields have accepted Islam, like
Doctor Keith Moore, who wrote the textbook that is taught in
universities on embryology. And when he was approached to see the
verses of the Quran, and he saw them, he said, I can't affirm all
of these because I don't know about these issues, and then he
researched them more and accepted Islam, because he said there's no
way this isn't from from the Divine. We see the top researchers
of these areas of different scientific areas, learning about
the science of the Quran and becoming a muslim, because he said
there's no way this isn't from the Divine. We have a Prophet,
sallAllahu alayhi wa salam, who has given us prophecies of what
will happen in his lifetime. So Allahu, Alam and after it, and
they all came true, we logically have a religion that speaks not
only to our hearts, but also to our minds, which means that when
we cannot fully process something on a logical level, why?
Of these terrible things happen, what we have to do is take a step
back and go to the this point of I don't know,
and I am humble enough to say that I have no clue, but I also trust
the one that I worship.
And I have to ask, what is my responsibility in this moment.
There is a woman here who told me that her grandfather would make
dua to be a martyr every single day, and would ask her and her,
his daughter, their family, to make dua that he would be a martyr
and SubhanAllah. He was a working as a doctor in different war
zones, and he spoke to them over the phone one night, saying,
You're not making enough dua for me to be accepted as a martyr. And
then next day, he was a martyr.
May Allah enter him and all the martyrs of Allah and all the
martyrs of the whole Ummah into the highest paradise. Gallery King
seven honor us with meeting them, amen. But the reality is that life
is very finite, and there are people who have accepted that life
is finite, but there's a hereafter to work for. So when they see
atrocity, they're not thinking, why is this happening? As they've
just finished their latte after taking a nice warm shower and a
wonderfully warm bathrobe,
they're in the moment on the ground, and they are saying, How
can we make a difference? One of the photo journalists of a I was
so blessed to have a conversation with him. He told me 17 members of
his family regarding one of his uncle's bodies was cut into
pieces.
I said to him, I responded, and I said, May Allah make every inch of
skin a witness against them on the Day of Judgment.
He responded and said, No, may Allah make every piece of skin a
witness for Him to go to jail.
That shift in perspective is one that happens when someone lives
with Allah,
their life, their breath, their understanding is Allah. And I
don't know, I can't speak about any of you. May Allah bless every
single one of you. But in the past few weeks, I have realized that I
have I never knew who Allah really is, not to the level that I
thought that I was learning about him, because in these few weeks, I
thought that I was someone who tried to be grateful, until I saw
actual gratitude
when we are faced with something like this, and we see that people
are coming out and they are praising Allah and calling to him
in the middle of ethnic cleansing and genocide.
And this is, of course, one part of our Ummah that's hurting. There
are so many parts of our Ummah that are hurting and have been
hurting,
but when they show that level of faith,
they have a secret with Allah.
They're not asking, God forbid, may Allah protect them from this
horror, take them out of this horror. No one wants to be in this
position. They're not asking to be this but
they have a secret with Allah that their reaction is, I trust who I
have as my Lord.
And that concept is something that we see in the story of Malik Ibn
dinar who was a scholar of our history. Melik Ibn dinar did not
start as a scholar. Many of you know someone who would laugh at
coming to a Muslim conference, a Muslim who would never come to a
Muslim conference. Many of you know people that you care about
who are thinking about leaving Islam.
Malik Ibn dinam was someone who wouldn't be at a Muslim
conference. He was someone who was known as an alcoholic, and he was
kind of part of like the the spies of the city, like the police spies
of the city.
He had a little girl,
and he loved her so much, and every time he would drink, and she
was in his lap, she would slap the cup away
until he just stopped drinking as much. And then suddenly, at two or
three years old, she passed away.
Malik didn't turn to Salah. He didn't turn to he didn't turn to
Quran.
He turned to drinking.
He drank and he drank and he drank until he became unconscious. And
when he became unconscious, he had a dream.
And his dream was that he was standing on the day of judgment,
and there was a massive snake, and it was trying to eat him.
He ran away from the snake, and as he ran in one direction, he came
to a very frail elderly man, and he said, Help me. Help me. Can't
you see the snake? And the man said, Look at me. I can't I can't
do anything. Go in that direction. So he runs in that direction. He
gets to a cliff.
As he gets to the cliff, he sees beyond it that it's hellfire,
and a voice calls out, and it says, You are not of these people.
He turns around. He runs again, passes the elder man, and the
elder man again says, I'm too weak. I can't help you go that
direction. He runs that direction, and all of a sudden, who do you
think he sees his daughter?
He sees his daughter. The snake disappears. He holds his daughter
in his lap,
and in the dream, he says to her, my dear daughter, what was that
snake? She responds, and she says, Oh, my beloved father, she said,
yeah, a Bitsy. Don't you know that on the Day of Judgment, the
actions that you do come in a physical form that snake were all
of your bad deeds, and that old man who was too frail to help you,
were your good deeds. You had made them so weak that they couldn't
help you. And if it wasn't for the loss of me, of his child, you
would have been destined to be of the
people. But the loss was so severe and so great,
is saving a different opportunity.
Malik was then told by his daughter
a verse of
the
Quran. She said,
is it not time for the hearts of the believers to be moved by the
remembrance of Allah? She said this in his dream, and he woke up
screaming, saying, it is time. It is time. He made wudu, and he went
to the masjid.
When he entered the masjid, the Imam had already finished sort of
Fatiha,
and he was starting to recite.
And
Malik walked into the masjid of the same ayah that his daughter
had told him in the dream that was the beginning of his path to
scholarship. One time, a robber came into his home and didn't
realize this was before electricity, standing in the
corner, praying in the dark, a robber came in, found absolutely
nothing to steal, and Malik noticed him, and he said, You came
to steal from us. You came to steal from us, but we're going to
steal from you. We're going to steal your bad character. And so
he told him to make Mulu and come and stand and pray. And he did,
and that was the beginning of that man's Toba and repentance and
coming back to Allah. We would never, ever say that the loss of a
child is something anyone should ever on any circumstance go
through, and if you have lost like this, may Allah bless you in every
way. Raise your ranks. Bless you with rejoining your child in the
highest paradise.
We don't know why it has to happen.
What we can say is that every person has a specific amount of
time,
but this time is not the only time. There is an endless forever
hereafter that our logic, that science, that prophecies, that
miracles, that came true, and our spiritual connection all prove is
going to happen.
So when we say we don't know why this happens, instead
internalizing, oh, Allah, I accept that, instead of questioning you
have the power to do anything, and yet you've allowed me another day
to come back to you, let me work for the liberation of the
oppressed in my worship team today.
What am I going to do in that process and in that loss and in
that grief and in that confusion, except for going back to a
realzadi mentions is the one who watches for the one that they
love. Because sometimes when we hear about Allah, we hear about
Allah is watching,
and
he saw that Subhan Hua Taala instead, what about Yes, Allah
swam, Child's watching you because He cares about you and he loves
when the sermon turns back to him.
There is an eye in the Quran that talks about the angels, many eyes
of the Quran that talk about the angels and the way that they
interact with us.
Allah says,
the ones, the the ones who hold up the Throne of Allah, and they
believe in him, and they make, they make to speak. They remember
him at all. And what do they do?
Sorry, it came out. The ones who they make is the thought for the
believers, they are asking Allah in the same time that they're
holding his throne, and they're doing what they believe in Him,
they're praising Him, and they're doing his praise in the heavens,
holding his throne with what asking for our forgiveness. Yes,
the fun in Arabic is a word that isn't as a verb that's constantly
happening. It's not they did it in the past. They're going to do it
in the future. They are doing it 24/7 and why? Angels do nothing
except for what Allah has commanded them to do, which means
that your Lord has commanded angels to do nothing but pray for
you. And who are melamina amanu they are not the people who are
praying and fasting. 24/7, they are not the people who are
constantly going back to Allah and repenting. Are not in rasmid. They
are the people who believe in Allah, but their actions do not
quite match it. They are the people who believe in Allah, but
they struggle with the worship. They are the people who believe in
Allah, but they sin. Those are the people who Allah, subhana wa Taala
has ordered angels to make dua for them constantly. It's you and me.
How much more so for someone who seeks Allah, who wishes that they
could worship him correctly. But they struggle sometimes, but then
they go back to trusting the Allah is the One who is the ultimate
knower of affairs, that there is a hereafter that if we don't always
understand the wisdom, that there is no justification of genocide,
but
there is a place that those who are oppressed will have justice.
And the question is, how are we going to work to support
them? In
Milan? Go?