Maryam Amir – Asmaa Bint Umays; Women Companions of the Prophet
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AI: Transcript ©
When the
Muslims believed in the Revelation, so many of the Quraysh
began to persecute them. And we heard about the persecution of the
very first murder of Sumayya walihu Aha from our beloved state
of Hussein. And there were other men and women who were persecuted.
For example, um shurei All the Allahu anha. She and her husband
accepted Islam, and when her husband was away, her in laws came
and they asked her whether or not she had actually converted. And
when she affirmed her in laws carried her out of her home on
their shoulders. Basic, basically kidnapped her, took her and force
fed her bread and honey, and then would not allow her to have any
water. So you can imagine how dry her mouth felt and her throat, and
then they left her in the desert sun for three days, and when they
did so, and they came back three days later, she had lost her
sight, and they asked her, does she still believe in Allah? Does
she still believe that there's only one God?
And the way that she responded was still one finger up to the sky in
affirmation of this belief, this persecution was so intense that we
know that there was a migration from Mecca to Abyssinia. And we
also likely have heard of when the Muslims stood in front of an
ajahshi and Jaffa, while the Allah and who the son of Abu Talib,
stood and responded to and the Jes questions on why they were here,
because the Quraysh had sent people to follow them to Abyssinia
to get them back. And when Jafar radila And who stood and he
explained how the Prophet salallahu, alayhi wa salam took
them from the darknesses to the light the way that they used to
harm people and hurt people and didn't take their responsibilities
towards people seriously.
And then he recited the beginning of Sura Mariam. He said, When a
regime Rahim,
so
can You say it to me again?
You
Walia,
he
continued to recite the surah as om Salama explained.
The narrator of this hadith is om Salama radiAllahu anha.
Have you heard of this narration before this incident?
Have you heard of jaafa RadiAllahu? Anhu, going to
Abyssinia and speaking in front of a najashi. Did you know that om
Salama is the one who narrated it?
A woman was the one who told us of this incident, and we wouldn't
have known about it if she hadn't. And with Jafar odilah anhu and the
Muslims in Abyssinia were over 20 women who had migrated from nutca
to Abyssinia. Some of them didn't have any any animal to ride on,
because they couldn't afford it. So walking and writing on animals,
they went through the desert onto a ship. None of them had gone on a
ship before. Now they're going on ship. They're going to Abyssinia,
and this is where they stay for some time.
Asmaa, who is a scholar who wrote the book The political role, the
political roles of women in the time of the Prophet, sallAllahu,
alayhi wa salam and the righteous, she speaks about how, when she did
research on more contemporary historians, when we look at the
narrations that they include, they include narrations like Jaffa,
radiloha anhu speaking, they speak about his life, Radi Allahu Anhu.
But it's not simply that they mention, for example, and his
wife, but don't mention the name. It's that they simply don't
mention.
Woman at all, and that this is such a stark contrast from the
earlier books of history, like Ibn Saud or Ibn hajom or or Ibn
Hisham, that these books talk about the roles of women and the
presence of women and the way that women impacted society, and yet,
over time, that's shifted so that many of us today maybe have asked,
where really have been women in Islamic society? What are wooly
women's roles or contributions, especially when we keep hearing
that there's really only one role that women play in our community.
And this isn't to say that all history books right now omit women
or that they were intentional in doing so. But the point is,
there's been a shift of culture even in the books that have been
written. And so when a young woman like myself, when I was younger,
like many of you, when you've been younger, or maybe now, are going
to the masjid and you're not hearing about any of the women
companions,
sometimes we wonder, Well, did they even exist? I remember
feeling so connected to Hala Ibn Walid, RadiAllahu, anhu, fighting
battles on behalf of the Prophet sawallahu, alayhi wa sallam, for
the Islam,
or the one he would give the adhan, and the powerful way that
he would give the adhan, or Ibn Al Bas and how he knew that tafsir
Quran and I felt so connected to all of these companions will be
Allahu, Akbar, but when I was here, Ayesha, radiAllahu anha, or
falchima will be Aha, of course, I knew I believed in the immense
Iman and the sacrifices of These women. But did I feel connected to
them, not really.
And the reason was because I have a more extroverted personality,
and the only way that women were presented not hamdullah by my
parents, may Allah bless my parents and my family and all of
your parents and families. But in Muslim spaces, was often that
Khadija radila anha was a supportive wife who she was, that
false. Ima radila anha was a supportive daughter and mother,
which she was, and Aisha radiAllahu anha was a scholar with
immense modesty, which she was,
but that was all and to not know their personalities, to not know
how they interacted in society, to not understand the roles that they
played made it difficult for me to understand how I can follow their
example here in my society with the personality that I have, which
I continue to struggle with until this day, thanks to the wonderful
community that I love so much, my love bless us all, and I mean that
sincerely, may I truly bless us all. But I keep hearing this from
young women. I keep hearing this from little girls, and the fact
that it's still an issue breaks my heart
that so many of us grew up hating ourselves for no reason, literally
no reason, other than we were told we were not modest enough for
existing.
And when we look at Asmaa bin Jehovah, so will be Allahu anha,
she gives us permission, in her example, to play so many different
roles in society and in our homes. Asmaa dirma saladi Allahu, anha
was the wife of Jas, the one who gave that speech to najeshi Wadi
Allah,
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
in an earlier time when the Quraysh were dealing with a lot of
difficulty without food, and Abu Talib,
when he had multiple sons to care for, the Prophet salallahu alayhi
salam went to his uncle abdas la dilawan, and suggested that that
they both take some of the sons and kind of care for them in their
home. And so Ali radila And who went to the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi, saw them to be cared for in the home, financially supported
and cared for. And Jafar radila, one who went to the home of Abbas
radi lahana abus was married to lubaba when sha Allah said Amin is
going to speak about OMA foul, and her sister is Asmaa binter, amais
rodi Aloha, anha. Other sisters of Asmaa bintur mais are maimuna, who
became a Mother of the Believers, Sema, who was married to Hamza,
rodi Aloha, an Huma,
and Asmaa, she's the Prophet.
And so she marries Jaffa when they're young. And woman played a
political role in the society of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, because she was amongst the very first ones to give they
are to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This is a
political act. And then she seeks political asylum in Abyssinia, a
political act. And when she is in Abyssinia, growing the community,
she had three sons there, along with the small Muslim, small group
of Muslims who were there. All of them were part of the Abyssinian
society, impacting the society and the jeshi became Muslim.
On while we were there, we'll be Allah.
They stayed there for 10 years,
and they impacted the way that Islam began to spread in that part
of the world, when Finally it was time for them to make Hijrah to
Medina,
subhanAllah and najashi sees them go onto the boat, and he's giving
them his goodbye. And he says, Give my salaam to the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And one of the women narrates, and she
says, I got to give a najashi Salam to the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam.
So now they come to Medina.
They've made a Hijra from Abyssinia, from Mecca to messinia,
and now from Medina. And when they are in Medina, people are speaking
about them. They're speaking about how
these people of the boat didn't make. They're not really
considered migrants. They're not really considered like the
migrants that came to Medina from Mecca and so Asmaa Radi Allahu
anha, one time, she is sitting in a room with Hafsa rodilla Aha. And
Hafsa is the wife of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and
the daughter of Amma udilo Khan. And so Amma walks in, and he sees
a woman he doesn't recognize.
And so he asks his daughter, who is this? And she replies and says,
This is Asmaa bintura mais and so AMR says, Oh, this is the one from
Abyssinia, the one who was on the boat. I love the shift in
narration here, because initially it's Omar speaking to Hafsa,
radila habihi, oh, this one is the one. And then Asmaa responds, and
she's like, yes,
she takes on the conversation.
And so Allah AJ, we love him so much, and he's a person of promise
paradise, Wadi lahat. And so he speaks to her, and he says, We got
to Medina before you,
therefore we have more of a right to the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi
wa salam than you
do. And this narration is in buchari Asmaa, radiAllahu anha,
when she hears this, felt will be that she got angry,
and then she responded to Amad. Ali ala Wan and when she
responded, she didn't say, you're right, you are AMA, Aldi Allahu.
Anh, I have nothing to say in front of such a great man, which
she could have 100% said, it would have been 100% true. Rodi la Juan
Huma, she didn't say, Well, I'm a woman, and so I shouldn't speak in
front of a man. Maybe I should go speak to another man, to speak to
our model de la fan who like, maybe have Jennifer speak to our
model de la Juan Huma,
she became angry, and she responded to Ahmadu, and she said
to him that they had been there with the Prophet sallallahu,
alayhi wa salam, teaching them and feeding them and helping them and
mentoring them. And this is a summary of the Hadith,
and they were full away.
And she's like, I swear I'm not going to eat and I'm not going to
drink, I'm going to go to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa
sallam, and I'm going to tell him what you said.
And so she goes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and
she expresses the conversations the Prophet SAW.
And then he gives her the glad tidings that to our mother and his
companions,
there's not more of a right of
the Prophet Salla sum to them than to her and her companions. They
made hijra one time,
but Asmaa and her companions made hijra twice.
This narration was so beloved to the community of the migrants from
Abyssinia,
the Abu musalari, who is a great companion of the Prophet sway
Salam, and the group who came with her kept coming back and asking
her to say the narration over and over again, because it made them
feel so honored.
Also note that the conversation before this narration took place
was about how they hadn't been really considered immigrants.
That was a cultural conversation happening in the community Asmaa
Wadi lahuanha, by speaking up, changed that narrative to then
become amongst the highest, the elevated spiritual status, to have
made hijra twice with the community. When we use our voice
as women,
we may not see the outcome in our lifetime,
but we help shift cultural narrative, and that's why your
voice is so critical for our community, just like a.
Teaches us.
Jaafa Radi Allahu, Anhu was sent as a flag bearer, as a leader in
the Battle of Moza
and
after zay divan and harita was martyred. Jafar al dillahu, Anhu
was martyred. This was about a year or less from the time they
came from Abyssinian to Medina. And so the Prophet sallallahu,
alayhi wa salam, who it was, said Jafar Aldi Lahan, who looked the
most like him. This is his cousin. He was so happy when Jafar came
from Abyssinia that he said he wasn't he wasn't sure what made
him happier, the fact they sing Jafar, or the fact that they had
won the battle of Khayr that day.
And so when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is informed of
the passing of Jafar al the or knows about the passing of Jafar
al the
he was known as Jafar of Playa
al qayyar Because he lost both of his arms,
and so now he doesn't need the arms of us to move. Sha Allah. He
is considered a martyr in paradise. When the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to the house of Asmaa
Rali Allahu anhu,
he was emotional and he was overwhelmed as he was hugging and
kissing her three boys.
And so she asked him, she was afraid to ask him about the news,
because there might have been news about Jaffa ODI Lama
when he confirmed her husband's martyrdom,
she was overcome with emotion, just like the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa salam was overcome with emotion.
And in this moment, subhanAllah,
while the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is affirming the
immense loss to the community and his immense personal loss, while
he is seeing her children and so saddened by the fact that they are
now an orphan,
while he set the faulty model the law anha that this is the or a
summary of what was said, that this is certainly a day to be sad,
someone to really cry over.
He informs Asmaa radiAllahu anha not to scream and tear her
clothes.
This is such an interesting point. Have you ever heard that women
should not go to the grave?
Have you ever have raise your hand if you have never been to the
grave, to a graveyard, to a cemetery,
raise it really high. Let's look around women who've never been to
a graveyard or cemetery. Okay, raise your hand if you've been
told women shouldn't go to the graveyard or to the cemetery.
Okay, raise your hand if you have been told you shouldn't even pray
the gennesa.
All right,
in the beginning in Mecca, the companions will the Allah, were
new in their belief. They were still following or learning, still
learning about Islam and about the cultural practices that they used
to practice not being appropriate anymore. One of those practices
was going to the grave, and when they were at the grave, they would
call out to the dead.
One is they would praise them to the point of almost worship. Two,
they would take them as intercessors between them and
Allah. Three, they would hire people.
Part of their custom was to hire people, and specifically woman to
come to the grave and to basically build up the personality of the
person who died. So they could pay someone, a person could pay
someone before they died, or pay woman, specifically, because this
was especially a part of the pre Islamic woman's culture, to go to
the grave and to be the hype people of this dead person, so
that the people still living could be like, Wow, all the living come
from that family, they would become arrogant about who had
passed away. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam forbid men and
women from going to the grave to protect them from falling into
these practices that could lead to calling out to the dead instead of
Allah, once their hearts were firm, once Iman had been
strengthened in their hearts, then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam changed that ruling and instead ordered and recommended
that the believers, men and women, go to the grave, go to the
cemetery, because it's an opportunity to remember how short
life is. It's an opportunity to think about our own lives and how
we are going to live when we're here. And it's an opportunity for
grief, to process grief, to realize that Allah is the only one
who is really with us in these moments.
Yes, and this is why there's a specific narration of the Prophet
sallallahu, alas, cursing woman who frequent graves, going day and
night every single day, day and night, every single day,
obsessively going and not doing anything else and not being able
to focus on the other things in life, including the responsibility
upon your own body. Why? Because this was a practice that was
especially common amongst women that included whipping their
clothing and screaming. Asmaa Aldi Allahu, anha had been in
Abyssinia, so she had not been in Medina. She had not been in Mecca
for many years in which the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa
salam was teaching fit so in this moment, the Prophet salallahu
alayhi wa sallam, despite the fact that he has lost his own cousin,
whom he loves so much after being apart from him for 10 plus years,
despite the fact that he has so much mercy for his these new
orphans that he is crying and overwhelmed with emotion, despite
The fact that he says to the people of Medina to cook food for
Asmaa and her family, so that she doesn't have to take and worry
about that in this moment, she can focus on her family, her children
and her grief. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam,
respectfully, kindly, lovingly teaches her.
Have you ever been taught in such a way in such a moment,
or have you been in the midst of your grief and because you are a
woman, have been told
you cannot even cry? This person that you love is going to hear you
crying, and they're going to be punished
the immense pain that women experience sometimes in even the
biggest spaces of pain is a testament to the strength of your
faith. We ask Allah to make us sincere and give us that that and
I didn't give you so many references in what I just
mentioned because of the shortness of the time that discussion is
literally an entire hour. But when did I just finish writing a
manuscript for a book addressing all these issues related to women
and inshallah. All the sources are going to be in there, inshallah in
two years when it's published. So Inshallah, one year inshallah. But
the point is that we have to rot. We have so much scholarship that
has addressed this and why it is and the way it is in the context,
has any of that context been even ever mentioned to any of you when
it's been told women shouldn't go to the great where is the context?
Context is so critical, because if we only take one statement, then
we can say, Oh, the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa salam, just
send this to Asmaa Wadi Allahu, anha and her pain. We don't know
that he was in pain. We don't know that he went to love and support
her family. So Allah Ali wa salam, after Jafar radila, one who passed
away Abu Bakr, Al dillahman who lost his wife, ol man, the mother
of I shar, radi lahana, and after the Idah of Asmaa, radila one ha
Abu
Bakr and Asmaa radila One, who got married,
and so now she marries
Tabata Abu Bakr radila One,
and she's pregnant,
and they go to make Hajj while she's pregnant. And guess what
happens? She gives birth on their way to Hajj.
And so now, as the Prophet sallallahu, like, What should she
do? She's in me fast now she is bleeding a particular type of
blood that we're not supposed to do Salah in. And they're going for
Hajj. And in Amra or hajj, there are parts that we need to be in
wudhu. So what should she do? The Prophet sallallahu, Sallam doesn't
say, Oh, she should turn back, or we should stay here, and no one
should go. The Prophet sallallahu just teaches the fifth of what to
do, and she continues on the way and makes Hajj, the farewell heads
of the Prophet sallallahu. Sallam the same Hajj in which Aisha
radiAllahu anha also got her period, and that she shared the
fact that she had gotten her period, and now all of the Muslims
until the end of time know that Asmaa Wadi aha was in postpartum
bleeding during Hajj, and that Aisha radiAllahu anha was in her
period during Hajj, so that all of us women today, when Allah has
honored us with something that's so critical for the continuation
of humanity that we do not feel like it's something terrible, like
it's a punishment from Allah, like it's something that we need to be
ashamed of because it's a natural part of our bodies that Allah
created us with and we can still go for Hajj and Umrah, even in
this state,
what a mercy from Allah, that He has given these women as examples
to us that we have because of their modesty,
because.
Of their modesty. We know these stories because their modesty
meant commitment to Allah.
And what better commitment than being so clear about what's
happening to you that you can help other women centuries later,
when Fatima radila anha
was very sick and passing away, Asmaa radila anha was taking care
of her,
and as she was taking care of her, Fatima told her she doesn't like
the fact that when a woman passes away, or when she passes away,
that the burial shroud kind of shows the shape of her body.
And so, Asmaa had seen in Abyssinia,
that they would build with sticks and with different pieces of
nature, kind of like a, like a, not a coffin, but something that
would hold the body when it's being delivered from the janezza
to the to the grave. So as faulty model, who I'm not, asked to see
what that looks like. And so Asmaa rabilah built it for her faultima
saw it. She liked it. And when Fatima passed away, she was taken
in this
coffin like
box,
and that was how her body was transported. Will the Allahu Anhu?
And it was from Asmaa, radiAllahu anha, seeing that in Abyssinia and
then sharing that with faulty model, the law anha. But also,
let's, let's take a minute to consider that faulty model, the
Allahu Anhu is passing away, and her concern is that the shape of
her body is going to be noticed after she dies. Little dilawanha,
yes, we have an obsession about speaking about modesty in our
community sometimes, and may Allah bless our community and help us,
you know, feel loved in every way,
but also on the same end,
we speak about hijab in ways that sometimes women in our community
feel so hyper sexualized that we don't even feel comfortable being
women in Muslim spaces completely covered Because of the
hypersexualization of women in our community
falter. Anha, her concern was in connection to Allah. It wasn't a
political act. It wasn't about. It wasn't about when sometimes
we speak about hijab and we say, oh, you know, don't be obsessed
with the done yet, wasn't it was worship. That's all it was. It was
worship for her.
And as a community, we need to step back, especially considering
globally, and consider, are we building the identity of our
sisters, helping our sisters feel connected? Because hijab was not
revealed until at least 14 years after the beginning of the
revelation. Do all of us have 14 years of mentorship by someone
like the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa Senda, where the focus is
building our Imaan and building our individualized personalities
and ourselves and our connection and the importance of our
contribution, before we obsessively speak about hijab,
faulty model the anha saw this as an act of worship as it is,
and so when Asmaa radiAllahu anha is taking care of her body, she
was one of three who washed the body of faulty model de la honha,
we can See the honor that she gave to her wishes
after Fatima radila passed away, Abu Bakr albilaan who passed away,
and Abu Bakr had stipulated that he wanted Fatima, excuse me,
excuse Me, Asmaa
to wash his body,
not his sons,
not Muhammad ibn Abu Bakr, the son between Asmaa and Abu Bakr, or any
of his other children. Asmaa, radiAllahu anha, she washed the
body of the first Caliph of Islam, one of the the best, the most
righteous companion will be a Lebanon.
And after she had washed his body, she came out and she said, today I
am fasting, and it is a very cold day. Do I need to make a whistle?
Because I made a whistle for the person who passed away.
And there are two narrations. One say she spoke to a group of
muhajirun. Another said she spoke to us. Man radi laharan Who and
amaldi lahoman who overheard, and they said, No, you don't
she washed the body of her husband. She is an immense grief,
and she says she's fasting.
And she's one time. Does she need to make whistle despite the fact
that she's exhausted and she's emotionally overwhelmed and it's a
freezing cold day, does she still need to make little the fact that
she's considering these issues shows to us that we can be focused
on the technicalities of how to practice while still fully
embracing all aspects of our pain and our joy and our personalities
and who we are, internally and externally.
She marries aliyahu, Anhu after Abu Bakr Al RadiAllahu an
and one day her son, Muhammad, the son of Jaffa, gets into an
argument with her other son, Muhammad, the son of Abu Bakr. And
she has two sons with Ali radi Lahan and hum and so they get into
an argument. And what is like, my father was better than your
father, and the other one says, My father is better than your father.
And so what does she Ali radima and Hu say, he says, What did you
say to her? And she says,
I told them that Jaffa was the best of the youth and that Abu
Bakr was the best of the elders. And Ali said, to summarize, he was
like, Would you leave for me?
Rodi, Aloha, Abu in Asmaa, Rali, Allahu, anha, we also see
that when she is in grief, Subhan Allah, she's still narrating
Hadith
that she's gone through so much in her life, but she doesn't
compromise on who she is.
And the Prophet salallahu taught for a DUA, or she narrated a DUA.
And this dua that she narrated when you say it, when you're
afflicted with sadness or depression, when you make this
dua, Allah panata will lift it from you. And that dua is Allahu
Rabi, Allahu, rahby, la Sheri Kela, my Lord Allah is my Lord, my
caretaker, my nurturer, and there's no one worthy of worship
with him, Allah will be la sharika. And I'd like to add and
say that when you make this, if you're going through depression or
anxiety, or you are having thoughts of unaliving or anything
related
also, seek therapy, because
the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was there as a mentor. He
was there as emotional support for the companions. He was teaching
gods to he himself, sallallahu alaihi wasallam sought support
from um salam alaikum, from Khadija, RadiAllahu. We have
specific narrations of this. So when the Prophet sallallahu,
alayhi wa sallam is teaching us about dua that we can say to help
us through those times of emotion, it doesn't mean only say this dua,
and Allah said, and everything's great, make this dua and also seek
support. Maharashtan is right here, may Allah bless Dr Rania and
all those involved in trying to support the emotional overwhelming
experience, emotionally overwhelming experiences that many
of us may experience.
Finally, Asmaa Lodi lahuan had teaches us
that, like the woman companions, we can be shy
or we can be extremely bold. We can be extroverts or introverts,
or someone in between, or a mix of it. We can be housewives and stay
at home moms, or we can work, or we can be a mix of all. But no
matter what,
we have a role to play.
You were created in this time period, in this space, in this
land, for a reason.
Allah placed you here intentionally. You're not a random
person that was born and that's going to die.
You are here for a reason, whether that means you are here to support
the next generation of children and grandchildren with the most
healing love you can share, so that Insha Allah, we can work
towards a healed ummah. Or rather, that means you are building an
institution, or working, or whatever it means you have a role
to play. And in Asmaa radiAllahu anha, we see that even
unfortunately, when we speak about women, we actively consider her
relationship status as what gives her worth.
And yet, whether a woman is divorced or a widow or has always
been single or married three times like Asmaa radila Hua and Ha,
you have worth because of who you are as a believer, you have worth
because of who you are in connection to Allah and how you
use any of those relationships in your life to come closer to Him
and to help others come back to him. I.
Thank you so much. Stephen
Mariam Amida.