Lobna Mulla – Am I a jealous person

AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses how people can overcome their jealousy and feelings of sadness when they see something that is not their fault. They suggest making a "good deeds on the day of judgment" to stay focused on the situation and count your blessings. The speaker also advises people to avoid social media and stay focused on their situation.
AI: Summary ©
Am I really a jealous person?
Dear Osteda, it feels like everyone around me
is getting married, having kids or moving up
in their careers.
I'm struggling to be happy for them when
I'm just stuck where I am.
How do I get over my jealousy?
You know, first I think it's really important
to acknowledge that it is really tough to
be the only one amongst your friends or
sometimes your family and you're the only one
that's not getting married.
You're going to all these baby showers, you're
going to these weddings, you're watching people post
on Instagram they're bad, you know, they just
got promoted or they're getting into this program
and you really feel stuck.
That can be really hard.
So how do you prevent those feelings from
jealousy of entering your heart?
You love those people.
You don't want to feel angry towards them
or worse, angry towards Allah.
So what's the best thing to do?
The best thing to do, of course, when
you see something that somebody else has or
a situation that they're in and you wish
that you can be in that situation, make
dua for them.
Then make dua for yourself.
And I know you're saying, look, I've been
making dua the same one for years.
How can I keep still making dua?
Why should you still make dua?
Because Allah swt loves to hear when you're
repetitive in your duas.
He doesn't get tired of it.
You might be getting tired of it, but
he doesn't.
And when you acknowledge that this is a
test for you, that okay, the fact that
I want to have a partner and I
don't have a partner or I want to
have children and I don't have children or
I want to get a job and I
can't find a job.
When you find yourself those feelings of jealousy
creep into your heart, the best thing to
do is to stop and make dua for
that person.
Why?
Because when you make dua for somebody and
they're not around you, the angels will say
ameen to that dua for that person and
they will make a similar dua for you.
That's absolutely beautiful.
Every single time that you are making dua,
Allah swt is answering it for you, even
though you don't see it.
It may come to you now, it may
come to you in a different form, it
may come to you in the form of
good deeds on the day of judgment.
The other thing that you can do when
you're starting to feel overwhelmed with those feelings
of jealousy is to really count your blessings.
Say, you know, Alhamdulillah, I have time on
my hands.
I'm able to maybe start a project.
I'm able to better myself in a certain
way so that your mind doesn't go towards
the things that make you jealous.
And last but not least, sometimes it's really
helpful to stay away from social media for
a bit because those pictures, those lovey-dovey,
you know, handholdings, those announcements, all of those
things that you see, it can really become
like daggers into your heart every time you
see it.
And it doesn't mean you're a bad person.
It's normal.
You don't have those things and seeing them
over and over and over again and people
smiling and laughing, it really just sometimes adds
to your pain.
And you will find that you'll have more
time to count your blessings and feel better
about your situation, Inshallah.