Khalil Adam – Leading Your Family To The Ultimate Success

Khalil Adam
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AI: Summary ©

The importance of leadership and fulfillment in one's life is emphasized in a series of advice and advice for parents. The speaker emphasizes the importance of setting priorities for family members to achieve their goals and prioritizing the dunya for men and women. The speaker also highlights the need for a person to be a man and mother, breaking cycle of negative negativity, and giving them relief and victory. Additionally, the speaker stresses the importance of prioritizing the dunya for men and women, as men are not worthy of getting married, and emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the dunya for women and breaking cycle of negative negativity in a home and giving them relief and victory.

AI: Summary ©

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			We first, and foremost start by praising Allah
		
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			for being given the opportunity to be Muslims,
		
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			to be guided, and had it not been
		
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			for Allah's guidance,
		
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			we would not have been guided.
		
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			And we praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for
		
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			sending us the message of Muhammad salallahu alaihi
		
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			wa sallam with the book, the Quran, the
		
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			manual in which there is no crookedness in
		
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			it.
		
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			We send our peace and blessings upon the
		
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			prophet Muhammad always.
		
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			Furthermore,
		
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			I wanted to begin by saying,
		
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			I thank all of you for coming, first
		
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			of all. You know, you could've been anywhere
		
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			but you're here in the masjid.
		
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			And this is an important topic that is
		
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			relevant to everyone.
		
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			How to lead a family to success?
		
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			We talked about the khutba, we're gonna pull
		
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			in some of that information from the khutba
		
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			about all of us are leaders whether we
		
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			like it or not. As we said,
		
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			The prophet
		
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			he says, all of us are shepherds, I.
		
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			E. Leaders,
		
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			and we all have a flock that we're
		
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			responsible
		
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			over.
		
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			And,
		
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			the question now becomes, if it is an
		
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			obligation for us to lead,
		
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			how do we lead? What's the manual of
		
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			leading a family to success?
		
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			Yes, Sienna?
		
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			Yes.
		
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			I'm
		
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			I'm blocking a car.
		
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			I'm sorry.
		
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			No no no. My wife can move it.
		
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			Maryam?
		
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			Maryam?
		
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			Can you move the Sienna please? 907.
		
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			It's a green Sienna, minivan.
		
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			Yeah.
		
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			You have the picture?
		
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			License bridge? No, no, that's not me. No,
		
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			no, that's not me. That's in Pennsylvania.
		
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			Sorry, never mind. That's not the car, No,
		
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			no problem.
		
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			I know I was in the right place
		
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			but just in case. I'm a guest so
		
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			you have to excuse me.
		
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			So we'll make this interactive in the lab.
		
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			Leading your family to ultimate success.
		
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			What in your words is ultimate success?
		
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			What's the ultimate success?
		
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			Jannah, right?
		
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			How to lead our families to jannah. What's
		
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			the ay in the Quran? Allah subhanahu wa
		
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			ta'ala says,
		
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			All souls shall taste death.
		
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			And all of you will be given their
		
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			reward on the day of judgment. Whatever they
		
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			earn, they'll be given.
		
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			Whoever
		
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			saves himself from the fire
		
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			and enters into Jannah, then they have won.
		
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			It's a simple formula, nothing complicated.
		
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			And this whole thing that you see, this
		
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			worldly life, everything in between
		
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			is just a deception,
		
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			a passing deception.
		
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			You know, we're we're so entangled and engulfed
		
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			in it. We're worried about the risk, we're
		
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			worried about this, we're worried about marriage, we're
		
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			worried about the stresses of our children. At
		
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			the end of the day there is only
		
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			one thing,
		
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			If you take your family to Jannah, you
		
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			have succeeded.
		
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			And if you save them from the fire,
		
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			then,
		
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			you also have succeeded.
		
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			And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
		
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			Oh you who believe
		
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			Save yourselves. He says, all you who believe,
		
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			your main obligation
		
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			is to save yourselves and your families from
		
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			a fire in which the firewood are people
		
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			in stones.
		
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			Upon it are angels who don't disobey what
		
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			Allah has commanded them to do. Meaning there's
		
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			not gonna be angels who will say, you
		
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			know what? I feel sorry for him. I'm
		
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			just gonna let him out.
		
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			They're gonna yell out to Malik, the guardian
		
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			of the fire. Oh, Malik, give us relief.
		
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			And Malik is someone who is the guardian
		
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			of the hellfire. He will not be even
		
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			given an ability
		
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			to smile.
		
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			When he met the prophet on the day
		
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			of Israel Miraj,
		
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			the prophet said to Jibreel, who's that? He
		
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			said that is Malik,
		
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			the guardian of the fire. He says why
		
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			does he look like that? You know, very
		
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			stern, doesn't smile. He says, he is not
		
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			to smile for anybody. But he says, if
		
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			he would smile for anyone, it would be
		
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			for you, oh messenger of Allah. But his
		
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			job is to make sure that the punishment
		
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			is inflicted for those who neglected their responsibility.
		
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			And we said that all of us whether
		
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			we like or not, in any capacity, we
		
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			are leaders.
		
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			We can't shy away from that. In fact,
		
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			the Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, he encourages, he
		
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			says,
		
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			Oh Allah, make from our wives and our
		
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			children coolness of the eyes. And then he
		
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			also says,
		
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			and make us leaders for the people. Make
		
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			us leaders for the people. So, today, we're
		
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			going to talk about qualities of leadership as
		
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			a member of the family, someone leading the
		
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			family. What are the key ingredients? We're gonna
		
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			pull in from Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi sallam. There's
		
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			a book that I recommend all of you
		
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			to read when you get a chance, children
		
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			around the Prophet.
		
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			This is a book that talks about how
		
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			the Prophet dealt with children.
		
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			You know, very subtle things you may not
		
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			notice. We're gonna talk about that insha'Allah.
		
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			Also, women around the Prophet, the wives of
		
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			the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, how he
		
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			dealt with them as well. He was human
		
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			at the end of the day.
		
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			It wasn't a perfect world even for him.
		
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			So, you will see a lot of that
		
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			insha Allah, and you'll see how he reacted
		
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			to those things.
		
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			And then, the last thing I wanna say
		
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			is to to to know
		
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			and to acknowledge
		
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			that what you have of family is a
		
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			trust from Allah. And Allah
		
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			warns, he says, or
		
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			you who believe
		
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			Don't betray Allah and his messenger.
		
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			Why? How do you betray Allah's messenger? By
		
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			not fulfilling the trust, abandoning
		
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			the amana. There's a trust put on you,
		
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			and you said, you know what? I don't
		
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			wanna I don't wanna deal with this. I'm
		
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			gonna walk out on the family. I'm gonna
		
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			walk out on my responsibility.
		
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			He says, don't be like those who betrayed
		
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			Allah and his messenger and they betrayed their
		
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			trusts while they knew. So, insha'Allah, we're gonna
		
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			take the case study of Luqman alaihi sallam.
		
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			Luqman,
		
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			many of you know Luqman. Raise your hand
		
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			if you've heard of Luqman, of course. Was
		
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			he a prophet or a righteous man?
		
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			What do you think? Righteous man?
		
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			Who says prophet? Anybody says prophet? Some say
		
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			he was a prophet. There are some opinions
		
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			that say he was a prophet, but the
		
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			strongest opinion is that he was a righteous
		
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			wise man.
		
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			Luqman was given hikma. Allah
		
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			says, that we gave Luqman hikma. And when
		
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			you've been given hikma, from
		
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			an Whoever is given hikma has been giving
		
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			a lot of good. Most people don't put
		
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			worth, they don't put value in wisdom. Right?
		
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			They're like, oh, this old wise man, you
		
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			know, he's just he can't pay the bills
		
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			with that wisdom. Right? But this wisdom can
		
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			make life easy for you. Right? Because you
		
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			know how to put things in the right
		
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			place. If you make the opposite of hikmah,
		
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			is what they say,
		
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			when you oppress
		
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			or not only oppress, but you put things
		
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			in the wrong place because of lack of
		
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			wisdom,
		
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			you incur difficulty in your life. Some people
		
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			wonder, why why is life difficult for me?
		
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			You don't have the knowledge and the wisdom.
		
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			You're not doing things the smart way. You're
		
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			doing things the hard way. And so, even
		
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			though Luqman wasn't a rich man, he was
		
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			a slave that was freed,
		
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			but he had something that people recognize and
		
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			they gravitated towards.
		
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			An Arab man came to Luqman,
		
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			an Arab man who was free and he
		
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			says, there's something about you, you know, I
		
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			I just love to be in your company
		
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			and I love to hear from you. When
		
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			you speak, the words are profound, and they
		
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			I feel like they have meaning. So, he
		
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			says, what is it about you,
		
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			that you practice, that you hold as a
		
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			standard?
		
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			So, Luqman replied, he says, 3 things that
		
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			I hold dear to myself,
		
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			and he imparted this to his family.
		
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			The first thing he says,
		
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			That when I'm entrusted with something, I take
		
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			it serious.
		
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			And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, this is a
		
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			characteristics of the believers. Right? That he says,
		
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			Take what I have given you to Ben
		
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			Israel with strength.
		
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			Strength and seriousness.
		
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			We can't be, you know, haphazard about things.
		
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			We have to be precise. We plan, we
		
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			prepare
		
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			because this is a great Amanah. So, he
		
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			says, the first thing I do for myself
		
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			and I impart to my family is Adul
		
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			Amanah.
		
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			It means fulfilling the trust which leads to
		
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			integrity
		
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			Integrity
		
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			protects your family. When you're, you know, you're
		
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			concerned about that, you know, you don't wanna,
		
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			misrepresent something or you don't want to abandon
		
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			a trust given to you, you are someone
		
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			who is going to be upright. He says
		
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			the second thing is
		
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			When I speak, I speak only truth. If
		
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			I don't know it to be true, I
		
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			won't say it at all. So, and the
		
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			Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam in hadith, he
		
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			says,
		
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			that truthfulness, living a life of truth, always
		
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			standing up for truth
		
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			leads to what? Righteousness.
		
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			And bir, righteousness, leads to Jannah. So it
		
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			starts from truth,
		
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			standing up for truth, living by truth, and
		
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			only speaking the truth, and he imparted that
		
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			to his family as well. And then he
		
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			says the third thing,
		
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			that leaving off that which does not concern
		
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			me. And this is a hadith in in
		
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			in Nawawi. He says,
		
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			from the completion of the iman of a
		
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			believer
		
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			is that he leaves off that which does
		
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			not concern him. He doesn't concern about gossip,
		
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			he's not backbiting,
		
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			he's not going to things that don't are
		
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			are not important.
		
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			And if you take these three principles,
		
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			this is why Luqman says, I have that
		
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			aura that you are asking me about, even
		
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			though I was a slave.
		
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			And so, when you look at the
		
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			the Quran, and this is what we're here
		
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			to do, as the prophet says, whenever a
		
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			group of people look into the book of
		
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			Allah, they study it among themselves.
		
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			The angels come down and they envelop them
		
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			with mercy and tranquility
		
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			and Allah forgives the whole gathering. And then
		
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			they said, what if there's a man who's
		
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			just, you know, just came, he's not even
		
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			part of the gathering, he just came to
		
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			meet with so and so? Him too. Everybody
		
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			in the gathering, that's how powerful the forgiveness
		
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			of Allah is when people come together to
		
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			study the book of Allah. So, insha'Allah, we're
		
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			going to take the verses about Allah subhanahu
		
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			wa ta'ala
		
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			mentioning Luqman.
		
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			Verse number 14, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says,
		
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			The first thing here, Luqman, as he's talking
		
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			to his son, Allah interjects a piece of
		
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			advice.
		
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			He says, remember those and,
		
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			or was Sayyid al Insan, we advised
		
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			the the man
		
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			with to be dutiful to his parents, to
		
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			his mother particularly.
		
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			She carried him difficulty upon difficulty
		
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			through hardship upon hardship and their weaning takes
		
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			2 years. So, he says, so be grateful
		
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			to me and your parents,
		
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			to me is the final return.
		
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			Gratefulness is the the first point
		
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			where we are now going to be leading
		
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			our families.
		
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			To live a life of gratitude,
		
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			Always remind them of the things they have
		
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			versus the things they don't have. If you
		
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			can do this at the beginning,
		
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			you will succeed.
		
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			Even if you don't have food to provide,
		
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			they'll be trained to look at what they
		
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			do have. Look at the children of Gaza.
		
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			Look what they're going through. Look at
		
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			the children of Sudan and Syria. You know,
		
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			they are literally having nothing.
		
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			No electricity, no food, no shelter even. The
		
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			basic necessities of life, yet they're still playing,
		
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			they're smiling, they're saying,
		
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			we put our trust in Allah and they're
		
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			moving on. Life is not over.
		
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			While our children here in the west, you
		
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			know, something small happens and all of a
		
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			sudden they feel like an avalanche just falling
		
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			on them. Right? I didn't get the spaghetti
		
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			that I wanted or oh, I didn't get
		
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			the iPad, or I didn't get the all
		
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			of a sudden life is over for them.
		
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			Right? So there is a definite perspective problem.
		
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			We need to train our children. This is
		
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			what we said in the,
		
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			a teacher gave the student a piece of
		
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			paper
		
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			and she put in the piece of paper
		
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			a black dot and she asked each student,
		
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			what do you see?
		
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			So each student, what did they say? We
		
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			saw a black dot.
		
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			She says, you're trained to see the black
		
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			dot
		
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			when it's very small, where you could have
		
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			said, I see the white around the black
		
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			dot. Nobody nobody thought to say, I see
		
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			white. They said, only I see the black
		
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			because your brain is trained for that. It's
		
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			the, you know, the, flight or fight, you
		
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			know, that where you train for,
		
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			to for danger.
		
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			So, you have to train yourself to think
		
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			about the good things in life and you
		
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			do this with your family. Together, you sit
		
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			down, you say, let us be grateful. 50
		
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			things we're grateful for. Alhamdulillah, we have this.
		
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			Alhamdulillah. Train them. They don't know how to
		
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			do it. Even us as adults, we have
		
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			a hard time doing it. But if you
		
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			look at surah the Duha, whether Allah says,
		
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			The favors of your Lord, proclaim it, say
		
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			it out loud. You know what? Allah has
		
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			given me this, Allah has given me this.
		
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			It will train your brain to always look
		
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			for the good in any bad situation.
		
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			And so here,
		
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			Luqman is imparting that to his son. Then
		
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			he says, Yeah, Boonay, oh my son.
		
00:13:47 --> 00:13:48
			So,
		
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			Luqman is saying to his son,
		
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			first he says before this,
		
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			don't ever do shirk.
		
00:13:57 --> 00:14:00
			That shirk associating partners with Allah is a
		
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			big wrong. It'll destroy your life.
		
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			Anything that you've worked on, you've been successful
		
00:14:05 --> 00:14:07
			in a business, you've been a doctor, you've
		
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			been this, you've been that, anything will crumble
		
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			down because you associate partners with Allah. So,
		
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			the first thing is you have to make
		
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			sure whenever you do something, you do it
		
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			for Allah. Then he says here, he imparts
		
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			on him how powerful Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
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			is. He says, oh my son, and here
		
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			pay attention, he says, yeah, bunayyah, it's an
		
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			atonement of love.
		
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			You know when the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa
		
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			sallam would address some of his sahaba, he
		
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			would let them know he loves them first
		
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			before he gives them the hadith. Like Mu'adhib
		
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			bin Jabil. What does he say? Who knows
		
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			the hadith?
		
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			That's one hadith, correct. But the one I'm
		
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			looking for is specifically when he says,
		
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			Alright. He starts off by saying,
		
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			Mu'az, I love you for the sake of
		
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			Allah. And then which hadith does he give
		
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			him? We all say after salah.
		
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			He says, don't forget to say after every
		
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			salah,
		
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			Allah help me to remember you, to be
		
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			grateful to you and to worship you in
		
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			the best way. But before whenever Mu'az who
		
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			was a great alum, he went to Hashem
		
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			and he spread the hadith there.
		
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			The students would say, whenever he told us
		
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			this hadith, he told us the same way
		
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			the prophet told him.
		
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			I love you for the sake of Allah
		
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			and then he would narrate the hadith. Because
		
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			what what came down is not only the
		
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			hadith, the love that was given through that
		
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			hadith.
		
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			Right? So here, you know the atonement of
		
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			love, Yeah Buney, O my dear beloved son.
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:39
			Ibrahim used it with his father when he
		
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			says, You Abati,
		
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			O my dear beloved father. And Allah uses
		
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			it for us.
		
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			When does Allah use it for us? When
		
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			he says what?
		
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			Yeah, Ibadi.
		
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			It's like saying, Oh my dear beloved slaves,
		
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			my slaves.
		
00:15:54 --> 00:15:56
			You know, there's an association, Allah is saying,
		
00:15:56 --> 00:15:58
			Yeah Ibadi, and then He'll give you some
		
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			ayaz or some advice.
		
00:16:00 --> 00:16:01
			And so, very important to not take that
		
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			out of the formula. Whenever you're teaching,
		
00:16:04 --> 00:16:05
			imparting advice,
		
00:16:05 --> 00:16:08
			always let them know you're coming from a
		
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			position of love. When they see that, they'll
		
00:16:11 --> 00:16:13
			receive it better. Right? And so, what does
		
00:16:13 --> 00:16:15
			he say, yeah, Buneya. He says, oh my
		
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			dear beloved son,
		
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			even if a deed were the weight of
		
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			a mustard seed,
		
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			if it was hidden in a rock or
		
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			in the heavens or in the earth.
		
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			Imagine a mustard seed in the middle of
		
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			a rock, somewhere in the heavens and the
		
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			earth.
		
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			Allah says, Yet be Allah. Allah will bring
		
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			it out. Yet be Allah is is giving
		
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			the imagery, Allah will immediately bring it out.
		
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			His knowledge is so powerful.
		
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			Any good that you do or any bad
		
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			that you do, I want you to know
		
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			my dear son,
		
00:16:44 --> 00:16:46
			Allah will bring it out.
		
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			So now that What is this building? That
		
00:16:49 --> 00:16:51
			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is not gonna let
		
00:16:51 --> 00:16:52
			anything go to waste.
		
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			Everything I do, I have to know that
		
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			Allah will account for it. So he's now
		
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			conscious about his actions.
		
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			He understands the power of Allah subhanahu wa
		
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			ta'ala. As a small boy or a small
		
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			child, you're telling them about how who Allah
		
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			is,
		
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			how powerful His knowledge is and He's subtle
		
00:17:10 --> 00:17:10
			but aware.
		
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			You know, He doesn't punish you for everything
		
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			but He knows everything.
		
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			So if you got away with something, don't
		
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			think you got away with it. It's written
		
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			in a book. If it's a mustard seed,
		
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			you will see it of good or bad.
		
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			So it is zilzilah.
		
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			So here he tells him that then he
		
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			says,
		
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			I owe my son, I want you to
		
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			establish the salah. And this is the advice
		
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			of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to Musa alayhi
		
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			salam. He says
		
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			He says establish the prayer so you can
		
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			remember me. That's the way I want you
		
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			to remember me.
		
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			Right? And this is a priority we need
		
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			to give our families.
		
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			We do the opposite. Right? We we prioritize
		
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			the dunya.
		
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			Right? But in the akhirah, we're like, yeah,
		
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			just bare minimum is okay. As long as
		
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			you do this is okay. But listen, look
		
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			at to the verbs that Allah Subhanahu Wa
		
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			Ta'ala uses.
		
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			He says,
		
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			he says, he is the one who made
		
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			the earth flat for you to to walk
		
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			around and move about.
		
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			He says,
		
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			he uses the word walk,
		
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			walk on it. Right? So, walking is like
		
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			it's like you're taking your time a little
		
00:18:17 --> 00:18:20
			bit, it's not crazy, you're not rushing or
		
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			anything. Right? This is Allah's prioritization,
		
00:18:23 --> 00:18:25
			He uses different verbs. He says famshu. But
		
00:18:25 --> 00:18:27
			when it comes to, for example, the jumasalah,
		
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			what does Allah say? What verb does Allah
		
00:18:30 --> 00:18:30
			use?
		
00:18:33 --> 00:18:35
			Hurry up. Not physically,
		
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			but know in your mind it's important, I
		
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			can't miss jumaa.
		
00:18:38 --> 00:18:41
			I I there's an urgency there. Right? And
		
00:18:41 --> 00:18:43
			then when it comes to the forgiveness of
		
00:18:43 --> 00:18:45
			Allah, what does Allah use? What verb does
		
00:18:45 --> 00:18:45
			Allah use?
		
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			Right? You now you really better run. Right?
		
00:18:51 --> 00:18:53
			The forgiveness of Allah, don't let an opportunity
		
00:18:53 --> 00:18:55
			where you can get the forgiveness pass you
		
00:18:55 --> 00:18:57
			by. You gotta be at the forefront. There's
		
00:18:57 --> 00:18:59
			an opportunity, you gotta be there.
		
00:18:59 --> 00:19:02
			Right? So there's an awareness by the words
		
00:19:02 --> 00:19:04
			that Allah is using that the dunya is
		
00:19:04 --> 00:19:06
			at the last It's, you know, you're walking
		
00:19:06 --> 00:19:08
			in the dunya. You know, you walk there.
		
00:19:08 --> 00:19:10
			But when it comes to forgiveness, when it
		
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			comes to zikr, when it comes to these
		
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			things, you rush there. You make sure you
		
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			don't miss that. So this prioritization,
		
00:19:16 --> 00:19:18
			do the children feel it?
		
00:19:18 --> 00:19:20
			Right. They have to feel it from you.
		
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			If they don't see it in you, they
		
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			don't see you doing these things, then they're
		
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			gonna just they're not gonna hear what you're
		
00:19:26 --> 00:19:29
			saying. They're gonna do what you're doing, what
		
00:19:29 --> 00:19:32
			you're prioritizing. Right? If you wake up after
		
00:19:32 --> 00:19:34
			sunrise, right, and you're not really phased by
		
00:19:34 --> 00:19:37
			it, you're like, oh, just pray whenever you
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:39
			wake up. But when it comes to work,
		
00:19:40 --> 00:19:41
			you got the alarm, you're like, you're yelling
		
00:19:41 --> 00:19:42
			at the the family, why don't you wake
		
00:19:42 --> 00:19:44
			me up for work? So now what are
		
00:19:44 --> 00:19:45
			the children seeing?
		
00:19:45 --> 00:19:47
			They're like, oh, dad prioritize work
		
00:19:48 --> 00:19:50
			more than he prioritize fajr salah.
		
00:19:51 --> 00:19:53
			It's that's how they're gonna take it. So
		
00:19:53 --> 00:19:56
			here Allah subhanahu ta'ala is through Luqman is
		
00:19:56 --> 00:19:57
			telling his son,
		
00:19:57 --> 00:20:00
			oh my son, make sure you establish the
		
00:20:00 --> 00:20:01
			prayer. It doesn't go anywhere.
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:08
			And that salah should lead you to something.
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:11
			Right? Now we question our salah
		
00:20:11 --> 00:20:13
			because if the salah doesn't lead you to
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:16
			enjoying the good and forbid the evil
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18
			then something's wrong with salah.
		
00:20:21 --> 00:20:21
			Yes.
		
00:20:33 --> 00:20:34
			Yes. Yes, sure. Yeah, it's a good question.
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:38
			So, you know, everybody knows somebody can pray,
		
00:20:38 --> 00:20:39
			but then
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:41
			he prays maybe like Maghrib, he doesn't pray.
		
00:20:41 --> 00:20:43
			Isha or he comes home, prays all the
		
00:20:43 --> 00:20:43
			prayers together,
		
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			and sometimes he doesn't pray. So that is
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:48
			doing salah, you know, you're not really establishing
		
00:20:49 --> 00:20:51
			salah. When you establish something, it doesn't go
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:53
			anywhere. You you are known to always be
		
00:20:53 --> 00:20:55
			praying. He doesn't and if you miss salah,
		
00:20:55 --> 00:20:57
			you make it up right away. You know,
		
00:20:57 --> 00:20:59
			so you're not someone who's dabbling in and
		
00:20:59 --> 00:21:01
			out of salah. The only time, subhanAllah,
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:03
			Allah
		
00:21:03 --> 00:21:04
			uses,
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:07
			when it comes to salah, he doesn't use
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:09
			ikamat his salah.
		
00:21:10 --> 00:21:11
			Who can guess when's the only time in
		
00:21:11 --> 00:21:14
			the Quran he doesn't use, he doesn't tell
		
00:21:14 --> 00:21:17
			the companions to establish the salah but rather
		
00:21:17 --> 00:21:19
			he says pray instead of saying establish the
		
00:21:19 --> 00:21:21
			prayer. What is the only time?
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:23
			What's that?
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:25
			The war. The war.
		
00:21:26 --> 00:21:28
			During Alayk salam?
		
00:21:32 --> 00:21:34
			Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, of course inshallah.
		
00:21:34 --> 00:21:36
			I said there's only one time in the
		
00:21:36 --> 00:21:38
			Quran where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
00:21:38 --> 00:21:41
			doesn't say establish the prayer but that he
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:42
			only says pray.
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:45
			And the brother answered it, it was during
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:46
			war.
		
00:21:46 --> 00:21:48
			Right? Because they had they had a formation.
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:51
			2 would pray, the prophet would lead them
		
00:21:51 --> 00:21:53
			in 2 rak'ahs, then the army would move
		
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56
			those who prayed after they salamed, the other
		
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58
			army would come back, the other section of
		
00:21:58 --> 00:21:59
			the army, and they would pray with the
		
00:21:59 --> 00:22:00
			prophet
		
00:22:00 --> 00:22:02
			The only reason establishing prayer is not used
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:04
			here is because you can't focus,
		
00:22:04 --> 00:22:06
			you know, you you just wanna get the
		
00:22:06 --> 00:22:07
			prayer over with,
		
00:22:07 --> 00:22:09
			right, because you're in the middle of a
		
00:22:09 --> 00:22:09
			war.
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:13
			But every other time there must be a
		
00:22:13 --> 00:22:15
			priority of salah, meaning you have to establish,
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:18
			you're coming into it with a tranquil heart.
		
00:22:18 --> 00:22:20
			That's one of the conditions of prayer, tranquility.
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:22
			Right? You're not rushing, you're not trying to
		
00:22:22 --> 00:22:24
			get it over with, there must be that
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:27
			in your life, especially in the children's lives.
		
00:22:27 --> 00:22:29
			You can't train them to pray and not
		
00:22:29 --> 00:22:29
			pray.
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:32
			You know, oh, maghrib's okay but Fajr is
		
00:22:32 --> 00:22:33
			not okay. You know, Fajr you wake up
		
00:22:33 --> 00:22:35
			whenever you want. No, you can't do that
		
00:22:35 --> 00:22:37
			because that's not establishing the prayer.
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:39
			And so here, he's making sure
		
00:22:39 --> 00:22:42
			he lets his son know to let the
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:44
			prayer be a pillar of your life because
		
00:22:44 --> 00:22:46
			that is gonna be your lifeline with Allah
		
00:22:46 --> 00:22:49
			Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala. Once the prayer is gone,
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:51
			the connection with Allah is dimmed.
		
00:22:52 --> 00:22:55
			I don't wanna say completely eradicated because it's
		
00:22:55 --> 00:22:57
			never completely eradicated. Right? As Allah
		
00:23:01 --> 00:23:03
			says, Oh, those who despair against the mercy
		
00:23:03 --> 00:23:06
			of Allah or those who, have given up
		
00:23:06 --> 00:23:07
			on themselves, do not despair on the mercy
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:10
			of Allah. That's always going to be open,
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:11
			but it's dimmed.
		
00:23:12 --> 00:23:15
			You are playing with the connection and it's
		
00:23:15 --> 00:23:16
			not gonna be good for you when you
		
00:23:16 --> 00:23:18
			need it. But here, I wanna draw your
		
00:23:18 --> 00:23:21
			attention to something we all are guilty of.
		
00:23:22 --> 00:23:22
			We
		
00:23:23 --> 00:23:26
			pray, we come out of prayer and business
		
00:23:26 --> 00:23:26
			as usual.
		
00:23:27 --> 00:23:30
			Nothing changed. You saw it wrong, you kept
		
00:23:30 --> 00:23:30
			moving.
		
00:23:32 --> 00:23:33
			Now,
		
00:23:33 --> 00:23:35
			you have to question your salah
		
00:23:35 --> 00:23:36
			because the salah
		
00:23:36 --> 00:23:38
			is supposed to
		
00:23:38 --> 00:23:40
			bring about change, reformation
		
00:23:40 --> 00:23:43
			in your life outside of salah. Here's the
		
00:23:43 --> 00:23:44
			proof.
		
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46
			So, Shu'aib,
		
00:23:46 --> 00:23:48
			he's talking to his people in Midian
		
00:23:49 --> 00:23:51
			and they have a problem. What was the
		
00:23:51 --> 00:23:53
			problem of Shu'aib's people? They used to cheat
		
00:23:53 --> 00:23:54
			people,
		
00:23:54 --> 00:23:55
			the products,
		
00:23:56 --> 00:23:57
			you know, they used to water down the
		
00:23:57 --> 00:23:58
			yogurts and the milks
		
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01
			and they would mess with the scales.
		
00:24:01 --> 00:24:04
			Corruption, fraud, they were into money. That was
		
00:24:04 --> 00:24:04
			their fitna.
		
00:24:05 --> 00:24:07
			And so, Shu'aib kept advising them
		
00:24:08 --> 00:24:10
			and he kept telling them be be careful
		
00:24:10 --> 00:24:11
			of your crime.
		
00:24:11 --> 00:24:14
			And they said to him, Khalu, yeah Shu'aib.
		
00:24:14 --> 00:24:16
			Oh, Shu'aib. They got fed up of Shu'aib.
		
00:24:23 --> 00:24:23
			Shoaib.
		
00:24:26 --> 00:24:27
			Does your prayer Shoaib
		
00:24:28 --> 00:24:31
			dictate to you what we should do
		
00:24:32 --> 00:24:34
			with worshiping other gods or what we should
		
00:24:34 --> 00:24:36
			do with our own money. It's our money.
		
00:24:36 --> 00:24:38
			Why you bothering us?
		
00:24:38 --> 00:24:39
			Essentially, right?
		
00:24:39 --> 00:24:40
			So he says,
		
00:24:41 --> 00:24:42
			he says, yes.
		
00:24:43 --> 00:24:45
			Because at the end of the day
		
00:24:45 --> 00:24:47
			if I don't let my salah,
		
00:24:49 --> 00:24:50
			give me the guidance
		
00:24:51 --> 00:24:53
			to speak out against evil
		
00:24:53 --> 00:24:55
			and to enjoin the good, then what good
		
00:24:55 --> 00:24:56
			is my salah?
		
00:24:57 --> 00:24:58
			What has it done for me?
		
00:24:59 --> 00:25:02
			What because you know your main focus in
		
00:25:02 --> 00:25:02
			life,
		
00:25:03 --> 00:25:05
			is that you worship Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.
		
00:25:05 --> 00:25:07
			But the worship is not limited to salah.
		
00:25:07 --> 00:25:10
			The worship is living a life of a
		
00:25:10 --> 00:25:10
			Muslim
		
00:25:11 --> 00:25:14
			in every sector of your life. Whether it
		
00:25:14 --> 00:25:15
			be with your finances,
		
00:25:15 --> 00:25:17
			whether it be with your family, whether it
		
00:25:17 --> 00:25:18
			be with your,
		
00:25:19 --> 00:25:20
			transactions with others.
		
00:25:22 --> 00:25:24
			So salah is important. You let the salah
		
00:25:24 --> 00:25:26
			help you. Sometimes we struggle,
		
00:25:27 --> 00:25:29
			Like, I wanna speak out against this strong
		
00:25:29 --> 00:25:30
			but I don't have the courage. So you
		
00:25:30 --> 00:25:31
			go into salah
		
00:25:32 --> 00:25:33
			to derive strength,
		
00:25:33 --> 00:25:35
			so that you can last until the next
		
00:25:35 --> 00:25:36
			salah.
		
00:25:36 --> 00:25:38
			You can be someone who is upright in
		
00:25:38 --> 00:25:39
			character.
		
00:25:39 --> 00:25:41
			You're working on those flaws of yours. Maybe
		
00:25:41 --> 00:25:44
			an addiction to social media. Maybe an addiction
		
00:25:45 --> 00:25:47
			to something like food. Any addiction you have,
		
00:25:47 --> 00:25:49
			any weakness you have, you go into the
		
00:25:49 --> 00:25:51
			salah to derive the strength.
		
00:25:52 --> 00:25:53
			But you don't do the salah as a
		
00:25:53 --> 00:25:54
			chore
		
00:25:54 --> 00:25:57
			because then it doesn't have the true benefit.
		
00:25:57 --> 00:25:59
			The salah was meant to strengthen you.
		
00:26:00 --> 00:26:01
			You know think about when the prophet received
		
00:26:01 --> 00:26:03
			salah. When did the prophet receive salah?
		
00:26:05 --> 00:26:07
			When times was the most difficult for him.
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:07
			Right?
		
00:26:07 --> 00:26:09
			'Amul Husn, the year of sadness.
		
00:26:10 --> 00:26:12
			When he had almost nothing, everything was taken
		
00:26:12 --> 00:26:15
			from him. So Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala brought
		
00:26:15 --> 00:26:16
			him up
		
00:26:17 --> 00:26:18
			to tell him and to gift him with
		
00:26:18 --> 00:26:20
			salah for him and for the ummah.
		
00:26:20 --> 00:26:22
			And then he would say whenever things got
		
00:26:22 --> 00:26:23
			really tight,
		
00:26:24 --> 00:26:25
			what did he used to say to Bilal?
		
00:26:29 --> 00:26:31
			Oh, Bilal call azaan so we can get
		
00:26:31 --> 00:26:34
			relief. Meaning, we wanna go into prayer so
		
00:26:34 --> 00:26:36
			we can get some relief from the stress
		
00:26:36 --> 00:26:38
			we're going through. They went through a lot
		
00:26:38 --> 00:26:39
			of stress with the ummah, the sacrificing and
		
00:26:39 --> 00:26:42
			building. Same thing with us. It's hard to
		
00:26:42 --> 00:26:44
			be upon the truth. If you're really doing
		
00:26:44 --> 00:26:46
			it the right way, it's hard because you're
		
00:26:46 --> 00:26:48
			gonna be attacked from all ends. And here,
		
00:26:48 --> 00:26:50
			it's beautiful because it takes us right to
		
00:26:50 --> 00:26:52
			the next part of Luqman's advice to his
		
00:26:52 --> 00:26:53
			son.
		
00:26:53 --> 00:26:53
			He says,
		
00:26:55 --> 00:26:57
			oh my son, I need you to understand
		
00:26:57 --> 00:27:00
			salah is important, establish it. Then he says
		
00:27:00 --> 00:27:02
			that salah will lead you to something. What
		
00:27:02 --> 00:27:03
			will lead you?
		
00:27:05 --> 00:27:07
			It will lead you to enjoying good and
		
00:27:07 --> 00:27:07
			forbid evil.
		
00:27:08 --> 00:27:11
			That's the product of salah. Then he says
		
00:27:13 --> 00:27:14
			and be patient
		
00:27:15 --> 00:27:17
			about what's going to come after that.
		
00:27:17 --> 00:27:19
			Because if you do this right,
		
00:27:20 --> 00:27:21
			there'll be a target on your back.
		
00:27:22 --> 00:27:24
			This is brother always talking about Just think
		
00:27:24 --> 00:27:26
			about one subject. Let's take one subject, the
		
00:27:26 --> 00:27:27
			LGBTQ
		
00:27:27 --> 00:27:28
			subject.
		
00:27:29 --> 00:27:31
			What's afflicting our communities now?
		
00:27:32 --> 00:27:35
			Right? If you say something in your job,
		
00:27:35 --> 00:27:36
			in your workplace,
		
00:27:36 --> 00:27:38
			if you say something in a community other
		
00:27:38 --> 00:27:40
			than our community,
		
00:27:40 --> 00:27:42
			there's a target on your back. Yes?
		
00:27:43 --> 00:27:43
			Oh,
		
00:27:44 --> 00:27:47
			they've conflated now, you were a hate monger.
		
00:27:47 --> 00:27:48
			You're not tolerant,
		
00:27:50 --> 00:27:52
			you know, why can't you accept them? They
		
00:27:52 --> 00:27:54
			were born this way
		
00:27:54 --> 00:27:55
			and all of a sudden
		
00:27:55 --> 00:27:58
			you begin to think twice. Your children imagine
		
00:27:58 --> 00:27:59
			what they're thinking.
		
00:28:00 --> 00:28:02
			Dad, why are you so strict?
		
00:28:02 --> 00:28:04
			My teacher is like that. He's normal person.
		
00:28:04 --> 00:28:06
			He's nice. It's okay.
		
00:28:06 --> 00:28:08
			Everybody's desensitized.
		
00:28:08 --> 00:28:10
			So you have to go against the grain
		
00:28:10 --> 00:28:12
			and whenever you go against the grain,
		
00:28:13 --> 00:28:16
			you're someone who is an extremist
		
00:28:16 --> 00:28:17
			and you're marginalized.
		
00:28:18 --> 00:28:20
			Now we start to see how the prophets
		
00:28:20 --> 00:28:22
			were taken in their societies.
		
00:28:22 --> 00:28:23
			They were called madmen,
		
00:28:24 --> 00:28:25
			crazy people, magicians.
		
00:28:26 --> 00:28:28
			Right? You 1st you can't imagine it, but
		
00:28:28 --> 00:28:29
			now we can imagine
		
00:28:29 --> 00:28:31
			it because now we're the problems are starting
		
00:28:31 --> 00:28:34
			to emerge. All the problems of the olden
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:34
			days
		
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37
			all coming in one time to let you
		
00:28:37 --> 00:28:38
			know the end of time is near
		
00:28:39 --> 00:28:41
			because these were some of the old things
		
00:28:42 --> 00:28:45
			that are all reemerging in our societies together.
		
00:28:45 --> 00:28:46
			The the riba,
		
00:28:46 --> 00:28:47
			the LGBTQ
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:48
			issue,
		
00:28:48 --> 00:28:49
			the lawlessness,
		
00:28:50 --> 00:28:51
			the lack of,
		
00:28:52 --> 00:28:54
			proper authority where the authorities, those who are
		
00:28:54 --> 00:28:56
			in charge of us are juhal. They have
		
00:28:56 --> 00:28:58
			no They're ignorant.
		
00:28:58 --> 00:29:00
			People who are convicted of crimes are being
		
00:29:00 --> 00:29:02
			prompted as as leaders of nations.
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:05
			You know, people who are puppets, they don't
		
00:29:05 --> 00:29:07
			have no they don't have integrity.
		
00:29:07 --> 00:29:10
			They are being the ones leading us.
		
00:29:10 --> 00:29:12
			This is all signs of the day of
		
00:29:13 --> 00:29:14
			judgment. Alright. So here,
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:16
			if you do it right,
		
00:29:16 --> 00:29:17
			he says,
		
00:29:19 --> 00:29:21
			be patient, oh my son, for what's going
		
00:29:21 --> 00:29:22
			to befall you.
		
00:29:23 --> 00:29:25
			And this is so important, he's preparing his
		
00:29:25 --> 00:29:26
			son. He's not
		
00:29:26 --> 00:29:28
			telling him, you know, shielding him from danger.
		
00:29:28 --> 00:29:30
			What we do to our children, right? We
		
00:29:30 --> 00:29:32
			try to spoil them, we came from rough
		
00:29:32 --> 00:29:35
			lives maybe, so we try to shelter them
		
00:29:35 --> 00:29:37
			so they don't have that rough life.
		
00:29:37 --> 00:29:39
			But what you're doing is you're doing them
		
00:29:39 --> 00:29:39
			a disservice,
		
00:29:40 --> 00:29:41
			right? Because why?
		
00:29:42 --> 00:29:44
			They become soft men.
		
00:29:45 --> 00:29:46
			You know, hard times
		
00:29:46 --> 00:29:49
			is a very famous saying, it raises strong
		
00:29:49 --> 00:29:49
			men.
		
00:29:50 --> 00:29:52
			Strong men bring about good times
		
00:29:53 --> 00:29:54
			and good times
		
00:29:54 --> 00:29:55
			bring about weak men.
		
00:29:56 --> 00:29:57
			Right? Men who, they get pricked, they're like,
		
00:29:57 --> 00:29:58
			ow.
		
00:29:59 --> 00:30:00
			You know, they they can't, you can't send
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:02
			these men to war. You can't send these
		
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04
			men to do big missions or big projects.
		
00:30:05 --> 00:30:07
			They don't have that fortitude,
		
00:30:07 --> 00:30:08
			that longevity,
		
00:30:09 --> 00:30:09
			that stamina
		
00:30:09 --> 00:30:12
			to withstand pain and suffering because you need
		
00:30:12 --> 00:30:14
			to go through pain and suffering to accomplish
		
00:30:14 --> 00:30:16
			anything in life. But if they are just
		
00:30:16 --> 00:30:18
			flinching at every little,
		
00:30:18 --> 00:30:19
			you know, mishap,
		
00:30:20 --> 00:30:22
			how far could they truly go?
		
00:30:22 --> 00:30:23
			That's important.
		
00:30:23 --> 00:30:24
			We could have
		
00:30:25 --> 00:30:26
			a righteous child.
		
00:30:27 --> 00:30:28
			He prays,
		
00:30:29 --> 00:30:31
			he gives sadaqa, he gives sama,
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:34
			but his personality is weak. That's a problem,
		
00:30:35 --> 00:30:38
			Right? He's praying perfectly. He's good. Masha Allah.
		
00:30:38 --> 00:30:40
			He's he's good. But any problem comes, he
		
00:30:40 --> 00:30:41
			can handle it.
		
00:30:42 --> 00:30:44
			To be a man in his in his
		
00:30:44 --> 00:30:44
			household,
		
00:30:44 --> 00:30:46
			to lead a family, he can't really He's
		
00:30:46 --> 00:30:47
			too timid.
		
00:30:48 --> 00:30:50
			You want both, you want righteousness
		
00:30:51 --> 00:30:52
			and you want character.
		
00:30:53 --> 00:30:55
			What did the prophet he say
		
00:30:56 --> 00:30:58
			when it came to who you should marry
		
00:30:58 --> 00:30:59
			your wife to?
		
00:30:59 --> 00:31:01
			He gave advice. When you have someone,
		
00:31:01 --> 00:31:04
			your daughter too, I'm sorry. When someone's coming
		
00:31:04 --> 00:31:06
			for your daughter at hand in marriage, as
		
00:31:06 --> 00:31:07
			a father,
		
00:31:08 --> 00:31:11
			who is the ideal candidate as per the
		
00:31:11 --> 00:31:12
			prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam?
		
00:31:14 --> 00:31:16
			Do you remember? Do you remember what the
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:16
			Prophet said?
		
00:31:19 --> 00:31:20
			What is it?
		
00:31:23 --> 00:31:25
			If you are pleased with His
		
00:31:25 --> 00:31:26
			Do you know who?
		
00:31:28 --> 00:31:30
			If you are pre Now look, the prophet
		
00:31:30 --> 00:31:33
			is saying 2 things you look for in
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:33
			a man
		
00:31:33 --> 00:31:35
			to join your family,
		
00:31:36 --> 00:31:37
			his deen
		
00:31:38 --> 00:31:39
			and his character.
		
00:31:40 --> 00:31:41
			Now we know deen
		
00:31:42 --> 00:31:44
			is a comprehensive term.
		
00:31:44 --> 00:31:46
			Character is part of deen.
		
00:31:46 --> 00:31:47
			Agree?
		
00:31:48 --> 00:31:49
			Deen is complete.
		
00:31:49 --> 00:31:51
			But whenever the Prophet splits them up that
		
00:31:51 --> 00:31:53
			means they have specific meanings.
		
00:31:54 --> 00:31:55
			So, one is his religiosity,
		
00:31:56 --> 00:31:58
			his relationship with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
		
00:31:59 --> 00:32:01
			and the other one is his character.
		
00:32:01 --> 00:32:02
			How is he?
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:04
			Is he someone who's rough?
		
00:32:05 --> 00:32:06
			Would he hit his
		
00:32:06 --> 00:32:07
			wife?
		
00:32:07 --> 00:32:08
			Would he
		
00:32:10 --> 00:32:10
			cheat people?
		
00:32:11 --> 00:32:13
			These are things you have to take into
		
00:32:13 --> 00:32:13
			consideration.
		
00:32:14 --> 00:32:17
			If his character is sound and his relationship
		
00:32:17 --> 00:32:19
			with Allah is sound, he's your man.
		
00:32:20 --> 00:32:21
			Don't ask me about
		
00:32:22 --> 00:32:23
			is he a millionaire?
		
00:32:23 --> 00:32:26
			How many degrees does he have? All of
		
00:32:26 --> 00:32:28
			that is irrelevant when it comes to the
		
00:32:28 --> 00:32:29
			basic necessities
		
00:32:29 --> 00:32:32
			of what the Prophet has given here. And
		
00:32:32 --> 00:32:34
			so now, when you raise children, you think
		
00:32:34 --> 00:32:35
			about that.
		
00:32:35 --> 00:32:36
			What are some of the things we do
		
00:32:36 --> 00:32:37
			to hinder
		
00:32:38 --> 00:32:39
			their character?
		
00:32:39 --> 00:32:41
			We may have a hafiz in the house,
		
00:32:41 --> 00:32:43
			alhamdulillah. We've been working on him with the
		
00:32:43 --> 00:32:45
			Quran and we've been working on him with
		
00:32:45 --> 00:32:47
			the prayers, alhamdulillah we got that part. But
		
00:32:47 --> 00:32:49
			he's we always criticize him.
		
00:32:50 --> 00:32:51
			We always tell him why did he do
		
00:32:51 --> 00:32:53
			this and why didn't he do this. What
		
00:32:53 --> 00:32:54
			does that lead to?
		
00:32:55 --> 00:32:55
			Timid,
		
00:32:56 --> 00:32:57
			weak personality.
		
00:32:58 --> 00:32:59
			If there was a group,
		
00:32:59 --> 00:33:02
			an Islamist group that are, you know, extreme,
		
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05
			he would easily be led by them. Right.
		
00:33:05 --> 00:33:06
			They
		
00:33:07 --> 00:33:08
			they they he falls for anything. So, what
		
00:33:08 --> 00:33:10
			what am I trying to say? The prophet
		
00:33:10 --> 00:33:12
			if you looked at the the book I
		
00:33:12 --> 00:33:14
			mentioned in the beginning, children around the prophet,
		
00:33:15 --> 00:33:17
			one of the narrations by Anas
		
00:33:18 --> 00:33:20
			Anas says, I lived with the messenger 10
		
00:33:20 --> 00:33:23
			years. I've been with the Prophet How many?
		
00:33:23 --> 00:33:24
			10 years as a servant.
		
00:33:25 --> 00:33:28
			His mom, his mother, alhamdulillah, she had wisdom.
		
00:33:28 --> 00:33:30
			She gave him when he was 10 to
		
00:33:30 --> 00:33:32
			Rasul 'asalam to be a servant, so he
		
00:33:32 --> 00:33:34
			can learn under the Prophet. So, Anas
		
00:33:35 --> 00:33:37
			says, whenever the Prophet there was a time
		
00:33:37 --> 00:33:38
			he sent me for errands
		
00:33:39 --> 00:33:41
			and I saw the kids playing, so I
		
00:33:41 --> 00:33:42
			played with them and I forgot about the
		
00:33:42 --> 00:33:43
			errand.
		
00:33:43 --> 00:33:46
			The Prophet met me on the way to
		
00:33:46 --> 00:33:47
			the masjid.
		
00:33:47 --> 00:33:49
			So, the Prophet is saying to Anas,
		
00:33:50 --> 00:33:53
			he doesn't ask him. He doesn't rebuke him.
		
00:33:53 --> 00:33:55
			He doesn't say why did you do this
		
00:33:55 --> 00:33:56
			or why didn't you do this?
		
00:33:57 --> 00:33:58
			He says he never told me that in
		
00:33:58 --> 00:34:00
			10 years. I've never heard from the Prophet
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:02
			this sort of criticism.
		
00:34:03 --> 00:34:05
			But the Prophet did advise children because in
		
00:34:05 --> 00:34:07
			another part, the the kid who used to
		
00:34:07 --> 00:34:09
			come in and eat with the sahaba and
		
00:34:09 --> 00:34:11
			he would eat from everywhere. So, he says,
		
00:34:11 --> 00:34:12
			yeah, oh
		
00:34:12 --> 00:34:13
			young man,
		
00:34:14 --> 00:34:16
			and eat from your area.
		
00:34:16 --> 00:34:17
			Eat with your right hand and eat from
		
00:34:17 --> 00:34:20
			your area. So, the Prophet would give advice,
		
00:34:21 --> 00:34:22
			but he wouldn't criticize.
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:24
			And they did a study on
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:27
			German Shepherds, particularly. These are dogs that are
		
00:34:27 --> 00:34:30
			supposed to be trained to be go getters,
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:31
			you know, protecting and guarding,
		
00:34:32 --> 00:34:34
			and be ready for danger.
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:36
			He says, at the beginning when you raise
		
00:34:36 --> 00:34:38
			a German Shepherd you don't tell him,
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:41
			stop doing that, don't do this, because you're
		
00:34:41 --> 00:34:41
			killing that
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:45
			part of him that's going to basically allow
		
00:34:45 --> 00:34:48
			him to do his job. Right? So, this
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:50
			could be taken with the children. If you're
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:53
			over critical of the children, they pull back.
		
00:34:53 --> 00:34:55
			They always second guess themselves.
		
00:34:55 --> 00:34:58
			They can't formulate their own opinions in life.
		
00:34:58 --> 00:34:59
			They don't
		
00:34:59 --> 00:35:01
			evolve to be men.
		
00:35:01 --> 00:35:03
			So, you have to be careful how you
		
00:35:03 --> 00:35:05
			impart the advice. I told you in the
		
00:35:05 --> 00:35:07
			beginning, as Luqman is doing now,
		
00:35:07 --> 00:35:08
			oh my son, I love you for the
		
00:35:08 --> 00:35:09
			sake of Allah. Let me tell you a
		
00:35:09 --> 00:35:11
			piece of advice, it's all about
		
00:35:12 --> 00:35:12
			how you deliver.
		
00:35:13 --> 00:35:13
			And so,
		
00:35:14 --> 00:35:16
			here, he gives them these three things. 'Akemi
		
00:35:16 --> 00:35:17
			Sala
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:19
			established a prayer, wadmurbulmarruf
		
00:35:20 --> 00:35:21
			wanhaanilmunkar
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:23
			wasbir alaamaaswabik,
		
00:35:24 --> 00:35:25
			inna dhali kaminazimil
		
00:35:25 --> 00:35:28
			umur. This is the highest of resolves.
		
00:35:29 --> 00:35:30
			He's teaching him determination,
		
00:35:31 --> 00:35:32
			just like Musa alaihis salam
		
00:35:33 --> 00:35:35
			taught his companion determination.
		
00:35:35 --> 00:35:37
			Which companion did he teach determination? Who can
		
00:35:37 --> 00:35:39
			tell me? Musa alaihis salam.
		
00:35:41 --> 00:35:42
			You shab e Noon, the young boy. He
		
00:35:42 --> 00:35:43
			said,
		
00:35:47 --> 00:35:49
			He says, I will not stop to find
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:51
			this man, al Khidr, until I reach the
		
00:35:51 --> 00:35:53
			junctions of the sea, even if it takes
		
00:35:53 --> 00:35:54
			me ages.
		
00:35:55 --> 00:35:58
			Right? So he's teaching his young partner here
		
00:35:58 --> 00:36:00
			that always for the sake of knowledge be
		
00:36:00 --> 00:36:00
			determined
		
00:36:01 --> 00:36:03
			and always say to yourself, I will not
		
00:36:03 --> 00:36:05
			stop until I achieve so and so. Whatever
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:07
			it is, the goal that you're trying to
		
00:36:07 --> 00:36:08
			achieve.
		
00:36:09 --> 00:36:11
			So he begins to to do this and
		
00:36:11 --> 00:36:14
			then, Luqman continues to talk to his, his
		
00:36:14 --> 00:36:15
			son,
		
00:36:15 --> 00:36:17
			and he says to him, at the end,
		
00:36:17 --> 00:36:20
			when you when you have reached a level
		
00:36:20 --> 00:36:23
			where you're now someone who is a stand
		
00:36:23 --> 00:36:24
			up person in your community,
		
00:36:24 --> 00:36:26
			You established a prayer.
		
00:36:26 --> 00:36:27
			You,
		
00:36:27 --> 00:36:30
			enjoying the good and forbid the wrong and
		
00:36:30 --> 00:36:30
			you're patient.
		
00:36:31 --> 00:36:33
			He says, then there's something that you should
		
00:36:33 --> 00:36:33
			know.
		
00:36:43 --> 00:36:45
			He says, oh my dear son, do not
		
00:36:45 --> 00:36:47
			turn your nose up to the people.
		
00:36:47 --> 00:36:49
			Because what ends up happening to people who
		
00:36:49 --> 00:36:51
			are overly religious sometimes,
		
00:36:52 --> 00:36:54
			they begin to feel entitled.
		
00:36:54 --> 00:36:56
			Right? Look at me, I'm better. I'm wearing
		
00:36:56 --> 00:36:58
			thobes now. I've got a kufi.
		
00:36:58 --> 00:37:00
			I'm someone who's always establishing my prayer. I
		
00:37:00 --> 00:37:02
			tell people what to do right and wrong
		
00:37:02 --> 00:37:05
			because I know their religion now, So you
		
00:37:05 --> 00:37:05
			feel
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:06
			entitled
		
00:37:07 --> 00:37:09
			to tell people what to do and you
		
00:37:09 --> 00:37:10
			feel arrogant.
		
00:37:11 --> 00:37:13
			So he is telling his son at the
		
00:37:13 --> 00:37:14
			end of the advice,
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:16
			don't ever give your nose to the people.
		
00:37:17 --> 00:37:18
			Don't be arrogant.
		
00:37:20 --> 00:37:21
			And don't walk pridefully.
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:28
			Allah does not like
		
00:37:29 --> 00:37:30
			arrogant and boastfulness.
		
00:37:31 --> 00:37:33
			Allah doesn't like that. It'll destroy
		
00:37:34 --> 00:37:36
			everything you've worked for. Just like who?
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:39
			Shaitan. Right? Shaitan rose up to the ranks
		
00:37:39 --> 00:37:40
			of the angels
		
00:37:40 --> 00:37:42
			but because he was arrogant
		
00:37:42 --> 00:37:44
			and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala He says to
		
00:37:44 --> 00:37:46
			the hadith of the messengers salallahu alaihi wa
		
00:37:46 --> 00:37:48
			sallam, no one will enter Jannah if he
		
00:37:48 --> 00:37:50
			has a mustard seed of arrogance.
		
00:37:51 --> 00:37:53
			So they said, oh messenger of Allah, if
		
00:37:53 --> 00:37:55
			we wear nice clothes, is that a sign
		
00:37:55 --> 00:37:56
			of arrogance? He says, no.
		
00:37:58 --> 00:38:01
			Allah loves beautiful beauty. He is beautiful himself
		
00:38:01 --> 00:38:02
			and he loves beauty.
		
00:38:03 --> 00:38:04
			So that's not what it means to be
		
00:38:04 --> 00:38:05
			prideful,
		
00:38:05 --> 00:38:07
			to wear nice clothes and to look nice.
		
00:38:08 --> 00:38:11
			Rather it's to whenever truth is presented,
		
00:38:11 --> 00:38:13
			you say no to it, or you turn
		
00:38:13 --> 00:38:16
			away from it because of arrogance. That's true
		
00:38:16 --> 00:38:16
			arrogance,
		
00:38:17 --> 00:38:19
			and that's exactly what happened to Shaytan.
		
00:38:19 --> 00:38:21
			So we can teach our children at the
		
00:38:21 --> 00:38:22
			end of their journey
		
00:38:22 --> 00:38:25
			to always be humble, always walk with the
		
00:38:25 --> 00:38:28
			people. We mentioned the leadership of the prophet
		
00:38:28 --> 00:38:29
			shalallahu alaihi wa sallam. The sahaba would come
		
00:38:29 --> 00:38:30
			into the masjid,
		
00:38:31 --> 00:38:33
			they would be with him, and a stranger
		
00:38:33 --> 00:38:35
			would come in, and he would be looking
		
00:38:35 --> 00:38:37
			for the prophet, someone who was not Muslim.
		
00:38:37 --> 00:38:39
			And they would have to say, where's Muhammad,
		
00:38:39 --> 00:38:40
			Aina Muhammad?
		
00:38:41 --> 00:38:44
			Could you imagine? No special office, no throne.
		
00:38:44 --> 00:38:46
			He's just amongst his companions.
		
00:38:47 --> 00:38:49
			Right? And there's a hadith, some say it's
		
00:38:49 --> 00:38:51
			weak, but it's worth mentioning.
		
00:38:51 --> 00:38:53
			The prophet was on a journey with his
		
00:38:53 --> 00:38:54
			companions.
		
00:38:54 --> 00:38:57
			So, they got hungry. One companion says,
		
00:38:58 --> 00:39:00
			uh-uh, I will slaughter the sheep.
		
00:39:00 --> 00:39:00
			Another
		
00:39:01 --> 00:39:03
			one says, I will skin it. Another one
		
00:39:03 --> 00:39:04
			says,
		
00:39:05 --> 00:39:07
			I will cook it. And the Prophet says,
		
00:39:08 --> 00:39:11
			I will collect the firewood for it. So,
		
00:39:11 --> 00:39:12
			they said, oh messenger of Allah, you don't
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:14
			have to move an inch, we'll take care
		
00:39:14 --> 00:39:16
			of everything. You just sit and relax, we're
		
00:39:16 --> 00:39:18
			gonna cook it, skin it, get it ready
		
00:39:18 --> 00:39:20
			for you, and we're gonna present it to
		
00:39:20 --> 00:39:22
			you. He says, I know you will do
		
00:39:22 --> 00:39:23
			that for me, but Allah
		
00:39:27 --> 00:39:29
			But Allah doesn't like
		
00:39:29 --> 00:39:30
			that his slave
		
00:39:31 --> 00:39:33
			become distinguished from his other slaves.
		
00:39:34 --> 00:39:36
			Right? That his friends, his companions,
		
00:39:36 --> 00:39:39
			that someone be above them in the sense
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:40
			of this particular
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:43
			instant, is Allah doesn't like that and so
		
00:39:43 --> 00:39:46
			he joined and brought the firewood together. So
		
00:39:46 --> 00:39:49
			it's a very important lesson. He says,
		
00:39:49 --> 00:39:51
			the last piece of advice Luqman gave his
		
00:39:51 --> 00:39:52
			son,
		
00:39:58 --> 00:40:00
			He says be moderate in your pace
		
00:40:01 --> 00:40:02
			and lower your voice.
		
00:40:03 --> 00:40:03
			This is important.
		
00:40:04 --> 00:40:06
			The voice represents what the adab, right, that
		
00:40:06 --> 00:40:07
			you shouldn't be
		
00:40:08 --> 00:40:10
			like shouting at everybody and shouting everywhere. He
		
00:40:10 --> 00:40:12
			says, lower your voice for the ugliest of
		
00:40:12 --> 00:40:13
			voices
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:15
			is the braying of donkeys.
		
00:40:16 --> 00:40:17
			So this is the,
		
00:40:17 --> 00:40:20
			the hikma that Luqman imparted on his son
		
00:40:20 --> 00:40:22
			and that we could all do for our
		
00:40:22 --> 00:40:24
			children, boy or girl. Right?
		
00:40:24 --> 00:40:25
			At the end of the day my dear
		
00:40:25 --> 00:40:26
			brothers and sisters,
		
00:40:27 --> 00:40:30
			as I mentioned, we are all responsible for
		
00:40:30 --> 00:40:31
			our children.
		
00:40:31 --> 00:40:33
			If you take Ibrahim alayhi salam,
		
00:40:33 --> 00:40:35
			Ibrahim on his deathbed,
		
00:40:35 --> 00:40:38
			Allah Subhanu Ta'ala he says, wa wasa Ibrahim
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:40
			bani. He says, he called his sons
		
00:40:40 --> 00:40:42
			and he says, Inna Allah has
		
00:40:44 --> 00:40:46
			selected for you Islam as the way of
		
00:40:46 --> 00:40:46
			life.
		
00:40:47 --> 00:40:48
			He says,
		
00:40:51 --> 00:40:54
			Don't leave this world except that you're Muslim.
		
00:40:54 --> 00:40:56
			Now, just ponder about that for a little
		
00:40:56 --> 00:40:56
			bit.
		
00:40:57 --> 00:40:59
			Someone at his death bed,
		
00:40:59 --> 00:41:01
			you would think he's everything is circling around
		
00:41:01 --> 00:41:04
			his head. You know, the property, the money,
		
00:41:04 --> 00:41:06
			who to give, who not to give, all
		
00:41:06 --> 00:41:08
			of this stuff is circling around someone's head
		
00:41:08 --> 00:41:09
			at their deathbed.
		
00:41:09 --> 00:41:13
			But Allah rewards you for how you lived
		
00:41:13 --> 00:41:15
			your life by giving you a host al
		
00:41:15 --> 00:41:15
			khatima,
		
00:41:16 --> 00:41:18
			by giving you a good ending.
		
00:41:18 --> 00:41:20
			A good ending is what? It's revealing
		
00:41:21 --> 00:41:24
			of what you live by. So Ibrahim, at
		
00:41:24 --> 00:41:26
			the last words that he spoke was to
		
00:41:26 --> 00:41:27
			his sons,
		
00:41:27 --> 00:41:29
			it's befitting because he lived the life of
		
00:41:29 --> 00:41:31
			Tawhid. He lived the life of Islam
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:34
			and his children receive that from him.
		
00:41:34 --> 00:41:35
			The biggest thing you could do is to
		
00:41:35 --> 00:41:37
			be an example by you doing the things
		
00:41:37 --> 00:41:40
			that you want your children to do. It'll
		
00:41:40 --> 00:41:43
			easily transmit to them. And so here he's
		
00:41:43 --> 00:41:45
			telling his sons and making sure they know
		
00:41:45 --> 00:41:47
			the most important thing for them
		
00:41:47 --> 00:41:49
			is Islam, nothing else.
		
00:41:49 --> 00:41:51
			If you establish Islam,
		
00:41:51 --> 00:41:53
			Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will help you.
		
00:41:53 --> 00:41:57
			And so, that then, the next verse, he's
		
00:41:57 --> 00:41:58
			talking about Yaqub.
		
00:41:58 --> 00:42:00
			Yaqub was the grandson of Ibrahim.
		
00:42:01 --> 00:42:02
			And Allah says in this verse,
		
00:42:06 --> 00:42:09
			Were you present? Were you witnesses when Yaqub
		
00:42:09 --> 00:42:10
			was on his deathbed?
		
00:42:11 --> 00:42:12
			Now think about it. This is probably a
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:13
			100 years later.
		
00:42:14 --> 00:42:16
			Yaqub is now on his deathbed
		
00:42:16 --> 00:42:18
			and he learns from his grandfather.
		
00:42:19 --> 00:42:20
			He says,
		
00:42:21 --> 00:42:23
			What are you going to worship after me?
		
00:42:24 --> 00:42:26
			He tells his 12 children and Yusuf alaihi
		
00:42:26 --> 00:42:27
			salaam.
		
00:42:27 --> 00:42:28
			And they say,
		
00:42:36 --> 00:42:38
			We will worship your lord and the lord
		
00:42:38 --> 00:42:39
			of Ibrahim
		
00:42:40 --> 00:42:42
			and Ishmael and Ishaq and
		
00:42:42 --> 00:42:43
			and the one lord,
		
00:42:44 --> 00:42:45
			and to him we will be Muslims.
		
00:42:46 --> 00:42:47
			Then Allah says,
		
00:42:49 --> 00:42:51
			This is a nation that has passed.
		
00:42:55 --> 00:42:57
			They will have what they earned meaning they
		
00:42:57 --> 00:42:58
			had a responsibility
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:01
			and the last minute they're checking up on
		
00:43:01 --> 00:43:02
			that responsibility.
		
00:43:03 --> 00:43:05
			Hey, everybody on check. I'm leaving this world
		
00:43:05 --> 00:43:06
			now. As we said
		
00:43:08 --> 00:43:09
			every soul is gonna taste death.
		
00:43:10 --> 00:43:11
			So now the last things I wanna make
		
00:43:11 --> 00:43:13
			sure of is, are you guys gonna continue
		
00:43:13 --> 00:43:16
			to practice Islam? To establish salah? To enjoin
		
00:43:16 --> 00:43:18
			the good, forbid the evil? Are you going
		
00:43:18 --> 00:43:20
			to be patient? Are you gonna establish Allah's
		
00:43:20 --> 00:43:21
			rule on this land?
		
00:43:22 --> 00:43:24
			And once they hear the affirmative,
		
00:43:25 --> 00:43:27
			they have now finished their job. Right? And
		
00:43:27 --> 00:43:28
			Allah is saying,
		
00:43:30 --> 00:43:33
			This is a nation that finished its past.
		
00:43:34 --> 00:43:36
			They will have what they earned
		
00:43:36 --> 00:43:39
			and you now have to earn your part.
		
00:43:40 --> 00:43:40
			Right?
		
00:43:44 --> 00:43:45
			You still have your duty.
		
00:43:46 --> 00:43:48
			Right? So here Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
		
00:43:48 --> 00:43:50
			putting the burden on us. We're still living.
		
00:43:50 --> 00:43:52
			We're not dead yet. But we have the
		
00:43:52 --> 00:43:55
			examples of Ibrahim. We have the examples of
		
00:43:55 --> 00:43:55
			Luqman.
		
00:43:56 --> 00:43:58
			We have the examples of those who passed
		
00:43:58 --> 00:43:59
			before us in the Quran.
		
00:44:00 --> 00:44:03
			By reading their stories and taking their advices,
		
00:44:03 --> 00:44:06
			we now know or have the manual of
		
00:44:06 --> 00:44:08
			how to live our lives. Make sure, we
		
00:44:08 --> 00:44:10
			said prioritize in our life Islam
		
00:44:11 --> 00:44:13
			and make sure their children also feel that
		
00:44:13 --> 00:44:14
			same prioritization.
		
00:44:15 --> 00:44:17
			Right. Don't do don't say something and not
		
00:44:17 --> 00:44:19
			do it. Right. You're doing something else and
		
00:44:19 --> 00:44:21
			you're saying something else, the children are gonna
		
00:44:21 --> 00:44:23
			immediately pick up on it.
		
00:44:24 --> 00:44:26
			Right. We can't fool them, as they are
		
00:44:26 --> 00:44:27
			fully aware,
		
00:44:27 --> 00:44:31
			of of, of how we live our lives.
		
00:44:31 --> 00:44:32
			So insha'Allah,
		
00:44:33 --> 00:44:35
			we want to leave some room for question
		
00:44:35 --> 00:44:35
			and answers,
		
00:44:36 --> 00:44:39
			about what it is that we need as
		
00:44:39 --> 00:44:39
			a community,
		
00:44:40 --> 00:44:41
			as individuals,
		
00:44:42 --> 00:44:44
			to be able to lead a family to
		
00:44:44 --> 00:44:47
			the ultimate success, to Jannah. The one thing
		
00:44:47 --> 00:44:49
			I can definitely tell you now, my dear
		
00:44:49 --> 00:44:52
			brothers and sisters, is we're afflicted with addictions.
		
00:44:53 --> 00:44:54
			Addictions everywhere.
		
00:44:55 --> 00:44:57
			Social media addictions, that's a big one. You
		
00:44:57 --> 00:45:00
			know, we can't focus on doing a task
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:03
			because we're scrolling through feeds and reels. Right?
		
00:45:04 --> 00:45:05
			Or addictions to money.
		
00:45:06 --> 00:45:09
			As the prophet he referred to Abd dinar.
		
00:45:09 --> 00:45:11
			Taissa Abd dinar.
		
00:45:11 --> 00:45:13
			He says the the slave of the dollar.
		
00:45:14 --> 00:45:15
			Right? He worked it all the time. I
		
00:45:15 --> 00:45:18
			gotta make money. I gotta make money. But
		
00:45:18 --> 00:45:20
			who's gonna raise your child while you're making
		
00:45:20 --> 00:45:20
			money?
		
00:45:21 --> 00:45:23
			Who's gonna make that time out? There's only
		
00:45:23 --> 00:45:24
			one father.
		
00:45:24 --> 00:45:26
			Right? Nobody else can take that job but
		
00:45:26 --> 00:45:27
			you.
		
00:45:27 --> 00:45:29
			Right? There's only one leader. There's only one
		
00:45:29 --> 00:45:29
			mother.
		
00:45:30 --> 00:45:32
			So if you have filled that time with
		
00:45:32 --> 00:45:33
			other things,
		
00:45:34 --> 00:45:35
			you're gonna have to answer.
		
00:45:36 --> 00:45:39
			If your child is not the way he
		
00:45:39 --> 00:45:42
			should be in the sense that he's raised
		
00:45:42 --> 00:45:45
			knowing the Islamic values and so forth. Are
		
00:45:45 --> 00:45:47
			there exceptions, meaning you did your work and
		
00:45:47 --> 00:45:50
			still the results are not in your favor?
		
00:45:50 --> 00:45:51
			Yes, of course. We have the examples of
		
00:45:51 --> 00:45:52
			Nuh alaihis salaam.
		
00:45:53 --> 00:45:53
			Right?
		
00:45:54 --> 00:45:56
			So but the exception is not what we're
		
00:45:56 --> 00:45:58
			going for. We're going for the normal. The
		
00:45:58 --> 00:46:00
			normal is we put the work, we live
		
00:46:00 --> 00:46:02
			a life, and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will
		
00:46:02 --> 00:46:03
			help us.
		
00:46:03 --> 00:46:05
			So there's a lot of obstacles. I wanna
		
00:46:05 --> 00:46:06
			hear from you guys inshallah.
		
00:46:07 --> 00:46:09
			What do you see as some obstacles raising
		
00:46:09 --> 00:46:12
			children and leading a family to success
		
00:46:12 --> 00:46:15
			here in Pennsylvania, Allentown, Pennsylvania?
		
00:46:22 --> 00:46:23
			Bismillah, don't be shy.
		
00:46:24 --> 00:46:26
			What are some of the obstacles? Lack of
		
00:46:26 --> 00:46:27
			resources?
		
00:46:27 --> 00:46:29
			Lack of time,
		
00:46:29 --> 00:46:29
			maybe?
		
00:46:34 --> 00:46:35
			What is it?
		
00:46:36 --> 00:46:37
			Yes. Bismillah.
		
00:46:39 --> 00:46:40
			Akshayama talukha.
		
00:46:49 --> 00:46:51
			Could you repeat? I'm sorry. One more time.
		
00:46:54 --> 00:46:57
			Oh, okay. So here, Luqman is giving his
		
00:46:57 --> 00:46:58
			his son final advices.
		
00:46:59 --> 00:47:01
			The advice that he's given in the final
		
00:47:01 --> 00:47:04
			verses is that once you've achieved a certain
		
00:47:04 --> 00:47:05
			level of religiosity
		
00:47:06 --> 00:47:07
			and responsibility,
		
00:47:08 --> 00:47:10
			don't give your nose to the people.
		
00:47:11 --> 00:47:12
			Don't be arrogant.
		
00:47:12 --> 00:47:14
			And so the prophet shalallahu alaihi wa sallam,
		
00:47:14 --> 00:47:16
			he says, no one will enter Jannah
		
00:47:17 --> 00:47:17
			if he has
		
00:47:18 --> 00:47:22
			a mustard seed of arrogance in his heart.
		
00:47:54 --> 00:47:56
			I think there's children on the other side
		
00:47:56 --> 00:47:57
			probably.
		
00:50:06 --> 00:50:07
			Bismillah. Bismillah. Alhamdulillah.
		
00:50:10 --> 00:50:11
			Sorry about that.
		
00:50:12 --> 00:50:15
			So, sister, I was saying that
		
00:50:16 --> 00:50:18
			the final advice of Luqman to his son
		
00:50:18 --> 00:50:21
			was that don't give your nose to the
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:21
			people
		
00:50:21 --> 00:50:24
			and don't walk pridefully on the earth
		
00:50:24 --> 00:50:27
			because sometimes when we've achieved a level of
		
00:50:28 --> 00:50:29
			accomplishment in our lives,
		
00:50:30 --> 00:50:31
			we tend to be
		
00:50:31 --> 00:50:34
			feeling entitled and so we walk arrogantly.
		
00:50:34 --> 00:50:35
			So the prophet
		
00:50:36 --> 00:50:37
			did mention in hadith,
		
00:50:37 --> 00:50:40
			no one will enter Jannah if he has
		
00:50:40 --> 00:50:42
			a mustard seed of arrogance in his heart.
		
00:50:43 --> 00:50:46
			And they asked him, concerned about this hadith,
		
00:50:46 --> 00:50:49
			O Messenger of Allah, we love to wear
		
00:50:49 --> 00:50:50
			nice clothes.
		
00:50:50 --> 00:50:52
			Is that a sign of arrogance?
		
00:50:52 --> 00:50:54
			And he says, no. Allah jamaeluhibbul
		
00:50:55 --> 00:50:57
			jamaal Allah is beautiful and he loves beauty
		
00:50:57 --> 00:50:59
			to see the beauty of his favors
		
00:51:00 --> 00:51:02
			upon his slaves. He loves that. So, that's
		
00:51:02 --> 00:51:03
			not pridefulness.
		
00:51:03 --> 00:51:05
			Pridefulness, he then says,
		
00:51:05 --> 00:51:08
			is when someone is confronted with the truth,
		
00:51:09 --> 00:51:11
			he rejects it because of who it's coming
		
00:51:11 --> 00:51:12
			from. Alright.
		
00:51:13 --> 00:51:15
			He sees truth but he doesn't want to
		
00:51:15 --> 00:51:17
			follow because of his own arrogance,
		
00:51:17 --> 00:51:19
			that is true pride, and that's what happened
		
00:51:19 --> 00:51:20
			to Shaytan.
		
00:51:20 --> 00:51:22
			Shaytan rose up to the rank of the
		
00:51:22 --> 00:51:25
			angels having achieved so much, and then when
		
00:51:25 --> 00:51:26
			he was told to make saysdah,
		
00:51:26 --> 00:51:27
			he refused
		
00:51:28 --> 00:51:30
			even though he knew it was coming directly
		
00:51:30 --> 00:51:32
			from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And so we
		
00:51:32 --> 00:51:34
			teach our children no matter how accomplished they
		
00:51:34 --> 00:51:35
			are in their lives,
		
00:51:36 --> 00:51:37
			they will still be nothing
		
00:51:38 --> 00:51:40
			without the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
		
00:51:41 --> 00:51:42
			They need to understand
		
00:51:42 --> 00:51:44
			everything good that happened in their lives
		
00:51:45 --> 00:51:46
			is from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We talked
		
00:51:46 --> 00:51:47
			about Dhul Qurnayn
		
00:51:48 --> 00:51:50
			after he erected such a magnificent structure to
		
00:51:50 --> 00:51:51
			protect,
		
00:51:52 --> 00:51:53
			the the people that he was protecting,
		
00:51:54 --> 00:51:56
			he he then referred it back to the
		
00:51:56 --> 00:51:58
			mercy of Allah, and that is a sign
		
00:51:58 --> 00:51:59
			of a true leader.
		
00:52:00 --> 00:52:02
			You make sure your family recognize any good
		
00:52:02 --> 00:52:05
			that's happened in our family, it's not because
		
00:52:05 --> 00:52:05
			of,
		
00:52:06 --> 00:52:08
			it's baba, it's not because of baba, it's
		
00:52:08 --> 00:52:09
			because of Allah
		
00:52:10 --> 00:52:11
			If you can get them to connect that,
		
00:52:12 --> 00:52:14
			they will always have that hope in Allah
		
00:52:15 --> 00:52:17
			no matter if you're there or if you're
		
00:52:17 --> 00:52:19
			not there. But if they think you're the
		
00:52:19 --> 00:52:21
			one, you know, you're the one bringing the
		
00:52:21 --> 00:52:22
			money, the food, everything,
		
00:52:22 --> 00:52:24
			and if something happens to you, then what
		
00:52:24 --> 00:52:25
			happens?
		
00:52:25 --> 00:52:26
			Hope is
		
00:52:26 --> 00:52:29
			lost. Right? So always attach your family to
		
00:52:29 --> 00:52:29
			Allah
		
00:52:30 --> 00:52:32
			and let them know it is Allah who
		
00:52:32 --> 00:52:34
			every day gives you. Every day that you
		
00:52:34 --> 00:52:36
			wake up, Allah is the one who's providing.
		
00:52:37 --> 00:52:40
			Very important for that. So, Fadhill. Do you
		
00:52:40 --> 00:52:42
			have a great board on the persistence of
		
00:52:42 --> 00:52:44
			those 2 brands, how to get the bad
		
00:52:44 --> 00:52:44
			character?
		
00:52:46 --> 00:52:47
			Yes.
		
00:52:48 --> 00:52:49
			Yes.
		
00:52:49 --> 00:52:52
			So so so the psychologists have studied
		
00:52:53 --> 00:52:56
			some of the components that a father or
		
00:52:56 --> 00:52:56
			a parent
		
00:52:57 --> 00:52:58
			translates to his children.
		
00:52:59 --> 00:53:01
			There's so many different pillars to this, but
		
00:53:01 --> 00:53:03
			he says the number one pillar, and that's
		
00:53:03 --> 00:53:04
			why I mentioned this in the beginning,
		
00:53:05 --> 00:53:08
			is love. There must be some love there
		
00:53:08 --> 00:53:11
			or the perception. Of course, a father knows
		
00:53:11 --> 00:53:13
			he's loving his childhood, but he has to
		
00:53:13 --> 00:53:15
			translate that. The son has to see that,
		
00:53:16 --> 00:53:18
			because if that pillar is not there, he's
		
00:53:18 --> 00:53:20
			going to start looking to others as role
		
00:53:20 --> 00:53:21
			models.
		
00:53:21 --> 00:53:24
			Right? But if he feels there's a connection
		
00:53:24 --> 00:53:26
			with his father, there's communication, there's love, he's
		
00:53:26 --> 00:53:28
			gonna look to you as his role model,
		
00:53:29 --> 00:53:31
			but what happens is many fathers nowadays or
		
00:53:31 --> 00:53:35
			many parents, they've disconnected that, you know, by
		
00:53:35 --> 00:53:37
			kind of being harsh, my way or the
		
00:53:37 --> 00:53:39
			highway or, you know, and all these sort
		
00:53:39 --> 00:53:40
			of rhetorics and,
		
00:53:41 --> 00:53:44
			feelings that they get from you, like, that
		
00:53:44 --> 00:53:46
			distance them from you. What happens? They look
		
00:53:46 --> 00:53:48
			for friends, they look for role models, basketball
		
00:53:48 --> 00:53:49
			players, singers,
		
00:53:49 --> 00:53:51
			somebody they don't even know, but they just
		
00:53:51 --> 00:53:52
			see the good parts,
		
00:53:53 --> 00:53:54
			you know, they don't see the the hard
		
00:53:54 --> 00:53:56
			parts, so they see the good parts of
		
00:53:56 --> 00:53:57
			this person and they look at them as
		
00:53:57 --> 00:54:00
			a role model, and so it becomes that
		
00:54:00 --> 00:54:02
			veering off of the path.
		
00:54:02 --> 00:54:04
			The other important thing I did mention which
		
00:54:04 --> 00:54:05
			is is important,
		
00:54:06 --> 00:54:08
			when you take that narration of Anas
		
00:54:08 --> 00:54:10
			when he says the Prophet after 10 years,
		
00:54:10 --> 00:54:13
			he never criticized me. He never says, why
		
00:54:13 --> 00:54:15
			did you do this? Why didn't you do
		
00:54:15 --> 00:54:17
			this? Some people misunderstand
		
00:54:17 --> 00:54:18
			as I mentioned.
		
00:54:18 --> 00:54:19
			They misunderstand
		
00:54:19 --> 00:54:22
			that to say, oh, the father should never
		
00:54:22 --> 00:54:24
			speak out against any wrong that he sees
		
00:54:24 --> 00:54:27
			his son do. That's wrong because the prophet
		
00:54:27 --> 00:54:28
			always gave advice. He gave it to Ibn
		
00:54:28 --> 00:54:30
			Abbas. He gave it to the young boy
		
00:54:30 --> 00:54:32
			who I told you was eating from the
		
00:54:32 --> 00:54:33
			plate. He says,
		
00:54:37 --> 00:54:38
			He says,
		
00:54:39 --> 00:54:40
			eat with your right hand, eat with what
		
00:54:40 --> 00:54:42
			is in front of you. But, the way
		
00:54:42 --> 00:54:44
			he said it was like an advice and
		
00:54:44 --> 00:54:45
			not a criticism.
		
00:54:45 --> 00:54:47
			That's the difference, it's the delivery.
		
00:54:48 --> 00:54:50
			We want our children, we want our children
		
00:54:50 --> 00:54:53
			to be men, as I mentioned. In order
		
00:54:53 --> 00:54:54
			for you to make them a man, you
		
00:54:54 --> 00:54:56
			have to deal with them a certain way.
		
00:54:57 --> 00:54:59
			If you over criticize them at the beginning,
		
00:54:59 --> 00:55:00
			and I've seen this myself,
		
00:55:01 --> 00:55:04
			I've seen, children who had a weight placed
		
00:55:04 --> 00:55:06
			on them. Why don't you do the why
		
00:55:06 --> 00:55:08
			aren't you doing this right? Why is your
		
00:55:08 --> 00:55:10
			grades not a 100 and all this pressure?
		
00:55:10 --> 00:55:13
			And they end up doing, you know, like
		
00:55:13 --> 00:55:15
			Xanax or something or or what they call
		
00:55:15 --> 00:55:18
			now like relaxation meds because they feel overly
		
00:55:18 --> 00:55:20
			anxious, they're timid all the time, they don't
		
00:55:20 --> 00:55:21
			have a decision,
		
00:55:21 --> 00:55:24
			they always follow others, they're followers not leaders,
		
00:55:25 --> 00:55:28
			and this is coming stems from the upbringing.
		
00:55:28 --> 00:55:30
			If we're over critical on our children,
		
00:55:31 --> 00:55:33
			meaning always criticizing them,
		
00:55:33 --> 00:55:35
			then that has an effect on them. And
		
00:55:35 --> 00:55:37
			I said to you in the beginning, we
		
00:55:37 --> 00:55:39
			want righteous children,
		
00:55:39 --> 00:55:41
			but we also want strong personalities.
		
00:55:42 --> 00:55:44
			We want leaders. We don't want timid
		
00:55:45 --> 00:55:47
			righteous people. We don't want that. He prays,
		
00:55:47 --> 00:55:49
			but when it comes to a decision, he
		
00:55:49 --> 00:55:50
			can't make a decision.
		
00:55:50 --> 00:55:51
			He can't run a family.
		
00:55:52 --> 00:55:53
			You know? So, there's a deficiency,
		
00:55:54 --> 00:55:57
			and I allude to the ayahs in Surat,
		
00:55:57 --> 00:55:58
			I believe in
		
00:55:58 --> 00:56:01
			where Musa alaihi salam meets the 2 girls.
		
00:56:01 --> 00:56:03
			The 2 girls go back to their father
		
00:56:03 --> 00:56:05
			and they say, oh father, hire him, he
		
00:56:05 --> 00:56:06
			is.
		
00:56:07 --> 00:56:08
			He is strong
		
00:56:09 --> 00:56:11
			and he is trustworthy. He has the two
		
00:56:11 --> 00:56:13
			things we talked about. When you come and
		
00:56:13 --> 00:56:15
			a daughter, you're marrying off your daughter,
		
00:56:15 --> 00:56:18
			what the prophet says, if you are pleased
		
00:56:18 --> 00:56:19
			with 2 things,
		
00:56:21 --> 00:56:23
			If you're pleased with his deen and his
		
00:56:23 --> 00:56:24
			character.
		
00:56:24 --> 00:56:27
			That character we leave off sometimes. Some people
		
00:56:27 --> 00:56:28
			have character, but no deen.
		
00:56:28 --> 00:56:30
			And usually they're, like I said, they're together,
		
00:56:30 --> 00:56:33
			but in this hadith the prophet mentioned them
		
00:56:33 --> 00:56:33
			separately.
		
00:56:34 --> 00:56:36
			Right? So, we want someone who has deen,
		
00:56:36 --> 00:56:38
			he's known for having a relationship in the
		
00:56:38 --> 00:56:39
			masjid,
		
00:56:39 --> 00:56:41
			he's known for having relationship with Allah Subhanahu
		
00:56:41 --> 00:56:44
			Wa Ta'ala, but he also has a good
		
00:56:44 --> 00:56:45
			strong personality.
		
00:56:49 --> 00:56:51
			Yeah. But when it comes to our daughters,
		
00:56:52 --> 00:56:53
			daughters can be complicated.
		
00:56:54 --> 00:56:55
			They can be stressful sometimes.
		
00:56:56 --> 00:56:58
			Right? Because you're dealing with emotions and hormones
		
00:56:58 --> 00:57:01
			and all these things. The Prophet gave a
		
00:57:01 --> 00:57:01
			great incentive.
		
00:57:02 --> 00:57:03
			This is whoever raises
		
00:57:03 --> 00:57:05
			2 girls and another hadith, 3 girls
		
00:57:06 --> 00:57:08
			and he raises them right, he will get
		
00:57:08 --> 00:57:08
			Jannah.
		
00:57:09 --> 00:57:11
			Right? He will be close to me on
		
00:57:11 --> 00:57:12
			the day of judgment.
		
00:57:12 --> 00:57:14
			So, there's a great incentive to how you
		
00:57:14 --> 00:57:17
			properly deal with your children especially the girls.
		
00:57:17 --> 00:57:20
			And, the prophet how he dealt with Fatima
		
00:57:20 --> 00:57:21
			was extremely gentle.
		
00:57:22 --> 00:57:24
			He would make sure he gets up so
		
00:57:24 --> 00:57:27
			she can sit down. Right? Even though it's
		
00:57:27 --> 00:57:27
			just
		
00:57:28 --> 00:57:29
			an atonement of love
		
00:57:30 --> 00:57:32
			to show her she's the most prized in
		
00:57:32 --> 00:57:32
			his life.
		
00:57:33 --> 00:57:34
			You know, but at the same time
		
00:57:35 --> 00:57:37
			he said when Usama bin Zayed came to
		
00:57:37 --> 00:57:38
			him,
		
00:57:38 --> 00:57:39
			trying to
		
00:57:41 --> 00:57:43
			relieve that woman of the punishment of fraud,
		
00:57:44 --> 00:57:45
			he says the prophet
		
00:57:45 --> 00:57:47
			he got angry and he says, if my
		
00:57:47 --> 00:57:49
			own daughter Fatima was to steal, I would
		
00:57:49 --> 00:57:52
			cut off her hand. So there's a balance
		
00:57:52 --> 00:57:54
			there. I'm gonna not cheat you because I'm
		
00:57:54 --> 00:57:55
			I'm I can't save you Fatima.
		
00:57:55 --> 00:57:57
			So on the day of judgment, nothing will
		
00:57:57 --> 00:57:59
			save you. Just just because you're my daughter
		
00:57:59 --> 00:58:01
			doesn't mean you automatically get a pass.
		
00:58:01 --> 00:58:03
			So you teach them these values,
		
00:58:03 --> 00:58:05
			but you also show them a great deal
		
00:58:05 --> 00:58:06
			of value and love,
		
00:58:06 --> 00:58:08
			in the way you deal with them, because
		
00:58:08 --> 00:58:09
			they're gonna remember that. Even not in the
		
00:58:09 --> 00:58:12
			beginning, later they're gonna remember that, and they
		
00:58:12 --> 00:58:14
			will use that as an example for who
		
00:58:14 --> 00:58:16
			they're going to be with. You know, you're
		
00:58:16 --> 00:58:17
			you're gonna be that example,
		
00:58:18 --> 00:58:20
			for them in their future relationships.
		
00:58:24 --> 00:58:26
			No more Any questions?
		
00:58:27 --> 00:58:28
			One more question. Yes.
		
00:58:35 --> 00:58:37
			Yes. Okay. So, people
		
00:58:39 --> 00:58:40
			So, okay. The prophet was a human
		
00:58:41 --> 00:58:42
			being. One day he got into a fight
		
00:58:42 --> 00:58:43
			with his wives.
		
00:58:44 --> 00:58:45
			They were nagging him,
		
00:58:45 --> 00:58:47
			you know, and they're as we all we
		
00:58:47 --> 00:58:48
			can we can,
		
00:58:48 --> 00:58:50
			you know, relate to that.
		
00:58:50 --> 00:58:53
			So he left, he abandoned the house. He
		
00:58:53 --> 00:58:55
			had a secret place that he would go
		
00:58:55 --> 00:58:56
			to. It's like a little room for him
		
00:58:56 --> 00:58:58
			somewhere outside by the masjid.
		
00:58:59 --> 00:59:01
			And, who found him? Umar
		
00:59:01 --> 00:59:02
			was looking for him. He's like, where's the
		
00:59:02 --> 00:59:04
			prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam? So, he goes
		
00:59:04 --> 00:59:05
			to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, he
		
00:59:05 --> 00:59:08
			sees he's stressed by the nagging of his
		
00:59:08 --> 00:59:10
			wives. You know, they were complaining about little
		
00:59:10 --> 00:59:13
			things, maybe of the dunya because as you
		
00:59:13 --> 00:59:15
			know the the the to be a family
		
00:59:15 --> 00:59:16
			of the prophet is very difficult.
		
00:59:17 --> 00:59:18
			He didn't live with riches
		
00:59:19 --> 00:59:20
			and so, Umar
		
00:59:21 --> 00:59:22
			comforted him. He was like a buddy
		
00:59:23 --> 00:59:25
			to him at that time, and he's kind
		
00:59:25 --> 00:59:26
			of hearing him out.
		
00:59:26 --> 00:59:28
			Just why do I bring this up? It's
		
00:59:28 --> 00:59:29
			because I want you to know the prophet
		
00:59:29 --> 00:59:31
			was human. He had to deal with this.
		
00:59:31 --> 00:59:33
			Right? It's not a perfect world.
		
00:59:34 --> 00:59:35
			In the in Sa'd ibn Waqas,
		
00:59:36 --> 00:59:38
			one time he got into argument with one
		
00:59:38 --> 00:59:40
			of his wives. His wife slapped him in
		
00:59:40 --> 00:59:41
			the face,
		
00:59:41 --> 00:59:43
			you know. So, these incidences
		
00:59:43 --> 00:59:46
			are there, you know. The sahaba were not
		
00:59:47 --> 00:59:48
			living a perfect life,
		
00:59:49 --> 00:59:51
			but we have to it's how you react
		
00:59:51 --> 00:59:53
			to things. Right? It's how you move on.
		
00:59:53 --> 00:59:55
			And I told you this the salah
		
00:59:55 --> 00:59:57
			is what you derive strength from. You know,
		
00:59:57 --> 00:59:59
			you said, you know what? Let me pray
		
00:59:59 --> 00:59:59
			salah.
		
01:00:01 --> 01:00:03
			We need relief from this dunya
		
01:00:03 --> 01:00:05
			because this dunya is not meant to be
		
01:00:06 --> 01:00:06
			the abode.
		
01:00:07 --> 01:00:09
			Right? You're on this dunya as a test,
		
01:00:09 --> 01:00:11
			you'll be tested with your family.
		
01:00:14 --> 01:00:15
			Fitna.
		
01:00:15 --> 01:00:18
			These are tests, your wealth and your children
		
01:00:18 --> 01:00:19
			are fitna.
		
01:00:19 --> 01:00:19
			So
		
01:00:20 --> 01:00:21
			be prepared for the fitna.
		
01:00:22 --> 01:00:24
			Be prepared for your reaction. The whole point
		
01:00:24 --> 01:00:26
			is to perfect yourself. You know what, I
		
01:00:26 --> 01:00:28
			reacted bad last time, this time I'm gonna
		
01:00:29 --> 01:00:30
			fix a little bit with how I react.
		
01:00:30 --> 01:00:32
			I'm not gonna let those same buttons
		
01:00:33 --> 01:00:36
			push me to blow up or whatever the
		
01:00:36 --> 01:00:37
			case may be.
		
01:03:48 --> 01:03:49
			Yes, Nishalna.
		
01:04:00 --> 01:04:01
			Yes.
		
01:04:15 --> 01:04:17
			Yeah. That's a very big problem in our
		
01:04:17 --> 01:04:19
			communities. Women are getting older,
		
01:04:19 --> 01:04:21
			more qualified than the men,
		
01:04:22 --> 01:04:24
			and so when the men come, they're not
		
01:04:24 --> 01:04:26
			worthy of getting married. Right?
		
01:04:26 --> 01:04:27
			So, I
		
01:04:29 --> 01:04:30
			Yes. The question was,
		
01:04:31 --> 01:04:34
			fathers are finding their daughters getting older, the
		
01:04:34 --> 01:04:35
			women, the sisters,
		
01:04:36 --> 01:04:37
			and they're not able to get married.
		
01:04:38 --> 01:04:41
			And so what should they do? Right? Pretty
		
01:04:41 --> 01:04:41
			much, yeah.
		
01:04:42 --> 01:04:43
			So, you know, I don't have an answer
		
01:04:43 --> 01:04:46
			for that. I have family also in the
		
01:04:46 --> 01:04:47
			same thing,
		
01:04:48 --> 01:04:50
			but what I can see that's happening is,
		
01:04:50 --> 01:04:51
			like I said,
		
01:04:52 --> 01:04:53
			we're prioritizing
		
01:04:54 --> 01:04:55
			the dunya
		
01:04:56 --> 01:04:58
			for these children. We brought them here, we
		
01:04:58 --> 01:04:59
			have a certain expectation,
		
01:05:00 --> 01:05:02
			but we forgot what's really important for a
		
01:05:02 --> 01:05:04
			woman particularly, is to be
		
01:05:05 --> 01:05:08
			raising children, to be taking care of the
		
01:05:08 --> 01:05:09
			upbringing of the home.
		
01:05:09 --> 01:05:12
			She may have many talents and we respect
		
01:05:12 --> 01:05:14
			the lady and the sister for all her
		
01:05:14 --> 01:05:15
			accolades and accomplishments,
		
01:05:16 --> 01:05:18
			but really, she's supposed to be first and
		
01:05:18 --> 01:05:19
			foremost the mother
		
01:05:20 --> 01:05:22
			of your children. Right? Your wife.
		
01:05:23 --> 01:05:25
			This is what completes the family unit.
		
01:05:26 --> 01:05:28
			And so if we don't prioritize that and
		
01:05:28 --> 01:05:30
			prioritize everything else, sometimes we can't ride 2
		
01:05:30 --> 01:05:32
			horses at the same time. You know, she's
		
01:05:32 --> 01:05:35
			going for 1 horse, going for the degrees,
		
01:05:35 --> 01:05:36
			going for the accomplishments,
		
01:05:36 --> 01:05:38
			but then when she comes back to go
		
01:05:38 --> 01:05:40
			in this lane, it's already too late sometimes.
		
01:05:42 --> 01:05:42
			So,
		
01:05:43 --> 01:05:45
			I don't have an answer, but for my
		
01:05:45 --> 01:05:46
			daughter,
		
01:05:46 --> 01:05:48
			she's small, I want to make sure she
		
01:05:48 --> 01:05:51
			knows this is her first position in life,
		
01:05:51 --> 01:05:53
			to be someone who is a wife and
		
01:05:53 --> 01:05:53
			a mother,
		
01:05:54 --> 01:05:56
			and I'm gonna try to implant that as
		
01:05:56 --> 01:05:57
			much as I can,
		
01:05:57 --> 01:06:00
			and then at the end, the marriage is,
		
01:06:00 --> 01:06:01
			you know, it's all risk,
		
01:06:02 --> 01:06:04
			some people are not destined to be married,
		
01:06:04 --> 01:06:06
			that's okay, but when you have a large
		
01:06:06 --> 01:06:07
			group of a community,
		
01:06:09 --> 01:06:09
			of sisters,
		
01:06:10 --> 01:06:11
			who are not married, then we need to
		
01:06:11 --> 01:06:13
			reevaluate how we are upbringing them,
		
01:06:14 --> 01:06:15
			and
		
01:06:15 --> 01:06:17
			men need to be more open minded, you
		
01:06:17 --> 01:06:19
			know. Yes. So what if she's a little
		
01:06:19 --> 01:06:19
			old?
		
01:06:20 --> 01:06:22
			You know, the the Sahaba used to some
		
01:06:22 --> 01:06:23
			of them divorced and married
		
01:06:23 --> 01:06:25
			right after she divorced. There was no stigma
		
01:06:25 --> 01:06:27
			like it is today. Today, you don't wanna
		
01:06:27 --> 01:06:28
			go for divorce, you don't wanna go for
		
01:06:28 --> 01:06:30
			over 30, you don't wanna go for this,
		
01:06:30 --> 01:06:32
			you know, some men need to be more
		
01:06:32 --> 01:06:35
			manly. That's the other problem, is that our
		
01:06:35 --> 01:06:37
			men are becoming mature later,
		
01:06:38 --> 01:06:40
			right, they're not able to comes back to
		
01:06:40 --> 01:06:42
			that problem I told you about. We're focusing
		
01:06:42 --> 01:06:44
			on one aspect of religion, oh, he has
		
01:06:44 --> 01:06:46
			to be Hafiz, he has to be praying,
		
01:06:46 --> 01:06:48
			but we're not focusing on the building that
		
01:06:48 --> 01:06:48
			character
		
01:06:49 --> 01:06:50
			where he has to be a man, he
		
01:06:50 --> 01:06:51
			has to take responsibility.
		
01:06:52 --> 01:06:54
			You know, we're sheltering him too much. You
		
01:06:54 --> 01:06:55
			know, like I said to you in the
		
01:06:55 --> 01:06:57
			beginning, we grew some of us grew up
		
01:06:57 --> 01:06:59
			in tough times, that's what gave us that
		
01:06:59 --> 01:07:01
			character, that edge that we need to be
		
01:07:01 --> 01:07:03
			able to support a family. But when we
		
01:07:03 --> 01:07:07
			bring our children in a very comfortable environment,
		
01:07:07 --> 01:07:08
			and we don't want them to get pricked,
		
01:07:08 --> 01:07:10
			we don't want to give them any hardship
		
01:07:10 --> 01:07:12
			in their lives, they become weak,
		
01:07:12 --> 01:07:14
			and they're not able to take on an
		
01:07:14 --> 01:07:15
			older sister
		
01:07:15 --> 01:07:17
			or a widowed sister
		
01:07:17 --> 01:07:19
			and so forth. So, it's a 2 part
		
01:07:19 --> 01:07:20
			thing, you know, we need to make sure
		
01:07:20 --> 01:07:22
			our children prioritize the
		
01:07:23 --> 01:07:25
			the and by knowing their full fulfillment of
		
01:07:25 --> 01:07:27
			what a family unit looks like,
		
01:07:28 --> 01:07:29
			and we need to make sure we don't
		
01:07:29 --> 01:07:31
			shelter our children too much. We let them
		
01:07:31 --> 01:07:32
			get uncomfortable.
		
01:07:32 --> 01:07:35
			It's okay, because that's gonna build their character,
		
01:07:35 --> 01:07:37
			insha Allah. And may Allah give us tawfiq
		
01:07:37 --> 01:07:39
			to be able to to accomplish that, insha
		
01:07:39 --> 01:07:40
			Allah.
		
01:07:41 --> 01:07:44
			And just to touch on the the brothers
		
01:07:44 --> 01:07:46
			saying, how do you break cycles of negativity
		
01:07:46 --> 01:07:47
			in the house?
		
01:07:48 --> 01:07:50
			You know that negative energy that sometimes hovers
		
01:07:50 --> 01:07:51
			over the family.
		
01:07:52 --> 01:07:53
			You know I say at the end of
		
01:07:53 --> 01:07:55
			the day, Allah is the solution to everything.
		
01:07:56 --> 01:07:58
			They have something called the triangle of love.
		
01:07:58 --> 01:07:59
			Right? The triangle of love,
		
01:08:00 --> 01:08:00
			that Allah
		
01:08:01 --> 01:08:03
			is at the top, you know, one spouse
		
01:08:03 --> 01:08:05
			is here, one spouse is there. The closer
		
01:08:06 --> 01:08:07
			you try to get to Allah,
		
01:08:08 --> 01:08:10
			you'll see yourselves connecting more,
		
01:08:10 --> 01:08:13
			because that's the common glue between the 2.
		
01:08:13 --> 01:08:15
			You go ahead and do your thing,
		
01:08:15 --> 01:08:18
			you fix your relationship with Allah, I'll fix
		
01:08:18 --> 01:08:20
			my relationship with Allah, and insha'Allah, Allah will
		
01:08:20 --> 01:08:23
			in turn fix the relationship between us.
		
01:08:23 --> 01:08:25
			You have to look at it always like
		
01:08:25 --> 01:08:27
			that. To break that negativity, we need to
		
01:08:27 --> 01:08:28
			come back to Allah
		
01:08:29 --> 01:08:31
			Whether you pray kiamalay, whether you start reading
		
01:08:31 --> 01:08:32
			more Quran,
		
01:08:33 --> 01:08:35
			because the Quran what it does it melts
		
01:08:35 --> 01:08:35
			the heart.
		
01:08:38 --> 01:08:38
			It
		
01:08:40 --> 01:08:42
			is a healing to the hearts, that fire
		
01:08:42 --> 01:08:45
			that sometimes there, cools it down
		
01:08:45 --> 01:08:46
			and what enters mercy,
		
01:08:48 --> 01:08:49
			it is also a mercy. So, when that
		
01:08:49 --> 01:08:50
			mercy enters,
		
01:08:51 --> 01:08:53
			you will display that mercy to your wife,
		
01:08:53 --> 01:08:55
			to your child, right? So, that's what you're
		
01:08:55 --> 01:08:57
			missing. If you don't find that mercy anymore,
		
01:08:57 --> 01:08:59
			because remember a family is made up of
		
01:08:59 --> 01:09:02
			2 things, components, especially with the spouse, love
		
01:09:02 --> 01:09:04
			in the beginning, but when that love dies
		
01:09:04 --> 01:09:06
			out, rahma is supposed to take over,
		
01:09:06 --> 01:09:08
			mercy is supposed to take over. But if
		
01:09:08 --> 01:09:10
			the mercy is not there,
		
01:09:10 --> 01:09:12
			now you're in a rough patch. So, how
		
01:09:12 --> 01:09:14
			do you get that mercy? The Quran. Just
		
01:09:14 --> 01:09:15
			keep reading the Quran,
		
01:09:16 --> 01:09:18
			it's gonna enter as a mercy, as a
		
01:09:18 --> 01:09:18
			medicine
		
01:09:19 --> 01:09:21
			and once you feel that, now you can
		
01:09:21 --> 01:09:23
			give that mercy out.
		
01:09:23 --> 01:09:24
			And that's why the Prophet
		
01:09:24 --> 01:09:25
			was rahmatinil
		
01:09:25 --> 01:09:28
			alamin, because he was a walking Quran.
		
01:09:29 --> 01:09:30
			When Aisha was asked by the sahaba,
		
01:09:31 --> 01:09:33
			the tabi'in, who didn't get to meet the
		
01:09:33 --> 01:09:35
			Prophet, He said describe to us the prophet
		
01:09:35 --> 01:09:37
			salallahu alaihi wa sallam. He says didn't you
		
01:09:37 --> 01:09:39
			read the Quran? He is the Quran.
		
01:09:39 --> 01:09:40
			That's why he was at mercy.
		
01:09:41 --> 01:09:43
			You know, and you know the last year
		
01:09:43 --> 01:09:44
			of his life,
		
01:09:45 --> 01:09:47
			where he was most merciful,
		
01:09:47 --> 01:09:50
			he Jibril came to him twice.
		
01:09:50 --> 01:09:51
			Every year he used to come to him
		
01:09:51 --> 01:09:54
			once to review the whole Quran in Ramadan,
		
01:09:54 --> 01:09:57
			but that year before his death, he came
		
01:09:57 --> 01:09:59
			to him twice, and so you could see
		
01:09:59 --> 01:10:01
			that he was extra kind,
		
01:10:01 --> 01:10:02
			extra merciful.
		
01:10:03 --> 01:10:05
			So the Quran is a direct relationship to
		
01:10:05 --> 01:10:05
			the mercy
		
01:10:06 --> 01:10:08
			and to break that chain of negativity in
		
01:10:08 --> 01:10:09
			our house. Insha'Allah. May Allah give us mercy,
		
01:10:09 --> 01:10:11
			all of us. May Allah give us the
		
01:10:11 --> 01:10:14
			correct understanding. Insha'Allah, we'll close with that. We
		
01:10:14 --> 01:10:16
			ask Allah subhanahu ta'ala to
		
01:10:16 --> 01:10:18
			guide us to that which is best and
		
01:10:18 --> 01:10:19
			to help us to be leaders
		
01:10:20 --> 01:10:22
			who will lead our families to the ultimate
		
01:10:22 --> 01:10:23
			success.
		
01:10:23 --> 01:10:24
			We ask Allah
		
01:10:24 --> 01:10:26
			to give us the understanding
		
01:10:26 --> 01:10:28
			and the knowledge to be able to do
		
01:10:28 --> 01:10:31
			that. We ask Allah to not deviate our
		
01:10:31 --> 01:10:33
			hearts after he has guided it. We ask
		
01:10:33 --> 01:10:34
			Allah
		
01:10:34 --> 01:10:36
			to give our brothers and sisters in Gaza,
		
01:10:36 --> 01:10:38
			in Syria, and Sudan,
		
01:10:38 --> 01:10:40
			wherever the Muslims are oppressed and occupied.
		
01:10:41 --> 01:10:43
			We ask Allah to give them relief, and
		
01:10:43 --> 01:10:45
			to give them victory, and to give the
		
01:10:45 --> 01:10:47
			Ummah, Izzah, Allahummaizal
		
01:10:47 --> 01:10:48
			mustimeen,
		
01:10:48 --> 01:10:50
			Allahummaizal mustimeen,
		
01:10:50 --> 01:10:51
			Allahummaqfilil
		
01:10:51 --> 01:10:54
			mustimeen, wal mumineen, wal mumineen, wal mumineen, walhamminatalhayat
		
01:10:54 --> 01:10:55
			minuumalamwat.