Kamal El-Mekki – Protecting Ones Self
AI: Summary ©
The upcoming holiday break and the danger of women being too afraid of men are discussed, including a woman named Alaihi Wasallam who was a young boy and had a servant named N 235. The segment also touches on the temptation of men and women to commit crimes, the importance of manners and etiquette, and the hesitancy of men to talk about things they don't want to talk about. The segment also touches on the importance of fasting during public school events and avoiding distraction from others, and the need for individuals to be more aware of their boundaries.
AI: Summary ©
Inna alhamdulillah wa nishta'aynuhu wa nistaghfiruhu wa
na'udhu billahi min shururi anfusina wa min
sayyi'ati a'malina man yahdihi allahu fala mudhilla
lah waman yudhlil fala hadiya lah wa ashhadu
an la ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah
wa ashhadu anna muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluh ya
ayyuha allatheena aamanu attaqullaha haqqa tuqatihi wa la
tamutunna illa wa antum muslimun ya ayyuha allatheena
aamanu attaqullaha wa quloo qawlan sadeeda yuslih lakum
a'malakum wa yaghfil lakum dhunubakum waman yuta'illaha
wa rasulahu faqad faza fawzan azeema amma ba'd
fa inna astaqal hadithi kitaabullah wa ahsanil hadi
hadi muhammadin sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wa sharra
al umuri muhdathatuha wa kulla muhdathatin bid'a
wa kulla bid'atin dalala wa kulla bid
'atin finnaar Brothers and sisters in Islam today
because this is the last Friday of our
winter break and it is known that there
will be a lot more youth in the
audience today and so we decided to talk
about women specifically for the men the danger
of women meaning staying away from women and
we begin with this verse in Surat Al
-Imran Allah Azawajal says in
this verse Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is
saying that what has been made attractive to
people from the love of desires and then
Allah Azawajal mentions and lists a number of
things that people desire in this world so
the first thing Allah Azawajal mentions he says
and then he mentions children and then storing
heaps of gold and silver in other words
money and horses or for our times cars
and cattle and cultivated land those are the
enjoyments of this life while Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala has the most excellent return with
him so the first desire that was mentioned
and undoubtedly the strongest desire for men will
be women and this is also confirmed in
the hadith of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa
sallam that is mentioned in Sahih Al-Bukhari
through Osama Ibn Zaid the Prophet salallahu alayhi
wa sallam said I have not left any
fitna any test, trial, temptation that is more
severe, more harmful to men than women and
the scholar said this is not just speaking
about strangers or women who are not your
mahram meaning not your relatives or your wife
but unless they are righteous even the wife
can be dangerous and how many stories have
we heard and how many times have we
seen with our own eyes that a wife
will manipulate her husband until he stops giving
his mother any money or any assistance until
she goes out and begs in the streets
or she starts working in people's homes or
a man who will not speak to his
sisters for years because they don't get along
with his wife and she doesn't want him
to speak to his own sisters or step
children that a man will kick his own
child out of the house because he doesn't
get along or his wife doesn't like them
and all these kinds of things or the
mother herself and how many times have we
seen in our lives that a man divorces
his wife or can't get along with his
wife because of his mother and the manipulations
so obviously and it's unfortunate that we have
to make disclaimers like this but we're not
talking about all women being like this and
we're talking about those who are not righteous
and how they can be a strong temptation
and a strong test for men so it
is the strongest fitna no doubt the strongest
temptation yet we are very relaxed with that
and we have our youth and we put
them in the worst place in the world
that we could possibly put a child and
that is an American public school and don't
try to convince me after the khutbah in
my mind there is no place on the
planet worse than an American public school we
put them with these other children or youth
who are amoral not immoral what's the difference
between amoral and immoral an immoral person has
a moral compass a sense of morality but
they don't act upon it an amoral person
doesn't even have that so we put them
in these for lack of a better term
relaxed atmospheres and then we expect that nothing
is happening to them so we're very relaxed
with this issue with the temptation of women
and we're very confident with ourselves but the
righteous before us they didn't behave that way
Abdullah ibn Umar ibn Khattab he was a
young boy at the time of the Prophet
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and he had a later
on he becomes one of the great scholars
and he had a servant known as Nafi
'a al-Daylami and Nafi'a himself becomes
one of the great scholars of the Tabi
'een Nafi'a says that the Prophet Sallallahu
Alaihi Wasallam pointed to a door in the
masjid and he said we should leave this
door for women so Nafi'a says Abdullah
ibn Umar never ever entered nor exited from
that door until he died so from a
young boy until and he lived up to
a hundred and he never once even if
the masjid was empty walked in from that
door or left from that door because the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said we leave it
for women obeying the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam
and the fear of the strongest temptation Nafi
'a Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam after the salah he
saw the men and women from the companions
walking back home and they were not talking
to each other or joking or anything but
they were just walking there would be a
man and a few steps behind there was
a woman walking to her home and the
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said we should the
men walk in the middle of the road
and the women walk on the edges on
the sides of the road and from that
point on they said the women would walk
so close to the edge of the road
that the walls would snag onto their clothing
Imam Al-Hassan Al-Basri he said I
would never be alone with a woman even
if it's to teach her Qur'an so
we have a righteous man and a great
scholar the level of Al-Hassan Al-Basri
and he wouldn't even teach her Qur'an
and he wouldn't be alone with her to
teach her Qur'an and today compare the
things that happen in our lives listen to
what Sa'eed Al-Musayyib Rahimahullah said he
said balaghtu thamaneena aaman wa akhshaa ala nafsni
fittatan nisaa he said I have reached the
age of 80 and I still fear myself
fear for myself the temptation of women I'm
still afraid of that even though he's 80
and then he then this is the real
point he said wama ayisash shaytanu minad dukhooli
ala salihin illa min baabin nisaa so he
said and the shaytan has given up trying
to enter upon the righteous yaani the shaytan
couldn't find a way to get to the
righteous except from the door of women yaani
through the issue of women the temptation of
women that's the strongest thing the shaytan has
against the righteous not against the normal people
the laymen and that's why the righteous were
very cautious in their dealings with women Abu
Hanifa rahimahullah the imam he used to sell
fabrics so a lot of his customers would
be women and he would tell his students
and he would tell people working for him
he said if you describe the size of
the shoe of a woman that means you
have described her foot and he would teach
them fine refined manners that probably don't even
exist today he would teach his student if
a girl if a woman gets up from
a seat don't sit immediately behind her because
of you will be sitting on her warmth
things like this today will ridicule what is
her warmth doing so what but he would
tell them don't sit on her warmth wait
till the seat cools off before you sit
down and where are we from these types
of etiquettes and manners a righteous man by
the name of Hassan Ibn Abi Sinan he
went out on the day of Eid and
when he returned his wife asked him how
many beautiful women have you looked at today
and seen so he tells her I didn't
look at anything except my thumb since I
left may Allah have mercy on you I
didn't look at anything besides my thumb since
I left what does that mean he is
occupying his eyesight looking at something he is
looking at his thumb from the whole time
since I left from you until I came
back lowering his gaze a righteous man a
known individual but he is very careful very
cautious with something that we are very relaxed
with today and we are not just addressing
the youth and the single brothers but we
are addressing the single and the married as
well and even if you are married to
four it doesn't matter the scholar said if
a man marries all the women in the
city of Baghdad then a woman from Damascus
enters upon him he would think that she
probably has something that the women of Baghdad
don't have and even though they are all
the same and that's why the scholars here
in this context they said whoever is not
satisfied or sufficed with one woman well a
hundred women would not suffice them or satisfy
them and they are just always looking always
hungry so single and married are in the
same boat we belittle being friendly with women
we belittle chatting with women we belittle texting
women meaning let's play a fun game everyone
unlock your phone hand it to the person
next to you let them look through your
messages how many people would want to play
that game how many people for them death
and their wife grabbing their phone are the
same thing because of that are in that
phone so Imam Ahmad narrates from the Prophet
ﷺ he said محقرات الذنوب beware of محقرات
الذنوب means the minor sins beware of compiling
and piling up the minor sins not the
major sins فَإِنَّهُنَّ يَجْتَمِعْنَا عَلَى الرَّجُلِ حَتَّى يُهْلِكْنَهُ
that they gather upon a man until they
destroy the man so they will pile up
until the man is ruined or the woman
in this case in another narration the Prophet
ﷺ says it's like a people who are
traveling and then they stopped at a place
and they started to gather twigs or branches
to start a fire so this man grabs
one and this one grabs another this one
grabs another and then they light a fire
what's the size of that fire and it
started with little ones but it became a
huge fire and that's exactly what the warning
is beware of piling up your minor sins
because they will pile up until they ruin
and destroy a person and scholars added to
that they said that it can also the
minor sins will eventually and inevitably lead to
the major sins and other scholars said an
extra point that the minor sins can become
major due to what due to belittling the
minor sin not giving it any weight not
carrying anything that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
is watching when it becomes just a normal
part of life and it's not even a
minor sin in your mind that belittling it
can lead it to become a major sin
in the sight of Allah azza wa jal
So of course we're not suggesting that everyone
has to leave public school but we're reminding
ourselves and everyone that we need to be
very cautious and keep a distance from the
opposite gender for men and for women not
to be so relaxed not to chit chat
not to have phone numbers even if we're
working for Allah azza wa jal Muslim student
associations everyone will have everyone's number and they
will chit chat and there will be discussions
outside of working for Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala one of the solutions of course and
we've dedicated to this in the past lowering
the gaze you lower your gaze like a
champ meaning you put serious effort into it
and you will not even feel the fitna
the other solution the famous one from the
Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam if you're not
able to get married and in some cases
even if you're married what will help you
fasting fasting but how many people fast the
young man that we're the most proud of
fast Mondays and Thursdays you go to public
school and you fast Mondays and Thursdays you
think it's enough Allah if you fast everyday
it's not enough but every other day is
what we're suggesting the most beloved of fast
to Allah azza wa jal the fasting of
Nabiullah Dawood Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says
in the Quran رُبَمَا يَوَدُّ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لَوْ
كَانُوا مُسْلِمِينَ and رُبَمَا here doesn't mean perhaps
but it means indeed that there will be
a time when those who disbelieve they will
wish that they were Muslims so some of
the scholars said the Mufassireen this is at
the time of death for the non-believer
when the angel of death comes towards them
they will wish that they were believers they
will wish that they were Muslims while they
were alive on earth and then other scholars
said it is on the day of judgment
that they because of the day of judgment
and they understand that they were in the
wrong they will wish that they were believers
and other scholars said the more accurate is
that this will be in the hellfire because
Allah will gather believers who were sinners and
the disbelievers in the hellfire so the kuffar
will say to them we didn't believe in
Allah and that's why he put us here
but you were Muslims and he still put
you here but they don't know that they're
only in the hellfire until it expiates their
sins and then anyone who says la ilaha
illallah eventually leaves the hellfire and so when
they leave the hellfire meaning the sinful Muslims
are finally taken out of the hellfire and
there is no one left in it except
for the non-believers they will wish that
they too were Muslims Imam Ibn Kathir he
mentions a story about a man and he
begins by by basically making dua against the
man his name was Ibn Abdul Rahim and
he said this man was a Mujahid meaning
he always sought out jihad and he was
going from one battlefield to another and constantly
fighting against Ar-Rum Ar-Rum would typically
refer to the Europeans so he said that
in one of the battles they had laid
siege to a group of Ar-Rum and
he saw a beautiful woman peer over the
wall of the fortress so he asked her
how can I reach to you how can
I be with you and she said you
will not be with me unless you become
a Christian so he became a Christian and
she showed him away into the fortress and
he left the army of the Muslims and
he stayed with that woman and Ibn Kathir
mentions that the Muslims were very sad and
very distraught and he was a Hafidh of
the Qur'an he memorized the Qur'an
he was a Mujahid and one of their
friends and now he left Islam because of
this woman and then they said that the
siege was dismantled and they moved on and
then years later they came back some of
the believers some of those Mujahideen came back
by that exact same fortress and so they
remembered him and they began to call out
to him Ya Ibn Abdul Rahim so he
peered over the wall and they asked him
what has become of your Qur'an he
used to be a Hafidh of your Qur
'an and what has become of your Jihad
and what has become of your knowledge and
what has become of your Salah and what
has happened to all that so he cried
and he said I have forgotten the entire
Qur'an even Surah Al-Fatihah he said
I have forgotten the entire Qur'an but
I remember one verse Arabic Arabic Arabic
Arabic so he said that's the only verse
I remember this is the power of and
the strength of the trial and the fitna
of women we are not I'm not going
to put a list of a to do
list for everyone everybody knows what they need
to do in their life everyone needs to
know which boundaries they need to distance and
sever to improve their relationship with Allah Azza
wa Jal to stay away from this fitna
whether it's on their phone whether it's online
whether it's at work whether it's in the
classroom we are far too relaxed with this
and wallah I didn't want to make this
khutbah about horror stories horror stories from our
youth horror stories from married men their wives
complaining about what they catch them doing and
what they've caught them with and all that
stuff we don't want to make the khutbah
about that just suffices to say that we
should be wary and be cautious and everyone
of us knows what they need to fix
with that we ask Allah Azza wa Jal
to make us of those who hear the
truth as clear truth and follow the best
of it and to make us of those
who recognize the falsehood as clear falsehood and
abstain from it dua
dua dua dua