Channel: Ismail Kamdar
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In this part of the course, we want to discuss four tips for improving your relationships with the people in your life. Now, these four tips can all equally be applied to any relationship, whether it is with your parents, your children, your friend, but I'm going to tackle it from the perspective of your relationship with your spouse. because firstly, all of these relationships are important for you to grow as a person. We are social creatures, we do not live in vacuums, we do not operate on our own, we need a strong family and a strong community in order to tribe. So growing your relationships are just as important as growing yourself. We spoke in the previous section about how
you are your most important asset and how you have to increase your value every day, and you have to take care of yourself. But your relationship with the people in your life is also important. And that is why a lot of personal development focuses on relationships, you'll find a lot of self help books focusing on marriage, on parenting, on friendship, because these are crucial for being successful in this world. And in the afterlife. Also, we cannot live on our own. We need to be around people who love us, in order for us to be our best. This is why all of the prophets of love. As far as we know, were married, they all had family, they all had close relationships with their
family, because this is how human beings up even other Muslim Allah created him and put him in gender. He asked for a spouse. He had everything a person could want in general, but he still wanted a spouse because relationships are that important for us to succeed.
And from all those relationships, it is your relationship with your spouse that is most important.
Because if you and your spouse have a very close relationship, then you will feel like there is nothing you can't accomplish. But if you and your spouse do not get along, and you can't stand each other, then you will feel as if the world has defeated you. So the fourth tip we're going to share across these next four videos will help you in any relationship. But I will discuss them primarily from the perspective of your relationship with your spouse, so that you can apply it in that position. And you can take and apply to others as well. But that's the most important one that we want to discuss. Let's talk about the first step. The first thing that you need to do
in order to improve any relationship is to communicate,
talk to each other. You'll be surprised how many people just don't talk to each other. For example,
if somebody you know and love said something that offended you, that hurts your feelings. Most of us choose to keep quiet. And the other person has no idea what they did that made you angry. But what if you communicate what he told him? Listen, that specific word you use it hurt my feelings, or the specific sentence you said it hurts my feelings? Well, now they know. And because they love you, they won't say that anymore. They won't use that word anymore. They won't use that statement or that phrase anymore, because now they know it hurts your feelings. But they can only know this if you communicate to them.
Likewise, your needs. If you need something you need a hug, you know you need to talk you need alone time. The other person cannot know this unless you communicate it. We tend to think that our spouses and family members can read our mind system, how it works. A strong relationship is built upon communication.
And this is especially important when they are difficult topics, things that make you angry, things that make them angry, or things that are straining the relationship money problems, things which for some reason, most people today don't communicate about. I really believe that's why there's such a high rate of divorce in the modern world because we just don't talk we don't communicate, we keep things to ourselves. But what if we talk about these things, we may actually be able to find solutions or at least get through them together as a couple.
any relationship can grow stronger when you share your concerns when you share your problems. So if you are going through a problem at work, and you share it with your spouse that that makes you're closer to each other. If you have money problems if you have financial problems and you tell your spouse about it, you tell your children about it that makes them closer to you because they see that you are connected.
in them, and they will also in return share their problems with you. This is also a major problem in parenting Today, many parents
are like strangers to their children. They never share anything about their lives with their children. And then they wonder why the children don't share anything about their lives with them.
You need to lead, you need to lead by being the one who shares your problem to openly discusses the pick of topics and in return, you will find them doing the same. And when there is a problem when there is a difficult situation when there is a clash between two family members, focus on Win Win solutions, focus on finding a way in which everybody will be happy. It may mean both sides making a compromise. It may mean coming up a third solution that's different from what you wanted. But find a way where everybody wins. For example, your spouse may want to go on an expensive holiday far away. And you want to stay at home for the holidays. Or you can find the middle ground that you go for a
local holiday that's not so expensive, but it's away from home. So you're not spending that much money because you have budget problems or money problems. At the same time your spouse also gets what they want, which is to be out of the house. They see what we call a win win situation where everybody wins. Nobody loses. That's how we should tackle our problems in our families.
The key to communication is don't keep things to yourself. If you have a problem, discuss it. If someone says something that upsets you let them know what they said it upset you. If there's a difficult topic, bring it up and discuss it openly. If you made a mistake, apologize. Whatever it is communicate. The more you communicate with those who you love, the stronger your relationship with them will be